What do you get when you cross an owl and a bungie cord? My ass.

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Your momma is so dumb she'd starve if she were trapped in a fully stocked grocery store. -Actually my mom has a pHD in Nutritional Science. If she were trapped in a fully stocked grocery store, she'd utilize that knowledge to maintain a balanced diet until a way was made available for her to return home.

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When's the right time to join reality? Right now! Get off your computer!

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? A hat.

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My girlfriend wanted to talk about her feelings ... SO I TOLD THAT BITCH THAT... i really loved her and care about her feelings

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I was going to write a joke about procrastination, but I haven't gotten to it yet.

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Roses are red violets are red I think I'm bleeding It's getting in my eyes

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Why did Johnny buy the strawberry ice cream? Because when he gets the chocolate he vomits and bleeds out of his asshole.

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What's brown, dirty, and smells like feces? Feces

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What'd the mexican get for his birthday, birthday cards from his friends and family.

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What is white, wet, sticky, and gets squished out? Glue obviously, wait.... What were you thinking of?

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Q: What did the forgetful person say to the other? A:

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Why did the panda fall out of the tree? Because he was dead. Why did the second panda fall out of the tree? Because he was stapled to the first panda. Why did the third panda fall out of the tree? Because he was dead. Why did the fourth panda fall out of the tree? Peer pressure. -BG_Shank_A

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A black man and a mexican are falling off a cliff. Who lands first? The police officer.

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They say those with anti-humour are the wisest.

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What do you call it when someone walks on another person's head? It depends. Face up, fetish. Face down, hate crime.

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Whats worse then a rainy day? Rape.

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How do you make a baby float? Take your foot of its head.

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Your mother is so fat, she really could stand to lose a few pounds.

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bronson watt walks into a bar.

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It is so hard to write an antijoke.

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into a worm and finding an apple.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Nickelback

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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