What do you call a woman that is on her period? -A girl that is expirencing a difficult to control flow of blood through the clitorus.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Asians...

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What did the farmer say to the other farmer? "Uh... So, you're a farmer?"

thumb_up thumb_down -22

When's the best time to kill a black man? Never. Committing murder is a felony and constitutes as highly immoral.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

what time does the japanese guy go to the dentist? well his appointment was for 11:30, so he might show up approximately 5 minutes prior to the appointment time, just to make sure everything goes steadily as planned

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A man with a white bed sheet on his body and head grimaced at a black man. He said to the black man, can you help me with my ghost costume? Something in the back is poking me and it hurts.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

"It's A Bird!!!" "It's A Plane!!!" "No, It's not either of those things."

thumb_up thumb_down -8

John: hey wats up? Bob: gas prices!

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why do women wear makeup and perfume? Because they're ugly and they smell bad.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Get in the Batmobile.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti-Joke.com Post anonymously with no editing!

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why did the boy's house get destroyed? It was bombed.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why are tests such a pain in the ass? Because your vomiting shit you'd learned the night before.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Did you know Helen Keller had a swingset in her backyard Neither did she.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

An Italian, a Mexican, and an American all stand in one room. The Italian throws pasta out the window and says "We have too much of this in our country." The Mexican throws a taco out the window and says "We have too much of this in our country." The American throws a burger out the window and says "We have too much of this in our country."

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Omar the Magnificent is performing a huge magic show at a theater in New York City. His final trick will be to have his assistant saw him in half in front of the sold out crowd. Omar never knew how other magicians perform the trick. The crowd of hundreds watches Omar's assistant brutally murder him onstage and many require mental therapy for years to come.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What did Helen Keller do when she found a dead body? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why is the Asian 2nd grader sad? Her best friend was diagnosed with breast cancer. She has 3 weeks to live.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

A blind man walks into a bar After realising he might be hurt everybody rushes to his aid

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Rebecca Black sings a song.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Did you hear about the guy with seven fingers? You should, because almost everybody has seven fingers.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What did the woman say to the dog? Stop shitting on my carpet your dickhole

thumb_up thumb_down -30

What do you call a black scuba diver... A scuba diver.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops