Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the seat next to you? A: Whatever his name happens to be.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

"Horse walks into a bar. Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from. So, you should probably leave."

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Roses are red Violets are red I'm bleeding quite profusely and should probably go to the hospital.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Whats the difference between a dog and a bird? They both fly

thumb_up thumb_down +9

why does my face bleeding theres an axe in it

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What did the tractor say to the cow? I'm a tractor, you're a cow, go figure.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

what would you watch during a scary movie? anything you want.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did the Jew get for Christmas? Nothing. Jewish people celebrate Hanukkah

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What did the apple say to the carrot? Nothing, apples don't talk

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why would a dog sniff another dog's butt hole? Because that is what they do.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

four nazis are walking towards this jew. as soon as the first nazi came in arms reach of the jew he and his friends started to maliciously hug the jew.......................................and then 20 years later they killed his family.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Guy at computer: My computer won't turn on. Help desk Guy: Did you try restarting. Guy at computer: No. The help desk guy hangs up and the guy at the computer proceeds to cry because he has failed.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Your mama is so fat she has to buy plus sized clothes.

thumb_up thumb_down +273

what do you say when you wake up in the middle of the night and see your tv floating thats odd.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did the baby say to the banana? -- "mama!"

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A dirty joke: The white horse fell in the mud.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

There was a man with a job and kids. One day he came home from his job and went to sleep. He never woke up because it turns out he had a heart attack.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did Stevie Wander get for christmas? A book

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Three men stood before Saint Peter at the pearly white gates. They were then sent straight to Hell for committing mass suicide in hopes of reaching a higher state of being through a device located on a meteor.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

You are such a loner nothing even clings to you, not even plastic wrap!!

thumb_up thumb_down +28

where did suzie go when the bomb hit her?? Everywhere

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the turtle take so long on his run? Because he never went on a run he walked.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

I love you

thumb_up thumb_down -27

I was gonna make a joke about a my dick... Racecar

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops