A man found out that he had hit the lottery and would be receiving 300 million dollars, but he had to fly to china to do so. The man took a plane to China from New York and would arrive within the next several hours. Meanwhile, in australia a god-cow was producing infinitely large amounts of concentrated milk. His milk was so infinitely large in mass that it collapsed on its own mass and turned into black hole; absorbing the entire Earth. The man never got to receive his money from winning the lottery

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A kid had wild unprotected sex. He didn't get an STD or enpregnate the girl.

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What did the mushroom say to the carrot? Is this even important given the current state of world affairs?

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123457

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Why did the mans nuts itch he had crabs

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Knock Knock Who's there The Holocaust!

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So two guys walk into a bar and the third one ducks

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What's nice and looks like a rat? Ryan Kavanagh, I lied about the nice part

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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What is brown and sticky?

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why did the man crash a plane into the twin towers? he was a clumsy terrorist going for the sears tower

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Wanna hear a funny joke? Oh, I was just asking.

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Did you know Helen Keller had a dog? Neither did she.

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Roses are red, But ravens are black, Please go to China, and never come back!

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What's bad about four black men in a car going over a cliff? It was my car.

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One below was by me: Walter H

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Why did the black man rob the store? Because he was hard on money for a reason not associated with race or stereotypes whatsoever.

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There was this guy at a bar, just looking at his drink. He stays like that for half of an hour. Then, this big trouble-making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy, and just drinks it all down. The poor man starts crying. The truck driver says, "Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I'll buy you another drink. I just can't stand to see a man cry." "No, it's not that. This day is the worst of my life. First, I fall asleep, and I go late to my office. My boss, outrageous, fires me. When I leave the building, to my car, I found out it was stolen. The police said that they can do nothing. I get a cab to return home, and when I leave it, I remember I left my wallet and credit cards there. The cab driver just drives away." "I go home, and when I get there, I find my wife in bed with the gardener. I leave home, and come to this bar. And just when I was thinking about putting an end to my life, you show up and drink my poison."

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What do you call a kid with no arms and an eyepatch? names.....

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Your mom is so fat, that your gonna get a brother soon.

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ask me if im a boy are you a boy? none of your buisness.

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A man is traveling to the nearest grocery store. He stops at an intersection and notices a another car beside him. It was a black corvet. So he blew it up and the men inside of it as well. He then proceeded to call the cops as to try to cover the explosion up as if it was not his fault. Unfortunately, the police had video evidence of the incident through video surveillance and the man was arrested for life. He never got a second chance in life and eventually died a slow, painful death in the hands of cancer at the age of 91.

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs in the ocean? Bob

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a house red. Babies, especially dead ones cannot paint.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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