Roses are black. Violets black. Guns are black. My van is black.

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What's better than winning at the special olympics? Not being retarded.

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phone and phone charger were talking to each other suddenly a massive hand swopped down to the charger and another hand came down and grabbed the phone they both started screeming so the hand stabbed the phone with the phone charger so the phone said... ALL I DID WAS SCREEM (RANDOMZZZ) (L.W)

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How do you tell if a black man is ok? Poke it with a very long pole and keep your distance...

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Why did Prius driver go to jail? Because he ran over someone and then fled the scene of the crime (at 11 mph)

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What did the dog say to the other dog? Your breath smells like onions.

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Hi

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Want to hear a dirty joke? Jonny played in the mud. Want to hear a clean joke? Jonny took a bath with bubbles. Want to hear a dirty joke again? Bubbles was the girl next door, Jonny raped her.

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hahaha

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You know why Michael J. Fox makes really good milkshakes? ... because he uses the best ingredients.

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Q: Why did the Klansman go up to acclaimed rapper and television star, Flavor Flav, and say "Do you know what time it is, boy?" A: Because his trademark "bling" seems to be an actual functioning time piece. Q2: Why did that same Klansmen brutally murder Flavor Flav after he learned it was 5:46 in the pm? A2: Becasue Flavor Flav is black and that's kinda what you're expected to do in the Klan...

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Shiiit the halls with chunks of feces! Fa-la-la-la-la lala-lala! Taken from all sorts of species! Fa-la-la-la-la lala-lala! Bengal tiger, kangaroo, African elephant, blue whale too! Shit the halls with chunks of feces! Fa-la-la-la-lala-lala!

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What's disabled and red all over. The kid I hit with my car.

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A homeless guy walked up to me and said "Any change?", to which I replied, "Nope, your still homeless". We laughed and laughed. The he stabbed me.

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Whats long and hard and women like to suck on them? A popsicle or long lollipop

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The next sentence is true. The previous statement is false.

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I just drank a cola.

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What did the drug addict say to the doctor? I am a drug addict and am in need of help and rehabilitation.

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Why did the muffin not eat the other muffin. Because muffins do not have a digestive system.

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Why did the little boy drop his ice cream cone? He was hit by a bus

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What do you call a jewish womans boobs? JUBES!

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So this Horse walked into a bar... Just kidding, it was Sarah Jessica Parker.

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Why was Sally sad? She was the only survivor of a plane crash that killed her entire family.

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What did the smurf say to the other smurf? Smurf

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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