what did the boy say when his friend was having a panic attack? "don't panic!" rather earnestly in the hope that his friend's breathing returned to normal as panic attacks can be very uncomfortable and place too great a strain upon the cardio and respiratory functions.

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hey whats your name Im gonna hit you so hard........ that im gonna knock your block off

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A blind guy sees a nuclear bomb.... he dies.

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how many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? 2 one to hold the latter and one to put it in

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because the crossing gaurd allowed him to

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Why are anti-jokes so funny?

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i feel like when the radish was discovered someone was like "hey lets call it rad!" and another guy was like "lets dial it down a bit"

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How do you keep someone in suspense? I'll tell you tomorrow.

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What's the difference between a pizza and a Jew? If you eat a Jew, you're deemed a cannibal and are frowned upon by the majority of society.

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How do you get a baby out of the blender? Pour it

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Why did the house stink? There were decomposing bodies under the floor boards.

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Why did Suzy fall of the swing? -she had no arms Knock Knock Who's there? Not Suzy

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What's the sexiest thing on a farm? It depends on what you find sexy, and your personal perception of a farm.

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what happens when an Indian walks into a bar? they realize they found there way home

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People are like cats, they both die when they're suffocated

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a man walked into a bar.the bar was metal and he cracked his skull

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Why couldn't the Hispanic guy become a firefighter? Because the fire chief was racist.

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Jack was nimble, Jack was quick, Jack sat on his candle, and burnt his ass.

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Why did the child say he had been a ubused. Answer: because he had been.

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What's green and has wheels? Nope, it's a car.

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Whats worse than falling down the stairs? Falling UP the stairs.

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Billy comes home from playing with his friend as he walks to his front yard he comes across his mother...she is dead on the floor his friend then says "im SO sorry your mom is dead but at least you still have your dad" Billy than replies "my mom is my dad" billy then is put into a foster home and spends years trying to recover from the fact that he is the freak offspring of a hermaphrodite

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What does a boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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An Antihumorous Story Part One A rich man named Richard told his son James that he could have anything in the world for his thirteenth birthday. James only asked for one thing: a silver box containing 542 pink ping pong balls. So Richard gave him a metal box containing 542 pink ping pong balls. Five years later, Richard heard a strange noise coming from James' room. It was the sound of a machine whirring, then a high pitched scream. All of a sudden, James bursted out of his room and ran out of the house. Later, the boy could not recall the incident. It was completely erased from his memory. For his eighteenth birthday, James asked for a golden box containing 785 pink ping balls. So it was granted him. For the next ten years, Richard kept a careful eye on his son. Every night, James could be heard whispering madly, "It's almost ready," over and over. For his twenty-eighth birthday, James asked for a simple wooden box that had one million pink ping pong balls inside. "What do you need all those pink ping pong balls for?" Richard finally asked. James froze, fiddling with something in the pocket of his jacket. "Oh yes, that. They were necessary for--" Then he got hit by a bus.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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