What do a worm and a human have in common? They both have arms and legs apart from the worm

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Pretty vague, if I did not know you, Id conclude you where working for some mob syndicate or something.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Say the line below sixteen times very fast: I like to find threes and peel of their... BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK... Done? Good boy!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Roses are brown, Violets are brown, Who shit in my garden?

thumb_up thumb_down +12

6

thumb_up thumb_down +51

why doesnt cornelia say anything? she didnt answer

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What's the difference between a sack of dead babies and a Mustang? I don't have a Mustang in my garrage.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

How do you fit 100 babies into a bowl? You use a blender. How do you get them out? Tostitos scoops.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Why did the armless girl fell off the swing? Because somebody pushed her. Why did se fell again? Because somebody pushed her again.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

There is a tiger in front of you a lion behind you and a bear beside you what do you do? Get of the marry go round

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because grass don't eat meat.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Q: What word contains all the letters in the alphabet? A: A made-up word, probably.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Q: Why are black people black? A: Cause they're from Africa.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet and so are you, but the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl empty and so is your head.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Well, I'm naked so I'm going to go.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

A man walks into a bar and asks for 6 vodka shots. The bartender looks at him in a strange manner. The man quickly downs all 6 of the vodka shots. The bartender looks at the man and says "Jeepers mate, whats the celebration?" The man replies "Well mate, first blow job today" The bartender in a kind gesture says "Here you go mate, next one is one me" while pouring another shot. The man respectfully replies, "No thanks mate, if 6 didn't get the taste away, im sure 7 won't"

thumb_up thumb_down -10

There once was a man from Dundee. He got stung by an angry wasp. He put some Bactine on it. He lied down and took a rest He felt much better the next morning.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Two muffins are sitting in an oven. The first muffin turns to the second and says "it sure is getting hot in here!". The second muffin looks over and responds "this makes no sense - we shouldn't be capable of speech, let alone self-awareness." "We probably should try to get out of here, though."

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did German shower heads have eleven holes? Because jews only have ten fingers.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

what did the judge say to the lawyer during a trial. He said We are all in a court. thus concluding that the judge was retarted.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Why was the baby crying? It wasn't it got hit by a bus and died.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What does a snake and a dog have in common? They are both reptiles but except the dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops