Q)Why doesn't the blond have a job? A) he is 12

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Q Whats Yellow, Has a body, And has a Spiky head ? A a pineapple

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf."

thumb_up thumb_down

Your mama's so fat, she can't even find clothes that fit her well.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Michael Brown

thumb_up thumb_down +25

how do you get lady gaga to wake up in the morning? Hit her with a brick

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A black guy, a priest, and a rabbi all walk into a bar. They order water and chat about life.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the old man go to the retirement home? The 75 year old man had a 45 year career in pluming and he thought it was a good time to retire after saving enough money to be happy and he could spend the rest of his life with his wife. The retirement home was also not that far away from his grandchildren so he liked the location and the home was also very clean and the workers seemed very nice. But this was just a visit to see if he liked it, he may live there soon.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

how do u get a blonde to stay away from her credit card... i dont know im blonde

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What is veiny, turns hard, and has a tip at the end? The male genitalia used as a reproductive organ mainly in sexual intercourse known as a Penis.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What did the orange say to the lemon? We are both alike but a differnt color

thumb_up thumb_down -22

If Jim lives in north carolina, what does that make his dad's brother? Black

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why does matt daly get confused for? A Penis

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Q: Why did the cookie go to the dentist? A: Because he was dying of brain cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Knock, Knock. Who's there? Police. Your mom is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What did OJ Simpson say to the blonde? "Don't worry, I'm not going to murder you"

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? i don't know, he hasn't unwrapped it yet

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did I laugh at a joke? Cuz it was funny

thumb_up thumb_down -18

how did sally die? she starved because she cant get in to get the nuggets.

thumb_up thumb_down

why was six afraid of seven? because seven eight nine

thumb_up thumb_down -32

A man walks into a bar and the bartender asks him "why the long face?" the man replies with "I have AIDS."

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Your momma so fat she can eat 10 of your 300lb friends.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Roses are red Violets are blue I can't rhyme The end

thumb_up thumb_down +21

A man walks into a bar. He proceeds to get intoxicated and then commits a felony.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops