Mr. Wonder, optimism is seeing the glass as half full, pessimism as seeing the glass half empty, and realism as not seeing the glass at all.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Balls

thumb_up thumb_down -13

why did the plane crash? because the pilot was a loaf of bread

thumb_up thumb_down +23

There once was a plain Cheerio. He has a decent life with a low paying job and an apartment. One day, he decided to make his life more fun and started going to parties. He met some women and had a good time. He was happier and was soon promoted at work. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself, only to discover that he was now a Honey-nut Cheerio. He continued to go to parties and met a girl that eventually became his girlfriend. He became a manager at work and moved into an expensive condo. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself and was a Frosted Cheerio. He then quit his job and opened a club, where he became the most popular Cheerio in town. All guys wanted to be him, girls with him. At one party, his girlfriend asked him for some punch. He went to the kitchen but couldn't find any. There was no punch-line.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

How is a frog similar to a corn dog? They both have really long tongues, except for the corn dog

thumb_up thumb_down -3

How much does a polar bear weigh? About 800 pounds

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Your mother is so poor she doesn't have any money!

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Chantelle, I loved you, but you cheated with Johnathan from Church...

thumb_up thumb_down -2

read down and see what it is like BEFOR MARRIAGE boy:at last.i can hardly wait! girl:do you want to leave me? boy:NO! dont even think about it! girl:do you love me? boy:ofcourse! always girl:have you ever cheated on me? boy:NO! why are you even asking? girl:will you kiss me ? boy:every chance i get! girl:will you hit me ? boy:hell no! are you crazy ? girl:can i trust you? boy:yes! girl:darling!! read up again and see what it is like AFTER MARRIAGE (L.W)

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q )Why did the black man shoot the white man? A )The black man had been walking home from his weekly gospel service at the local church when suddenly the criminal had stopped him in his tracks. In a desperate attempt to save himself he seized the gun from the white man and shot him in the leg in order to defend himself. He survived.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

what is the difference betweeb 69 and 77? 8

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Snape dies. ^ Spoiler Alert tarelona major

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's clear and wet?? Water (I think)

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why didn't the 9-year-old girl go to school on monday? Because she lived in a country where women don't have rights and was traded as a commodity for 2 pigs to be a wife for a 43 year old man.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Safe sex MR

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Yo mamma's so fat she attracts other matter with a force proportional to the product of their masses divided by the square of the distance.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

XD, Okay, but you gotta marry me too XD Its working again I am skipping class tonight, how about you come by uh, the day after tomorrow? And bring condoms I don't have any.

thumb_up thumb_down

Wife says to husband, who works is programmer, "Honey get out of bed there is a bug in the bed". Husband says "ok."

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the boy jump off the building? To get to the bottom.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

why did the man jump out of the plane without a parachute? Im not really sure, maybe to commit a slow and painful suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

How do you make your mom mad? Burn down the house and eat the dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

23

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A homophobic man walks into a bar and the bartender asks: "what can I get for ya" the man replies: "whisky."

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why was Hellen Keller blind and deaf? Because she was a girl.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops