Why did the horse fall over? Because I shot it

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Q. How do you get a dinosaur off a slide? A. You tell him he hasn't lived for billions of years.

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Where did little Timmy go when the bomb dropped? Everywhere.

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Want to hear an anti-joke?

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SUCK MY 29 AND A HALF FOOT LONG DICK BITCH JUST KIDDING............ IT IS 69 FEET LONG GIGADY

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What do you call a deer with no legs? Legs in the City

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Knock knock! Who's there? Girl scouts selling cookies! I'm not legally allowed within 500 yards of you. Please get off my property.

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Chuck Norris doesn't wait in traffic, he takes the subway

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Why are anti jokes so repetitive? Because you're reading too many, get off your computer.

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The president, Oprah and Abraham Lincoln are sitting in a crashing airplane. lol

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?"i'm so turned on right now." - horny light bulb

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Popsicles

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What's worse than 10 babies in one trash can? One baby in 10 trash cans.

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What did the cancer patient get for Christmas? Nothing, cause he didn't make it till Christmas...

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What does it mean if you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars? You both have five dollars

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You know that song "FIrework" by Katy Perry? Well, I ate a hotdog last night.

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A man walks into a bar, looks to the right and sees a man one foot tall playing the piano, he sits at the bar and says to the bar tender,"I'm feeling kind of down" the bar tender gives him a bottle of very strong alcohol and later that night he goes home and hangs himself.

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Why did the armless girl fell off the swing? Because somebody pushed her. Why did se fell again? Because somebody pushed her again.

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Stevie wonder walks across the road without looking both ways.

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Roses are blue Violets are red I'm bad at poetry Potato

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how do you get a happy man to stop smiling? hit him in the face repeatedly untill he is dead.

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Q: Why did the officer stop the black SUV? A: Because it was going way over the speed limit.

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so one day i was getting my daughter artemisia ready for school and so i came in her room and got her pants and so i put it on and then i said did you grow during the summer really did you and then she said daddy both of my feet are stuck on one side of the leg

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When is a Jew the sleepiest? Depends on the time really... some people sleep and wake up on different biological calendars.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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