what did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? we are both lawyers

a robber walks into a bank. he steals everything and kills the guards

What do you call a man with cheese on his face? His name is David.

Why do we have brown eggs? Because black people have sex with chickens

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse says "my wife has cancer"

What do you get when Chuck Norris meets Chuck Norris? A bad joke.

Who is buried in Grant's Tomb? DeShawn

Knock, knock! Who's there? No one. No one actually knocked on your door because this is just a joke.

What's worse than being caught in a downpour? Having your kneecaps ripped out of their sockets.

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple?  Getting raped by a 10 foot scorpion.

What's brown and smells like shit? An oddly shaped birthmark on a dirty homeless man

Joe is a negotiator. When joe sees someone in trouble, he tries to help them out of it by talking. Joe failed to talk to Osama bin laden correctly. Joe is no longer living in this world. Joe drank his sorrows away and died from the alcohol in his body. Osama is completely unrelated to this, his family died in a car crash.

Q: Why did the plane crash? A: The driver was a loaf of bread

why did the black man cross the road? to get away from the racists

What do you call a black man eating fried chicken? By his name, which could be John, considering the popularity of said name.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was hit by a fridge. Why did Sally fall off her bike? She was hit by a falling monkey and fridge.

Why didn't the Mexican dwarf eat his taco? Well, he actually started, but he had already had one earlier. So, he gave half to his friend who gladly accepted the free taco.

A White, Black, Hispanic, and an Asian man are stranded on a deserted island. They become best friends, proving race should not be a divisive factor in any community.

What do people call baby cats in Alabama? Kittens.

How many kleptomaniacs does it take to screw in a lightbulb? What lightbulb?

a black guy walks into a fast food place.

What would you do if Spider Man gave you super powers like his? Nothing. Spider Man is not real therefore you are most likely dreaming and need to wake up soon.

if your in a wheelchair have no hair because of cancer and are being fed through a tube you should wait a couple of years before ending it. and wrinkles into the equation....... BANG

What did Soviet children dream about? Communism.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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