Why do women have boobs? So you've got something to look at while you talk to them. That's sexist... I'm sorry.

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Why didn't the parakeet eat my diarrhea? I already ate it.

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Q: Why didn't i save my work? A: Because i didn't do any work?

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A man walks into a bar. Ouch

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Printing billions of counterfeit dollars...in ones.

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What's the difference between jokes and anti-jokes? Anti-jokes aren't funny.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the engine wasnt working.

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Welcome to the anti-joke Olympics! As you can see ladies and gentlemen, our contestants are starting to look very excited as the "who can look the most bored" competition is just about to begin! We are terribly sorry to announce that as for the butterfly style contest, all of the butterflies drowned :( While at this corner, we can see these contestants have been waiting patiently for hours for the "who is the most impatient" contest to begin! While over here, none of our contestants have yet to make a chicken cross the road and tell them why! In the meantime watch as we mistreat these Jews in order to find out what is worse, the holocaust or a worm in your apple! So far our contestants with worms in their apples are complaining more, but dying significantly less, how will this end! How exciting! Finally our swing contest has been cancelled as Sally refuses to get on it! Moral: BUT WILL IT BLEND!

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What do call a man with no arms or no legs that sits on the couch? Grandpa after his amputations.

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Why are some people so good at basketball? Because they are all black.

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What's worse than seeing Charlie sheen in a Turkish bath house? Watching the direct tv commercial for the 100th time today

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So a woman took her drivers test today Since she passed, and tomorrow is her 16th birthday, tomorrow she will have the legal privlage to get her license.

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Why didn't the boy blow out his birthday cake this year? He died last year.

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a irish man walks past a bar

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What's Kanye West's main goal in life? To dash the hopes and dreams of Taylor Swift on national television.

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what did the african child get for his birthday? water, it is a very scare resource were he comes from and is considered a great present

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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why was the boy sad? there was a frog stapled to his face.

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Mack: Hello Jonathan: Hi Mack: My name is Mack, what's your name? Jonathan: My name is Billy Mack: You liar! I'm reading this post at anti-joke.com and whenever you reply, your name shows Johnathan! Johnathan: Well Mack, I guess you broke the 4th wall. By the way, this joke is over in 3, 2, 1...

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girl: why do you love me? boy: i don't.

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Why did the black homeowner declare bankruptcy on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by continuing to pay his mortgage bills.

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What's better than winning the special Olympics? Not being retarded.

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how do you kill a blonde?? put a scratch n sniff on the bottom of a pool

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What's a good way to kill time? It's impossible to kill an inanimate object.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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