Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Bob: why didthe chicken cross the road? Tom: why? Bob: to get to your house Knock knock Tom: whos their Bob: the chicken

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A guy walked up to me and said "I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam, I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam." I promptly informed the authorities. He was transported to a mental institution and I later learned that he swallowed his own tongue and died. Nobody attended his funeral.

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There are two jews in an oven. One says "It sure is hot in here" and the other says "AHH A TALKING JEW"

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Q. What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A. Where's my tractor?

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Doctor Doctor I keep thinking I`ve got a car behind me. Don`t worry about that you have aids.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being molested by a giant octopus.

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Roses are red Violets are... The poem was never finished due to the fact that the reader had narcolepsy and promptly fell asleep.

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why did your parents die? because I thought it was funny...

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This guy was walking down the street and a homeless guy asked him for money. The guy said "Why don't you get a job?" So the homeless guy began to cry because all he wanted was a dime not to be humiliated.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Jehovah's witness Damn...

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A Pole walks into a bar and gets annexed by Germany.

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Why did the child laugh at the anti-joke? Because it was funny

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Why did the young woman have a sore vagina? Because she just experienced intercourse for the first time and her partner was not as gentle as he should've been, given the situation.

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What's worse than a duck with one leg? A nuclear explosion

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How can you tell if a man is choking? Stick a fridge down his throat

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A man. That is all.

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What's Blue And Fat? A Brick. I like to lie a lot.

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what do you call a small midget? a smidget.

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What do you call a scottish drunk? a taxi

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Knock knock. Who's there? Open the fucking door. Open it! This is a fucking robbery. This is not a fucking joke. Get down on the ground. Shut that baby up. Shut that fucking baby up! Now! Get on the fucking ground or I swear to Christ I will fucking end your life. Tell the kids to go to their room. Do it. Do it, you fucking bitch! Where's the fucking jewelry? You got any money stashed anywhere? Come on, I know it's here. Keys? Your husband got any guns? Give me everything valuable or I swear to god, I will fucking murder you in front of your son. The woman was brutally raped for hours.

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Why did Billy fall off his bike? He tried to kill himself.

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what black and white and read all over? a woman who has just been beaten and raped covered in semen.

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When life gives you lemons, Commit felonies

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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