emma: how will we survive zombies? mat t: just give me a blow job ......4 seconds later emma: so what now?

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What do you call a moose with a 12 gauge shotgun bullet through it's head? Open Season

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Do you also think Daffy Duck is really attractive when he dresses up like a woman? Yeah, me neither...

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Q: Why didn't i save my work? A: Because i didn't do any work?

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Why did the blond fall down? She died.

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What's the safest way to tell a racist joke? Ask everybody who might hear the joke if they would be offended by a racist joke.

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who's getting there balls chopped off by lilly? Nemo

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What is white and fluffy? A cotton ball.

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Chuck Norris walks up to a baby and punches it in the face He walks away and laughs

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It gets very hot in Mianus, Connecticut

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a serial rapist.

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What happens if you fell off a 600 foot cliff? You die.

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Adam Fantuzzi's just jealous because he'll never be the man his mother is

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Why did little Timmy scrape his knee? He was launched off of an aircraft carrier.

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A bear and a rabbit sits by a small lake in the forest, taking a shit. After a while, the bear asks the rabbit: "Do you have problems with shit hanging from you fur after you're done?" The Rabbitm ponders, and responds: "No, bear. I really don't". Than the bear wiped his ass with some moss.

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What did the guy say to helen keller nothing... according to helen keller

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What does it take to shit in a shower?? To choke on a whambar and be 90 kgs!

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Whats the difference between ice cream and dead babies? I'm not eating ice cream right now.

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"knock knock?" ITS 2012 WE HAVE DOOR BELLS!!!

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A girl hands her boyfriend her phone and says it's his dad. He throws it on the ground exclaiming, "My dad's not a phone, duh!"

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What's big and black? An ant i lied about in being big

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Why did the baby stop crying? I shot it with a 9mm pistol and put it in the microwave because it cried while I was watching Sienfeld.

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Whats blue and flufft Answer: Blue Fluff

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? It really depends on the make and model of the car, as well as the relative size and weight of the people in question, but legally you can only have as many people in the car as there are seatbelts available for them.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops