What's blue and looks like water? Yes.

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what goes in hard, comes out soft, and you blow on it? bubble gum!

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A man walks into a Scottish bar and sits down. Another man sitting at the end of the bar recognizes him and says "Hello, I've heard of you, I must ask, how did you get your name?" He replies, "You see that wall out there, protecting the town? I built it with me own 2 hands, so they call me Jon the Wallbuilder.

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Why couldn't the college student get on the internet? He can't afford a computer.

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A man walks into a bar gets drunk passes out then goes to rehab because he has a problem

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What does a bug do in a telephone booth? Eats yogurt.

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What do you call a prostitute with morals? Ironic.

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what is black and white and read all over? a bankrupt newspaper that cannot afford color ink because the accountant misplaced company funds.

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what has wheels and is red. A heart, i lied about the wheels.

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How do you spell eight? 8

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whats silver and cries? a coin, although it can't cry because its a coin. So it's just silver

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How did the person die? He got hit by a car.

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Knock Knock F*ck of I'm watching p0rn

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A ham sandwich walks into a bar, bartender says "We don't serve food here."

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Nazi Nazi who? I am the mailman. I nazi your mailbox. Can I leave the letters on the front porch?

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A boy goes into a Bakery and asks for a loaf of bread, the baker asks him if he wants a white loaf or a Wholemeal loaf, the boy replies, "it doesn't matter i have my bike outside"

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A man walks into bar. Which is no surprise as he'd been drinking heavily and his spacial awareness was poor at the best of times.

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What did the doctor tell his patient? Unfortunately you have cancer.

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You know its time to leave when she wake's up out of her coma and your balls are on her chin.

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What do you do if Zombies are chasing you and your friend? Trip the friend.

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What's the difference between Marvin Gay and George Straight. They are two different people

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If a tree falls in the woods does it make a sound? No, the impact of the colliding objects being the tree and the ground causes a disturbance in the silence thus causing a sound. The tree gets too much credit.

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my girlfriend keeps calling me a pedophile, thats a big word for a 3 year old

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What did the priest say to the kid? You can tell your dog but nobody else, ok?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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