whats the difference between sand and period blood? You cannot gargle sand.

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Making a good analogy is like making a chocolate sundae; either way there are simply no reindeer left, and the glass of water you once had is now gone.

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What's worse than a rapist? 2 rapists

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What did the bartender say to selena gomez? Your hot.

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Q. What happened when a mouse ran up the clock and it struck 12? A. It fell off and got raped by an 80 year old Asian lady with breast cancer

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What is the difference between Sarah Jessica Parker and a horse? Sarah Jessica Parker is a human being who is also a very skilled actress A horse is a animal which is usualy kept in a barn

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How do you get someone to shut up? Shove a fork down their throat and hang them by thier thumbs

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what does adolf hitler and jewish people have in common? they *** and **** but **** will always **** that hard but **** is ****** up rather ******, and they don't eat bacon

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What did the home-less man eat for dinner last night? Nothing.

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Behind every fat girl is a beautiful woman. No, seriously. Get out of the way.

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Why did the black man cross the road? He was chasing the chicken

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why did sarah have to do overtime at work? because i set her house on fire

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The body system was looking for a leader!? Heart - I am because I circulate the blood Brain - I should be because I control the body Liver - I should because I feed Anus - No, I am All laugh The anus held closed for seven days. The liver exploded the brain stewed and the heart stopped beating. Anus - Now, what am I?!

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I scream, you scream, we all scream for shit

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Why'd the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead Why'd the second monkey fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the first monkey Why'd the third monkey fall out of the tree? peer pressure Why'd the fourth monkey fall out of the tree? his girlfriend broke up with him so he commited suicide Why'd the fifth monkey fall out of the tree? cuz it was a dumbass

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A dancer walks into a barre

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What do you call 4 Mexicans hopping the border? 4 Mexicans in search of a better lifestyle from poverty.

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knock knock who's there? the police, we have a warrant for your arrest.

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Wife: 'what did I put into the washing machine ?' Husband: laundry

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Why didn't JFK Jr. shower before the plane flight? He was in a hurry.

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Richard Gere has a girlfriend called Goldie

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Why did the kid trip over the rock? Because he was diagnosed with serious autism, and might die soon.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Tulips are white, and Pansies are pink.

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hi

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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