How do you confuse a blonde? Tell her to jump over your car, then drive by in a truck

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why doesn't the little boy talk to his mom? Because she smells like barbecue sauce.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Its very nice.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What is big and white and will kill you if it falls from a tree? I don't know. I cant think f anything big and white that fall from trees that can kill you and besides if it is big enough to kill you then you will likely see it and avoid the section of that tree lest the big white object should fall and kill you because of this it is likely that anything that is big and white and falls from trees will in result kill you.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What do Tom Cruise and Santa Claus have in common? They're both Tom Cruise.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I suck at poetry Show me your tits

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Asians are a lot like spongebob They're terrible at driving and good at karate.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

three peanuts where walking down a dark alley, one was asalted

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Q. What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A. I'm not sure, because there are many farmers on this earth, and finding the same one that you are talking about, may be hard. It may take a while, but i'll get back to you as soon as possible, with an anwser.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

I'll be back. Please use the door.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What does a plum and a rabbit have in common? A: they're both purple, except for the rabbit!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was a retarded failure

thumb_up thumb_down -49

Why is this funny? cause it is funny

thumb_up thumb_down -25

A man walks into a bar, little did he know it was a gay bar and a few of the regulars were drinking and got overly aggressive the unaware man was then forced into the bathroom and raped by the aggressive gay lovers

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive a train? Because she was blind, deaf, and most likely uneducated in the field of train conduction.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How do Germans treat the Jewish? Kindly, and with much hospitality.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

The First National Tree Bank just closed down. Don't worry it started a brand new branch.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do you call a deer with no eyes? Blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Hi Shelby!!

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Knock Knock Whos there? I dunno I didnt answer the door

thumb_up thumb_down -28

When life gives you lemons, go sell them for crack.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A ginger, a brunette and a blonde all go to the store. They are checking out and the ginger says to the blonde, "Why did you get that cereal instead of the one on sale?" And the blonde says "Because I have a membership card that gave me a discount on this cereal." The ginger gets out of line to return her cereal because she remembers she too has a membership card. And then the brunette pulls out a gun and shoots them all because she has depression and needs psychiatric help.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

yo mammas so fat when she gets cut gravy pours out

thumb_up thumb_down +6

if your in a wheelchair have no hair because of cancer and are being fed through a tube you should wait a couple of years before ending it. and wrinkles into the equation....... BANG

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops