go F*** yourself

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's worse than sitting in a car that's steered by a woman? Sitting in an airplane steered by a suicidal pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did the wise old widow across the street get for Hanukkah? Cardiac Arrest.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Doctor: Knock knock... Patient: Who's there? Doctor: Interrupting doctor... Patient: Interrupting doct-- Doctor: You have cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Flop dog

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the... Timmy, your mother and I are both tired.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What do you call a Mexican hot dog? Lunch.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

What did the Mexican guy get for christmas? Deported

thumb_up thumb_down -8

how do you make a dog roll over you kill it

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Yo mama is so stupid that she is currently taking courses in a community college to get her degree in business so she can have a well-paying job.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Alice, seriously do as I say, I lived with the man for over 16 years, those are not hallucinations, its PTSD, without ritalin he will just go trough that agony for nothing, not coffee not chocolate or any of that, anything that helps his focus. Seriously do not be a bitch Alice, listen to him and do as he says. Its not the first time people think he is having hallucinations when his eyes start moving back and forth like crazy, he is not seeing things, he is experiencing this as if they where real, and just because he can stay in that state for days, does not mean he is meant to go trough that kind of agony because of your ethics or caring or whatever your hesitation might be, the man can go without food for weeks if he has to, but not after you sneak trash like Zopiclone into his system. That was a mistake of yours, make up for it Alice, or ill make you pay.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A Lion walked into bar. He ordered a steak Because lions love meat.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

A man walks into a bar. Itwas an metal bar so the man was hurt.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did Helen Keller do when she found a dead body? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down

How did the comedian end his show with a bang? He shot 4 people in the audience. It was a horrible sight and the remainder of the people in the audience were scarred for life.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

There is a blonde a Burnett and a red head. Life goes on.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Womens basketball

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got hit by a truck.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

How many jews can you fit in a buick? 6...only if you squeeze 4 in the back.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

What did the scuba diver say to his partner when he got stuck in some seaweed. Something that sort of sounded like glug, or maybe blub, or some other sound you would hear trying to talk underwater.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the woman have sex with the man? Because she is over 18, which is above all of the legal consent ages in the United States.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Steve Jobs is alive In our Hearts <3

thumb_up thumb_down -5

I may have alzheimers...Thank god I dont have alzheimers

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops