Why wouldn't the girl clean her room? She was paralyzed.

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If Jimmy had 5 apples and his brother had 5 apples then their father would have been married to their mother before they were born.

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Paul howley can't drive, phahahaha

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What do you call an Arab flying a plane? A pilot. *BOOM* Never mind, he was a terrorist.

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Hey look i just made a jo... shit.

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A man wakes up after only one hour of sleep due to his insomnia. He starts to cry because his wife just passed away and his parents were recently killed in a car accident. The man gathers his composure, takes a shower, and drives to his minimum wage job. He was expelled from high school for an assault he didnt even commit and has no money to get an education. At work, he accidentally drops a box of valuable, fragile electronic parts and gets fired by his boss. He goes home to his dirty 1 bedroom apartment and contemplates suicide. He decides to wait as his favorite tv show is on. He turns on the tv to the news his show has been cancelled. The man, depressed, suicidal and alone, picks up his .22 and kills himself. There is no God.

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Q: why did the cookie go to the doctor??? A: because he was sick

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A paralyzed person walks into a bar.

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What happened to the boy after he ate a piece of Halloween candy? He died. It was laced with cyanide.

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How many ADHD kids does it take to change a light bulb? Let's go ride our bikes!

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What do you give the person who has everything? A 20$ gift voucher

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i like your face... HAHAHAHAH just kidding you make me want to projectile vomit.

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How did you know it was bedtime at Michael Jackson's house? When his clock's big hand met the little hand, usually at 10 or 11, though sometimes later if he had a concert that night.

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Is this the krusty Crab? No you idiot this is a phone!!!!!

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Knock knock! Knock knock!! Knock knock!!! Knock knock!!!! WHOSE THERE! Wait its a woodpecker

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Knock knock Who is there Banana Banana who Knock knock Who's there Banana Banana who Knock knock WHO'S THERE orange ...orange who Orange you glad I'm a cop here to tell you your family died in a horrible mask murdering and didn't say bannana again?

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What did the unicorn say to the horse? I have a horn and you don't.

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Uh, if I say that I am that girl, am I going to be safe?

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What is the difference between a Ferrari and 1,000 babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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Why did the fly get off the toilet? It got pissed off.

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What's the safest way to tell a racist joke? Ask everybody who might hear the joke if they would be offended by a racist joke.

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What happens if you accidentally say your best-male friend's name instead of your boyfriend's name during sex? Nothing, they're both named Adam.

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What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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Why didn't Susie do her reading homework? She is blind and her school system cannot Afford to teach her to read braille

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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