Roses are red Bacon is too Rhyming is hard bacon

thumb_up thumb_down +45

What did the the boy get from his grandma for Christmas. Nothing. she died a week ago.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

You play the piano? What more can you do? Sounds complicated but try me.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I am colourblind so screw you!

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What do you call a Man who likes little childeren A Nittany Lion.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did my penis cross the road? To get to the other vagina.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Your maternal figure contains so many Triglycerides, her belt size is greater than or equal to the circumference of the Earth.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A man walks into a doctors office. The doctor says "I've got good news and bad news. Which do you want first?" The man responds "Let's hear the good news." The doctor says "I ran a series of tests and found you have leukemia, but your insurance paid for everything." Shocked, the man asks "What's the bad news?" The doctor answers "Your company is switching to a private insurer and because of your pre-existing condition you've been denied coverage. None of your future treatments will be covered."

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Once a man asked a lady working at the supermarket, Can I see your avocados? She kindly walked him over to the rack where they were being held.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Whats worse than a dead whore? 9/11

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why did the clown go to the doctor? Because he had a malignant tumor on his liver.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Whats worse than pulling down a girls pants and seeing a giant furry bush... finding out her vagina has teeth in it.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

As Vanilla Ice once said, "If there's a problem ill resolve it."

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Roses are red, violets are black, you better watch your anus, cause jimmy is back!!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A woman walks into a bar. She is pregnant and gives her baby fetal alcohol syndrome.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Knock knock. Use the doorbell, dumbass.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

When Chuck Norris runs, he doesn't even move a muscle.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede. It's funny because the robot has no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do you call a blond harvesting penuts a penut farmer.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

How do you make a business man cry? Hit him in the face with a brick

thumb_up thumb_down -8

what does an Ethiopian man say to greet a Chinese man well, first they must locate a translator fluent in both said languages, but they would most likely say hello

thumb_up thumb_down +48

why did the monkey fall out the tree? he lost his grip

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Two eggs are in a frying pan. One egg says to the other, "Gee, it's getting hot in here!" The other one says, "Shit, a talking egg!!"

thumb_up thumb_down +4

knock knock whos there? yo mama yo mama who? yo mamas mama!!

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops