Q: Why was Seven afraid of Eight? A: He was octophobic.

Two business men, a priest and three boys are on a plane which is going down. There are only three parachutes. One business man says that they should allow the children to have the parachutes as they have long lives ahead of them. The other business man says screw the children. The priest looks up at the second business man. After a short but heated argument they all agree to let the children have the parachutes. The three children then proceed to jump out of the plane with the parachutes. The two business men and the priest watch as they descend upon the earth. The plane then crashes into a mountain, killing the business men and the priest. Once the boys were safely on land they went back to their daily lives in their individual homes. Turns out a serial killer had escaped from prison, all three children were found dead the next morning, the cause of death of course being that each had contracted some form of a sexually transmitted disease from the priest.

miley cyrus

Q) How do you get 100 midgets into a Mini? A)You have to manufacture a Mini large enough to accommodate 100 midgets. It wouldn't be street-legal, but at least the problem of getting 100 midgets into a Mini is solved. Q) Did you hear about the two guys who wanted to go to Paris? A) They didn't go! Q) Why did the boy throw his Television out the window? A) Cause it was completely broken. Q. What's the difference between a duck? A. An orange. <<< This is the ultimate tough anti-joke Q: What is red and smells like blue paint? A: Red paint. Q) What did the Hobo get for Xmas? A) Nothing

Where's Wally? In a children's book.

What did Mambo say to Jumbo? Nothing. Because they weren't friends.

What's black and white and red all over? A penuin that got bit by a sea lion.

your mother is so fat that she probably watches her calorie intake every day

How do you know that an elephant has been in your refrigerator? The door is ripped off and the refrigerator is lying on it's side. All the shelves are strewn around the floor and your food has been partially eaten or simply crushed. You also have costly damage done to your house and most likely a frightened elephant in your house

what did the boy with cancer get for christmas? i dont know he's jewish

What do you call a hickey on your shoulder? Bad aim -Cooper Simpson

How did the chicken get to the other side? He crossed the road.

Why was the baby crying? Because a tree fell on its legs.

I'm on a seafood diet. It consists of prawns and tuna.

How do you kill Helen Keller? With a gun.

What do you call a dog with no legs? Doesn't matter. It won't come to you regardless what you call it.

American: Hi im American Hispanic: Oh hey

How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? Two. One to change the bulb, one to suck my dick!

What's greenish blue, smelly, and mushy? The fungus under my sink.

Suzie has no arms. Knock Knock (whos there?) Not Suzie.

Somewhere over the rainbow.... Is land.

A black man went to jail while a white man received $200 dollars. They were playing a friendly game of monopoly.

What did the carrot say to the apple? Sandals

How did the people get into the pyramid?? They didn't

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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