-Knock Knock -Who's there? -Me Me, who? -You -You? but I thought you were me. - I am you, you're looking in the mirror, asshole. - No, sir i'm sorry you have the wrong house. Asshole doesn't live here.

I told my friend one of these anti-jokes, he took it seriously and beat my head with a bat.

text this number 2066191208 saying i wanna rape you

Elephants can jump higher than the tallest building. You know why? It's because buildings can't jump.

Why do asians get good grades? Because they study very hard and want to achieve success so they can provide for their families.

What did the aids patient do after he was diagnosed? He had sex with many more people and gave them aids as well.

Knock Knock Who's there? A human pretending to be a dog A human pretending to be a dog who? Errr...I mean...woof

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: In order to avoid being mauled by a coyote.

What do you call a mexican sleeping in a car tired.

Do you know what's annoying? Steve

whats the difference between santa claus and jewish people santa claus goes down the chimney and jewish people go up

A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

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How do you make a doctor upset? Teabag his dying mother

A black man walks into a store and grabs something off of a shelf. He walks briskly towards the door and pauses, looking sneakily left and right to make sure nobody else is around. He also looks and sees that the security camera is not facing him. Seeing as nobody is watching him, he quickly turns towards the counter beside the door and pays for the item with his own debit card, knowing that nobody can see him enter his PIN.

Austin is gay. He goes to River Road. And is a sophomore.

What happens when you are a fat 37 year old virgin, with a small penis, poor bone structure, pale skin, a horrible personality, and no friends? You spend all night writing anti-jokes...will someone please like me?

why was six afraid of seven? because seven threatened to kill him and his family.

Leading a hike.. Kid falls off a cliff and dies. Who cleans him up? Bear.

Why was 9 afraid of 1? Because when dialed together, an emergency call was most likely coming and 9 is very sensitive to those types of moments

What happened when the white man saw a black man running with a purse? He called the police. The police proceeded to chase the black man down tackling him into a dumpster, causing permanent spinal damage. Upon investigation into the situation, the black man was deaf and he was bringing the purse, which contained an epi-pen, to his dying wife a block away. The white man who called the police and the police officers involved were sued by the family for a large sum of money.

Why did the little boy cry? He fell down the stairs

Q: What does a baby and an old man have in common? A: They both pee in public

Roses are blu Violets are red Im colored blind

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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