What's the difference between a fat person and a whale? The quality of the fat. -Japan

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do you call a cat with no ears? Anything you fucking well like. Cats can't understand speech.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Who would win in a chess duel between Ender Wiggin and Artemis Fowl? Artemis Fowl will calculate the optimal path to move his pieces. Ender Wiggin will calculate the optimal path to kill the queen, so all the other pieces just sort of fall down.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What is brown and has 15 legs? (They answer "What?") Reply: I don't know I was hoping you would.

thumb_up thumb_down

roses are red violets are blue corey mills is and got raped by you

thumb_up thumb_down +23

what do grown up's do at night when everyone lese is asleep? Go to sleep as well

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What do you call a black man with cancer? Someone with cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Wanna hear something half funny 34.5

thumb_up thumb_down -35

So I was making this bagel right?And my dad walks in while I'm making this bagel(cause we're in a rush you know?) and he's yells"HURRY UP!!!!"I'm like man.... I sure do got alot of YELL in my bagel .

thumb_up thumb_down -158

2 sausages were in a frying pan. 1 sausage says it sure is hot in here, the other sausage says WTF a talking sausage!

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Q: why was the cat naked? A: its owner was drunk and thought he was shaving his own head.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What's red and weighs a metric ton? An apple, my scale wasn't calibrated

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A: why do elephants paint their toenails red? B: why? A: so they can hide in cherry trees B: I don't get it A: have you ever seen an elephant in a cherry tree? B: no... A: exactly

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Baby Seal walks into a club.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Your momma's so fat, diet and exercise would probably save her life!

thumb_up thumb_down +17

the only people that will miss whitney huston are her drug dealer and possibly bobby brown

thumb_up thumb_down -41

"Knock knock?" "Who's there?" "Two dead kittens."

thumb_up thumb_down +12

How do you attach a nipple tassle to a purple honey badger? Refridgerator

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What did the boy say to his dad when he realized he was gay? Dad, I'm gay.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?? Where's my tractor?

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What goes in long and hard and comes out wet and sticky? A penis after orgasmic intercourse.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

You know you're a redneck when you come from a rural area and behave as such.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put my cock in your mouth. Submitted by Arsha K.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why is The stop sign bent? Because a ambulance full of sick kids hit it.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops