A duck walks into a bar and the bartender says"What do u want?" The ducks replays "EVERY DAY IM SHUFFLING!!!" The bartender slaps the duck in its face and quid his job. The bar has a hard time finding a replacement and his business dies. THE END

Yo mama's so stupid.....................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................uh jk

When a blonde entered a bar, she ordered a something that was a double-entendre. The bartender understood what she was trying to say, gave her her order whatever alcohol she happened to consume, and the blonde woman could not have been more courteous.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 beat the crap out of 8.

Why is Santa's sack so big? His doctor recently diagnosed him with testicular cancer.

Women's Rights

If life throws you cars, you are probably on LSD.

what do you call it when everyone becomes tolerant about gender identity. whatever pronoun it prefers.

Two fish are in a tank. One says to the other, "You man the guns, i'll drive."

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got hit by a bus on the way over.

two scientists line up a frog at a line and tell it to jump it jumps 4 feet they cut off one front leg and tell it to jump it jumps 4 feet they cut off the other front leg and tell it to jump it jumps 4 feet they cut off a rear leg and tell it to jump it jumps 2 feet they cut off its last leg and tell it to jump it doesn't move they tell it to jump again it doesn't move the scientists come to a conclusion: frogs with no legs...cant hear

How do you catch an elephant? Dig a nice deep hole in the ground, and fill it with ashes. Next, line the outside of the hole with peas. When the elephant comes to take a pea, kick it in the ash hole.

Why can't Helen Keller have sex? She is dead

A man rode into town on Friday and stayed a while and then left on Friday how did he manage this?

Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Monkey see monkey do. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the second monkey.

Here come the elephants over the hill!

Why was Helen Keller a bad driver? Because she was blind and deaf.

When does a cat not land on its feet? When it has paws.

What do you call an armless legless man swimming? Dead

whats worse than the holocaust? 2 holocausts

Yo mamma so fat, she is going on a diet and is very sensitive about her weight.

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive a car? Because she was deaf and blind and would have been a hazard to herself and others.

version 2 knock knock, whose there FU CK FU CK who FU CK YOU

Ask me if I'm a horse. Are you a horse? No.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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