text this number 2066191208 saying i wanna rape you

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How do you make a blond cry? Rape her

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Why do you never want to party with Lindsay Lohan? Because she's a drug abuser and a terrible influence.

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What did the boy with no legs and no arms get for Christmas? Cancer.

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whats the difference between a guitar and a fish? A guitar is an instrument used to produce noise and a fish is a living orgnism native to lakes and oceans

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Why did the cockroach cross the road? Why do you ask?

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what goes plop, plop, fizz, fizz? baby twins in an acid bath.

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why was the jew shaking hands with a nazi? they realized their differences and were bonding.

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Why did Susie fall of the swing? She had no arms. Why didn't she catch herself? She had no legs. What did she get for Christmas? Cancer. What did she get for her birthday? Nothing, she died.

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I stepped into the bathroom and began to take a shower. Then, I panicked. I was so thirsty, and I did not take the advantage to drink some water before I stepped into the bathroom. But then I realized: "Wow, I am so silly. I am standing under the shower, so I could easily just expedite my washing and drying, exit the bathroom, get dressed, and grab something to drink from the kitchen!" Then I showered quickly and got something to drink.

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What is yellow and sleeps alone? Yoko Ono.

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Whats the worst thing about walking through a meadow of dead babies My boner

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Have you seen Whitney Houston's new house? Neither has she.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? Pizzas don't scream when you put them in the oven.

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What's the same about a crouton and a pencil case? Both are used for dirty things, such as shoe tying.

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A pirate walks into a bar, and the bartender asks, "why do you have a wheel in your pants?"

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The real Justin Beiber reallly followed me on twitter I deleted my account, set my computer on fire, scattered the ashes and killed myself

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What's faster than a Mexican running away with your T.V.? An Airplane

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire? Lawyers exist, are alive and despite all claims to the contrary, can withstand sunlight, garlic and the sign of the cross. They also have reflections and whilst they may eat black pudding from time to time they don't depend on blood as a source of nutrition.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Sorry, wrong house.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Refrigerators come in an assortment of colors

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Why was the guy not asleep Because he was awake

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How do you get a bunch of baby guts out of a bathtub? A lot of tostitos.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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