See what I did here? ;) Ladies, I just need some space okay? Damn Space Invaders... Ijustmetthespaceinvaderstheytookmyspace << DOUBLE MEANING!

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Why do women live longer? Once they're sexual and metabolistic hormones are moleculy different from men's, their metabolism is different and act on different organs and vice-versa. Therefore, they live longer. Still, in a worldwide average, more men born than women.

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What did batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Get in the car.

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Yo mama so fat! She should be concerned because diabetes is a serious problem that can lead to a heart attack. Also STOP EATING MCDONALDS.

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A man invented a time machine that didn't work. Because he wasn't a scientist, he was an ice cream man.

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Fine, the facts add up, excuse me if disinfecting what is left of my eyeball hurts like a bitch and reminds me of the fun I had losing about half of it and my eyelid left/right eyelid (I cannot tell left from right, I was born that way, on the bright side I can use both hands for everything). You know, I am sorry for taking such drastic measures, you know I could have spent the entire day with my wife and both my eyes, we where going on a trip around the world and stuff. Instead she is in police custody and I am stuck looking like a fucking pirate and my friend here does not quite get that its not the aching burning pain of living hell that gets to me, but rather the sensation of feeling pain at the core of my fucking eye whose sensation is so fucking overwhelming that I get just a little bit ticked off. Fucking hell am I glad we do not have a kid. I cannot pick up the phone, you see, its not my number, I paid off a couple of friends (do not really know them) To change their names to Nero. Now, if this is true and you have no idea who assaulted me, then you should have no problem knowing that I wont reveal where you live because we live pretty close to one another, you are not the only one that has proxies. If you do not mind you will have to chat with me here for a while, my eye hurts like a bitch and the fucked up sensation gives me just a tiny bit of anxiety, I will answer the phone, when my fucking hands stop trembling, I already dropped the fucking cell twice. Now it is busted and my friend is trying to put the chip into the other one yadayada, given the conditions I will call you,

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who is gay and sits next to me in my architecture class? James and austin!!!!

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why'd the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead. why;d the banana fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the monkey.

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Why did the boy jump off the building? To get to the bottom.

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Why do Jews fast for Yom Kippur? It's part of their tradition.

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I sas Ratzinger a sandwich when someone came up to me and said "sharing is caring" So I gave him a grenade He asked "where's the pin" I said " I pulled it for you" This is not an anti joke

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when god created an asian he said 'Crispy"

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Why does Logan Cole beat off to Yo Gabba Gabba! ? Because Tim Tebow.

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I leave you with a riddle, I am round. I am an orange. What am I?

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Did you know him? Why the anonymous tip?

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What do Jews and gays have in common? They both would have been killed during the Holocaust.

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What happened when the man was about to hug the sexiest person he ever saw in his life? He hit the mirror.

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What did the retarded guy say to the other retaarded guy? A. Your retarded

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What do you call a boy with no arms or legs? Chris

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Q. A couple went on a boat. The boat sank. Every single person died, who survied? A. The couple.

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whats harder than nailing a dead baby to a tree? my dick wile i do it

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What did the house do when it came alive? It went home

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Me: Sometimes I like to talk to myself. Me: So do I.

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I am not racist., I have a black man in my family tree! He is still hanging there

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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