An old man walks across the street. Several cars start to honk in irritation, for they are in a hurry and the man is walking quite sluggishly.

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A Brunette, a Redhead and a Blond all jump off a cliff, which one will hit the ground last? Since the acceleration of gravity is 9.8 m/s they will all hit the ground simultaneously and with enough force to completly shatter their bodys making body recovery extreemly difficult. They must have had a hard life.

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What did the southern uncle say to his nephew when he woke up? Good morning, son.

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What do you call a deer with no eye? No eye deer ( get it, it's like the red, necked southern speaking states )

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How do you catch an elephant? Dig a nice deep hole in the ground, and fill it with ashes. Next, line the outside of the hole with peas. When the elephant comes to take a pea, kick it in the ash hole.

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why did the woman call the police? because there was a murderer pointing a gun at her at her son.

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3 dogs, a blue dog, a yellow dog, and a red dog. The owner was a man named Jeff. Now the blue dog was always sad so Jeff named him blue. The yellow dog was always scared so Jeff named him yellow. Now the red dog he was red because he had red fur, so Jeff named him red. One day when Jeff was reading his newspaper, he accidentally hit his coffee and it fell on the floor. Question: What did Jeff do? I don't know.

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What's green and goes "Kablowie!"? Probably nothing.

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Q: Whats A Schoolbus Full Of Black Children??? A: A Rotten Banana!!!

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Pete and Repete are sitting on a fence. Pete falls off. Pete suffers from a scraped knee and a bruised tailbone.

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Whats the difference between a frog?

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why did the chicken cross the road? I dont know, you ask it.

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suzy took a bath with bubbles what?......... I'm sure bubbles is a nice guy

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pady irish man paddy english man and paddy african man go on a magic slide wat ever you say will be at the bottem paddy irish man said gold paddy english man silver paddy african man almost fell off so he said shit buthalf way down he thought it was fun so he said wee

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what's your favorite soccer team? liverpool

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what's the easiest way to tell time? a clock

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After tesco's horse burgers, what's next? My lidl pony

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What did Aladin say to Mulan? Nothing. Although they are both Disney characters, they never appear in the same film, and therefore never communicate.

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Why was the Indian at the casino? He had a gambling addiction.

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What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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Your mom is so fat that she has to wear larger clothes than the average person.

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Knock, Knock. Come in!

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What happend to the dude who couldnt fart He blew up

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Roses are red my name is dave this poem makes no bloody sense microwave

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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