What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? Pizzas don't scream when you put them in the oven.

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how do you stop a speeding car? Put your foot on the brake

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My grandpa asked me a very important question right before he kicked the bucket. Grandpa: Son, how far do you think I could kick this bucket?

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z1Kuo-n7Du0

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What's white and capable of flash photography? A pony, I lied about the photography.

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Whats big brown and sticky A sappy oak tree

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dfghfgdfhfdhfgdfghdfh

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what do kids take their lunch in to school. that depends if they buy lunch at school... otherwise they bring it in a lunchbox...

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If I crash my car, how many trees does it take to cover my yard in orange juice, yellow, because a cat pissed on my foot.

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Q. What did Nelson say to his men before they boarded ship? A. "Board ship men"

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This is a sentence. This is also a senctence.

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John has 37 candy bars and eats 36 of them? What does John have? Diabetes, John has Diabetes.

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whats worse than shitting in a urinal??? shitting in a shower

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There was a hundred dollar note lying flat on the ground. The homeless guy didn't pick it up and walked on because he didn't see it.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because its rayseans favorite number

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Why did the cat die? Johnny put in the microwave.

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Im a Tree... BARK BARK!!!

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How did the gay guy greet the other gay guy? Nice to meet you.

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If 2 trains are going 60 mph, their going in opposite directions towards each other, they are slowing down 1 mile per hour per 10 miles and they are 100 miles away, would you rather have Coke or Pepsi?

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Where do 4 Mexicans in a car go? In the Car Pool lane.

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My mom told me and my brother to clean up o te commercial...but we were watching Netflix

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How do you fit 10 dead babies in a bowl? A blender How do you get them out? Chips

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a gay couple walks into a bar and get a drink

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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