What's your favorite Sylvia Plath quote? "Turn on the oven."

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One time Chuck Norris cried. He felt slightly better after the experience, but, unfortunately, his grandmother still died of cancer.

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Why did Princess Diana cross the road? She wasn't wearing a seat belt.

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Knock Knock! EXPLOSION!!!!

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What's got four legs but can't move by itself? A chair.

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What has ears, but can't hear, eyes, but can't see, a mouth, but can't talk, and legs, but can't walk? A deaf and blind paraplegic with an improperly functioning larynx.

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What do you get when you jab a four year old with a pair of scissors? A warrant for your arrest.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Mets.

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What do you call a kid with no arms annd legs? Names

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Phil sees a hitchhiker wandering past his car on the sidewalk. He asks Phil if he can take him to his house, and Phil says no, and keeps driving. Six seconds later the hitchhiker is crossing the street in search of somebody else, when he is hit by a bus and dies.

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why do black people like to play basketball steal shoot and run

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i get knocked down, but i don't get up again. my leg is broken and therefore makes it extremely difficult for me to stand up on my own.

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How did the three girls get free drinks? Two of them were attractive and out of obligation to "the game" the third girl was also purchased a beverage.

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Two monkeys are lying in a tree. Big monkey and little monkey, little monkey bites the big monkey's tale, big monkey starts jumping around the place shouting. Little monkey just starts laughing and takes another sip of whiskey.

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Whats louder than a dinosaur? 2 Dinosaurs

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An Asian, white, and a black man decide to play Russian Roulette. The Asian goes first and shoots himself in the head. The white man picks up the gun for his turn. The black man runs down the street screaming. Cops see him and the white man holding the gun, both are sent to jail for life for the murder of their friend.

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2 guys walk into a bar, a third guy carefully ducks under it

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Justin Beiber walks into a bar. The bartender does not serve him because he is not the legal drinking age yet.

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Why did the boy wear glasses? Because he had bad eyesight.

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Wanna here a funny joke Oh right. You can't hear

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue Violets are not blue They are Violet

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Two muffins in an oven. One muffin turns to the other and says nothing, because muffins cannot talk.

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What do you find at a black guys yard sale? A bunch of reasonably priced items since he comes from a low income household.

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How do you make a gorilla stop chasing you? You shoot him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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