Why couldn't the cat drink his milk? Because his ears were stapled to the floor.

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What never seems to get old? AIDS.

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What's better then petting a lion? Petting a lion and not getting eaten

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Why did the waiter lose his job? Because he was a fish

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whats long, black, and smells like shit? a big turd

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What if I told you that our role our "little team" is not as little as you think?

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Why was the tomato blushing? It saw the salad dressing.

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What's the difference between 10 dead babies and a Lamborghini? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage..

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And if we met in 1780, I was a white southern aristocratic plantation owner and you were my dark skinned servant lady ... slave Whenever I could get away from the Mrs., I'd go to your shed and then I'd steal you kisses. But let's be serious, I'd still work you full time as a slave, there's a difference between romantic language and a complete disregard for socioeconomic trends.

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Why didn't the boy eat chocolate yesterday Because he was allergic.

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Where did Lucy go after being hit by a train? Well, the results of this question are somewhat difficult to pinpoint, but here is a generalized ratio model. 47% of Lucy went underneath the trains wheels and was left behind, crushed into the railway sleepers. 33% was thrown aside and discarded around the SIDES of the track. 19% was carried on the front of the train, into the next station where it fell off as soon as the train stopped. 1% was found in Mount Everest.

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What do 9 out of 10 people like? Gang rape.

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What did the American say to the Russian? Hello, but the Russian did not understand

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Whats the difference between a black man and a white man? the pigment in their skin.

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your momas so stupid she s going back to school to become a responsible adult

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what do you call a dead baby in a blender? child abuse

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Knock knock! "It's unlocked"

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Why did the monkey eat his own poop? Because there was minimal resources where he was so he resorted to eat his own fecal matter

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Knock knock Who's there? Jehovah's Witness

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why did the plane crash the pilot was Suicidal

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ok last night i found a pic of romney saying "if i win the election 8 million people will have no job" then Obama says hey romney now that i won the election it would be 8 million and one stupid.

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A simple country boy and a hugely attractive young blonde sit in the same train carriage. They exchange greetings and pleasentaries, but are quiet for the remainder of the journey.

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What can you use a broken watch for? A compass.

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Pickle!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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