Boy: "Mom, I don't want to walk in circles anymore." Mother: "Shut up or I'll nail your other foot to the ground."

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What is small and gives people courage? Certain kinds of illegal drugs

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

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Bigfoot, the loch ness monster, and self-respecting Justin Beiber fans are all the same, your told they exist, it's not true.

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Dries Roelvink walks into a bar...

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Why did litltle Susie drop her ice cream? She got hit by a bus Knock knock Who's there Not Susie

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Where do cows go on the weekends? The slaughterhouse.

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A man with tourettes walks into a bar, due to his disease he shouts unexpected profanities across the room; everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the pressure anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom and pulls out a gun and points it at his head. HIs wife of 15 years walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to conceive. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man diagnosed with touretts then goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. After he killed everybody he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentanced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man with touretts still cannot control his ticks and rots in jail everyday screaming obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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Roses are green. Violets are purple. Charlie Sheen. Looks a turtle.

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What's worse than getting Ebola? Nothing

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Justin Bieber.

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what did mohammed say to Jesus? nothing they lived in completly different time periods

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Why did the little boy throw his clock out of the window? After hours of searching for the snooze button to no avail, the little boy became so irritated at the incessant ringing of the alarm that he threw it out of his window in a fit of rage. The clock landed on an old woman who was walking twenty stories below. She was immediately killed on impact.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in your other apple.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, We have condoms, But we didn't use them with you. You were DP'd, Now you have STD.

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Knock Knock Get off my property or I'll call the cops on you!- Napoleon Dynamite

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This is supposed to be an anti-joke.

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What's worse than getting a paper cut? Getting shot in the face.

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What did the stuffed animal say to the human after the human said hi? Nothing, after all stuffed animals can't talk

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A priest and rabbi walk into a bar, they order a few drinks, then call a cab to go home.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was standing up.

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Q: Whats the difference between me and a ghost? A: Ghosts arnt dolphins!

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A Man buys a Prius. Hated it.

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Go away.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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