what is the different between a prostitute and your wife one is on contract and the other pay as you go

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Your mama is so ugly. But she is still a respected member of the community

thumb_up thumb_down -23

"your momma's so fat that she died in her sleep last night," said the doctor. "There was nothing we could do."

thumb_up thumb_down -36

What do you call a blonde who passed the SAT's? An excellent student.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Whats worse than getting a papercut on the side of your finger? Being shot in the face by a shotgun that shoots fireworks that explodes into chainsaw bullets.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

My grandmother's zodiac sign was cancer, and she was killed by a giant crab.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What did the English teacher write on a sheet of assignment criteria? The assignment criteria. Plus, she spelled "millennium" wrong.

thumb_up thumb_down -65

What's Hitler's favorite drink? Jews (meaning juice)

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Me Chinese Me no joke Me die of cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How did the blonde get blood on her Ipad? A terrible paper cut.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What is the oppisite of water? Dry!

thumb_up thumb_down +136

What was the little boys least favorite part of Christmas? Getting raped by his uncle.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do you call a black man with a peg leg? Disabled

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A pirate walks out of a bar. He drowns in a puddle.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Try this on someone... go up and say "Ive got a great knock knock joke for you but you have to start" there response "Ok, knock knock" you say "Who's there?" They are usually dumbfounded and a hilarious awkward silence ensues

thumb_up thumb_down +3,636

A boy walks up to a girl and says "Do you like ice cream? Cuz I have a huuuuuge penis."

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It died. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What is the difference between a fridge? I'm sorry, I have a severe mental disability and telling jokes is not... F'tang F'tang Zoop Pong Wii!

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Knock knock. Who's there? Fred. Hello Fred.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

yo mamma so ugly I think she has cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did the homeless man get for Christmas?... A warm meal, a shower, and a place to sleep courtesy of the local homeless unit.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A horse walks into a bar, the bartender says: Why the long face? The horse says: "My wife's dead."

thumb_up thumb_down -6

a man walks into a bar some other people get up and greet him as they are his friends. he then has a great night with his friends. he goes home and goes to sleep. he wakes up with a man next to him

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's been hit millions of times? A woman married to an abusive husband.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops