How many cats would it take to change a lightbulb? Cats can't change lightbulbs

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What do you call a psychic midget who has escaped from prison? Wanted by the police.

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Grammer is very important

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What is Hellen Keller's favorite movie? Around the block in 80 days.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

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what does a granny look best in? 1950

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I have a great knock knock joke. You start. Go.

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What did george washington say before he and his troops crossed the delaware river? We are going to cross the delaware river. R...

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What's stupid a light bulb.

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible for his school's football tryouts. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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Apple hates Blackberry.

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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How does a blind bit of difference differ from one that can see?

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What do you do when its night time and you go downstairs and see your tv floating in the air? you say PUT IT DOWN N I G E R

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Roses are red, Muslims are brown, When I see them swimming, I hope that they drown!

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When life gives you lemons you get sugar and water and make some good lemonaide.

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"Ask me if I'm a tree." "Are you a tree?" "No."

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Why was the washing machine laughing? Because you're on drugs.

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What's the humor in an elevator? Me jumping up and down yelling we r all gonna die.

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ROSES ARE RED VILOTS ARE BLUE I HOPE YOU KNOW IM A JEW

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nena. nerna. neener. neezie. nena.

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Why did Obama cross the road? Oh, wait, he didn't make it.

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What is cowboy say

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knock, knock who's there? Dave. ....oh well dave's not here man.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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