What do you call a moving tree? A hurricane killing thousands of people and 3 dogs.

What's black and white and red all over? A dead penguin.

Women's Rights.

your momma is so fat she eats a lot of things

R2-D2 is quite possibly the most vulgar character on the set of Star Wars. Every word he says is bleeped out.

I have magical powers. Try your best to not to follow these instructions: Ready? Go. You are now blinking your eyes. (strike 1) You are now breathing voluntary. (strike 2) You suddenly have an itch somewhere on your body. (strike 3) You lost. Thanks for playing my little game. Hope you enjoy thinking of a flying pink elephant with wings.

What happened when the turkey jumped out of the airplane? It fell.

A white person went to see Think like a Lady by Steve Harvey.

Chuck Norris doesn't call the wrong number. He calls the right number.

Why don't aliens eat clowns? Because the paint used on their faces makes the extra terrestrials leery of lead poisoning.

-Hey I know something funnier than 24, ---What? -25! Hey I know something funnier than 25. ---What? -The Holocaust!

How do you get a Virginia graduate off of your porch? Pay him for the pizza

Whats worse than forgetting your first homework assignment of the new school year? Being hazed on the first day of school to the point where you seriously consider suicide

What do you call a Mexican man in prison? A prison officer.

How many licks does it take to got to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop? 357

why did the boy dress up like a girl? because he has autism.

How did the ruttabaga believe itself to be a ruttabaga? Because it was in fact NOT a ruttabaga, but some self-aware individual with delusions.

You know what's funnier than 24? 25.

What do you call a black guy driving a Mercedes through New York? A U.S. Citizen

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped by Shrek

Why don't elderly people act their age? because they die.

What do you call a discounted watercraft? It is traditional to give it a female name.

Q: What is worse than getting stung by a bee? A: Your breath. Please have a mint.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 is a registered sex offender.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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