Jake was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really angry. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds and it better be there!!" The next morning he got up early and told his wife to come to the driveway. His wife looks down and sees a scale.

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How do you get a dog to stop humping you? Pick him up and suck his dick.

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25

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why did suzy drop her ice cream? she got hit by a bus. knock knock! who's there? not suzy.

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A dog walks into a bar, looks at the bartender, lifts its leg and pisses on a bar stool. What does the bartender do ? He chases the dog out the bar and gets a mop to mop up the piss.

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A man walks into a bar and says "Ouch."

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An Irishman, an Englishman and a Scott land on an island. They were on vacation and returned to the UK, which consists of two isles.

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When is a door not a door? When your burns down.

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Roses are red, viotels are blue. God made me pretty, what happened to you?

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So you into art? You been to Louvre by the way?

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Man 1: HEY DUDE! Man 2: Go shoot yourself

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What do you say to a black man driving a car? Taxi

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Knock Knock! Whos There? Little boy blew! Little boy blew who? Micheal Jackson....

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How do unwed mothers celebrate Mother's Day? The same way all mothers do.

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What do you call a Muslim man flying a plane? The pilot.

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How do you confuse a blond? Ask her to solve ( [3x - 3x^2 +1]^744 ) x ( [- 3x + 3x^2 +1]^745 )

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A man walks into a bar. He has a nice drink and leaves.

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Peas

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Ronald McDonald was chasing him.

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I would write a joke, but it wouldn't be funny

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i like serious. serious means business. business means cash. cash means money. money makes me happy and when i'm happy you dont die

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Why did the dog bite justin beiber? Why not?

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Guy1:should I ask this girl out? Guy2:NO!!!!!!! Guy1:????????

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like this or you will die at some point in your life

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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