What is a ghost's favorite appetizer? Ghosts aren't real.

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Q. How many people use MySpace? A. Pfft who uses MySpace

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Why aren't dragons real? Because if any animal were to breath fire (let alone have a gland that produced it), they would cease to live for their necks would scorch from the inside out.

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how do you make a joke act like yourself

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A girl hears a noise in the middle of the night in her kitchen downstairs. She walks down halfway through the staircase and asks if anyone is there, as if the intruder will say, "Yes, I'm in the kitchen. Want me to make you a sandwich?" *This will never happen. Movies are stupid when it comes to these scenes. No one will actually ask if anybody is there if they hear a noise in the middle of the night.*

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What did Pittsburgh say to Philadelphia? .........Lightbulb.........

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You go on Nero, he got all red, not sure if he is mad or ashamed or both, but we can all tell that man is jealous. Employee.

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Whats the difference between a pizza and a baby? Humans don't eat babies, other than a Cannibals because some tend to eat babies.

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I went to the zoo yesterday. There was only one dog, it was a shitzu

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how many birds did chuck norris kill with one stone? one.

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What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot.

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what do you call gingers ugly.

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If an iPad 2 is better than an iPad 1, than what's better than an iPad 2? An iPad 3

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knock, knock come in

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I had a joke about a tie, but it wasn't funny.

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What's more traumatising than watching your dad raping a man? Watching a man raping your dad.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's blind. Also, she's been dead for 43 years.

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An Englishman, Irishman and Scotsman walk into a bar. It happens frequently at UK airports.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Seven looked angry and had a gun.

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whats yellow? lots of things.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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What did Hitler say to Obama Nothing because Hitler is dead.

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whats white and pointless? chalk.

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Why are black people faster than white people? They are descended from a lineage where athleticism was more greatly selected for in the evolutionary process.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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