This guy dies and his wife gets him cremated. She takes the ashes home and lays them out on the table and starts talking to them. "You know that fur coat you promised me? I bought it with the insurance money. You know the new car you promised me? I bought it with the insurance money." Then she whispers, "You know that blow job I promised you? Well, here it comes..."

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How did the carpenter do on his exam? Poorly so his parents killed him.

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Whats Black and hangs from a tree? A Tire(:

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If an oak tree falls in the woods, and the tree has 3 squirrel nest in them, then does a whale jizz in the ocean?

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What olympic event is Kosovo best known for getting gold? Kosovo is the world's newest country and therefore does not yet have complete international recognition.

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What did the homeless guy get for Christmas? Nothing, he's homeless.

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What do you call a black man eating fried chicken? By his name, which could be John, considering the popularity of said name.

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How many surrealists does it take to screw in a light bulb? Yarn

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A jew walks into a bar. The bartender says "get out you jew!" The bar tender apparently was a Nazi.

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What did the man say when he saw a purple cow? Nothing. He was blind.

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Why is Chuck Norris' beard so great? because he grooms it daily.

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Why did the scientist go to the hospital? because he was experimenting with dangerous chemicals, and they exploded in his unsuspecting face. He doesn't have skin now.

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phil - "honey, why is the picture quality so bad" Phil was watching a toaster

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roses red violets blue my name chad i stupid

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The man goes to the doctor after just losing his job. His house is being foreclosed because without the money from his job he can't afford to pay for his house. His girlfriend also just left him because of problems with money and she was looking forward to having a family and with him jobless it was just out of the question. Man:"Doctor I could really use some good news" Doctor:"You have aids"

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What is the best joke ever? 1D

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What do you call a black man with big cuts on his arms? You call an ambulance to help him!

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what did the soccer player say when he missed a penalty? damnit.

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Why couldn't the old man read the street sign? Because there were no words. Just an arrow designating a trun up ahead.

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I got shot once it hurt a lot

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why did the plane crash the pilot was Suicidal

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Why did the chicken cross the road Because the farmer is obviously to stupid to build a proper chicken coop, and thus his chicken is crossing the road and will most likely be hit by a car

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What did one tampon say to the other? Nothing. They were both stuck up bitches

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Why did the penguin cross the road? Chicken

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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