While on a business trip, a Jim got a call on his cell phone. It was his best friend. He was informing Jim of his wife's death in a terrible train crash. She didn't die on impact, but her legs were cut off by metal debris from the train car in front of her. She fought against the pain and used a shirt she found from a dead body to stop the bleeding. She managed to drag herself to the nearest road crossing, where someone drove her to the hospital. Despite her efforts to survive and the surgeons efforts to save her, she died that night as a result of excessive blood loss. After he hung up, Jim turned up the ringer volume on his phone because he couldn't hear it very well when it rang.

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What kind of cheese is not you cheese? Not your cheese.

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How do you get into USA from mexico? Climb a fence

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What did the oboe say to the trombone? SQUEEEEEEK

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Whats better than having 5 dollars? Having 5 dollars and a pizza

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas?? - Cancer

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Q) What's worse than getting dumped by text? A) Getting hit by a fridge.

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9/11

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't

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the comment about daniel was fron brock

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why did the grandpa drop his big mak??? Because an army tank hit him

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Q: What is worse than bitting in to an apple and finding a worm? A: Bitting in to a worm and finding an apple.

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Why was the boy hot? Because he was stuck in an oven.

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What's worse than being caught in a downpour? Having your kneecaps ripped out of their sockets.

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What did Tarzan say when the elephants came over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill!

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I like my coffee like my women. Without a penis.

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What is worse than having sex with a dead baby in front of it's mother? Not a lot.

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your mothers smells so bad,because she has poor hygiene skills

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So a man walks into a bar, right?

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why did matt die? He had cancer

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Why does it get hot after a basketball game? Because of the crowd all breathing out carbon dioxide and the high level of activity generating excess body heat.

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Why does Jerry sandusky like little boys? Because each and every intellectual human being have different interests

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Get your coat, I've got a knife.

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? Having a self-conscious baluga hold a gun on you while you hand him all the money you have on you, then realizing balugas are creatures indigenous to aquatic regions, and then realizing you are deep under water and are probably about to die from suffocation

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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