How do you tell if an alien had been in your house? All your lightbulbs are gone and your fridge is pregnant.

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Why did people have cold showers in the old days? Because there was no electricity back then, making it hard to heat water to a temperature that was classified as 'warm'.

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I told a priest that I would never believe in anything greater than myself. He said I had the God complex, that I was grandios. I stared him in the eye and asked, "how highly do you think of me? Thank you" and left.

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What did Han Solo say to Chewy before they got in the Millennium Falcon? Chewy, get in the ship.

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why dont black people go on cruises? there not falling for that one again

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what do mr. potato head and micheal jackson have in common? their noses come off pretty easily

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I wonder if barrack Obama will rename the whitehouse...to the blue house because it is his favorite color

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Why did humpty dumpty fall off the wall? Because he was pushed.

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What worse that punching a baby? Stabing one.

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What did the little girl do with her puppy? She killed it.

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Chuck Norris was dropped twice when he was a baby, once on concrete and once on hardwood

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Whats worse than a pile of dead babies? A live on at the bottom.

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Why did the dog in Detroit die in the street? It was stabbed.

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Why did the black man have no toes? Because during his climb of Everest, he got frostbite and they had to be amputated.

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how did hitler fit 100 Jews in his car??? he couldn't, his car only fits 5 people.

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How do u get an A on your test. U lock your teacher in the closet.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To pick up the carcass of its road-killed younger brother and weep.

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One man walks on a bridge, another man sees him but doesn't really care about him.

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How do you get a small freckly boy to stop watching television. You turn off the television.

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FOLLOW ME @airvvv

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Whats black, white, and read all over? Micheal Jackson reading a book while painting himself red.

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ask me if i have a place to call home> 'have you a place to call home?' no im sad and lonely.

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Why did the 40 year old man quickly close his web page when his wife called his name? Because he had to leave.

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How do you kill a blue elephant? With a blue elephant gun. How do you kill a red elephant? Spray paint it blue then shoot it with a blue elephant gun

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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