why didn't the boy get his soda Because the cashier shot him

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What would Michael Jackson do on the Moon? Nothing. He's dead.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Q: What does the fox say? A: Nothing. Foxes cannot talk.

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A man walked into a bar, he was meeting his friends but was half an hour early, so he went down the road and got a burger. He had recently began dieting to maintain a healthy weight, but had trouble with self control. 30 years later he would gamble away his family's life savings and then go onto live a long and unfulfilled life.

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My dad said that if I post anymore jokes on this website, the will hit my head against the keyboaaskdnaji;nsd;asdnasd;

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An Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman were stuck on a desert island, because they were touring investment property islands off the coast of Dubai and their boat had engine trouble. They were eventually picked up in a helicopter.

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elen degeneres is straight....

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MILEY CYRUS: ONLY GOD CAN JUDGE ME! ME: O GOD CALLED HE SAID YOUR A HOE TO

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What doesn't kill you makes you...... A paraplegic

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Why isn't pluto a planet anymore? Nasa decided it was too small

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Why couldnt the old man ski? There was no snow.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock? -Who's there? Not the girl.

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The king has three daughters. One day, one of the daughters comes into his room and asks, "Father, why is my name Rose?" King replies,"well, a rose petal fell on your head when you were a baby." The next day, the second daughter comes into his room and asks,"Father, why is my name Tulip?" the king replies,"A tulip fell on your head when you were a bay." On the next day, the final daughter comes in and says, "BLAJSFUAGHASRAKKKKKK." The king says,"Shut up, Cinderblock."

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Your mama's teeth are so yellow, she decided to invest in a teeth whitening procedure and begin a healthier dental hygiene regimen.

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A family of black people get onto a plane. The son said to his father: "Why do planes have wings?" The father then replied by saying: "To help them fly son." The plane's wing then fell off due to a building error, then the plane crashed and everyone on board was killed.

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Guess what.. chicken butt

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How would you rule?

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What's funny? Women's rights.

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When life gives you lemons you mix them with vinegar to make a drink that will help your high blood pressure.

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What did the little boy say to his cat? Masturbate on my moms corpse.

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Why did the German Constitutional Court issue Decision 2 BvR 1390/12 on September 12, 2012? Because they wanted to refuse the request for a temporary injunction in regards to the European Stability Mechanism!

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Roses are red Violets are blue Flesh is green When the dead start to rise you're on my team

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A man walks into a bar carrying a piece of asphalt under his arm. The bartender says, "We don't serve construction workers here."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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