What do you call a sheep? something to have sex with.

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how do you know when your in love? massive erection.

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What do you call a black man with mishap-in head scares on the left side of his face and a 3rd degree burns on the right side? a very unfortunate guy.

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Why, if you are blending a baby, should you put it in feet first? So you can look in to it's eyes when masturbating.

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How do you confuse an English Professor? Light your pants on fire and flop around like a fish.

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Knock knock "Who's there?" Blood on the Dance Floor "Ha!"

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What's the difference between girl scouts and boy scouts? Girl scouts are usually females and boy scouts are usually males.

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knock knock who`s there me oh come in

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Why are Chinese people short? Chinese people are often exposed to harmful chemicals because of lax environmental laws, and suffer from poor nutrition.

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A guy walks into a bar. He now has a broken collar bone.

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Why didn't the black lady become a doctor? After being awarded a Guggenheim Achievement Grant for film, she decided rather than going to school for her doctorate to instead spend time traveling in India, doing service work with the country's rather large homeless population.

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So a blonde was trying to peel a banana, but she couldn't because she was viciously attacked by chimpanzees and had all her fingers bitten off

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What did George Washington tell his men before they got on their horses? Men get on your horses.

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Knock, Knock? Who's there? Its Gilly.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because having no sense of hearing or vision she is completely incapable of operating any sort of machinery.

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little travis puts hedgehogs in his poop chute

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Was the last joke funny? Because this one isn't.

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A vodka please Sir this is McDonald's Ok sorry, a McVodka please

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he saw some pandas spooning.

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A woman tells her boyfriend that shes going shopping. Later that day the boyfriend sees her in an alley giving a blow job to a stranger so he says "What are you doing here?"

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have Tourette's, Cheese on toast.

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A: Knock Knock.. B: Who's there? A: John B: John Who? A: Shut the hell up, i'm masturbating.

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What do you get when you cross an African-American, a bird, and ice cream? I don't know.

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2 nuns in the bath, One says "wears the soap" the other says "Over there, next to the shampoo"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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