A: Knock Knock B: Come in A: Come in Who B: Your Mum...

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why was the little boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his face.

thumb_up thumb_down

how do you get a nun pregnant? have unprotected SEX with her, resulting in expulsion from her convent

thumb_up thumb_down -28

There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy. After botched reduction surgery, he was left without a penis at all and, realising the horrible irony, threw himself into a raging river (experiencing no shrinkage whatsoever).

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What's worse then listening to Nickleback? The Holo- On second thought, nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A jew was walking down the street what did he see? the holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did Jimmy pass out Cause he drank a full tallboy

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A duck walks into a bar. The bartender says what will it be? The duck replies "lemonade!"

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why do all black men carry guns? They don't. That is a stereotype. Now pants on the other hand, that's a different story.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

whats the diffrence between madeline macan and a submarine? there isnt one there both at the bottom of the sea and full of seaman

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did johnny fall down? He got hit in the head with a brick

thumb_up thumb_down +20

i may not know where you sleep. but, i spiked your drink with sleeping pills

thumb_up thumb_down +15

How did the blind man eat his soup? With a spoon. Despite no vision, the man could feel the shape of what he was touching.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Why does a clown wear makeup? So you can't identify him to police after he shoves your kids in his tiny car and drives away.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Whoever is reading this, I love you and I hope you have a great day.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A man goes to the pound to adopt a dog and sees a very shaggy dog and says "WOW! Thats a shaggy dog I'll take it!" So the man takes home his new dog and decides to enter the dog in the towns anual shaggy dog contest. and wins. After winning the town shaggy dog contest he moves up to the county shaggy dog contest. theres no competition. Now the man and his dog enter into the state shaggy dog contest, the states shaggiest dogs are all competing. the man wins. Finally the man and his dog are in the prestigious national shaggy dog contest. The judge walks up to the man and says "your dog isn't very shaggy"

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Q: A squirrel a chipmunk and a spider monkey are fighting over these nuts. Who gets them? A: Your Mom ;p

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Your momma so poor, she has a hard time paying her bills.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's the difference between a piece of chicken and a black guy? They were both once alive and innocent, I lied about the black guy.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A guy walks into a bar, has a few drinks with his mates and gets highly intoxicated.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A Jew walking in the street sees a homeless person asking for charity. He reaches to his pocket, grabs a penny, greets her with a nice smile and gives away the penny.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

So there's this crazy married couple in a old trailer down the road. They are both drunk. The man asks his blond wife, ''Isn't it about time we get married?'' The wife replies ''I wouldn't marry a ugly thing like you!'' The next day, they file a divorce.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Did you hear about the Mexican boy scout that helped that old lady cross the border.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops