What is big, hard, and bushy? My Penis. I lied about it being bushy.

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Q: What do dogs and wind have in common? A: They're both blue. Except the dog. Or the wind. Wind is colorless.

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how come bob felt 'under pressure'? because somebody dropped a dumpster on him

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Roses are red Violets are baskets This joke makes no sence... ... boobs

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Knock Knock Who is there? The IRS coming to take your house

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Where's my tractor?

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What did Batman say to Robin before getting into the Batmobile? Get in the Batmobile

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What did the spatula say to the door handle? Nothing. Inanimate objects are incapable of speaking.

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Why is the alien dead as a door-nail? Because the door-nail was never alive nor could it ever be dead therefore the alien must have never existed just like the life and death of the door-nail.

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a man walks into a bar. He left after he drank two beers. Someone pulled his pants down and he didnt notice. when he got home he realized his pants were gone. He returned to the bar to search, but it was a metal bar, and he was fairly stupid. please dont laugh

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(SPOILER ALERT) The following are a few punchlines: "I didn't know what you did, but I stepped on a duck!" "I can't believe I just blew thirty bucks!" "Hold on buddy, I'm about to save you $10,000" "To get to the other side!" "Because 7, 8, 9!" "She had no arms!" "A fridge!" "I don't have Ferrari in my garage!" "The clown can stay, but the Ferengi in the gorilla suit has to go!" "And if it wasn't for my horse, I wouldn't have spent that year in college!" "It was stapled to the chicken!" "I proved it to him." "The holocaust" "Red paint" "A stick." "I wished for a big orange head." "No." "A bicycle is an object and a black man is a human being." "A pilot." "The papa tomato steps on him and says ketchup." "You left your engine running!" "That's what she said." "TV watches you!" "I think so Brain, but where will we get that many cucumbers at this time of night?" "Rectum? Damn near killed him!" "One but it takes two episodes and the bald guy dies."

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What do a grape and an airplane have in common? They both have wings! except not the grape.

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Some peoples attempts at being funny on this website are the stupidest things i have ever read.

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Your mama is so stupid she had to go back to school to get her GED in order to get a job that could properly support her family.

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Why did Dave not hug his wife? Because she looked horrifying from the Iraq war.

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What did the cannibal eat for breakfast? Waffles.

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what did the African baby get for his birthday?..... AIDS

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BRANDON LUI ROCKSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

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How do you get a baby out of a blender? With tortilla chips.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first one. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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Why did the black man steal purple kool-aid, chicken and watermelon? Because it was the birthday of his 8 year old daughter with autism and she loves purple kool-aid, chicken and watermelon and he was very poor and wanted to make his little girl happy for once.

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What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut.

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What do you call a black man that robs a bank? A bank robber

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Want a fight? You Spelt F**K wrong O.o

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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