Why was the alcoholic unable to pass a stool when he sat down on the toilet? Because he did it on the floor.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

A man walks into a bar. The bar is closed and the man is a thief. The police are promptly called in fear that the situation may become increasingly dangerous.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

A black man walks into a bar. The bartender says "I wont serve you." The black man says, "Why? Is it because of the color of my skin?" The bartender says, "No, its because your wearing a suit and on the front door it says no people in suits are allowed." So the black man took off his suit and was kindly served.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

why did the building fall down the terrorists came back

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What did one muffin say to the other muffin Holy shit a talking muffin

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Bigfoot, Santa, a dumb blonde, and a smart blonde all jump off of a cliff. They all reach terminal velocity and at impact at the same time. However, no one really cares.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What is Soulja Boy's favorite letter? I don't know. You go ask him.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Wh did Steve Jobs invent the iPhone? Because he was smart.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

You're mama's so stupid, she decided to go back to school and finish her degree in Russian Literature to improve her self-esteem and maybe -- just maybe -- save her marriage, which had been on the rocks, mostly due to her intolerable self-loathing.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

When u r using ur computer and then all the sudden it says reload and something about an error blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah .. ......blah blah blah. Blah blah. Your response: "AWWWWW BITCH ASS FUCK U"......*LEAVES ROOM*..... (HOUR LATER)*COMES BACK IN THE ROOM* "Oh hey, Meet my bff she is from your version of Hell her name is , Vir-is (virus) anyways Vir-is wanted to have sex with u and probably give u a USB Transmitted Disease A.K.A. virus then wwhile u r rebooting Vir-is and I is gonna kill u Toodles

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Yeah sure comment below, and soylent green is fucking people! Moral: "You are judging the spitting image of yourself, except that you are doomed to remain ignorant and judgmental"

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Women's rights

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What ticks and makes a very loud noise? the bed

thumb_up thumb_down -3

The Game.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

An elephant walks into a bar..what the hell

thumb_up thumb_down +9

whats worse than a chicken crossing the road 10 dead babies in a bucket

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why did the boy pick up the baseball? He wanted to play baseball.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What did the bi-polar girl do when she found our her ex-boyfriend was living with another woman? Nothing; she was happy for their new relationship and realized life moves on, in addition to taking the appropriate amount of medicine as directed by her doctor for her condition.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

This is a sentence. This is also a senctence.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

there was a tomatoes and it blew up and died. Why did it blow up? The Nazi's needed ketchup for there Jew Burgers

thumb_up thumb_down -51

What do you call a car with a sunroof? A car.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What did the white father tell his mexicon son and his wife as he left for work bye

thumb_up thumb_down -30

how do you make a plumber cry? you kill his whole family

thumb_up thumb_down +51

Why is Lindsay Lohan out of prison? No, I'm asking.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops