Chuck Norris doesnt eat honey, hes allergic to it.

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My aunt said slow and steady wins the race, she died in a fire.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Jimmy comes home from school one day and goes to his mother. "Mommy, guess what?" "What?" "I had sex with my teacher today!" Naturally after hearing such news the mother gets appalled and tells her husband. "Well, that's my boy" he says "Now that your a man Jimmy we're going to go out and get some drinks tonight be ready in a half an hour." So they arrive at the local bar "Wait here son, you can sit down and save us a table and I'll go get the drinks ok?" "No dad I think I'll stand" "..why? What's the matter son?" "My butt hurts"

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Knock Knock. There was no answer.

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Knock knock Who's there ... Hello? Is there anyone there? (In the bushes) Ha! He'll never suspect us!

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What do you get when you cross Arsene Wenger with Darth Vader? Arsene Vader

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream cone? He got hit by a bus. Why did the bus crash? It hit a boy eating an ice cream cone.

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Dani Barton is a heart breaking 13 yr old.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? No one knows because humans do not have the capability of accessing the chickens brain to receive their knowledge and what they were thinking about in the past.

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what did the scientist say in Siberia? burrrrrrrrrrilium

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what happened when 3 had sex with 4? nothing numbers are not capable of sexual intercourse

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Today we eat large amounts of pizza. The one piece had a lot of mushrooms. Like more than the other pieces. The cheese was flawless except for the burnt edges.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks "why the long mane?"

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obama's promises

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I see said the blind man, to his deaf wife, as the cripple ran by.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Peer pressure

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What did the trucker say when his hat blew out the window? "**** my hat!" What did the teenager say when the same thing happened to him in his small car? The same thing, except he was a teenager, driving a small car.

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haha look at that guys shirt! what's wrong with it? i don't know.. nothing i guess

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Two farmers are standing in a field. One says: "It's a bit cold today, don't you think?" The other doesn't reply, because he is trying to work out how to tell the first farmer that his son has just been killed in a road accident.

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Q: What's worse than being raped by a giant scorpion? Getting raped by 2 giant scorpions, a fridge, some potatoes and a hule bunch of worms.

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What do you call a guy with no arms? Names.

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Q: what's green and has wheels? A: a john deere tractor

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Roses are red violets are blue your dads got hair what happened to you

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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