A mermaid walks into a bar, but she has no legs, so she flops over and proceeds to drag herself into the bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

All these jokes are very entertaining, but if you look closely, Lebron clearly travels. Wheres the call ref what the hell.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Q.what do you call 7x7 A.A math equation

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What did the left nut say to the right nut? Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? SPONGEBO... nope bin laden

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What would the funeral home do without a dead person? Wait until the next appiontment

thumb_up thumb_down +3

hey hey apple

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's faster than a black man with a TV? olympic sprinters, cyclists, street legal cars, speed boats, helicopters, commercial airliners, bullets, fighters jets, missiles, SR-71, space shuttles, rocket ships, anything in orbit, excited electrons, and quite a lot more, actually.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

An old lady says, "Oh i see now." The guy standing next to her says, " Honey oyu know im blind right?"

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did the tree say to himself? Gee-oma-tree( get it geometry say it outloud)

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a registered sex offender.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Trouble with the trolley, eh? No

thumb_up thumb_down +9

How do you make Barack Obama upset? Stab him.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Roses are red Violets are blue Last night I came home to find my entire family murdered....

thumb_up thumb_down -30

You see that dog over there with no tail? You know what that means, don't you? What? Someone cut it off.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why was the man afraid of the fish? He had ichthyophobia.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do you call a man with no arms or legs skiing? Skip.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did the piece of gum cross the road? It was stuck to the chicken's foot.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What happened when the man fell off the boat? He went into the water and was viciously mauled by 5 alligators then ran over by another boat.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Suzie Thum thump Who's there Bethany Hamilton

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Two guys walk into a bar; A Mexican and a Canadian. The Mexican guy says "Bartender, give me a 2 shots of Tequila, por favor". The Canadian guy says "Bartender, give me a shot of Club and a Molson, eh". They continue to drink until neither can feel the crippling pain of their mundane lives - then they each leave the bar, walk home and sleep alone.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

i want to watch t.v, how do u turn it on? idk, do u know how? idk either, i cant see or hear then y do u want to watch t.v wuts a tv?

thumb_up thumb_down -12

your momma is so stupid shes fricken retarded

thumb_up thumb_down

Knock Knock ...Does anybody know how to use a goddamn door bell these days?

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops