"Ask me if I'm a tree!" "Are you a tree?" "No."

Why did the boy with one arm have no friends? He was a cereal killer from Ireland.

I once walked into my grandmas house to find her laying face down on the ground. It turns out that everyone was planking but grandma wasn't breathing...

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue I hi Jacked your car And killed your family

What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing... she's ugly

a Dyslexic, Agnostic, Insomniac stayed up all night, wondering if there really was a dog.

(Knock knock) A:who is it? B:its the police open up where coming in B:I SAID OPEN THE BLOODY DOOR A:(SHIT)

A horse walks into a Bakery and asks "Do you have any wheat bread?", and the Baker replies "No, we only have white bread." So the horse says: "Thats okay, I rode my bike today."

That's not mine! it's bigger and blacker! ...where have i heard this before?

A blonde is standing on the edge of a 20-story building. He's had a rather rough life.

how many weasels does it take to change a lightbulb 0 weasels are animals and therefore are not capable of changing lightbulbs

How tall is a tree? Taller than the ground

Why can't Stevie Wonder read? Clearly the only answer is because he's blind

What is the only non-racist animal? The mexican panda. Why? It's black, white, hispanic, and asian.

i'm hard

Why did the farmer cross the road? To catch the chicken

A man was walking down the sidewalk. Then he turned into a drugstore.

What did the the water hose say to the man? Nothing, but the sight of water made the man thirsty and he drank to excess and died from dilution of his blood.

-Knock Knock -Who's there? -To. - To Who? -To whom.

What's worse than stabbing your eye with a fork? Stabbing both your eyes with a fork.

Recent US presidents (and their accompanying economy)

Why did the woman scream when she saw her brother? Cause he was dead.

How do you fit 1000 Jews into a car? You can't. You'd need a much larger vehicle.

What did the little boy want to be when he grew up? A cone

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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