You know what you can do with your offer to 'help'? Await another opportunity please I appreciate it much.

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Why didn't little billy have any friends? Billy bought a rifle, and shot everyone he had ever seen or talked to, even his family. Billy then tripped on his walk home and fell off a bridge, and into the ocean. Then a shark came and swallowed him. That is why you should never kill your friends and family because it will come back and bite you. Don't be like billy

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yo mama's so fat, yo mama's so ugly; your mothers breasts sag with such severity that the late great surrealist artist Salvador Dali mistook them for clocks

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Roses are grey Violets are grey I'm a dog

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"Hey look, mommy! I'm a whale!" (child proceeds to pull a shotgun and create a blowhole in his head)

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Why can't black people swim? Many of them can. It's racist to assume that.

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How do you fit 500 babies into a phone booth? With a blender. How do you get them out? Nachos (make a dipping and snacking motion).

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What do you call a mexican sleeping in a car tired.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning sorted by their relative IPA chartings, to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

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Why did the man get in a car accident? Because he was blind.

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What comes after 7? Pedophiles.

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Yo' momma is like a hardware store, 25 cents for a screw!

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knock, knock Sho'sthere? Sam who? Sam Butt

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Joke below was made by Daniel Textor, he's a d i c k.

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Why did the blonde get fired from the m&m factory because she kept throwing away the w's

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What did the business man say to the homeless person? Get a job

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An irish man calls a black man a nigger. The offended black man then proceeds to ravenously beat the Irish man's head into a nearby curb.

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Why was a white man surrounded by black men crying? He was in a support group for black men with vitiligo, which destroys skin pigments.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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how do you make a plumber sad? tell him to pull up his pants

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I went to work Got paid, Then came home.

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Two men walk into a bar, the third one ducks.

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Hey I just met you I'm on bathsalts your face looks tasty

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How many fingers am i holding up? none, my hand got blown off in Vietnam

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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