Alcoholic walks into a bar and then walks out because he promised his children and wife that he would straight out his life.

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Last night I had the strangest dream. I was eating a big marshmallow and when I woke up this morning I had appendicitus

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Whats 9 + 10? 19.

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"jrfevkhbgjk" said the retard.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Wristwatch! Wristwatch who? Orange ya glad I didn't say banana

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why was six afraid of seven? because seven threatened to kill him and his family.

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Q: What did the Jewish man find when he turned on his shower? A: gas

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Q: What do you call a dog with no arms or legs? A: A dog

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A man walks into a bar so how many Jews were there when a man called Wellard ate a pizza. Balloons

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What does Chuck Norris order at McDonalds? A Big Mac with a large fry and drink.

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The women if the wnba are good at basketball

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What do you say the big head boy? Brush yo teeth

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's a woman.

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A 65 year old man is tired with his life. He begins to realize that it is meaningless to him. He wants no part in the world anymore so he decided to commit suicide. On his way to commit suicide, he comes across a magical man that has an extraordinary offer. This magical man has offered to grant the 65 year old man the power to fly. The 65 year old man, accepts the offer in great interest, but the magical man wants something in return for his deed. The 65 year old man, offers all the money in his wallet to the magical man. The magical man accepts his offer of all the money and continues. With a flick of the wrist, the magical man says, "fly, fly, high as the sky, i grant this man the ability to fly". The 65 year old man is greatly excited now that he has the ability to fly. He cant wait to try out his new power. He runs to the nearest cliff and jumps. Too bad the "magical man" was really a male prostitute that was broke and homeless. The 65 year old man died on impact and the male prostitue walked away with a wallet full of cash.

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A wolf boards a plane with two dead rabbits in his mouth. The flight attendant approaches him and says, "Sir, you can only have one of those on the plane." The wolf bites her throat out.

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What object do bananas look like? Bananas.

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A Jewish man with a 20 mile boner walks into a wall. Which body part hits the wall first? His nose

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

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Why did the pumpkin stop using the jack hammer? Pumpkins cannot use power tools since they are nothing but orange gourds. But, [for sport] say this ‘pumpkin’ was incarnate; one could assume he was done with his demolition work. He then would return the portable drill to the rental facility and get his deposit back.

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Why do birds suddenly appear? Because they can fly

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Why couldn't the pirate enter into the movie? Because he's dead.

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What's faster than a black guy with your TV? Probably someone who doesn't have to carry such a heavy object.

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why couldnt the kid get off the couch when his mom asked him to? he was paralyzed

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do you know whats worse than a bad joke on antijoke.com the holocaust.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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