What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Marla should be home by now, it's nearly 6." He was unaware he had lost his tractor until the next morning.

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Beans, beans good for the heart, the more you eat the more likely you are to grow into a healthy young man/woman with low risk of heart disease.

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what`s green and flys a plain i was kidding about the green

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You know what makes no cents? 100 cents because 100 cents make a dollar.

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Why did the boy fall of his bike? Becuase he was hit by a couch.

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Where did susie go after the explosion? everywhere. What was susie after the explosion? a puzzle.

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knoc knock! who's there? poo on! poo on who? you!

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The teacher asked: If you have two apples, and I give you two, how many do you have now? FOUR said the student.

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? The light was red, which prompted the chicken to cross safely.

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Brittney Spears

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whats the difference between a joke and the holocaust? ...There both funny..Exept for the Holocaust.

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What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? They're all gone!

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What do you get when you cross a grizzly bear and a dolphin? Well, the odds of these two animals mating are slim to none. Due to the undeniable fact that dolphins live in the ocean primarily in the warmer tropical waters and grizzly bears live on land in the pacific northwest where the water would be too cold for the dolphin anyway. The dolphin would be swimming around avoiding sharks and the bear would probably be eating a salmon. But if they did breed you would get a dolphinbear. Although a dolphinbear would have a very low chance of survival given it's part dolphin. Dolphins are pussies.

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what is worse than bitting into your apple and finding a worm? 9/11

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What did one Rhino say to the other? My, I'm sure glad we found this decadent watering-hole.

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Why was Little Billy crying? He had cancer. Why was Little Sally crying? Little Billy's cancer was contagious.

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How do you knock a clown off a swing? Hit it with an axe multiple times.

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Once their was an ugly barnacle. He was sooooo ugly that everyone died! The end. :D

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How do you get a Hooker Wet? Dump her in a River.

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Batman vs Superman the movie spoilers: Batman and Superman argue over how to handle some alien invaders, Batman wants to kill em, Superman believes he can save em. In the end they work together and save everybody. Moral: I hope they change the script, ever noticed how every hero vs hero themed movie/cartoon, ends up with them allying at the end? If ya do not believe me, just wait for the movie to come out.

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What do you call a cat that growls? A cat

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What did the average man say the the bird? HOODINI

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What black and blue and red all over? My mom after my dad comes back from the bar.

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A n antelope walks into a bar and many people leave for the sake of their safety and animal control gets called to escort the antelope out of the bar.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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