Knock Knock Who's There? No One You're Crazy

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Why couldn't little Johnny drive the tractor? Because he had no arms. Why didn't he have any arms? Because he was a potato

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What was the beauty pageant contestant with a bladder control problem told by the judges? You’re an 8.

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What did God say to Abraham? Nothing, because God doesn't exist.

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Knock-Knock The man wasn't home, so there was no answer.

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How do you creep out a clown? Pet him softly and call him kitty kat while making a guttural sound that is not socially acceptable in mainstream American society.

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Roses are red. I had no clue. I like pie. So screw you.

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An Asian woman is driving home from work. She gets in an accident and is killed instantly. Her family is traumatized.

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How do you drown a blonde. I recommend that you do not drown a blonde because it is a felony. You could face 30-35 years in prison.

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Q. Where do snowmen keep their money? A. A snowman is an anthropomorphic snow sculpture made of frozen water. They therefore cannot earn, keep or have any use for money.

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Why do people play video games? Because audio games are not as fun.

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A businessman notices an attractive woman sitting at the end of the bar so he buys her a drink. She kindly accepts and spends a few minutes making pleasant conversation with him. When she's finished with her drink, she promptly begins to flirt with another man at the bar who's not twenty years older than her and horribly out of shape. The middle-aged businessman, realizing his own mortality, proceeds to spend the rest of the evening drinking himself into vortex of loneliness.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Banana Oh good I thought you wouldn't make it.

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Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

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What would Michael Jackson do if he saw a naked child alone in an alleyway? It is unknown, as he cannot be asked about this hypothetical scenario due to his passing in 2009.

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Whats helped us not be mad at Osama Binladen. His death.

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What does spongebob do to get high. Nothing, spongebob doesnt exsist.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she has no arms

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Q: What's small, round, and looks like a marble? A: A marble.

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Why are roses red ? Ass in my face .

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A. Why did John survive the plane crash? B. Because he was master chief and he is awesom although cortana did not which John is sad about naturally.

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I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Because she is blind.

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? To go to work. And be sexually harassed. For 70 cents on the dollar.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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