how do you make a fat black man cry? Rape his wife.

thumb_up thumb_down

What do you call an office worker with no arms or legs? A paraplegic.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

if dave has 50 candy bars and eats 45 what does he have? diabeties.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's DEAD!

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Happy Birthday!! Have some meth cupcakes.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

oh, you have a baby on board? I'll just drive into the the car next to you...

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What's the difference between a duck and a goose? They are obviously different species but they both have wings and are birds and are actually pretty similar. Geese are usually bigger though I guess.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Michel Moor on a die...

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Did you hear about the black man who went to college? Me too! I'm so proud of him!

thumb_up thumb_down +15

There are two gingerbread men in an oven and the one says " it's hot in here" the other says "holy crap it's a talking cookie!!!!!!!!"

thumb_up thumb_down +39

what does a chair look like? a chair.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

i like my coffee like i like my women ... with big titis

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Today, my house burned to the ground. FML.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What's 1+1? 4.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Punching a baby

thumb_up thumb_down

An Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman walked into a bar. The Englishman ordered a lager, the Irishman ordered a Guiness, and the Scotsman ordered tap water.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why do rabbits have such a reputation for rampant reproduction? Sex feels extra good for rabbits.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

It's April Fool's Day and a little boy runs up to his mom. "Daddy hung himself! He's in the attic!" The mom runs up to the attic, but the dad's not there. The boy looks at his mom and says, "April fools! He's in the basement!"

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What's green and bounces? An envious kangaroo.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Why did the girl fall off of the swing? Because she had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

If you go to America, you won't see any fat black people. They're all dead and in prison.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the man drive into the river? He was sleep deprived from working overtime.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the man with no arms or legs fall out of the tree? Because he got shot.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops