Why couldn't little Jimmy play catch with his dad? Because he was an orphan.

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What's red and on fire? My crotch

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Where did Lil' Suzie go after the explosion? Everywhere.

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WNBA

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What do you get if you cross a nan and a car? A squashed dead nan who released their bowels and your grandads face who was also dead as they had a cardiac arrest

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A man walks to his coathanger and shouts: "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!" his wife says not to because the Rapist 'Eggman' was out again. He says he will be careful. On his way to the store, he hears "They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggen-" but the man shouts "AND I'M THE WALRUS, SO SHUT UP AND GET OUTTA MY FACE OR I'LL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" the Eggman and the singer became friends and found two more from Liverpool who were excellent musicians. They formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band's breakup.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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A baby elephant steps on a lego. First thought, auch, huh ?! Actually, the lego was fine with it and so was the baby elephant. Now they're married and are expecting a baby legophant.

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"What time is it?" "Time to buy a watch." The homeless man inquiring about the time proceeded to cry.

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What has a bomb straped to itself and has wheels? Me. I lied about the wheels.

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What do you call a dead prostitute? - You (or friends name) in 10 years

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A: Ask me if I'm a tree! B: Are you a tree? A: No.

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They sent her to her room without dinner.

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What happens when cole goes into a dark room? It's not possible his hair puts off too much light

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Get in the car. -Tag

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What do you call the man with no arms and no legs? Jeff. Because that's his ****ing name.

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If she's old enough to count, she's probably in second grade.

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Hitler has a certain "genocide-quaw" about him

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Sarah lost both arms in a car accident Knock knock Who's there? Not sarah. Roses are red Violets are blue Wow. Clever Knock knock Who's there? Still not Sarah, as she is in a serious condition at her local hospital, and so is fighting for her life.

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What does wasabi spell backwards? Ibasaw

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Why did the chicken cross the road? His sons funeral was on the other side.

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My dog got out of its cage So I found it and beat the shit out of my neighbors kid.

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im 14, over weight and spotty! you interested? .... im desperate:)

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What happened to the peanut who went to New York City? He got a-salted

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops