A mass murderer ran into a bar full of people. He first shot a man. What did the man say when the murderer shot him? Nothing, he was hit in the head and instantly died before he could say anything.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why couldn't Ariel talk in the Little Mermaid? Someone slit her throat.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A strange man knocks at the door He's your son

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the 3 legged dog fall over? Because it was knocked over by a passing pedestrian.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

His Royal Highness was hunting in the forest accompanied by his squires and hunting dogs. A man, screaming, ran wildly out of the brush and addressed the hunting party. He said, "DON'T SHOOT! I AM NOT A MOOSE!! PLEASE DO NOT SHOOT!!!!" The king calmly raised his rifle to his eye and fired, hitting the man in the temple, and instantly killing him. A squire frantically turned to the king and said "Sire! Why did you kill this man?! He CLEARLY said he was not a moose!" The King replied "Oh! I thought he said he WAS a moose..."

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Why was the little boy sad? He tried to dry off his puppy in the oven.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

A murder, a cheater, and a liar walk into a bar..... Woah the aptriots must be in town -Rocco Tufano

thumb_up thumb_down +63

How do two porcupines make love? Well actually it's doubtful that porcupines feel higher emotions like love - they pretty much just mate for reproductive purposes.

thumb_up thumb_down +90

Whats the worse than dieing of cancer, dieing alone and having AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Wanna hear a joke about a baby with AIDS? It never gets old.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

hey i just met you and this is crazy i have alzheimers hey i just met you

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How do you please a black person? Shower him with love and affection.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

This made my day: The Japanese verb "to drink" is "nomimasu". [L]

thumb_up thumb_down

Jason Connor.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What do you get when you cross a chicken and a turkey? Just a sort of mixed bird thing.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What did the devil say to the baby with four arms? I am evil.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What do you do if there's a black guy bleeding on your lawn? Help Him

thumb_up thumb_down +1

3 guys were caught trespassing in a field and were sent to jail. The cop asked the first guy, "What were you doing in the field? He replied, "I was blowing bubbles" The cop asked the second guy, "What were you doing in the field?" He replied, "I was blowing bubbles" The cop then asked the third guy, "Lemme guess, you were blowing bubbles too? The guy replied, "No silly, I am Bubbles!"

thumb_up thumb_down +1

have you seen hellen kellers new treehouse? no well neither has she

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Yo mama so fat when she dresses in red she looks like clifford the big red dog!

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What fires shots? A gun

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to a bin lorry

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's worse than the Holocaust? Getting raped..

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Jinoo walks into a club it's not a club anymore it's a slaying factory

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops