how do you kill a bird? tie it to a tree throw a wasp nest at it and run the tree over with a semi filled with manure

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One day a married couple have a conversation. The husband says, "Make me a sandwich." The wife says, "Okay, what do you want on it?"

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Two girls are sitting quietly.

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What do you call a horse with two legs? A kangaroo

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Why did the little girl keep running into things Because she was blind

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A serial killer kills a family of 5 He is never found and eventually kills himself from depression

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knock knock, whos there? billy i dont know who you are, please get away from my front door before i call the authorities

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What do you call a dinosaur with no teeth? He's British

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Come on children, don't dawdle.

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Why can't the toucann fly anymore? Because they're extinct

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What did the doctors tell the boy with cancer who is on his way to being released from the hospital? "you are going to die," why give him hope and be proved wrong. This way if they are wrong the whole situation is a miracle, if they are right..... "I told you so"

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Why was the gay man gay? Because he likes touching other guys penises

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What has legs but may never walk? A Vietam Vet

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Your mom is so fat, when she farts, I can use her underwear as a hot air balloon

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You want to know what is worse than having a teen parent? Being a teen parent.

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Q: How do you kill a Brazilian Blind Electric Ray? A: Killing endangered species is a crime.

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What did the cat say to the rabbit? Nothing, cats are incapable of human speech as far as scientists are concerned. Also, the mouse was having a bad day. Rutabaga.

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i hate when mothers said " clean your room" me " why " mom " because we have guest coming " me " oh i am sorry i didn't know we are all gathering in my f**king room

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A panda bear walks into a bar. The bartender then alerts the zoo of the whereabouts of their missing panda.

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Compton

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My sister has to take a dump

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two muffins are in an oven one muffin says man its pretty hot in here and the other muffin says oh my god a talking muffin

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there were ten in the bed and the little one said roll over so they all rolled over and one fell out then got back up and punched the little one in the face saying good night

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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