i love antijokes

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What happened to the seal that walked into the zoo? Well nothing because seals can't walk.

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Why do the man leave his tv on? He was murdered while he was watching tv

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What's funnier than killing a bunch of orphans? killing their parents first.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7, 1, 2 in mod7.

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What did the catholic priest say to the little boy? Nothing sexual, that kind of behavior isn't as widespread as people think.

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Whats worse than finding half of a worm in your apple? Noticing the apple is oversized and finding half of a dead baby.

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How do you fit four elephants in a car ? Two in the front and two in the back

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You know what makes me smile? Face muscles

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A: Did you know Helen Keller had a treehouse? B: No. A: Neither did she.

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What do you call a joke without a punchline?

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A man is walking alone in a park and stumbles upon a lamp. He rubs the lamp and a genie appears out of thin air. The genie tells him he has three wishes to wish for whatever his heart desires. The man naturally wishes for Anthony Davis to shave his damn unibrow. He then throws the lamp at a little boys face and laughs uncontrollably.

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-funny? women have rights -funnier? civil rights

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Why does the jailbird sing? It makes Bubba horny.

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Q:What do you do when you see a talking raccoon A:Quit the LSD

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JOHN to MARY: Roses are red Violets are blue Sugar is sweet So are you MARY to JOHN: Roses are red Violets are blue Who are you? JOHN to MARY: Roses are red I'm your husband MARY to JOHN: No! JOHN to MARY: WHAT??? MARY to JOHN: Ex Awkward silence. Mary moves out the next day.

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yo mama's so sexy... wait, thats not how it goes

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What's worst than finding two worms in your apple? Two holocausts.

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what did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? cancer

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A blonde walks into a bar. She is rushed to the hospital and treated for a broken nose and a busted lip. She now has a deformed nose.

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i found the cure to cancer.......AIDS

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What do you call an iPod that doesn't work? An iPod that doesn't work.

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pickle sniffer

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How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? One. Unless she's particularly short, then she may need to get a friend, who may or may not be blonde, to help by holding the ladder.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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