What did little Jimmy say when he met God ? Nothing, God doesn't exist.

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the person who wrote 1 under me is gay

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A young farmers cow died in an oil burning, The farmer then said to his son; you get the milk ill get the shovel

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What do you call a Muslim guy on a plane? A passenger.

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whats worse than finding a worm in your penis having your wife bite of your penis and die from an infecction

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Example of a pro gamer: A kid who gets all F's in gradeschool, dosent goto collage, gets fat, dies alone.

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What do you get when you combine a cat and a dog? A Cog

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Fiats

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Potatoes have skin. I have skin. Therefore, I am a potato.

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Is Barack Obama a dentist, a teacher, or the president of the United States? A dentist. He just happens to have the same name as the president.

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A stand-up comedian quits his job. He has social anxiety and can't stand the pressure.

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what did the homeless man get for Christmas? Cancer

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Your friend is so gay that he came out of the closet and was accepted warmly by his friends and family for who he is a human being.

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Q: A blonde walks into a bar. What does she get? A: An icepack.

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A moth walks into a podiatrist's office. The podiatrist says, "Moth, what's the problem?" And the moth says, "What's the problem. Well, doc, where do I begin? Every day I get up to another cruel sky. It's like the sun is mocking me as I begin the gruelling preparations for another 8-hours of slogging in meaningless toil for my boss, Gregor McIvanichisky. A grey self, captive in a grey cubicle in a grey office with no windows that I might see the grey clouds beyond... I just sit in my cubicle as I feel the throbbing ache of the best days of my life being raped away into a monotonous, forgettable slurry of irrelevant corporate drudgery. I don't know what I'm doing, I don't think my boss even knows. All he knows is that he has power over me. And my children...my daughter is always on her cellphone, texting and emailing. I haven't spoken real words to her in weeks. My oldest son is never home and when he is, he's locked in his room listening to angry music. My youngest son, he's only 4, I look at him and he asks me to play... and I feel nothing. No love, no tenderness... just a void. And when I look in the mirror...I don't recognize the face staring back at me. It's aged so much from the boyish looks I remember. The years have carved deep lines of despair, worry and anguish. Dark, hollow eyes where once gleamed hope and excitement. Thin lips unable to find the smile of the happy, old days. If only I could find the courage to reach over to the side table and remove the loaded gun. And then find the strength to pull back that hammer as the chamber rotates, clicking solidly into place...Raising it to my temple for the final squeeze that will erase the last shreds of my existence from this cold grave of a life wasted away." And the podiatrist says, "Well, Moth, you're in pretty rough shape. You need to get some help. But why did you come to me? You need a psychiatrist!!" And the moth says... "Because the light was on."

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What is the best place to get watermelons and fried chicken? A Watermelon grove and a popeyes and/or KFC

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It was nice knowing you Erron, it really was.

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man: so where did you two meet? man tied to flower: in the produce section.

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q. whats worse than finding your girlfriend cheating on you a. the holocaust

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What did Jesus say when he was nailed to the cross? Please, not the nails.

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God Nero, Marry me now! I removed the nose thingie but it wont stop.

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A black man accidentally walks into a white man. They apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

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My penis is small, Just kidding, it's huge.

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what's white, got three legs and you wouldn't expect to find in the rainforest? A fridge on a stool

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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