What did the octopus say to the lion? Nothing, because the likely hood of a lion and an octopus meeting is incredibly slim, as an octopus is a sea creature, and a lion isn't. A lion and an octopus cant even communicate with each other anyway, so even if they did come across each other they wouldn’t be able to talk. Octopi are also anti-social creatures by nature so I can say with some confidence that the lion and the octopus will not have a convocation. Written By JAMES!

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What worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings. What worse than two bee stings? The Holocaust What worse than the Holocaust? Three bee stings

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Why is it incorrect that the universe will end in 2012? Because profound idiocy doesn't always occur.

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When is a joke funny? When you read it.

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Military intelligence.

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why did the chicken cross the road ? how else is he going to get to the other side

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What do you call an Asian man without any clothes on? -naked

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

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How do you keep your dog warm? Put antifreeze in its water dish.

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What did man who had diarrhea say to the other man? "I have to go to the toilet."

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roses are red, bitches are blue close your damn legs and use a condom too.

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kid: can i go to the bathroom? teacher: you have to say the alphabet first. kid: ugh. fine. a.b.c.d.e.f.g.h.i.j.k.l.m.n.o.q.r.s.t.u.v.w.x.y.z teacher: what happened to the p? the kid bows his head in shame sits back down as the entire class laughs at him.

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knock knock Come in!!!

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Roses are red Violets are blue My head itches I'm going to get this guy to itch it for me

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Where did Suzie go during the bombing? Everywhere. -Tag

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How do you stop a vehicle moving at high speeds? Apply the brakes in a reasonable fashion.

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yo momma is so stupid she went to the beach and the whales song " dooooooonnn't stop. belieeeeving. wwwwwhoooooooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOA"

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I know what you do with your right hand. You part-take in everyday activities such as eating, typing, grooming and maneuvering.

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Knock, knock. Come in.

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Roses are red, violets are blue. my Mom is a hooker.

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Why did the man float in the lake? Because he had more fat than average, so he was very buoyant

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How do you starve a black man? Tell welfare to cancel food stamps

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A Black Guy, A Mexican, A White guy, an Indian guy, Santa Clause and The Easter Bunny Jump off a 500 foot cliff. Which one dies? The all do. But Santa dies first because of his weight and mass.

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Why is the black guy unable to support his family? He's 3 years old.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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