how do women get from the kitchen to the bedroom? they walk there.

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Fred used to only visit his parents in the hospitals on weekends, because that was his only free time. Now his parents are dead and he has more free time.

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Q. How did the little girl fall of the swing? A.She got hit by a fridge

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A grasshopper walks into into a bar and the bartender says, "We have a drink named after you. But me telling you this is in no way productive because insects cannot understand human language."

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your mama is so greasy she should go take a bath

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If the blue dog falls out of sample object, how many bananas does my mom eat? No, because markers can't talk

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There was this guy at a bar, just looking at his drink. He stays like that for half of an hour. Then, this big trouble-making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy, and just drinks it all down. The poor man starts crying. The truck driver says, "Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I'll buy you another drink. I just can't stand to see a man cry." "No, it's not that. This day is the worst of my life. First, I fall asleep, and I go late to my office. My boss, outrageous, fires me. When I leave the building, to my car, I found out it was stolen. The police said that they can do nothing. I get a cab to return home, and when I leave it, I remember I left my wallet and credit cards there. The cab driver just drives away." "I go home, and when I get there, I find my wife in bed with the gardener. I leave home, and come to this bar. And just when I was thinking about putting an end to my life, you show up and drink my poison."

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Why the moron throw the clock out the window? Because he was a moron.

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Who let the dogs out? The pet shop.

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What's white and comes out of a long black stick? Milk with a long black straw.

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what did the prostitute say to the black man after they had sexual intercourse? I have aids

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How high is the sky? True or False

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Why did the Booger cross the road? because He was getting picked on....

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If I have 7 oranges in one hand and 8 oranges in the other, what do I have? Big hands!

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Knock knock Who's there? Joke Joke who? Auntie Joke Great, could you bake me those cookies I like.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse does not reply as it is a horse and horses cannot speak. The bartender realises his stupid mistake and calls the farm the horse came from. The horse is taken back to the farm and fed some hay. The bartender carries on living his life and then dies of natural causes at a very old age.

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i googled who gives a fuck my name wasn't in the results

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What did Jesus say to the jews? Fuck you.

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What do you call a tree on fire? A burning tree.

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Stevie Wonders said to his friend, "Have you seen my house?" "No" "Neither have I"

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Why didn't Hitler go to heaven? He killed millions of jews and was an atheist.

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two kids find a condom so they decide to show their mum the mum snatched it off them saying never to touch one of them again the kids went to their room "Mum sounded pretty angry about that thing "Lucky we didnt tell her about the yohgurt we drank out of it

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Roses are red, Violet are blue, SURPRISE!!! Im about to rape you.

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Whenever anybody asks me to help me find something they lost, I say: "Look where it is and you will find it."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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