Knock knock stop knocking you idiot, it's the 21st century

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A man walks into a bar. Three hours later, ambulances arrived, because the man was knocked out. The man who saved was known as a hero, and was awarded a medal for his good deed.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why is Abraham Lincoln a bad driver? Because he is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What's faster than the speed of light? Not a car

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Knock Knock Who's there? It is actually not a good idea to say "who's there" to the random person outside. The man could be a robber or a murderer, and will realize a person is inside. He could bomb the door down and do anything to kill you. You should look through the window first, or through the little peep hole. If the person outside is an acquaintance, then you can respond. However it is best to not reply and leave the stranger alone. Safety is key to living a happy joyful life.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why did the chicken cross the road?... To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What did the black guy say when after he jumped in the pool? Wow, its kinda chilly.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Pickup line: Hey babe, do you work at Mcdonalds? Because I don't have a job, are you hiring?

thumb_up thumb_down -3

what is red and bad for your teeth? a brick

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What do you get when you make a website to put jokes on? People repeating the same joke over and over again, and still managing to get good ratings.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What did the little kid say to the stranger? Nothing. He was taught not to talk to strangers.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

An Englishman, a Scotsman and a Welshman are all in the Great Britain Olympic squad,

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Q. What's cold and has no feelings? A. A pole

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What was the old man doing in the parking lot. Looking for a place to park his car

thumb_up thumb_down +8

how do you double your cash? You rip it in half.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Two muffins are sitting in a oven, The other muffin says to the other muffin nothing, Because muffins are unable of human conversation.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Yo momma's so stupid, she got a moderately low score on her SATs, and sadly, was not excepted by any colleges she applied to, and never got a job. This is why she became depressed, and resorted to suicide to escape the growing pain.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

There once was a man who had a penis that was so big, his girlfriend liked it a lot. A year later they got married and had kids, but then the man lost his accounting job and things went downhill.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why i Hate people. They are alive. The are breathing. The are near me.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did George ride his bike to the park? Due to the down economy his parents were forced to sell his bike in order to pay their bills.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What did one traffic light say to the other? Nothing, as traffic lights are incapable of thought as they are not living.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

what's funnier than a pile of dead babies? pretty much everything because dead babies aren't a laughing matter

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A Jew, a Muslim and an atheist meet at the same bus station. A religious argument breaks out shortly and the three board their respective buses angry and upset. They were a really bad example of religious tolerance.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A man has had too many beers late at night. The bartender says "Sir, I'm going to have to cut you off"

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops