What didn't the artist buy at Best Buy? A Ziploc Bag full of AIDs infested zebra pubes.

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What did Mel Gibson say to the African-American? I'm sorry

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What did the lamp say to the pencil? Nothing. Lamps and pencils are inanimate objects and are also non sentient so therefore are incapable of talking or listening or having any emotions.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding an apple-sized tumor in your colon.

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Knock knock. USE THE DOORBELL!

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your mums so fat! "last time i heard that i fell of my dinosaur!!" Oh man are you ok?

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Why isnt there any mexicans on star trek? Because even in the future they dont work.

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what is white and sticky? glue.

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Q-How do you kill an elephant? A- An elephant gun Q- How do you kill a blue elephant? A- A blue elephant gun Q- How do you kill a red elephant? A- Strangle it until it turns blue then use a blue elephant gune Q- How do you kill a purple elephant? A- Don't be ridiculous purple elephants don't exist

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on a scale from 0 to 100, how childish are you? 69

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A duck flies into a bar. The bartender allows it to stay because it turns into a beautiful swan. The goose then lays a golden egg and the bartender stares in awe as a giant bean stalk grows out of the egg. He's ecstatic and really glad he let the flamingo stay with all the wonderful colors and magic going on.

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Q:When a T- Rex walks into your house what does it mean? A: Your on pot, T-rex's are extinct

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What's worse than being raped? Being raped after getting raped.

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A guy walks into a bar. He meets a girl and they have a great time. He calls her the next day and their relationship continues for many months. Eventually they get married and have children.

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im typkiking wifrh myv troes. Sorry, i was typing with my toes.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To mutilate the body of a Jewish girl that lay on the other side.

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What do Justin Bieber and Eminem have in common? They both need to get a life. I lied about Eminem.

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Your mother is so fat because she inherited poor genes and dietary habits from her own parents.

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Q: A black man, A Mexican, And a Asian are in a car. Who Is Driving? A: The Cop.

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Your mamma is so fat that she is undergoing strict diet and exercise in order to reduce the risk of premature death due to health complications.

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A guy walks into a restaurant and sits down only to realize he is not wearing any pants. Immediately the police are called and arrest the man for indecent exposure. Given there were children in the restaurant at the time, the man is also charged as level 3 sex offender and is held on $100,000 bail. His family receives the news and become the talk of the town. His wife commits suicide from embarrassment, leaving her 10 year old son up for adoption who later gets involved with drugs due to his rough childhood.

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Theaters say silence is golden... Trap silence in a jar, make millions.

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What did the cow get for Christmas? A tree

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Do you know why I am excited? I don't know I'm asking you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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