how do u wake kesha up? Answer:set her alarm clock to a reasonable time

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Have you ever seen the episode of the powerpuff girls where they save the day?

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Thousands upon thousands upon thousands of dying infants.

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Why did the man jump in front of the car? He was clinically depressed, his wife left him and took the kids, he just lost his job. He thought he saw a 20 dollar bill in the street So he stopped to pick it up, not realizing a car was speeding toward him.

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So,a guy walks up to his friends at the bar and try's to to talk to them,the friends start being rasist ,so the first guy says 'wo guys stop going in that direction ,that one direction

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You idiot.

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What happened when the roof fell on a young boy? Nothing. He was an orphan.

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"I saw daddy with mommy last night. I think he was stealing my milk."

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? Neither have they.

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Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock The person you are seeking is deaf and cannot hear the sound that is made when your knuckles come in contact with the door. Try calling next time..........

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Q. How many leprechauns does it take to screw in a light bulb? A. Light bulbs don't exist

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What's the difference between jam and jelly? Jelly is a clear or translucent fruit spread made from sweetened fruit juice, and set using naturally occurring pectin. Jam contains both fruit juice and pieces of fruit.

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whats blue and looks like a bucket? a red bucket disguised as a blue bucket

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If your Jewish, then don't go to Germany.

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Q:How do you confuse a blonde preschooler? A:Calculus.

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A kid is Jackin off and his dad walks in and says if you keep jackin off you will loose your sight. the kid says dad im over here.

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What is funnier than this joke? Jokes with higher ratings.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I hate rhyming Penis

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Nathaniel Nugnes walks into a bra

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Why did Ben Franklin Invent Bifocals? He's a jive turkey.

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What did the fish say to the human ? He didn't say anything fish can't speak.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I told you she was my Mom, but that didn't stop you!

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What is worse than burning your toast? - Obama

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SCP-009-J is missing. Where has it gone? Is it under the table? Was it sat upon? Is it there on the ceiling? Is it under the rug? Was it gobbled right up by a quantum pillbug? Did it run through the tunnel? Did it fall down the stair? Was it sent back in time to a carnival fair? Did it get on a train to a far-away place? Is it locked in a falsified beacon from space? Did it fall in the oobleck and [DATA EXPUNGED]? If it clogged up the sink, will it have to be plunged? Just where has SCP-009-J gotten to? Oh wait, that's right! SCP-009-J is you!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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