Why did it take Da Vinci so long to paint the Sistine Chapel? Because it was painted by Michaelangelo.

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vatalk you are retarded!!!!!

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A jewish man walks into a bar, has a drink, and goes home to his wife.

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What do you call a flat-chested woman with a penis? A man.

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Two muffins are in an oven. One muffin says to the other muffin, "Sure is hot in here." The other muffin says, "AHHHH! A talking muffin."

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Having a giant, angry ape on steroids rip your heart out and eat it before your eyes as you painfully die from the unbearable pain and rapid blood loss.

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Ebola

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What did the scientist say to the postman? So your a postman?

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Whats worse than 10 dead babies in the street? 11 babies in the street.

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Q: What did Stevie Wonder eat for dinner last night? A: Something consumable

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What do you call a black man a asian man and a mexican man? 3 people

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test

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the story below is a truee story...unfortunately!!!!!!!!! :'(

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To mutilate the body of a Jewish girl that lay on the other side.

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Why can't Hellen Kelller drive? Because she's a woman.

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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Q: What do you call men at sea? A: Sailors

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Why did the little kid color outside the lines? He had Parkinson's Disease.

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Why did the blind man itch his knee? He has cancer

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Why do girls think they deserve the very best? Because if an ugly girl in twilight can find a hunky vampire and ripped werewolf why can't they. And let's not forget those crappy Disney princess movies.

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Two black guys walk into a bar the bartender says get out

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Do you know the reason people like sleeping? It's because they have good dreams. Ooh la la.--

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Why did the stop sign run a red light? Because it couldn't see its face...

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A horse walked into a bar and ordered a drink. It was nothing out of the ordinary because the Everett-Wheeler interpretation of quantum mechanics is correct and he lived in a parallel universe in which the roles of humans and horses are reversed.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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