Why was the boy adopted........ because hes grandad

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One kid says I've had threw bottles of water and I haven't had to go to the bathroom. His friend says may have a urinary tract infection.

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What's worse than Hitler killing six million Jews? All of the Jews. --ZeNaziGermanDoctior

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What's Michael J Fox's favorite toy? While, a magic 8-ball might first appear to be a good guess. Let's be honest, those things really lose their luster after the first couple times. More likely it's something like a sports car or big screen television.

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A pirate walks into a bar with a wheel on his crotch, and the bartender says, "What's that?" and the pirate says, "A deadly tumor."

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How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at it.

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What's the difference between a hundred dead babies and a porsche? A porsche is a car.

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How could Jamie not come out and play? His mum had cancer

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what do you call a seagull that flies over the bay? -a seagull

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what happened to the boy that walked down the street he got hit by a falling street light

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A man walked into a bar. He sustained a mild concussion and a brusied pelvis

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How many Americans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

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You are being like super pervert now, I would never ever even try weed, cocaine is the real deal, you know I do not mean that. Anyway does it work on everyone?

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What did Hitler say to the Jew? I don't know, I don't speak German.

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A boy writes an anti-joke. It is not funny. He sees his friends teasing him about the jokes stupidity. He promptly pokes his eyes out with a dull broom stick. He can still hear his friends mocking him. He cuts his ears off with an industrial meat slicer. He wakes up the next morning and doesnt give a crap about the prior days events. Mainly because he can no longer see or hear.

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One day a young gentleman was walking down the street. He sees a wounded dog laying there on the sidewalk. He goes to tend to the wounded animal. It bites his hand. He rushes to the hospital and tests positive for rabies. The man has to be vaccinated and the dog terminated.

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"Media Zombies" Sounds like the Nero I remember.

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? Well i would imagine one of various names for a domesticated animal and she would choose the name based on her likes towards nature or an element of nature, being the educated individual she i would think she may name it base on a person of importance, such as an author or maybe a writer that inspires her.

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Why did Sam have no friends? He was dead.

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Bra*don Che*ey is tall. Facebook me please... Im desperate

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How do you occupy a blonde for a day ? You put her in a round room and tell her to sit in a corner. ... That or you strap a bomb to her, give her a list of twelve billion things to do, and tell her the bomb will explode if she doesn't do everything on the list.

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two pigs in a bath one says to the other can you pass me the soap..the other replies..do I look like a typewriter!?

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What did the doctor say to his wife? We have grown apart over the years, I want a divorce.

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i went to the bar. soon after i entered the bar i got kicked out. why? becuase i'm seventeen.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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