What's green and doesn't fly? A broken green helicopter.

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How do you greet your great great grandmother born in 1738? Hey, what's up, hello.

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Why did the girl scream in terror? Because her parents are being murdered.

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Q. Why did the triceratops die? A. A giant meteor hit him.

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How many Jews does it take to fix a light bulb? Four, one to take the light bulb out, one to put a new in, one to hold the ladder, and one to hold the guy holding the ladder

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how do you kill a bird? tie it to a tree throw a wasp nest at it and run the tree over with a semi filled with manure

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what is the difference between two trees? it doesn't matter because motorcycles don't have doors

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? It really depends on the make and model of the car, as well as the relative size and weight of the people in question, but legally you can only have as many people in the car as there are seatbelts available for them.

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What did one deer say to the other? Nothing. The second deer was killed while they were eating and now the first deer is scarred dot life.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No neither has he.

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If youve ever seen the wizard of oz movie and family guy, then u get what i mean. Hes a PHONY! a BIG FAT PHONY!

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Why did the little boy fall off the swing? He had no arms

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what do you do if there is a black person in your front yard? tell him to leave...

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what does a granny look best in? 1950

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bath tub? 17

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A police officer walks into a doughnut shop. He approaches the cashier and hands him 20$. He says "Here, I saw you drop this on your way in" he promptly leaves the store.

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I just flew in from Chicago and boy are my legs cramped

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why did the chicken eat chicken noodle soup? Because he killed his brother.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he got hit by a bus

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Have you ever seen the mexican that went to college? Yes, the DREAM act increased the number of minorities in public universities

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Two muffins are in an oven. Although they both possess the extraordinary ability to speak, strangely each remains silent, apparently lost in their own thoughts. Thus nobody has any reason to think they are any different than any other muffins. Later after they've been baked and allowed to cool, they are sold to a woman who eats them along with a small salad. She enjoys their chewy, hearty texture, and lightly sweet taste. She is completely unaware of what amazing discovery has just been lost to science.

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What's black and white and read all over? A lot of things.

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs on the doorstep? The Diabetes man

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What's worse than forgetting to charge your cell phone battery? Getting wrongfully accused and going to jail and get raped by inmates for the rest of your life.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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