Q: What's blue and yellow all over? A: A baby at the bottom of the pool with a slashed floatie. Q: What's red and yellow all over? A: A floatie at the top of a pool with a slashed baby.

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Your mother is so succsessfull that she can have any job she wants, she is probally going to stick with her current job though, She is a lawyer.

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why was the asian kid the only one to get an A+ in the test? He spent the longest time studying and was therefore better prepared than the other students.

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Q:What does a black guy say when you steal his fried chicken right in front of him? A:"please restrain from taking food that does not belong to you. If you had kindly asked i would have kindly given you some, and right in front of me too! In all my life I've never seen such rudeness and i grew up in the Bronx."

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Boy: what to hear a joke? girl: sure. Boy: woman rights.

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JFK

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A. Knock-knock. B. Who's there? A. Hey, your doorbell's broken.

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Q. How much wood can a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? A. Actually woodchucks can't chuck wood only beavers can

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Why didn't the monkey cross the road? He saw the chicken get run over.

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What's red and looks like a bucket? A red bucket. What's blue and looks like a bucket? A red bucket in disguise.

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If George Washington was the first president, and Barack Obama is the latest, how old is my grandma?

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Whats Brown and sticky... Shit

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An Irishman walks into a bar. He orders whiskey. An American enters the same bar. He orders a beer. A blonde Frenchwoman enters the same bar. She says "Gimme whatever the Irisman ordered! Double it! He's cool!" She started talking to the American

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im jewish

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Boy: Mum... I got a hundred marks! Mother: That's good my son! Which subject was it? Boy: 30 for maths, 40 for english, and 30 for science.

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sometimes i put my hands on the floor tuck my head into my cheat and lean forward... because thats how i roll

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Mommy, why did daddy leave? Because you touch yourself at night sweetie.

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A woman goes to the doctor.....She has terminal cancer.

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Three men walk into a gay bar, and have a great time because they're all of consensual age and brought condoms for safe sex.

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Rick Santorum 2012

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What did the snowman say when winter was ending? -Nothing you dumbass

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I'm a poet and I just didn't realise

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A skeleton walks into a bar and orders a beer and a mop.

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Chuck Norris walks into a bar. somebody recognizes him and immidiately asks for his autograph

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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