Shit!

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what do you call white people running down a mountain? Avalanche What do you call black people running down a mountain? Jailbreak

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Lard and Liz lard,lard and Liz

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Why can't Tom go horse back riding? He is paralized from the neck down

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I have an idea! You leave.

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A teacher, a lawyer, and a doctor are all at the edge of the cliff. Then they jump off and die.

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What do you call a fat guy running on the street? Nothing because you should respect his effort trying to improve his health.

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Q: John gets attacked with a chainsaw, how many stitches does he get? A: None, Hes dead jim

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Whats red and you can't see it? No Tomatoes

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What's blue, and smells like fish? A firetruck, I was kidding about the blue and fish.

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Yo mama's so fat that she should probably go on a diet to avoid the risk of getting a cardiovascular disese.

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What do u call a joke with no punchline? A joke with a kickline

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Pope: how to help the unfortunate people my fellow Christians? Christians: We should give donations and a lot of support. What we always do. Pope: and i shall wear this golden hat, sit on a high quality super expensive chair, this rope with gold attached to the decorations, and wave my golden staff as you help these poor innocent children. Christians: yes...that... Pope: P.S: and live in an expensive church with many children alone.

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What's worse then failing a math test? Your mom getting shot

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What did the the Priest do to the young alter boy? Blessed Him

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What do you call a blonde in a library? Lost

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Who stole the cookie from the cookie jar Was it you? No

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Are you kidding? If you can slow down time when stressed, then that means that your perception of time is, well... Oh relative, but still wow! What about now though? Can you do it? And for curiosity`s sake, what if you jumped off a roof? Would the stress make it all really slow?

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What happens when you go swimming in the rain? You get wet.

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why did chuck norris walk on water? because he's chuck norris

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What's the difference between a baby and a mushroom? One is delicious, the other is a mushroom.

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A priest enters a bar moments after a young teen walks into the same bar. The priest scolds the teen, warning him of the possibility of arrest, alcoholism, and other bad life consquences. The teen apologizes to the bartender, and much later in life, he thanks the priest.

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Yo mamas so tan she might get skin cancer

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A thief walks into a bank. He has an account there and withdraws 200 bucks.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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