Q-why did the dog run away? A-he was Michael vick's dog

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A horse walks into a bar and asks the bartender "why the long face?" The bartender replies "this is the fourth time this week a horse walked into my bar and every time it happened i have to clean up a bunch of horse pooh!"

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What's worse than dropping your phone in the toilet? Drinking only milk and honey for 7 days and then getting diarrhea while lying chained up completely naked with red fire ants going up your anus and all over your body while you get eaten alive in slow painfully miserable death

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your mother is so fat that her doctor advised her to stick to a strict diet and exercise routine to help her lose weight

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What do u get when you cross Napoleon and a stick of dynamite? A very bloody mess.

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Why did the cat land on it's back.... because its dead .......

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What's black, white, and red all over? Many different things are black, white, and red; to list just one would be an unfair judgment of things containing these three colors.

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why did the girl cross the road ? to get run over by a flee of running cows

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Why did Sara fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock.. Whose there? Not Sara

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Why did the baby cross the road? I don't know but it got hit by a semi during.

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What did the Atheist say in church? His best friend's eulogy.

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How do you stop 5 black guys from raping one white girl? You call the police.

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Chuck Norris can right-click with a mac mouse

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What's worse than losing your phone? Getting raped anal until phones fall out

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Why did the black man die? Because he fell off a cliff.

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What did the man do when he dropped his bar of soap. He picked it up

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My friend told me to break a leg before the show. I disobeyed him and injured no one. It's just a figure of speech.

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What happens when two elephants go out in the rain? They get wet.

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What's worse then biting into an apple and finding a worm? Finding half a worm and wondering where the other half is. o.O

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Life is like a box of chocolates, quite strange to enjoy when you're single.

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what should you say when your mates nan is in hospital with a broken leg??? ha ha my nan can stand up shes just genetically better

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What's worse then 1 bee sting? -2 Bee stings. What's worse then 2 bee stings? -The Holocaust. What's worse then the Holocaust? -3 Bee stings.

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How did Barry Bonds break the career homerun record? A combination of natural ability, practice, and a plethora of performance enhancing drugs.

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i have yougurt with tractor

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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