A man became infected with Staphylococcal Food Poisoning. The doctor said, "You only have 24 hours to live." He died 24 hours later.

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Q: How many years does it take for a deer to grow into a moose? A: 7

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Women's Rights...

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A middle aged man goes to a psychic. She tells him that he has prostate cancer, and his wife has been cheating on him for the past 3 years.

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Yo mama so stupid She took in part of an experiment and was indeed proclaimed stupid.

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i just got all five seasons of big bang theory in the mail for xmas... i'm divorcing my wife.

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A Christian and a Jew walk into a bar. The bartender says "What'll you two have to drink?" The Christian says "I'll have a beer." and get this, the Jew says................................"I'll have a beer too."

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i feel like i will die some heroic death, but its more likely i will trip over my dog and choke on a spoonful of frosting.

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how many baby's does it take to clean paint your house red. depends on the quality of the crusher.

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A drunk man walks out of a bar, goes home and abuses his wife.

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So a blonde woman gets into her car. She then drives to the grocery store because she is hungry and wants to buy food to make her dinner.

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why did no one like Ashley? because she was a bitch!

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Y didnt the grandma go to christmas? She died on thanksgiving

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Knock... Knock... Who's there? AIDS.

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a boy with asperges asked me a question today he asked me again and again because he has asperges

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Sex vagina. lol.

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What shakes and twitches and can be found at the sea bottom? A scuba diver running out of oxygen.

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Why did the old man have only one foot? Sadley, the other one was shot off in World War II and life hasnt been the same for him since.

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Two men were walking down the road when one of them spotted an old lamp lying in a ditch. After examining the lamp's handiwork for several seconds one man rubbed the lamp with his shirt sleeve. The men then continued down the road.

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a termite walks into a bar and asks, "wheres the bar tender?"

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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What's the difference between a box of dead babies and a Lamborghini? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage

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A plane crashes near an uncharted island with a low supply of fresh water and hardly any animals, except for a few deadly ones. How do the survivors live until rescuers show up? -There were no survivors from the plane crash

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? At age two, she contracted an illness that left her blind, deaf, unable to speak, and was considered backwards of intelligence. She lived in a dark and hopeless world of her own, rendering her unable to do anything, let alone drive.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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