What did the mother say to her child that was washing the dishes? "Sweep the floor."

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What do you call a fly without wings? A rather unfortunate physical disability

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What did the black fire-fighter do when the house caught fire? The heroic man ran inside and got every animal and person inside to the out side and then proceeded to extinguish the flames with his fire-extinguisher out, thus saving most of the families valuables. He was then awarded a raise in his salary for his heroic valor. Although any fire-fighter could have done this because of the hard work and dedication that is put into training. So really describing the race that this heroic man is was totally pointless.

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Why does your mother not love you anymore? Because she was in a tragic car accident 5 years ago and is now deceased and is therefore incapable of love.

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Don't chop the dinosaur daddy! OK.

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Gullible is not in the dictionary Yes it is

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Q: What would you think if a homeless person asked, "Spare change for drugs and cigarettes?" A: At least he was being honest.

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62

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What is harder than Jenga? Being a quadraplegic.

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How many Norwegians does it take to change a light bulb? Only one. But all the replacements are high-tolerance, long-life and non-dimmable.

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What did one pig say to the other pig while sitting in the bathtub? No thanks I already have a typewriter.

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Why did the cow cross the road? To get to the slaughter house

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5

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a gun, Get in the van.

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penis

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what did spiderman say before he saved mary jane? ill save you mary jane.

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Why did the gorilla fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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GIVE

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--IT'S PEANUT BUTTER JELLY TIME!! --no it isn't. a clock only has numbers 1-12 for hours and 1-60 for minutes. "peanut butter jelly" is not in any of those number sets. what are you taking about?

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99 bottles of beer on the wall, 99 bottles of beer, take one down pass it around, 98 bottles of beer on the wall. 10 minutes into the song one man succumbs to alcohol poisoning.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Q: what comes after 69? A: 70

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Q: How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: 1

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Why was the girl crying when she got home? She got raped and mugged on the walk home

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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