Knock Knock ! Who's there? Jim. Oh come in.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Q. What's green and will kill you if it falls out of a tree A. A pool table

thumb_up thumb_down +36

How many Jews does it take to screw in a light bulb? One jew to screw in the light bulb.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Depending on whether you have permission to eat it, either stolen property, or a nice snack shared between friends.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What happened to the woman driver who drove to Tesco? Due to the pleasant traffic conditions, she arrived slightly earlier than expected and she finished her weekly shop in forty minutes. She returned home, once again in good traffic and ate a delicious lunch of sausages and chips.

thumb_up thumb_down -46

Why did your mom fall off the swing? I shot him.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

You know what's a real drag? A club foot

thumb_up thumb_down -5

There are three muffins sitting in an oven. The first one says nothing. The second one also says nothing. They're just muffins and muffins can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

how do you make a dead baby float? take your foot off its head.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How can you tell your not italian? You aint no Guito!

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What did the blind man say to the fish store owner? I would, 1 fish please.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

There's was an old lady. She fell in a puddle

thumb_up thumb_down +3

what did the frog say to the fence? chicken

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Where do farmers retire their used farm equipment? The tree in their backyard.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

An old lady and her son walk into a hospital, only to find it covered in TRICERITOPS SHIT!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did Sarah Palin say to her daughter on Christmas? Merry Christmas

thumb_up thumb_down +35

I said I read te terms of service. I didnt

thumb_up thumb_down +20

josh is a skinny headed keppy mong

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A- Knock knock. B- Who's there? A- The interrupting doctor. B- The interrupt- A- You have cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

what did the terorist do when he went out side blew up

thumb_up thumb_down +7

How many Catholics does it take to change a light bulb? None. They use candles

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did the lawyer name his daughter. he couldnt because both the baby and his wife died in child birth.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Somebody pushed it.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops