a mother: my little boy always asks me to take him to see dinosaurs...but they are extinct. me: take him to a museum you dumb bitch!

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Superman: Batman, can you drive? Batman: No, but I can drive the batmobile.

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An American guy, Chinese guy, and Black guy are on a boat. Who jumps off first? Hopefully no one jumps off, especially because the ocean current is strong. They should call the coast guard if they are lost and find a safe way back to shore.

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Chuck Norris can cook ramen noodles with a microwave.

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Man 1: Is your refrigerator running? Man 2: Nope, broke last week.

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A momma cow was grazing in the meadow with her three calves when the first one asked, "Mom, how did I get the name Rose? "Well when you were born, a rose pedal came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The second calf asked, "How did I get the name Daisy?" "Well when you were born, a daisy came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The third calf mumbled, "LKJLSKJFSLKJLKSJDF" incoherently, and the Mom responded, "Shut up, Cinderblock."

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Michael Jackson walks into a bar. Everyone runs out, screaming, "AH, a dead guy is walking!"

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How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Make hurtful and upsetting remarks about her person.

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What's worse than losing one of your socks? Being jewish during the holocaust

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What did the cat say when you rub it's stomach? Nothing because felines don't have the needed vocal organs to speak, and probaly wouldn't know english do to the size of there brain.

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How do you sabotage someone's car? Drop a fridge on it

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There's a pair of siamese twins.....One of them's gay.

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What's meaner than taking a candy from a baby? Tossing the baby of a cliff

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Mr. Wonder, optimism is seeing the glass as half full, pessimism as seeing the glass half empty, and realism as not seeing the glass at all.

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You know what really pisses me off? When I drink too much coffee.

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A man walks into a man walks into a man walks into a man.

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Jingle bells Batman smells WHERE IS SHE??!!?!?!?

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Roses are red Violets are actually purple You should probably see an eye doctor.

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What dog keeps the best time? All dogs will keep reasonably good time as far as their care is concerned, if they have a stable home routine.

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What did the Japanese man do to the pizza? He ate it.

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A: Have you ever heard of a blue waffle? B: Yes, i eat them every morning... A: DO you REALLY know what a blue waffle is? B: Yes...

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It's weird how two of the SAME jokes can get different ratings.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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