How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Set an alarm for a reasonable hour.

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What did the man say to the orphan? No one loves you, you have no friends.

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What do you call a fly with no wings? A walk.

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two biscuits rolling down a hill one says, " where you from" the other replied "im not telling you, youl steal my washing"

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So a train conductor is going at 70 mph to to a destination 50 miles away. He goes over 3 hills, one at 20 mph, the other 42 mph, and the last at 63 mph. He crosses 2 bridges at 47 mph each. What did the train conductors mom eat for dinner that night Nothing she had cancer and died.

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Q: How can you tell when your selling a Blondel a microwave A: she will keep asking how many chandler the Tv gets

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just a man and his thoughts....and a smart phone app, and a loving family, thats not the point.

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whats the difference between a mexican and a bench? a beanch can support a family

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Knock knock! Who's there? The doorbell wasn't working.

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What happens when you mix a platinum blond with a black kid? A young african-american child with un-naturally died hair.

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A feminist walked into a bar and had her period

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I dislike old people.

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What did one deer say to the other? Nothing. The second deer was killed while they were eating and now the first deer is scarred dot life.

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Why did the boy die? He got shot in the face repeatedly.

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Go away nothing to see here,. I said go away

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roses are grey violets are grey im a dog

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Sunflowers are yellow, Daises are white.

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Why did the sperm swim back? cos he realised that he was in someones anus!

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why is this joke funny because your laughing

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You know what pansies remind me of? What? A flower

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If boobs are round. And so are balls. Then i just cant figure out why the sky is blue?

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HELP!!! I locked myself in my bathroom and can't get out! my laptop is running out of batteries!

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How do you get four gay guys to sit on one barstool? It's quite difficult, it would be easier to just get 3 more barstools.

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Why didn't the girl paint her nails white? Because in this society, that would be considered racist.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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