yo momma's so fat she sat on a tiny chair and relaxed.

Knock knock. Who's there? Becca. I just found out i have aids, so you should probably get yourself checked out.

Roses are red, Violets are blue. False. Violets are violet

whats worse than the smell of nail polish? burning jews.

what is purple and fly? - a purple flying.

What's the difference between a fine wine and a dead baby in a blender? One gets better as it ages, and the other is a horrific accident.

Why are anti jokes not funny.... Because they make sense.

What did the man at the haberdashery say? Six and seven-eighths, bub, six and seven-eighths.

Why was six afraid of seven? He was wanted for murder.

Knock knock. Who's there? The police. You wife was killed in an accident.

What is black, often hung by a rope on a tree, and something white people like to play with? A tire swing.

Paddy and Murphy are walking down the street, Paddy says to Murphy, "Alright Murphy? How's the kids?" Murphy says to Paddy, "Not bad, thanks."

What happens when you cross a dog and a cat? Something.

A man is driving down the road and breaks down near a monastery. He goes to the monastery, knocks on the door, and says, “My car broke down. Do you think I could stay the night?” The monks graciously accept him, feed him dinner, even fix his car. As the man tries to fall asleep, he hears a strange sound. The next morning, he asks the monks what the sound was, but they say, “We can’t tell you. You’re not a monk.” The man is disappointed but thanks them anyway and goes about his merry way. Some years later, the same man breaks down in front of the same monastery. The monks accept him, feed him, even fix his car. That night, he hears the same strange noise that he had heard years earlier. The next morning, he asks what it is, but the monks reply, “We can’t tell you. You’re not a monk.” The man says, “All right, all right. I’m *dying* to know. If the only way I can find out what that sound was is to become a monk, how do I become a monk?” The monks reply, “You must travel the earth and tell us how many blades of grass there are and the exact number of sand pebbles. When you find these numbers, you will become a monk.” The man sets about his task. Forty-five years later, he returns and knocks on the door of the monastery. He says, “I have traveled the earth and have found what you have asked for. There are 145,236,284,232 blades of grass and 231,281,219,999,129,382 sand pebbles on the earth.” The monks reply, “Congratulations. You are now a monk. We shall now show you the way to the sound.” The monks lead the man to a wooden door, where the head monk says, “The sound is right behind that door.” The man reaches for the knob, but the door is locked. He says, “Real funny. May I have the key?” The monks give him the key, and he opens the door. Behind the wooden door is another door made of stone. The man demands the key to the stone door. The monks give him the key, and he opens it, only to find a door made of ruby. He demands another key from the monks, who provide it. Behind that door is another door, this one made of sapphire. So it went until the man had gone through doors of emerald, silver, topaz, and amethyst. Finally, the monks say, “This is the last key to the last door.” The man is relieved to no end. He unlocks the door, turns the knob, and behind that door he is amazed to find the source of that strange sound. But I can’t tell you what it is because you’re not a monk...

Luke Hardie is G@Y

Hey Shea

adam hodgson !

y momma so fat that she's heavy

What's blue, cold and makes people cry? A dead baby

What do you get when you cross a cat and a dog? an email from PETA

What's a cow's fovorite vacation spot? Farmyard animals do not receive vacations, they have long hours, no pay, and get eaten upon death.

What did the raped girl get for Christmas? Pregnant.

Knock Knock! Whos There? Paul Okay I was expecting you

Often, Asians argue that they can speak properly... Like instead of L's, they use "R's." Sure... http://eng.tekkenpedia.com/wiki/Leo#Introduction

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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