How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? 3, according to Mr. Owl

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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What did the orange say to the apple? “To be sentient is truly unbearable without sexual organs.”

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What is your favorite color???? My mom I got u s o godd.

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Huh? Whats wrong? Why are you mad at me for? Its my name, it has always been so.

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Where do bees go to the bathroom? In the hive - they're incontinent.

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Write Your Own It's easy to take part, just type your text below!

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A farmer hears a knock at the door on a rainy night. He opens the door and welcomes an attractive young man in. The farmer gets his budding teenage daughter to fetch the man a towel. He dries himself off, thanks them both, and goes to bed. He's gone before anyone else wakes up and leaves a fifty on the table.

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What do you call a dog with no legs? A seal.

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Why do men find it difficult to look each other in the eyes? The answer actually has deep routes in their psyche, subconsious, and psychological development as children.

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What do you call a black man in a truck A driver

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"why did the cheese not go to church on sunday" "because it was jewish"

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What did Jesus say to the jews? Fuck you.

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Knock Knock! Oh god Johnny, someones at the door! Hide the heroin and bail man, BAIL!!!

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Why did Polly fall off her roof? Because her dad pushed her.

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What comes out of a zit? Purple poop.

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A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

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Knock knock. Who's there? I'm sorry I don't know you but I think I might have run over your dog!

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A man gets hit by a car. His family is sad and plans a funeral.

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As he stood in her front yard with a boombox in the pouring rain, she leaned her head out the window with a smile and he was electrocuted.

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Knock Knock Who is there? Orange Orange who? Orange-Banana

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What's so good about being Swiss? Well.... The flag's a big plus

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A nuclear reactor explodes and all the waste are going straight out in the ocean. Look at my new shoes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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