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Wishing to teach his donkey not to eat, a pedant did not offer him any food. When the donkey died of hunger, he said: ‘I’ve had a great loss. Just when he had learned not to eat, he died.

when i'm away from home i sometimes get love sick, well they call it chlamydiae.

Q: What's worse than being fat? A: Getting even fatter than u already are. :o

Why didn't the monkey cross the road? He saw the chicken get run over.

what did the cop say to the robber... freeze bitch hope you like prison food and penis

what do you call a muslim flying a plane? A pilot you racist.

what did the blind and deaf kid get for Christmas? cancer

mat (telling anti joke): so you are stranded in a desert, right and kyle: no. Mat: no man i'm Kyle: no (kyle was later found dead)

What did tyler say to Jake? My pussy is wet jew

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is dead. Dead people can't drive.

Why does pavement get hot. Because it’s black. How could you tell she had bruises. Because they were black. Why did the boy drop out of school. Because he was dying of melanoma.

Knock knock. Who's there? Boo Boo who? I don't have a last name, it's just Boo

How did the boy get a bruise? His mum threw a fridge at him! How did the boy get a big graise? He got mulched! Why did the boy get molested? Because he was naked in Mr. Molestogiacomo's house!

Wanna hear something half funny 34.5

A nuclear reactor explodes and all the waste are going straight out in the ocean. Look at my new shoes.

how did the kenyan get away from the cop He didnt he got arrested

Your best friend is different from a dead person. The best friend will die if you shoot him in the head but the dead person won't die, he's already dead.

whats yellow and cant swim? a bulldozer

What happens when your first name is Newton? You get nicknamed NEWT

Why did the cow jump over the moon ? This is a highly unlikely situation , therefore the cow did not leave its humble pasture , let alone talk english while in the midst of jumping over a planet wich takes days to fly over .

Schrodinger's cat walks into a bar. And doesn't.

Guy 1: Yo dawg Guy 2: DID yOU JUST FUCKING CALL ME A DOG>/?>/???? Guy 3: Yea

Q.why is there so much drama? A.it's a reality tv show.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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