A gay jew walked into a bar. Just kidding, for there was only a red blanket.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Q: Why did the plane crash? A: Someone threw a hippo at the pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Hey I just met you, and this is crazy, I have Alzheimers, Hey i just met you.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

No really, try this: You: Say "knock, knock" Your friend: OK, knock knock You: Who's there? Your friend: ...... [this awkward pause makes evident the fact that it has now dawned on your friend that he has to generate content for a joke that he wasn't telling in the first place]

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was the World Chicken Road Crossing Competition.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Your mother is so fat that when she goes to the movies, she usually orders popcorn and maybe a drink.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What's worst then a parking ticket? The plague

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Day turn night. Dreaming is now true . Turn on your flashlight, slenderman is behind you.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A man is pulled over for drunk driving, and is asked to say the alphabet backwards. When requested to do so, the man says, "officer, I can't even do that when I'm sober," thus admitting that he is drunk. The police officer chuckles at the drunk man's stupidity, and wonders whether or not his wife would find the incident funny. After all, they do share a similar sense of humor.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

what did the farmer say when he lost his red tractor?

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A young baby died.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the circus clown lose his balance? He had a seizure while on his unicycle, fell off, and bumped his head, leading to significant blunt trauma in the brain. Weeks later, after waking up from a coma, the doctors discover that he can no longer speak anything other than gibberish. His friends and family decide that he cannot go on living this way and decide to pull the plug.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms! Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sarah!

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What's the difference between a 1980 mustang and a pile of dead babies? I don't have the mustang in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

your mom is so dumb she threw a rock at the ground and missed

thumb_up thumb_down -11

The african american male looked into his refridgerator hoping to have some orange juice to drink with his breakfast. All he had was Kool-Aid. He then proceeded to drink the Kool-Aid.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

An insane individual walks into a bank and asks for $500. The teller refuses since he doesn't have an account, so the individual pulls out a gun and asks the teller again. The teller presses the silent panic button, causing the cops to show up and arrest the gunman, but not before he manages to shoot the teller and the small child standing next two counters over.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What did Sammy get for Christmas? Raped.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What's clear on the outside and grey on the inside? An elephant in a plastic bag.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Coach: Hey, you missed the team meeting today, but I wanted to let you know we've had a number of changes to the lineup. Player: Really? Who's on first? Coach: That's right. A man with the unlikely name of Mr. Who is on first. We also have Mr. What on second, and Mr. I Don't Know is on third. The rest of the team is the same. Player: Oh. People have weird names now. But I'm sure they're great guys. Thanks for explaining that. Coach: Any time. Don't mention it.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didnt a black guy ate him.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How do you get twenty black men in a tiny car? Saw them into pieces.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

what is the best way to stand out from the croud? open up your butt hole and take a video for to put on dat jumbotron

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What's the difference between a pizza and a Jew? A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops