How much booze did the homeless man drink? All of it. He is severely depressed.

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Face...the other white meat!

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What do babies suck on? juice boxes!

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, Obama is a good president, I beg to differ.

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What worse than seeing a worm in your apple? Half a worm in your apple.

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how do you call someone? use a phone

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What do you call a man with no heart? Dead.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poke her face.

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What's yellow and can't swim? A bulldozer

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Me: do u you want to here a joke You: ya Me: Woman's rights

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A Chinese man and an american lived together. The Chinese man said to the american man, "I'm going to walk the dog." The American said "OK." Later that night they were eating dinner. The American said to the Chinese man, "I don't think that I've had this meat before. What is it?" The Chinese man replied, "The dog." The American, surprised, spewed out the food he was eating. "THE DOG!?" he yelled, shocked. The Chinese man replied, "Yes, I TOLD you I was going to wok the dog!"

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Math problem: You have 50 candy bars and decide to eat 45. What do you have now? Diabetes.

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HURT

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What do you call a Black guy picking cottnon? A cottonpicker

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Knock Knock Who's there? A Kid With ADD A Kid With AD- Oh Look! A Squirrel!

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How did Matt stop the robbers? He called the police.

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Whats worse than bad sex. Being nice raped in the anus by a teletubby.

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What did the German girl say to me? entschuldigen Sie (excuse me)

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oh whatever donald trump's not going to be president. stop pretending he is

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What is shit? It's Deshitified already.

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Q: What do you call an American who has both Irish and Italian ancestry? A: An American.

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What would kill a Muslim if they were to ingest it? Arsenic

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What's the difference between a bird and a horse? - Both can fly, exept the horse.

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Why did the mother have a club in her hands covered with red liquid? She spilled her bloody murry while playing golf.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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