An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. The bartender looks up and says "what is this, some kind of joke?!"

thumb_up thumb_down -21

How do you confuse a blond? Paint your self green and throw forks at her.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's worse than a papercut? Dying

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Two friends were running late for their school gathering. As they arrived the train station, one friend said 'Quick, we need to catch the train!' The other replied, 'Can't we just get in it?'

thumb_up thumb_down -8

roses are red, violets are blue my name is hitler, good bye jew

thumb_up thumb_down +27

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks: "why that long face?" The horse, being a horse, thus not being able to comprehend the complexities of a conversation, says nothing and then shits on the floor.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

who drinks pee? katness

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q. What time is your appointment with the Chinese dentist? A. 20 past 4

thumb_up thumb_down +26

How did the black kid drop out of highschool? He got bad grades.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

what do you call a fat black cat and a skinny white dog? Just two animals that are judged.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

why did the woman leave her husband? after years of mental and physical abuse she has decided to remove herself from the situation

thumb_up thumb_down +23

roses are grey violets are grey so says my color blind cousin

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A penguin walks into a bakery. The baker asks the penguin: What kind of bread would you like, brown or white? Penguins answers: Well, it doesn't really matter since I drove here.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do you get if you have 59 apples in your right hand and 74 pints of ice cream in your right? Large hands.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Q: whats worse than finding a worm in your apple A: the holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down -31

You know what's funny? Clowns.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why are girls large and round? Because they are raised by wild packs of oompa loompas.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

how do you know if a fish is gay? you ask it

thumb_up thumb_down +6

why are some people black? Because god decided there needs to be different people in the world therefore none are congruent

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Why did the black man actually receive an education. Because he is entitled to one as a citizen of the US. Frederick Douglass, at the twenty-third anniversary of the Emancipation Proclamation stated that "Education, the sheet anchor to a society where liberty and justice are secure, is a dangerous thing to society in the presence of injustices and oppressions...." Douglass knew that in order for black people in America to survive, they had to be educated because it was the one area that could make the weak person strong and the black person equal. By the time the modern day Civil Rights Movement started, its leaders already knew that education was knowledge, and that knowledge was power. In order for black people to gain their equality, they would have to have a solid foundation to stand on, and that foundation would be education.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why Did The Black Man Cry? KFC Went Bankrupt!

thumb_up thumb_down -19

why was the little girl crying? Because her family was dead

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What is black and white and red all over? A skunk in a blender.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops