What do Jim Carrey, Kim Jing-un and Justin Bieber have in common? A penis.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why cant i stand up? Cause i shat my pants

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What smells like weed? the person who smoked it.

thumb_up thumb_down

2001, 2 airplains fly into the world trait centers. the pilots then had their licences taken away.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

William Wright. 8 perry street Answer-Gay

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Q: Wanna hear a joke? A: Women's rights.

thumb_up thumb_down +160

Why did the man buy fruits at the store? Because they were available, on sale, and the man was hungry, so he wanted to eat fruit at that time, he then got into his car, but thought to himself first, "I should unlock my car so I can open the door," so he does so, and sits in the drivers seat eating his fruit, he drives off to his home, arrives safely, and greets his family as he enters the house, then they sit down, eat dinner, and go to sleep, the next day, the man goes to the store, and buys vegetables

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Oh hey is your dad good at golf? No, he's not really good at anything except lying.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

daughter and boyfriend havin sex baby baby baby ohhh!! mum walks in; what you doin signin to justin bieber,oh ok just make sure you dont sing to his song its crap!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -32

A blond, a brunette, and a red-head are standing on the edge of a cliff. They then realize how dangerous that is and proceed to back away and view the canyon at a safe distance.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did Susie fall off the monkey bars? She had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Man: Doctor, everything I touch hurts. Doctor: Okay. Let's test it out by first touching your leg. Man: It hurts. Doctor: What about your arm? Man: It hurts as much. Doctor: What about your back? Man: It still hurts. Doctor: I see......your fingers are broken.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What's the difference between a turtle and a fish? Turtles aren't fish.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why don't meth addicts like food? Because they have not teeth to chew it with.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

why can't Amy ride on the rollercoaster? Because she's under the height limit.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What do you call a fat Chinese person? A chunk.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's worse than scraping your knee? Getting a needle shoved into your penis and the needle hitting your scrotum so that you are in serious agony for hours and finding out you cannot have kids because of it.

thumb_up thumb_down -56

Q: What did the man say when he tried to commit suicide by jumping off a 20 storie building? A: Ow!

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Hi Danny it's Louis Tehe

thumb_up thumb_down -128

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm not a very good poet

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Holocaust jokes are not funny. My Grandpa died in the Holocaust... He fell off of the guard tower.

thumb_up thumb_down +54

What's the difference between a Green Grocers and Fighter pilot! One flys a plane and one sells food.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

I like dogs. Lots of dogs. Meow.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

An incoming freshman introduces himself to his Ethics professor by saying, "What's up?" To which the professor responds, "You should never end a sentence with a preposition." The freshman, who is both clever and witty, quickly responds to his future Professor, saying: "Professor, I practice linguistic description, such that I observe language objectively in a way that does not adhere strictly to grammatical and syntactic dogma". The professor, surprised by the student's philosophical disposition, engages the student in a highly constructive dialogue about the philosophy of language, from which both the student and teacher learn more about each other and themselves.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops