What does a baby sound like when put in the microwave? I don't know, I was masturbating.

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What did little jimmy get for Christmas? A box containing the malevolent soul of a 10,000 year-old demon determined to torment his cat.

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How do you make a mime talk? Put a gun to his head.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know your mother is a skank.

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Why does Marcus keep playing dumb games instead of doing his goelogy. No one knows.

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HEY YOU!!!!

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What's the square root of four? Two.

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Hey, I'm Schrödinger, and this is crazy! But here's a sealed box... the cat lives, maybe...

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What do you call a blonde on the Moon? That depends on what her name is.

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It’s dead.

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What is white and weighs twice as much as Shamoo? My ass.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I am an orphan I have no parents

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A young girl falls off a swing, she is paralysed from the neck down and unable to walk every agian.

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This guy went to the store because he needed potatoes. So he asked the clerk where the potatoes were at and she said "Isle fiveeeeeee!" So he went there and there were no potatoes ! hahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahhahahhahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahajhahahahahhahahhahahhahahahahahahhaahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahhahahhahahahahhaahhahahahahahahahahahhahaahhahahahahahahaahhahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahhaahhahaahahahahahhhhahha

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What's green and fuzzy and would hurt a lot if it fell out of a tree and hit you? A pool table

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What did the two fire men say to each other whilst a house was burning? Well be better put that fire.

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What did the feminist say to the CIS white male? I respect you as a person.

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How do you drown a down syndrome child? Put him/her into water.

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Who is blue and smells like green paint? Matt Daly

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Did you hear about the cow that could fly? Me either

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Yo mama is so hairy, because she's arab.

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Barack Obama.

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What did the black kid get for his birthday?

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Neither does he.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops