my girlfriend keeps calling me a pedophile, thats a big word for a 3 year old

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Knock Knock DAMMIT WOMAN MAKE ME A SAMMACH

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Q: What's long and brown? A: The unemployment line.

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A man walks into a bar He says ouch

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A horse walks in a bar and the bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse didn't reply because he was a hoarse horse.

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a duck walked up to a lemon aid stand and he said to the man running the stand... quack

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Why did Cam newton win the heisman? Wait Cam Newton won the heisman?

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what is so fun about having sex with twenty six year olds? There is a high possibility their breasts have developed, thus equaling more pleasure for you.

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How many blind men does it take to change a light bulb? None. They are blind and do not care if it is light or dark in their surroundings.

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Why did the cookie die Because a fat kid was hungry

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What's the difference between Republicans and Democrats? There is a series of boxes which one can choose to check on a ballot, officially registering an individual with a certain party. Available parties include the Green Party, The American Communist Party, The Republican Party, and the Democratic Party among others. Republicans choose to check the Republican box, Democrats choose to check the Democrat box. Also Republicans are closet homosexuals and Democrats are terrorists.

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How do you tell if your boyfriend is gay? He is having sex with men

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why did the man fall over he was a loaf of bread

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Q. Why did the koala bear go to court? A. Because too many people were referring to it as a bear when it is infact not a bear.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Your neighbour. My neighbour who? Timothy, welcome to the neighbourhood!

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She was deaf and blind.

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How many jews does it take to change a lightbulb? One.

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What did the circle say to the square? Ur a square

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So a person asked a blonde in America which was closer: the Moon or Canada? The blonde responded "Canada"

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Roses are blue Violets are red Sugar are you And so is sweet

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We're out of mustard, so in your sandwich I used some yellow liquid dripping from a dying rhinoceros.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It had the utmost desire to.

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Tifa my ass, if that is your name buddy, then I am Nicholas Cage, or why do you not just call me Cloud Strife? Seriously, if you are a guy just say it and get lost, I will still honor my agreement and show up and see what I can do for your little order though, you pay the trip and the stay of course.

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You wanna hear a joke about my penis Nevermind, it would be inappropriate of me to say such a thing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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