I get no respect at all. That's because I am a liar and a thief with no redeeming qualities.

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What's the difference between an elephant and a grape? They're both purple. Except for the elephant.

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what do u call 2 puerto rician men playing basketball? won on won

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What do you call a woman between two houses? Her name.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a dead moose, In my basement.

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If rocks were people, what would you call a bunch of marble rolling down a hill? Rocks don't have the ability to be people.

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What did the girl say to the boy? Hi.

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What's black, white and red all over? Half a penguin.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme Others don't

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if two couples walk down the street, when do they die? when a pack of rabid dogs eats them.

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What did the rape victim say to the rapist? "mmfff...mmm.....mmmmm"

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Why couldn't Helen Keller see or hear? She was blind and deaf.

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Roses are green Violets are yellow I have an optical disorder

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Why did the family go to Mexico? Because they were deported

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whats small and looks funny? A baby with a penis sewed to its face.

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Why did the girl fall off of her highchair? Her father threw an axe at her.

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Why can't blondes change a lightbulb? Because they're women

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why did the dog go inside the church? cuz the door was open.

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The early bird gets the worm, but the angry bird gets the pig.

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Why did the racist guy die? Because the black guy stabbed him with a fork.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Why did the little girl fall off the swings? Because at the climax point in the swing, gravity is making a much larger affect on you because you are pulling farther away from the earth as well as positioning your body in a way where it is awkward and unstable to support your body, which greatly increases the chance of you falling off and landing on the ground.

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How do you punish Helen Keller? Send her to her room until she becomes civil enough to explain what was causing her misbehavior.

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roses are red violets are blue i had sex with your dog

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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