There was a two car pile up at wal-mart. 50 mexicans were killed.

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Why was the boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his head.

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Lukas: can i have a cigarette? Scott: i dont know can you? lukas: may i? Scott: NO

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How do you know when you're on the wrong side of the tracks? You don't. (Wyndellberg)

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Why do Squirrels accidentally plant millions of trees. Because they bury their nuts and forget where they are.

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Fine, you got me there, I have already made sure that you get your compensation, it is the least thing I can do you let me know if anyone claiming to be part of my order bothers you again, I promise I will personally enforce strict guidelines in order to ensure that such a thing never happens again. I hope you will trust me, I will no longer call it the Order of Nero, but as you know we cannot reveal the true name of our order. I also agree to meet you in person so we can further discuss this impeding situation which I will give top priority. Truth is Nero, that I used to be one of your co workers in the underground, and my attempts at saving what is left might not be as ideal as the goals we are set to achieve are, we simply cannot expect that people excel at greatness at the first go. Of course this grave incident is not even near a "mere lack of greatness" but rather a group of people that yes, sadly have rightfully claimed to be members of our society, yet I need you to come to terms that this was a huge oversight in my vision for a new and "improved" underground society, and not a intentional attack at you and your personal security. I submit to your demands, and I ask that you partake in a small number of meetings where we can all discuss and further develop the necessary guidelines required to further solidify our foundation.

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What did the cow say to the other cow? Moo.

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"Welcome to Mcdonalds, Would you like to try our new Chicken BigMac today?" "No"

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Why did the turtle fall out of the car? It forgot to buckle up

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Did you hear about the one about the man who walked into the library? He likes reading

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ROSES ARE RED VILOIT ARE BLUE MY NAME IS MISIMOA AND I SMELL LIKE POO

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Why does Billy Mays yell? He doesn't, he's dead.

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What do you get when ned puts toast in the toaster? A fucking massive sperm whale.

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Why did the chick cross the road? He didn't. He was attending his father's funeral, who had been killed earlier that week by an oncoming car as he was crossing the road.

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How do you get twenty black men in a tiny car? Saw them into pieces.

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Who, what, when, why, how, where, and which? Your Honor, i think my client would like to plead guilty.

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Q.What's worse than running over a dog on the road? A.9/11

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A cow walks into a bar and says, "moo."

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks: dude, what happened to your eye? The man replies: abuse.

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bunnies are fluffy just like yo mama

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What do you say to two cows? Hey cows.

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how did the horse fall into the river? he sliped

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I farted and it smells like rotten ham with melted cottage cheese now dislike this please.

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A duck walks ino a bar...... f*ck this sh*t im going to candy land.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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