A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks him "What will it be tonight?" He then promptly remembers he is on anti-joke.co but is too late to react. The horse has already shit on the floor. This is the fifth time this week that this has happened.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Lets just say some of my boys owed me a favor, and that if we where all "clean slate workers" I would never have been able to pull some favors out of the higher ups. As far as for "these Shadows" of yours, I know nothing, while I invented the encoding format for the messages you use, I intend keeping it to myself. People here will still assume this is bullshit unless you get somebody to hack this site, believe me, its pretty damn easy to retrieve whatever data might have been lost.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How do you drown a fish? You can't , it is physically Impossible to drown a fish. because they have gills, so they are able to breathe underwater.

thumb_up thumb_down -41

I remember my first "I remember my first-" joke

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Roses are red, my name is not Dave, this poem makes no sense, microwave.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

In that case you are probably a bit of an outcast as most girls of your beauty are, you know, you are that kind of girl that feels weird because when she got/gets on the buss EVERYONE stares at her, but nobody dares to say anything, right? And when you are hanging out for a drink or something guys stare at you, and go like "nah" which means "Nah she is too good to want me" and starts hitting on your friends instead. Oh and you also get a lot of rude comments from guys "auto disqualifying themselves" like using complements they know will backfire like "Hey wanna fuck sugart1ts? They do this so they can go home with their ego intact thinking "Hey I was tough enough to hit on her, but she turned out to be a bitch! So does any of this sound familiar?

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Mum, "Why aren't you listening to me, are you deaf or something?" Son, (Silence)...

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did the chicken cross the road It was being dragged to the other side by fox It's the way of life _._._

thumb_up thumb_down -6

what is small and is not fair Mitt Romneys tax rate

thumb_up thumb_down -42

knock knock. who's there myfeth myfeth who myfether came off

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Roses are red Violets are blue I suck at poems Nice tits

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the man name his boy "Sue?" He had bad eyesight and thought it was a girl.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did 5 members of the Al-Qaeda walk into the bank? To make 5 seperate cash withdrawals

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What is really hard around Kim Kardashian? Diamonds.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Theres a blonde and a brunette at a party. The redhead is left out because she has no soul.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What happpens when a Jew walks into a wall with a boner? He breaks his nose

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What is 6 plus 9? 15.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

Q: Why is winter the best season? A: It eliminates the homeless.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Bobby walked into a bar. He was then escorted out of the bar and arrested because he was underage.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

a boy poops in class everybody laughs and now he has no friends

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Q: When is the best date to walk out your door in New York? A: 9/11

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's the difference between 10 dead babies and a Ferrari ? I don't have 10 dead babies in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why did the chicken cross the road? For no specific reason, Chickens don't think much.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because at the climax point in the swing, gravity is making a much larger affect on you because you are pulling farther away from the earth as well as positioning your body in a way where it is awkward and unstable to support your body, which greatly increases the chance of you falling off and landing on the ground.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops