What do you do when life gives you lemons? You apparently are not a fan of lemons what so ever, so you then throw them away, not knowing what to expect.

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Why can't Albert Einstein hold down a job? Because he's dead.

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What is more scary than an AK47,blood,and 99999 naughty children? Nothing problaly :p

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roses are red, bitches are blue close your damn legs and use a condom too.

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What did I say to the joke? What? Correct.

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What did the wife get her husband after he became a paraplegic in a car accident? Divorce papers.

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why was the little girl crying? because she was molested

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What's the difference between Elisabeth Fritzl and Pope John Paul II? Pope John Paul II wasn't imprisoned and raped continuously over a 24 year period in a horrific act of cruelty by his father

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what do you get when you combine an astronaut, a microwave and a bathtub? A suicide investigation

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What's black, white, and red all over? The color scheme. Except for the black and white. They're shades.

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Why did two girls need one cup? they didnt feel like washing an extra dish to drink their coca cola

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I LOVE MASTURBAITING ALL DAY!!!!

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What's smaller then a midget? A baby midget.

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A blond and a brunette are on the moon. The brunette says to the blond "I'm glad that independent company's are taking the job of American space travel."

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What happened on December 7, 1941 in Hawaii? People celebrated the 100th anniversary of December 7, 1841

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it is common to find chickens and other wild and/or domesticated animals roaming through the streets in a multitude of countries.

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Why did the teenage boy touch himself at night? Because he was shot in the stomach by his drunken father and was trying in vain to stop the bleeding.

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Q:a black man walks down the street with alot of light whats happaning he A:is it the parade of light

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What did the rapist say when he spotted the young girl? I am going to rape you!

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Q. Why did the woman cross the road? A. She didn't. She's still in the kitchen because I beat her if she's not cooking or cleaning.

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what was the dinosaur after it got out of the pool? wet

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What's more funny than a dead baby? A dead baby dressed like a clown.

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What do you get for the man that has everything already? Another one.

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What's worse than having but sex and finding out you have aids? Knowing that the person you had sex with was dead

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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