Why was the man sweating? He was stuck in a burning house.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Why'd the squrille fall out of the Tree? Cause it was dead

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Not doing your Webtime on a Friday!!

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Knock, knock. Who's there? Gestapo.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

knock knock whos there micheal jackson too soon

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, most chickens are held on farms, but those that do roam free are afraid of automobiles so therefore they wouldn't go near a road at all. But if the chicken was located in a deserted town there would be no traffic, so then it would be able to cross freely over any road there and not get injured or mortally wounded.

thumb_up thumb_down

"Knock knock" "Who's there?" "GESTAPO! AUFMACHEN!!!"

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Q: Men are always very careful to have penises. Why don't women care enough to have them? A: That's a very good question.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

An alligator walks into a bar. The bar tender calls animal control and calmly escorts everyone out the back door.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Fill in the blank: Hello my name is ___, and today I would like to ask you why you put your real name in the blank? Posted by: BerserkSpoon

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What did the vegitarian order for dinner? Vegatables

thumb_up thumb_down +22

what did the lamp say to the hand? You turn me on

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Q:Whats the difference between Jews and Pizza? A: Jewish people are humans, and pizza is a food

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why was Joe lying on the ground? Because he got shot.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Romeo and Juliet both die at the end of the book. HAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHHAAHA i just screwed you guys over.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

whats black and goes to newy high Manyiel

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Bill: My vagina is itchy. Tom: You don't have a vagina. It was later found out that bill had a sex change and did have an itchy vagina, due to an STI. He later died of cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

There once was a mountain climber. He loved to climb mountains. He had climbed all of the world's tallest peaks...except Mount Everest. So, one day he decides to climb Mount Everest. He takes weeks and weeks to prepare himself. He trains and trains three times a day till he thinks he is ready to climb Mount Everest. Climbing up it takes forever. It feels like it has been days in the dreary cold. Finally, he reaches the peak. It is a glorious occasion. On the way down, a huuuuge storm rolls in. He falls down a cliff and breaks both of his legs. The pain is unbearable. He screams and screams but no one hears him. Finally after what seems like days, a group of monks find him and carry him to their monastery. Chapter Two Once the man wakes up he thanks the monks for saving his life. They give him a room, food, and nice clothes. Every night in his room, he hears a banging behind his dresser. It is really loud and he is quite annoyed by it. The next morning he asked the head monk what the noise is. The head monk says " I cannot tell you, you aren't a monk." He hears the banging noise every night. HE asks the head monk every morning but he always says he cant tell him because he isn't a monk. So the climber decides to become a monk. After years and years of training to become a monk, he finally becomes one. Chapter Three So he says to the head monk, " I am a monk, so now can you tell me?" The head monk replies, " I can't tell you, but i can help show you. So he pushes the drawer back and reveals a little door, He gives the man a lantern and says to go through it. The man goes through the door into a little, dark tunnel, eager to finally find out what the noise was. He crawls for what seems like hours and hours and hours and days and days and days and days. He finally gets to the door where the banging noise is and opens the door. What he sees amazes him. Do you want to know what the banging noise was? I cant tel you, you aren't a monk!

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A boy has a penis, a girl has a vagina.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Roses are yellow Daisies are purple Tv drinks yes Why swing the door

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Q: What did Yoda do at the end of star wars when he lost his light saber? A: He asked the prop guy if he had any more and he happened to have another and they went on with making the great film many still love today.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Q:What do you call a bird with wings? A:A bird -Ryan Vallee

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A family walks into a talent agency. Talen agent says "Okay, what's your act called?" Dad replies "The Aristocrats!"

thumb_up thumb_down +2

how many babies does it take o paint a house depends on how hard you throw them

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops