What's 18 inches long and makes women scream all night? Cot death.

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Me "knock knock" Tramp "who's there" Me "nobody you havent got a door"

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A man and his friend walk into a bar. The first man says "I'll have some H2O." The second man, quite thirsty, says "I would like some H2O too." The second man dies because the bartender is a serial killer and gave the man the hydrogen peroxide he ordered. The first man is killed with a shovel.

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Why did the alien cross the road. To get to his ship.

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A man shaves at least 3 times a week, yet he has the longest beard in town, how is that possible? He shaves his head because he's embarrassed about his rampant and patchy balding.

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Why did the giraffe fall over? Because I shot it with a bowling ball cannon,

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Why was the chipmunk watching TV? Because a new Family Guy was on.

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Yo Mama is so old that she is probably unable to become pregnant.

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Q: What's worse than 5,000,000 African Americans being killed? A: 1 White person being killed

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What's the only thing a Black Hole can't absorb? Nothing. It absorbs everything, even light.

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I have 13 hedge hogs in one hand and 4 pineapples in my van how many pikelets does it take to cover the roof. Purple because aliens dont wear hats.

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What'd the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? Just Dance 2 the video game

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why did the chicken cross the street? he couldn't, he lives in a rural area on a farm where there are no streets

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there are two wales chilling at a bar one looks at the other and does a wale call for 2 minutes and the other looks back and say "dude your drunk we gotta go!"

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? This joke.

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What do you call an anti joke website? http://anti-joke.com

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A Muslim on a plane yells out "Hijack!" Jack replies with "Hello" and the two engage in a casual conversation for the duration of the flight.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Cos it wanted to.

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Your mother is so fat the she is clinically obese.

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how do you know when you're a man? massive erection.

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whats up with the irish jokes? Honestly im not a alcoholic so all of you can go F*** yourselfs...

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What did Hitler say to Obama Nothing because Hitler is dead.

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What did the man screem before he crashed his car? i dont know, he died.

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A man walks into a bar, He is a severe alcoholic and is slowly drowning himself in booze. The man exits the bar after several hours of heavy drinking and walks home. He enters his home to discover a man in bed with his wife. After the first ten seconds of paralyzing rage, he grabs a .44 Magnum and brutally murders his wife and her bed mate. The man realizes he has woken up his two month old, and after thinking of the horrible act he has committed, he promptly raises the pistol to his temple and pulls the trigger. Oh, I almost forgot, the man was schizophrenic and has never been married.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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