Q: I have a bed, but never sleep, I have a mouth, but never speak. What am I? A: Stephen Hawking

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Why did the whale cross the ocean? To reproduce as a way of life.

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Why did the Mexican steal a pack of tortillas? To feed his family. He didn't have the necessary funds to pay for it.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? cause' he was annoyed with all the stereotypcial idiots who insist he crosses the road for comical value

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What has four legs and one arm? An attack dog in a daycare.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse says, "I have cancer."

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because it slipped from his hand.

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Q Why did the chicken cross the road A Nobody knows why because nobody is psych

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What do you calk a couple of friends hanging out? An intimate get-together.

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What's worse than crying over spilt milk? The Holocaust.

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What turns red and explodes in a microwave A cat

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What's white and red all over? A baby in a blender

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"So can we take the rest of the schoolday off?" the students asked. The teacher then asked: "Why?" The students explained: "Because some of us live far away and it's impossible to get through the masses of snow, especially if the snowfall continues like this." "Well, I can't give you time off, because the principal haven't said it has snowed enough just yet." he responded.

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What did the audience watching inception say at the end ................ WAT THE FUK

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Why did the man cry... He got hit with a fridge

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why was the boy sad. his father is an alcoholic that beats him daily.

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how do you make a janeter cry, you shit on the floor

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why did the baby fall out of the tree? the monkey dropped it. why did the monkey drop the baby? it was dead.

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Friends are like snow: If you piss on them, they disappear.

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whats do dinosaurs and people have in common? one of them is extinct.

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Why did John fall down the stairs? Because John is a paraplegic and is incapable of going to down stairs without aid.

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What's worse than being named SAID? Having AIDS.. And getting a bee sting - it hurts like ****!

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Why do people always walk so slow when your in a rush to get somewhere? They don't it just seems like that

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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