What did the Joker say to Batman? Why are we wearing these stupid costumes

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What did the spoon say to the other spoon? Nothing, it is a spoon.

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A drunk man is that last one inside a very popular bar. He passed out on the counter before he ordered a drink. The bartender is angry at a sale lost, which would have been his millionth sale before closing time on the 1000th day of business. He goes home and hangs himself.

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An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman walk into a bar. They have a pleasant evening as they talk to each other about their day over a relaxing drink.

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An Englishman, and Irishman and a Scotsman are on a plane. The plan is carrying too much weight, and is destined to crash. They drop the luggage, but there is still too much weight on board. They drop the secondary engine, but there is still too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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Why did the grandmother lock her grandson in the closet? Because she didn't love him.

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Why did the man buy a rope? Because he needed a noose

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If you eat a brussel sprouts-and-ketchup sundae, your tastebuds will likely turn purple and move to France, where people don't eat brussel sprouts-and-ketchup sundaes.

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So you keep your knowledge sharp do you? When it comes to hypnosis and such?

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a grasshopper walks into a bar the bartender says hey we have a drink named after you the grasshopper says what dave?

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Technically rainbows are white.....and have gold at the end.

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Why did the Asian boy drop his milk? Because he had a stroke.

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How did the American man get the Mexican man to jump over the wall? He didn't, after several attempts he then got a ladder and climbed over.

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Hey, is that your corvette. No I thought it was yours.

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The funniest thing happened in my dream last night, i dreamed that banks would stop ripping people off and start treating people like humans. How wierd is that :D

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Knock Knock Who's there? The electrician, I'm here to fix your door bell.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It felt like it, no particular reason. Why did the hippo cross the road? Same reason as the chicken. Why did the Fred cross the road? He was with animal control, and a chicken and hippo had just been reported to cross this dangerous stretch of highway.

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What did the bartender say to the fat guy? Hi

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want to hear a joke? then go ask someone else i dont know any.

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If John has 50 candy bars and eats 45, what does he have? Diabetes. John has diabetes.

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Knock Knock? Who's there? bob bob who? the builder

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I'm really drunk so show me your tits.

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Q: Whats worse than 17 babies in 1 bin. A: 1 baby in 17 bins. Q: Whats worse than that. A: 17 bins in 1 baby.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? A mechanical wheelchair.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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