Q: Billy has 47 pieces of cake, he eats 38. What does he have left? A: Diabetes

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How do you get a Mother out of a tree? Ask them to come down, because it is really not socially acceptable for a responsible adult to be climbing trees.

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why is six afraid of seven? because seven ate nine

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A homosexual black man and a 13 year old child are in the shower at the local gym. The black man says to the boy "you dropped your soap, why don't you pick it up?" The boy promptly thanks the black man, picks up his soap and continues to shower.

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Whats the difference between Tina Turner and dead babies? I have never fu*ked Tina Turner before.

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THIS IS NOT SPARTA! *pulls him out of the hole*

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What time is it? If I hadn't poked your eyes out, you might know.

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the guy below me is gay

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. The Clouds are white. Thank God I am too.

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Knock knock Who's there? The bank. We've come to evict you from your house.

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Why did the guy throw a clock out of his window? Because he had mental issues.

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

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Why did Kim Kardashian's and Kris Humphries marriage last so long? It didn't

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Why was the boy crying? Because he got hit by a bus. Why did he get hit by a bus? Because his mom was laughing. Why was his mom laughing? Because she was driving the bus. Why was she driving the bus? Because the boy fell off a swing. Why did he fall off a swing? Because he didn't have any arms. Why didn't he have any arms? Because his diabetic monkey had the flu. Why did his diabetic monkey have the flu? Because the boy was crying.

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whats the differnce between a cadilack and a pile of dead babies? theres no cadilack in the back of my car1 >.>

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What did the Mexican man say to the black man? Hello, how are you today?

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I used to get on Facebook, then someone asked me to save a child in Africa by liking a picture of Jesus or ignore it and go to hell

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Shes been dead for some time now.

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why did the feminist cross the road? To suck my D***

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Why is the melon having a wedding? Because it cantaloupe.

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Why was the chicken angry? Because he was tired of everyone questioning his motives.

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What's blue and smells like red paint? That blue guy from Megamind.

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Why did the child with one arm shave his head? He is a swimmer.

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How long does it take a black woman to take a shit? Why in the world would you want to know something like that? But anyway, the answer is somewhere, on average, between 10 seconds and 15 minutes. It really varies and conditions like irritable bowel syndrome and constipation affect this range. Actually it takes about 9 months.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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