what smells like red paint, looks like red paint and is called red paint? A pear, i lied about everything i just said

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How many dead babies can you fit in a trunk? 37.

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An insane individual walks into a bank and asks for $500. The teller refuses since he doesn't have an account, so the individual pulls out a gun and asks the teller again. The teller presses the silent panic button, causing the cops to show up and arrest the gunman, but not before he manages to shoot the teller and the small child standing next two counters over.

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Mine.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have Alzheimer Roses are red

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What's worse than Bogans? Boat people.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Banana Oh hey Banana what's up? Nothing much. You? Oh nothing, I was just talking to Apple here. Oh hey Apple. Hey.

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What's the square root of 69? 8.3

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George Bush=Bush Dick Cheny=Dick Colin Powell=Colon Condoleezza Rice=Rice One of these doesn't belong here.

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What do you call a fake noodle An impasta

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How do you kill Michael Jackson? You don't he is dead.

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Why did the man order a mail order Asian bride? Because he was caucasian which meant females of his race had unrealistically high expectations of a partner due to various materialistic overtones that are constantly portrayed in their medie creating a society of over entitled women who think they are owed the earth.

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Q: What do a dollar bill and a kite have in common A: I dont know

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your mom

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People are like cats, they both die when they're suffocated

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You Know Wats Funny? Jokes....

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Why is the dog in the driver seat? Why is there birds making you filet mignon? Why is your toe blue? I don't know the answer. Go talk to your doctor

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You know you have no friends when you steal someone's ALIAS concept and disrespect what is perhaps the most intellectually satisfying form of humour. [L]

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Knock Knock Who's there? Jehovah's witness Damn...

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have you ever had african food? neither have they

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what did the african man have for breakfast? Ebola cereal.

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Whats the difference between chad woldert and justin beiber? Nothing

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An owl and a squirrel are sitting in a tree, watching a farmer go by. The owl turns to the squirrel and says nothing, because owls can't talk. The owl then eats the squirrel because it's a bird of prey. Posted by: BerserkSpoon

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If you give a mouse a cookie, he will probably eat it then have a heart attack due to the high level of sugar in the cookie

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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