What's the difference between a dead baby and a pineapple? There will be no funeral for the pineapple..

thumb_up thumb_down +21

"Ask me if I'm an orange!" "Are you an orange?" "No."

thumb_up thumb_down +26

This guy gets on a plane and leaves he takes a bite of a green Apple and says to sower then he takes a bite out of a red Apple and says to sweet so he takes a bite of a gernade and says to crunchy so the plane lands and he walks past a little boy crying and says little boy why are you crying because a green Apple came down and hit my dog in the head so he's walking along and sees a nether boy crying and says little boy why are you crying cause a red Apple came down and hit me on the head so he's walking along abd sees a little girl laughing little girl he says why are you laughing cause I farted and the building be hind me bluw up lol ????

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A socialist, a Muslim, and an illegal immigrant walk into a bar. The bartender says, "What can I get for you Mr.President

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why do you believe in evolution? Because it increases the power of my pokemon.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did sally break her arm? A piano fell on her

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What's funnier then an anti-joke? People who fail at making them.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Which came first, The chicken or the egg? Well, Firstly, I suppose that depends on if we are discussing Creation or Evolution. If we are talking about Evolution, The Chicken must Logically have evolved from an egg laying creature, one which was similar to, but not quite a chicken, so, the first chicken hatched from the egg of said creature. However, if we are discussing Creation, there is no way to discern which the deity in question decided to create first, so, even odds. Therefore, Logically, there is a 75% chance the Egg came first. However, if we are discussing Chicken Eggs Specifically, the reverse is true, because the egg the first Chicken hatched from would not have been a chicken egg, it would have been the egg of another creature, a "proto-chicken" if you will. and so, in the evolution scenario, the Chicken came first. Still, in this situation, there are even odds as to which a creator may or may not have created first. Therefore, Logically, in this Scenario, there is a 75% chance that the Chicken came first

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know I'm not a bird physcologist

thumb_up thumb_down +5

cum on guys, gay jokes are mean

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What is an anti-joke? This is.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

where did napolean keep his armies? In his sleevies!

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender says "why the long face?" The horse says "I just found out I have AIDS"

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Why is the duck? Because it has two feet the same.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What is white, sticky and tastes great? Milk

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did Sarah fall of the swing ? Because she had no arms Knock Knock Who's there? Well it cant be sarah

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Knock Knock Who's there? The police. I'm afraid there's been an accident, you're entire family is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

I you beat Chuck Norris in arm wrestling, you will be proud of yourself and he will go home with nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

An innocent man's home was raided by police, who accused him of grand theft auto. It turns out it was just a case of mistaken identity.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A man enters a bar. Two minutes later, a woman leaves a bar. What happened? A man entered a bar and a woman left. What's there to explain?

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Two chavs jump off a cliff, who wins? Neither. Leaving aside the fact that two people would jump off a cliff in any kind of competitive context is highly improbable, due to the laws of physics objects fall at the same speed and therefore both people would hit the ground at the same time, meaning that, unless either of them deployed a parachute mid way through, they would, in fact, be in a dead heat.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Whats funnier than a pile of dead babies? A young girl you know personally, completely alone with leukemia.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

what happened to the farm animals? They were slaughtered and their parts were sold as meat, glue and other useful materials

thumb_up thumb_down +10

I have read and agree to terms of service.

thumb_up thumb_down +61

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops