Bin Laden: dang, these pizza guys are so late, this pizza better be free! door: Ring ring ring.. Bin Laden: yes its finally here!

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why did the chef go to jail? because he was caught beating an egg

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Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

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How much does a Polar Bear weigh? Approximately 500 lbs

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Why did the seagull fly over the sea, It had wings.

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Yo mama so fat - - That your dad left her, and it's tearing your family apart

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Why did the woman buy peanut butter and a puppy? Her husband just died. She was trying to fill the void in her soul with junk food and companionship.

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cccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccorn

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What do you call a spoiled black daughter? Tiana (Disney Princess)

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What's huge, gray, and has a trunk and wings. An elephant with wings glued to it.

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What do you call a duck with a mustache? A duck with a mustache.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he was hit by a bus.

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I hate it when you can't tell whether a person is male or female.

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what did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? Cancer what did he get the next year? Nothing he didn't make it that long.

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What's blue and smells like red paint? That blue guy from Megamind.

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i just wrote this so hard

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Periods are red, waffles are blue, some poems rhym, this one doesn't.

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Two scientists walk into a bar, the pair walk up to the counter and the first scientist says, "I'll have some H2O." The second scientist says, "I'll have some H2O too." 10 minutes later, the second scientist dies.

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It's all Taggart

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Why does Danny work at the factory? Because Danny is in an substantial economic crisis, and doesn't have enough money to afford food for his 6 kids and wife. They will all most likely die soon, as his factory job will not provide enough money.

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"Want to hear something ironic?" ...he said to the deaf man.

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what do you call the head-less man sitting on your porch? By what ever his name is!!

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roses are red that fact is true but violets are violet not fu***** blue

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Q:Why are dinosaurs extinct? A:Well there are two reasons the first being a giant meteor struck the earth killing all the dinosaurs. The other reason you touch yourself at night.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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