Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I have five fingers, When will you put the ring on the one NEXT to the middle one? Never?! F you.

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What did the oncologist say to his patient? You have terminal cancer.

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Why did the blind man drown? Because he couldn't swim.

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Steven bought an apple And then he went home and fed it too his pet Jim (he was a fish and then sadly died from being overfed)

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Why did the girl miss her date? She got killed.

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My mom is such a bitch that no one will date her!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!TRUE STORY!! :D

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Why is it interesting to watch your mum shower? It's Not, its sick you pervert

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Why did Elmo get depressed? All his friends sacrifised themselves to satan

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My grandfather died in a Nazi Death Camp. He fell off a watch tower.

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Why the girl fell from the swing? cause she had no arms

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What do you call a 6 year old with no friends? A Sandy Hook survivor.

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What kind of people have fat lips? People who have gotten punched in the lip or have suffered a serious lip injury that has caused their lips to swell up.

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Q: what is blue and has no legs A: A crippled boy painted blue

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What could be happier than a fat guy eating 20 pies? The guy he bought it from!

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What did one Lacrosse player say to the other? Let's touch shafts

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Whats worse than seeing your mom naked. Your dad.

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Why is Keven's name spelled with an E Because his parents are black.

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Why was the fish disappointed with his grades? They were all below C-level!

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What do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex with a woman? Intercourse

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Why didn't the magician pull a rabbit from a hat? Despite his choice of occupation, magic tricks are rarely appropriate in hostage situations.

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What do you call somebody pimping out their bitches for very large amounts of money???? A dog breeder.

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Why do Jews hate hitler? They are jealous of him.

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Why'd the cop pull over the black person? He made a traffic infraction.

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Why do jews love money so much? Because money is very valuable and everyone loves it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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