What did the doctor say when he lost his glasses? Where are my glasses?

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What did the lion say the the zebra? Nothing. Lions do not have the ability to speak and therefore could not make conversation with said zebra, hunted it down, killed it, and shared it with his pride of 27.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, my dick is hard, and it's cumming for you.

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Why did the old man drop his milk? He had a stroke.

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A mathematician, a physicist, and an engineer walk into a bar. They order some drinks, sit quietly and stare at their shoes until they've finished their drinks, then go back home and wallow in loneliness, wishing their social skills weren't so abysmal.

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Knock,knock whose there? The pizza delivery guy the pizza delivery guy who the pizza delivery guy who didnt give you your pizza

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a blond, brunette, and red head all walk out of a hair salon.

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Ask me if I'm a human! - Are you a human? No. The correct term would be a human being.

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What did the two best friends do before the asteroid hit the Earth? They hugged each other goodbye.

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how do you decrease the unemployment figures? abolish lidle, aldi, and netto

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Why was the lemon not feeling well? Because it had lemon aids.

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who farted your mother

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Q:What did the ginger get for Christmas? A: A soul...jk,hair dye

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Why is Justin Bieber gay? He prefers the companionship of homosexual relationship to that of a heterosexual one.

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Snooki want smoosh smoosh

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who touched the priests sticky hand? Jake Duncan

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Roses are gray Vilots are gray im a dog

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was being dragged by a truck

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That is so sweet of you, for a moment I thought I had said something that might have insulted you, but then again, considering the length of the message I see why it took so long.

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A very unskillful basketball team enters a basketball tournament. They had little chance of winning and concluded with a loss.

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Have you ever seen that really famous blind man's house? Neither has he.

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Why did the chicken cross the road To get to the other side

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My nipple is bleeding

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A pirate walks into a bar. The bartender says, "You know, you have a steering wheel down your pants?" The pirate says, "I know, I was just raped by a group of men who thought it would be funny to humiliate me as much as possible. The bartender then called 911 seeing that a horrible crime had just been committed.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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