I tried to call my friend in Haiti. It went straight to vibrate.....

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What do you call a million pigs jumping out of an aircraft? Bacon.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Various reasons, one of which was to visit his wife in hospital where she was suffering from a sever case of depression. The other reason was to say his last words to her as she also has lung cancer.

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What did Delaware? A coat.

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I like boys!!!!! CC

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Some dude and his son are driving to school. They get into a car accident so the have to go the the hospital. But when the doctor comes in, the doctor says "I can't oporate on this boy! He's my son!" Who's the doctor? His Mom.

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A man is driving down the highway. He falls asleep at the wheel due to his case of narcolepsy, and dies in a fiery car crash.

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How do you put a giraffe in a refrigerator? You open the door, put the giraffe in and close the door. How do you put an elephant in a refrigerator?. . . . . . No! You open the door, TAKE THE GIRAFFE OUT, and put the elephant in. So, the lion calls a meating in the animal kingdom and who's not there? The elephant, he's in the refrigerator. You have to cross a river infested with crocodiles, and you don't have a boat. How do you get across?. . . . . . No! You get in the river and swim across because the crocodiles are at the meating with the lion!

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What did the bird say to the squirrel? Chirp

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Why were accents created? So when people go to Texas they come back sounding like a D-Bag.

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Why do females have boobs? So they can breast feed their babies.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? The chicken decided go get cigarettes and then hang out at a bar. The chicken sitts next to horse, the horse says "Why the sad face?" The chicken justs sitts there, thinking about the insanity that he has caused. "I don't know, is my joke not getting old?" Replied the chicken.

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What did the Mexican get for christmas? Nothing, he was caught sneaking over the border in November.

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How many cops does it take to change a lightbulb? 1

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What is samios' favorite position? ;) Full back... In the bum.

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What do call a black politician? Not Barack Obama, unless it's Barack Obama

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A man runs over a woman...... Who's fault is it? The man's. He shouldn't be driving in the kitchen.

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What did the black police officer say to the white police officer? We just got a call in. Four dead children were found in an alley behind a mall.

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You bumder!

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A man walked into a bar and was then taken away in an ambulance dude to a severe concussion.

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Girl: What is your phone number? Guy: 1-800-Choke-Dat-Ho

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A man spots Bill Murray at a restaurant in Los Angeles. He proceeds to tell his friends the story, who in turn believe him, as the story is plausible.

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Roses are red. Violates' are blue. Hitler is my homy.

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Why did the boat salesman cry? Because a puppet killed his family.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops