Q. want to hear a really funny joke? A. Fred Figglie-horn

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If Timmy has 2 apples and Sarah has 7 apples, what is the square root of the distance of Mars and Jupiter divided by the speed of light if X equals the value of negative infinity given the equation X(2) - E=MC/7?

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Why don't you make like a tree, and get out of here.

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How do you keep a puppy warm? You throw it in the fire...

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What did the robot do when a person was shot? Nothing, it wasn't programmed for that situation.

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option 1, minecraft VS option 2, friends

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, The first line is spelled wrong, Ha, I tricked you

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What's brown and sticky? Poo.

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Do you know what color comes after 9?

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Q. What is the best way to suicide? A. Kill yourself.

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Yo mama's so fat, she weighs 283 pounds.

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why did the one armed, bearded man, in a wheelchair go to the mall ? He wished to purchase yogurt and Tiger woods 2007 for the ps2

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Why did the little girls ice cream melt? Because she was on fire.

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Choir.

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Your mom is so stupid she had a hard time graduating high school.

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Why was the little boy inside the house instead of playing with his friends outside? His dad just died from cancer.

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Knock knock What

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How do you get a clown off a swing? Hit it in the face with an axe

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There's a plane with 5000 bricks in it, one falls out. How many bricks are on the plane now? 4999 How do you get an elephant in the fridge? U open the fridge,put the elephant in and close the fridge. How do you get a deer in the fridge? Open the fridge, take the elephant out and close the fridge. A lion is trowing a party and the whole animal kingdom shows up, what animal isn't there? The deer cause he's still in the fridge. A little old lady is walking threw an alligator and snake invested swamp. *The snakes and alligators eat her (wrong answer) The brick falls on her head

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A black man walks down a high street and sees a white woman approaching. He bids her good day and they carry on their respective journeys. He then turns around and follows the white woman and rapes her in a dark alleyway, because as we all know, all black men are rapists.

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I am a schizophrenic, so am I.

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Why did the man stop dead in his tracks? He was on top of a land mine.

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What do you call 50 jewish, homeless men peeing into a river? Pollution.

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Why did Hellen Keller drive off of the cliff? Because she is a woman.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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