Why did the chicken cross the road?... To get to the other side.

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A panda walks into a bar and orders a beer and a hamburger. After he eats he stands up stretches and pulls out a gun shooting everyone in the room but the bartender. The panda puts $20 on the bar and turns to leave. As he walks out the door the bartender asks why the panda shot everyone. The panda tells him to look in the encyclopedia. The bartender looks up panda and he reads: "A rare bearlike mammal (Ailuropoda melanoleuca) of the mountains of China and Tibet, having woolly fur with distinctive black and white markings. Also called giant panda, panda bear." Seeing absolutely nothing in this description that would rationalize the homicides the panda had just committed, the bartender arrived at the reasonable conclusion that the panda was psychotic and having severe psychological problems which probably caused the incident. The bartender couldn't help but wonder if this tragedy could've been avoided had the panda been properly screened for schizophrenia and guns been properly secured in a safe at the panda's mother's house.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Roses are red, Violates are blue. I have an erection, and its lasted more then three hours

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? Anything you like, he's blind.

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I've got a tip for the ladies. Or if you like I can put the whole thing

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What happens when you feed a Mini-horse a Happy Meal? If it doesn't die choking on the plastic toy included in the meal, It will most likely develop a terminal case of horse diabetes and suffer through a slow painful dying process.

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Why was the blonde on the train tracks? Because she was tied up by a madman on crack.

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Why did the lemon eat salt? I DON'T KNOW!!

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A dyslexic man sells his soul to Santa.

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Yo mama so fat that she probably has a thyroid problem.

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what do you call a black man wearing a makeup? A clown

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whats worse than the holocaust? 2 holocausts. whats worse than 2 holocausts? i rotten banana. whats worse than a rotten banana? 2 rotten bananas.

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Your mother is so average in weight and in attractiveness.

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Yo momma so ugly just after she was born, her mother said, "What a treasure!" and her father said, "Yea, let's go bury it!"

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What did Delaware? A coat.

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Why couldn't the little girl see in the dark? She had no eyes.

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What looks like mud, smells like mud and eats mud? An African

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the WNBA

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Why is there so much hate in the world? Because you touch yourself at night.

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What does Snoop Dogg eat when he's sick? Chicken Noodle Snoop.

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So the docter saw the girl had a "M" on her chest during surgery. He asked her if he had a boyfreind from Michigan. She said "no, but i have a girlfreind from winsconsin, why do u ask?"rf

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Your face

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What happened to the alligator who waled into a bar? He was killed and skinned by swamp hunters in Louisiana.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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