A man walks into a bar He wakes up from his coma 21 years later and learns that humans now serve pumpkins as gods.

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how many Arabs and Jews can you fit on a bus? The bus in question is a 56 seater,so 56. If you cram some people in the aisles you could probably fit 65 if you didn't care about anyone's comfortability sheesh you might even for in 100 or more.

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What did the red fish say to the blue fish? Nothing fish can't talk.

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Dave. Dave who? Dave proceeds to break into tears as his grandmother's Alzheimers has progressed to the point where she can no longer remember him.

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Why did the girl fall off the stage? Someone shot her.

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why did the man scream? he stubbed his toe on a door

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Do you want to hear a funny joke? Me too.

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A black man was walking down the street wearing a ski mask. It was cold outside.

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what comes in tube and smells like toothpaste? toothpaste

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Q: Whats the difference between a pile of dead babys and a Ferrari? A: I dont have a Ferrari in my garage.

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yo mama so fat she has diabetes.

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i was driving home after work but i had to stop because an old lady wanted to cross the road..... the old lady was abused by her father as a child, and had Alzheimer's

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Why does Joel's breathe smell?

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whats worse than the Holocaust....6 million Jews

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What's brown and sticky? Dog turd

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a dog in your apple

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What's the difference between unicorns and black people? That whole slavery thing.

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What do a duck and a bike have in common? They both have handle bars except for the duck

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I once was told that life is like a box of chocolates, but then realized that it wasn't

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A man waltzes into a bar, waving a carrot in the air. With an arrogant air of self-importance he flops onto a highchair at the bar. Looka here, looka here, he says to the bartender, waiving the carrot at the man. Will you buy me drinks all night, if I can make this carrot... Never mind, and please leave my bar, the bartender says, pulling out a carrot from under the counter. I've got one myself.

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Why didn't the hungry woman get up and make herself some food? She has Lou Gehrig disease and any movement she makes results in excruciating pain.

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Q. What do black people, Asians, and Irishmen call their moms? A. "Mom"

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Whats the difference........ between a duck?

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Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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