What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding it in your nose.

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What's worse than being beaten by your Father? Well, it depends.

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You know you're drunk when you've spend a significant amount of time consuming alcohol.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the bottom of a pit? Whatever his parents named him.

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A man was building a new kitchen for his wife. Just as he was installing the sink, his wife comes running into the kitchen and starts cursing. "What's the matter?" he asks. "Don't you like the new sink?" His wife replies, "I love it. But come quick, there's a spider in the living room!" The man walks over with a paper towel, grabs the spider, and throws it into the garbage. The wife looks at the husband, smiling, and says, "Thanks."

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A wise man once said, "I am wise".

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What did the Frog say to the other Frog? Nothing they can't speak

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what did batman say to robin before they got in the batmobile "robin, get in the batmobile"

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I'll take a Reuben, light sauce, and could you do Provolone instead of Swiss?

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Why did the Afircan child die? He had AIDS.

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An Artic Storm.

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People really hate it when sentenses don't end the way elephants wear hats

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How do you get down from a horse?? You don't... You get down from a duck.

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Comes a giraffe on a scooter to the hospital and asks: 'can I have some flour?'.

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Not gonna tell you, that was one weird story, I feel like super high right now.

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Q: What should you do when life gives you lemons? A: Life would never really give you lemons...

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roses are red violets are blue i have aids and now so do you.

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Why did the man jump off a cliff? Because he was committing suicide.

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Abstract thinking part one of... One: What kind of idiot tries to run trough a wall, rather than to just use the door? The "Idiot" is in a cell whose walls are made of thin wood plates, the door is made of steel and locked. How I cured my own damn anxiety five hundred of one: Now this is real see? I got stressed, damn it was like something that was not me but my body scared as shit began fearing for its life right my arms shaking like fuck sweat and all that crapa? So I got pissed got in front of the mirror, stared at myself and shouted "GODDAMN BODY YOU THINKS YOU CAN CONTROL ME? IF YOU DO NOT STOP BEING SO FUCKING AFRAID OF DEATH! THEN I WILL KILL YOU MYSELF!" So yeah unconventional indeed, but it worked for five times, and I never had to use it anymore. Moral: My own body and every fucking cell of it, is not the only one that fears me more than death.

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What is funny about a man who chews tobacco? Nothing, the man was diagnosed with mouth cancer at a young age and got his jaw removed, he was very upset.

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"How come the week takes so long but the weekend goes by so fast" "Because there are five days in the week and two in the weekend"

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Two men are sitting on a park bench discussing the anatomy of goats. Where is Bertha? Teaching the principals of mathematics to blind orphins in Moscow, Russia.

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What do you call a bad yo mama joke? your mom

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What is 5 brittish guys who can't sing and horrible music make .... one direction

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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