Whats green and has wheels? Grass...i lied about the wheels

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Remember how I made you hypnotically cum by poking your own nose last time? When I told you that hypnotic story about the astrologer and the brain surgeon? So you wet yet? Think about how easy its going to be for me when I take out Mr.Big and slap down your coffee table with it, yeah... Feels cozy down there does it not?

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numbers just make the funniest antijokes

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Why do seagulls live by the sea? Because they wouldn't be able to live anywhere else.

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-Knock Knock -Who's there? -Peter

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Why does a squirrel have the tail at the back? Because at the front it's the squirrel.

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what happened to the autistic child that traveled to antarctica? he died.

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Do you know the joke about the two guys who went to Paris ? Me neither.

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I saw a Chinese guy and a black guy talking to each other today, it gave me hope... For another rush hour movie

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What's worse than eating a piece of elephant shit? Eating two pieces of elephant shit.

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A priest and rabbi walk into a bar. The priest leaves because they don't have wine.

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Anti-Joke Memes? That Shouldn't Be A Thing

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A little boy is going to school when he is stopped by a stranger. The stranger tells the little boy, when his teacher asks him why he is late, just say willytop. The boy looks at the stranger oddly, but proceeds to go to school. He arrives 5 minutes late, and is teacher isn't that happy. His teacher asks him why he is late. All the boy says is Willytop. The teacher looks at him horrified, and sends him to the office. Well, the boy arrives in the principals office, and the principal asks him why he was sent down. All the boy said was Willtop. The Principal was so horrified that he expelled the boy from school. Well, the boy went home, to find his parents in the living. They told the boy they knew he was expelled, but they wanted to know why. All the boy said was Willytop. The parents were so horrified by this that they kicked him out of the house. Well, the boy is now walking to dark town streets, when he is stopped by a cop. The cop asks him why he is walking the streets alone. All the boy says is Willytop. The cop is so disgusted, that he kicks the boy out of town. Well, the boy is now sitting in a bar, and the bartender asks him why he is alone. All the boy said was Willytop. The bartender looked at him horrified, but before the bartender could say anything, the boy says "Please sir, I was kicked out of school, my house and even my hometown because of willytop. what does it mean sir?" The bartender nods, and tells the boy to come with him across the street, because if he tells him in the bar, the other people may get mad. Well, the boy and the bartender are across the street from the bar. The bartender opens his mouth, but before he could speak, a drunk driver hits them both.

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Why didn't Timothy wish his dad a Happy Father's Day? His dad died yesterday in a car accident.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Butter. Butter who? Oh, um, sorry i forgot the rest...

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What do Tom Cruise and Santa Claus have in common? They're both Tom Cruise.

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What is human, went bankrupt eight times, got a small loan of a million dollars, and is over all a terrible person? Your probably thinking Donald Trump Well your correct.

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What's white or grey or brown or green or black or yellow or purple ? Could be almost anything, really.

