What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Having your entire family killed in a car accident

thumb_up thumb_down +10

So an asian man gets into a car... and drives home on the highway driving at the approximate speed of the designated speed limit while exhibiting safe driving maneuvers. He arrives home to his wife and kids and sits down for a nice dinner while having a engaging conversation about the political future of the United States and his favorite football team.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

why did the kid raise his hand in class because he had a question

thumb_up thumb_down

Did you see the picture of Helen Keller's father? No. Lemme Google it. Oh cool; he had a beard.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the boy dig a hole in the football field? He was blind and his parents were being quite irresponsible....However someone should probably fill in that hole, as that could be a hazard during a football game.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

what did the pregnant women get? A miscarriage

thumb_up thumb_down +26

how did harry styles get in one diretion god

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Most poems rhyme, Show me your ti ts.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Which came first, The chicken or the egg? Well, Firstly, I suppose that depends on if we are discussing Creation or Evolution. If we are talking about Evolution, The Chicken must Logically have evolved from an egg laying creature, one which was similar to, but not quite a chicken, so, the first chicken hatched from the egg of said creature. However, if we are discussing Creation, there is no way to discern which the deity in question decided to create first, so, even odds. Therefore, Logically, there is a 75% chance the Egg came first. However, if we are discussing Chicken Eggs Specifically, the reverse is true, because the egg the first Chicken hatched from would not have been a chicken egg, it would have been the egg of another creature, a "proto-chicken" if you will. and so, in the evolution scenario, the Chicken came first. Still, in this situation, there are even odds as to which a creator may or may not have created first. Therefore, Logically, in this Scenario, there is a 75% chance that the Chicken came first

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did Sally cross the road? Because a rapist was chasing her

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the chicken cross the road? He farted

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? At age two, she contracted an illness that left her blind, deaf, unable to speak, and was considered backwards of intelligence. She lived in a dark and hopeless world of her own, rendering her unable to do anything, let alone drive.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

children burning

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A man walks into a bar.....OW!

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's sweaty, fat, and Italian? Italians

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What did the dog get for Christmas? euthanization

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What's brown and sticky? A stick.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

why did the baby fall out of the tree? the monkey dropped it. why did the monkey drop the baby? it was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

See you later... Just joke I'm blind

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Is Barack Obama a dentist, a teacher, or the president of the United States? A dentist. He just happens to have the same name as the president.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How many light bulbs does it take to screw in a light bulb? One

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why do i love this website? Because it is funny.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A doctor walks into a bar. It's his day off and decides to celebrate after a long week of working.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops