have you seen Stevie wonders car? No Neither has he

thumb_up thumb_down +4

There was this guy at a bar, just looking at his drink. He stays like that for half of an hour. Then, this big trouble-making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy, and just drinks it all down. The poor man starts crying. The truck driver says, "Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I'll buy you another drink. I just can't stand to see a man cry." "No, it's not that. This day is the worst of my life. First, I fall asleep, and I go late to my office. My boss, outrageous, fires me. When I leave the building, to my car, I found out it was stolen. The police said that they can do nothing. I get a cab to return home, and when I leave it, I remember I left my wallet and credit cards there. The cab driver just drives away." "I go home, and when I get there, I find my wife in bed with the gardener. I leave home, and come to this bar. And just when I was thinking about putting an end to my life, you show up and drink my poison."

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What did the Muslim have under his hood of his car? A V-8 engine.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Two blondes are out for a walk when they come across some tracks, they realise they are train tracks and move out of the way to make sure they aren't hit by a train.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

What did Steegers say when he lost his TARDIS? "The niggers stole it again!"

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why should you be concerned if you see a black midget with no arms and no legs falling off a building? He might get hurt.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

On the last day of Christmas, my true love gave to me... A letter saying she had gone bankrupt, as she had spent all her money buying me 12 pear trees, 35 golden rings, hiring maids and pipers and etc. for over 100 hours, and an innumerable amount of animals.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Peaches eat leaches, that is why sneaches live on beaches.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Do not be unreasonable now, as for the twenty five million dollars, it is the least I can do, but if we cannot agree upon acting with some reason and dignity, as refraining from insults, then no conflict will ever be solved... ...I will send you my contact information shortly, expect the money within the week, three or four days tops.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did the fish say when it hit a wall? Nothing. Fish cannot talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What is the street value of Amy Winehouse's ashes? Nothing. They are ashes, not drugs.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did Bob get off the swing? Because he was done.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

An old lady says, "Oh i see now." The guy standing next to her says, " Honey oyu know im blind right?"

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A rooster is sitting on the top of a house. It lays an egg. Which way does it roll? This can be solved by using the dimensions and angles of the roof to find the most probable direction it would roll (Incorporating in the power of gravity of course). Of course if the egg from the roosters uteris came out in an akward or unlikely way, it could roll the other way.This can be factored in very quickly because with the video evidence of the rooster having the egg you can see how it was delivered(the video is not of which way it rolls, just of the delivery).

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Your momma is so old that she might die soon!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Knock knock Who's there? 7. And if that's you in there, 6, you better start praying.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Mama Bear and Papa Bear were in court getting a divorce and the judge offered Baby Bear a choice of which parent to live with. "Do you want to live with your mother?" the judge asks. "No! She beats me." answers the baby bear. "OK, then you can live with your father." says the judge. "No! He beats me too!" cries baby bear. So Baby Bear was placed in a foster home.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Two Jews, three Nazis, and a black guy go into a bar. Where they have a spirited debate about Canadian football. And leave without coming to any conclusions.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why is 3 less than 4? To get to the other side

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why do women where make-up and perfume? because they are ugly and they smell bad.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

knock knock whos there make up make up who hahahaha you said make a poo

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What do you call cheese that isn't your's Well it would depend on what type of cheese it actually is

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why was the little boy reluctant to approach his father? Because his father was a rotting corpse.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What do you call a black guy with a job? Responsible.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops