A man walks into a bar, gets caught in a knife fight, and dies horribly. The funeral was closed casket.

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my penis

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why did jimmy win the lottery? WAFFLE

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Are you a homophobe? No I'm straight. ,.

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Why did the Black Man only eat one apple a day? He was trying to stay healthy. On an unrelated note he was under the poverty line, and addicted to an illegal substance. He does not represent African-American society very well.

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What did Grandma Sally give Little Timmy for Christmas? Herpes

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Ass

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Why was the turkey killed? Because this particular turkey lived on a farm and a supermarket was paying the farmer a reasonable price to sell it.

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to the one below me. YEAH RIGHT!!!!!!!!!!

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A guy trips a blind man.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it got out of it coop and there was something shinny on the other side of the street.

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Chuck Norris has appeared in several action films.

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What's black and white and read all over? Michael Jackson bleeding, I spelled " red" wrong

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what did the mushroom say to the other mushroom? nothing, mushrooms can't talk

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Doesn't matter, the lightbulb was never out

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Fire extinguishers are sexy.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To be eaten.

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why do the jewish guy and italian girl talk? i dont know why any decent minded italian would talk to a jew so i don't know.

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A penguin is driving through Arizona when his car's oil pressure light comes on. He drops his car off with a mechanic who says he'll get to it soon, and to come back in an hour. The penguin leaves the garage and, seeing a Baskin-Robbins across the street, stops in and orders a dish of ice cream. As he eats the ice cream he reflects on the series of extraordinary events that led him to this place, this time, this situation.

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What do you get when you cross a joke and a rhetorical question?

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can't you hear that TOOT Ta TOOT TOOT, TOOT Ta TOOT TOOT flute (nicki minaj in a past life listening to a symphony)

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Two penguins were taking a bath. One said "pass the soap." The second penguin replied, "What do you think I am, a typewriter?"

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Knock knock. Who's there? John. John who? John, your son. Now open the door.

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why did the turtle beat the rabbit ? because the rabbit eventually got shot

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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