What did the hitler youth kid get for Christmas? An easy bake oven and a G.I. Jew.

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Q: Where can you find a cat with no arms and no legs? A: Right where you left him Q: Where can you find a dog with no arms and no legs? A: In a bun

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Why did the boy only have one arm? tigers make terrible pets

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was making a suicide attempt.

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What is 4 letters and made out of wood? Wood.

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Q. what is the most amazing animal in the world? A. MULLLLLLLLLLLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

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If life throws you melons, you should do your best to avoid them. Large and hard objects such as melons can easily harm you if moving at high speeds. Fortunately, life is not a physical entity that can throw melons or anything else - so the chances of this event occurring to you are exceedingly low.

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Why did the man jump into the river? He wanted to go for a swim, but the pool was closed, so he swam in the river.

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How do you make a homeless person cry? cut an onion in front of him.

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Knock knock Who's there Santa who santa hates you and that is why you got nothing for Christmastime

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Why did the woman step away from the kitchen? To pick up her paraplegic son, who had fallen.

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What starts with "m" and rhymes with monkey? Platypus

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Why was the black man arrested? He was tried and convicted in a court of law for being an accessory to murder.

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How do you stop a black man from drowning? Take your fott off his head.

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What did the little boy with no arms and legs get for his birthday? A baseball, bat, and a glove.

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"I have some pretty bad news for you, but to ease into it, I will try to work it into a conversation." -Alright Doctor, let's try that." "Hey, how are you feeling today?" -"I feel great!" "That's odd, because you have leukemia..."

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Stephen Hawkings walks into a bar. An impossible thing because he can't walk.

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Two men walk into a bar. They get drunk.

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A muslin walks into a bar, and has the same equal rights as everyone else and orders a pint of fosters.

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If life gives you melons, you're probably dyslexic.

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? It really depends on the make and model of the car, as well as the relative size and weight of the people in question, but legally you can only have as many people in the car as there are seatbelts available for them.

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Whats worse than a dog biting you? Cancer.

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why did the T-Rex eat the other dinosaur? Because it is a carnivorous animal.

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My friends are like trampolines I have none

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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