why did the dead baby cross the road? it was stapled to the chicken

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roses are red violets are blue i have to poop

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Why couldn't the drunken man walk in a straight line? Because someone shot him in the face.

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Why did the bus drop a boy holding ice cream? Its driver was not paying full attention on the road and was sentenced 15 years for manslaughter.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Back when seven was in Vietnam, he sufferd Posttraumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and constantly has flash backs and irrational thoughts of six being with the veitnamese alliance and tries to viciously molest six whenever he runs out of anxiety medication.

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What's 17 times worse than a 3? I don't know, personally I don't think 3's are so bad.

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Is this the Krusty Krab? No, this is Patrick

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How do you take money from a Mexican? You don't because they have none.

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I enjoy anal.

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Yo momma is so poor when she went to the bank the teller was like " you have no money."

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A guy walks into a bar, sits down, and gives a heavy sigh. The bartender asks, "What's wrong?" The guy says, "Nothing."

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Why is the chicken dead? It tried to cross the road.

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Why don't you throw rocks at a black person riding a bike..... It could be yours

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what does a blue watermelon and a cactus that looks like a penis have in common? orange ya glad i didn't say banana!

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a man i knew who was a real jerk was about to drive home drunk. i was trying to stop him, but then he punched me in the face. i let him through. he died that night. i texted him all the way

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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whats fun about the governement's jokes? nothing, they are actually serious

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Why did the man stop having seizure? Because his condition was recognized and he was properly medicated.

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How do you get an Asian man to build you a computer? Pay him a reasonable amount of money

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what do you get when you cross a puma and a turkey? A horrible abomination of life that begs to be killed.

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Q How do you make the fire fighter sad? A Kill his dog

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What do the words lightbulb and lightweight have in common? The word light is in both words. Other than that absolutely nothing.

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You're momma's so fat..Oh wait she's not.

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How do you make a baby cry? You leave it unattended

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops