What's the difference between a dead baby and a ferrari? One is a sports car and the other is a baby that is not alive.

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Nero, please cut the bull, I know you work for the feds, you are involved with the FBI, I know, but its not my problem, I just do not like you lying to me.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken was a metaphor.

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Why didn't the business man ever wear pants? He didn't have any legs.

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What do you call a person who kills a black? A black man

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How did you know it was bedtime at Michael Jackson's house? When his clock's big hand met the little hand, usually at 10 or 11, though sometimes later if he had a concert that night.

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What did one baby say to the other? Nothing, they're both dead.

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Q. What happened to the kid with 1 arm and 1 leg and 1 arm and 1 leg A. He had a seisure, then got hit by a bus

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? A worm in your intestinal tract.

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What do a helicopter and a banana have in common? They are both edible. Except for the helicopter.

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Theres a monkey that walks into a bar. I forget the rest of the joke but your moms a w****

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Look, gullible is written in the sky! The man looks up and there it is.

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How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? a lot.

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Why did the little boy stick a fork in the electrical socket? Because he wanted to escape his abusive stepfather

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once upon a time, a bird fell in love with a fish.. they both died.

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer..... I'm going to rip the scalp off of your son and where it on my face to a Cherokee Sacrificial Ceremony The other lawyer was actually a lightbulb

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was uneducated and was not aware of the dangers of streets in heavily populated cities.

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roses are red violets are blue i have aids and so do you happy valentines day!

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i love to lick...

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A kid walks into a bar and the bartender yells, "Get Out!"

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why am i a dick head. because my gcse's spelt fudge and i dont like fudge so i project my anger into boss things

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What is small, yellowy-white and emits a kind of cheesy smell? A lump of cheese

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Stewie: MOM! MOMMY! MOMMY! MOMMA! MOMMY! MOM! MOMMA! MOMMY! MOM! LOIS! LOIS! LOIS! LOIS! LOIS! LOIS! LOIS! LOIS! LOIS! LOIS! LOIS! Lois: WHAT!!! Stewie: Hi, hehehehehehe. Family Guy -Louis

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What do you call a quadriplegic person in the water? One should refer to them by their name, but seeing as a quadriplegic person would be incapable of swimming if you do see a quadriplegic person in a body of water you should seek help or call emergency services.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops