A dyslexic man walks into a bar He sits down and has some trouble reading the menu but orders a beer

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whats worse than getting raped by a giant scorpion? Gingers

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If you can cut half a rope. You can cut the whole rope.

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Did you hear the one about Helen Keller? Neither did she.

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Why is One direction the best thing in the world? Becuz when 5 hot guys met each other they... Sorry I got lost in Zayn's eyes again! Now what were we talking about??????

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There are 4 people in a crashing plane, but there are only 3 parachutes. But, the teenage girl says she is depressed and cannot go on. The older woman breaks down into tears because she is reminded of her rough child hood. The two 21 year old twins start crying, too, because they were corrupted by their alcoholic father who would come home and abuse their family. As they were all crying, the two pilots and the flight attendant took the parachutes and jumped. The older woman realized she went to flight school when she was young so she took control. They were are happy and drank a little bit too much alcohol and got drunk. The pilot also drunk and crashed into a huge skyscraper. This catastrophe was later named 9/11.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It wanted to.

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Why did Billy drop his ice cream? He was hit by a bus

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How many feminist does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two. One to screw it in, the other to suck a dick.

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There once was a man from Nantucket I raped him. The End.

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whats worse than school? Summer school

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when life throws you lemons your an idiot because it wont

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What's worse than finding out you have aids? Nothing. Actually I lied. It would suck being an illegal immigrant.

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What's the difference between a live baby and a dead baby? A dead baby doesn't cry.

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Why does Santa Claus not have children? Because he only comes once a year.

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Q: How do you make Kobie Bryant cry? A: Kill his family.

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You're at a funeral & your phone goes off and the ringtone is dead and gone

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the guy below me is gay

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What happened when the white man saw a black man running with a purse? He called the police. The police proceeded to chase the black man down tackling him into a dumpster, causing permanent spinal damage. Upon investigation into the situation, the black man was deaf and he was bringing the purse, which contained an epi-pen, to his dying wife a block away. The white man who called the police and the police officers involved were sued by the family for a large sum of money.

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I have a knock knock joke. You go first.

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How are you? Yes

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm.

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why does the octopus have no friends? because they're anti social by nature

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What did T Pain say to the skipper of his yacht? I'm on a yacht

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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