A mormon walks into a bar.

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Why did Sarah fall off the swings? Because she had no arms.... Knock, Knock, Who's there?: Not Sarah

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot.

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3 jews are walking into a bar. the first jew orders a shot of vodka, drinks it and says "long live my family!" the second jew orders a shot of whiskey, drinks it and says "long live my friends" the third jew orders water, because he is the one that is driving tonight.

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How do you confuse your algebra teacher? Tell her to prove that she exists.

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Why did grandma drop the dish? She had a heart attack and died, falling to the ground and thus bringing the plate with her to the floor.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure

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penis

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Why did the plane crash? Because the engine wasnt working.

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What do you call a black man walking towards you with a gun? A defibrillator.

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I learned a new party trick over the weekend; I swallow a piece of string and it comes out my other end tied! I shit you knot.

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Why did the girl talk to her computer? Because she was Skyping with some faraway friends. Why were her friends far away? She was sent to the moon. Why was she sent to the moon? Because she tried to create eternal night.

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How do you stop the mailman from performing his daily routes? You fill his house with blood thirsty bobcats

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how do you stop a speeding car? Put your foot on the brake

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What do you call an earthquake on Mars? There is not enough water on planet Mars for something like that to happen.

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Your so stupid, that your stupid.

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Whats the difference between a black man and a white man? Their skin color

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whats worst then dieng in a videogame

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Santa and smart blond jump off a building who lands frost none nethither exist

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Your mother is so fat that her BMI is larger than average.

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The umpire asked the baseball coach "Who is that on 1st base?" The baseball coach said "Who." The umpire said "Yes, that's what I'm asking." The baseball coach handed the umpire a list of his players to avoid any further confusion.

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What was Jonas's big success? Being Steven Spielbergs lead actor in his famous 1982 film.

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Pull over dat ass to fat, no seriously your blocking a firelane

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How can you tell that a blonde has been using a computer? You can't. There's no common link between computing habits and hair color.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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