What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? A mechanical wheelchair.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. It was a footless chicken.

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Q:Why did Jimmy eat an apple? A:He was hungry.

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What do you call a Colombian who sells drugs? A pharmacist.

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have you heard of the new german microwave? it seats about 30

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An old man walks into a bar. He suffered greater injury than a younger man due to his advanced age and deteriorating health. But he did eventually recover by strictly adhering to his doctor's advice of bed rest, improved diet, and increased, yet moderate, aerobic exercise.

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What do you get if you put a baby in a blender? An Erection

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Knock Knock Who's there? Immigration. You're headed back to mexico.

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A man walks into a bar, and the bartender asks "What'll you have?" The man replies "Surprise me." The bartender proceeds to mix cyanide with the mans drink and loses his bartending license and goes to prison for murdering a customer.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? At age two, she contracted an illness that left her blind, deaf, unable to speak, and was considered backwards of intelligence. She lived in a dark and hopeless world of her own, rendering her unable to do anything, let alone drive.

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Bridget, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and since it is rather long, it brushes against her round breasts. Even though she is a little sweaty, you realize what a beautiful woman she is, and you decide not to kill here. You instead ask her to marry you, and after she replies "yes", with tears of joy streaming down her face, you two make passionate love in the front seat of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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What's grey got white stripes and can't climb trees? Car park.

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Man is hit by a falling tree his friend immediately responds "Got Wood" the man is now paraplegic

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Knock Knock Who's there? Your mum, I've just raped her

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven is black.

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why did the boy get hit by a bus because he dropped his ice cream

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Yo mom is so stinky that when she gets in a room every one leaves the room

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What's the difference between my car and a pile of dead babies? You can't eat my car.

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What is white and smells like wood? White painted wood

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A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender asks "Why the long face?" The horse, incapable of understanding the human language promptly shits on the floor then leaves.

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What's worse than finding a worm inside your apple? The Holocaust

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why did the teacher say that the student did well in class? because the student did well in class

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Why was six afraid of seven? Back when seven was in Vietnam, he sufferd Posttraumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and constantly has flash backs and irrational thoughts of six being with the veitnamese alliance and tries to viciously molest six whenever he runs out of anxiety medication.

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What makes us laugh? Definitely not this joke!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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