A blonde girl walks into a hairdressers and asks for a slight trim. She leaves the hairdressers fairly happy with the result although she was unhappy with the price which she later concluded was most likely because of the rising inflation. However overall she felt it had been a successful outing.

What is large, white, and can't climb trees? A refrigerator.

What's small, yellow and great with numbers? A yellow calculator

What do you call a white guy surrounded by 10 black guys? A friendly individual who cares nothing about racial differences and instead judges people based on character.

Why isn't eating an Olympic sport? Because that wouldn't make any sense.

Your mama so stupid. She tried to climb over a glass wall to see the other side

Your Mom is so fat... I'm sorry I didn't mean that.. I have abandonment issues.

Penal Dysfunction

Why did the ceiling fall down? Because there weren't any walls.

there were two cyclists cycling at a steady pace down a main road in china, one being irish and the other chinese. now they both happened to be cycling at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace. so why did the irish cyclist get pulled over and the chinese not? because the irish cyclist had in fact brutally raped and murdered a young child in his home town and then fled the country to china, where as the chinese man had not committed any crime.

When you hit an animal Realize your out of your mind Then realize the animals mind is over there in the ditch.

you know what they say about men with big feet... damn you got some big feet.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding an apple-sized tumor in your colon

1 pack of bacon 2 fat guys. They both die fighting over it.

what did the lesbian do with the other lesbian? played badminton

Two men walk into a bar. The third one ducks.

what did the prostitute say to the black man after they had sexual intercorse? I have aids

What did one baby say to the other? Nothing, they were both killed in a building collapse.

Two ducks are sitting in the bathtub. One asks, "Hey, can you please pass the soap?" The other responds, "Sure, if you pass the typewriter."

What did the vibrator say to the condom? Watch, I'll get laid before you do!!!

What do you call someone who puts one number on here as a joke? Someone with no life.

what do friends and trees have in common? If you hit them with an axe multiple times they fall over

What green and eats rocks? Grass, i lied about the rocks

What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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