What do you call a dog that can't pass an Algebra test? A dog.

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What did the Muslim say to the Jew? Nothing, as he has been deaf since birth and is incapable of forming coherent speech.

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Why couldn't the little pirate see the movie? His dad had just died in a freak accident on the boat. He was going to the funeral that day. Life as a pirate isn't at all as it seems. Little Jimmy the pirate, had nothing. He had no family. His mother dead already, his sister and brother refusing to speak to him because he ran off to be a pirate with his father. Clearly, he had no idea what he was getting into, because his father was gone. What was he to do now? He had no one to go to. The ship mates were all either completly insane or never sober. That very night, Jimmy took the pistol off the ship captian and shot himself point blank in the head. Little Jimmy is in a better place now. With his mother and father. In a place where he cant be harmed any more. I miss you Jim <3. ~ Jack Sullivan

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Q: why did the plain crash A: because the driver was a loaf of bread

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How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop? 124

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? 3

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Want to hear the funniest joke in the world? I forget how it goes but it ends with the abolishment of slavery.

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Whats green and has wings? grass, I lied about the wings.

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Hello, I'm David and I just stabbed my aunt in the eye. Just kidding, my name isn't David. That was an Aunt Eye(anti) joke.

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what do you get when you cross a dinosaur and a spaceship? a dinosaur spaceship

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Knock knock Who's there? You're adopted.

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whats the difference between a ladybug and a jew? there is none

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How do you kill zombie Jesus? You can't.

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Where's Waldo? Six feet under.

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What's worse than blowing out 1 lightbulb Blowing out 2 lightbulbs

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wanna hear a joke? i dont

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if you have hair on the palm of your hand you might want to get that checked out

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I went to the principle's office because I had a hard time reading They tried to tell me I was lesdistic

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why did the boy eat his lunch money? it was his lunch!

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Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry and lost man passes by and considered eating one of the muffins. Unfortunately he can't make a decision in time and took of in his 4-wheel drive. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin the camel ate was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. So he left in a hurry, to cook for his family.

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-What did the gay guy say in Mcdonald's? -Ill have a number 10, with hot sauce and a large coke.

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What did the kid with no arms and no legs go for christmas? Cancer

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Knock Knock Who's there? Santa Santa who? Imwatching you!

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Q: Whats the difference between water melon and a baby? A: Watermelon is a fruit.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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