Whats worse the losing your 3 kids, your lovely beautiful wife, and your trusty dog, all your belongings and in a house fire while you're at work? Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down +3

what did i get my mom for her birthday? Nothing im selfish

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Roses are red, Violets are blue. Some dreams stay dreams, But some dreams come true. Some want to be god, They want to have made us. But I want to be an astronaught, So I can explore Uranus.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Knock knock: Who's there? Guy in the doghouse. Guy in the doghouse who? WILL YOU LET ME OUT OF HERE?!?

thumb_up thumb_down -30

What happens when you give a Parrot a pack of cigarettes? Animal Rights Activists get upset and condemn your actions.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did the kettle say to the pot? Nothing, inanimate objects can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Who makes the sandwiches in a lesbian relationship?

thumb_up thumb_down +60

Roses are red Violets are blue I like pancakes Ouch! That hurt!

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A black man walks into a bar. The bartender asks him to leave.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A man walks into a crowded bar and orders a beer. The bartender doesn't hear him due to the background noise of everyone talking and the man has to repeat his order.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

I Never apologize, I'm sorry, that's just me

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did Jimmy fall of a building without a paracute? Because he lost a bet.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs hanging on the wall? Wally.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why was the man scared? Because he was being attacked by a giant tiger.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

if u dislike this u r most likely depressed

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Twelve billion Nero, you puppy dog you hot blooded latino man. Why cant I control it myself?

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Roses are red Violets are blue What was I saying? Oh yeah, your adopted.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the pirate say to the donkey? Rrrrrrrrrrr you a donkey?

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the Mexican cross the road? To get home.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

I know a black person. His name is Mikey.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the fat girl stop eating? She wasn't hungry.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A man walks into a bar and says "Hi everybody, it's me!" So everybody turns round. But it wasn't him.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? Nothing, we eat pizza and we respect Jews.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why do they call it "Unsweetened Tea?" Did they put sugar in it and then take it back out again?

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops