A man walks into a bar. He's blind.

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What dosent kill you only makes you injured

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Why did the man remain calm when the judge passed the death sentence? Because he was in another country and had no connection with the case.

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Whats worse than a dead baby? Two dead babys.

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You see this dick stop being a spick now suck on my wee wee u prick

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Why was the man walking down the street late at night? Because he's homeless and has nowhere to stay.

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How do you send Harry Potter a post card? Get an owl to send it to his house.

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Roses are red, Violets are violet

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Why did the man start vacuuming his neighbor's floor? He had to get the GSR

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Why did the hipster burn his tongue? He was in a terrible car crash in which the fuel tank exploded.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was stressed & having alot of financial, mental and physical problems so he crossed the road in hope to kill himself. And he did he got ran over by a car, may his soul rest in peace.

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What do you call a banana in a blender? A banana in a blender. Duh

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Why did the guy throw a clock out his window? Because he was mentally unstable and needs help.

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whats black, white, and red all over? your mum

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? - "Where's my tractor?"

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jeffrey: Do you know what happened on the 5th of november? gerald: No jeffrey: I cant remember

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When Chuck Norris realized that there was a more superior being than himself. What did he say? Suck it Safka

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How many kids with ADHD does it take to change a lightbulb? I dont know lets go play on our bikes.

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The original joke: "WATCH OUT FOR THAT HOLE!" "WHAT HOLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" The anti joke, aka realistic edition: "WATCH OUT FOR THAT HOLE!" "WHAT YAAAAAAAAAAAARGHHHHHHHHH!" The ballon edition: Original: "Balloon! Watch out for that Cactus!" "What Cactussssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss..." (leaking air you slowmo) The anti-joke aka realistic version: "Balloon watch out for that pointy soda!" "What soda *pop*" Moral: None of these where the least realistic!

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what does trondifly mean? trondify is not a real word.

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Why did the man think he was hungry? Answer: Because his brain told that he needed to Eat or he was going to be really hungry. Made by eli

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WNBA

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Two small boys are walking in a schoolyard. One of the boys sits down under a tree looking distraught. The other asks him "Well whats the matter Eddy?" "Every time I walk to my bus-stop in the morning, Jimmy Krugan, pushes me down and takes my money. " The first boy thinks for sec.. "Well here's what you do Ed; go to your Dad's shed and grab a 2X4, paint it bright blue. In the morning, walk to school with it under your jacket and when Jimmy starts in on you give him a good wallop. He wont be bothering you anymore." The following day the boys are in the yard again. Eddy is seen under the tree seeming just as distraught. Confused, the boy asks him.. "Well Ed, did you do what I told you?" "No."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? because it wanted ti get to to other side. why did the medic cross the road? beacause there was a seriously injured chiken on the side of the road, it had been hit by a fat man on a jog

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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