roses are red, windows are clear, get off your ass and bring me a beer

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did u here bout the guy who found 500 dollars on the ground? yup he is 500 dollars richer

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knock knock! who is there? its knock! knock who??? knock knock... who is there.... i told you its knock... knock who??? knock knock... WHO IS THERE!! OMG I TOLD YOU ITS KNOCK! KNOCK WHO!! WHO IS KNOCK! KNOCK KNOCK OMG WTF! HOLY SHIT WHO IS THERE! ITS KNOCK WE HAVE KNOWN EACH OTHER OUR WHOLE LIVES! KNOCK WHO?? KNOCK KNOCK WHY DONT YOU REMEMBER ME! oh knock knock from next door! who is there???? jk.. knock...knock......omg put down the gun knock knock stop i love you knock its not worth it!! NO KNOC!!! GUNSHOT* KNOCK NOOOOO!!! I LOVED YOU SOMEONE CALL 911!! OMG KNOCK WHY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OH KNOCK WHY!!!!

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

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Who created Apple? Steve jobs.

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why do they sparkle?!?!?!?!

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What do animals eat at the beach? Sandwitches

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A terrorist walks into a bomb shop. He soon realizes he's in the wrong shop, leaves and goes on with his day.

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What is black and blue, with nothing to do? The prostitute in my basement.

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What happened to the village that got swept by a tsunami? It was destroyed.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? I don't know.

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Why was the black man tangled in chains at the bottom of the ocean? Because he was a highly skilled diver and environmentalist who tragically entangled himself and consequently died slowly and painfully of suffocation while trying to save a whale from eating waste metal.

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What has two legs and two arms? A Human

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Who can make 50 iPads in 1 hour? An Asian

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how do u wake kesha up? Answer:set her alarm clock to a reasonable time

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What did the doctor say to his patient? Doctors are not allowed to give out personal information involving their patients.

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a skinny sumo wrestler

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People tell me im insane. Its all a conspiracy.

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Why is evan a lil poop? cause he pooped my poop all the pooping ;)

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Nobody cares.

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how many large people can you fit in a bath tub ... 1/16

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Compton

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what did the blond do after she turned 18? Reelected Obama.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was a homicidal maniac.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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