What's the worst part about having sex with a two year old? -Hearing the hip bone snap. What's the best part about having sex with a two year old? -Hearing the hip bone snap.

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How many licks did it take for the owl to get to the center of the tootsie roll tootsie pop? A: Since when did owls have tounges?

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Q: what do strawberry and a cat have in common? A: they are both red except for the cat

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If video games were peaceful. Man! You are so strait! That was so good man! GG.

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There is a penguin at the bakery: i want 2 loaves said the baker white or brown bread says the penguin does not matter I'm a moped

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Leaves are green, You should know all this by now...

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A kid walks into a shop and asks the shopkeeper for a loaf of bread. The shopkeeper says, "White, wholemeal or multigrain?". The kid replies, "No thanks. My bike's outside".

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Roses are red, violets are blue, why am i even talking to you?

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What's green and has wheels? A green car.

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Sidney Crosby comes face-to-face with Alex Ovechkin. The Penguins were playing the Capitals.

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SHEA CAPOLUPO HAS A TINY SHLONG. 8- turn your head sideways haha.

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what do you call a old guy who touches children? my dad

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poop

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roses are red violets are blue i uhh umm hold on... the man with Alzheimers proceeds to think of the rest of his poem he wrote for his date, after an hour he remembers but his date has left and the staff proceed to guide him out and back to the insane asylum

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When u outside and the suns out.....stand under raysean u will see a solar eclispe

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What is the difference between an African and French person? Nothing all people ate equal.

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Why was Sally's dad crying? Because Sally got raped. Why was Sally crying? Her dad raped her.

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Why aren't there alligators in a bookstore? Because alligators would pose a danger to customers.

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A Jewish man with a boner walks into a wall. What hit the wall first? Probably his penis.

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A kangaroo walks into a bar and says "Lipstick is the blood of all wounds." The bartender does not know how the kangaroo said this or why.

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SINCE YOU ARE OBVIOUSLY READING THIS, IT WILL GET THE MOST LIKES!!!!!

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Does your face hurt? Because if it does, you might want to see a doctor.

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Q. How many puns does it take to make a cup of tea? A. None. A pun is a grammatical construct and as such is incapable of combining the ingredients necessary to generate a hot drink which has been popular for hundreds of years.

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You want to hear a joke? Adobe Flash Player.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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