Why did the black guy hit his head while walking through a doorway? Because he was tall.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A Muslim walks out of a bar... Because he doesn't drink alcohol

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What was the pirate's favorite letter? Many pirates were illiterate and so did not know any letters, much less have a favorite. However, even if this pirate were able to read, it is unlikely that we would be able to find out his favorite letter without asking him, since pirates were primarily in existence two to four centuries ago. In addition, most people don't have a favorite letter, and so a pirate would probably not be an exception.

thumb_up thumb_down +607

What time is it when grandpa sits ontop of a telephone pole and throws pineapples at people? Time to go to a nursing home

thumb_up thumb_down +4

I Used to be an Adventurer like you, Then I retired to achieve the top Anti-Joke.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Hey, you pee here? Yes, it's called a urinal

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did the man fall down the steps? I shot him in the face.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Two muffins are sitting in an oven. One says "It sure is hot in here!" The other one says "We're both going to die in here and nobody will hear us scream."

thumb_up thumb_down +245

Why do we park in driveways and drive in parkways? Good question.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

who do you call those who give this joke a thumbs down? people

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Q. What do cows and grass have in common? A. They both moo, except for grass ????????????

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's the difference between jelly and jam? I can't jelly my d i c k in your a s s.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

If your dying how would you avoid getting eaten alive by sharks or rip to shreds by a T-Rex? Fall on a sword

thumb_up thumb_down -47

yo Dawg I heard you like dogs... So I sent yo ass to prison and got an NFL contract

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Q: What do you get if you cross a kangaroo with a sheep? A: A genetic aberration that is an insult to both God and man.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A priest, a minister, and a rabbi all walk into a bar. They all say ouch and then continue walking. Although the minister did hit it at a higher speed and ended up with a black eye.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What's worse than AIDS? Not getting your sandwich.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A cow walks into a store. The clerk asks "how may i help you sir?" The cow says "Im a cow stupid!" and storms out.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

How do you make a 6-year-old cry again? Tell him that without further change to the system, he'll end up paying $100,000 for school and then not have a job when he graduates.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new girlfriend? Neither has he.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Customer: Can I have a tin of red paint, please? Shop owner: I'm sorry sir, we only have yellow paint left. Customer: That's ok, I have my bike with me.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Why did paul macartny have plastic surgery? Because he wasn't happy with the looked

thumb_up thumb_down -292

Once a upon a time there was a boy whom likes cheese. The boy: I like Cheese and thats the end of the story

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops