how much is a microwave full of dead babies? a fridge full of dead puppies.

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Goodbye Nero, it is good to see that you are the man that we still admire so much, except better, wiser than we thought you would be, stronger, if broken inside by unhappiness, you cannot change this world into what it could have been, and neither should you take that burden upon your shoulders anymore.

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How do you make a dead baby float? -you take your foot off its head.

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Roses are brown Violets are brown Who shit in my garden

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Q:what do u call a dead baby tied to my feet? A:new shoes

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What is green but looks like a silver car? A silver car....I lied about the green part.

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Why would Obama like to be ahead of some guy's poll and bent over at the same time? Because being ahead in someone's poll is encouraging news for his election campaign and bending over is part of the exercise program he uses to stay in shape.

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what did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede!

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why did the man die? he had cancer

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1:Knock Knock 2:Who's there 1: Your cousin tyler He was then brought in with the rest of the family to celebrate Thanks giving.

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The burgler walked into the house. Nobody noticed the initial intrusion. The burgler quickly left. The family of which was stolen from woke up the next day and enjoyed a hearty breakfast of grains, oats, and barley without a worry on anyone's mind.

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Why did Martha Stewart's skin hurt? My friend has a skin condition :( and is dying, skin cancer is not something to make fun of.

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What rhymes with orange? Somalia.

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What do you call a prostitute with morals? Ironic.

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A dinosaur walks into the bar, everyone panics in fear and confusion because it is a dinosaur and it's weird.

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Why was the black man in prison? He was wrongly accused of a felony and the jury by whom he was tried was largely racist.

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Q: what do you call a guy with a stolen cat in his pocket A: The police because stealing animals is illegal

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A man and a cucumber walk into a bar. They sit three seats away from each other and intermediately give nervous looks to one another. Finally the man stands up and declares "I hate bar jokes" and walks out.

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Whats better than giving birth to a disabled son? A Blowjob

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Elephant. Elephant who? Seatbelt.

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What did the blind man say to his teacher? Nothing, blind people can't talk.

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how much kush does it take to get kushagra high

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Roses are bright, Violets are sad, I like sprite I'm really struggling for ideas at this point

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Cement is grey, Shoes are myriad colors, but usually white, black, or brown, depending on their use, And I love you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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