Yo mama's so fat, she has low self-esteem.

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What do u get when you cross Napoleon and a stick of dynamite? A very bloody mess.

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HOLY COW!

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How do I become successful like you dad? Just do good.

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Whats worse than the holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

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Why did the man soil himself at his daughters wedding? Because he has an enlarged prostate and has trouble sitting down for long periods of time.

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What did the Pillow say to the Blanket? Nothing. Inanimate objects do not contain the ability to speak, therefore they could not possibly say anything to each other.

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A car walked into a bar... wait no it didn't it has wheels.

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What did the college student say after he failed his test? He didn't say anything, he was a mute.

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I ate high protein foods and now my flatulence smells wrank.

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Did you hear about the kidnapping in Milwaukee? They woke him up.

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Why was a woman not considered in the role for a stunt driver? Because her skill level was not sufficient enough for the requirements.

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I used to think skyrim jokes were funny. Then I took an arrow to the knee.

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Why are old people such terrible drivers? As we age, our eyesight slowly deteriorates and our reflexes become slower. So, in order to be cautious, the elderly avoid high speed chases and such to maintain their and others safety. Or they could have alzheimers and not realize they are in a moving vehicle at all, it's really a tossup

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Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everywhere

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did you hear about the platypus that was found dead in the middle of death valley?

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haha

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A girl talks to here boyfriend about collage. What is his responce? Nothing. No one talks about college.

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Four guys are on an airplane. The plane lands safely and the four guys return to their families.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it lacks the cognitive reasoning ability necessary to determine that walking into oncoming traffic will surely result in death

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what's brown and sticky A stick!

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Why did the chicken kill himself To get to the other side.

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Why couldn't Jesus get a driver's license? Because automobiles did not exist 2000 years ago.

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Why did the cat die? To get to the other side

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops