I've ben told to open all your windows when a tornado comes. Who told you THAT? A guy who opened all his windows when a tornado came.

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Why did the girl stop smoking? Because her mum asked her to.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? Nothing his parents died in a tragic car accident the night before

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Why do you put a baby in the blender but first? To see the facial expressions

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You ever notice when geese fly in a V there is one line that is always longer than the other? Do you know why that is? Because there are more geese in that line.

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what do you call a girl with a pumpkin spice coffee in her hands? Jenifer

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what's the difference between northerners and southerners? southerners live to the south of birmingham, and they don,t stink of urine.

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how do you know if a chinese man has been in you house? your homework is done

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text this number 2066191208 saying i wanna rape you

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Nippies

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why did the the chicken cross the road? because some sad,board people wanted to make a joke

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A gay jew walked into a bar. Just kidding, for there was only a red blanket.

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Q: Why did the plane crash? A: Someone threw a hippo at the pilot.

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Hey I just met you, and this is crazy, I have Alzheimers, Hey i just met you.

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No really, try this: You: Say "knock, knock" Your friend: OK, knock knock You: Who's there? Your friend: ...... [this awkward pause makes evident the fact that it has now dawned on your friend that he has to generate content for a joke that he wasn't telling in the first place]

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was the World Chicken Road Crossing Competition.

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Your mother is so fat that when she goes to the movies, she usually orders popcorn and maybe a drink.

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What's worst then a parking ticket? The plague

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Day turn night. Dreaming is now true . Turn on your flashlight, slenderman is behind you.

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God lets 3 people from hell come into heaven every year on chisrtmas based on how bad their last day on earth was. Its chistmas and god is standing a the gate of heaven and the first person comes up and god says, "Tell me what happend to you on your last day on earth" and the man says, " i thought my wife was cheating on me so i went to my apartment to check on her and i saw a man on the deck so pushed him off but i didnt know it was my brother. he caught onto the railing so i smashed his fingers with a sledge hammer and he fell 200 ft. Sadly he landed on a bush and survived and so i took the refridguator and through it on him but right after i did i had a heart atack" Then god lets him in to heaven. Then he has the next person come up and god asks him the same question. the man replies, " i was at my brotheres house when some crazy guy pushes me off the my brothers deck but luckily my fingers get caught onthe railing, Then the crazy guy takes a hammer and hits my fingers and i fall but land on a bush. Then the man throughs a refridguator and i get killed." God chuckles and lets him into heaven. The next person comes up and says," picture this, naked in a refridguator." excpaination: the man in tthe refriduator was cheating with the 1st mans wife.

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A man is pulled over for drunk driving, and is asked to say the alphabet backwards. When requested to do so, the man says, "officer, I can't even do that when I'm sober," thus admitting that he is drunk. The police officer chuckles at the drunk man's stupidity, and wonders whether or not his wife would find the incident funny. After all, they do share a similar sense of humor.

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what did the farmer say when he lost his red tractor?

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A young baby died.

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Whats the difference between me and a ghost? What? Ghost are not dolphins

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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