Roses are red Violets are blue Im really bad at poetry Your mums a whore

thumb_up thumb_down +5

An alcoholic walks into a bar.... I forgot the rest of the joke but your mother is a prostitute.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What's easier than a whore? Doesn't matter, your mom's a whore either way.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Rosea's afre rewd Voleasts a/ere bluejw I ahve parkinson's dise'ase it ttook 4 hoiurs to w'irite this

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock WHAT THE F*** DO YOU WANT?!?!?!?! Oh, well then nevermind

thumb_up thumb_down

Knock knock Who's there? The police your son died in a car wreck.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

WOMAN! I am not a sweetheart at the core, I am slightly sweet on the outside and really really dark and cruel on the inside, so I can trick people into loving me before I consume them! Anyway, sure, I will get to it, first thing when I wake up, like 8 hours from now okay? Moral: Seriously? Are you hoping to see a sweetheart at my core?

thumb_up thumb_down

Q. What did the pedophile get when he went to jail? A. Exactly what he wanted.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

whats cold, blue and hard? a frozen blueberry.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

whats worse than a baby in a bathtub? its dead. Whats worse than that? its in a clown suit. Whats worse than that? The baby had down syndrome.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

This guy dies and his wife gets him cremated. She takes the ashes home and lays them out on the table and starts talking to them. "You know that fur coat you promised me? I bought it with the insurance money. You know the new car you promised me? I bought it with the insurance money." Then she whispers, "You know that blow job I promised you? Well, here it comes..."

thumb_up thumb_down -17

How did the carpenter do on his exam? Poorly so his parents killed him.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Whats Black and hangs from a tree? A Tire(:

thumb_up thumb_down -13

If an oak tree falls in the woods, and the tree has 3 squirrel nest in them, then does a whale jizz in the ocean?

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What olympic event is Kosovo best known for getting gold? Kosovo is the world's newest country and therefore does not yet have complete international recognition.

thumb_up thumb_down

What did the homeless guy get for Christmas? Nothing, he's homeless.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

What do you call a black man eating fried chicken? By his name, which could be John, considering the popularity of said name.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

How many surrealists does it take to screw in a light bulb? Yarn

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A jew walks into a bar. The bartender says "get out you jew!" The bar tender apparently was a Nazi.

thumb_up thumb_down -73

What did the man say when he saw a purple cow? Nothing. He was blind.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why is Chuck Norris' beard so great? because he grooms it daily.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the scientist go to the hospital? because he was experimenting with dangerous chemicals, and they exploded in his unsuspecting face. He doesn't have skin now.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

phil - "honey, why is the picture quality so bad" Phil was watching a toaster

thumb_up thumb_down -5

roses red violets blue my name chad i stupid

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops