Roses are red, Violets are red, Daisies are red, OH SHIT! MY GARDEN'S ON FIRE!!!

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sadf

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Why was Ray Charles always smiling? He was Happy

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Why is it okay to have four cats? Because I said so.

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Whats worst than reading the 8th anti joke that ends with the Holocaust? The one where it ends with someone getting hit by a fridge for the 9th time.

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I couldn't afford haircuts so I purposely contracted cancer.

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your mummas so ugley that it looks like it court fire and your family put it out with forkes

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Roses are grey Violettes are grey I am colour blind And I suck at rhymes

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knock, knock no one answers man goes home and shots himself because he feels alone

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead

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Why did Sally fall off the swings? She has no arms. Knock knock Whose there? Not Sally, she has no arms

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There were once three brothers who were traveling along a lonely, winding road at twilight. In time, the brothers reached a river too deep to wade through and too dangerous to swim across. However, these brothers were learned in the magical arts, and so they simply waved their wands and made a bridge appear across the treacherous water. They were halfway across it when they found their path blocked by a hooded figure. This hooded figure then proceeded to step out of the shadows and mug them, all three of them were brutally murdered. This is why you stay away from hooded figures when you are being talked about in a story being told in third person.

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Q: What sound does a baby make when you put it in a blender? A: I don't know; I was too busy trying to find my camera.

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Q: Why was the boy sad? A: An Elephant was sitting on his face

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Q What did Stevens mum say when he asked to be an astronaut A no your heads too big

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What is black and blue and really is not in the mood for sex? The new girl at the women's shelter.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it had Alzheimers and forgot that he lived on the other side of the street.

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What's the difference between the sky and the ocean? They're both blue

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What's the hardest part about watching a 2 year old get hit by a bus? Trying not to laugh.

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"KNOCK KNOCK". I opened the door to greet my guests for the party.

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what is a big jar and has a human in it? A human in a jar.

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What part of a vegetable are you not supposed to eat? His wheelchair.

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A blind duck walks under a coffee table. Luckily, it was shorter that the table, walked underneath, and continued unharmed. Then it was eaten by a cat it couldn't see.

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Doctor: "I'm sorry, but your son has Hepatitis B. Asian Parent: "Why he has Hepatitis B? Why he not get the Hepatitis A plus?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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