what do you call a bomb in a plane? A dangerous threat to lives

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Did you hear the one about the flying turtle? No? Okay I'll tell you about it. So one day there was a flying turtle. His name was Larry and he was a turtle that can fly. However, nobody believed that Larry can fly and he wanted to prove it. So the next day George, who was a flying octopus, called Jerry on his cell phone and told him a story about a Larry. Jerry, who was a media reporter, was so offended by his story and called the police. Question: What did the police say? Nothing because it was a made up story

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Heheheheh, Good one, you made me laugh, you just made me realize that it was indeed I that said that to you once, and now you are telling me. I know now, I am happy, not because I seek happiness, but because thinking, finding solutions, guiding myself and others, is what makes me happy. I feel like an alien, because my ideals, my solutions hopes and dreams that grow out of a result of my constant thinking, will never be in this world. Yet I also feel human now, because it could have been, humanity could have succeeded...

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What do you call a dumb friend? Sam.

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A guy walks into a restaurant and sits down only to realize he is not wearing any pants. Immediately the police are called and arrest the man for indecent exposure. Given there were children in the restaurant at the time, the man is also charged as level 3 sex offender and is held on $100,000 bail. His family receives the news and become the talk of the town. His wife commits suicide from embarrassment, leaving her 10 year old son up for adoption who later gets involved with drugs due to his rough childhood.

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How does he keep getting girls to sleep with him? Bear-traps..

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Did you hear about Big Chief Running Water? Probably not. Indoor plumbing was invented after Europeans murdered his ancestors.

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im gay

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What's the difference between Dick Cheney and Obama? When Obama shoots someone in the face it's bin Laden.

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How many Alzheimer patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? To get to the other side.

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Holy crap it's a talking muffin!

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Whats worse than finding 2 worms in your apple? 2 Holocausts.

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There was once a guy who was so crazy...he was sectioned.

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Two men walk into a bar. The third man ducks. The rest of the bar patrons are thoroughly confused.

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what's worse than being attacked by a giant ant? being attacked by two giant ants

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>posts joke >mistaken for anti-joke

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A black man says "ask" correctly.

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Q: What does Chinese look like? A:Chinese

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Did you hear the one about Helen Keller? No. Well neither did she.

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What do an eagle and a off-white light bulb have in common? Nothing.

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What's the difference between 10,000 dead babies and a Farari? I don't have a Farari in my garage.

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Q. Why did the chick go to KFC? A. To visit his mother

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What happened when the chicken got to the other side of the road? It didn't, it got hit by a car.

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What's big, brown, and full of crap? A septic tank.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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