Why did the goblin have no friends? because no one likes a goblin, including other goblins.

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What's sad about a dead person? He was my friend.

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why'd the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead. why;d the banana fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the monkey.

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How do you make time fly? You throw a clock off a building

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roses are black violets are too im colorblind how about you

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Q.Why did the chicken cross the road? A.To get to your house. Knock Knock. Who's there? The chicken!!!!!

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How do you stop a dog from humping your leg? Suck its dick.

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A women's opinion.

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What's red and has zippers? Nothing, because watermelons can't physically drive without the help of a sheeps spinal cords ... DUH

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A woman walks into the kitchen to see her husband cooking dinner because gender stereotypes have been dead for years.

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what is brown and shaped like a tree?

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Q. What did the barber say to the Italian kid? A. Do you want your hair cut or should I just change the oil.?

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One watermelon said the the other watermelon, "you are looking mighty plump today", the other watermelon didn't say anything because watermelons cant talk

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What are the biggest ants in the world? Ants under a magnifying glass.

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how to turn invisable. eat yourself

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Q: What is long and hard? A: The gun used to kill my parents.

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A guy walks into a bar. The second guy ducks.

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What did the old man say to kid who was begging to his mommy? Shut up.

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Why did the man take off all his clothes? He was going to take a shower.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being shot repeatedly in the chest.

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kiss me?

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What is a cow's favorite place to go? The slaughterhouse.

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what do you call cheese that isn't yours? cheese.

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Why did the beach ball pop? Because it stepped on a sharp chocolate chip cookie!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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