Your mom is so fat that she has trouble walking up the stairs because she gets easily winded.

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What's worse than a broken leg? Two broken legs

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What did lil' Suzy do when she got home from school? She was violently mutilated by a bear then continually but raped by a man she met on the Internet. Needless to say, she had a great time. -Harrison

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What do you do if you walk outside and see your t.v. floating in the lawn in the middle of the night? Go back inside.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I don't like anyone who is not a straight, white male.

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Why is your face? Because.

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How do you make friends with a squrriel? Trust me, don't.

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What's green and invisible? This cabbage in my hand.

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why can't the bat see? Because it's made of metal

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It's not illegal, it's just frowned upon... like... masterbating on an airplane.

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A. Knock, Knock B. Come in

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Why did the Jew hate bananas? He was deathly allergic to them.

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p lkl

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why didnt the mouse go for the cheese on the mouse trap it is proven that mice dont actually really like cheese all that much.

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A girl dropped her pencil while sitting next to her bf... She glanced at his phone while he was texting a message that said "I love you"... The girl jumped up and called him every name she could think of and left the room... The message was to his mother! She didn't listen and left him... He killed himself because she left him... She killed herself because he killed himself... Moral of the story: Don't drop you pencil!

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Child Prostitution.

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What's worse than having a gay friend? 9/11.

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Whats yellow and shaped like a banana? Bananas

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WHATS A CRUM AND LIVES IN A SLUM ?? A BOY CALLED KEVIN CRUMMY

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Why did the blond fall down? She died.

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I was hungrey then i saw a man puke. Im still very hungrey. Then i threw up. Im not so hungrey

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How do you get a guitar player to play softer? Ask him to lower the volume a bit and maybe also play a quieter tune.

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what do you call a black man on a killing spree? whatever his xbox live gamertag is. that would probably be most appropriate

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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