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Ian From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia This article is about a given name. For other uses, see Ian (disambiguation). Ian Gender Male (rarely Female: some similar names can be) Origin Word/name Hebrew (via Scottish Gaelic) Meaning gift of god, god's gift Other names Related names John (masculine version of Jane: Hebrew for Siobhan), Ivan, Evian, Iana, Seonaidh Look up Ian in Wiktionary, the free dictionary. "Ian", "Iain"(/?i?.?n/; Scottish Gaelic pronunciation: [????n]) is a name of Gaelic origin, corresponding to English/Hebrew John. It is a very popular name in much of the English-speaking world and especially in Scotland, where it originated. Ian was the 19th most popular male name, taking account of the whole British population (over 300,000 Ians in total).[citation needed] The name has now fallen out of the top 100 male baby names in the UK, having peaked in popularity as one of the top 10 names throughout the 1960s,[1] while remaining roughly constant in popularity in the USA. Back in 1900, Ian was the 180th most popular male baby name in England and Wales.[2] The original form of the name 'Eóin' originated in the Irish language. Ian is an anglicisation of the Scottish Gaelic version of the name, 'Iain'. Popularity of the name 'Ian' in the USA Year Rank 2013 80 2012 78 2011 72 2010 72 2009 72 2008 80 2007 74 2006 80 2005 67 2004 69 2003 65 2002 67 2001 70 2000 73 Note: Rank 1 is the most popular, rank 2 is the next most popular, and so forth. Name data are from Social Security card applications for births that occurred in the United States. Source: Social Security Administration. See http://www.ssa.gov/OACT/babynames Other Gaelic forms of "John" include "Seonaidh" ("Johnny" from Lowland Scots), "Seon" (from English), "Seathan", and "Seán" and "Eoin" (from Irish). Its Welsh counterpart is Ioan and Breton equivalent is Yann. Contents [hide] 1 Notable Ians 1.1 As a first name (alphabetical by family name) 1.2 As a middle name 1.3 As a surname 2 Notable Iains 3 Fictional Iains 4 Fictional Ians 5 References 6 See also Notable Ians[edit] As a first name (alphabetical by family name)[edit] Ian Anderson – lead of rock band Jethro Tull Ian Astbury – singer of rock band The Cult Ian Bairnson – guitarist of The Alan Parsons Project and Pilot Ian Baker-Finch – golfer and 1991 British Open winner Ian Bannen – British actor Ian Willoughby Bazalgette – recipient of the Victoria Cross Ian Bell – English cricketer Ian Berry (disambiguation) Sir Ian Blair – former Head of the Metropolitan Police Service Ian Black (disambiguation) Sir Ian Botham – cricketer Ian Bolton – English footballer Ian Brady – Moors murderer Ian Bremmer – political scientist, author, entrepreneur Ian Broudie – singer in The Lightning Seeds, and music producer Ian Brown – singer and lyricist in The Stone Roses Ian Callaghan – Liverpool footballer with the most appearances Ian Callum – Design director for Jaguar Ian Carmichael – OBE, actor Ian Cashmore – broadcaster/presenter and paranormal investigator Ian Chappell – Former Australian cricketer Ian Charleson – Scottish/British actor Ian Clark (disambiguation) Ian Clyde – boxer Ian Collier – singer and actor Ian Cooper (disambiguation) Ian James Corlett – cartoon writer and voice actor Ian Crocker – swimmer Ian Curtis – singer and lyricist in Joy Division Ian Davis (disambiguation) Ian Desmond – Major League Baseball shortstop Ian Dury – singer and songwriter Ian Eagle – American sports announcer Ian Edmond – swimmer Ian Ferguson (disambiguation) Ian Flanagan – tennis player Ian Fleming – Novelist, creator of James Bond Ian Froman – South African-born Israeli tennis player and tennis patron Ian Frazier – writer and humorist Ian Gibson (disambiguation) Ian Gillan – lead singer of hard rock band Deep Purple Ian Gold – former American football player Ian Gomm – British guitarist and singer Ian Grist – British politician Ian Hallard - actor Ian Hamilton (disambiguation) Ian Harding – actor Ian Hart – actor Ian Haugland – Drummer for the band Europe Ian Healy – Former Australian Wicket-Keeper Ian Hecox – comedian with Smosh Ian Henderson (Britain) – former head of secret police in Bahrain, accused of torture Ian Henderson (ABC) – Australian news presenter Ian Henderson (football) – current Norwich City F.C. player in the FA Premier League Ian Henderson (rugby league) – Scottish rugby hooker who plays in Australia Ian Hicks (disambiguation) Ian Hill – Bassist for metal band Judas Priest Ian Hislop – Satirist and editor of Private Eye Ian Holm (born 1931) – British actor Ian Hornak – painter Ian Hunter – singer of Mott the Hoople Ian Huntley – double murderer Ian James – Olympic athlete Ian Joyce – American soccer player Ian Kennedy – Major League Baseball pitcher Ian Kershaw – historian Ian Kinsler – Major League Baseball second baseman Ian "Lemmy" Kilmister – singer/bass player in Motörhead Ian Krankie – entertainer Ian