A bench doesn't breathe, apparently Mexicans do.

roses are red, violets are blue, hey reed and steven, we should hang out

whats the difference between a guitar and a fish? A guitar is an instrument used to produce noise and a fish is a living orgnism native to lakes and oceans

How do you drown a blonde? You hold her head underwater for a long time.

Roses are red Violets are blue Sunflowers are yellow You thought that this would be romantic, but alas, it is only gardening facts

A three legged dog walks into the bar and says, " I'm lookin' for the man that shot my paw." The bartender replies, "Your father was an honorable man, and I wish I could help."

When life gives you lemons you mix them with vinegar to make a drink that will help your high blood pressure.

What did the man say to his wife before she made him a sandwhich? Do your job and make me a sandwhich.

Why is your Mom so ugly? She was born that way

What's big, brown, and barks? Tree

Why did the giant frog attack the party goers with a ballistic missile? oh where tos tart...it's, just such a long story, I don't really know where to begin, in fact it's probably better if you just take my word for it, no need to go into details. we just don't have time for that now.

How many Ethiopian's can you fit in a bathtub? As many as you want, they'd all fall down the drain. JimBoto

What colour is a black man in a freezer black

A fat cat sits on the ground staring up at a fence. The fence stares down at the cat and laughs.

What's worse than your console not switching on? A mutilated body.

What did the mexican say to the black person? Hey there! How are you today?

Christmas was blonde that year and the lemon had several monkey lamps, so it asked, "Why are my toenails so radish-flavored?" There were no answers and many months passed by the Windows operating system like cars down a highway running over a family.

What's the difference between contemporary Christian music?

What did the family in debt get for Christmas.....a eviction notics.

Q: What's the difference between Yo' Mama and a blue whale? A: About 10 pounds.

Knock, Knock. Who's there? George. George Who? George Smith.

What do Jay Williams, Lebron James, Candace Parker and Maya Moore have in common? They were all winners of the Morgan Wootten Player of the Year Award.

What happens if you fell off a 600 foot cliff? You die.

what did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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