What did the orphan get for Christmas? Nothing, the orphanage did not have sufficient funds to give everyone a present because they did not want to how favoritism because the orphans are already sad enough and te orphanage does not want the orphans killing them selves

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Hey Lady Gaga, Madonna called, she wants her clothes back; she lend them to you weeks ago for a concert because you didn't have anything to wear and you haven't returned them yet.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's the worst part of being raped by a unicorn? Be sentenced to a life of shame and humiliation.

thumb_up thumb_down -56

What did the father say to his daughter? "I'm going to rape you."

thumb_up thumb_down -43

Why did the italian go to jail? because he had just robbed a bank and then brutally murdered his wife and kids.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What do you call a bad joke? Unfunny.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Wow Nero, you never explained the process, its like I am at the ocean again, but dont lie, you still fear showers... Sorry its just not you when you lie to me, I know I should be more concerned about you, ill bring those old stuff, im tired, sleepy, I suppose thats your work huh Nero? Thanks, call it as a brother or what you want, but I really love you and wont ever stop doing so. Goodnight Nerochan, promise me you will take care of yourself, we all got a long life ahead of us, and I want to spend more time with you, if its fine for you and your wife.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

what do you call a starfish living 500 miles under the sea? A starfish.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Who's the slut of the alphabet? C.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A one legged man walks into a bar and falls down.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

One day, on a train. 30 white, violently, racist people where crowding a black man minding his own business. An asian person walked through and was kicked, stabbed and stomped on until he died.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

why did the boy fall of the bridge? He got shot in the head.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Stoner Student: "Imagine if El Nino and La Nina got together and started a family and had little Los Ninos." Class Nerd: "Yeah."

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Okay so two penquins are sitting in a bathtub when one asks the other "Hey pass the soap!". The other one jokingly replies "what do I look like a typewriter?"

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Roses are red violets are blue im a mass murderer and i will kill your family with no hesitation

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Knock knock. Come in.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? Depending on the amount of saliva you produce each lick the answer to this question varies species to species.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

how do you kill a giraffe? you don't.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Did you fall on your head when you were a baby Oh, I very sorry.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Two fish walked into a bar. They died. Because fish can't breathe out of water.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Q:What do they call her? A: They call her love,

thumb_up thumb_down -42

Roses are black, Violets are too. I'm colourblind. Stop laughing.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Fun fact: If you took the skin of an average person and laid it flat you would have enough to get a pretty serious criminal conviction, amirite?

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Norm Macdonald's roast of Bob Saget.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops