You can pick your friends, you can pick your nose, but you can't rob a bank. That's a felony.

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What's red and hurts you? A brick.

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Where do you find a dog? At a pet store.

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What kind of jokes to dairy farmers tell? Corny jokes.

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Q: Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? A: Because she was a woman.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, What else is new?

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What's the differences between oranges? Trees don't have doors.

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a man is running away

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The internet is the most terrible fucking place in existence.

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Obama says: I can throw one 1,000 dollar bill out the window and make one person really happy Michelle says: I can throw ten 100 dollar bills out the window and make ten people really happy The Co-Pilot says: I can throw you both out the window and make 250,000,000 people really happy tee-hee

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A lawyer gets admitted to a bar.

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Friends are like snowflakes, they go away when you pee on them.

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People made fun of a plant for walking into a bar. Little did they know it hadn't been watered for days.

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How do you make a baby cry? You throw bricks at its face.

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What do you call an art history major with a job? A gainfully employed member of society, who assuredly benefited from his access to higher education (and quite possibly from acquaintances or family members within the company that employs him, though it is often considered impolite to mention this latter fact, as it may be construed to denigrate the aforementioned individual or his chosen field of study).

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What does a Jew do when he sees a masked man at his door? He grabs a phone to alert the police and hides in his bedroom.

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Q: Whats worse than having a dead car battery? A: Going to prison and getting raped by a black guy

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Why did the Turkey cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken

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Thre jews walk into a bar i lied it was a gas chamber

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Ben is gay

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What did Ann Frank say when she dropped her icecream Nothing because she was captured by Natzis

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Two Girls One Cup

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What do a fish and a frog have in common? They can both live in water. Its a well known fact.

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Why did the Koala fall out of the tree? Cause it was dead. Why did the second Koala fall off the tree? Cause it was also dead. Why did the third Koala fall off the tree? It thought the other two were playing a game. Why did the motorcyclist end up in the hospital? He was attacked by falling Koalas!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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