A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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Your mumma is so fat that she wears large clothes.

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Why did the kid fall? He got pushed off of a building

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What did the terrorist do to the small village? Destroy it with a bomb vest.

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Q: What is soft, fuzzy, and lives in the woods? A: Yeti

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Justin Bieber.

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What's worse than having cancer? Two people having cancer

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Why was the guy tired? His titties were too big

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Skinny guy: Hey wanna hear a yo mama joke? Fat mother: Hey you wanna die?

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Why does Michael J Fox have such good handwriting? Through years of hardwork, perseverance, and rehabilitation.

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A beautoful poem: Roses are red Violets are blue I have a gun! gimme all your money!

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If you analyze this joke closely you' ll realize its not funny.

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how do you blindfold an asian...a piece of dental floss

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I used to be an adventurer like you, but then I was raped by a giant scorpion...

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A blond, a brunette, and a redhead all entered their designated classrooms to begin AP testing. They all worked extraordinarily hard to earn a passing grade and receive college credit. The brunette and the redhead received passing, yet average, grades. The blond also received a score that reflected the amount of effort she put into studying and memorizing the material, because there is no correlation between hair color and intelligence.

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What's nappy,brown,intoxicated,and stealing my bike? A Blazed, black guy that stole my bike.

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Your momma so fat.... She's at risk of cardiovascular disease. You should take her to a nutritionist.

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How do you upset Muslims? Kill their leader. Whoops, already did.

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How do you confuse a blonde? I guess the same way you confuse someone of any other hair color.

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Why did the tissue dance? Because it had a boggie

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Mitt Romney

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What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer? This would be unlikely to happen, as it would cut the story short.

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Two Guys Walk into a bar, you would think one of them would've seen it

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What do you call a sheep? something to have sex with.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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