Why did the chicken cross the road? Because a man holding a shotgun was chasing him

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue In Soviet Russia Poem tells You -Ben

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Roses are red, Violets are red, I stabbed someone in my garden, There's blood everywhere

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A guy and a girl look at a dog licking his crotch and the guy utters "damn I wish I could do that" The girl says: I can totally do that! "really? prove it" the guy says. The girl walks towards the dog and says "you just need to pet him so he don't bite you"

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Beans, beans, the magical fruit. The more you eat, the more you have consumed.

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Roses are blue, Violets are green, I am color blind, You have cancer.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? A tragic accident waiting to happen.

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anal seepage

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What's brown and sticky? Poop.

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Asshole huh? Dont give me any ideas. Again you are not high on weed are you? Then that's really bad.

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What did the chilean guy told to the other chilean guy? Hola!

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what do you call a joke that makes no sense? a joke that makes no sense

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- Knock, knock. - Who's there? - Immigration.

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A helicopter was flying around above Seattle when an electrical malfunction disabled all of the aircraft's electronic navigation and communications equipment. Due to the clouds and haze, the pilot could not determine the helicopter's position. The pilot saw a tall building, flew toward it, circled, and held up a handwritten sign that said "WHERE AM I?" in large letters. People in the tall building quickly responded to the aircraft, drew a large sign, and held it in a building window. Their sign said "YOU ARE IN A HELICOPTER." The pilot smiled, waved, looked at his map, determined the course to steer to SEATAC airport, and landed safely. After they were on the ground, the copilot asked the pilot how he had done it. "I knew it had to be the Microsoft Building, because they gave me a technically correct but completely useless answer."

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What happened to the guy who bought a nice, brand new, plasma screen t.v.? He hanged himself.

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What did 7 say to 6? I hear you've been spreading stories about me.

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my own dog bit my penis off, it was then put down. it was the worst day of my life.

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Why did the blonde throw her alarm clock out the window? Because it was broken.

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What has two legs and is red all over? Half a dog.

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What did the minority say to the white person? Aboobasashagaboogly. He was uneducated, along with the other minorities in the world.

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roses are red violets are blue holy sh*t slendermans behind you

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whats your budget like? a budget.

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Why did Jimmy not go to school? Because Jimmy, along with his family, were killed in a horrible house fire. Knock Knock? Who's there? Not Jimmy...

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What did the shark say to the boat captain? So do you prefer cards or pool?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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