*knock knock* "who's there?" "me, the person who knocked..duh"

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Hello we are from the church of the latter day saints.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Why did suzy not eat her breakfast? because i stapled her to the table.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

what's funnier than 1 Mecican? 2 Mexicans

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What is the difference between a ginger and a pile of bricks? nothing. nothing at all.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Q: Whats worse than finding 10 babies in a trash can? A: Finding 1 baby in 10 trash cans!

thumb_up thumb_down -41

How do you find a needle in a haystack? You don't, you're too distracted by the pile of adorable kittens next to it

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's a woman.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Whats worse then dieing and going to hell? Waking up and going to school.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What kind of pizza did the world trade center order? Two cheese pizzas.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did the Hungarian say before he went to bed? "I'm going to bed," but he said it in Hungarian.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Anti Jokes = Drained

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What is better then winning the special olympics? Not being retarded

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How come Helen Keller didn’t scream when she fell off the cliff? Because at 19 months she contracted an illness that left her blind and deaf and therefore never learned to properly use her vocal cords

thumb_up thumb_down -20

You heard about that piece of shit that says no all the time? Yes, I bet you haven't though. no.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

why did the duck cross the road? More than likely there was something that appeals to the duck on the other side such as a pond or duck food. On the contrary there could also be something that did not appeal to the duck on the side from which he is departing from such as a lack of a pond or a lack of duck food.

thumb_up thumb_down +65

Have you ever had Ugandan food? Neither have they.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What's endangered like the Spotted Owl? A Cancer patient.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

a child swallows a cleaning product, why is he given chocolate milk? to make him happy before he dies

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Linda: See that rainbow? Isn't it beautiful? Bart: I'm color blind.... Linda: Well...this is awkward...

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How do you put your babysitter in jail? Kill your kid on her shift.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

why did the puppy have a sticky tongue? because its owner was abusive and made the puppy lick peanut butter from his balls

thumb_up thumb_down -34

What starts with "R" and ends in "JUR"? RJUR.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the blonde fail her drug test? She's actually never did drugs before but since she didn't show up for appointment, that counts as an automatic fail.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops