Q: If Alma have 4 corners..? A: Then there must be something wrong with Alma...

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What do you call a fish with no I Defected at birth

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So a Dog walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a glass of skotch, the bartender realizes he must be dreaming. At that very moment he realises he is in a lucid dream. Since this is the case he decides to murder his wife who is in bed right next to him as an expiriment. Since its a lucid dream it doesnt matter. Next he goes down to the fridge and pulls out some old pizza. He sits down for about half an hour eating it along with a box of tuis that also magically appeared in his fridge. Then he goes outside steals the neighbours car takes it for a ride to his Sister-In-Laws house who he has always wanted to root. He goes over breaks the window with his hand. The lucid dream feels so real to him because he pains from the glass in his hand and then he goes up stairs finds his sister-in-law sleeping so he hops into bed with her. At the same moment the police arrive because they followed him from his home were they recieved complants they heard him kill his wife. Everything starts to turn into a nightmare, so scared he trys to make himself wake up. However he cannot. This is not a lucid dream. This is reality. Pizza was in his fridge because he had it for dinner the night before, Beer did not magically appear. his wife had bought it when she went gorccery shopping. He killed his wife, then stole his neighbours car and attempted to rape his Sister-in-law. So now he is going to jail. And no lawyer wants to take up the case so this man is doomed. No hope at all of ever being a free man again

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Whats plastic and little boys turn it on? A game cube, and Michael Jackson. Well maybe not anymore since hes dead...

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What do u call a gay guy with a long dik Dickgimme a lick

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Knock knock Who's there? The chicken that crossed the road

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A man runs into a psychiatrist's office and screams, "You gotta help me doc! I just killed seven people in my office building!"

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"Knock knock" "Who's there?" "Your landlord, clear out your stuff by tuesday"

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Knock Knock Who's there? Eat a dick you sh!t fukk! I'm going have to ask you leave now,

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What did the engineer say to the supervisor? Hi.

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your face.

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What do you get when you mix a polar bear and a dog? A dead dog.

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Why do all black people have nightmares? Beacause we killed the only one with a dream..

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Why did Jimmy go to the doctor? He had just been hit by a semi truck and his legs were severed. He died later that night.

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Kanye West walks into a bar. As he is a very popular celebrity, he is recognized instantly. The patrons mob him, asking for pictures and autographs. He is in a pleasant humour that evening, so he indulges them. Some laughs are had, he buys lots of drinks, and takes home two beautiful women. Such is the life of a celebrity. ...but that still doesn't make him happy.

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What is the biggest lie in the universe? "I have read and agree to the Terms of Service"

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So there was a blond, a brunette, and a red-head. They walked out of the salon very happy with their respective dye jobs.

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what's worse that reading something that just wasted seconds of your life? reading this and wasting more seconds.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? When you think that there is no worm in your apple, but after your second bite you look down in disgust as you notice you have eaten half of the worm and see the other half wriggling about in your apple.

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Why couldn't the duck fly? It died.

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A blind man crosses the street... he is hit by a car

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Why was the pedophile in jail? For indecent exposure to a child.

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A muslim in Iraq was sniped in the head by US forces. He was a terrorist, who killed 18 innocent people.

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Your mother is so fat that when she looks in the mirror she is deeply upset by her appearance.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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