chuck norris

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I'm gonna put my nut-sack on your drum set

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What is long, erect, and 12 inches long? A ruler.

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Two polar bears are sitting in a bathtub. The first one says, "Pass the soap." "No soap, radio," replies the second one. "Oh, you want me to turn on the shower radio?" "Yeah, it's too quiet in here. I could use some tunes." The first polar bear turns on the radio. "Now pass me the soap, please," he says. The second bear passes him the soap, he washes his face and neck, and then they both get out and towel off. The second bear switches off the radio before they leave the bathroom.

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Why don't Polish girls swim in the sea? The only sea that Poland borders on is the Baltic. Throughout most of the year this sea is too cold to comfortably swim in.

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knock! knock! who's there? mom mom who? your mom... your girlfriend just died in a car accident while carrying you baby...

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How many electricians does it take to change a light bulb? 1

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What's the difference between your mom and a toaster? A toaster won't period in your cereal bowl.

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Did You Hear about the Black Guy That went to College?....Neither Did I...

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Whats worse than contracting H.I.V.? nothing

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What does two plus two equal? 4

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what is darker than black?... YOU

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A fish walks into a bad Fish dont walk

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If a tree falls in a forest and only one women is there to hear it, does i make a sound? Trick question: there's no forests in kitchens.

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They sent her to her room without dinner.

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Why does Santa Clause not have any children? Because he only cums once a year.

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How do you stop a plane? Throw flying birds at it.

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What do Lebron James and Bill Murray have in common? They are both black basketball players. Except for bill murray

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What do you say to a blind buss driver? You suck

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You're so straight!

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How do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator? You don't, the giraffe is a savanah animals and there is no physical way for a giraffe to fit in a refridgerator.

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What did the twin towers get at the pizza place? 2 planes

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Why did the plane crash Because Joe diragi is so fat

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Small breasts.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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