Ask me if im a tree Are you a tree? No.

Why did the boy drop his peanuts and crackerjacks? He had a sudden heart attack and died at the age of 10

How do you get a mexican to do the yard work faster? Offer him a 5% bonus.

What did one wall say to the other? Nothing. Walls can't talk.

What's the difference between a bowl of chili and a urologist? One's hot n' spicy and the other analyzes urine. -Emo Phillips

- Mom, you have a banana in you ear. - Son I can't hear you, I have banana in my ear.

Roses are red, Violets are purple not f**cking blue!

A rabbit enters in apharmacy and asks for a carrot. The man says:"There aren´t any carrots in here." In the next two days the same happens, but the man replies that he'll hammer the rabbit if he comes back. In the other day, the rabbit is found dead with a bloody hammer nearby.

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What is the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't make for a very good accountant.

sky's the limit said the tree a.w. j.p.

what does the doctor say to the patient. you have cancer

Why Was my mommy gone last night? -cause I ****ed her

why is six afraid of seven? Because seven is a rapist

canaan and mallory

What did the boy say before he died? I'm dying.

What did the white male say to the black male who had just robbed a bank? I'm glad you have a reliable source of income to feed yourself and your family

Why can't Micheal J. Fox draw a perfectly straight line? It is impossible for humans to draw perfect lines.

--IT'S PEANUT BUTTER JELLY TIME!! --no it isn't. a clock only has numbers 1-12 for hours and 1-60 for minutes. "peanut butter jelly" is not in any of those number sets. what are you taking about?

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because on the other side of the road people don't question his motives

What's the easiest way to kill a blond? You stab her.

A horse walks into a bar. Just kidding, it's a panda.

What is black and white and red all over? Interracial sex partners with smallpox.

Alex watched his grandfather tear up as he told him the terrors of the Holocaust. Apparently killing Jews is hard on people.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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