Waiter. there's a fly in my soup! I apologize, I'll bring you a new one immediately.

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do you know what happened to the bravest warrior in the battle who got stabbed in the foot while trying to rescue puppies from a burning building and dying children? well he took the children and puppies home, and ate them. then the SWAT came in and killed him. so yeah... oh... suck my a s s barf

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Q: What's the difference between a polar bear and a washing machine? A: Many things.

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Goku: KAAAAAAAAAAAAAMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE Freezebox: HOLY SHI... Narrator: Will Goku ever finish his attack? Will Freezebox stand there like a fucking bitch afraid for the next 48 damn epiodes rather than take a step to the side? Will the "Zee" fighters ever do anything else but comment the trucking obvious and stop aborting the show with their sweat? Find out in the next episode of... Moral: DRAGONBULL ZHIT!

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a Ferrari? A Ferrari was never alive.

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Why do black people play basketball? Because they can join their friends in playing an extremely fun and calorie-burning sport.

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What happened to the chicken that crossed the road? It got ran over by a car!

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Kim Kardashian and Kanye West are having a baby. Even Stevie Wonder saw that one coming.

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Q: What did the cat say to the dog? A: I hate you, alot

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Why was 6 afraid of 7 7 was osama bin laden

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What did Raymond say when josh ate him? Nothing because Raymond was dead.

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What did the pear say to the plum? Nobody knows - the plum was deaf and didn't hear, the pear knows only dirty words in sign language, and there was nobody else around to overhear.

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once i was a dog and u were a flower........... i raised my leg and gave u a shower :)

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why did the man shoot himself in the foot? because he didnt have the safety on and he had no gun handling skills.

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What did the sniper say when a newsreporter asked what he felt when he shot a terrorist? The sniper replied: Recoil.

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stephen hawking walks into a bar, and those who recognize him are shocked that he's no longer in his wheelchair, and approach him to let him know this, but it turns out they were wrong, it was just a man with similar facial features to stephen hawking.

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Bend over Touch your toes I'll show you where The monster goes

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Three nudists, a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead walk into a bar. No one finds it particuarly odd because the three are conscientious and wear appropriate clothing in public places.

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A group of 8 paintbal professionals land on an island to battle another paintball team. The team is then faced by a challeng of the other team ambushing them. Everyone is okay and not touched. A case breaks the window of the bus they hide in. They open the case and find a bullet proof vest. A man placed the vest on himself. They made it one by one out of the bus and to the otherside of the field the man with the vest was shot and started going... eghegeheghdjrhherbehgh and they pulled out a real gun bulet. They were now under attack by an enemy with real amunation. Then next man to run across the fied was killed. Tehy ran fr their lives.

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Ammy Winehouse walks into a bar Don't you said we should stop jocking about dead people ?

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Why cant the white man dunk? Because he lost his legs in a horrible car accident

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-When is a door not a door? -Never

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chicken brains are not as large or developed as human brains, therefore preventing the chicken from making a logical decision, leading to it crossing a road with heavy traffic and eventually being run over by a semi.

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Five guys in white sheets chase a black man down the street. It is Halloween and all six people are close friends and enjoy goofing around.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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