How do you kill the circus? You chop it's head off.

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sticks and stones may break my bones but hemophilia will make me bleed to death

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How do you get a blonde out of a tree? Shoot her in the head.

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Why can't the man get a good jod? Because he did not go to college and there for did not get a good education.

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Bob: You need to push harder? Tom: Oh wow what a coincidence, that is what my wife said last night. They laugh about the irony of the situation and then return to the task at hand

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What is similar between a horse and a zebra? - If you chopped of there heads, they would die.

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Why do black people cuss so much? Because f#*% you.

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Why did Mia fall off of Lucy's bike? Because Lucy didn't like Mia and shot her in the face.

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Roses are red. Violets are black. Why is your chest, As flat as my back?

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Yo mama so fat she went on a diet and steadily lost wait

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mary poppins' handbag is full of dick

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It was at the war and there was a camp site where a doctors helped injured soldiers. One soldier comes in the door and holds his arm. The doctor says "You got shot in the arm?" He says yes. Then another soldier walks in the door and holding his shoulder. The doctor says "You got shot in the shoulder?" He says yes. Then another soldier walks in the door and was dragging his left leg across the floor. The doctor says "You got shot in your leg?" The soldier says "No, I stepped on dog shhhttt."

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one fish two fish red fish kill the fish

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What do you call an awesome school? St Heinrich's Law School (Teaching you to break the laws!)

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse says, "I have cancer."

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She look like Ms. Universe and I'm bout to be in that black hole

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What's the difference between a lion and a stuffed lion? One is for children to play with, one will eat you alive.

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Q: What has eyes but can't see, has arms but no hands and legs but no feet A: a blind man with his hands and feet amputated with cancer

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Yesterday I told a chemistry joke. There was no reaction.

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What is the meaning of life? 42

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Adam Claypool walks into a bar. He immediately sucks the bartender's dick because he is the biggest queer anyone has ever seen

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What was the tallest mountain before Mount Everest was discovered? Mount Everest

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How do you get four gay guys on a bar stool? With teamwork and coordination, each could place one foot on the seat, and they can all stand up using each other for balance and support. The fact that they are gay in unimportant.

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what's the worst part of your kid dying the clean up

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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