Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was infamous for stealing people's laundry, and 6 was insecure about his bare body

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a older brother and a lil brother have bunk beds, one night the older brother has his gf sneak over, they are going to have sex. he tells his gf, "say lettace for a new positon and say tomato for stop", they start and she screams, "lettace, tomato, lettace, tomato". then the lil brother says " will you guys stop making salad, ur getting mayonase all over my face!!!!"

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Phew... it's gone.

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Stephen Hawking walks into a bar. Apparently he can walk now.

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What do cats eat for breakfast? Cat food.

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Why did Little Billy fall off the swing? He got hit by a washing machine.

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How do you kill a blonde? You shoot her.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's, Ham and Cheese!

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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Why was the ginger walking around in bare feet? He had no sole.

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Why did the fat guy get a gun? Because he was tired of all the fat jokes...

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What do you call a horse and a donkey mixed together? A mule.

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Why did FiddleBob Joe chuck a stick of butter out the window? Because he wanted to see a butter fly

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin? Muffins can't speak therefor it said nothing.

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What;s worse than finding a worm in your apple? The holocaust.

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What did the hat say to the scarf? Nothing.

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I had a really funny joke about a dead baby...but I threw it out

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Knock Knock, Who's There? Legolas They're taking the Hobbits to Isengard!

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Whats similar about an elephant and a plum? Theyre both gray, except for the plum

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Two muffins are in an oven. And by muffins I mean jews. They both die a horrible death.

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What do you call a chicken with its head cut off? A dead chicken. Most likely ready to be cooked/eaten

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How do you stop an alcoholic from drinking ? You leave him in the desert for 4 days, eventually he'll die from dehydration .

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I have a friend named Jay . But for short , he likes to be called J .

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roses are blue violets are green I am colorblind

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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