How does a cancer patient bathe? He can't because he lives in an arid climate where water is scarce.

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What stinks and comes out of someones mouth. Bad Breath

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what will hit the ground first an apple or Obama The apple, obama was stopped by a rope

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I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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What did the tree say to the other tree?....nothing cause trees can't talk!

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I'm on the ABC diet. The ABC stands for: Americans British Chinese I eat humans.

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Todays word of the day, is "legs" lets head back to your place and spread the word....

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No? Neither have they.

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what do obama and terrorist have in common -they are both human

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How do you find dennis ferguson? Look at danyons bckground

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was depressed for a long time and decided to end his life by getting hit by a car.

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How can you tell if a blonde has been using your computer? Ask her.

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Why did the man cross the road? His mother had recently passed away after a 12 year battle with lung cancer and is visiting her tombstone.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato.

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A kid is Jackin off and his dad walks in and says if you keep jackin off you will loose your sight. the kid says dad im over here.

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whats brown and sticky? a four week dead uunborn african child...

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When is it ok to drink urine? When you're Bear Grills

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Me: Wanna play a game of red light and as I get closer to you, you get to call red light?? girl: Yea! okay, go! girl: green light!! Me: Sorry, firetrucks don't stop for red lights

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Roses are red violets are red bushes are red oh shit my garden is on fire

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Knock knock! Who's there? Bob Hi bob, come inside. And next time just use the doorbell

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What's 9+10? 19

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Why did the black basketball team beat the white basketball team? They practiced more

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whats the hardest part about eating a vegitable getting your mouth around the wheelchair.

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whats long and hard and full of seamen a penis

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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