Did you hear about Osama Bin Laden? Well, he's dead.

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What did Helen Keller say to her friend? Nothing. If you didn't know, she was deaf and blind so she had to use Sign Language.

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the awkward moment when you have a boner on your boner

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What is the crunchiest part of a Vegetable? It depends if by Vegetable you mean the food or the disabled human incapable of carrying out simple, daily tasks, in which case this joke would be referring to canibalism.

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what did the jew get for christmas? nothing Jewish people don't celebrate christmas

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How many perverts does it take to screw a lightbulb?

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When life gives you lemons, squirt the juice in life's eyes. Then life won't trust you with lemons.

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your momma eats so much ice cream, you often find yourself without anything sweet to eat late at night when you're hungry

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Why is the sky blue? Because when you look up at the sky, especially during the daytime, the sky is giving a bluish color.

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What happens when you lose your fish? It dies.

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? Well i would imagine one of various names for a domesticated animal and she would choose the name based on her likes towards nature or an element of nature, being the educated individual she i would think she may name it base on a person of importance, such as an author or maybe a writer that inspires her.

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A. Why did the man crash the car? B. Because the driver was a blind man with no arms, who happened to have a psychological problem affecting his brain's ability to detect movement, thus making the car crash.

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What hurts more than a papercut? A chainsaw between your legs.

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what's red, blue, and white all over? The American Flag

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What is the worst part about being a blonde? Random green painted strangers throw forks at you claiming it will confuse you, because they got it off of an anti joke website!

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Why did the ground beef taste funny? Because little Timmy fell in the grinder.

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Roses are read Vilots are blue, I have a gun, Now get out of my house!!!

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Why a polar bear fell over? He drank so much

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Hello we are from the church of the latter day saints.

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What did the little girl get for Christmas? A pipe bomb

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A black guy, a Mexican, an Arab and a white guy walk into a room and embrace cultural diversity.

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Wy was the lamp crying, because his mother turned into mashed potatoes.

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What's old and baggy? An old bag.

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Q: What did the little boy with cancer get for Christmas? A: A funeral.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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