What do you call a man with no eyes or ears? - Deaf and Blind.

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hey i just met you.... and this might just sound crazy but i have a bad case of short term memory .....were we talking????

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What did Jesus get for Christmas? Birthday presents.

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Guy 1: (to guy 2) Close your eyes, stand on one leg, spin around, and yell "I have never eaten a cucumber!". Guy 2: No. Guy 1: Ok.

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A girl accidentally clicks on an advertisement while on anti-jokes.com, the girl silently curses and quickly presses the back button.

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Do you know how to save a drowning laywer? Approach with caution as drowing victims can panic, thus pushing you under. If possible throw a floatation device rather than go in yourself, or hold out a stick and instruct them to grab one end while you pull them in with the other. If necessary perform CPR. Call an ambulance and monitor for hypothermia.

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guys ive got a TANK under my house a septic tank

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whats 2+2? 4

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two men are standing on a roof. Man #1: do you want me to push you off a roof? Man #2: No.

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"Lets begin, tell me about yourself," "ok, well first I'm a open book and..." "ok next" "why?" "I fucking hate books!"

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was hit by a fridge. Why did Sally fall off her bike? She was hit by a falling monkey and fridge.

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What's 1+5 2+4 3+3 4+2 5+1 Whats 6+1 If you said 6 you're stupid.

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What happened when Mark's hair died? He got depressed that he was growing old and the signs of it were showing.

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Cancer

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Wanna hear a joke? Womens' rights.

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Roses are red violets are blue ice-cream is yummy can I eat you

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What do you do when a sing is stuck inside your head? Put a gun to your head, and shoot the song to death. It will work. Trust me. Youll never hear the song again. Or anything again.

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I like turtoes.

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What did the mute child say to his parents for the first time? "My head hurts" Doctors later found he had hypertensitive heart disease and an aneurysm in his brain. He died later that month.

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What's the difference between a hippopotamus? An orangutan.

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Knock knock Who's there? A Jehovahs Witness

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Me: I have a great knock knock joke but you have to start it off. You: Knock knock Me: who's there? You: silence as the person is confused as what's going on

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Don't tell anyone, the Health Department is already on our backs.

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Knock knock, who's there? Your mom! Oh I'm comming.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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