What did the Jews say before they got of the bus? Let's make like a Jewish kid's forskin and get the hell out of here.

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Whats red and hurts when you bite into it? A brick.

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What did one deaf mute say to the other deaf mute?

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What's worst then leaving a public toilet when you just took a shit and the toilet is now clogged Realising that the maid was waiting for you to get out to clean the toilet...

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What should you say when someone says a bad joke? I'm sorry, your joke cannot be completed as dialed. Please hang up and don't try again.

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A young Asian boy got a B on his test. He went home an showed his parents even though he was nervous of their reaction. They told him that a B was a good grade and put it on the fridge. After that he began to gradually flunk each class one by one because of his parent's inability to push him to be better. He is now homeless and an alcoholic.

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Why was the Energizer Bunny arrested? He was found guilty of two acts of murder in the first degree.

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A man with Alztheimers walks into a bar. He forgets the purpose of being there.

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A blind man walks into a bar. I mean a fence.

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a duck walks into a restraunt.and the waiter asks "what would you like?" a quacker (like cracker)

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What happened at the finish line of the marathon? People collapsed in exhaustion, it was a marathon.

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KONY 2012! *world rises up cheering in spontaneous patriotism for Africa* Leader of KONY 2012 arrested for public masturbation

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "I have a gambling problem."

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that wall over there ->

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What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? The wheelchair.

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What do you get when you cross a Shake Weight with Parkinson's Disease? You get a sentence that doesn't explain the end of the joke and leaves you without any closure.

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Yo mama so fat,we are all very concerned for her health.

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hey i just met you and this is c r a z y , but im a pirate so call me matey ;)

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yo momma so fat, Bob's furniture store is having a sale on wednesday at 5:00.

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A squirrel walks up to a tree and says, "I forgot to store acorns for winter and now I am dead."

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A man walks into a bar and says "ow"; he stepped on a nail sticking up through one of the floorboards. He then sues the bartender for a large sum of money because of the injury he sustained, and causes the bartender to lose everything he owns in order to pay off his debt.

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Why does a ginger have no friends? Because it is a non sentient horizontal stem used for seasoning food, and thus incapable of forming complex social and emotional bonds with conscious organisms.

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Why is cancer a big thing? -It has grown after the diagnoses

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A man wakes up in his bed and looks at the clock. He realises he is gonna be late for work. He quickly gets out of bed, into the bathroom, has a shower, puts his deodorant on and brushes his teeth, gets dressed, and goes in his car. He drives out of his garage and drives to his work but gets stuck in traffic. He then gets to the car park of his work and parks his car. He gets out, goes up the elevator to his floor, when the elevator door opens to his floor, he quickly says hello to Terrance and goes to his bosses office. And guess what the boss says? You're late.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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