Parents were talking about a particular whore house and tries to keep it secret to their son. Father: Bob and I saw the house near the river, its a whore house full of prostitutes. Mother: Shhh! Our son is listening. The Son enters the room. Son: Don't mind me, I know that area. Both parents were angry: So you've been there!? Don't deny, you know! Son: Just because I know doesn't mean I've been there. I know the moon has less gravity but I haven't been there.

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How does santa deliver presents? He doesn't, because he's not real!

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How did Notre Dame football stay so popular in spite of decades of mediocrity? Catholicism.

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What happened to the man who poo'd too much? He started to eat less because his bowell movements started to cause him serious pain.

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what did the white rapper say to the black rapper? i like your work. to which the which the black rapper replied, thanks.

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what did the turnip say to the plum? nothing, as most fruits and vegetables would've said

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Madame. Madame who? Just kidding it's Steve, but my damn foot's stuck in the door.

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How can you tell if a woman is dead? She has no pulse.

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Friends are like balloons.. If you stab them they die.

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Ah, sorry for my failed attempt at being a witty. Yes, it has been a long day, or so the saying goes.

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Why did little Billy not eat all his carrots? He does not care about his vision.

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Roses are grey, Violets are grey, I think I may be colorblind.

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How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

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what did the boy with cancer get for Christmas? AIDs then he got mugged on the way home from the hospital

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Yo momma's so fat that all the children within a close proximity of your home think that your mother is a very large woman.

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What did the little boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas?? Nobody knows because he had no arms, therefore he could not open any presents.

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Alex Eggbert

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Guy 1: Ask me if I have a banana in my ear. Guy 2: Do you have a banana in your ear? Guy 1: Sorry I can't hear you I have a banana in my ear

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Knock Knock! Who's there? ... THE DOOR!!

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Why so serious? Why bad grammar?

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I am a schizophrenic, so am I.

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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Because skeletons cannot live on their own and there is no such thing as a skeleton that can walk across roads without muscles.

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Who's gay? Justin Beaver

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Knock Knock Whos there Boo OWWW YOU ASS WAT THE F*%^ (crying)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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