Why did Dom stop smoking? Because he died

thumb_up thumb_down -7

what do you call a black guy with a nice car? most probably a rapper or professional athlete, however there is also a great chance that he is a doctor of philosophy and well educated.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A Mexican walks into a club.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

It was okay, then Alice my friend and a nurse insisted (she can be a total bitch) I take a painkiller, of course that messed up my focus completely and threw off my hypnotic suggestion which I use to shut down the pain receptors. Ironically I cannot seem to shut off my allergy to dust. Oh, yeah it was the standard bullshit Mensa test, ten patterns or something, oh and while I am terrible at trivia, I am actually much smarter than a fifth grader, I mean one kid told me he was smarter because he could do math better than me and he could, so I choked the little bitch to death, who is the smartest one now?

thumb_up thumb_down -11

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a would chuck could chuck wood? Home depot

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Two chemists walk into a bar. The first one says "I'll have some H2O." The second one then says "I'll have some H2O too." Both chemists live as no bartender is irresponsible enough to serve liquid hydrogen peroxide in a public bar.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why couldn't Ray Charles read? Because he was blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +100

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, Mitchell ate it before it could do so.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

hey, my names mark.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A man walks into a bar and gets drink

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What's circular and round A circle

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Roses are red violets are blue I have herpees.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Whats pink and fluffy? Pink fluff

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why didn't Johnny walk to school this week? He was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Roses are red. Violets are blue. Can you pass the soda? Sure.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What do you call an Arab flying a plane? A terrorist. What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot. What are you racist or something?

thumb_up thumb_down +28

roses are red violets are blue you should have been aborted

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Roses are red. Violets are blue. Onions stink. And so do you.

thumb_up thumb_down +58

How do you stop a black man from drowning? Bring him to shore and, if you are certified, perform cpr.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the mother stop breastfeeding her son? Because he was twenty five.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why did the chicken cross the road? ..To get to the other side

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why did the Jew pick a dollar off the ground? He dropped it.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why do all black people look the same? They don't, you're either just racist or unobservant.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops