A guy named Dick goes into a bar and the barman says: - "hey, show my your dick" - "show you my what?" asks Dick. - "your dick!" - "oh! no, I'm shy"

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roses are red violets are blue I can't rhyme refrigerator

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Set up Punch line.

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Once i was walking down the street when i saw a homeless man As i leant to give him money he jumped up and stabbed me. Now i don't approach drunk strangers with hangovers

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knock knock you may come in

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A Rabbi, a Priest, and an Atheist walk into a restaurant. They receive terrible service, and do not leave a tip.

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Why did the man drown in the bath? He was a quadriplegic and couldn't support himself above the water.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven brutally raped and murder six's parents whilst six hid in the closet and watched.

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What do you call a Chelsea fan on the moon? You don't call him anything... You call for help.

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Why are lizards broke? Because they run around the desert with no money...

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Knock knock *the family is on vacation and doesn't answer*

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What would you find if you shaved chuck norris's beard? A chin.

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Are you a human?

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All your facts check out, so I sent a little search team to find someone selling us out, it turns that they are after the leader of "The order" and "The king`s throne", so unless you got some small sub-department going on, point zero is in danger, ill explain everything once this is over.

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What did Batman's mother say when it was time for dinner? Nothing, Batman's parents are dead.

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How do you get four gay guys on a bar stool? With teamwork and coordination, each could place one foot on the seat, and they can all stand up using each other for balance and support. The fact that they are gay in unimportant.

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Know who had straight parents? Adolf Hitler.

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What did the dog say when the woman put a sweater on him? Nothing, dogs can't talk and he has no idea what is going on

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Why didn't Suzie answer her mother? Suzie has a serious condition where she is mute and also severely deaf.

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Do you know why the kid jumped down the 50 foot hole? I dont know, jump in and ask him.

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Cornflakes were an accident, so was Chernobyl

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Who died first the cow or the cow? The Cow

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm drunk, I want Taco Bell.

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Why do black people eat fried chicken? Because black people are usually stronger than chicken. If they weren't, chickens would probably eat fried black people.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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