What do you do if you find blood in your poo? Stop stabbing yourself in the arse with a fork on wednesdays...

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Two blonds walk into a bar, the brunette ducked

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What's white and sticky? A marshmellow.

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Good job, son.

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Why can't Stevie Wonder read? He has retinopathy of prematurity and was born blind.

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roses are red so is ur face dont look at me like im a crazy bitch

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Knock knock Who's There? Me I kill you again HA HA HA

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When life throws lemons at you, just give up and commit suicide!

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What do you get when you cross a sheep with a lion? A dead sheep.

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What did the limp dick say to the vagina? Is that rash contagious?

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What did the English man say to the Japanese man? Nothing, they were incapable of conversation because of the language barrier created by the fact that neither had one another's language as a part of their curriculum.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Neither has he.

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What did the meteorologist say when there was tornado? There is a tornado 7 miles West of the station.

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These are some questions you should never ask on a first date: When you wipe do you throw your toilet tissue in the toilet or on a trash can? Do you smell your hands after you wipe? Do you you ever look down when you take a dump and see it come out? Have you ever picked your butt and then picked your nose with the same finger?

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Two guys walk in to a bar the third one ducks.

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How many babiess it take to paint a house? Depends on how hard you throw them.

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Eeny meeny miny moe, Catch a piglet by its toe, If it squeals let it go, Or you'll be arrested for animal abuse and receive a heavy fine.

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Roses are, blue, Violets are red, Screw poetic forms, I wish you were dead

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Their was once a man named Bob Clemens who really wanted to have sex with an underage girl. So one day he went on an online chat site to find one. He ran into this young girl and told her all the things he wanted to do to her and she told him that she had never done anything and really wanted to try it. Bob went over to her house one day and she told him to sit down and grab some cookies while she came back. She came back and Bob gave her the roughest pounding that any human being could recieve.

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What kind of coffee did they drink on the Titanic? They didn't. They all died.

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When Chuck Norris moved into a new house he decide to renovate because he didn't like the staircase.

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So a guy walks into a bar and says, "I can hold a spoon in between my butt-cheeks." Jillian Michaels asked him if that will help him lose weight.

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What do and Asian and an orange have in common? They are both complex, carbon based life forms living on the only world in the universe known to harbor life.

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Knock Knock! Who is there? Me. Let me in. Oh, okay, Come in.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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