A panda walks into a bar. He eats but then is tranquilized and taken back to the zoo.

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A dyslexic woman goes into a saloon and asks for a hair cut. Oh right, she doesn't have hair! Then why the f*** would she enter the saloon? Because she wanted to get her nails done. But she doesn't have nails either, and she doesn't want to drink. She came there because she wanted to hook up with a guy!

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What is the difference between me and you? I am not readin this joke.

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Why did Sally get hit with a fridge? Because someone threw a fridge at Sally Why would someone throw a fridge at her? Because Sally has no arms

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Whats the difference between a Jew and a boy scout? Boy scouts come back from camp.

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What's worse than a male chauvinist pig? A woman that won't do what she's told.

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Q : Who is the most famous celebrity, Lady Gaga or Justin Bieber? A : Neither, because they are just fads.

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What did the pedophile say to the delightfully curly-headed youth? Can I have fries with that?

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Once upon a time, there was boy. I saw this boy. So I sat on him.

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Q: What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs, living in the mountains? A: Cliff Q: What do you call a girl with no arms and no legs, living on the beach? A: Sandy Q: What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs hanging on a wall? A: A victim of a serious crime, where murder was committed and the killer has a sick and twisted mind because he first cut off the man's arms and legs then nailed him to the wall with wooden pegs. Puppies.

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What is worse than getting a cold ? Finding a dead baby in your mailbox

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Whats funny? Nick Sotelo

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if life throws you lemons you must be dyslexic

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(Knock Knock) Who's there? You were late paying your mortgage and now your house is being repossessed by the bank.

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What's worse than 9/11? a dipped glass of milk

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You just won the game...

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whats the difference between 100 dead babies and a ferrari? the ferrari is not in my garage.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs? A cripple.

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knock knock whose there? my penis.

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What happened to the man who had the most loving parents and family when he was born, had an amazing childhood which he shared with so many good friends, was loved everywhere, helped the poor, started a fundraiser for starving kids in africa, got a college education, helped a complete stranger get off his drug addiction, married a beautiful woman, bought a nice house and had 3 children who he loved dearly and spent time with as much as he possibly could, tucked them in every night and enjoyed every second of his life as if it was his last? He died.

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I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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when debbie meets downer

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What does KFC stand for? Kids Fattening Center

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What do trees and people have in common? If you hit them enough times with an axe they will fall over.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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