Q: why do orphans always go hard? A: because the can never go home.

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A black woman sits down in the front of a bus.

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Whats worse than swinging a dead baby by a rope? Stopping it with a shovel.

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What has one head, three eyes and seven legs? A cow with a tri-pod rammed up it's arse. The third eye is a result of a birth defect.

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Roses are red Violets are blue, Sugar is sweet But i have commitment issues So I'd rather just be friends at this point in our relationship.

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What's the difference between a Pile of Dead Babies and a Lamborghini? I don't have a Lamboghini in my garage

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-Will you follow the live coverage of 86th Acacemy Awards? -No. -Are you anti-semitic?

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What's orange and can fly through walls? A Magic Orange.

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amy mcguire is soo amazing! i love her

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Why was the man squinting his face for so long? He was constipated and couldn't give a shit.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being hit by a plane.

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Two monkeys are having sex. They both realize they're boys.

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Q: What did the priest say to the rabbi? A: Our God is a wonderful, loving god; praise his name.

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What do you call a black man running faster than a white man? Usain Bolt

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Why did the Jew pick up the penny? Because he dropped it

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What's big long, harry, and has glowing eyes? I dont know. Its under my bed. PLEASE SEND HELP!!!

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Why is Stevie Wonder called Stevie Wonder? Wonder where I am.

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"Doctor do i have aids?" asked the worried 13-year old.

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yaa tsi tsup ari dik ari dull an dik ari dill an dits tan dool la dippyduppy dull la roop uttyroopy la goorigan gook aya gittygangool arup cha cha adippydappydill la baritztandill lan den lan doe a barik kata barip pari baribadeebadeebadee standen lan doe ya baril las ten lan day a doe la babadeadevadevadevaduv ya vou what is that little las day lan doe badakadagadaga doo doo day a doe

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What do a Siamese cat and a birch tree have in common? Both exist.

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Why did nobody answer when billy knocked on the door? Billy was a loaf of bread.

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1-"What's the worst thing about a joke?" 2-"The stupid punchlines at the end" 1-"No-- when someone dies and can't live to tell it..." (laughter) 3-"What joke you guys laughing at." 2-"None of you're business" 3-"Damn I really wanted to know" 1-"Didn't we all."

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What did the young child with no arms and legs get for christmas? A bike.

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What did the robot do when a person was shot? Nothing, it wasn't programmed for that situation.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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