Who has big eyes, big ears, and a big mouth? The witness I'm about to murder so he cannot testify against me. Wish me luck.

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How do you drown a fish? You can't , it is physically Impossible to drown a fish. because they have gills, so they are able to breathe underwater.

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A guy walks into a bar what does he say? OW.

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Nuclear Bombs are bad. But erections are good.......as long as they are stroked

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Why did the boy run down the road? Because he was being chased by a tsunami

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Roses are red Violets are blue I don't like poems What rhymes with poem?

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What do you get when you shoot 3 cute kittens that have just walked into the house? 3 dead kittens

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What worse than a hurt puppy? Two hurt puppies.

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A man asks his wife to make him a sandwich, she proceeds to make a sandwich using rye bread, lettuce, two slices of tomatoes, a variety condiments, mustard and several slices of American cheese. The man eats the sandwich at a parade with his wife celebrating Woman's Rights.

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What did the man say after falling off the bridge? Nothing. He died a painful and terrible death on impact.

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this site is an antijoke

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Knock Knock Who's there? St. Judes St.Judes who ? St.Judes Research Hospital calling. Give me money, I've got cancer kids dying

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What do you call a guy with a rubber toe? . . . . . . . Roberto

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What is black and beats up white people? a cop you racist!

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What's the difference between a black girl and a white girl? Nipple color

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What did the skeleton say to the man? Nothing.

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Why do black people log onto blackpeoplemeet.com? To meet black people.

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Susie has Autism

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Which is better; having a billion dollars or a trillion dollars? Trick Question, you aren't that rich.

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How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two but I don't know how they got in there.

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Why did the motorcyclist die? I heard he was sat on by Chuck Norris.

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Why can't the blonde dial 911? Because she's been bound and gagged by kidnappers who are holding her for ransom.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Why couldn't she get up? Because she had no legs.

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What did the hammer say to the drill? Nothing, they don't talk stupid.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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