Hush, little baby, don't say a word, Mama's going to buy you a mockingbird. If that mockingbird won't sing, Mama's going to buy you a another mockingbird.

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Why wasn't the unplugged computer on?

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How much cocaine did Charlie Sheen take? Enough to kill Two and a Half Men.

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How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Only one, but he may forget to finish the task due to his Alzheimer's.

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What day is it today? It's "Jack Daniels Day" according to that guy with the shopping cart filled with kittens.

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Why did the little girl fall from the swing? She's got no arms.

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Why does Magic Johnson have to use extra-large condoms? Because he's got a giant dick and HIV.

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what did the deaf guy say when the poor man asked how life was? the deaf guy didn't respond considering the fact that he was deaf and would never interact with a poor man.

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knock knock who's there? me josh! come in.

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Do you know what would happen if Hitler was still alive today. Nothing he's not.

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Yar! What be a pirate's favorite football team? The Steelers. I'm originally from Pittsburgh.

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How do you know there's an elephant in your refrigerator? Look at your refrigerator.

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What's more horrible than Twilight? Hitler.

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What if I told you.....potatoe

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How do you make a person cry? You bury them alive.

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An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

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Why was the priest circumcised? He had a very painful urinary tract infection

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You tell your mom she's a bitch and she later commits suicide by shooting herself in the head . Now, what's the only thing ductape can't fix? Your moms skull.

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Want to hear a joke? No.

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Build a man a fire and he will be warm for a night, set a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

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what is bad about being a black jew? you have to sit in the back of the oven

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What do u do when life gives u lemons?? Eat them

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What's worst than getting hit by a car. -Getting hit by a truck.

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-Your mom worked as a prostitute and died a virgin.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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