A boy writes an anti-joke. It is not funny. He sees his friends teasing him about the jokes stupidity. He promptly pokes his eyes out with a dull broom stick. He can still hear his friends mocking him. He cuts his ears off with an industrial meat slicer. He wakes up the next morning and doesnt give a crap about the prior days events. Mainly because he can no longer see or hear.

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What did the kid with no arms and no legs get for Christmas. A pool.

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What's big, black, and impossible to swallow? A parking lot. Among many other things.

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What do you call a black person who flies a plane? A pilot, racist.

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A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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i dont know why but when ever i see jew they always say "whats up?"

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what do you call a pie in a roll a roll and pie

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What's worse than a bruise in your knee? A bruise in your other knee. And what is worse than that? The Holocaust. And what is worse than that? A second Holocaust, much bigger, with much more casualties.

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Why did the police officer decide to eat a donut? Because he was slightly hungry, but a meal seemed too much for him.

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What disease did Harry Styles get? 1Infection! (if you don't know, Harry Styles is 1direction's manager)

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What did Sammy get for Christmas? Raped.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is dead.

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What do you call an arab with a shemagh on his head and a gun A man who is concerned for his wellbeing and family

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Roses are red Violets are blue Sunflowers are yellow And daisies can be a wide variety of colours.

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What did the Nazi say to the farmer? Sie sind Juden versteckt

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What is the pirate's favorite letter? Z.

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Forgiveness is what weaklings beg for, while redemption is what the strong succeed at.

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a dog walks into a drug store and orders a bone. what does the cashier do? she wakes up.

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Why do blondes where pigtails? Because they look nice.

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why did the man move away from me because he thought that i had crabs as pets

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Jesus. Jesus who? You're going to hell.

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A man sees another man standing at the edge of a tall bridge looking down. Man: Don't jump! No one wants you to die. You have your whole life to live and I'm sure you will find happiness somewhere. I was once in the same position as you, questioning if god really wanted me on this earth at all. But I decided to make something of myself and now I am a very successful business man. You can do the same if you just put your mind to it and put your troubles behind you. Other man: I was just admiring the view.

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A horse walks into a bar and Shits John Taffer is Pissed

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What do you call an owl that is a magician too? Owls cannot be magician you retard.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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