What if algebra teachers were actually pirates, and they're making us find the X so they can search for buried treasure?

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Why was the kid late for his dentist appointment? He was abducted and he's been missing for thirteen days

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Why did the kid hide under the table? There was an earthquake.

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. One muffin turns to the other and says "Is it hot in here?" The other muffin says "Yes. It feels like 425 degrees."

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Why is there so much hate in the world? Because you touch yourself at night.

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A horse walks into a bar. the bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse does not reply because it is a horse. The horse walks out of the bar kicking over some chairs and scaring some people because he is a horse and horses do not belong in public atmospheres.

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What did Hitler get for Christmas? Some shoelaces for his shoes so he could tie his little knotsies.

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Why did Sally fall off of the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sally

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A Jewish man walks into an ice-cream shop. Using the money he ha eared from his full time job, he orders a chocolate ice-cream in a waffle cone.

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A women in the kitchen.

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How many penguins does it take to cover a dog house? Purple, because the Ice cream has no bones.

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your mother is so fat that she bought a treadmill and uses it daily. she already lost 20 lbs.

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What's the worst part about rollerblading? Telling your dad that you're gay.

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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What do you do i a stranger offers you candy? Make sure its not stale then jump in his van.

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Q: What's the difference between a black man and a park bench? A: A park bench can support a family of four.

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What did the cat say to the dog? Communism

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What do apples and bananas have in common? They're both red (except for bananas).

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Hi

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Q: What kills millions of people each year and sneaks up behind you unexpectedly? A: HIV/AIDS

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What's the difference between a catholic priest and acne? Acne waits until the boys hit puberty before coming on their face.

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Yo momma so fat shes eating right now

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Why are white people not good at basketball? Because they aren't black.

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This guy goes to the ball game. He waits in line at the concession stand and gets a footlong hot dog and a giant orange soda. Then he makes his way around to his section of the stadium, and works his way to his seat, which is in the center of the row. Right when he's about to take a bite of his hot dog, when he hears someone in the seats way up behind him yell "Hey! Mike!" He sets down his hot dog, and sets down his giant orange drink, stands up and turns around, scanning the crowd. Eventually he sits back down. He picks up his hot dog, picks up his giant orange drink, and is just about to take a bike when he hears it again, someone way up behind him yelling "Hey! Mike!". So, he sets down his hot dog, sets down his giant orange drink, stands up, turns around, and scans the hundreds of faces in the seats behind him. After a while, he sits back down. Then, right when he's about to bite into his hot dog, he hears someone behind him yelling "Mike! Hey, Mike!" He sets down his hot dog, sets down his giant orange drink, stands up, turns around, cups his hands around his mouth and yells as loud as he can, "My name's not Mike!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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