Costello: Who's on first Joe Girardi: Mark Teixeira

What do you call a black pilot? A PILOT

Isn't everyday "black tie optional"?

Cosmopolitan magazine releases an issue without any sex tips.

Why did the skeleton not go to the party? Because without the aid of various ligaments and muscles that would be attached to the average human being's skeleton, he was not able to move himself so much as an inch.

It's all Taggart

A man walks into a bar at 1 in the afternoon. He's the bartender and a fellow employee asked him to cover the afternoon shift.

There's two sausages in a pan.. One says "Wow it's hot in here" The other says... "agrhhh a talking sausage"

whats 2+2? 4

An early Jewish man walks into a bar where a number of stormtroopers have gathered for drinks and is taken into custody and then delivered by railcar to a camp where he and other persecuted minorities are deliberately imprisoned in a relatively small space with inadequate facilities where they await their mass execution.

Why is Jem no longer a cartoon? Because they all died from toxic hairspray.

I also wanted to write a joke but I forgot it so here I am. Minecraft rocks and everyone who says otherwise is a noob

How I seem math word problems Scenario: 2 astronauts kayaking in the Sahara desert Question: How many pancakes does it take to shingle a doghouse Answer: Purple, because ice cream has no bones

Why did peter shake the baby? To kill it and rape its dead corpse

Roses are red, My name is Dave, This poem makes no sense, Microwave.

why did the chicken cross the road?? to go shopping for some aspirin because one of his children recently developed a raging headache and it was only logical for him to go to the pharmacy that was conveniantly placed across the road.

How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way.

So this guy drunk guy pokes this girl. 4 months later the girl has a misscarrage.

your mom is so ugly that she was made fun of in highschool so much that she now has social issues and a fear of close relationships which is why she left you and your father at age 5

If you have a stroke, call 000

your mom is so fat that she should probably try a deit in the neer future.

Why was little David sad? His father got hit by a truck.

Why didnt the poor black man have cell phone service? Because seven eight nine.

What is the difference between England and yogurt? One is a Western-European country and the other is a dairy product.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...