Q) what happens when you tackle someone with 2 legs? A) you fall over

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An Englishman, Scotsman and an Irishman walk into a pub where they are presented with a situation, the Englishman and Scotsman react appropriately but the Irishman does something foolish.

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Don't chop the dinosaur daddy! OK.

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do not read this(this is intended to be read)

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You mamma's so fat that even Dora can't explore her!

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How many Polacks does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One. A person's ethnicity or country of origin, or religion for that matter, would have no bearing on one's ability to perform the relatively simple task of installing a light-bulb. Furthermore, there is no reason to use the negative slur 'polack' when referring to a person of Polish descent.

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Albert and Hunter, Forever in love < 3

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cory is gay

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Why are you asleep? Because I'm tired.

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What do Lebron James and Bill Murray have in common? They are both black basketball players. Except for bill murray

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Why did the boy fall out of the plane. Because the plane was on fire.

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A Christian and an Atheist are in a bar, the Christian turns to the Atheist and says "If you don't believe in god you will go to hell." The Atheist replies "Your Mom doesn't believe in god." And then turns around to order another drink.

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Knock knock! Knock knock!! Knock knock!!! Knock knock!!!! WHOSE THERE! Wait its a woodpecker

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What does Yoko Ono say while rehearsing her song before a concert? She gives directions to the band.

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Your mother is so fat, she really could stand to lose a few pounds.

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Two friends are arguing over who is the best pie maker. '' I've made pumpkin, apple, peach, cherry, blueberry, and sweet potato!" " Yeah well I've made all of those AND pecan!'' ''Yeah well have you ever made boysenberry pie?!" "No! What the hell!" *in a calm tone* " Yeah, me neither."

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Why did the snowman melt? It got tired of everyday life and decided that it would be best if he disappeared from society... His name was Dave...

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What do you get if you take the head off a Koala and a Wombat and swap them around? A bloody mess and about 4 years in jail.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Dog. Dog who? I have a dog.

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Once, I went to Peru.

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When an anvil and a feather are dropped off a building the anvil will hit the ground first because it's heavy

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This guy dies and his wife gets him cremated. She takes the ashes home and lays them out on the table and starts talking to them. "You know that fur coat you promised me? I bought it with the insurance money. You know the new car you promised me? I bought it with the insurance money." Then she whispers, "You know that blow job I promised you? Well, here it comes..."

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A black man walks into a store and buys a gun based upon the increasing crime rate in his area. He stops for lunch and heads home.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? If you don't know the answer by now, there's something wrong with you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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