What did the cat say to the dog? - meow!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken never made it across the road because it was hit by a car with a driver who is obsessed with abusing animals.

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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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If life hands you lemons your probably hallucinating.

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why did Lucy fall down? she got hit with a hammer

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What did the black say when an asian knocked him out? Nothing, he was knocked out

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How do you make a plumber cry? I'm sorry but our princess is in another castle.

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Knock knock. Why do you say the words "knock knock" without actually knocking on the door?

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A child is in class. He really has to go to the bathroom. The teacher tells him if he can recite the alphabet, he can go to the bathroom. The kid holds his breath and goes A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z. The teacher tells him good job and allows him to go to the bathroom. When the kid got there there was a man waiting in the stall who brutally raped and murdered the boy. when the teacher noticed the boy was gone for a long time, he went to check on him. When the teacher saw the dead naked body of the boy hanging from the ceiling, he shot himself. The teacher had a family of a wife and 3 sons. The principal of the school had to call the Wife and let her know about the tragedy. The principal also thought this would be a good time to tell the wife that her husband has been having a homosexual affair with him. The wife takes her three sons and drives off a bridge. They all die minus one son (age 14) who had to grow up on the street with other homeless men. He became addicted to crack and when he ran out of places to get money from he decided to rob his old home. He broke into the house and didn't know that a new family has moved in, a married couple and their 1 year old baby. He doesn't want to go to jail, so he kills the baby, spreads the blood all over the parents, ties the dad up and makes him watch his wife get raped, then he shoots the parents before putting the gun on himself. A police officer who responded to the scene had a heart condition and the scene of the crime caused him to have a heart attack. But, he got to the hospital in time and lived.

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Why was the women's underwear red?... Because she got stabbed.

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Why is the boy lying down on the floor? The chandelier fell on him.

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She look like Ms. Universe and I'm bout to be in that black hole

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How many fat people does it take to screw in a light bulb? Three. One to hold the ladder, another to screw it in. The third one stands to the side, just in case it breaks.

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What do you call a dog with no legs? Disabled.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have to go to the bathroom.

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Why is limety snicket a kike pussy? cuz will ferrell shit in his asshole

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What do you get when you cross Justin Bieber and One Direction? A bunch of gay pop stars.

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Three blind mice go into a pub, but they are unaware of their surroundings so to derive humour from it would be exploitative.

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Why was Six afraid of Seven. Seven was in a horrible car accident recently and became very disfigured. He didn't tell Six, so the initial shock of seeing him for the first time was quite jarring for Six. Seven has had multiple surgeries since and, once the swelling recedes, he should look much better. It will still hurt for him to chew though.

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why did the boy eat his lunch money? it was his lunch!

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Why did the boy show off his ps4? Because his mom was rapped and murdered And his dad molested him when he was younger

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lick my ballsack.... ok

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Q.whats the differecne between a bicycle? A. orange,...a vest dont got no sleeves.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Jehovah's Witness

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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