How do you escape from being enlisted in the army of your nation? Flee to a different country and bring along your valuables.

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What do you call a tree with all of it's branches down? A tree with all of it's branches down.

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What did the little boy get for Christmas? Nothing, hes Jewish.

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A women was driving along in her brand new, swanky, red ferrari when she spotted a red light in the distance. She stopped steadily, following the rules of the road. All of a sudden a loud bang came from behind her where a young driver had hit her at 50 mph. They both come to an abrupt stop and exited their vehicles. The women says "Idiot, you just hit me!" The boys says "oh don't worry, I have insurance."

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What smells, tastes, and looks like trash? Garbage.

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What s faster than a black guy with a TV? His brother with a VCR.

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so a mom is like so what you want hunny and the dad goes like you baby bahahahahaa get it?

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A man walks into a bar. Several hours later he staggers out and drives into an oncoming school bus, killing all occupants. He survives to live with the grief for the rest of his life and attempts to commit suicide several times.

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What do you call ten black men running down the street? A race.

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Two gay guys are cuddling in a park when they spot a hot, busty blonde jogging near them. One turns to the other and says, "Damn... It's days like this I wish I was a lesbian."

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You know what makes me smile? Face muscles.

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knock knock. who's there? Kony. Kony who? Kony says:" Uganda be abducted"

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why did the chicken eat chicken noodle soup? Because he killed his brother.

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I've got a fever, and the only prescription is more ibuprofen...

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The man walked into the church and stayed there.

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Where's Waldo? Six feet under.

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Whats worse then dieing and going to hell? Waking up and going to school.

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A:Knock knock B:Who´s there? A:Beat B:Beat who? A:Beat your ass if you don´t open that door!!

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family

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Whats, red, blue, green, yellow, feels like popcorn, looks like jello, tastes like hydrogen peroxide and smells like burning logs? i dont know. i was asking you

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What did the single woman get for Christmas? Raped.

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what's the difference between ya mum and a cow? nothing. by mad james

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I'm wearing pants and I'm hungry

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How many juice does it take to screw in a light bulb? One.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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