why did the giraffe cross the road? because my dad and his "fishing buddies" are having another "meeting" in the basement. I hear weird noises, and I haven't seen my little sister in weeks, since the last "meeting." Dad said she went to a special camp for little girls. I hear horrible noises.

thumb_up thumb_down +71

How do you make Lady Gaga cry? You set her on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

whats brown and smells like shit shit

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Yesterday I caught my 4year old son shaving, trying to be like his dad. Sadly, he accidently sliced through the main artery supplying blood to his brain and bled to death in my arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

What's Brown and dirty? Dirt

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why was Sally's dad crying? Because Sally got raped. Why was Sally crying? Her dad raped her.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What did Santa Clause say to Rudolf? Nothing. Santa's not real.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Hi

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Knock knock! who's there? Excuse me sir can I have a moment to talk to you about our lord and savior Jesus Christ?

thumb_up thumb_down +3

I've got a shotgun with two bullets. I've got two enemies. What do I do with the gun? I go bird hunting. Kelvin Yang

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What do you call a black man driving a bus? By his name

thumb_up thumb_down +19

I have read and agree to the Terms of Service

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What is worse that a bee sting? 2 bee stings what is worse that 2 bee sting? Kony what is wose than Kony? 3 bee stings what is worse than 3 bee sting? being allergic to bee stings

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did nobody bother to help the old lady cross the road? Because her actions in recent years had given rise to considerable division and ill-feeling within the community.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know either, i'm just wondering why a chicken is trying to cross the road!

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Two Blondes walk into a bar. They each enjoy a refreshing drink before heading home to greet their family

thumb_up thumb_down +21

A zucchini is walking down the street, when he spots a cucumber club on his left hand side. Having nothing else to do he decides to walk in. When he walks into the club all of the cucumbers stop and stare at this strange being in their club. Finally, after having one too many drinks, one cucumber decides that this ridiculousness has gone on long enough and it is up to him to say something, so he goes up to the zucchini and says, "Hey buddy, what's your problem, clearly you are in a cucumber club and you're a zucchini." The zucchini just looks at him, puzzled, and responds " A cucumber club? I thought this was a ucumber club!!!!!"... It's funny because zucchinis are dyslexic.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Your mama is so fat, we are all seriously concerned about her health.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

knock knock who's there? rock rock who? rock on the ground, don't trip

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What is a dog? Bark

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Knock knock. Who's there? Interrupting Cow. Interrupting Cow who? Interrupting Cow Jones.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the cookie go to the doctor's office? He had brain cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

what do you have to do to confuse a blond? Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down +48

This joke is the worst joke ever.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops