I called your friend gay and he hit me with his fist because he was angry at me for using gay in a derogatory way.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How do you occupy a blonde for a day ? You put her in a round room and tell her to sit in a corner. ... That or you strap a bomb to her, give her a list of twelve billion things to do, and tell her the bomb will explode if she doesn't do everything on the list.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Whats worse then nailing ten babies to a tree? Nailing one dead baby to ten trees.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

why did the cow eat a computer? Why? Who knows

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Roommate 1: I want to make food but I'm not going to Roommate 2: Why not? Roommate 1: Because I'm tired and lazy.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Women's Basketball.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

You know who can't stand to put up with my shit? Polio victims.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Q: Why did the policeman stare at the big-breasted victim? A: She was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

why did matt die? He had cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -30

How do you get rid of black elephants? Arrest it for being black.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A man buys some expensive lingerie for his wife on the occasion of their 10th wedding anniversary. After a lovely candlelight dinner at home, he tells her to close her eyes at which point he retrieves the gift box containing her anniversary present. Thoroughly exited, she rips open the box and takes out the beautiful garment, holding it up to the light in wide-eyed amazement. Her husband gives her a suggestive wink and says "would you like to join me in the bedroom to try it on?" To which she replies, "I AIN'T YER WHORE!"

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Barack Obama and a kangaroo pull up to a gas station. The gas station attendant takes one look at the kangaroo and says, "You know, we don't get many kangaroos here." Barack Obama replies, "At these prices, I'm not surprised. That's why we need to reduce our dependence on foreign oil."

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Some guy: Which of these is not delicious,watermelon,chicken,or kool aid. Black guy: What?

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Ask me if I'm an orange. Are you an orange? No...........

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Q: How do mentally retarted people read books A: They dont

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Q: which is easier to unload a truck of dead babies or a truck of alove babies? A: dead babies cause u can use a pitchfork

thumb_up thumb_down -9

want to go home? yea

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did priences Dian cross the street? Cause she wasn't wearing a seatbelt!!

thumb_up thumb_down -3

why do people copy other people's anti-jokes? because they don't have a life nor an imagination. P.S. if this gets a lot of thumbs ups, expect another one soon from one of those people who copy others anti-jokes...

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Knock knock.* Who is it? The police. We have news that your daughter was molested and will never been seen again for the man who stole her has takin' her out of our jurisdiction.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Roses are red Violets are blue Most poems rhyme This one doesn't

thumb_up thumb_down +12

My name's Forrest Gump. People call me Forrest Gump.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw you seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasn't that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops