Why did the girl fall off the swing? she had no arms. Why doesnt she have arms? they got bit off by a shark. Knock knock. Who's there? Not the girl.

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How many fat people does it take to screw in a light bulb? Three. One to hold the ladder, another to screw it in. The third one stands to the side, just in case it breaks.

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What's the best use for a van full of candy? Donating it to an orphanage.

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Why don't Polish women use vibrators? They are extremely conservative Catholics.

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A. What is the difference between a pizza and a Jew: B. Pizza's don't scream when you put them into a oven.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he is concerned about his fitness and decided to walk to work instead of drive.

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How much coke can Charlie Sheen do? Enough to kill two and a half men.

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What's green, fuzzy, and can kill you if it fell from a tree? A pool table.

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What did the first Ethiopian say to the other? He asked for some food only to realize that the other one had already starved to death.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have narcolepsy.

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A 14 year old walks into a bar. The bartender yells "Hey, no minors allowed!" The 14 year old yells back "Excuse me? Do you see a fvcking pickaxe?"

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A frog walks up to Steve, and says "Hey, Steve." Steve is terrified because a frog knows his name, and is walking.

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Why couldn't the blond get into the library? Because the library was closed therefore the door was locked.

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One time a man cut off Chuck Norris while driving, and Chuck Norris kindly excused the man's lack of consideration for his fellow drivers.

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I have read and agree to the Terms of Service.

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Whats the differance between peanut butter and jam? You can't peanut butter your dick into a chicks ass.

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Why did the girl fall off the swings? Because she had no arms.

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Why wasn't the woman happy when she gave birth? Because she was thrown into a pool of semen 9 months ago.

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What did Greg say to John? Nothing. Greg died in a horrible plane crash

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Somebody call animal control, there's a horse in the bar." The horse is then taken away and made into glue and dog food.

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how do you crash a party? You dont because that would be rude.

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whats better than sex with a 12 year old?? nothing

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How many Facebook friends does George Bush have? None because he doesn't have a Facebook.

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a guy who can fly walks up a hill and jumps off a cliff. his flying power fails him and he dies on impact

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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