A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I will ask you one question, and that will determine whether you can enter Heaven. Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" "No," the man replies, "I always made sure to apologize." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

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Roses are red violets are blue I'm not good at poems, nice titttttss.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender does not ask about its facial characteristics, because he is wondering why there is a horse standing in his bar.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the poll booth to vote on a law restricting the questioning of chickens destination and furthermore to let chickens cross with out ridicule.

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Why didn't Michael J. Fox feel the Virginia earthquake? He was on vacation in Maui.

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Why did the man stop chewing gum? I threw a grenade at him.

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What do you do when your speeding and a cop is right behind you? make a complete stop and hope for the best

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-What do you call it when a female and male are together? - A very serious relationship.

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a burglar walks in a house the alarm goes off and the police come

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heres a funny joke your momas so fat............

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Whats better than winning gold at the special olympics? Not being retarded.

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Why are you reading anti-jokes? ... why are you looking at me like that? I asked you a question, idiot.

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How do you survive in the wilderness? You nail an orphan to a rock underwater.

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Who owns the streets of Comton The mayor

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If 2 trains are going 60 mph, their going in opposite directions towards each other, they are slowing down 1 mile per hour per 10 miles and they are 100 miles away, would you rather have Coke or Pepsi?

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A grasshopper hops into a bar. The bartender looks down at him and says "Hey, we have a drink named after you." the grasshopper looks up at the bartender...then proceeds to hop along because Grasshoppers can't communicate with humans. Then several of the bars patrons looked at the bartender, worried for his mental health.

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What do you call a gay couple with jobs and a kid?? Responsible.

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So you into art? You been to Louvre by the way?

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Kesley Ioannou not shopping.

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What do you call a boy with no arms? Names.

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? Well i would imagine one of various names for a domesticated animal and she would choose the name based on her likes towards nature or an element of nature, being the educated individual she i would think she may name it base on a person of importance, such as an author or maybe a writer that inspires her.

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Yo mama is so fat that you are constantly ridiculed by the local kids and constantly hope that the obesity isn't hereditary.

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Hhahahahahhahhahahahahhaahhayournanisdeadhahhahahahahahahah

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How was a blonde woman able to get into Harvard? She was smart and had a very good SAT score.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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