A black man walks into a bank with a gun. He then clocks in and takes duty because he is a security guard at the bank.

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Think about this. I am lying to you right now.

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Why do Jew's have long noses? To dig out of the ashes.

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Knock, Knock Who is there? Yo Yo who? *the man ran away and was never seen again, because he had nowhere to stay*

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What's funnier than a dead baby? -A dead baby sitting next to a kid with Down Syndrome.

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Q. How do you make your dog stop barking? A. Take it to the grocery store. Replace it with any popsicle in the fridge.

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Yo mama so stupid that when she missed the 44 bus, she took the 22 twice instead

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Why did the kid fall off the swing? He had no legs.

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Q: Whats the worst thing to drop in a prison shower? A: An exploding nail gun

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Why did the man drink water? Because he was thirsty

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What do you do when jews take over your country? Invade Poland.

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How many rats live in a llamas stomach? the cats pajamas

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How do you keep the crime rate down in a black neighborhood? Blow everybody up all at one time.

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How do you confuse a girl? Easily.

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why doesnt cornelia say anything? she didnt answer

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what does an adhd kid that causes all kind of trouble get? a buncha ass whoopins and some meds to dope his ass up

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My grandma told me to always keep my head up and just keep going. She fell down a manhole last week and died.

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Why do I staple a mans mouth to his penis. Because I wanted to

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Milkman. Milkman who? I've been coming here for 14 years and you don't even know my name? I helped take your mother to the hospital for crying out loud! I held you in my arms as a baby! And you don't even have the decency to remember MY NAME?! I'm sorry I don't live in a house that allows milk and other groceries to be delivered, I'm sorry that I wasn't born into a nice family with a nice home! I'm sorry that I have had to come here EVERY WEEK FOR FOURTEEN YEARS and you can't even remember my NAME! My name! I left my family for christmas one year to go pick up that elmo doll for you when you were a kid! I saved you from that burning treehouse! I helped you with you're 3rd grade science fair project and you won! YOU WON! We took a picture together that i have kept in my wallet. And i proudly say here's me and timmy. ME AND TIMMY! TIMMY! But no...you don't need to know my name. Well good day sir. You shan't see me again.

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What day comes after Friday? Saturday, and Sunday comes afterwards.

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Guy walks into a bar and orders a drink. He orders a beer with two cubes of ice. The bartender ask why does he want two cubes of ice. The guy doesn't answer. He finishes his beer and proceeds to go home safely because he was not intoxicated.

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What did the old man say? Im old

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Q: What did Santa give the little boy for Christmas? A: Nothing, he's not real

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What do you call a guy with out any arms or legs floating in the ocean? Bob

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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