Two cows in a field. One said, "Moo!" the other said, "Shit! i was going to say that."

thumb_up thumb_down -15

what do you call cheese that isn't yours? Chuck Norris' Cheese

thumb_up thumb_down +20

This is on of those few moments where my guts and attitude leave me feeling as if the entire world is against me... ...Then I cant help but to smirk and think... The world against me? Finally a worthy challenge... Such a great day... Nero because fuck morals: Friends and not so friends do not call me Black Metal because I listen to power rock, my mother high on drugs attacked my wife claiming she was Satan, I killed my angel dust empowered mother, felt as if the world was against me... ...Such a great day... "I killed my father too but you dont hear me whining about it!" And of course... ...Rest in pieces oh "dear" mother", at least you did one good thing, you gave birth to your undertaker, while I killed you to end my lifelong misery, My only regret is ending yours... Now I request you all think I am a monster and pretend we live in a world where all parents are nice and good... You already deluded yourself? Perhaps you should thumb me up instead then.

thumb_up thumb_down

On a scale of 1 to 10, how high are you? Very.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why couldn't the melons get married? As gay cantaloupes, their jurisdiction didn't allow for same-sex marriage.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What's worse than finding a fly in your coffee? The holocaust. What's worse than that? Two flies in your coffee.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the chicken cross the road. Because, It can't fly

thumb_up thumb_down +6

whats the difference between justin beiber and a gay guy? both guys and girls like gay guys

thumb_up thumb_down -5

why was the cow laying down? because little johnny shot him with a 50 calliber

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Q) what's black and white and red all over? A) a slaughtered zebra.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Knock knock Who's there? A robber Oh

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why didn't Lucas want to go down the slide? He was scared.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A man walks into a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What did the mexican firefighter name his kids? Jose and Pablo

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Your Mommy is a gas pump.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why couldn't the old man see the Moon? Because he was blind and it was daytime.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Knock knock Who's there? Dave, I've got a fucking gun. Let me the fuck in.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What has two legs, but can't walk? Half a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Where did Lil' Suzie go after the explosion? Everywhere.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

whats brown and sticky a stick

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Womens rights

thumb_up thumb_down +30

someone says they've been "dying laughing"... no they haven't; they're quite capable of still breathing and functioning in every day life.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What did bob order at pizza hut? Pizza

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why can't Michael Jackson swim? Because he is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops