Opinions are like assholes... ...they're both nouns.

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Why was Jessica sad? She had just recently run over a few newborn puppies with her car.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? -absolut vodka Well, you have a sirious drinking problem...

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What kind of condoms do cows use? None.

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Why did the dish run away from the spoon? None of them ran neither one has legs

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25

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What did the Mexican say to the Pirate? Hi, Steve!

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What's the quickest way to a man's heart? A knife.

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What did the toilet say when I pooped in it Nothing I just crapped in it

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Optimus Prime: "GIVE ME YOUR FACE!" Shockwave: "Illogical. I have no face." Optimus Prime: "Then GIVE ME YOUR EYE!" *RIPP*

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Barack Obama plays basketball

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So 2 apples are having sex, and one apple sais to the other, I got worms.

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A boy's parents buy him a Wii for Christmas. The boy hangs himself the next day because you need arms to play Wii.

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KNOCK! KNOCK! who knocks like that? all my friends break the door down...oh alright then ill answer i guess WHO IS IT? THE REAPER oh s*** dude! [panic face] NO ONES HOME? "In other news tonight, 2 local men found murdered in their living rooms, after looking up common joke style called antee joke. Police say the door was smashed in an obvious sign of forced entry. They seem to have just mysteriously had sudden heart attacks and fainted. heh heh...hey nancy....why did the chicken cross the road? [=< heh heh" "y" "because he thouroughly enjoyed darting out into traffic" "HAHAHAHAHAHAHA *GASP!* X.x dead face "NANCY! NANCY!.....well in other OTHER news ive just murdered nancy, and thats no joke." *runs*

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8--------------------- penis

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try slamming a revolving door

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What did the cop say to the people watching the house fire? All right nothing to see here jokes over

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Why do Asian men love noodles? Noodles are delicious!

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why was the little girl crying? Because her family was dead

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hi

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What do you call an asian woman with one leg? By her name.

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(Put joke here)

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Q. The square root of 69 is 8 something, right? A. Yes, to be exact it is 8.30662386.

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Why did the sailor fall off the boat? Because vampires arent real.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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