Why didn't the boomerang return? It hit a baby

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What do u call a short Mexican Nothing that's normal

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What do an Eagle and a sugar cube have in common? The fact that if let to disintegrate they both turn slowly to hydrogen after a period of time.

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Why is Pawn Stars the best show on the History Channel? Because Pawn Stars is the only show on the History Channel.

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Roses are red, violets are violet. I'm not stupid.

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Your mama is so....well we've been friends since childhood and I know your mother passed away recently. So, as to refrain from being an insensitive jerk to a good friend. I will tell this joke to someone with a mother who is fat, dumb, lazy, ugly, or has a combination of these traits. Or has none of these and happens to be a nice lady with a son/daughter who just enjoys a good mama joke.

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Hey! You wanna' hear a joke? Black Freedom

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What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm What is worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Finding chuck norris Whats worse than finding your girlfriend has a bigger Slong than you? Getting raped with a cheese grater. Whats worse than all of these? Being black Sadly im black :( -Jordan M

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Shaving your balls is just plain nuts!

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Why did the man have an extremely large nose? It just so happens that both his father and mother had large noses as well and nature took it's course.

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How do you make Lady Gaga sad? You kill her family.

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A man and a friend are playing golf one day. One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course. He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down in prayer. His friend says: "Wow! That is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You are truly a kind man." The other man replies, "Yeah, well, we were married 35 years."

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How could they tell Michael Jackson was dead? He showed no vital signs.

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ask me if I'm a tree.. are you a tree? no.

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Why are black guys good at basketball? Hard work and determination.

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If life gives you lemons, you can't really make anything because you lack the proper materials.

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Why did the 100 year old man die? He was really old and his heart stopped beating after his BLT.

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What does the kitty say to his owner? you've CAT to KITTEN right MEOW

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What do you get with two banana peels? Compost.

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Where do you find a baby with no arms or legs? Where you left it.

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How many software professionals does it take to get a file committed to source control? Well, today it took five.

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2 muffins are in a oven for 30 minutes, the baker then questions why he only baked 2 muffins.

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A duck walked up to the lemonade stand And he said to the man running the stand: QUACK!

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What do you get when you cross a bus full of cancer patients and a train full of children? A very sad train accident.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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