What's brown and sticky? A stick. What's brown, sticky and crawls up your leg? A homesick poo.

What is worse than getting mud on your brand new t-shirt Getting stabbed.

Ily bae

Why did the man go to the toilet with his brother? Because Mario and Luigi had to go down in it.

What do you get if you put a horse in a blender? Dinner

What's worse than opening your pantry door and finding nothing desirable to eat? Repeated high voltage electrical shocks to the anus.

Roses are Red, violets are blue, I have STD, Now so do you. :3

I put children on a leash and store them under my bed. I feed them bird food and they drink eachothers urine.

What's the difference between unicorns and black people? That whole slavery thing.

Why the kid fall of his bike? He got hit by a fridge.

What do you call a dear with no eyes? no eyed dear what do you call a dear with no head? dead!

Why did the polar bear cross the road? He didn't, there are no roads in Antarctica.

What was the cancer patients last wish? For the pain to go away...Yolo...-Avery Scott Vartanian

What do you call a black guy that has a big white coat, an assortment of knives and a couple of women working for him? A doctor

whats the difference between G. Bush and a rock? Bush (bull)shits and rock doesn't

What did the American call the Arab? Nothing the American could not talk because he suffered from throat cancer because of the effects of 9/11 and thus causing his hatred towards Arabs and led to the Arabs death. Green

A man walks into a store with a faulty washing machine. He provides a valid guarantee receipt at the customer service desk and it is replaced without an issue

a horse walks into a bar. Noticing the potentially dangerous situation everyone leaves, the bartender calls RSPCA who come and retrieve the horse and order is restored.

69

Mary Lu was swinging on a swing * swush swush* and her mom was sweeping the porch when she sad Mary Lu go get that big fat shiny quarter on that road then Mary Lu say how about you get your self that big fat shiny quarter.! Her mom drop the broom in discussed and walkout into the road and was bout to bend down when swush a bus runs her over And Mary Lu just laughed and laughed she knew that wasn't a big fat shiny quarter it was a nickel!!!!

Knock Knock.

A woman is on an escalator, which stops, then she cries. Why? The escalator is in a hospital and stops because the power has failed. She was going to visit her husband who is on life support, which has now but out.

Question :how many does an episode of Power Rangers show the power rangers face answer I'm not that big with power rangers.

This is the same thing you told me once, believe me, it helps holding into it.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...