Why did the boy drop his ice cream ? He got hit by a bus !

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Why did my car stop suddenly? I had arrived at my appropriate destination.

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Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everywhere. - Blake Woodman

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? He was perfectly happy where he was.

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whats silver and cries? a coin, although it can't cry because its a coin. So it's just silver

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There was a girl who was allergic to peanuts she ate peanuts and died the next day. She got hit by a bus.

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what's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a trampoline? obviously quite a lot due to the fact that they are two completely different ideas with little to no relation to each other.

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How do you get a drummer off your doorstep? Ask politely.

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What’s worse than taking a bite out of your apple and finding a worm? Taking a bite out of your apple and finding half a worm.

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An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

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What do you do when you see four black people and a Jew? You buy them

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What's more absurd than a goldfish astronaut? A jew that cares about palestinians

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Why did the black guy drink the kool aid? Because there was a glass of kool aid next to him and he was thirsty.

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A man walks into his local store, he gets a basket and get a tin of beans, an apple, some kitchen rolls a bag of potatoes and an 8 pack of sausages. He walks to the checkout and the lady working asks him ''Are you single?'' He replies ''Yes, i am actually, how did you know?'' The lady then says ''Because your Ugly as Sin''

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Dear Sarah, My name is Jesse, and I am severely overweight. BOUNCE ON MY DICK LIKE TYGA BITCH, Your lover, Jesse.

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wanna no wats not funny........ aids

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what's bloody and sweet? A squashed mosquito sprinkled with sugar.

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i look around to find that my air head is missing, i then figure out that i had eaten it.

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Two Drunks walk out of a bar. They look down an alley and see a dog licking his balls. The first drunk says" Man, I wish I could do that." The second guy replies " Well you better pet him first."

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What are pirate movies rated ? P.g 13 for violence and coarse language.

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a guy walks into the bedroom with a duck in his arms, his wife is in bed half nakid. he then coments out loud this is the pig im f**king. his wife says huny your holding a duck. then he with a serious look on his face says im sory i wasent talking to you

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Two cows in a field. One said, "Moo!" the other said, "Shit! i was going to say that."

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What happened to the man who jumped off a plane while riding a donkey? He died.

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Which came first, the chicken or the egg? Neither, many scientists believe that the first living organisms on Earth were single-celled, prokaryotic bacteria.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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