A man walks into a bar. He's an alcoholic, it's destroy his family and career.

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Why did the teacher give out homework? she is a teacher

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What do you say when you accidently punch a wasps nest? Nothing.The correct choice is ton run as fast as you can to avoid getting stung by the entire nest of wasps.

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A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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John had 50 candy bars and he ate 45 what does he have...... Diabeaties

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Whats less comfortable than a metal bench? The trunk of a car when you're being abducted.

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Wha do you call a couple with aids? 2 pepole who need immediate health treatment.

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You know what's funny? You got AIDs

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A woman wears a dress.

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My mother always said that jumping in piles of leaves was fun. That was before she died of pancreatic cancer.

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ew. I wouldn't sleep with you if you were the last man on earth! ...that's what she said!

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What did the cat say to the dog? Nothing, animals are in capable of formal cumunication.

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How many dead babies can you fit into a bathtub? 17

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Have you heard the joke about the cat? No Are you kitten me

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Whats worse than the dole. The SRC!!!

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How do you attach a nipple tassle to a purple honey badger? Refridgerator

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was clumsy.

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Q: What's worse than being forced to eat your veggies? A: Being forced to kill your parents with a carrot.

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A man walks into a bar He's an alcoholic and it's ruining his family

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What's black, hairy, and full of hate? Hitler's moustache.

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why did the man leave his house during a state of emergency? he didnt

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A man went to the doctor with a strange complaint. "Well it's like this Doc, when I drive to work in the morning through the country lanes I start to sing 'The green green grass of home'. If I see a cat then it's 'What's new, pussy cat?'. It's so embarrassing, even when I'm asleep and dreaming, I still keep singing. Last night, it was 'Delilah', and my wife was not amused!" "Yes, it would apear that you have the early symptoms of Tom Jones syndrome." "Well I've never heard of that, is it common?" asked the man. "Yes," replied the doctor, "It is very uncommon."

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Whats brown and sticky? A peice of poo

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How do you stop a baby from crawling circles? You nail it's other hand to the floor too

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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