What did the fridge say to the watermelon? Nothing.

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As an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, "If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman." She removes all her clothing and asks, "Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?" A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, "Here, iron this!".

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What did Osama Bin Laden say before was captured? nothing the U.S. military slit his throat on site

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Q: What's black and blue and is all over Timmy's mother? A: The bruises his father gave her when he came home drunk.

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What did one lawyer say to the other? Your son's coming to my son's birthday party, right?

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? A. Spot

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Try this on your friends and make them look dumb So a plane crashes on the border between the USA and Canada. Where do you bury the survivors? You don't bury the survivors.

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Who is the girl that has had sex with over 10 guys? Georgia Hidi

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a white van was driving really slow and he stopped in front 3 children. "do you want some candy" the old man said. the kids took the candy and the old man drove away happily, knowing he made someones day.

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my throat Really started to hurt, like reallly badly, and i remember On sponge bob, he laughed so much his laugh box broke. well, my throat really hurts. please help! can i get my laugh box back? will i never be able to laugh again and have to get it replaced like squidward did?!!? please answer, i have a friend who would probably give me part of her laugh box, but she Laughs like a hyena

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A duck flies into a bar. The bartender allows it to stay because it turns into a beautiful swan. The goose then lays a golden egg and the bartender stares in awe as a giant bean stalk grows out of the egg. He's ecstatic and really glad he let the flamingo stay with all the wonderful colors and magic going on.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Just smoked some Meth nelnfjknfkjnwkejnkjnwefkjnKJNFKJRNFKWNEFEJNFJNWKEJNWFKEJFN

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A cockroach walks into a bar. The bar seems to have a pest problem.

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A bear comes across some people on a camping trip. But he then promptly leaves, because bears aren't inherently aggressive unless caring for their young or if they are provoked.

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whats the difference between a baby and a watermelon ones a live the other isnt

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Why did the skeleton cross the road? It didn't. Anyone who would believe that is a complete moron.

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A man invented a time machine that didn't work. Because he wasn't a scientist, he was an ice cream man.

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A black man and a white man are in a car. Which one is driving? A person who is legally allowed and physically capable of operating and automobile.

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why did sally drown? because she had no arms or legs and couldn't swim.

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Dear 6, Please stop spreading rumors about me. I heard you do some pretty nasty things with 9. Sincerely, 7

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I road a horse to school. My friend stabbed it with a Javelin and screamed.... The horse was his Dad

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What happened to the lady with cancer?? She got shot!!

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What did the cake say to the icing? Come here

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What is brown red and white? I don't know, that's why I asked you

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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