What does a penguin and a watermelon have in common? They all come from Earth.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What did the monkey say to the garbage collector? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAA

thumb_up thumb_down +13

24

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Find the b dddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddd

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No Neither has he!

thumb_up thumb_down +11

How much did the Holla Cost?

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What did the Atheist say in the church? His best friend's eulogy.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

- Knock Knock - Whos there? - No one

thumb_up thumb_down +18

a man asked another man what time its it. The man responded by telling him the time and asking why he wanted to know. "thats none of your business" he replied. Why did he say it was none of his business? A- because it was none of his business.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What did the pencil say to the pen? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What's worse than a worm in your apple? The holocaust What's worse than the holocaust? Two worms in you apple what worse than 2 worms in your apple? Two holocausts

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Your mother is so fat that she got diabetes and later died of an unrelated illness.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

George Washington, a priest, a nazi and a jew are on a plane that's going to crash. There is only one parachute. George Washington says "For my country" and jumps off without a parachute. The priest says "For God" and jumps off without a parachute. The nazi says "For Hitler" and pushes the jew off and takes the parachute.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why didnt the guy eat cereal? Cause he didnt have any

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Have you heard the one about the fat woman and the dead baby? The woman was actually pregnant, not fat, and just had a miscarriage.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why could a fat man not do a barrel roll? He has already to many rolls.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Why couldn't little Billy fall asleep. Because Billy didn't have any counting skills to be able to coins sheep

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Matrix if it had been with (as planned at some stage) with Will Smith. Normal Neo: Yes trinity lets find the others. Smith Neo: Yo pretty lady, lets go find them ho`s and chicken and stuff, then we can like go surfin and driving nuts and all that crackin stuff and then we etc etc. Normal Neo:... Smith Neo: You tellin ME this is your world Smith? Im Anderson yo and the one, Im gonna bitchmack you all and then just whoop you all with my master blaster no kidding buddy I have yellow belt Kung fu yo! Neo: We have to do something. Smith Neo; Yo unless we make a real rap video first we cant do the proper stuff you, why is this place all so green, get some colaaas! Seriously first we get carlton and then he dances his crazy dance while I go boyAAAAAAAAAAAAAAZ with my rap ok?

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A Mexican walked into a bar. He never came back out.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

a man touches girls butt ...... she sharts her pants

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What do a fish and a frog have in common? They can both live in water. Its a well known fact.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What do you call a group of geese? A giggle

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What's the difference between a dead baby and a watermelon? I don't cum on my watermelon before I eat it.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

An incoming freshman introduces himself to his Ethics professor by saying, "What's up?" To which the professor responds, "You should never end a sentence with a preposition." The freshman, who is both clever and witty, quickly responds to his future Professor, saying: "Professor, I practice linguistic description, such that I observe language objectively in a way that does not adhere strictly to grammatical and syntactic dogma". The professor, surprised by the student's philosophical disposition, engages the student in a highly constructive dialogue about the philosophy of language, from which both the student and teacher learn more about each other and themselves.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops