How do you teach your daughter to stop wetting the bed? Cut her best friends eye-lids off at her birthday party.

What did the boy with cancer get for christmas? The video game he really wanted.

What did the man say to Hitler? You're a douche

Person 1: Eric is in the hospital! I think it was those depression pills. Person 2: What did he overdose? Person 3: No he just took to much.

The racist uncle went to attend his nieces bat-mitzvah. Although he is racist, he is smart enough to not speak his mind, for he is in a temple, and may offend many people at the service.

Whats green and smells like grass? Grass scented air freshener, in a green colored can.

Chuck noris is so awesome that he brings a knife to a gun-fight, and wins

square circles have souls but gingers do not CC

Why did the monkey fall out the tree? Because he was dead.

You dropped something.... Yo lip

Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

Why didn't the little boy get to go to the movies on his birthday? He was both blind and deaf, completely defeating the purpose of going to the movies.

What is 6 plus 9? 15

A white man walks down an alley and sees two black men. They say hello and then are on their way.

A girl dropped her pencil while sitting next to her bf... She glanced at his phone while he was texting a message that said "I love you"... The girl jumped up and called him every name she could think of and left the room... The message was to his mother! She didn't listen and left him... He killed himself because she left him... She killed herself because he killed himself... Moral of the story: Don't drop you pencil!

Q: What did Batman say to Robin when he noticed he had lost his belt? A: Robin! Q:What did Robin respond? A: Yes?

whats worse than a dead baby two dead babies what could be worse than that? constapation

Dear Board of education, so are we.

AIDS

What's red and invisible? No Tomatoes

What did the cripple kid get for Christmas? Cancer. You know what he got the next the next Christmas? Nothing he died.

What do women and airplanes have in common? They both have cockpits!

Why did the chicken cross the road? it didn't it was being sexually abused by its father.

It's fun for you and me, that's why they call it OCD It's easy as 1..2.... Hey look a butterfly!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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