knock! knock! who's there? the police, your family died in a car crash!

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Yo momma is so ugly that shes been taking self acceptance classes for her very low self esteem which is only one of many side affects shes had from years of bad relationships and being told she was and infact still is horrifically ugly its a truly sad thing and being the child of her you should be ashamed that you have not worked to help raise her self esteem

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How did the Mexican get into the United States? He applied for a Visa and was granted authorization to live and work in the United States on a permanent basis.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What do yo call four Jewish guys sitting around doing nothing? The Sabbath Day

thumb_up thumb_down +2

i like punching orphans in the face, you wanna know why? what are they gonna do? tell their parents???

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Yo mama so fat when she goes to the gym, she makes her trainer skinnier.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

what looks about a computer which has two wheels? a bike. i lied about the computer...

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why are black people afraid of white people? They aren't

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Wanna hear an oxymoron? Jews for Jesus.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did the orphan kids get for Christmas? Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A pregnant woman walks into a bar and miscarries.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Did you know Helen Keller had a cat? Neither did she

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What did the fish say after it's head was cut off? Nothing, it was a fish.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

You know that Duck song on youtube? I dont get it... ducks cant talk...

thumb_up thumb_down -34

How do you stop a baby from crawling in circles? Pick it up and put it in a crib, like a responsible parent.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the women knock on the door? she needed to do a shit

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Three men are on a plane. (Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees a woman hysterically laughing. Intrigued, he inquires her jolly. She manages to state through her hysteria, "When me fart, me whole house blow up!"

thumb_up thumb_down -86

There are 2 kinds of people in this world... 1.Those who need closure.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why do dinosaurs have no friends? Because they are dead

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A horse dies and goes to heaven. He wonders why there aren't any atheists around.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

why was the girl unhappy? because she was stapled to a shark.

thumb_up thumb_down -56

What's worst then finding a worm in your apple Eating it.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What's the main reason for divorce? Marriage.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Friends are like trees. If you hit them with an axe enough times, they'll fall over.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops