A jewish man trips and breaks his nose

A Priest, a Rabbi, and a Beluga Whale walk into a bar. The Priest says: "Well because today is a holy holiday, I'll take a glass of white wine to celebrate." The Rabbi says: "Well, because today I have to kindle thy sacred light, I'll have a glass of merlot." The Beluga Whale then says: "Ooooooooorrrrooooooommmmmmmm....."

What happens when you shoot a bear and you kill it? It dies.

Knock Knock. GO AWAY!

Why are black people not allowed to play football? They are.

What's the difference between your momma and a bucket of shit? Well, for starters your mother and a bucket of shit aren't even made of the same physical structure, and secondly, your mother is sentient while a bucket is not.

Knock knock. Who's there? The Police. Your family is dead...

Why did the chicken cross the road? Chicken is a funny word, and the road is a plot device.

whats worse than taking a refrigerator to the face? the holocaust and AIDs

Whats The difference between a soccer mom and a pit bull? One's a dog ones a human. 363\

What do superheroes say after they save someone? Whatever the hell they want.

A family walks into a talent agent's office. They do a cute family-friendly performance that they call "The Aristocrats."

what color is blue? green

Who was worse than Hitler? Justin Bieber

Two women were sitting in silence.

Why did the girl fall off the swing? She didn't have arms.

Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

Two Japanese men walked out of a bar. They drowned.

What happens when you play a country song backwards? Gibberish.

What did the librarian say to the three black men in the library? Nothing. Those three men were Harvard graduates and were very respective of libraries, and thier policies.

How many hours of sleep did Jimmy get last night? Zero, because he has insomnia. Jimmy got fired from his job today because of his lack of energy and motivation due to his disorder. His wife divorced Jimmy because he can no longer support her and their two kids.

What is long, hard and comes out of a gay persons bum? poo

Yo mama's so fat, that we are all extremely concerned for her health.

why was the man itchy? because he had herpies

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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