i named my son Frodo because he was little

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How do you get three Canadians out of a pool? Say "Hey guys time to get out of the pool."

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What do you call a dolphin on a unicycle? You need medical help

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i'm filthy rich literally because money is dirty

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A white man and a black man were walking down the street. The black borrowed the white man's phone to make a quick call when an incoming call came in. The black man, while trying to hand the phone back, says, "Here, it's your Dad." The white man replies, "No, that's my phone." Amazed at how uneducated the black man was.

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Why is the child screaming? Because he just woke up from a bad dream.

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A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver come in a gulp the guys drink down The man starts crying the lorry driver says"don't cry I will buy you another" The guy says "it's not that: Today I woke up late for work and when I finally got there my boss fired me so I get in my car to go home and it wont start so I walk home while it's raining and when I got in I found that my wife was sleeping with the gardener so I came down here and asked for some poison and you went and drank it"

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what does a deer and grass have in common? they are both green but i lied about the deer

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What do you call a dog with two tails? ...Depends on what its name is.

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Knock knock. Who's there? We are members of the church of Jesus Christ of latter day saints.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

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Mommy, why did daddy leave? Because you touch yourself at night sweetie.

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why was the little girl crying? Because her family was dead

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Your momma's so stupid, she has a lower than average IQ!

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Q: What starts with "F" and ends with "uck"? A: "Fred is raping your sister with a puck."

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Why couldn't the little pirate see the movie? He was busy

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, i was dropped on my head as a baby, 978e456293&*(^$%ZYI467z57967454^&4543^%$54#%^*44jffdGHFYI

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Pencils are yellow, Grass is green OK

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Why was the potatoe hot Cuz I cooked it

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Why do Eskimos build igloos? Because it is the most practical form of habitation for their climate zone, lifestyle, and availability of materials.

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Why did the boy not wake up on time for school? He was fucking dead.

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What happened to the guy that took to many lunesta pills? He fell asleep but he was glad it was the weekend or he would have been late for his job

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A: Knock Knock B: (No Reply) Nobody is home and the man trying to get in will come back later and try again.

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Why did sally fall off the swing? Because her grandfather hit her with a wrench.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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