Why did the chicken cross the road? She had no purpose.

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roses are red so are the jews every one loved that holocaust news

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9/11.

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what was the biggest game of hide and seek? World War II and the Jews won

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240

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WNBA

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What do you call a girl with no legs? Disabled.

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Why did the man break into the bank? Because he was a bank robber

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whats worse than a friend asking you if their ugly, telling them to look in the mirror.

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Q: When you have alot of hair, what are you? A: Obease

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What's the difference between a plane and a Muslim dentist? A plane hasn't dedicated its life to the study of dentistry

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if a tree falls in A Forest, would Robert Smith hear?

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If you have a stroke, call 000

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The last head of Satan, is oh but what you blamed upon Your faults, Your sins. The thoughts of Madness written here, yet potent enough to cloud Your thoughts.... Wait not forever children of man, as eternity is at its peak, the false prophet IS AMONGST US! But what side is he on? The last ditch attempt to protect humanity from a raging jealous vengeful God? Say it is not so! Say that darkness is not the only thing standing against you and eternal damnation... ...Yet you killed his only true child, you stole his name, his essence... Even his Identity... ...Even the Angels white are powerless to stop him, Your maker, Your true maker, for what is the grief of the holy, from which you took his only son... ...As you celebrate once and once anew... :...Merry CHRISTmas, to all of those of you all now left behind... Celebrate it well, as before the world reaches 2017, is where it all ends...

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The Ambulance. Ambulance who? Sir, we're going to need you to come down to the hospital, your son is dead.

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What is worse than going to school without your homework? Going to school naked without your homework.

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A man walks into a bar. Ouch

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A Dog walks into a bar to order a drink. The bar patrons are at first amused and overjoyed to share their night with a playful pet, until they see that his mouth is foaming and he's already started trying to eat the nearest child. Screams erupt as the bartender calls 911. The dog manages to injure two patrons before he is tazed by the police and taken to be put down. One of the men injured has to have his arm amputated, which is unfortunate for his new career as a heart surgeon. The hospital informs him that they have no choice but to force him to resign, after they hand him his lengthy medical bill. He ends up losing his apartment, and his fiance leaves him for someone more stable financially. The man then drinks himself to death, after attacking and killing a local dog with his one remaining hand. The dog belonged to a new family on the block, whose son had terminal cancer. Due to the cancer, the boy had trouble making friends in a new area, and the dog (Sonny) was his one source of companionship and, by extension, hope. The boy is later admitted to the hospital for breathing problems, and after a 4-hour surgery, is pronounced dead. His attending physician was quoted as saying "He was so close to beating back the infection, but all of a sudden it seemed like he just... gave up." I mean, how was a dog supposed to order a drink in the first place, am I right?

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Q: Why did the blonde get fired from the M&M Factory? A: It's hard to say. HR can not discuss the details of her termination, and the blonde signed a non-discloure agreement. She has since relocated to Biloxi with her family and is doing quit well.

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What did Joel say to the mouse. We're both dead mouses.

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I got 99 problems, and most of them involve my terminal illness.

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What's 9+10? 19.

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Why did the skeleton cross the road? It didn't. Anyone who would believe that is a complete moron.

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How many Stephen Hawkings does it take to screw in a lightbulb? He can't.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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