An elephant and a llama walk into a bar. Realizing that they must have broken out of the local zoo, all of the people run out of the bar screaming.

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How do you find a date? Look on the calendar!

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What did the Arab do when he got frustrated? Burned himself

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I SWEAR TO GOD I'M NOT GAY! But my boyfriend is. Love you, Jeff.

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Where does the king keep his armies? In a variety of military barracks and bases situated around his kingdom where they are ready to be deployed for combat or peacekeeping operations.

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Q: why can't women drive? A: because there is no road between the kitchen and the bedroom

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whats big green and fuzzy and would kill you if it fell out of a tree? a pool table

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What's green, has six legs and lives in the jungle? A Snooker Table.

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Whats worse than eating a worm? Haveing a worm die in your penis.

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How many black people does it take to screw in a light bulb? I don't know, that's why I was asking.

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Why does your mom not love you.... Because she is not your real mom.

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How many women does it take to ski across the pit of lava? None, they would burn and die.

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What did the bullied schoolboy do when he got home from school? He cried himself to sleep.

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What do you get a kid with no arms for Christmas? Hungry, Hungry Hippos.

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There was a guy and a girl naked in bed, sleeping together. When they woke up they didn't remember the last 72 hours and wanted some questions answered, including Where am I? Who are you? What year is it? What's my name?

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What's the worst way to die? Alone.

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What is big, grey, has 8 wheels, can fly, swim and walk. I dunno. Thats why I'm asking

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A kid goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor! it hurts when I do this!" The Doctor says, "Well, because you have been diagnosed with ALD, and to make matters worse you are allergic to rapeseed oil" The child then cries because he will never live past 40 years old

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What does the young boy say to the gay man Hello Jacob, because he was raised to respect and treat gays equally

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Woman:I give my Heart to You! Man:Thank You!!! The Woman then dies because one can't live without a heart

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Your dad isn't gay...but his boyfriend..HES REALLY GAY!

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whats funnier than a joke? A: a funnier joke

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Why is 6 scared of 7? Because last year, when 6 was going to the gas station, 7 approached him and said "gimme all your money or else I'll shoot you". 6 was so scared he ran away crying. About a few days later 6 spots 7 again and this time he was with 9. He said "yo 6! If you don't give me your money, im gonna do this to you!" and then 7 started biting and chewing 9 as if he was some kind of cannibal. 6 ran away and called the police. He told him that 7 ate 9.

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Q: Why did the clown fall off the swing? A: He got hit by an axe.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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