What's better then petting a lion? Petting a lion and not getting eaten

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What happens when u mix water and soda? You get watery soda

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What do blondes do when they hurt themselves ? They say "Ow", just like anyone else.

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A white police officer pulled over a black guy on the highway. The cop asked him for license and registration. The black guy had a tail light out, and was very polite and cooperative. The two became close friends, but then one night, the black guy went to the house of the white cop. The black guy brought his wife and daughter over for a dinner party, eating grilled turkey sandwiches with mayonnaise. When the cop's attractive wife asked the black guy if he would like some fresh watermelon from the patch in their back yard, he respectfully declined, for he needed to return to his own home to patiently wait for a business call from one of his employees, who was also a very intelligent and hard working African male. Once home, the black guy turned on his stereo, to listen to some calming country music at an appropriately low level of volume, as his daughter and wife had gone to sleep, for the wife also had work in the morning, at her law firm, and her daughter had a job interview after her day of classes at Dartmouth were out for the day... then Martin Luther King Jr. woke up from his dream, and was soon thereafter assassinated.

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What's funnier than an knock knock joke???? Dancing narwhals pooping talking soup

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Why did the fish cross the road? Because fish don't have legs and can't walk anywhere

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What happens if you punch a girl? An equal rights protest.

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What do you call a prostitute with no arms and legs? Unfortunate, as they've probably have many misfortunes in life.

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no pen = no studying no studying = bad grades bad grades = no job no job = no money no money = no food no food = death DON'T LOSE YOUR PEN

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Take my wife. . . . to the hospital. She is dying from a gunshot wound to the head.

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Why did the Asian Kid pass his test? He studied hard.

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What do you get when you mix hydrochloric acid and a humans digestive track? Death.

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What do you call a black man inside a house that is on fire? A fire fighter as well as a hero since he was probably inside the house searching for anyone who was trapped inside

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Why did the black man cross the road? To get to the barber shop, which was located on the other side of the road. He then walked to the crosswalk, patiently waited, then crossed when the little person lit up.

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What's red and invisible? No Tomatoes

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Why did the mother tell her son to get a job. She was tired of buying Generic brand food.

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Why is there a black president? Cause you voted for him. Thanks! Dick.

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a man walks into a bar... and he says 'ouch!'

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You know what rhymes with school? Hell.

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How many filthy niggers does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, because I killed off all the filthy niggers.

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What do you call an elephant and a rhino mixed? Ahellifiknow.

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How many dead babies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Because they're dead, they cant screw in a light bulb. Even if they were alive, it would be highly improbable that a baby could screw in a light bulb.

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once you go black your credit goes wack

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how many strippers can you fit into a garage? as many as you wanted depending on the size of the garage, but after so many gathered in the same building it is a good probability that some strippers would leave.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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