Mary had a little lamb And a side of fries.

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What do you get when you cross a tho with a mas THOMAS!!!!!

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What do you call a women with two black eyes? Someone trapped in the cycle of violence that is domestic abuse. The few friends and family members she still speaks with tell she should leave. They don't know about the last time she threatened to leave him, when he held a gun to her throat and screamed "You try an leave me I'll kill you and your precious god damn babies!" Now she suffers silently for fear of what he might do to her family, but is increasingly worried about the way her husband has begun looking at their 13 year old daughter. Every night she kneels at the foot of her bed and prays for death, over the sounds of her own sobbing and her husbands drunken rage. Also she is a slow learner.

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Whats smells like a banana and is purple? A banana, I lied about the purple thing.

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ring ring young man: dad? mom's dead? woman: i think you dialed the wrong number young man: .......oh im sorry, you're absolutely right, silly me! woman: don't worry about it. young man: (chuckles) click

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Three Jew begin to walk down the street, they then pursue walking and purchase many goodies from vendors.

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Your momma is so dumb that her IQ is 3 standard deviations below that of an average person.

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why did the feminist cross the road? to suck a dick

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Lollies are sweet warheads are sour, open your legs and feel my power

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Why didn't the business man ever wear pants? He didn't have any legs.

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What do we want? Equal rights for people with Tourette's Syndrome. When do we want them? Fuck!

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What did little Timmy get his grandmother for Christmas? A coffin

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Whats better than giving birth to a disabled son? A Blowjob

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So you're floating down a river on a two story canoe. How many pancakes does it take to cover a dog house? Four because snakes have no legs.

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A man with a mustache enters your parents home to tell them you were kidnapped and taken to the pier 1 hour away. They leave and he goes upstairs to rape you for 1 hour. Never trust people with mustaches.

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what did one soldier say to the other... dude take your finger out my a** it has been that long

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The boy asks his dad if he can make him a sandwitch The dad reply's " no thats your moms job"

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How many band geeks does it take to catch a football? One, especially if he/she is on the football team.

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What did the average man say the the bird? HOODINI

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Whats White and sticky? Semen

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Donald Duck walks into a drug store and asks the lady behind the counter for a bag of condoms. So the lady says, "Sure thing sir, would you like me to put that on your bill"? Donald says," THIT(Shit)NO, I'LL THUFFOCATE! (Suffocate)

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Say, "I have a really nice knock knock joke, but you have to start." To someone. They say knock knock You say who's there! and walk away.

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What is worse than failing a class? Dress up for grown-ups.

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Why did the woman make a sandwich? Because she was hungry.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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