Knock Knock Who's There? Peyton Peyton who? Peyton Manning

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What was even more disgusting than the holocaust? Lucy's new shoes.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Where do cows go when they're bored? Wherever they're standing. Cows cannot use toilets, regardless of their mood.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What happened to the man who just took a shit? He got a stunning pain in his anus because the earlier Hemorrhoid issues had now turned in to a open wound around his Anoderm.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

"luke Bastiaan" "So, whens your period?"

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q. What's funnier than an anti-joke? A. Thousands of anti-jokes, compiled on a worldwide network.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

"Where are my shoes?" asked the man. "On your feet," I replied. "You are a paraplegic and have no feeling from the waist down."

thumb_up thumb_down +2

roses are red violets are blue i am retarded i like pancakes

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A man walks into a bar. He says ow

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Whats worse than finding out that your family is dead? finding a worm in your apple

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why cant the guy drink his beer Because he hasnt opened it yet

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why was little Timmy an orphan? His family were slaughtered when he was three.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Two elderly men were sat next to a children's playground... They were there to pick up their grandchildren because their parents were at work.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What's wore then finding a worm in your apple? Being the only person to survive a plane crash over Alaska, then having to eat your family in order to stay alive waiting for help to come.

thumb_up thumb_down

Whats black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because i was keeping his family at gun-point on the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Knock Knock Who's there? Tennis? Tennis who? Tennis Racket

thumb_up thumb_down -17

69

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did the robot say to the boy? Nothing, the robot malfunctioned and started to strangle the boy. The authorities tried to get the robot to stop but robots are too strong. When the robot had killed the boy, it self destructed.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

"George? I wanna tend da wabbits, George" - Lennie Smalls

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Dave: Hi John! John: I have Aids.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

I've got a tip for the ladies. Or if you like I can put the whole thing

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What is worse than blue balls? Green Balls.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why are stand up comedians called stand up comedians? Because they are standing up while telling jokes, dumby.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops