what did the super popular, beautiful girl say to her stalker? i dont know, i wasnt the stalker.

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What if your name was Mr. David and the office called you down and you were wearing a dress?

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want a balloon? yeah

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A woman went outside for some fresh air.

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What has four legs one head but only one foot? A dog that was born with physical deformities.

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roses are red, violets are blue, hey reed and steven, we should hang out

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what did bob say to joey, nothing joey's dead

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You have 6 basketballs. One rolls away. How many do you have? None because your family has a low income, lives in a broken down trailer, and has 5 other kids to supply for.

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A man walked into a bar. It hurt.

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What's small, furry and looks like a mouse? Most probably a mouse but given the large number of mammals with similar appearances to a mouse it could easily be a shrew, vole or even a rat if you don't know your rodents very well.

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What was the dying boy's last wish? Not to die.

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Why couldn't Bob pick up his pen? Because a nuclear bomb just set off where he lives and it incinerated everything.

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what did one pedophile say to the other at the playground? DIBZ!!!

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Why does Jeremy Kyle love his job? Because he gets to make idiots look like bigger idiots.

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Three men walk into a bar. Neither of them saw it coming

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What did the Atheist say in the church? His best friend's eulogy.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I have no idea, and neither does the chicken, for chickens do not possess the ability to reason.

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What sits on a shelf and says hey im a book? A person who thinks hes a book.

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Q: Why did the man cross the road? A: Cause he felt like it.

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How do you find the richest person in Mexico? You get the census of income per citizen and see who is at the top.

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Arab 1: Du good bai me, and I'll du good bai you. Arab 2: Ye men, sounds good men. Arab 3: O man, no way. Arab 4: K, u wait...jus wait n see.. Arab 5: I no interest! Me so saudi! Arab 6: D'oh...ha, ha, haa! Arab 7: This is so bahrain...I'm going to go club some protesters.

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What do you call a black man in space An astronaut

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Opinions are like assholes. I'm not sure how they are alike, but that seems to be the general consensus.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was blind and deaf.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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