When I was in 4th grade, I was fat. The other kids would take my lunch and spit in all the food, then give it back. Teachers started to wonder why I wasn't eating, and soon began to ask me if I was anorexic. I replied, "do I look anorexic!?" I'm now 6 foot 3 and weigh 56 pounds. *FUN FACT: based on a heartwarming true story.

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Wanna hear a joke? (Yeah, sure) So do I, got any?

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yo mamma's so stupid, she is not that smart.

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Q: How do you get a jewish girls number? A: You roll up her sleeve

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Obama is a black man living in a white house. TEEHEE

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how do you grow a choade? idk ask shea

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Hello Braydon I am at home where are you?

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What did one lion say to the other lion? Nothing. There was no other lion. This particular lion had horrible social anxiety so he spent most of his time alone, eating buffalo poop and playing World of Warcraft thus further alienating himself from the other lions. He was a very lonely lion.

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Roses are red Here is something new Violets are violet NOT FUCKING BLUE

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poker face pa pa poker face!!!

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What do you call a squirrel in my yard? Dead.

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How do you get someone to shut up? Shove a fork down their throat and hang them by thier thumbs

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The Mexican word of the day is JUICY. Tell me if juicy see the cops.

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Liars go to hell! -God

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9/11/2001

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A blind man walks into a bar. He had a few drinks then went home.

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What shoots rockets but is not classed as a deadly weapon? A toy rocket launcher, I lied about the rockets.

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Whats worse than bitting into a apple and finding a worm? Being the worm who just lost nearly half his whole house because some jerk decided to eat an apple on the ground, whom after eating the apple destroyed the worms self-esteem by making the comparison to the worse thing possible. Or being raped by Zeus in the form of a worm.

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a horse walks into a bar, hours later it walks out on two legs and the man who saw it all happen couldn't believe his eyes. The man then turns to the bartender and says, "I theenk eye've had enuf, Cut me hoff!"

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Is your refrigerator running? Yes. Ok good, just checking. It would be a shame for your perishable foodstuffs to go bad.

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Why was the little girl crying? She got raped by a giant scorpion.

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I have read the Terms of Service.

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What is green and red and flies 100 miles an hour? Super Frog.

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Womens rights.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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