Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato.

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A kid is Jackin off and his dad walks in and says if you keep jackin off you will loose your sight. the kid says dad im over here.

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whats brown and sticky? a four week dead uunborn african child...

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When is it ok to drink urine? When you're Bear Grills

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Me: Wanna play a game of red light and as I get closer to you, you get to call red light?? girl: Yea! okay, go! girl: green light!! Me: Sorry, firetrucks don't stop for red lights

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A duck walks passed a lemonade stand.

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Does Geico really save you 15% or more on car insurance? No, it's a scam.

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Roses are red violets are red bushes are red oh shit my garden is on fire

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Knock knock! Who's there? Bob Hi bob, come inside. And next time just use the doorbell

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What's 9+10? 19

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Why did the black basketball team beat the white basketball team? They practiced more

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whats the hardest part about eating a vegitable getting your mouth around the wheelchair.

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whats long and hard and full of seamen a penis

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Why did the girl lose her appetite She was stabbed repeatedly with a switch blade.

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A 16 year old girl went into a bar. The police realized she did not have an ID, and arrested her.

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What do Justin Bieber and Eminem have in common? They both need to get a life. I lied about Eminem.

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Why did the baby die? Lack of oxygenated blood to the brain.

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Why couldn't the boy see? He was dead

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What did the girl with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Raped

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What's the difference between a dead black man in the road, and a dead dog in the road? One is a human being that probably leaves behind family and friends that will miss his absence. The other is an animal that will also be missed, but to a lesser degree since dogs don't form a bond with people other than the family it shared its life with. In either of the two cases, if I witnessed the accident that caused the death, I would promptly notify the authorities so as to make sure that the driver of the vehicle that hit them would be subjected to a breathalyzer test.

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What did the Catholic Priest say to Chris Hanson? Nothing. He attempted to flea, and was quickly taken down by law enforcement. He was then detained and processed and charged with Intent to commit statutory rape with a minor under the age of 14. He's still awaiting trial.

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What's the difference between a Mexican and a bench? One is a structure used to support sitting people, the other is a human being native to Mexico.

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i jack off in the school bathroom #yolo -toby limbers

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I heard you like getting dirty, so I got a dump truck to dump dirt on your bed so you can get dirty while you get dirty.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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