What happened when a saxophone hit Sally? She had a concussion.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did Bert go to the doctor? He had an appointment.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Why did the guy throw a clock out his window? Because he was mentally unstable and needs help.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

once you go Persian, there is no other alternative

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A blind man walks into a bar. He had a few drinks then went home.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Why did Chuck Norris fall of the cliff? Because he was pushed.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

In 1284, while the town of Hamelin was suffering from a rat infestation, a man dressed in pied clothing appeared, claiming to be a rat-catcher. He loyally promised the townsmen a solution for their problem with the rats. The townsmen in appreciation and glad to get rid of the infestation promised to pay him for the removal of the rats, they were looking forward to being left in peace. The man pleased with their decision accepted, and played a mystical musical pipe to lure the rats with a joyous song into the Weser River, where all but one drowned. Despite his renowned success, the people reneged on their promise and refused to pay the rat-catcher the full amount of money. The man left the town angry and upset the people had betrayed his kindness, he did however vow to return some time later, seeking revenge. On Saint John and Paul's day while the inhabitants were happily sat in church, he played his pipe yet again, dressed in green, like a hunter, this time attracting the young and joyful children of Hamelin. One hundred and thirty boys and girls followed him out of the town, skipping in song as they went, where they were lured into a cave. The events that followed are now known as the 1284 mass child massacrer, in which all 130 children were raped and savagely tortured and killed one by one, each viscously taped and recorded for the pipe pipers satisfaction, where a copy of each tape was sent to their corresponding parents, this was before their bodies turned up dangling from a tree and the bottom of the village, all 130 of them unrecognisable from decomposition and mutilation the pipe piper had inflicted.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Kevin was very nervous going into his job interview. So he pretended he was a salad and ate himself.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Suicide isn't the answer, it's just the solution. -by Ross

thumb_up thumb_down -21

You know whats retarted? people with down syndrome.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Why did annie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms! Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Annie!

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the Jew pick up the penny? Because he dropped it

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What does water taste like? Water

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was black.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

What has ears, but can't hear, eyes, but can't see, a mouth, but can't talk, and legs, but can't walk? A deaf and blind paraplegic with an improperly functioning larynx.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Knock knock, Knock knock jokes aren't funny.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What did the woman say to the dog? Stop shitting on my carpet your dickhole

thumb_up thumb_down -30

roses are red violets are blue some poems make sense banana monkey glue

thumb_up thumb_down +15

what is the diference between a jew and a boy scout. a boy scout comes home from camp.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

GLaDOS: So... this cat loves lasagna so much that he eats all of the lasagna in his house. Okay, apparently it's not the cat's house or his lasagna. Oh good! The man who owns the lasagna is furious! GLaDOS: The end. GLaDOS: The end? GLaDOS: That's not funny. GLaDOS: Do either of you feel like laughing? GLaDOS: Alright, I'm pulling you out. GLaDOS: Welcome back. While you were dead, I reworked the cartoon. It's up on the screen. GLaDOS: As you can see, in my version the man points out to the cat that the house is equipped with deadly neurotoxin dispensers. GLaDOS: At which point the cat reflects on the time he ate all of the man's lasagna and feels remorse. GLaDOS: Briefly. GLaDOS: Reactions? GLaDOS: Yes, it's funny because most of it actually happened.

thumb_up thumb_down +51

Yo mama's so poor that she's living in poverty.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Peaches eat leaches, that is why sneaches live on beaches.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Jane asked her husband why he was crying, he replied "Because i have extremely agressive cancer" hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.....Cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -14

The answer: He is dead! (read it throughout so you cant go wrong) Question: So why cant a man in Italia marry his widows sister? Moral: Had yet to read one like this one...

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops