A neutron walks into a bar. The barman says, "for you, no charge." The neutron replies, "very funny asshole, you're just going to put it on my tab after I pass out."

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the hamster cross the road? Because he was stapled to the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Yo mama so fat, when the waiter handed her the menu, she said "yes"

thumb_up thumb_down +5

why doesnt john lipka have a job? because the unemployment rate is high these days.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Hey Johnny what's after 2?? 3.

thumb_up thumb_down

What did the brick say to the face? Nothing bricks don't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

I am thinking of a number between 1 and 100 what is it There are many numbers between 1 and 100 so it is highly unlikely that I will guess the right number

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. His family is struggling financially and his children are severely malnourished. If he wasn't an alcoholic, he could afford healthcare for his family and move into a better neighborhood. But he's not, so they will die a long, painful death.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did the guy who walked into a bar say? Ouch

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What did the serial killer eat for breakfast? You.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What do you call it when a black guy runs down a hill? A male of African descent sprinting down a geographical landform that extends above the surrounding terrain.

thumb_up thumb_down +101

Why couldn't the blond dial 911? She lost her arms in a tragic car accident last year

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did the woman say to the jew? Do you want an almond?

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Steve buys 60 watermelons.. What does he have? A lot of watermelons.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Knock knock. Who's there? You're adopted. You're adopt...wait what?

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why can't helen keller drive? She never got her permit

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What happens if Pinocchio says "My nose is about to grow." Nothing, Pinocchio was a fictional character created by Walt Disney.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

A guy decides to bring his new blonde girlfriend to a football game. After the game is over, he asks her if she liked the game. She replies: "Oh it was great, I loved watching those men in tight clothes, but there is one thing I don't understand." "What did you not understand?" And the blonde says: "Well, at the begginning of the game, both teams flipped a quarter to see who would kick off first. Then the rest of the game everybody was yelling get the quarter back, get the quarter back, get the quarter back. So I thought to myself, gosh it's just a quarter!"

thumb_up thumb_down -14

why is everyone always picking on ruth? because they just do

thumb_up thumb_down -15

c:

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did the one legged girl do when her apartment caught on fire? She tried to hop to safety, but died of smoke inhalation.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

727-8088-954 Call Me. Say your name is Nick whether or not your a guy or a girl.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Boy 1: What comes after L? Boy 2: Elephant, elbow, elk, elementary, Elliot, Elder Scrolls? Boy 1: No. Boy 2: What is the answer? Boy 1: M

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How are people and jelly beans similar? No one likes the black ones

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops