Rishi has popcorn while wass n jess r making jokes on anti jokes

What did the downs syndrome say when he walked into the bar? 'nbgzsbjndjgtbnsuzhvcghvdhjdtv.' He has downs syndrome

Roses are red, Violets are red, Shrubs are red, Trees are red, Holy shit my garden's on fire!

Limerick There once was a man from mass whos balls were made out of brass he clank them together to make stormy weather and lightning came out of his ass

I have the answer to why the child stepped on a ball-he was dumb

A Jew walks into a bar. He quickly works on treating the injuries he had received from hitting his head against the bar when he had walked into it.

Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? You would too if your name was mmfmffemuuuuuffuummuuuuuluuu.

Why did the shark put on a dress? She was getting ready for prom.

What was the pirate movie rated? It was rated R for its graphic depiction of the continuing violence in Somalia.

What happened to the cow that couldn't moo? It died because it could not make it's needs known to it's fellow herd and was bullied and isolated.

Neo Nero, why did you not tell me that Nero7 is dead? When was the funeral held? Where is he buried? At point Zero? Please I need to know, he was basically my father, or rather all that my father never was, at least I dont have to wonder if he will ever come back... I understand your anger, even if I am not even close to following your extreme ideals, please tell me the code, the proof that you are not one of the Spetznas or the Nazi`s. "Eliza"

What happens when you bite the head off of two animal crackers and make them play leap frog? Nothing. Quit playing with your food.

What does Helen Keller's parents do when she gets in trouble? They leave the plunger in the toilet!!!

Which came first, The chicken or the egg? Well, Firstly, I suppose that depends on if we are discussing Creation or Evolution. If we are talking about Evolution, The Chicken must Logically have evolved from an egg laying creature, one which was similar to, but not quite a chicken, so, the first chicken hatched from the egg of said creature. However, if we are discussing Creation, there is no way to discern which the deity in question decided to create first, so, even odds. Therefore, Logically, there is a 75% chance the Egg came first. However, if we are discussing Chicken Eggs Specifically, the reverse is true, because the egg the first Chicken hatched from would not have been a chicken egg, it would have been the egg of another creature, a "proto-chicken" if you will. and so, in the evolution scenario, the Chicken came first. Still, in this situation, there are even odds as to which a creator may or may not have created first. Therefore, Logically, in this Scenario, there is a 75% chance that the Chicken came first

Wanna know a secret? I didn't read or agree to the terms and services

A girl asks her mother, "Mummy, why am i called Rose?" "Because when you were 1 day old a rose petal landed on your head." Another girl asked her mother, "Mummy, why am i called Daisy?" "Because when you were 1 day old a daisy landed on your head" "alualualualalughghphphpphphp" "Shut up fridge"

What do you call 10 old black people in a barn? Used farm equipment

How do black men eat chicken? Chicken goes in bone come out.

whats worse then a truck full of babies? if it went off a cliff into a canyon full of knives.

Whats cooler than being cool in High School? Nothing, now take a hit...everyone's looking

What? Huh?

Hitler: Ve shud vork togeza and place stategic bombs overr your island. Castro: You are dead.

If a quiz is quizzical, what's a testicle?

What do you say if you see your TV floating in the middle of the night? Wow, I need to lighten up on the acid.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...