Knock knock. Who's there? The police. We are here to inform you that your daughter has died in a drunk driving accident.

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one day i went to bed

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Yes, it's actually very nice.

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my mom just came up and saw me masturbateing

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was trying to escape the evil villains in giant mech suits.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm homosexual And so is my boyfriend Jeremy, with whom I have shared countless evenings of joy and laughter.

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In the movie Dark Skies, little white boys were haunted by a mysterious force. The answer is obvious, isn't it? They are being haunted by Michael Jackson's ghost.

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What peels, is a fruit, yellow and tastes like a bannana? A bannana.

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Ask me what my name is. What's your name. My name is Jeff.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Kelly Oh hi Kelly! Long time no see! I know! I've been my working fingers to the bone ever since I got that promotion and I barely have any free time! That must be tough. It is but it pays bills! Being a mother of three isn't a task for the faint of heart. Now Kelly,I was wondering how you thought of the remodeled kitchen....

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Knock knock! Who's there? A bottle of beer. No thanks, I've been sober for 15 years.

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A horse walks into a bar. He was blind.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? -250.

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Oh look, I've found my knife

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What is your view on school violence? I'm all for it.

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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Do you like fishsticks? Yes I personally think they are high in saturated fats, but to each his own Oh I thought you were asking if I was homosexual

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-Whats not funny and has wheels? >What? -The Holocaust... I was lying about the wheels

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Q: What do you call a fish with no eyes? A: Fsh

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What did the woman do when her husband told her to make him a sandwich? She made him a sandwich promptly.

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24

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ASUS Live Update has stopped working.

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Q. why did the blonde stare at the orange juice carton? A. it said concentrate.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it wanted to.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops