What's worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? The holocaust. Whats worse than the holocaust? Three bee stings.

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Just the 1, Blondes aren't any dumber than anyone else. It's a myth.

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Roses are red, Violets aren't. This doesn't make sense. Potatoes and brown.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Doctor. Doctor who? *snicker* F*ck a duck.

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Why was the Cubs fan sad? His wife just left him.

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GRAAAAAAAAAAAR.

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Haikus are easy But they often dont make sense flying flamingos

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Why did the man cry? Because his mom died in a terrible car accident.

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Why did the fisherman die on a fishing trip? He had a heart attack.

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How do you get a single-armed monkey down from a tree? Wave.

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Why was the Japanese man unable to see? Because it was extremely sunny outside and he had forgotten to wear sunglasses.

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Why did little Timmy drop his ice cream? He was hit by a bus.

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What is the difference between Michael Jackson and Neil Armstrong? Neil Armstrong was the first man to walk on the moon, and Michael Jackson molested boys.

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Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue I Have ADD ...

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Roses are gray, Violets are gray, Everything is gray, I'm a dog.

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Why don't they sell aspirin in the jungle? Because it is not financially viable to sell pharmaceuticals in a largely unpopulated area.

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Yo momma so fat, when she sits on a rainbow nothing happens, as rainbows are merely rays of light refracted off of water particles in the air, apparent to humans only on a visible spectrum.

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Why couldn't the 10 year old see the Pirate Movie? Because he was dead...

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Your mama's so fat, that it's ruined her self-esteem.

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roses are red voilets are red bushes are red trees are red HOLY SHIT MY GARDENS ON FIRE!!!!!!

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a WAFFLE!

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WHATS A GREAT RAVE TUNE KANE !!!!! TUCKER !!!!!!!! DUH DUH DUH DUH DUH !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Q: What's gray and comes in gallons? A: Gray paint.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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