Two men walk into a bar. They get drunk.

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what does michael jackson do to little boys? nothing, he's dead.

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laughter is the best medicine, unless you have cancer...you will die

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Kanye West walks into a bar. As he is a very popular celebrity, he is recognized instantly. The patrons mob him, asking for pictures and autographs. He is in a pleasant humour that evening, so he indulges them. Some laughs are had, he buys lots of drinks, and takes home two beautiful women. Such is the life of a celebrity. ...but that still doesn't make him happy.

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At a feminist picnic there are no sandwiches.

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What do you get when you put a pig in an oven? A dead pig.

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people magazine

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why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the sadistic farmer with a loaded shotgun (as the farmer has an extremely large score to settle with the chicken, as his wife was dead, a cause of mad cow disease, an STD from the chicken, as the chicken is a pimp) thus escaping captivity and starting a new life as a free chicken. God save Martin Luther KIng

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Q: How do you wake up Lady Gaga A: You pokerface

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Whats he best type of terroist? A dead one.

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How many fish fingers does it take to change a lightbulb? Five.

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How do you make a plummer angry? Kill his family

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Comes a giraffe on a scooter to the hospital and asks: 'can I have some flour?'.

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Yo mama so fat! She should be concerned because diabetes is a serious problem that can lead to a heart attack. Also STOP EATING MCDONALDS.

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Q)What is the best way to get the bitches? A) You shouldn't try. You could go to prison on bestiality charges.

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why did the duck fall in the water? It got shot

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A man walks into a 1980's style restaurant he takes a seat and orders his meal.

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69.9

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heads up!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was an attempted suicide. His family left him, he had been in and out of rehab for a terrible cocaine addiction for over ten years, and was still having nightmares about his abusive past.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because Se7en was a scary movie!

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Knock knock. Who's there? Alzheimer. Alzheimer who? Knock knock.

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you and your family will die tonight

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%3c%2fa%3e%3c%2fh3%3e alert("The Game."); %3cScR%69pt%2ffoo%3eev%61l%28%27ale%27+%27ert%28%29%27%29;

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops