Why do flamingos hold up one leg?f If they held up two they'd fall down.

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Is it not a antijoke? When your granpa uncle or whatever used to pull out basically worthless coins out of your ears? And each time you wanted for him to drag out so many you can actually buy some bubblegum or something, the "stash" you where saving diminishes the moment you receive a new coin? Moral: Dont believe in yourself! Believe in me! Because I believe in you!

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Q: whats the differences between a bra and the canucks?? A: a bra has two cups

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Why didnt the cannibal like the taste of the comedian? because the comedian smelled very bad and the cannibal forgot to add salt.

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Q: why did the boy cross the road A: because he was being chased by a pedophile

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An Irishman walks into a bar. He orders whiskey. An American enters the same bar. He orders a beer. A blonde Frenchwoman enters the same bar. She says "Gimme whatever the Irisman ordered! Double it! He's cool!" She started talking to the American

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Three men walked into a bar. None were injured because they were all wearing hard hats as is the procedure for a construction site.

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What would a prostitute do if she was given a million dollars? She would probably diversify her portfolio. First, she would pay her rent. She would buy some groceries and a present for her mother. She would then invest it in stocks and low-yield bonds. She would they buy a vehicle. This win might not affect her continuance in her job.

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What did the unintelligent sports jock say to the band geek. Hey.

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How do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator? You don't, the giraffe is a savanah animals and there is no physical way for a giraffe to fit in a refridgerator.

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Why doesnt a chicken wear pants? Because its pecker is on his head.

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Please give money to a local Jew we have had such a bad time please ONLY people who are Jews.

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A man walks into a bar. He has three drinks, then he leaves because he realizes he needs to get home because he has to get up early to go to his job in the morning.

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Why did michael jackson wear white gloves around young boys? His doctor recommended that he do so due to bad circulation.

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Cnorris can carry very heavy objects

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What does it smell like, what does it feel like, do you like it? Yes

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What did the fat man say to the Spaniard? Nothing. The Spaniard was skinny and so the fat man was jealous and shot him in the face.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Jokes about the Holocaust

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Why did the jew put a parking meter on his roof.? ....So santa would have to pay to park.

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A talent agency is giving auditions and is just about to rap it up when a family shows up. They reluctantly agree to their "brief" audition given that they had found no suitable talent that day. The routine starts with the father starting 6 chainsaws at once while simultaneously starting a juggling/lumberjacking routine. His beautiful wife proceeds to toss him additional chainsaws (as he continually throws them for dramatic effect) while also maintaining a hypnotizing dance which seems to drain your desire to leave from your very soul. The children take turns jumping in between the chainsaws while doing a silent replay of the movie, "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon." After it plays out the father tosses the final chainsaw up in the air which lands standing straight, quivering in the dust of the studio. The studio manager says, "Why that's an AMAZING act!! I'll sign you right now! What do you call your act?" In response to which, the father shits on his desk.

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A man walks into the bar and ask the bartender for a shot of vodka. He drinks the vodka.

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How do you stop a bus? Throw a little child in front of it. If the driver is a loaf of bread, this phrase isn't rather important.

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A blind woman walks into a bar... she stands there confused because she is blind and can't tell what going on.

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What's even faster than the speed of light? The speed you close out of porn when you hear someone coming into the room.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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