what do you get when a bear and a man mix a really pissed off bear and a dead man

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Blonde: Where's the ice? Asian: In the freezer.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What's tall, has a really long neck, and eats leaves? My tall vegan neighbor's giraffe

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Did you know? that if you were to stretch out all your organs to see how far theyd stretch? youd die.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

How do you save stop your soulmate from dying of cancer? Shoot them on the head.

thumb_up thumb_down

Whats the worst part about being fat. Your fat.

thumb_up thumb_down -185

What did the door say to the hand? Please stop caressing me!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How do you make time fly? Well! You cannot really make time fly. Imean, yeah, iguess it feels like time flies when your having fun, but it moves just as fast as always!

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the one pound coin cross the road? It was stuck up the chickens ass

thumb_up thumb_down +9

what is black and looks like a mushroom? a black mushroom

thumb_up thumb_down -6

How did Little Jimmie leave school? In a body bag.

thumb_up thumb_down +73

whats the best selling shampoo for children and family? gerrmany's shampoo german engineering. i'm not sure I get anti jokes wait you don't need engineering for soap? HITLER DID -audience- thats mean who else was mean? uhh Mao? Stalin? STDS? -audience- no HITERWAS MEAN wat happen to him he became the leader and fuher of germany and was onn world domination? no he died abullet and a pill died killed him oh god 11 million people died because of him and we make jokes about it -its ANITjokes okay? t make this S$75 any better doesn't revive the fallen -okay......... LOL I bet that soap was actually eaten before by actidneet -jesus shutup okay ok.. sorry man .. wait man? single person? but waht abut "audience" I guess I want a crowd as big as hitlers but all I get is my twisted autism - billy turner died from autism and arrested for practicing naziism in public.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Knock knock. Who's there? FedEx. FedEx who? Just kidding, it's hookers.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the man go to Lourdes Because he has lost all hope

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why did the seal get confused when a spider tried to high five him? Because spiders have eight legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Your momma is so ugly... Yeah, yeah, yeah my momma's ugly, but guess what, at least I'm not an orphan asshole.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How many policemen does it take to change a lightbulb? None, they just beat up the room for being black

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's the deal with airplane food? I've never tried it. I'm just curious how it was.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Elephants can jump higher than the tallest building. You know why? It's because buildings can't jump.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Knock knock Whos there Who Who who Don't stutter it was just a joke

thumb_up thumb_down +7

I am in love with pizza. It was a friday night and i was hanging around with my so called friends 'banana-rama' 'pearman' and 'peaches' (keep in mind these are all fruit). I ordered a pizza from Poker Pizza and it came an hour later i brung it to my kitchen and i opened the box. It was lovely. I eat it, i soon realized that I had eat my one true love and decided to order another pizza.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

- Knock, knock. - Who's there? - Immigration.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

How do you fit 10,000,000 jews inside a car? It's not physically possible as no car can carry that many people.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

What did the Black man say to the prostitute? Your job makes the risks of getting AIDs and other STDs much higher than the average person's.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops