How do you make someone cry? Shit on them

Billy and Joseph are playing Rock paper scissors. Billy says paper. Joseph proceeds to throw a rock as hard as he can at Billys face and sends him to the emergency room where he was later diagnosed with terminal testicular cancer.

How do you kill Osama Bin Laden? Get The Navy Seals To Infiltrate his compound.

why do muslims always turn to their left? Because they don't have their rights.

what’s worse than 12 dead babies in one trash can? one dead baby in 12 trash cans

what is the difference between a Porsche and a pile of dead babes. when i saw the Porsche i told the guy nice car and he was like yea whatever then i went and killed 50 babes and lost conciseness when i woke up i saw the Porsche again and thought what a nice car and when i saw the babes i thought what kind of monster killed all those babes

Never go into your parents room with a blacklight.. -Ryan Vallee

whats orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot

Hey I just met you And this is crazy But I have Alzheimer's Hey i just met you

I smacked my crotch with the back end of a hammer. I got a free vasectomy.

How do you make an elf sad? Murder his family.

Why is a bird when it flies? Because the higher it goes the much.

Knock knock. Who's there? The Gestapo.

I rode in to town on an ass... ur momas ass!!

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penis hehehehe

Why are black people so good at basketball? Hard work and determination.

How could they tell Michael Jackson was dead? He showed no vital signs.

knock knock who's there?

What did the one Brick say to the other Brick? We have the same name.

What do you call an anti joke that's not funny? Non-existent.

I went to visit my friend last week (not a guy, guys as friends? Thats just gay, I mean you fuck all of your friends right?) And she was really happy and stuff right? I mean REALLY happy, and the poor thing was depressed for like 8-9 months or something. So I was like: ARE YOU HIGH RIGHT NOW? >:( She said: YEAH I AM HIGH ON LIFE! I looked down at the ground, it contained a full box full of syringes and needles! So I grabbed the whole thing and threw them out! So then I learned what Insulin was anyways. Ps: Depressed, pregnant... Not sure anymore, it was like two weeks ago or something.

i dont like chris

What happened to the prisoner who dropped the soap while in the shower with other men? Another prisoner picked up and gave it to him and finished showering and felt squeaky clean.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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