whats wores than eating a vag. a gaint vag eating you.

What happened when a black lady sat in the front on a bus? She didn't vomit because she could see the road, which helped with her motion sickness. Also the driver got in a better mood because he had company, and the lady was a pleasant person.

how many babies does it take to paint a wall? it depends on how hard you throw them

A bishop died and went to heaven. At the Pearly gates he sees Saint Peter , so he says to Peter "All my life I've been a committed Christian, but I just before I died I was tempted by a woman of ill repute". Saint Peter says "This is just an illusion, your dying brain is merely conjuring up images based on your presuppositions of an 'afterlife'. You have about three seconds left"

An American, an Irish man, a Chinese man and a Black man walk in to a Bar, the Bartender takes their order

Why did the blond have a wierd look on her face? Because she was ugly

Why was Timmy crying? Because he got raped.

What's short, green, and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

Roses are red, Violets are blue. Go home and hang yourself.

If a white person and black person have a baby, what colour is the baby? Grey

Why did Muhammad pray to Jesus? Because he has low self esteem and didn't believe in himself.

Whats the differance between a blond and a rock? I don't know. I can't think of any.

The Arrowtongue commands the road like a semi-truck. But the Gyrosprinter corners on a dime.

What's worse that finding a worm in your apple? Half the holocaust

What did the homeless child get for Christmas? Leukemia

How do you make someone to go away from you? You rape them How do you get santa to not give you presents anymore? You rape him How do you get the easter bunny to stop coming to your house? Friend: you rape him? No, you ask him politly to leave.

Why did the boy fall of of his bicycle? He was hit by an asteroid.

whats black and white with red all over. something that's black and white with red all over.

Justin Bieber.

What's worst than getting glass stuck in your foot? Rubbing lotion on a fork.

Ever heard nobobys perfect well ill name my kid nobody therefore he will perfect

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I workout, Don't mess with me.

A burglar broke into a house one night. He picked up a CD player to place in his sack and a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark, saying, "Jesus is watching you." He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, he shook his head, clicked the light on, and began searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, he heard, "Jesus is watching you." Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. "Did you say that?" he hissed at the parrot "Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you." The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?" "Moses," replied the bird. "Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of people would name a bird Moses?" "Devout Semites," the parrot replied.

knock knock! whos there? me! me who? thats right! whats right? meehoo! thats what i want to know! whats what you want to know? me who? yes, exactly! exactly what? yes, i have an exactlywatt on a chain! exactly what on a chain? yes! yes what? no, exactlywatt! thats what i want to know! i told you--exactlywatt! exactly what? yes! yes what? yes, its with me! whats with you? exactlywatt--thats whats with me! me who? yes! Go away! knock knock.....

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...