What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? A bike.

So a horse walks into a bar. The rancher immediately contacted medical help, and with a little teamwork, the horse was treated and revived.

A person affected by Alzheimer's is asked a knock knock question- Knock Knock Who's there? Boo Wait what are we doing again?

A Polish man came home one day from work, hung up his coat, took off his hat and walked into his bedroom shouting "honey I'm home!" What should he see but his best friend in bed with his wife. Infuriated, he rushed to the cupboard, pulled out his gun, put it to his head, pulled the trigger, and died instantly. His children and lecherous wife are forever scarred.

Why did the chicken cross the street? It didn't. It got hit by a car.

Roses are red Violets are blue This line doesn't rhyme Neither does this one.

whats the main reason Mexicans have legs? so they can stand.

What did the captain say to the priest? We're on a boat.

If little jimmy has five candy bars and he eats three, what does little jimmy have? Diabetes

Why do black people like Basketball so much? Because it is a sport participated world wide. They just happen to like it too.

Did you know Helen Keller had a swing set? Because she didn't.

Q. What goes 100 mph and is green? A. A frog in a blender

Why are pirates called pirates? Because it derives from the Latin word, pirata.

Roses are black Violets are black I'm blind

A polish, english and african man each were standing on a skyscraper. The african man jumped and died. The polish and enlgish men called 999.

Racial Equality

What's the difference between donuts and dead babies? You can't buy a bakers dozen of dead babies at Tim Hortons.

Whats the difference of how a hot blonde and an ugly red head got in to the same collage with a sex addicted dean? Nothing they were both very smart inteligent women with respectables GPA

What's brown and sticky? Poo.

Thats so awesome, I was totally not not going to tell you and when I saw I did not not type it I totally did it anyways, but why did it last even though stuff timed out? I am like so wet.

How many Jews can you fit in a car? Anywhere from 2-8, depending on the size of the vehicle.

A Chinese man fails a math test

Q: How many babies does it take to paint a wall? A:I don't know i was asking you P.S. leave your answer in the comments below :D

How long does it take a black woman to take a shit? Why in the world would you want to know something like that? But anyway, the answer is somewhere, on average, between 10 seconds and 15 minutes. It really varies and conditions like irritable bowel syndrome and constipation affect this range. Actually it takes about 9 months.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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