Knock Knock! Who's there? I don't remember the rest of the joke but your mom's a whore.

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How do you spell eight? 8

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Why did the chicken croos the road? He was battling severe depression at the time. His alcoholism was tearing his family apart, he was declining in job performance and his boss threatened to fire him several times. I guess at that point he just decided to end it all. It was horribly tragic, policemen knocking on the door of his wife's chicken roost and informing her of the bad news. As soon as she heard, she rushed to the scene, only to see his mangled body spread across the street, intestines falling out. They held a closed casket funeral. Formal, all black. It was raining by the time the casket was brought to the cemetery to be buried. She hasn't stopped crying since. His children ask her, where's dad, but all she can do is weep. Suicide is bad, kids

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What do you call a full refrigerator? A freezer

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A burglar broke into a house one night. He picked up a CD player to place in his sack and a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark, saying, "Jesus is watching you." He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, he shook his head, clicked the light on, and began searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, he heard, "Jesus is watching you." Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. "Did you say that?" he hissed at the parrot "Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you." The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?" "Moses," replied the bird. "Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of people would name a bird Moses?" "Devout Semites," the parrot replied.

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What did Sherlock Holmes say when he saw a very pretty lady? Hello

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An elephant walks into a bar..what the hell

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Why did the chicken lay an egg? Because she got knocked up.

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Why did the kid give a bad presentation in class? He knew basically nothing about the topic, and on top of that had a large erection.

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roses are red violets are blue you might think i can write poems but, bit i really really can't

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why did the chicken cross the road

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What do you get when you put white cheese in a blender and turn it on? White cheese.

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knock knock. who's there? no one. no one who? no one who?

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What did the priest say to Jesus when he revealed himself on Christmas morning? Happy birthday

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What's another word for a priest? Rapist

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A duck walks into a bar *************************** Later that day the homeless man had duck for dinner.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What does the Post Office have in common with a shoe store? Both provide goods and services in exchange for money.

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How do you take a Mexican's money? You can't because they have none.

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How do you find out the population of Mexico? The census.

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What's worse than stepping on chewing gum A clown throwing bricks at orphans

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GRAAAAAAAR.

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Why was john's balls itchy? Because he recently gained a severe infestation of pubic lice.

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There was an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman... They all died in a horrible train wreck.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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