Lambert – educator Ian Laperrière – hockey player Ian Lavender – actor Ian Law – Australian footballer Ian Oswald Liddell – recipient of the Victoria Cross Ian Livingstone – author Ian Lorimer – television director Ian Lucas – politician Ian MacArthur – politician Ian MacDonald - author Ian MacKaye – musician Ian Mahinmi – basketball player Ian Martin (disambiguation) Ian Matthews – member of Fairport Convention and notable solo musician, reverted in 1989 to Iain Matthews Ian Matthews – drummer for Kasabian Ian Maxtone-Graham – television writer and producer Ian McCaskill – weather forecaster Ian McConville – webcomic artist of Mac Hall and Three Panel Soul Ian McCulloch – actor Ian McCulloch – singer in the band Echo & the Bunnymen Ian McCulloch – snooker player Ian McDiarmid – actor Ian McDonald – British musician, best known for being a member of both King Crimson and Foreigner Ian McEwan – novelist Ian John McKay – recipient of the Victoria Cross Sir Ian McKellen (born 1939) – actor Ian McLagan – English musician, best known for being a member of both Small Faces and Faces Ian McMillan – poet Ian McMillan – Scottish footballer Ian McShane – actor Ian Messiter – creator of Just a Minute Ian Moran – hockey player Ian Morris – Irish professional footballer Ian Morrison (disambiguation) Ian Morton - English cricketer Ian Mosley – drummer for Marillion Ian Murdock – computer professional, creator of the Debian project Ian O'Brien – swimmer Ian O'Reilly, Irish actor Ian Paice – drummer of Deep Purple Ian Paisley – Protestant politician Ian Patterson – English footballer Ian Peck – English cricketer Ian Pooley – German DJ Ian Poulter – English professional golfer Ian Punnett - American radio broadcaster and priest Ian Rankin – Scottish novelist Ian Reed – Australian discus thrower Ian Reid (disambiguation) Ian Richards – British race walker Ian Richardson – Scottish actor Ian Robinson (disambiguation) Ian Ross (disambiguation) Ian Rush – Welsh international footballer Ian Sanders - cricketer for Edinburgh, Scotland Ian Sangalang - Filipino professional basketball player Ian Scheckter – former South African F1 driver. He is brother of Jody Scheckter and uncle of Tomas Scheckter. Ian Scott (disambiguation) Ian Smith (disambiguation) Ian Smith – ex Rhodesian Prime Minister Ian Snell – Major League Baseball pitcher Ian Somerhalder – actor Ian Stanley – British musician Ian Stewart (disambiguation) Ian Stone – comedian Ian Stuart Donaldson – vocalist and frontman of controversial British band Skrewdriver Ian Svenonius – American musician Ian Thornley – Canadian musician Ian Thorpe – Australian swimmer Ian Thomson (disambiguation) Ian "Sam" Totman – British guitarist Ian Van Dahl – Belgian artist Ian Walker – British sailor Ian Waltz – American discus thrower Ian Watkins (born 1977), former lead singer of the alternative metal band Lostprophets, and convicted pedophile. Ian H Watkins (born 1976), British pop singer and actor, former member of Steps Ian Weatherhead – English watercolor artist Ian West (disambiguation) Ian Wilmut – English embryologist, best known for cloning Dolly the sheep Ian Wilson (disambiguation) Ian Wood (disambiguation) Ian Woosnam – Welsh golfer Ian Wright – footballer Ian Donald Calvin Euclid Zappa – Birth name of musician Dweezil Zappa Ian Ziering – actor As a middle name[edit] Michael Ian Black – (often credited by his full name), American comedian Thomas Ian Nicholas – Actor and singer As a surname[edit] Janis Ian – singer and songwriter Scott Ian – stage name of Scott Ian Rosenfeld, guitarist with the metal band Anthrax Notable Iains[edit] Iain Archer – Northern Irish Singer-songwriter musician Iain Balshaw – MBE, English rugby player Iain Banks – Scottish writer Iain Black – British Columbia politician Iain De Caestecker – Scottish actor Iain Dowie – Northern Irish football manager Iain Durrant – Scottish footballer Iain Evans – South African field hockey player Iain Glen – Scottish actor, noted for his role in TV's Game of Thrones Iain Gray – Leader of Labour in the Scottish Parliament Iain Harnden – Zimbabwean hurdler Iain Lee – British comedian, TV presenter and radio presenter Iain Macleod – British politician Iain Macmillan – Scottish photographer, noted for his image of the Beatles walking across Abbey Road Iain David McGeachy – John Martyn, British singer-songwriter and guitarist Iain Paxton – Scottish rugby player Iain Smith – Scottish politician Iain Duncan Smith – Leader of the Conservative Party, 2001–2003 Iain Softley – film director Iain Stirling – TV presenter and comedian Iain Stewart (disambiguation) Iain Sydie – Canadian badminton player The Very Revd Iain Torrance – President of Princeton Theological Seminary and former Moderator of the General Assembly of the Church of Scotland Fictional Iains[edit] Iain Sterling, a fictional character in the Android: Netrunner universe Fictional Ians[edit] Ian Hawke – the main antagonist in the Alvin and the Chipmunks movies Ian