- I was at my house last night - I was at your MOM'S house last night... I'm her neighbor, she was having trouble with her plumbing and I thought i should help out

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why couldn't the boy sing? The boy could sing, but the thick layer of duct tape prevented him from doing so.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue I Have ADD ...

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A Cheerio is at Cheerio high school, and there is another Cheerio that he wants to ask to the prom, but she is a frosted Cheerio and because of Cheerio social statuses she would not go with him. So he goes to the Cheerio factory so he can become a frosted Cheerio. The factory workers tell him that he can be a frosted Cheerio, but the machines are malfunctioning today and they can only frost half of him. He agrees, and the girl Cheerio goes to the prom with him. He shows up at the prom with her, and she asks him to get her some punch. So, he's walking around, looking for the punch line, when he realizes: There isn't any.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

why did the 11 year old boy stick his hand in a lawnmower nobody knows he hasnt come out of the coma yet

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Ronald McDonald was chasing him.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Two cows are standing on the top of North Pole and in a half-inch wind they're spanking a bottle of coconut jam. Suddenly two infrared gallopping fly past them. What's the consequence? That people shouldn't use freshly peeled lemoncakes on underwater cornfields.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

How do you save a black person from drowning? Take your foot off his head.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why is there a corpse in this TV box? Bob was never a great skydiver.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A girl is talking with her boyfriend - God, you're selfish!!! - No, i sell meat.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did Hitler get his son for Christmas? An Ez-bake oven and a GI Jew

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Before her maiden voyage, they told the Titanic she could become anything. So she became a submarine.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Hi Adam,

thumb_up thumb_down -43

What's worse than finding a worm in you apple? The holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Chuck Norris' punch is so powerful that is falls on the downward slope of the bell curve for punch force of adult males.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why Did the man Commit suicide? His body used cellular respiration to make ATP (A form of energy) and his body used it to send electrical signals to his index finger to pull the trigger on his .357 Magnum, thus putting a bullet through the soft tissue in his brain causing his body to shut down Imediately!

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Dollar ice tea... I drink that Supa hot fire... i spit that Two and a half men................... I watch that

thumb_up thumb_down -7

How do you like them apples I dont like aplles

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What happens when you throw a yellow rock into a purple river? it makes a splash

thumb_up thumb_down -10

knock knock. who's there? interrupting black lady. wha....... ehmmm hmmmm!

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why was the little boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

why did tom drop his ice cream he didn't because he had no icecream

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Fill in the blank: A ______ is a man's best friend. Jake: Is it dog? Host: YES! Now for the 1 million dollars! Finish the sentence: I just saved a lot of money by Jake: Switching to Geico? Host: Sorry, that's incorrect. The correct answer is "I just saved a lot of money by not spending it on useless junk and by budgeting my account towards investing in the future." Oh well, nice try.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why did suzie fall off the swing? Because She had no arms. Why did suzie fall off again? Becauze Jimmy was trying to snipe her in the head the first time

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops