Two scientists are experimenting with sulfuric acid. One scientist says to the other, "Did you see the new intern?" In the process of turning to face the first scientist, the second scientist knocks the beaker over and spills sulfuric acid all over the first scientist's hand. The first scientist writhes in pain as the second scientist rushes to find a strong base to neutralize the burn. After a few minutes, the first scientist is rushed off to the emergency room and suffers from some serious chemical burns.

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What has 3 eyes, green fur and blue ears? Nothing.

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Dude, you're playing call of duty by yourself and in last place...HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE!!??

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So you all no Dora right, well why is she always lost in the forest wit her friend boots? Whats the deal with the map everybody knows maps cannot talk!!!!!!!!!!!! What the heck is wrong with the makers of the show!!!!!!!!

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What did the snowman put on his head? Nothing; snowmen are inanimate.

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This post contains NOTHING.

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What did the person do at the stop sign? Stop

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what did the turkey say on thanks giving? Nothing, he's dead, we ate him!

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What did the boy with no srms and no legs get for christmas? Cancer

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Why did they monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the monkey.

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What do you call a mulsim that tattles on you for vandilising muslim propaganda Target Practice

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What do you call a horse with wings and a horn on his head? Drunk

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Q:What did the hillbilly say when he lost his tractor? A: Where is my tractor

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How did the kid drop his ice cream cone? Ans. He got hit by a bus

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What did the frog order at McDonalds? Nothing, it's a frog.

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Why didn't Debbie go to the theme park with the rest of her family? Because she died the week before.

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friends are like snowflakes. if you piss on them they go away

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What do you call a man with a Club approaching a Seal Very Strong considering he can hold a building

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A man walks into a bar at 1 in the afternoon. He's the bartender and a fellow employee asked him to cover the afternoon shift.

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A white guy, a black guy, and a spanish guy jump off a building. They all die on impact and their families mourn their loss for years to come.

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What do you get when you cross sodium citrate, citric acid, benzyl alcohol, monoethanolamine, sodium benzoate, gylcol disterate, FD&C Yellow #5, ammonium lauryl sulfate, methylisothiazolinone, fragrances/perfumes, FD&C Blue #1, sodium chloride, zinc pyrithione, methylchloroisothiazolinone, ammonium xylenesulfonate, ammonium laureth sulfate, cetyl alcohol, cocamide, guar hydropropyltrimonium chloride, 1-Decene, homopolymer, hydrogenated, trimethylolpropane tricaprylate and water? Head & Shoulders Dandruff Shampoo for Fine-Oily Hair

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Three men are on a plane*. (*Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees a woman hysterically laughing. Intrigued, he inquires her jolly. She manages to state through her hysteria, "When me fart, me whole house blow up!"

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? SPONGEBO... nope bin laden

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Hi. Hello. I live in Iowa. Same. Im your neighbor. Same. I like corn. Same. Im gay. Same. HAHAHAHAHAHA gotcha! No i really am gay and the fact that you thought that was funny saddens me deeply.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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