So two friends walk into a bar. One says to the bartender, "Get me a Miller Lite please." The bartender says, "Sure." The other friend says, "Get me a Cosmopolitan please." The bartender stares at him and says, "That is not the drink I was expecting you to order, but I respect your decision."

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A priest, R Kelly, and Michael Jackson walk into a bar. They proceed to molest small children.

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Roses are red, tires are black, why is your chest as flat as your back!

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Are you from Tenessee? I heard you were from there

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Brett Favre sent me a pic of his penis. I then compared it to my own and felt good about my general ackage size

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My mate mated with my mate's mate. mated of course meaning fucked.

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"Knock Knock," "Whos There?" "The Pizza Guy" "I hate pizza."

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What did the little girl with no arms or legs get for christmas? Nothing, she was Jewish.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had three balls.

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Q: Whats about two feet in width and length with purple veins throbbing at the sides? A: A midget slowly dying of frostbite

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What happens when you run over a mexican? The country gets one less illegal immigrant.

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McDonald's... Giving people with swag jobs since 1942.

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Why did the Japanese man fall down the stairs? He was blind and deaf and not aware of his surroundings to prevent himself from doing so.

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What's funnier than a midget bungie jumping? Nothing

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The duck walked up to the lemonade stand and he said to the man who was running the stand, hey I cancer CC

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What do you call a horny blond on the corner? A prostitute

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What do you call a blonde with big breasts? A woman. Some call her "mom".

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I will see it when I believe it, as far as your order or whatever goes, I have already taken a look, and its nothing for me, you hide behind idealism yet use cruel methods and inhuman tactics in order to justify your means, you hide behind a shell of fucking "charm" and employ people to harass others. YOU ARE NO FUCKING BETTER THAN THE REST! YOU ARE BENEATH ME! As for that sister fucking bullshit, joke is on you, I do not have a sister! I bet that was one of your fucking "Nero`s" all six billion of your fucking personality disorders. Moral: I am the FUCKING MORAL MAN! And while I do not have a sister to rape, ill get down with yours.

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why did the man reverse time? because his girlfriend died,also this man was super

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Yo mama so fat she was diagnosed with diabetes and now has to regulate her daily intake of foods.

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A man runs over a woman wth his car. Whose fault was it? The man because he should be driving on the roads, not in the kitchen.

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How do you make an elf sad? Murder his family.

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Disregard Females, Acquire Currency.

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Q: What is worse than bitting in to an apple and finding a worm? A: Bitting in to a worm and finding an apple.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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