Where did Suzie go during the bombing? Everywhere

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Cover myself in Vaseline and cry in the dark for 4, maybe 5 hours with or without a wooden splintery dildo in my arse..”

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your momma so stupid she dropped out of high school

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I was not scared, I was disappointed, I was expecting to see you for you, not the whole strange outfit getup, what was the point of that? I know the deal about hypnosis and stuff, did you know it is actually known as monoideoism? But I really cant figure for the life of me how it is physically possible to be under a deep state of trance and completely awake at the same time.

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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Man goes to the doctors, says doctor, im depressed. ive tried everything but i just cant see the bright side of life anymore, it seems empty to me, like theres no point in existing. The doctor certifies the man as clinically depressed and alerts the relevant authorities.

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Q:Why do you never run over black guy on a bicycle A: Because that is not a very nice thing to do

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Why was the baby so hot? Napalm. Why was the baby so cold? Meat locker.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Waking up with a snapping turtle up your butt.

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Roses are red, violets are blue No they're not, violets are violet

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Your momma's so stupid that she was declared mentally retarded by her doctors.

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What do you do when you eat a loaf of bread? You throw it up because your brother made it

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How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck Norris? well no one knows for certain, but they do know there's alot of fridges involved

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I like my coffee like my women, without a penis

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Roses are grey, Violets are grey, I am couler-blind, and poetry is gay

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Whats the difference between a black guy and a bucket of shit? A black man is a life form, more specifically a homosapian, while the bucket, as well as the shit, is an inanimate object.

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What's do a woman's vagina and a camel's toe have in common? Other than being parts of two mammals, they have nothing in common.

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A Kid goes to Band Camp and comes back distinctly better at the Trumpet.

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A Jew, a Christian, and a Muslim walk into a bar. A good time was had by all, until closing time.

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why does breanna love pie? BECAUSE ITS JIMMYS LAST NAME!!!

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What's the difference between a black guy and a bucket of chicken? A lot.

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if u read this u r bent A. Now your bent

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How can you tell if a duck is sleeping? Look at its eyes.

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Q: Why don't black people like My Chemical Romance? A: Actually, some of them do.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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