America's Got Talent WIN! Britian's Got Talent WIN! Mexico's Got Talent WTF!

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A recently engaged couple are having sex. The man finishes in just under 3 minutes as usual. The woman then says "I love you" because they've been together for over 2 years and they care for each other very deeply.

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What do you get when you add a cucumber some vinegar some salt and you get..... Macaroni and cheese

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pretty soon we'll all be dead

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what is white and sticky a stick from a birch tree

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Biggest lie in America: Sorry, that was my last stick of gum.

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Why didn't the elephant do any tricks? It was dead.

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two men are standing on a roof. Man #1: do you want me to push you off a roof? Man #2: No.

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What has 4 eyes and cant see? Mississippi

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how does chuck norris eat an apple Just like every other person

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Why did the old man die? He died because he saw the light wich happened to be a street light in the distance.

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Why did the girl cry? She got hit by a bus.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Knock, Knock. Who's there? The Chicken.

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So there is this moose and he goes to a grocery store and asks, "where are the potatoes?" the employee says "aisle 5" and when the moose checks in aisle five, there are no potatoes.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock (who's there?) Not Sally.

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WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN DANII AND SCAFFHOLDING? ONLY ONE STILL HAS A POLE 1 LIKE = 1 TEAR FOR DANII

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What did the doctor say to the patient? You have cancer.

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Why didn't the Hispanic die in the bus explosion? Because he was at home playing with his children when it happened.

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I've got ninety-nine problems, all of them very diverse and possibly involving women.

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Why didn't suzzana go to school on Monday?? Because it was Sunday...I lied about it being monday

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What did the unicorn say to the horse? I have a horn and you don't.

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Q: What did the shark say while eating the surfer A: Nothing, his mouth was full, and besides....sharks cannot talk.

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A homeless man is hungry. He then kills a college professor and has a nice dinner

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Why did priences Dian cross the street? Cause she wasn't wearing a seatbelt!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops