What is the different between going to church and reading a newspaper? You can take your shoes off when you read a newspaper.

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Q. How many Jews can you fit in a blender ? A. 37 but you can try and prove me wrong

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? If the socket were 20 feet in the air, it might take 4 blondes with really good balance. Then again, it might not matter how many blondes there are because there are no replacement light bulbs, the don't have transportation, and the nearest store is 10 miles away. In conclusion, I would say that the number of blondes it takes to screw in a light bulb is dependent on the individual situation at hand.

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What do you call a black guy with a gun? A police officer.

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So a blonde was trying to peel a banana, but she couldn't because she was viciously attacked by chimpanzees and had all her fingers bitten off

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What's green , has 4 legs and if it fell out of tree on you , would hurt you ? A Pool table

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Why was the girl crying? She prolapsed.

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"I'm terrible at writing jokes." -80% of the people on here.

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Alcatraz is reopened only for Kevin's ma

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What do you say to a woman with two black eyes? A: I'm sorry. I was raised in an abusive home and I never learned how to properly express my emotions. I'm going to seek professional counseling but in the meantime we should end our relationship for your safety.

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What did George Washington say before he crossed the Delaware? "Get in the boat."

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What's more depressing than watching a worm watching to worms

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Why did the maid have to clean feces off the wall? Because I shit cannoned it.

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why did the boy trip off a cliff? because he was clumsy.

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Like is like a penis long and easy. But women make it hard

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Three decapitated children walk into a bar..... If you are laughing at this....what the hell is wrong with you?

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What's so funny about losing the game? Nothing.

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What do you call a seven foot Egyptian named Randy who trains leopards to uproot floral cactuses? Randy.

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: It was dead Q: Why did the lizard fall out of the tree? A: It was stapled to the moneky

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How many jews does it take to stop hitler. no one knows they didn't

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What 2 differences does a potato have in common? They both have very thin skin.

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How did the bald lady die? Of cancer

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An American guy, Chinese guy, and Black guy are on a boat. Who jumps off first? Hopefully no one jumps off, especially because the ocean current is strong. They should call the coast guard if they are lost and find a safe way back to shore.

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A Jew walks on his way to work. He does not notice the quarter lying on the sidewalk and did not care for the dollar lying on the other side of the road.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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