A man stepped on a nail. He died shortly after of lockjaw.

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How do you stop the baby from touching the stove? Cut of its arms.

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Fuck off, seriously, if your name is Tifa, my name is bah, I got better things to do.

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Why couldn't the man walk? He didn't have any legs.

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A Jew and a German walk in a bar. they've accepted their peoples past and learned to move on with their lives

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Who enforces the law strongly and forces people to obey them? Terrorists that have seized control of a town.

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Whats blind and deaf? Hellen Keller.

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2 penguins in a tub. one looks to the other an says, "pass the bar of soap." the other looks at him.."what do you think i am, a typewriter?"

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your mom was so fat that she died.

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Bob:well Joe, its been tough latley, I hats my life Joe: I don't give a tuck, ur retarded, you have never had any friends and I am sure that the school will have a pep fest when u hang ur self in ur bedroom. So go now! I don't know why u even r talking to me and I don't know why I am responding

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What 2 differences does a potato have in common? They both have very thin skin.

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A fat man takes a crap, it looked like something a rhino would curl out.

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Jess Burns

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What blue and red? poop in a saggy bag

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What do you call a panda without a head? Dead.

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What did the cricket say to the fox? Cricket.

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Q: what's red, green and goes over 100 miles per hour? A: a frog in a blender

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A man works at a Doritos factory hes worked there for a few weeks and hes made the most Doritos in his line now and the head of the company gives him a promotion he now runs his own line a few months later the head of the company bob comes back to him and promoted him again to now our friend Carl is head of the Factory about two years later bob comes to Carl and hes promoted to head of the east coast he is head of 27 Factories about a decade later bob asks Carl if when he retires Carl will take over the company and he accepts bobs offer 23 years pass and bob retires Carl is the new head of the company so he is about like 65 at this point and he wants some wine so him and his buddies go for some wine Dan says Carl this lines two long so they decide to have some soda and then Jason says this lines longer then the last one so Aiden says to Carl why don't we go get some punch so they all got into line but there was no punch line a.w. j.p.

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whats funny and has four wheels? A handicapped 11 year old boy getting raped by his father

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? A vast quantity of things.

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i tell you whats funny......... what? a fat sudanese man

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Guy 1: "Smells like UpDog in here." Guy 2: "No it doesnt.."

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What's worse than blowing out 1 lightbulb Blowing out 2 lightbulbs

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What do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex with a woman? Intercourse.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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