Why does an Irish cop wear a belt? To hold up his pants.

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Why does the man leave the store, with two lemons in his shopping bag? Because lemons happened to be one of the items of food he had purchased.

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What do you call a black man repairing a car? A mechanic who has worked very hard to gain his qualifiaction.

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A horse walks into a bar. The barman says why the long face. The horse, unable to understand English shits on the floor and leaves

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Q: What did the dumb blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios? A: Look! Donut seeds!

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Why couldn't santa eat cookies and milk at little Jimmy's house? He has diabetes and is unable to stray from a strict diet prescribed by his local doctor.

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible to try out for his school's football team. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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Q. Why was the blonde fired from the M+M factory? A.She was addicted to meth.

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Question: What did Mr. Reeves say. Answer: Nothing

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Why did the plane crash into a mountain? Because a Banana was flying it, and Bananas can't fly planes.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is dead.

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How many times has Susie fallen off the swing? Not enough.

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A man walked into a bar, therefore beginning a lifetime of alcoholism that would slowly tear his family apart.

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What just hit my face? The floor

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Your momma is so stupid Her iq must be below 50

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Don't you just hate it when somebody is saying something interesting and they don't finish their sentence?

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2 people with ADD are playing baseball. One of them pitches to the other guy and the other guy swings his arms around, misses, then gets hit by a baseball bat. The batter then realized he was the pitcher and the other guy has gone off chasing after a bird that just flew by.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bar.

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Why does annie put 2 balls together? bacuse its makes a BUTT! oo

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how do you save a car from falling out of an airplane? I don't know.

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Guy 1 : "I like your hat." Guy 2: "That's my hair, you moron."

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What do you call three black men in a car? One driver, and two passengers.

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Why didn't little billy have any friends? Billy bought a rifle, and shot everyone he had ever seen or talked to, even his family. Billy then tripped on his walk home and fell off a bridge, and into the ocean. Then a shark came and swallowed him. That is why you should never kill your friends and family because it will come back and bite you. Don't be like billy

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Q: Why is it when geese fly in a V that one side is longer than the other? A: There are more geese on that side.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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