How do you kill off a zombie apocalypse? Laser vision

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How did the fat guy survive the plane crash? Because he still in the food court at the airport.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house! Nock. Nock. Whos there? The Chicken?

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whats worse than 4 dead monkeys? 5 dead monkeys.

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What do you call a flying jew? Smoke.

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Whats hotter than the sun? Larger stars.

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there are 2 sausages in a pan. one sausage says "wow it's hot in here" and the other sausage says "MY GOD A TALKING SAUSAGE!!!!"

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lol im s0 gut at spelign at engrish N u laughd n liekd diZ funi joek XDD u most LUV LE MEMEZ n EMOtikons Lol (^-^) y u guyz so st00p1d at math Wtf???!?!? 1+1=8 i m soooo smurt hahaha I <3 warrior cats n dance 2 gangnum stail wile masturbatin 2 swagbois le raeg comicz ;3!! . And now you are dying of cancer.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Get in the car.

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Q. What does FIAT stand for? A. Frenzied Italian At Traffic-lights.

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hello there i am a male from the small town of balamory and i have just found a very large oblong with an acute right angle strongly attached to the left hand side........do you think i should hand it to the new york extra torestial services ?

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Q: How much does it cost to have 50cent and Nickleback perform together? A: 45 cents, because its 50 cents, and you get a nickle back

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What is the best kind of necro? Dead necro.

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A fat guy walks into a bar and the bartender says, "the regular?" The fat man replies, "actually this time I wanna try something different."

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How do you start a riot in Mexico? Roll a penny down the street.

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A black man, a Mexican man, and a cop are walking in downtown New York. So are tens of thousands of other people, because it is a very large and diverse city.

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What is the pirate's favorite letter? Z.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I suck at poems, Show me your tits.

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Good afternoon.

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What's the best use for a van full of candy? Donating it to an orphanage.

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What gets louder as it gets smaller? A baby in a trash compactor

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So a train conductor is going at 70 mph to to a destination 50 miles away. He goes over 3 hills, one at 20 mph, the other 42 mph, and the last at 63 mph. He crosses 2 bridges at 47 mph each. What did the train conductors mom eat for dinner that night Nothing she had cancer and died.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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Why did Timmy's face hurt? Because there was a frog stapled to it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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