the Deer – Elliot's arch-rival in the Open Season movies Ian Beale – from the TV soap opera EastEnders Ian Chesterton – from the TV series Doctor Who Ian Slater – from the ABC soap opera All My Children Ian Craig – from the radio soap opera The Archers Ian Edgerton – FBI agent and sniper from the show Numb3rs Ian Gallagher – one of the main characters in the television drama, Shameless Ian Hainsworth - Susan Delfino's boyfriend in 3rd season of Desperate Housewives Ian Howe – an antagonist in National Treasure Ian Kabra – antagonist of The 39 Clues book series Ian Kelley – from the TV series Being Ian Ian Lewis and Ian Ketterman (together with dozens of other Ians) – characters created by Lee and Herring; the duo used 'Ian' as their de facto comedy name, in such sketches as the Ian News Ian – from Leprechaun 2 Ian Malcolm – from Michael Crichton's novel Jurassic Park Ian (MÄR) – a recurring character in the manga and anime series MÄR Ian Maxtone-Graham – from the TV series Suddenly Susan Professor Ian McClaine – adoptive father of Joe 90 Ian McKenzie – the liberal attorney from the novel and the film A Dry White Season Ian McKinley – from the movie Final Destination 3 Ian Miller – from the movie My Big Fat Greek Wedding Ian Murray- The Nephew of Jamie Fraser in Diana Gabaldon's Outlander series Ian O'Shea – from Stephenie Meyer's novel, The Host Ian Randall – from the 'Dichotic' episode of Smallville, a character who had the ability to duplicate himself Ian Raymond – Laura's boyfriend in the novel and film, High Fidelity Ian Schulenburg – Unseen husband of Harriet Schulenburg in Green Wing Ian Rider – From the Alex Rider books Ian Scuffling – Tyrone Slothrup's adopted name after he goes into hiding in Thomas Pynchon's Gravity's Rainbow Ian Thomas - Ryan Merriman's character in the TV series Pretty Little Liars. Ian – from Shane Jiraiya Cummings' short story, "Ian". Every male character who the protagonist meets is called Ian Ian – from Sarah Kane's play, Blasted References[edit] Jump up ^ "Name: Ian". BabyNames.co.uk. Baby Names UK. Retrieved 2015-01-01. Jump up ^ "Top 200 Most Popular Names in England and Wales in 1900". British Baby Names. 21 August 2012. Retrieved 2015-01-01. See also[edit] John (given name) Eoin Ioan (disambiguation) IANS (disambiguation) Categories: Scottish masculine given namesGiven namesEnglish masculine given namesMasculine given names Navigation menu Create accountLog inArticleTalkReadEditView history Main page Contents Featured content Current events Random article Donate to Wikipedia Wikipedia store Interaction Help About Wikipedia Community portal Recent changes Contact page Tools What links here Related changes Upload file Special pages Permanent link Page information Wikidata item Cite this page Print/export Create a book Download as PDF Printable version Languages Deutsch Suomi Svenska Edit links This page was last modified on 10 April 2015, at 09:48. Text is available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License; additional terms may apply. By using this site, you agree to the Terms of Use and Privacy Policy. Wikipedia® is a registered trademark of the Wikimedia Foundation, Inc., a non-profit organization.

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What is the worst thing about a couple of white kids playing with a couple of black kids? There are no parks or recreation centers within walking distance from there houses.

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What did the kid say when you gave him a cookie? Thank you.

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What is the unltimate Jewish dilemma? Free pork

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Person 1: "Broo my dicks like 19 inches!" Person 2: "Thas not healthy, an erection that big will deprive your brain of too much blood and kill you."

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A lady was walking to the grocery store as she was walking she saw a old lady with a dog behind them where two black merses and about 200 women behind the merses. The lady Rushes over and ask '' Maim i am sorry to bother you but i would like to know who you lost and how?'' The old lady paused for a minute and awnsered '' I lost my husband and mother in law, Well My husband had just walked in to the house and my new dog went and ferousiously atacted him my mother in law had been living with us at the time she the jumped in and tried to help him They both died because of blood loss'' The lady looked at her with simpathy and thought i feel sorry for her husband and his mother she then asked '' Can i barrow your dog'' the old lady looked puzzled and said '' Get in line '' The lady walked to the end of the line as the dog was Passed to a women and taken home then passed back. When the women got her turn she thought do i want to kill my husband then she thought yes

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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