What do you call it when a blonde jumps off the Empire State Building without a parachute? Suicide.

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How did Goku save his home planet? He didn't.

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Knock, Knock Who is there? Yo Yo who? *the man ran away and was never seen again, because he had nowhere to stay*

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What do you call a black man in space? an astronaut

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Your momma so stupid that it's really inspiring she managed to overcome her limitations and raise such a wonderful family.

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What did Tarzan say when he say an elephant coming over a hill? Hey look, there's an elephant coming over a hill!

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What's worse than getting struck by lightning? Getting struck while your in your house!!

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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Why didn't the Irishman walk into the bar? Beacause he had killed himself the previous night as a result of his alcoholism.

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why does the room smell bad? because there's a dead body under the bed

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Knock knock. Who's there? Sorry, wrong number.

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why is walmart so big? Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping and affordable low prices. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

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why didn't your dog come home last cause he died

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roses are red, violets are blue with a face like yours, you belong in a zoo but don't worry, cos I'll be there too not in the cage but laughing at you!

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What's the best way to pick up girls? Lift with your legs, not your back.

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How many people does it take to screw in a light bulb? To get to the other side

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Q. What time is your appointment with the Chinese dentist? A. 20 past 4

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Why didn't the man answer the Anti Joke? He had a severe mental disorder and was therefore incapable of speech.

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What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? I'm sleeping with your wife

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How do you stop a baby flying 100mph? a shovel

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2 black kids walk into school

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Dead baby jokes aren't funny, dead babies are though.

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What do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex with a woman? Statutory Rape.

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Which came first, The chicken or the egg? Well, Firstly, I suppose that depends on if we are discussing Creation or Evolution. If we are talking about Evolution, The Chicken must Logically have evolved from an egg laying creature, one which was similar to, but not quite a chicken, so, the first chicken hatched from the egg of said creature. However, if we are discussing Creation, there is no way to discern which the deity in question decided to create first, so, even odds. Therefore, Logically, there is a 75% chance the Egg came first. However, if we are discussing Chicken Eggs Specifically, the reverse is true, because the egg the first Chicken hatched from would not have been a chicken egg, it would have been the egg of another creature, a "proto-chicken" if you will. and so, in the evolution scenario, the Chicken came first. Still, in this situation, there are even odds as to which a creator may or may not have created first. Therefore, Logically, in this Scenario, there is a 75% chance that the Chicken came first

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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