Why didnt the homeless man eat the cheese? Because he died right before he ate it. :-(

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There are three types of people in this world: The stupid. And the ones that can't count.

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How do you confuse an idiot? By confusing an idiot.

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What's blue paint and smells like red paint? Paints

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Why is an elephant large, grey and wrinkled? Because if it was small, round and smooth it would be an aspirin.

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A jew, a black, and a gay are walking together. The black points out a new house.

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Why was the lady afraid of cooking? Because her husband always beat her with a frying pan

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What's round and orangey? An orange.

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How do you talk to a mentally challenged person? You use words in a sequential order that would make sense grammatically

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Knock Knock It's the police, im afraid your wife has been killed in a horrible car accident.

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Where was the Decoration Of Independence Signed? At the bottom.

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--IT'S PEANUT BUTTER JELLY TIME!! --no it isn't. a clock only has numbers 1-12 for hours and 1-60 for minutes. "peanut butter jelly" is not in any of those number sets. what are you taking about?

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How do you fit an elephant inside your car?: Starve it to death, then chop it in pieces.

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Where did the did the Islamic person fly the jet to? Ben Gurion International Airport located in Israel

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How did the guy who's been in his mothers basement for 20 years lose his virginity? He didn't, that's where his mother hid his body.

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? He died! Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was attached to the first! Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? He thought it was a game! Why did the fridge fall out of the tree? The branch broke! Why did Sally fall off her bike? She got hit by three monkeys and a fridge!

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3 black guys walk into a restaurant and they sat down, ate their meals, and even tipped the waitor handsomely then for about 10 minutes they talk and then leave restaurant. Soon after a white guy comes and holds up the place for all it's money then killing three hostages before being taken down by the police.

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How do you put a baby in a blender? Feet first, so you can see its expression. How do you get a baby out of a blender? With chips.

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What did the black guy say to the slave driver. Nothing, slavery no longer exists.

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There is a newly wed couple, a biker and his biker lady friends. The newly wed man says to his wife, "Pass the honey, honey". One of the biker chicks looks over. Five minutes later the man says to his wife, "Pass the sugar, sugar". They biker chick looks back at them and then asks the biker man, "Why don't you treat us like that?" " You know your right. Pass the bacon... lovely". And from that day on the bikers lived in peace and harmony.

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Q: Why is 8 afraid of 9? A:Because 9 killed 8's family

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There once was a man from Nantucket who lost most of his savings by making bad investment decisions.

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Why did the black man get laid off? His company was no longer doing well and he was not needed.

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yesterday i saw a man walking down the street with no legs. just kidding.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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