What do you call someone with no arms, one leg,and an eye patch? names

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A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so can I have your text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

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What do you say if you see a floating TV at night? Wow a floating TV. It's amazing how far technology has progressed throughout the years.

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Know what's worse than being publicly embarrassed in front of your crush? Jeffrey dahmer

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Roses are red, violets are blue, Flappy Bird is no where near as annoying as you!

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Yo momma so fat, she has large amount of fat deposited in her body

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Why did the retirement home go out of business. There was a fire and all of the residents charred to death accept for a couple who escaped but were too traumatized to return to the old folks home.

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whats funny? laughing at people when they die a slow and painful death.

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Q:Whats 2+2? A: 4

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Your mother is so fat, she spends all day in her bedroom, eating chocolate and crying herself to sleep.

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What makes a good jack-o-lantern? A pumpkin

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What did Batman say to Robin after they got on the bus? We should have taken the batmobile.

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How many ADD kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Let's ride bikes!!

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Why did the cow jump over the moon? To see outer space

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This girl came up to me and said she recognized me from the vegetarian club. Her name was Jill.

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Why did Timmy stay home on the day of the big test at the public school? He was homeschooled

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what do you call an elephant crossing a fish? a elephant fish

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roses are red pickles are green i like your legs and whats in between

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? I don't know. It depends how high the light is.

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What's a ghost's favourite country? Fraaaaance.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? John Simons. This joke lacks a punchline. Yes, yes it does.

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What do you call an asian man driving a plane? Nothing, you cannot drive a plane you can only fly it

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was a woman.

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You know you're drunk when you've spend a significant amount of time consuming alcohol.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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