What did Robin do in between crime fighting? He had a paper route.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's worse than getting shot? Getting shot twice.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

I'm so hot my father calls me son.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Why wouldn't the girl clean her room? She was paralyzed.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

If Jimmy had 5 apples and his brother had 5 apples then their father would have been married to their mother before they were born.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Paul howley can't drive, phahahaha

thumb_up thumb_down +43

What do you call an Arab flying a plane? A pilot. *BOOM* Never mind, he was a terrorist.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why was the guy not asleep Because he was awake

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Hey look i just made a jo... shit.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

"Good Morning, I'm Dr. Pepper" "Like the drink?" "Huh... yes... just like the drink" Would you mind to sit right here Mr..... "Nike" "Oh, just like the shoes" "How do you dare!"

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A man wakes up after only one hour of sleep due to his insomnia. He starts to cry because his wife just passed away and his parents were recently killed in a car accident. The man gathers his composure, takes a shower, and drives to his minimum wage job. He was expelled from high school for an assault he didnt even commit and has no money to get an education. At work, he accidentally drops a box of valuable, fragile electronic parts and gets fired by his boss. He goes home to his dirty 1 bedroom apartment and contemplates suicide. He decides to wait as his favorite tv show is on. He turns on the tv to the news his show has been cancelled. The man, depressed, suicidal and alone, picks up his .22 and kills himself. There is no God.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q: why did the cookie go to the doctor??? A: because he was sick

thumb_up thumb_down -23

A paralyzed person walks into a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What happened to the boy after he ate a piece of Halloween candy? He died. It was laced with cyanide.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

How many ADHD kids does it take to change a light bulb? Let's go ride our bikes!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you give the person who has everything? A 20$ gift voucher

thumb_up thumb_down

i like your face... HAHAHAHAH just kidding you make me want to projectile vomit.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How did you know it was bedtime at Michael Jackson's house? When his clock's big hand met the little hand, usually at 10 or 11, though sometimes later if he had a concert that night.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Is this the krusty Crab? No you idiot this is a phone!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Knock knock! Knock knock!! Knock knock!!! Knock knock!!!! WHOSE THERE! Wait its a woodpecker

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Knock knock Who is there Banana Banana who Knock knock Who's there Banana Banana who Knock knock WHO'S THERE orange ...orange who Orange you glad I'm a cop here to tell you your family died in a horrible mask murdering and didn't say bannana again?

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did the unicorn say to the horse? I have a horn and you don't.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

What did the woman say when her boyfriend asked her to marry him? Idk my bff jill.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Uh, if I say that I am that girl, am I going to be safe?

thumb_up thumb_down

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops