Why did Susie fall off the swingset? Because she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

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Two Chavs jump off a clift who wins? Neither the sport of Tomb stoning is considered non competitive much like jogging

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Q: how do you make a baby blow bubbles? A: hold it under water, or as an alternative you could hold it under its twin sisters blood.

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Why did the boy fall out of the tree? This is no time to make insensative jokes you dick, Billy's on a hospital bed.

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What did the bartender say to the man? can i have a beer if you dont get it the bartender asked the customer for a beer

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Friends are like trees, they fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe. N

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Freddie Mercury died of AIDS. Many consider him a musical hero.

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what do you call an animal thats black and white and red all over? an elephant

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Q: why did the dog fall down the stairs? A: Because I pushed him down.

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Q: why is halloween scary? A: because your there!!!

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What starts with "m" and rhymes with monkey? Platypus

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So Nero, seriously, don't be mean, call me, I am going to bed now, nighty nite.

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what's blue and goes blub blub? a blue blub blub

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What's better then petting a lion? Petting a lion and not getting eaten

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What happens when u mix water and soda? You get watery soda

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Q: Whats worse than a dead baby in a bag? A: Please just make my hamburger.

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What do blondes do when they hurt themselves ? They say "Ow", just like anyone else.

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A white police officer pulled over a black guy on the highway. The cop asked him for license and registration. The black guy had a tail light out, and was very polite and cooperative. The two became close friends, but then one night, the black guy went to the house of the white cop. The black guy brought his wife and daughter over for a dinner party, eating grilled turkey sandwiches with mayonnaise. When the cop's attractive wife asked the black guy if he would like some fresh watermelon from the patch in their back yard, he respectfully declined, for he needed to return to his own home to patiently wait for a business call from one of his employees, who was also a very intelligent and hard working African male. Once home, the black guy turned on his stereo, to listen to some calming country music at an appropriately low level of volume, as his daughter and wife had gone to sleep, for the wife also had work in the morning, at her law firm, and her daughter had a job interview after her day of classes at Dartmouth were out for the day... then Martin Luther King Jr. woke up from his dream, and was soon thereafter assassinated.

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What's funnier than an knock knock joke???? Dancing narwhals pooping talking soup

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Why did the fish cross the road? Because fish don't have legs and can't walk anywhere

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what do u call a Muslim flying a plane??? 9-11

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What happens if you punch a girl? An equal rights protest.

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What do you call a prostitute with no arms and legs? Unfortunate, as they've probably have many misfortunes in life.

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no pen = no studying no studying = bad grades bad grades = no job no job = no money no money = no food no food = death DON'T LOSE YOUR PEN

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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