whats the difrence between santa clause and a jew santa goes down the chimney

thumb_up thumb_down -29

A Great White Shark eats a baby seal's mother. Great White Sharks don't feel remorse.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

A White, Black, Hispanic, and an Asian man are stranded on a deserted island. They become best friends, proving race should not be a divisive factor in any community.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Whats a welfare? Its what keeps you alive.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

There are two muffins in an oven neither can say anything at the moment, however, because both are in excruciating pain.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

A Muslim walked into a bomb shop. Turns out he was in the wrong store so he left and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down +1,787

What did the mute man say to the president? Nothing, he is mute

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why was the man white? Because he wasn't black.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because it is humanly impossible to draw a perfect circle.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

If Chuck Norris has $5 and you have $5, you both have the same amount of money

thumb_up thumb_down +2,127

What's the thing that freaks guys out the most? When you're about to have sex with a girl and it turns out she had a penis and it's bigger than yours

thumb_up thumb_down +4

I couldn't afford haircuts so I purposely contracted cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +757

What do u call an anorexic with a yeast infection? -a quarter pounder with cheese. (not really anti-joke, im a girl and thought this was funny lol)

thumb_up thumb_down -2,865

Why am I righting in english? Because this is an english site.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

knock knock who's there? the milk man the milk man who? the milk man who brings your milk every morning

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A man came home one day, drunk and feeling horny. He proceeded to the bedroom where he found his wife just getting into bed in a lace bra and sexy underwear. This turned him on even more so he cuddled up to her and whispered seductivly in her ear before kissing her neck. His wife was not in the mood for sex so she shot him

thumb_up thumb_down +8

- Why did the man with the big pocket get arrested in Utah? - Because adultery is illegal in Utah.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you get when you cross the motorway with a lottery ticket? You get knocked down and killed.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why is Scientology the Fastest Growing Religion of 21st Century? It isn't, its a cult.

thumb_up thumb_down +2,227

What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a brand new Ferrari? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Nicki Minaj walks into a bar... there's no punchline because ruining music isn't funny.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Womens Rights

thumb_up thumb_down +2

yo momma so fat... she went on a calorie controlled diet and lost 3 stone, she's a really nice lady too.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops