Hey, you must be a parking ticket. Because you are on the windshield of my car.

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Q. If the early bird gets the worm, what does the early worm get? A. Eaten...

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Ask your friend: Will you remember me in a week? Will you remember me in a month? Will you remember me in a year? Knock Knock. Who's there? How did you forget me already?!?

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HOLY SHIT!!!!

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Why did Visellet stop eating cherries? Because she choked on a pit and died.

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What does a paralysed mans legs feel like? We don't know, he is paralysed

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what is 2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2-2+2x0 20

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What's the difference between peanut butter and jam ? Among many things, one is made with peanut butter, the other with fruits.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? We will never know. Chickens are incapable of communicating with humans and thus the intent of the chicken is subject to speculation.

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Arab 1: Du good bai me, and I'll du good bai you. Arab 2: Ye men, sounds good men. Arab 3: O man, no way. Arab 4: K, u wait...jus wait n see.. Arab 5: I no interest! Me so saudi! Arab 6: D'oh...ha, ha, haa! Arab 7: This is so bahrain...I'm going to go club some protesters.

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Your mama's so fat that she has type 2 diabetes.

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What's hiding in Redfoo (from LMFAO)'s afro? Nobody knows...

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What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car? Robin, get in the car.

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Why was the black man running? He has to stay fit for the army.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I thought I was ugly But then I met you

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Several ways to annoy people: Grab the end of their shirt to blow your nose Try to shove a bowling ball down there throat Try to sell them a broom and vacuum Try to eat their babies paint their toe Nibble their ankles Ask if you can babysit their crystal and if they say no start whining Carry around your chicken and ask if they want a nugget

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Q: why did the pie cross the road? A: Pie is not a living thing and has no way of transportation, therefor the pie did not cross the road.

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When Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked the world, He broke his foot because every human being that kicks such a solid structure would break their foot.

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Q: why are black people good at basketball? A: because they practice

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Why did the jew save his money? Because his wife has cancer and the radiation treatments are very expensive.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Get in the shed I'm gonna screw you

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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what did the black man eat for dinner? whatever his wife makes for him to eat

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what do you call a black guy who flies planes? a pilot

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops