What do you call a hickey on your shoulder? Bad aim -Cooper Simpson

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Knock knock. Who's there? I'm insecure about my body.

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What do you do with a dog that has no legs? Take him to the vet and have him put to sleep, it's the only humane thing to do.

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Knock knock! Who's there? This. This who? This joke.

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How many electricians with a suitable ladder does it take to change a bulb? If the bulb fitting is now obsolete it may not be possible.

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When life gives you aids, make aids-aid.

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why do people put their pants on in the morning? because their not nudists.

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What's worse than having a bad hair day? Vietnam.

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Roar, roar! I am the king of the jungle! But did you know the lion would be defeated by a polar bear in a battle between the two?

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what is another way to say tree? A big stick with leaves

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Roses are red Violets are blue I suck at rhyming Refrigerator.

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Do you know what's sad about 4 black men driving off a cliff in a convertible? They were my friends.

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What starts with P and ends with ORN? POPCORN

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100% of the people who go to school die. What about the people who don't go to school? They die too.

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It's a man's 100th birthday, and as one of his last wishes he wants to go skydiving. Unfortunately, due to his crippling arthritis, he was unable to pull the rip cord on his parachute and plummeted to his death.

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What can move people but not rocks.. Poop

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Q: what did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? A: We're both lawyers!

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Knock knock who's there? Boo. Boo who? Uh, Boo Johnson, your next door neighbor. Forget it I'll come another day.

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guess wat chicken butt guess why chicken thy guess who chicken poo guess how he chickened out

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Why couldn't Little Johnny read his 3rd grade novel? His was repeatedly stabbed in his eyes.

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black people

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Life

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What do a grape and an elephant have in common? They're both purple, except for the elephant.

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GLaDOS: So... this cat loves lasagna so much that he eats all of the lasagna in his house. Okay, apparently it's not the cat's house or his lasagna. Oh good! The man who owns the lasagna is furious! GLaDOS: The end. GLaDOS: The end? GLaDOS: That's not funny. GLaDOS: Do either of you feel like laughing? GLaDOS: Alright, I'm pulling you out. GLaDOS: Welcome back. While you were dead, I reworked the cartoon. It's up on the screen. GLaDOS: As you can see, in my version the man points out to the cat that the house is equipped with deadly neurotoxin dispensers. GLaDOS: At which point the cat reflects on the time he ate all of the man's lasagna and feels remorse. GLaDOS: Briefly. GLaDOS: Reactions? GLaDOS: Yes, it's funny because most of it actually happened.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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