How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? First of all, babies do not have the physical ability or the mental capacity to ever paint a wall, no matter how many of them there are. Second of all, they are dead which probably will not increase their chances of painting said wall.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Its 2 in the morning Go the f+%& to sleep.

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Why was Rosa Parks forced to sit in the back of the bus? Every seat wsa taken, and the back was her only option

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The biggest lie ever. "I do" -Kim Kardashian

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Why did the girl fall out of the swing? Because she had no arms. They were lost in a tractor accident.

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Two lifelong friends walk into the locl Bar and each order a Beer. " So how's life treating ya?" Phil replies, " Well Doug, I've got Stage Four Lung Cancer. I'm going to Die, remember?" Unfortunately, Doug doesn't remember because Doug has a Brain Tumor.

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Whats Black and White and Red all over? A penguin in a blender.

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If there's somethin' strange in your neighborhood Who ya gonna call 911

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Q: What race was Jesus Christ? A: None, he's not real

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Why did the baby die? Because I refused to feed it.

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A man gets a paternity test. It's better than beating his wife senseless due to his own insecurity.

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To the 'am i pregnant now?'-section: Yesterday I spilled mustard on my brand new pants. That was just before I went out to some clubs. That night, after I had enjoyed myself with friends and alcohol, while I was walking home I was raped several times by big, black and hung men. It hurt a lot and my anus is still bleeding. My question is: What is the best way to get rid of the mustard stain?

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Why couldn`t Sally open the jar? Because she did not have thumbs.

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Why did the woman have an abortion? Because she was raped at the age of 17.

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Hey I just met you And this is crazy I have Alzheimer's Hey I just met you

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A Jewish man gets on a train. He sits down and a hour and a half later he is dropped of at his proper destination.

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Why did Bill fall out if his chair? He was hit by an airplane.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I have chlamydia, and now so do you!

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Why did the man scream when his dog ran into the room? Because he was afraid of dogs.

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A peice of dust floats into a bar. Its a peice of dust so no one notices it.

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Im sitting in class trying to write a joke. I should be writing my speech But i'm better off trying to think of the funniest joke that could get on the front page with over 9000 likes :( Lol nah thats never going to happen :'(

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How do you know if someone is vegan? They'll tell you.

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What's the difference between a Christian and a Jew? One believes in Jesus, the other doesn't.

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What does a blond see when she looks at a dog? A four legged mammal, refered to as canis lupus familiaris, or what is commonly known as a dog.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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