How many fingers am I holding up? None, my fingers were blown off by a hand grenade.

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If you're doing a maths test, what type of pickles are best when licking a baseball bat? Sasquatch

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Why did the fridge fall off its bike? Because someone threw a little girl at it.

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My mom gave me a quarter. I tryed to spend it on bubblegum but 7-11 said no...

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A man walks into a bar. He hits his head, and then goes to the nearest drinking establishment.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Doctor. Doctor Who? Doctor Watson - I'm here to see your little sister who is currently terminally ill and every second is of vital importance. Therefore this exchange of words is only worsening the already terrible situation that we find ourselves in. Please open the door.

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Chuck Norris goes to the mars to fight the marshuns he then die's soon after because there is lack of oxegen on mars and theres no marshuns.

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How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a would chuck could chuck wood? Home depot

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why did scooba steeve loose his flippers? because his head imploded after reaching an extremley high pressure point at the bottom of the ocean. unable to live, his memory was a bit less persistant.

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TOP KEK

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What's got two legs and bleeds a lot? Half a dog.

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how do people without arms and legs have sex? no one has sex with people without arms and legs.

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Knock knock. Whos there? To get to the other side.

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Wanna know what's funny? A joke.

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Why doesn't Andy wanna bend over to puck something up? That's how he got assraped!

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A Mexican walked away from a construction site.

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Why do aliens listen to relaxing music while they have sex? They like to cum in peace. \m/

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my mom died because she was morbidly obese

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If life give you lemons, throw them at people.

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What did the widow get for her birthday? Nothing from her husband.

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"What do you call a man who has bumblebee wings and fire for blood?" (The doctor on the other line has no answer. Tom desperately weeps into the phone, trying to grasp his sudden transformation. He finds no reassurance, and hangs up the phone.)

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he took my chicken i shoot him in the foot and raped his dog

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A whole family go to a water park. They have a great day.

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What do you call a beagle and an eagle mixed together? A beagle.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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