How do you upset a builder? Kill all his family.

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It was Jimmy's 18th bday so his parents let him have the house to himself. He ate shrooms, fucked his turtle, then had his dick bitten off.

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What is 2+2? 4!

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What is brown and sounds like a pickle? Poop

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Why did the man die? Supercalifragilisticexpialidosious

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Vote this up or I'll tell my mum!

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What's wrong with four black people in a cadillac driving off a cliff? The Cadillac holds 5

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So two guys walk into a bar and the third one ducks

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Yo mama's so fat she needed a toilet that had a bigger seat (just like me)

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Why didn't the mexican make the basketball team? He had never practiced and was overweight

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Why couldn't the pirate watch the violent movie? Because pirates died along time ago

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So a chef, a soldier, and a lawyer are riding in a plane. The pilot has a heart attack and they all die.

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What do you call a pig with 57 nipples? 3 more nipples and you can call it a 60 nippled-pig

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what's worse than the Holocaust. Finding two worms in your apple.

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You're such a baby, that you are still in diapers! Ew! How would you know creep!

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Did you know Dr Pepper isn't really a doctor?

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A man walks into a bar. He is a diabetic and promptly goes into a coma after drinking.

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There are 3 prisoners inside a cage. All the prisoners are blind folded and wearing hats. They are told there are 5 hats all together, 2 blue hats and 3 red hats. If one of them can answer what color hat they are wearing they are all set free. However, they have no idea what color hat they are wearing, only what color hat the other prisoners are wearing. They are also not allowed to tell what color the others are wearing. So the game begins: The first prisoner takes off his blind fold. The guard says "What color hat are you wearing?" and the first prisoner says "I don't know." The second prisoner takes off his blind fold. The guard says "What color hat are you wearing?" and the second prisoner says the same thing, "I don't know" Now the third prisoner didn't even need to take off his blind fold. He already knew the answer. He said, "Sir, I know I am wearing a red hat" The guard smiled and all the prisoners are set free. Why? If the first prisoner saw the other prisoners blue hats then he knows he's wearing a red hat because there are only 2 blue hats and 3 red hats. But he sees one guy wearing blue and one guy wearing red, so he says "I don't know." The second prisoner took off his blind fold and the same thoughts occur. If he saw the other prisoners wearing all 2 blue hats, then he knows he's wearing red. Instead, he sees one guy wearing a blue hat and the other guy wearing a red hat. So he says "I don't know" Now the third prisoner doesn't even need to take off his blind fold. Why? He heard the other prisoners saying they don't know, which led him to believe that all they saw was blue and red hats. That means if he takes of his blind fold he will see that both of the previous prisoners will be wearing blue hats and since there are only 2 blue hats available, he must be wearing a red hat.

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Your mom is so fat, she weighs 732 kilograms.

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What do you call a black guy selling drugs? A pharmacist.

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Gary: Stick your tongue out and say "I live in a pirate ship" Bruce: *sticks tongue out* "I lib inna pile of shiiit."

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why was Michael Jackson at K-Mart? They offer high quality items at a reasonable price and lay-away during the holidays.

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Why did the woman make a sandwich? She was hungry

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Why do black people like Black Friday? They can get fairly expensive appliances for a very reasonable price.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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