A man walks into a bar. He leaves when he realizes he is supposed to be at a business meeting

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a girl had just gotten dumped by her boyfriend over a text message. she got very sad and became suicidal

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Whats better than having 5 dollars? Having 5 dollars and a pizza

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I was reading this book one time..... and my imagination took me away to many lands and times.

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What has three legs, 6 notches, 8 wheels, is beige, has cancer, and is severely burnt? I don't know.

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Why was the homeless man homeless? He lost his house in a terrible house fire, stretching throughout his apartment building, losing his much beloved wife and kids in the horrific accident.

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You read the Terms of Service.

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Yo mama so stupid, she should be worried about Alzheimer's disease.

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A man went to his doctor and said, "Doctor, every time I hit my hand with a hammer, it hurts!" Then both him and his doctor died; so it didn't matter.

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Q. how did the blond get a college degree in medicine? A. she studied hard and aced her final exam.

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How many nipples are on a raccoon ? I don't raccoono

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What do you call a man in a wall? Stuck.

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What's worse than being gay? Dying in a gas chamber in the Holocaust.

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What stinks of shit and has money. Smelly Mc Dee I lied about the money.

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What's black, white, and red all over? An African American and Caucasian man painting a house with red paint and accidentally spilling some on themselves

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What do you do when life gives you lemons? Kindly reject the offer and give it back to life.

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What happened to the frog that broke down? It got toad.

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This is on of those few moments where my guts and attitude leave me feeling as if the entire world is against me... ...Then I cant help but to smirk and think... The world against me? Finally a worthy challenge... Such a great day... Nero because fuck morals: Friends and not so friends do not call me Black Metal because I listen to power rock, my mother high on drugs attacked my wife claiming she was Satan, I killed my angel dust empowered mother, felt as if the world was against me... ...Such a great day... "I killed my father too but you dont hear me whining about it!" And of course... ...Rest in pieces oh "dear" mother", at least you did one good thing, you gave birth to your undertaker, while I killed you to end my lifelong misery, My only regret is ending yours... Now I request you all think I am a monster and pretend we live in a world where all parents are nice and good... You already deluded yourself? Perhaps you should thumb me up instead then.

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A Jew with a boner runs into a wall, what hits first? His nose

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All of the people in the burning building escaped except for one what was wrong with that one person? He was a blind, could not hear and was in a wheelchair.

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I love bacon therefor I love people who eat bacon execpt people who eat my bacon then I hate people who eat bacon

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Whats the difference between a Ferrari and a dead baby? I don't a Ferrari in my garage

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Roses are red Violets go poo My name is Dave How bout u

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What did the nurse say to the doctor? Boo-hoo, i was pranked over the phone, i'm gonna kill myself now.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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