Why did the baby fall off of the swing? Because he had no arms.

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How did the marines cross the minefield safely at night? Under a full moon

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why is everyone always picking on ruth? because they just do

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Q: What starts with "P" and ends with "orn"? A: Popcorn Q: What starts with "F" and ends with "UCK"? A: F'uck you -Ap

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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You know what's addicting? Heroine.

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What did the tree say to the other tree?....nothing cause trees can't talk!

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so a man walks into a store looking for a new sheet,the cashier he goes to is chinese He leaves with a new sheet and is satisfied with it,oh wait,he gave me a pile of shit,sorry guys i had to -chuckles

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I dont no the difference between their and there

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whats more annoying than being raped by a giant scorpian? finding out that half the anti-jokes are terrible

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pants on the ground pants on the ground lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground

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what did the postman say to the dog, nothing he doesnt speak dog....... but his mother in law does.

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Why did the man stand on one foot? Because he had one leg.

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What did Emmanuel Frimpong say to George Elokobi? you sir, are DENCH

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Why couldn't the Asian reach the sink? Because he was a 4 year old boy, and was only about 3 feet tall.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I hate rhyming Penis

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In Soviet Russia, you shit on bird.

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Insert joke that isn't even an anti joke = The new jokes on anti joke now.

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I enjoy Popcorn

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What does a turkey do? I don't know I'm not a turkey

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Why don't women know how to drive a car? Because there are no roads between the kitchen and the bedroom.

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How many midgets can you fit into a telephone booth? Well, it really depends on a lot of factors. The size and design of the phone booth itself is pretty important. Also, midgets really have a wide range of sizes, but we could do some analysis and find out the average at least. Based on that we could have an estimate done soon.

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a penguin biked to a bakery he walked in and asked for buns the baker said how many 12 or 13 the penguin said it don't matter I brought my bike

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A penis walks into a bar..

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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