My sister has to take a dump

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two muffins are in an oven one muffin says man its pretty hot in here and the other muffin says oh my god a talking muffin

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there were ten in the bed and the little one said roll over so they all rolled over and one fell out then got back up and punched the little one in the face saying good night

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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A paraplegic walks into a bar.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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A girl asks a guy "How come you don't take me dancing anymore?" The guy said "Because we were both killed in a car accident."

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What Is somthing that is 5 "5" and white A 5 "5" white person

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What's worse than opening your pantry door and finding nothing desirable to eat? Repeated high voltage electrical shocks to the anus.

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kid: dad! a kid called me gay today! dad: son, im 100% ok with u hurting that kid! kid: i cant! hes too cute.

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What's yellow and cant walk? The Sun

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Why couldn't billy hear his mom on the phone? Because Billy is deaf.

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Whats blind and deaf? Hellen Keller.

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When life throws you lemons, you probably have dyslexia

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I went to the game and saw a Mexican wave. So I waved back at him.

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Why did the man tell the other man to shut up? The other man said something that made this particular man mad which drove him to tell the other man to shut up.

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y did simran cros rode? 2 get 2 uder side ofcurse. stopid nobs

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? ........Because he was severely scared when he witnessed a stray dog bleeding out

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How do you confuse a blonde? Paint yourself green and throw forks at her.

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I used to take arrows to the knee but then I didn't, for no particular reason.

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What did the psychopath say to the firefighter? Can you lend me a few bucks? My clothes are dirty and I need to go to the launromat.

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Why did the beachball get sad after it was deflated? Beachballs don't have emotions.

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A kid who lost parents is called an orphan and a wife who lost her husband is called a widow. What do you call parents who lost their child? Free on the Weekends.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I like pie. I know you do too.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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