your momma is so poor that she is on welfare.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why were the parents sad? Because their son had a frog stapled to his face and was trying to eat his ice cream on a swing, but he had no arms so he dropped his ice cream into the street and he chased after his ice cream and got hit by a bus

thumb_up thumb_down +18

knock knock, Whos there ? ( runs away ) trololololololololol

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What was the pirates grade? Arrr That isn't a valid grade

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Roes are red, Violets are blue, This poem doesn't rhyme, You're entire family has died. The plane that they were on went down due to a flock of geese getting sucked into the engine. They were visiting you for your twenty fifth birthday and wanted to surprise you. there were no survivors.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did Martian Luther King climb the mountain? Because there was a KFC on top

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A father and son are involved in a car crash. The father is killed, sadly, but the boy is rushed to the hospital. The doctor prepares for surgery, and since this boy has no family-connections to her, she performs successful surgery on him, and the boy goes home after 3-5 days.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Knock knock Who's there? 7. And if that's you in there, 6, you better start praying.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What did the man get from killing his own wife and children? A boner.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What did the you know what screw this I'm sick of making these stupid jokes there all the same. Hang on hang on What did the pirate do to the dog yes This style of joking is so different I'm going to be a famous comedian oh wait there's a whole bloody website full of these. O look another one and another one and another one that knife over there looks really nice right now

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Guy 1: That's what she said! HAHAHA!!! Guy 2: That's what who said? Guy 1: I don't know. :/

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Want to hear a dead baby joke? Abortion

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Q:What did the slut have in her mouth? A: teeth.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A blonde walks into a store and asks for the microwave behind the counter. The man behind the register promptly hands her the microwave and charges her $435 for it, which is utterly ridiculous.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

I like my coffee the same way I like my women: without a penis!

thumb_up thumb_down -18

why does clive keep getting crunk? because no girl satisfies him as much as geros

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Help, this is an urgent message from the S.S. Obesity. We're sinking; I can't imagine why.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One's fun to hit with a sledgehammer and the other is a watermelon.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Q: What do you get if you cross a kangaroo with a sheep? A: A genetic aberration that is an insult to both God and man.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Yo Mama so stupid because she's been addicted to marijuana since she was a teenager, and has lost many brain cells. Resulting in her forgetting simple things like your birthday, her own name, etc. She has also developed lung cancer. She's predicted to die in two months if she continues to smoke as she does now.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

what do you call a dog with no legs? doesnt matter what you call him, he aint coming!

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

whats worse than someone blowing out all your birthday candles? a piano dropping on your head.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the chicken cross the road? So he could walk into the mall and kill hundreds of innocent lives and leave thousands wounded.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops