In Soviet Russia, this type of joke would be considered evidence to throw you into the gulag.

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Why do bats fly in circles? They're mentally retarded.

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gay marriage.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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sit on your hand until it goes numb and then touch yourself.

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knock knock , who is there the postman the postman who ? the postman who is gonna give you a bill !

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Jacob Edwards has friends

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How did sally fall off the swings? she had no arms. Knock knock, who is there? Not sally.

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There was once a simple man. His life was far from what could be described as extravagant, living alone in a dingy apartment full of leaking taps and insects and lacking a working refrigerator. He wasn't an ungrateful man but he often wondered why life was cruel to him and prayed every night for something magical to happen, whether it be a brand new life, or even something simple like a new fridge. One fateful late afternoon as he staggered along the dim backstreet, partially crippled and pained from his standard day of labour, he came across a brass lamp just laying in the street. Glancing around, the man bent down to pick it up, knowing very well the story of the genie in the lamp having just watched Aladdin the previous night. Peering into its dull surface, he saw eyes staring back at him, eyes he didn't recognise. Anxiously, he ran his hands over the surface of the lamp, feeling the coolness of the metal on his rough blistered hands. But nothing happened! Disappointed but desperate for his dreams to be fulfilled, the man frantically shook the lamp, tears streaming down his face, wonder how life could be so cruel. Then a fridge fell out of the lamp and crushed him and he died the end.

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What is obama's favorite place to eat? Subway

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What do you get when you put a dead baby and some nails in a blender? A dead baby and some nails

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Why didn't the boy enjoy his lunch? It was dinner time.

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Q:how man ADD kids does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: I dont know, wanna go ride bikes?

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A black man, a jew, and an atheist are on a boat. Suddenly the boat started sinking. A mermaid would only save two of them. who do did she save? Mermaids don't exist. The all died. They were my friends.

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knock! knock! who's there? the police, your family died in a car crash!

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BWAT

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How do you keep a mexican from drowning? Take your foot off the back of his head.

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What's black and white and red all over? A penguin after being attacked by a man with a mace.

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What is worse than a dog bite? A shark bite.

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Knock knock ... Knock knock ... Little did the man knocking at the door know that the kid was told not to answer the door when he was home alone, so the kid was hiding

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What did the Muslim receive for Christmas? Nothing. Muslims don't celebrate Christmas.

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Penis.

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What was wrong with the tomato? Nothing.

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what starts with P and ends with u-b-e-s? Paul, can you brang me some priangles and the rest of my Rubik's cubes?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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