in soviet russia, cow milks you

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why did the chair brake? because a car smashed into it. where did it go? all the way to china. whats 3+4? why did the Chinese man get this wrong? Because a chair was in his head.

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Q: What do you call an underground train full of professors? A: It's very unlikely that the passengers on an underground train would consist entirely of professors, unless it was a special service booked solely for the attendees of highly specialised lectures which required each audience member to have completed a professorship.

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What is frowned upon no matter what country you're in? Sex on a plane.

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There was a little boy in kindergarten who really had to go to the bathroom. So he asked his teacher if he could go to the bathroom, and she told him he could go at snack time. The little boy really had to go to the bathroom, so he asked his teacher again, and like before, she told him to wait until it was snack time. The little boy had to go very very badly and asked the teacher one more time. This time the teacher said "if you can say the alphabet, then you can go to be bathroom" so the little boy got up all his courage and started off with "A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I,J,K,L,M,N,O,P,Q,R,S,T,U,V,W,X,Y and Z." Then the teacher said,"good job" and let him go to the bathroom. When he went there was a man waiting in the stall who brutally raped and murdered the boy.

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A drunkard stumbles into the bar. Now he's got thousand's of dollars in medical bills.

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Why couldn't anybody at school taste lunch? Nobody made lunch.

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why did the cow cross the road? n i g g e r

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What do a Fascist and a Democrat both have in common? Involvement in politics.

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Can yas all stfu SBBBBBBBBBSBSBSBSBSSBBSBSSBSBSBSBSBSBSBSBSBSBBBBBB

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How can you tell if someone is a Mexican? Ask them politely if they're Mexican

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A:Wanna hear a joke? B: Sure A: A joke

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Your mamma's so dumb, we are seriously worried she might hurt herself.

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Why did the catholic priest get sent to jail? Tax evasion.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it wanted to.

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Why did the chicken cross the road To go to KFC

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How are a grape and a duck alike? They're both purple... except for the duck.

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What did the nerd say to his friend regarding the test they had just taken? - Nothing, he doesn't have any friends.

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what does a jew want most for hanukkah? presents

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if life gives you lemons, make lemonade. unless you only get one lemon, then it really hard to make a good glass..and for that matter, who said you had a juicer? it would be really hard to just squeeze the juice out of a lemon. on top of that, what kind of situation am I in that I would need lemonade? let's say if life gives you lemons, determine the best use of them based on need, local weather and economic status

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how many dead babies can fit in a microwave? 3 1/2

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Guy: I have a gun get in my van Girl: SHOTGUN!

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what do you call a dog with no legs? whatever his owner named him it is a shame he can`t run and play with other dogs.

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what did the 3 year old get for her birthday? nothing she died of terminal cancer at the age of 2

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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