What's big and green and would probably kill you if it fell out of a tree? A pool table.

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What do black people do with M&Ms? They eat them.

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What did michael J. Fox say when someone asked him to play catch? "sorry, I'm busy".

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Roses are red Violets are blue I would love you But you are too ugly and overweight

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Knock knock. Who's there? John. John who? John. John Anderson. Dude we've been friends since first grade! You really don't remember me? I'm going home!

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Paper or plastic? Yes...

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What did the girl say when she was getting raped? "Stop, you're hurting me."

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do you want to hear a joke?

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call me maybe.

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What's blue and has two windows ? The sky, i lied about the windows.

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What do you call a woman with one leg shorter than the other? Whatever her name is.

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What did the elephant say to the whale? Nothing, neither can talk and they live in very different biomes.

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What's black and white, and red all over? Nothing, those two events are mutually exclusive of each other.

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Knock knock Who's there Guess who? Billy, is that you? Yeah baby I'm home! OMG!!!

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Why doesn't Michael Jackson sleep with boys anymore? -Because he is dead.

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The man goes to the doctor after just losing his job because his company went under because of the econmic crisis. His house is being foreclosed because without the money from his job he can't afford to pay for his house. His girlfriend also just left him because of recent conflicts about money issues and how she wanted a family and with him jobless it was just out of the question. Man: "Doctor I could really use some good news" Doctor: "You have aids"

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Chuck Norris once stared in a show called Walker: Texas Ranger.

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Yo mama is so hot that she needed to lower the temperature

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Q.How do you wake up Lady Gaga? A.You don't. You kill her.

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Why'd the bird in Ohio fall out of its nest? There was a squirrel that was eaten by a large eagle. The eagle then flew to Ohio and died. Then, a large dog grabbed the Eagles corpse and brought it to his owner. The owner then decided to have it for dinner. Inside the eagle, he found the squirrels bones. He put the bones in a catapult, and sent them flying. The bones hit a car and the car slipped off the road and into a river. Then, a whale put the car on its back and swam to the shore. At the shore, the whale got stranded and sadly died. Crabs surrounded the whale and ate it. One crab then ran away and up a tree. It found a stapler and a rubber dinosaur mask and gave it to a chipmunk. The chipmunk climbed up the tree, stapled nuts into the birds eyes and stapled the rubber dinosaur mask to its face, the bird got scared, and then all of the sudden the chipmunk stapled itself to the birds back. The birds family then came and shoved the two out of the tree because they hated chipmunks, and their son Timmy the bird was a disappointment. The bird and the chipmunk fell and died. That is why the bird fell.

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What is the difference between a bench and a mexican? the bench is an object

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Q: What's big, yellow and can't swim? A: A school bus full of children.

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why did the baby cross the road? it was stapled to the chicken

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how do you fix a family? Someone gives in

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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