Dislike if you are a prostitute

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A blonde, a brunette and a red-head find a mirror with a message on it that says "Stand in front of the mirror and say something you think is true. If it is true, I'll grant you a wish. If it is wrong, you'll be sucked inside the mirror and be trapped there forever." The blonde, who is standing in front of the mirror, says "I think this is a stupid joke." and nothing happened.

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Can God do anything even if it's impossible? Yes. Can God make a rock so heavy he can't lift it? Yes. Can he lift that rock? Yes. Then he just failed at making a rock so heavy he can't lift it

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School

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how do you make a baby float? you take your foot off its head

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Ever heard of carpel tunnel? Well after that girl it was more like carpal toungal

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Yo mama so fat, her whole family is encouraging her to exercise and go on a diet.

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A blonde, a brunette and a redhead dive off a yacht. Unfortunately the yacht is in a shop and all 3 of them sustain injuries following impact with the concrete floor.

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Why did the fisherman go to Alaska? The commercial fishing business is strong there and it was a sound financial decision.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, Flappy Bird is no where near as annoying as you!

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Why did German shower heads have eleven holes? Because jews only have ten fingers.

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What is covered in red and has two legs? Half a cat.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I threatened to throw a fridge at it

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How do you get a black man out of a tree? Polite say "Hey you, get out of that tree."

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why did the guy drop his umbrella........ because he was getting raped.

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what starts with an f and ends with a uck? firetruck!!

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What do you call a white man in the NBA? A really good basketball player

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Stephen Hawking walks into a bar. Thats impossible because he cannot walk.

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What's awkward? Your phone going off at a funeral What's more awkward than that? Your ringtone is Highway to Hell

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Roses are brown, Violets are brown, who shat in my garden

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Guess what? Chicken butt? Poultry gluteus maximus!

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Q: How do you stop a rhino from charging? A: The construction of a steel-reinforced concrete wall will work in most instances, but for more resistant cases, the use of a high-impact titanium anti-rhino charging barrier is required.

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Roses are red, violets are blue! Damn, the florist messed up the colors again!

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A black man walks into a white man on the street. The white man viciously beats the black man.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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