If a tree falls in a forest and only one women is there to hear it, does i make a sound? Trick question: there's no forests in kitchens.

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They sent her to her room without dinner.

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Why does Santa Clause not have any children? Because he only cums once a year.

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How do you stop a plane? Throw flying birds at it.

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What do Lebron James and Bill Murray have in common? They are both black basketball players. Except for bill murray

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What do you say to a blind buss driver? You suck

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You're so straight!

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How do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator? You don't, the giraffe is a savanah animals and there is no physical way for a giraffe to fit in a refridgerator.

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What did the twin towers get at the pizza place? 2 planes

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Why did the plane crash Because Joe diragi is so fat

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Small breasts.

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How is a Jew and a White Person alike. 'cuz you touch yourself.

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Q: How do you solve a problem like Maria. A: You kill her. You kill Maria.

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Three men walk into a bar. Start drinking, fight each other and sustain massive head injuries.

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how do you get a blue waffle? paint your vagina blue

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kidnap his family.

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There is no "I" in "TEAM" However, there is a "T" an "E" an "A" and an "M"

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If you helped Jack on the horse, would you help Jack off the horse? Of course; if he was too short to climb onto the saddle then it would be irresponsible and potentially dangerous not to help him off. As his riding instructor, you would be liable for any injuries Jack sustained had he attempted to dismount the horse with no assistance.

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What did spongebob say to patrick? Im ready! im ready!

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What's worse than one bee sting? Two bee stings What's worse than two bee stings? The Holocaust What's worse than the Holocaust? Three bee stings

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Why was the man afraid of the fish? He had ichthyophobia.

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a man and his son pull up out side b&q and the man says to his son run in there and get me a black n decker and the boy goes in and is standing in the power tools isle and he looks round and there is a lady standing next to him so he hit her, the woman happened to be black and 2 minutes later a security guard rushes round and says son what did u do that for and the son said my dad told me to come in and get a black n decker!

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What smells like weed? the person who smoked it.

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whats red and bad for your teeth... A brick.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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