Whats the similarity between your mom and me We are both men except for your mom

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How do you get your wife to stop nagging? chop off her head

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how can u tell if you have cancer if the doctor says so

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KNOCK! KNOCK! who knocks like that? seriously all my friends r jerks n break the door down...wow ur polite....um ok WHO'S THERE? THE REAPER oh sh** dude! NO ONES HOME! "in other news this evening, two local men found dead on theyre living room floors. Police say the front door was smashed in...an obvious sign of forced entry. The two men were apparently reading a webpage called anti-joke before suddenly having an unexplained heart attack and dieing....heh heh hey nancy...why did the chicken cross the road? because he thuroughly enjoyed darting out into traffic." "HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.......GASP! GA FA! GAA *gargle*" "wow...in other OTHER news i just killed nancy...."*runs* JOKES KILL >:}

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Yo mama's so fat, that she died from obesity.

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your mothers so fat...... shes borderline diabetic.

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Why can't Benitio Mussolini win the war? Becuase he's dead.

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A duck walks into a bar. Animal control is notified, and the duck is released into a nearby park.

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What did one cake say to the other? You wanna piece of me?!?

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A girl asked a guy if he thought she was pretty, He said 'No'. She asked him if he would want to be with her forever. He said 'no'. She then asked him if she were to leave would he cry, Once again, he replied 'no'. She had heard enough. As she walked away, tears streaming down her face the boy grabbed her arm and said.. 'Asking emotionally charged hypothetical questions that are completely irrelevant to the prior conversation can be known as fishing for compliments or reassurance of your value as a human being. Except, your tears seem to reflect a more serious inner emotional neediness. I suggest you seek a psychologist.'

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What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye-patch? Names

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What did the black person say to the white person I'm black your white

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Why did the baby cross the road? It's abusive father punted it.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing

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"My grandmother has AIDS. They are really nice ladies." -joke by comedian Daniel Cupps

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Why did the sloth cross the road? To slaughter your entire family.

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Why is Henrik so AWESOME? Cos HE just IS!!!!

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Q. Why did the boy drop his ice cream? A. Because he slipped on his moms three day old tampon.

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If Life gives you melons, then I think your dislexic

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A man walks into a bar, he then gets a giant bump on his head as he passes out and is rushed to the hospital.

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How did the dyslexic, purple horse commit suicide? It jumped off the Grand Canyon.

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Why does one not simply walk into Mordor? Mordor doesn't really exist and thus is physically impossible to walk into, or enter by any means really.

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What's black and white and red all over? The newspaper classified section after a man has abandoned long, futile job hunt. He has crossed out all the potential jobs with red ink. He was laid off due to the downturn in the economy and will now have to get food stamps, which is very embarrassing for a man who has worked to support his family his entire life.

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Why did Sally fall of the swing? She had Down-Syndrome.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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