Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the dead one.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A mushroom walks into a crowded bar, the bartender says "we don't serve your kind here." Protestingly, the mushroom replies, "why not? I am a spore reproducing eukaryote!" Everyone stares as an awkward silence ensues.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, This one doesn't.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

If your waiting in a restaurant for a waiter, doesn't that make you a waiter? O.o

thumb_up thumb_down

An Asian walks into a bar and says, "1???????????"

thumb_up thumb_down -3

what did the man do when he fell off the top of a building? Nothing He DIED!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What's worse than the holocaust? Two holocausts What's worse than two holocausts? Twilight

thumb_up thumb_down +13

what is purple and fly? - a purple flying.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

jimmy carr walks into a tax office.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A man walked on the street where he saw an other man. The two men said: "Hi!" to each other and walked together down the road. Then one of the men got ran over by a car. The other man said: "ROFL".

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What do u do to blow off steam? I simply go to the top of the empire states building, poor gasoline in a bag, put a baby in it, light it on fire, and through it off the side. problem?

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What's blue and smells like red paint? That blue guy from Megamind.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Knock Knock Who's there? Pussy... Do you get it? Think about what you just answered.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A antijoke? The "new and better" Duke Nukem. "Power armor is for poossies! My ego is going to... ARGH! Both my arms are blown away... well Duke Nukem is too awesome! He uses his legs..ARGH MY LEGS! Well Duke Nukem is dead... but his ego will keep the remains of his corpse fighting aliens! Yeah ego!" Nukem: I got balls of fail...

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Whats the difference between pizza and Jews Pizzas dont scream when their put in the oven

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Why was the black man sad? People were frequently talking and whispering about his dark colouring behind his back. Also he had no legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Shane Murchan is GAY ..... :L

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Two women were sitting quietly.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Wanna hear a funny story? Sure Ok.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

How could the teacher tell that the student was dead? logic

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Two men sit down at a bar. First man: I hear you're having a baby! Second man: My wife had a miscarriage. First man: Oh.... The talking ceased

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What did little John get from reading this. Wait and you will see that the person who you were asking the question will give you a series of awkward faces until they lose interest.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Whats the difference beetween a pilgrim and a jack-o-lantern? Jack-o-lanters didn't discover america.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops