Dude, you're never going to guess how stupid my friend Philip is! Really? What did he do?? Nothing. Philip will be attending the prestigious Princeton University next year and is therefore an incredibly intelligent human-being. You're an idiot for believing me.

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? Because he had no arms.

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There was porn on the Internet I masturbated to it, but my parents caught me, and I can't ever leave the house again until I'm 18.

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What did the computer say to the mouse? Nothing inanimate objects cant talk

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If a guy has a sex change what is the first thing he would say? Boobies!

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ding dong thats right no knock on door anymore

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What's the difference between unicorns and black people? Years of slavery.

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Why didn't Sally go to the party? Because everybody hates her and she wasn't invited.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? No one knows because humans do not have the capability of accessing the chickens brain to receive their knowledge and what they were thinking about in the past.

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I <3 Hitler

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What did Kermit the frog say at Jim Henson's funeral? Nothing.

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Why are humans and squirrels the same? They both live in trees except for the human

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a blond a her blond boyfriend were walking acrossed a river. she gose over the river but the ramp brecks when she's past. her boyfriend says wait until night and I'll get a flashlight and shine it acrossed get on the light beem and walk acrossed.she says no when I'm haf way acrossed you will turn the light off.

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it was dead.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Somebody pushed it

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Why did the elephant fall out of the tree? Because the branch broke.

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Kenny G

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A dog walked into a bar. The bartender barked at the dog and the dog replied with, "I don't speak dog language."

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give me thumbs up or i'll rape u to death

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Henry VIII: I need another wife!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thomas Wolsey: All right then. How about my nan? Henry VII: I'm dead!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :~D

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What did the gay man die of? Obesity.

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why did abby get fired? cause she showed allie anti joke.com!!! :0

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What did the penguins get for Christmas? A hang-glider What did the polar bears get for Christmas? Death, The Holocaust, Global Warming, and all of Steven King's books.

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i have a pet duck, when i take it a bath i use cold water, if i use hot water it and i drop a carrot in the tub it will think im cooking it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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