Your mom is so fat, She should go to a doctor because her cholesterol is abnormally high.

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Why did the pumpkin stop using the jack hammer? Pumpkins cannot use power tools since they are nothing but an orange gourd. But, [for sport] say this ‘pumpkin’ was incarnate; one could assume he was done with his demolition work. He then would return the portable drill to the rental facility and get his deposit back.

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What's a boomerang that never comes back to you? A stick. :/

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Whats worse than 20 dead babies in a garbage can? A: The smell

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A mexican and a black guy are in a car. Who's driving? The chauffer, they are both rich business men.

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What happens when you play a country song backwards? Gibberish.

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Starving.

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Whats a difference between an eagle and a tree? They both can fly. Oh yeah, I Iied about the tree.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Cause Magic Johnson has AIDS

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why did the woman call the police? because there was a murderer pointing a gun at her at her son.

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How many aborigines does it take to change a lightbulb? None. They have no idea what electricity is.

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A man is pulled over because he is suspected of drunk driving. The officer comes to the window and is greeted by a man who then replies: What seems to be the officer, problem?

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why did bully fall of his bike He was eaten by a fridge

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Why did the rapper carry an umbrella? Because it was raining.

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Bum: Excuse me, can you spare some change? Rich man: No

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible for his school's football tryouts. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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What's worse than a teacher yelling at you? The holocaust

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Whats worse than bad sex. Being nice raped in the anus by a teletubby.

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What did the racist white guy say to the black guy? "I don't like Asians."

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I have Alzheimer's Roses are Red

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Based on every event that ever happened on Earth, where is a terrorist most likely to plant a bomb? Site B. Many more people play CS:GO than attempt to bomb any real-world location. Site A is a close second.

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Why did the pasta not taste good? Because your mom made it.

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What did the sleepy man say to his wife? I'm sleepy.

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"I see," said the deaf man, to the blind man, who had no ears.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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