Why did the monkey eat his own poop? Because there was minimal resources where he was so he resorted to eat his own fecal matter

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What's the animal that eats with its tail? All of them, since they won't take it off when they get to eat.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She has no arms. Knock Knock "Who's there?" Not Sally!

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what do a fish and wood have in common? when they're dead, they float

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Knock Knock, Who's There? Come in. Come in who? Your mom

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What do 9 out of 10 people like? Gang rape.

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What happended to the family in the hurricane? They died stupid

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Your landlord. I'm here to collect rent

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A priest, a monk, and a rabbi walk into a bar. They order drinks and keep the conversation to non-controversial topics.

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What crawls on the ground and shoots arrows? Legless Legolas.

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Q: What happened to the 16 year old pregnant black woman? A: She gave birth to a baby in 9 months.

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What's brown, liquid and bad for your health in large doses? Did you guess: Coca Cola? Soda? Beer? Pepsi? Wrong. It's beer. Did this Anti-joke sound pretentious? Don't worry, you're not the only one.

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What's the difference between a Mexican and a T-Rex? There are certainly innumerable differences, but, in general, humans are vertebrates belonging to the Mammalia class, chiefly a member of the species Homo sapiens; dinosaurs are chiefly terrestrial, herbivorous or carnivorous reptiles from the extinct orders Saurischia and Ornithischia.

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A horse walks into the bar and says "why the long face?" The bartender replies "hey! I was supposed to say that!"

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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So a guy gets drunk and walks into a gay bar by accident He then yells I LOVE PENIS!!!!! everyone yells oh yeaaaaaaaaaa

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People talk about how there grandparents was in the holocaust well my grandpa was to he died. How he fell off the guard tower.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra

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A dog walks into a saloon and says "I'm lookin' for the man who shot my paw." The patrons are afraid of the talking dog.

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Should a pole bump an alarm?

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What is the difference between Harry Potter and a Jew? Harry Potter escapes the chamber.

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EVERYBODY THUMB THIS JOKE DOWN

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Kid 1: "Want a Hurts Doughnut?" Kid 2: "Umm... sure." Kid 1 opens up a box of freshly baked Hurts doughnut from Hurts Bakery and gives one to kid 2

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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