My did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he’d rather be road kill, than be in the KFC right across the street,inside a kids meal,dead.

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Why is the light always red? Because the city has been in an economic depression and does not have the money to fix the traffic light's.

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Why didn't Helen Keller drive? With all that time she spent learning how to read and write despite being blind and deaf, authoring numerous books, and being a prolific political activist; she simply did not have the substantial time to acquire a driver's license.

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How do you make a 6-year-old cry again? Tell him that without further change to the system, he'll end up paying $100,000 for school and then not have a job when he graduates.

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A little boy walks up to his father and asks his father to explain the birds and bees. The father then proceeds to rape the little boy.

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michael: How old do I look? stranger: about 68? How old are you? michael: I cant remember I have alzheimers. michael: How old do I look?

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What is annoying and uses another language? Spanish class!

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A chronic hemophiliac walks into a bar. He cuts his leg and bleeds to death.

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Whats Green and Smells Like Grass? Grass

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a black man kills a family member of a mexican guy. the mexican guy goes to the police, what happens? The mexican guy gets deported back to his country after they realize that he was illegal

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Why did Suzy fall of the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Suzy.

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Why did the girl fall off the swings? She didn't have arms

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What do you call a man sitting at the bar drinking alone? An alcoholic.

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Why did th chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock knock! Who's there? The chicken

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When were in a zombie apocalypse I will make sure to save you for 40 days and then I will sacrifice you

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A man walks into a bar. What's missing? The joke.

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Why did the airplane crash? A loaf of bread was the pilot.

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Two muffins are in an oven one muffin says to the other muffin "It's hot in here" the other muffin says "Holy crap a talking muffin".

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Your mom is so fat she has to buy clothes at a Plus-size clothing store.

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What did the child rapist say to the little boy? I'm going to rape you.

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Why is this anti-joke here? Because someone submitted it to this website.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was blind and deaf.

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Your mother is so fat, she spends all day in her bedroom, eating chocolate and crying herself to sleep.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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