Keanu Reaves

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A blond and his wife were in the hospital expecting their first child together. The wife gives birth to twins and the husband turns to her and says, "I can't believe we had twins. I'm so happy!"

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What's better than eating baby? Nothing.

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A man walks in to a bar and says "ouch."

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I jacked off over a blind girl the other day, she never saw me coming

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What do you get when you cross professor plum with a candle stick in the library? A dead prostitute. Try and be more careful next time.

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Why did the black guy get fired from his job. I asked first.

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You cant spell chorus with out... Vagina!

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Why was the black man smoking marijuana with his friends? He was at a glaucoma support group meeting.

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How long does it take to cook a baby in the microwave? I don't know, I was too busy jacking off.

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Why did the bakery run out of the business? They weren't making enough dough

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What's the difference between peanut butter and jelly ? Among many things, one is made with peanut butter, the other with fruits.

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How do you confuse a blonde? To get to the other side

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Cigarettes are a lot like hamsters. Perfectly harmless until you put them in your mouth and catch them on fire.

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why dose micheal jackson like 29 year olds Because there is 20 of them

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dinosours eat beagles and then unicorns eat norwalls then th shiny squarles eat you then unvirse inploads

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There was a blond girl, a redhead, and a brunette. They all walk into a hotel and are granted equally friendly desk service because hair color is not a reliable indicator of intelligence or economic status.

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cheese

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Roses are red, They are also violet, yellow, white, pink, orange, purple, or orange.

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Why did the man cross the road? To attend his wife's funeral.

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What did the kid with cancer get for Christmas? A visit from the Make a Wish Foundation and the opportunity to see her favorite band in concert. Unfortunately, she was very ill from the chemotherapy, and was unable to really enjoy herself at the concert. She passed away several days later, surrounded by family and friends.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Where is my tractor?"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? So he could walk into the mall and kill hundreds of innocent lives and leave thousands wounded.

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fun fact for the day: 100% of people that drink water die sooner or later

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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