How do you get a black kid to sleep? A cup of warm milk and maybe a lulluby should do it.

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Are you well? No, I'm not a well, I'm a person.

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What's brown and dirty? Dirt.

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If you can dodge a traffic, that probably has little or no relation to how well you can dodge a ball.

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What is green and fuzzy and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

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Yo Mumma so dumb she has to climb over a glass wall to see whats on the other side.... Yo Mumma's so fat when she walked past the tv she made me miss 5 series... Yo Mumma's so fat when god said let there be light she had to move out of the road. That's nearly all that I have, but if u have one leave it in the comment

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What's the difference between a grape and a duck? They're both purple, apart from the duck.

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What did the black girl say when sho dropped her phone? Oh crap, I dropped my phone.

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What happens when you put a baby in the microwave? I don't know, cause I was to busy jerking off.

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A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver come in a gulp the guys drink down The man starts crying the lorry driver says"don't cry I will buy you another" The guy says "it's not that: Today I woke up late for work and when I finally got there my boss fired me so I get in my car to go home and it wont start so I walk home while it's raining and when I got in I found that my wife was sleeping with the gardener so I came down here and asked for some poison and you went and drank it"

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You should put some sand in your vagina to make the crabs feel more at home.

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What did the kid with no arms or legs get for christmas? A Wii.

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What do you call a man with no penis? WOahMan! O_o

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Daniel G. Likes to perve on the boys in the locker room. Change quick guys!

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what did the lawyer say to the lawyer? "whats up lawyer?" what did the banana say to the banana? nothing bananas dint talk...

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kushagra tyagi

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Why did the Jewish man commit suicide? Because he was not happy with his life.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Say, "Wake up!"

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How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

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What glows in the dark and is really annoying? A glow in the dark chimpanzee

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God hates fags, no...god i'snt real

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what is the difference between a jew and a pizza? Jews are people and regularly attend a synagogue and pizza is and italian food that many people find to be enjoyable to eat

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Jimmy can't drive the tractor. Why can't Jimmy drive the tractor? Because he's a patato

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Lizzy doesnt shave or shower. She just went to the bathroom in the middle of the school hallway

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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