What did the clinically depressed man get for Christmas? He received many of splendid gifts and a joyous day with his family. He realized that his life isn't so bad after all, and went home with his head held high. He was then eaten by a vicious looking 7.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why didn't the man have a vagina? Trick Question. Everybody has a vagina.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

So a moose, a deer, and a horse walk into a bar. One of the people at the bar was a hunter who was carrying his gun. Several people got up and left after they realized the potential danger of the situation.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a tomato.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

how does an Arab scare someone He does a countdown

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What does a snowplow clearing an empty parking lot look like? A horse running freely in a pasture

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Were can you find a bag of meth? A drug dealer

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Homosexual babies? It's a choice

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Found out my dad was gay the other day. Now I have to take him to dance clubs, take him to musicals and find the man who gave birth to me.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

When black people wore their pants low, white people called it "Saggin" little did they know that "saggin" spelled backwards is "white supremacy" those sneaky white people

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Roses are Red Violets are Blue Violets are not blue They are Violet

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What did Bill go for his birthday? No where someone slashed his tires.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

What do you call a calculator without a brain? A calculator.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why couldn't he play piano? Because he is an untalented piece of shit.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why couldn't Johnny drive? Because he had no arms or legs. Why didn't he have any arms or legs? Because Johnny was a potato.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What happened to the Californian who drove off into the sunset. He died. You can't drive in the ocean.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What has 4 eyes and cant see? Mississippi

thumb_up thumb_down -20

69

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why did the girl scream? She was being raped.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How many dead babies does it take to paint a house red. Babies, especially dead ones cannot paint.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Did you know that every 60 seconds in Africa a minute passes

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why do sharks swim in salt water? Pepper water makes them sneeze! Why do whales swim in salt water? They can't survive in fresh water.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops