How many jews can you fit in a car? However many seats there are

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Your mom was so stupid that she went back to school and now she is graduated with a degree.

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A duck walks in wal-mart and buys stuff. The cashier ask how hes going to pay and the duck said just put it on my bill.

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What smells bad and is black, A very dirty dead decomposing body.

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im gay because im gay

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What's black and white and red all over? I don't know I asked you

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whats uglyand cry , and screams mommy ... you after i bitch slap you

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Roses are Red Violets are dog I'm Senile Flower tastes like frog.

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What's faster than a Mexican running away with your T.V.? An Airplane

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What did the black kid get for Christmas? A bike that his father paid for with the salary he made as an accountant at a local bank.

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Why did the people thumbs-up the anti-joke? Because I threatened them with A GUN

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Ever tried Ethiopian food? Neither have they.

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o | ,'~'. / \ | ____|_ | '___,,_' .----------------. | ||(o |o)| ( KILL ALL HUMANS! ) | ------- ,----------------' | _____| -' \ '####, ------- /________\ ( ) |) '_ ' ,------|\ _ /_ / | |_\ || /_ /| | o| _\ _|| /_ / | | |\ _\____//' | ( ( | | | (_,_,_,____/ \ _\ | ------| \ _\|_________| \ _\ \__\\__\ |__| |__||__| ||/__/ |__||__| |__||__| |__||__| /__)/__) /__//__/ /__//__/ /__//__/. .' '. '. (_kOs____)____)

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All work and no play makes Johnny successful in his field of interest.

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A man walked into a bar....he's OK.

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin... Nothing they are muffins.

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A father of 4 commits suicide. his kids celebrate shortly after.

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Why was the black man in prison? He was wrongly accused of a felony and the jury by whom he was tried was largely racist.

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What do you call Metta World Peace after he has hit somebody? Metta World War.

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What is brown and sticky? A stick.

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what do you call a blonde who can't drive? a poor driver

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A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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ilglsdfbvklwbkvbsjklgvsdgbvilsdbklvbwdjkbvwdfseghrfvuowebg

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What do you call a man with no heart? Dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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