A horse walks into a bar and orders a double whiskey. The bar man says "what's with the long face"? The horse replies "My wife left me, took the kids with her, took everything, I'm devastated"

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What kind of pizza did the world trade center order? Two cheese pizzas.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What was the last thing that went into the head of the space pilot of the Challenger shuttle right before it crashed? He was probably thinking about his wife and family...

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Yo momma so stupid she tried drowning a gold fish. She got accused for animal cruelty.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do you call someone who kills a black person? A cop

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do you call a gay black man? Whatever his name happens to be

thumb_up thumb_down -8

what has two feet and is black all over? your mom after she died in a horrific house fire.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How do you get 100 midgets into a Mini? You have to manufacture a Mini large enough to accommodate 100 midgets. It wouldn't be street-legal, but at least the problem of getting 100 midgets into a Mini is solved

thumb_up thumb_down -3

96

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why didn't the pro-choice, pregnant woman have an abortion? It was a planned pregnancy.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

knock knock who's there Bob I don't know you Bob and if you don't get off my porch this minute i'm calling the authorities.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did the chicken say to the dog? Well, since chickens can't talk, they both stood there in an awkward silence.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Two Christians are on their way to church. They stay for prayers and have a lovely lunch.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm colorblind.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

2 + 2 = fish

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why don't chicken wear underwear? Because their peckers are on their face

thumb_up thumb_down -15

my computer teacher just left the room. teehee JLR

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why was the dwarf nicknamed The Anaconda? Because everybody loves a bit of irony.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

How many licks does it take to got to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop? 357

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Not from my wife if that is what you think, but its best people dont know who she is, because you know... A guy that gets many ladies = A playa. A girl that lets his guy do that, well, my wife feels safe about her husband (I am dead honest), but I cant expect people to suddenly go "oh yeah, his wife is totally cool and secure about it all, rather than an insecure idiot that allows him to sleep around like the dog he is) Strictly spoken, I am no dog, women say all men are pigs, but no woman settles for a boy, so that makes me a pig.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What Do You Call A Man On Land With No Arms And Legs? Useless

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Yo Mama is so dumb, that she scored significantly below average on the SAT's.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A Christian, a Sunni Muslim, and a Shi'a Muslim walked into a government building. Turns out, they were Lebanese, so this was a normal occurrence. Thus, to draw any humor from it before first taking into account the weaknesses of your own government would be both unwise and unfair.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What is worse than the Holocaust? Women's sports

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops