What's black and blue and hates sex? The ten year old in my trunk

What do you get when you cross a turtle and a kangaroo? A hybrid combination of the two that is characterized by specific traits of both animals.

Why did the man go to the barber? To get a haircut

How did Harry potter open the door? He had the key

A terrorist gets on a plane. He has a pleasant flight and gets off in a new country.

Q. What does the pencil and the basketball have in common? A. They both are made from wood, except for the basketball.

"What is the sound of one hand clapping?" "I'm not quite sure, but your on fire."

Women's rights.

Why was the boy embarrassed when he opened his parents' bedroom door? Because he had been trying the door for several minutes until he realized he was pushing instead of pulling.

A baby seal walks into a club.

A n antelope walks into a bar and many people leave for the sake of their safety and animal control gets called to escort the antelope out of the bar.

why do chairs recline Because they were built that way!!!!

What's the difference between a leopard and a coffee table? There is no difference. They both have four legs.

why hppened when the little boy failed his math test? He cut off his penis, shaved his head and hung himself

"Hello." "Hi."

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread

Why wasn't Will invited to the party? Will has been dead for 3 years.

Yo mama is so old, she might die soon! - Louis

There is my brain said the English man stop leaving it in the fridge and let me mug you now get in the car OK!

I like my coffe like my women Without a Penis

What do you call an Amerindian who finished medical school? A doctor.

Knock knock GET OUTTA HERE! Jesus Christ dude I just came for some eggs!....

what did the drunk man say to the bar tender? Hello good sir. Fine day today isn't it.

I'm funny.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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