Q: What did the nazi say to hitler? A: You like my Auschwitz?

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Q: Why did the kid cross the playground? A: To get to the other slide

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How do you kill a Chinese man? There are many ways, all of which are horrible

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I don't understand what's so bad about a worm in your apple. Just get the proper software to clean it up, or even better, get a PC

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Q: What did the newborn dumpster baby say to the raccoon? A: Nothing. Newborn babies cannot talk.

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What is a hammer? It's not a screwdriver

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a horse walks in to a bar and the bar tender asks, "why the long face?" The horse doesn't respond because it is a horse and is confused by its surroundings and then gallops out of the bar knocking over a few tables as it makes its escape.

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A man goes to the doctor. The doctor says, I'm sorry but you have about four to six months to live. The man goes home and checks his million dollar life insurance policy.It expires in three months.

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What did the milk bottle say to the other milk bottle? Nothing. Bottles can't talk you silly goose.

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What's worse than a pile of dead babies? The one at the bottom is alive. What's worse than that? He's eating his way out. What's worse than that? He came back for seconds.

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Why did the chicken cross the road...

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Why don't women like to have penises? Evidently women have different tastes than men in what body parts they enjoy having.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a terrorist.

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What happened to the guy who ate the alarm clock at 6 o'clock in the morning? He died

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Why did the clown fall off the unicycle? Because I shot him in the face.

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What the flower say to the bird. Nothing

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Whats the difference between Osama and Obama? The S is replaced with a B.

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What do you call a middle-aged Polish man on Skype? A lonely man.

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hey i just met you and this is crazy but hears my number so call me maby .....7 days

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What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef What do you call a cow that's been chopped in half? Dead

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What do you call a Muslim pilot? An accident waiting to happen

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I baked you a pie! Oh boy! What flavor? Apple.

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What did the strawberry say to the grape? Nothing, inanimate objects can't use verbal communication.

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Roses are gray Violets are gray ROFL I'm a dog

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops