I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

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*******A CELL JOKE******* Mommy Ribosome and Daddy Mitochondria are watching baby nucleus play around in the cytoplasm, when all the sudden baby nucleus falls down and breaks its cell wall. Mommy ribosome is like freaking out like, "OH NO< WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO WE NEED TO TAKE HER TO THE E.R.". Then Daddy Mitochondria says, "The smooth ER or the rough ER???"

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Roses are red, Violet are violet, not blue, dumbass.

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Roses are red My parents are dead I am Batman.

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What does it mean when somebody is Jewish? They eat palahuardo por sinquevos for breakfast. Qua.

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A man walked into a house, He never came back out as he fell down the stairs and snapped his neck, His family mourn him everyday.

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Whats green and smells like ass? My ass. I lied about the green..

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Your mom is so fat that she has to wear larger clothes than the average person.

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What do you call 100 black people at the bottom of the ocean? An unfortunate tragedy and astonishingly ironic curcumstance.

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What has an orange t shirt A dick I lied about the shirt

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Someone threw a fridge at her

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Why did the baby cross the road? I don't know but it got hit by a semi during.

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How can you kill a blonde? Hack her to bits.

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two men walked into a bar the last one ducked

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What did the priest do when he noticed the young boy bent over picking up crayons he had dropped? He helped him pick them up

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Whats the difference between an apple and an orange? A banana because a motorcycle has no windows.

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A dirty joke: The white horse fell in the mud.

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What is better then winning the special olympics? Not being retarded

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Why was the firefighter carrying a hot girl? Because her house was on fire.

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A kid walks in to a bar. The bartender asks the boy where his parents are and he replies that he does not know. They call the police who proceed to try to contact the boy's parents. They have gone missing so the boy must go up for adoption. He gets adopted by an abusive family and runs away. Without a family, job, or money, he could not afford a house. He lived alone in a box until he died of starvation.

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what did the 14 year old boy get for christmas? nothing because he his sitting in prison for killin his parents and is serving a life sentence.

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Why did Michael Jackson like 24 year olds? Because they are apart of humanity and he had no reason to dislike them.

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GUYS LISTEN !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I WANT THIS TO BE THE MOST DISLIKED JOKE EVER !!!!!!!! PLEASE :) !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was DEAD! But why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was stapled to the first monkey... But then why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? P-p-p-p-eer pressure

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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