Dislike this!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +49

What do you call a cannibal who won't eat his own brother? A pussy.

thumb_up thumb_down -43

So theres a man, a horse, and a piglet in a helicopter. Upon noticing this, the pilot jumps out of the plane and the animals go crashing to their doom.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a lightbulb? usually one new yorker.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A man finds a lamp in the desert. He picks it up and dusts it off. The lamp becomes cleaner.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

I love Ciara!

thumb_up thumb_down +56

Two oranges walking down the street, one says to the other, "Where do you live?". The other replies "I'm not telling you, you'll steel my washing"

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Halo < COD

thumb_up thumb_down +54

Gregory: Hey, aren't you that pretty girl I saw from the party? Jenny: Huh? Gregory: No wait, it can't be you. Because you are WAY prettier. Jenny: Aw, that's so sweet, lemme give you my phone number. Gregory: Okay I'm ready to copy Jenny: It's 1-800-get-a-life-loser Gregory: Biitch

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's long, hard, and in my pants? The SAT's... I lied about it being in my pants.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

you know whats funny?! nine eleven!

thumb_up thumb_down -20

WE BE-ETH YON KNIGHTS OF THE ROUND TABLE

thumb_up thumb_down +1

whats purple and not a rapist barney, I lied about the rapist part

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Three hispanic men pull up to a suburban residence. They pick up their friend and go see a movie.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Billy is walking down the street when he spots 1 armed johnny hanging in a tree.Billy proceeds to wave causing Johnny to wave with his 1 arm. Johnny falls out of the tree and dies

thumb_up thumb_down +4

what do you call a black man drinking cool-aid? thirsty.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

I walked in on my daughter masturbating. The whole ordeal was very uncomfortable, but I sat her down at the dining table to discreetly explain the necessity of locking doors.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

How do you kill a zombie? You don't. Zombies aren't real.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What did Helen Keller say when she got raped? Stop raping me.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

why are the inside of a black mans hand white? cotton residue

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Fool me once, shame on you Fool me twice, shame on me Fool me 3 times, oh now you're just being a jerk

thumb_up thumb_down -4

God

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A man walked in the kitchen with a gun. He made a sandwich.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What do you call a person with one eye and no arms? Names.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops