A grasshopper walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, we have a drink named after you!" Surprised, the grasshopper replies, "You have a drink named 'Bob'?"

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Why was Jimi's mom sad? Because Jimi suddenly fell to the floor clenching his neck while saying "I'm Dying!"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was Tuesday, Popeyes has a special sale buy one get one free fried chicken. The chicken was like "Oh hell no, today's Tuesday? I'm funna get my feathery-asss out of here.." However, chickens do not know what day it is, nor do they care about being captured by humans. I also made up the part when the chicken began talking.

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What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer? This would be unlikely to happen, as it would cut the story short.

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Why did the lion go to the doctor? He was hungry for man flesh. -John R-

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What do you call cheese thats not yours? Somebody elses cheese

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What did the little boy get for Christmas? Nothing. He was Jewish.

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Q: how do you stop a baby's crying keeping you up at night A: pull out it's wind pipe

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What’s black and white and red all over? A zebra in a meat grinder

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Steve is an average man. He has a good life, is married and has 2 kids. So why did he have his dog put down? Because it was hit by a car and had 21 broken bones and was in severe pain. Steve thought putting it down was the best thing to do.

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Caca.

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How Do you put an elephant in a fridge? Open the door put the elephant in and close the door. How do you put a giraffe in a fridge? Open the door take the elephant out put the giraffe in and close the door. The lion king has a meeting with all the animals but one doesn't turn up, which one is it? The giraffe because it's still in the fridge.

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Light Yagami. I'm a gay light bulb :D

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Why did the black man commit suicide last tuesday? he was just fired from his job, his sister passed away, and he became depressed

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why did susie fall off the dollar coaster? it only cost 50 cents susie is gone now

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How many apples fit in a garbage bag? I actually don't know. I was asking you.

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Chrysanthemums our orange violettes are musical

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I chucked a shit and flushed the toilet.

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Lacrosse is the best sport in the world

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Why did the chicken cross the road? We will never know. Chickens are incapable of communicating with humans and thus the intent of the chicken is subject to speculation.

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I hate blackniggers

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's a woman

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Why did the skeleton not get invited to the party? Because he was a heroin addict

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how do u stop a cat from peeing on the floor? Kill it... haha

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops