Why did the man eat his own shoe? Because it was a tissue box.

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Why couldn't the mexican get a job? He was seven.

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Why couldnt the man stop the car rolling down the hill? Because he had no legs.

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Jumping out of an airplane without a parachute is a once in a lifetime expeirence.

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Why did the nerd cross the road?? BAZINGA!!!! xD

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Why don't men have menstruation? -Because it sucks

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why did the chicken cross the road, but didnt make it he didnt cross it. he was pushed by a band of gang members and hit by a bus

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Knock Knock Yes?

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This is Nero, the guy striving a bit with the fact that he killed his mother in order to save his wife a month or so before Christmas: cathphra is Exceedingly well read, I say than you. I had a nightmare tonight, my parents where serving tomato soup, while my mother made great food (despite the fact they discovered that it was not angel dust she used, but large quantities of opiate that would have killed an elephant) But this time they served me dry tomato soup (that from packages) and a bowl of lukewarm soup. I asked: How am I supposed to mix this? They both gave me the look of "here comes a beating" I started calling my mother many things that horsehead network sensors, then my father grabbed my neck and tried to twist my head off (and in this dream, rather than in reality, he actually succeeded) but I somehow managed to remain alive. Then I yelled in english: THIS IS BECAUSE I KILLED YOU! I HAVE NO SOUL TO TAKE! Only then I realized it was a dream and woke up...You know, because my parents never spoke English so they would not have understood me... I have a broken vertebrae in my neck to prove that my father tried quite hard to break my neck in reality at least... Yeah, I am mostly over it, I killed my father when he tried to break my neck because I kept scatching my ortopedic arm while studying (real arm which my mother cut off and then proceeded to beat me up with funny story actually) Then killed my mother years later when she stabbed my girlfriend induced under what turned out to be a heavy dose of opiates, and paralgin forte (which main ingredent is... you guessed it MORE opiates).

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Why was little Johnny crying? He is regularly raped by his father.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Reality TV.

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Why cant the asian find his family? His eyes were too squinty

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AARgh my name is AWsaing the nawant of the where of amzai Giant rabbit bunny

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A white guy drives to Home Depot in order to get supplies for remodeling his kitchen. He notices a few Mexicans standing around outside. He decides to go to to Lowe's instead.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I hate rhyming, Zebras.

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How do you get a blonde's attention? Throw deodorant at her until she looks.

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What did the black man say to the white man? Hi im phill

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Why was the Jewish man in jail? He lit a local CVS on fire.

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

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Why do we need to keep answering encryption codes? Because you can't keep a good Jew down (Wyndellberg)

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartenders asks "Why the long face?"

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How do you kill a cancer patient? Throw a fridge at him.

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When life gives you ponies... get a new life!

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How do you confuse a blonde? I guess the same way you confuse someone of any other hair color.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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