Whats green and will kill you if it falls out of a tree? A pool table

what was postman pat's name before he was a postman? Pat.

A deer looks at the ground and sees something strange. He wonders what it could be. A rabbit comes along and thinks the same. A badger promptly arrives after the rabbit and thinks the exact same. 4 seconds later they all get hit by a train.

Who made it down the cliff first the blonde or brunet? The brunet, the blonde had to stop for directions

What do you call a guy with no arms and legs buried 6 feet under the ground? Doug What do you call a guy with no arms and legs buried 3 feet under the ground? Douglas

A blonde, brunette, and redhead live in the same neighborhood. They are Desperate Housewives

What does a sailboad and a walrus have in common? Nothing.

Why did the shark attack the rock? Because it thought it was a human.

Why did Suzy fall of the swing? She didn't have arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Suzy.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was being chased by a pack of wolverines and decided the best idea was to run away, and this decision just happened to involve him crossing a road.

Q: Why does the blonde have the biggest tits in the third grade? A: Because she's 21

She Explored My Body, Licked, Sucked, Swallowed! When Satisfied, She Left! . . . . Damn Mosquito!!!

Women's rights

Why did the chicken cross the road? No soap, radio!

Robert: wanna hear a joke? Robort:ok, shoot. Robert: *BANG!*

Why should you never attempt to rob Chuck Norris? Because he will beat you up as he knows self defense.

Dave: Knock, knock Steven: Come in.

Q: What do you call a grammatically incorrect horse? A: An horse

what is the difference between a indian and a trampoline? you take you shoes off to jump on the trampoline.

Q : WHAT DID THE SMALL SHEEP SAY TO THE BIG SHEEP ? Z : BÆÆÆ

How did the black man burn down the house. He threw a flaming match through the window.

What happened to the gun that was jammed? It didn't shoot.

If life hands you melons you might be dyslexic

Knock Knock Who's There? Poop. Poop who? HAHAHAHAHAHA you said poopoo

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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