Yo momma is so fat that she is overweight

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The body system was looking for a leader!? Heart - I am because I circulate the blood Brain - I should be because I control the body Liver - I should because I feed Anus - No, I am All laugh The anus held closed for seven days. The liver exploded the brain stewed and the heart stopped beating. Anus - Now, what am I?!

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Want to hear the funniest joke in the world? I forget how it goes but it ends with the abolishment of slavery.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the Batmobile? Robin, get into the Batmobile.

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Not lying Red, I have my contacts, I am a "facilitator", I pull strings for my employers, and sure the FBI has me on their files, after all we have cooperated with them. Not because I wanted to, but because its my job, and it helps me use the best of my abilities and limited education (I am technically an educated lawyer, and not an agent).

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How do you get rich? Cut chunks off a fat person with a cleaver and sell them to china.

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What do you call a guy that just shit himself? Me

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what did John do to make the cold weather a little less irritating? well, being a homeless man, John did..... nothing.

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Why was the man sad? He was molested as a child.

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what did hellen keller name her dog? answer: unnumnumnum

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How many fairies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two, but I don't know how they got in there.

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How many apples come from trees? None, not a single one of em'

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Q: Why was the gorrilla arrested? A: He broke a law.

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Q: What's black, white, and red all over? A: A horribly maimed zebra.

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If life gives you lemons.... Life is an abstract noun not a physical object so it can not give you lemons.

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What do 10 dead babies in a blender sound like? Idk because I was too busy masturbating.

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What would Ronald Reagan say if he was alive today? Nice to meet you my name is Ronald Reagan

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Male orgasm (haha bitches we've been faking it)

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What's white, black and tan? The people of planet earth.

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Why did Dean Jones talk to his car? Because it was Herbie the love bug , a car possessed by a demon that had voice recognition capabilities and thus could understand him

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Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

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Q: what is white and can't climb trees? A: A refrigerator

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Why Are Parking Lines White? - So You Can See Them..

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Sticks and stones may break my bones because I have osteoporosis

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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