Why couldn't little Johnny drive the tractor? Because he had no arms. Why didn't he have any arms? Because he was a potato

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What did the black man say after he swallowed the bicycle? He didn't say anything. Swallowing a bicycle is physically impossible.

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How Does My cat have Sex? With Me.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop? Go ask your mom.

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Why did Obama win the president election He had a greater amount of votes that Jonh mccain

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KNOCK-KNOCK Who's there? There's a man after me, I was just walking down the street and he started chasing me! I'm scared, I don't know what he'll do. Let me in goddamnit! There's a man after me I was just walking down the street and he started chasing me I'm scared I don't know what he'll do let me in goddamnit who?

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Knock Knock! Who's there?! Michelle Bachman.

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What do you call a pregnant girl? Your Ex

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Ask me if I'm a truck. Are you a truck? You have HIV.

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Roses are yellow Daisies are purple Tv drinks yes Why swing the door

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Knock knock, Who's there? The police, you have committed 14 major felonies and you are being arrested.

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So a man walks into a bar carrying a giant clock. One of his friends asks, "Hey, whats up with the clock?" His friend then responds, "A goddamned genie gave it to me, i can't take it anymore. Here take his lamp." The man decided to rub the lamp and thinks to himself, "Gee, I'm gonna wish for 1 million dollars." The genie comes out and asks the man, "What wish could i grant you today?" The man says, "I wish i could have 1 million dollars!!" The genie replies, "As you please." All of a sudden, a studded dog collar appears. Then another, and another. Soon there were 1 million dog collars in the bar. The man yells, "WHAT IS THIS?!?! I DIDNT WISH FOR 1 MILLION COLLARS!!!" His friend then replies, "I didn't wish for a giant clock either...."

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A young girl falls off a swing, she is paralysed from the neck down and unable to walk every agian.

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What do you call a shop dedicated to selling rap music, watermelons, grape soda and fried chicken? A poor business model

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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My dog poops u pick it up if i poop ill say f@#% you eat it DumbS%^&

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How do you wake up Lady GaGa? You poke-poke-poker face

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What's worse then 10 dead babies in 1 tree? 1 dead baby in 10 trees...

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Why are objects in your mirror closer than they appear? Because they are closer than they appear.

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How do you avoid being hit with a toaster? You don't walk past the man hitting you with a toaster.

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Whats funnier than Steven Yuhasz being Straight? Womens Rights.

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Why was Mrs. Clause mad at Santa Clause? Because he was hanging out with three hoes, Ho, Ho, and Ho

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how do you know when an elephant been in your refridgrator The door wont close

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Why was 7 afraid of 8? Because 8 knifed 10.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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