- Anti Joke

How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

What did the man say to his wife while having sex? I don't know.

what did the little girl do after drinking a smoothie? she choked and died a painful death.

How long does it take a person to steal a television? Many variables could determine said ability to successfully steal a television. Such variables depend on sub-variables such as weight of the television, whether the television is a store, an upper-class citizen's home, or in a "ghetto" apartment. A main variable could be the race of the thief in question. African Americans are scientifically more likely to steal a television faster compared to a Caucasian. Yet a downside to being an African American is the fact that they are more likely to be called in for questioning or arrested on the spot at their broken down home. Caucasians are less likely to be questioned and if caught will most likely obtain the proper amount of bribery money in which to pay off the police.

What is red, and bucket shaped? A red bucket.

Did you know Helen Keller had a tree house? Well, she did.

Suzie was in a traumatizing accident resulting in her arms getting cut off. Knock Knock? Whos There? Not Suzie.

How do you become a multi-trilionere? Get bored...

Why did the dyslexic man walk into the bra, he didn't he walked into a bar.

Roses are red Voilets are blue I have a gun Get in the Van

The only thing worse than finding a repeated joke on Anti-Joke is finding a REAL joke on Anti-Joke

What do you get six year old Hitler for his birthday? An Easy Bake Oven

What do you call a man with no legs, and one arm? Whatever his name happens to be.

A: Ask me if I'm a tree. B: Are you a tree? A: psh, no! gives offended look and walks away

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was Tuesday!

What did the pirate order for breakfast? Pancakes.

Yo mama has had so many kidney stones she has to be on a water diet.

Why does Snoop Dogg have an umberella? For shielding himself from the rain.

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

Why are white people white? I don't know

Timmy: "Dear Santa, why don't you ever come to my house?" Santa: "Because you don't have parents, Timmy" THE END

What did Helen Keller name her dog? Well i would imagine one of various names for a domesticated animal and she would choose the name based on her likes towards nature or an element of nature, being the educated individual she i would think she may name it base on a person of importance, such as an author or maybe a writer that inspires her.

wheres a place a cancer patient cant go? the hairdressers

how many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop 397, IF you have a big tounge

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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