A horse walks into a bar You have been reading so many anti jokes that you can actually anticipate the anti-joke punchline to this joke, because it is one of maybe 3 or 4.

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Why was Newton surprised when the apple fell on his head? Because he was sitting under a pear tree.

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What's the difference between a baby and a mushroom? One is delicious, the other is a mushroom.

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A train conducter conducts goes at 60mph, when he goes under a bridge he goes at 52mph. When he goes over a hill he goes at 47mph. If he goes under 3 bridges and over 6 hills what did the conductors mother eat for dinner that night. Nothing, after many months of suffering she died from Huntington's disease.

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DEATH.

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A man walks into a bar. He is then taken to the hospital for his concussion, seeing as the bar was made of metal

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How do you starve colored people? deny them food stamps

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Wha'ts the difference between Justin Beiber and a piece of hot muff garbage? Fart triscuits.

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2 black guys, a colombian guy and a white girl are sitting at a bar. They are friends.

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What does Mickey mouse do every day? Minnie mouse

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What did the statue say to the other statue? stat-you?

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Your momma is so fat that she is a plus size model and gets paid very well for modeling. Good for her.

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What's a black man that drives a bus? A bus-driver

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What did the Man say to the elephant Nothing this man does not speak, the elephant does though

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If pro is the opposite of con, what is the opposite of progress? Deteriorate

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A blonde is rowing a boat in a cornfield. While driving by, another blonde notices and pulls over and steps out of her car. She looks out and yells "You know, it's blondes like you that are giving us a bad name. If you weren't so far out, I would swim out there and beat the shit outta you!"

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What did the salami say to the ham? Nothing; meat can not talk

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Why did the chicken cross the road? We will never know. Chickens are incapable of communicating with humans and thus the intent of the chicken is subject to speculation.

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Q: a blonde, a brunette, and redhead jump off a cliff, which one hits the ground first? A: Most likely the one that weighs more

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken. How do you get a baby to run faster? Chase it with the lawn mower. What do you get when you cut a baby with a straight razor? An erection. What do you get when you put a dead baby in a blender? Hold on. I'll tell you in a second. What's pink and spits? A baby in a frying pan. -S

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William and Kate do get off their ass and do something useful for once instead of hogging the cover of intouch magazine.

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A guy walks into a bar. He's thirsty and wants a beer.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was black.

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why do you often see black man dating fat chick?? because they have the brains to realise that fat chicks are just people and need love too

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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