An man walks to a bra

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What is the best thing since sliced bread? Sliced butter.

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Why didn't the teen girl get to her appointment? A) She woke up late.

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a chinese man pays the full price

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, your parents are dead they never loved you! I found this one on facebook and i just found this site and all yall got some good jokes LOL

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if it takes skill to trip over a flat surface, i have no skill...

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Q: Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? A: Because she is a woman.

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What did Sherlock Holmes say when he saw a very pretty lady? Hello

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Your mother is so fat that she has a very big butt and large breasts, which is quite attractive to some men, especially if they are open-minded.

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Gangnam style

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How is it possible for a man to get raped? Easy. He lied.

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Not much of an anti joke but here we go... - What do you get when you cross a jew and a potato? - A Baked potato!

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What did the clam say to the scuba diver? FUCK MAN! STOP TOUCHING MY JEWELS! WOULD YOU WANT ME TO JUST RIP YOURS AND TAKE THEM WITH ME!

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Wanna hear a joke? Me to.

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My friend on xbox told me about this cool clan. I went to join but I didn't like to wear the white robes

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse replies, "my wife has cancer."

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Why shouldn't women wear watches? Because there's a clock on their cell phones.

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Kidding, not trucing, Dylan sucks prick. Brock likes his mums butt.

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Your mother is so fat that she is considered morbidly obese. In fact, she should seriously consider a weight loss diet to reduce her risk of heart disease and diabetes.

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Why is the sky blue? I don't know I thought you knew

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What's the best part of twenty one year old's? Their bodies have matured enough that the U.S. government deems it safe for them to consume alcoholic beverages with proper I.D.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The question just posed is unanswerable, as in order to state the reasoning for the chicken crossing the road, one would have to assume the a chicken has a concept of 'road'. As the chicken is an avant, we can safely say that it has no need of pavements/ sidewalks or roads. As a result, it cannot possibly have an incentive for doing so. Consider the following hypothetical analogy: you are walking in a forest, and you unknowingly cross another animals scent trail. You cannot possibly say WHY you walked across the scent trail, as you didn't know it was there. You can state your reasoning for walking in the first place, but not for crossing that specific scent trail. In conclusion, this question is unanswerable, due to the chicken's lack of knowledge about roads.

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Your mom is so fat, it is unlikely that she will be able to survive the month without experimental liposuction and heart surgery, and even then her outlook is bleak. I am so sorry.

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-knock knock -i'm not at home, go away!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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