What do you call a bookstore with explosive offers? Barnes and Cher-Noble.

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The neighbours challenged me to a water fight so I am updating Anti jokes while i let the kettle boil.

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Why did Todd have intimacy problems? He was molested as a child.

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What did the rabbi say at the party? Mazel Tov.

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Why was Osama Bin Laden killed? Because he couldn't dodge all the bullets in time

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why did the farmer cry after a phone call? he just found out his wife just died of lung cancer

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What ever happened to Sally? We don't know she went missing over 5 years ago.

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whats 2+2? 69 LOL

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your mother's head is so big that she wears very big hats.

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Friend: What do you call a farting dog? Me: A canine releasing built up pressure as a result of excess carbon-based gases produced by the synthesizing and decompositional digestive reactions in the stomach and intestines. Friend: ... Who is a nerd, pointless, has no social life, and cant take a joke? Me: No one. No one but you is that exceptionally lacking in character.

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What did the boy do when he was bored and broke? He took to the streets selling illicit drugs such as cocaine. Although dangerous, the rush from said danger solved his boredom problem. On top of this, there is a huge market for such substances and he was not broke for much longer.

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Why cant Sally ride her bike? Because she has ceribal pausly

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"Torture the orphans as much as you want. Who they gonna tell? Their parents?"

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why did the mexican cross the road? To get into America. Why did the chicken cross the road? It was on its way to warn everyone that the sky was falling Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass. Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? cause he's Chuck Norris. What do you call a man who gets a check in the mail every month for nothing? black

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They see me rollin' They hatin' Patrolin they try to catch write a joke Try to catch me write a joke Try to catch me write a joke (tootle loo, I see you ;)

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Knock-knock who's there? interrupting cow interupting cow who? moo.

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The big problem with politicians is they're always lying but fortunately there's always a moment when it's not a problem anymore. When they do it down in their tombs.

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Why was Adam sad? His wife found him cheating with several women which led to a lengthy and messy divorce and him losing custody of his two children and his house.

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Why is Michael Jackson bad at checkers? Cause he's dead.

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What happened when the chicken got to the other side of the road? It didn't, it got hit by a car.

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What makes Stephen Hawking such a lame scientist??? A: he has a disabling disease. It's called ALS.

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Little Timmy walked up to the teacher and asked her "Can i go to the restroom?" The teacher said " I don't know, CAN you ?" Little Timmy said "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

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What's fat, gay, and ugly. A fat, gay, and ugly guy.

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Why couldn't Simon run? Because he had Cerebral Palsy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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