what do you call 4 black people pushing a car uphill? unfortunate

Two guys walk into a bat, they have a couple drinks then go home, one crashed and died in a horrible drunk driving accident. The other, who took a cab, went home and viciously beat his wife.

why did Sarah fall off the swing? because she had no arms. Knock knock! who's there? not Sarah.

Your mother is so fat that she is considered morbidly obese. In fact, she should seriously consider a weight loss diet to reduce her risk of heart disease and diabetes.

An Asian girl is playing with a rubber band. She accidentally slings it into her eye, cries, and receives immediate attention from her mother.

how do you confuse a blonde do nothing

A man walks into a bar. It leads to a fight that is enjoyable to watch.

What do you call a spaceman on Mars? Confused, because with the current technology it is impossible to send a human into space and onto Mars.

A Jewish man answered his phone one day. The man on the line said he'd kill him and all his family. The Jewish man then hung up the phone and resumed his everyday life.

What did man who had diarrhea say to the other man? "I have to go to the toilet."

What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot, you racist.

What's worse than a worm in your apple? Two worms in your apple.

Why did the young boy hit the other young boy? Because the other young boy was bullying his friend and he thought it was time he should stand up for himself and take control of the situation.

Why did the boy let the falling brick hit him in the head? He had no legs, so he could not move

This guys grandma comes to live with him. While shes there she has a stroke. He rushes her to the hospital and waits for her to come out of surgery. The doctor comes out and says "i got good news and bad news" The guy says " give me the bad news" the doctor says "your grandma has had a massive stroke and wont be able to go to the bathroom by herself or eat by herself, so you'll have to feed her baby food and change her Diaper for the rest of her life." So then the guy goes " well shit whats the good news" The doctor goes "Ahh im just kidding she died"

How do you cause ultimate pain to a imprisoned Jew during the holocaust? Moral: You give him an apple WITH a worm in it.

Knock knock. I know who is there... What? No, I lied...

A man sees another man standing at the edge of a tall bridge looking down. Man: Don't jump! No one wants you to die. You have your whole life to live and I'm sure you will find happiness somewhere. I was once in the same position as you, questioning if god really wanted me on this earth at all. But I decided to make something of myself and now I am a very successful business man. You can do the same if you just put your mind to it and put your troubles behind you. Other man: I was just admiring the view.

Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because it is humanly impossible to draw a perfect circle.

You know what they say about guys with big feet. They have big feet.

Why was a black man in a prison cell? He was a highly respected plumber fixing a prisoner's faulty toilet.

Q: What's the difference between a Boyscout and a Jew? A: Boyscouts come home from camp.

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A fat man walks into a gym, and comes out fatter

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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