what is green, blue with spots all over? A frog with chicken pox

thumb_up thumb_down +10

penis

thumb_up thumb_down +12

how do you get a cow in the fridge? Open the fridge, and insert. How do you get a kangaroo in the fridge? Take the cow out and insert What animal is not in the lion king? kangaroo --WHY hes still in the fridge

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Knock knock Who's There Doctor Doctor Who? Wrong, it's Dr. Doozer, you have AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down -91

So a girl says "I want to be a banana when I grow up". She's set unrealistic goals and her parents fear she may be autistic.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Today i decided to burn calories, so I grabbed my lighter from the counter and put it in my pocket and proceeded to the treadmill.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

what does 1 out of 15 people get cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What's as bad as doing something you don't like? Doing another thing you don't like

thumb_up thumb_down +62

What goes down well with whiskey? Pedestrians

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How do you drown a blonde? Weigh her down and throw her into a body of water.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What is white and hard to catch? A refrigerator

thumb_up thumb_down -22

planned on writing you all an antijoke decided i wouldn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +55

Why was the baby crying? He saw a nigga

thumb_up thumb_down -22

-What's sad about four black guys driving off a cliff? -They were my friends.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

what did the book say to the lamp? nothing because BOOKS CANT TALK

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why did the little girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Whats a good source of iron? A piece of iron.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Q: why did the chicken cross the road A: you are adopted

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Koalas mum is a slut

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Q: You and a thousand other people are suddenly bursting in flames at a park, there is a big barrel of water just a few steps away from you, what do you do in order to save the people that truly matter? A: Stop drop and roll, duh!

thumb_up thumb_down -25

A blonde enters a bar and orders an elevator.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why did the toddler fall over? He's an Iraqi child and has been shot in both legs, being readied for a public execution for fighting on the opposing side.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

One day three men died. Heaven had almost been full, and he wanted to see who could get in and who would burn. So the first man starts and says "well I just got home from my girlfriends house, she just dumped me. I was crazy mad, and as I was about to eat the pain away, I saw a man hanging off of my porch. I ran to the man pulled out a sledge hammer, and then smashed his hands off the balcony. And without thinking I picked up my refrigerator and threw it down at him. But sadly I fell with the refridgerator." the second man steps up and says.. "I was doing my dance routine on my porch, and I slipped on an ice cube and flipped off the rail. I took ahold of a railing on which I could puulmupmtomsaftey on, but as I was about to save my own life some psychotic man comes out with a sledge hammer and bashes my hands off the railing. After he threw his refridgerator down at me." and then the third guy says..."well I was in this refridgerator........."

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops