We are few Nero, too few, if I want to split my money with you, would it help you find true happiness?

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Roses are red The grass is green I want you in my bed If you know what I mean.

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Beans, beans the magical fruit. The more you eat, the more likely you are to realize that beans aren't actually fruit. They're legumes.

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Why was the asian a bad driver? Because while he was driving a leprechaun was punching him in the face.

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Why doesn't Andy wanna bend over to puck something up? That's how he got assraped!

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A man walks into a bar and says "ow"; he stepped on a nail sticking up through one of the floorboards. He then sues the bartender for a large sum of money because of the injury he sustained, and causes the bartender to lose everything he owns in order to pay off his debt.

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so a man walks into a store looking for a new sheet,the cashier he goes to is chinese He leaves with a new sheet and is satisfied with it,oh wait,he gave me a pile of shit,sorry guys i had to -chuckles

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What did the college student say after he failed his test? He didn't say anything, he was a mute.

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why did the chicken cross the road? he didnt, its just a myth

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vbh

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A blind man walks into a bar. He backs up, takes two steps to the right, and walks around the bar rubbing his forehead.

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whats the difference between kroush and a bucket of shit? the bucket

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What's the opposite of Christopher Walkins? Christopher Reeves.

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Donkey lips

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I wish there were a city named Sample. So that the sign can say "Urine Sample"

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What is worse than getting a 30% on a test? Getting a 29% on a test.

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How do you make a japanese man horny? Mutilate his girlfriend

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That was totally mean! I mean I was in no way going to say any of that to you! Especially not the last part, sorry that must have been part of the suggestion or something, I barely ever tell myself stuff like that, I mean stop it okay? I mean I totally read it and all but I was all like "I am notnot typing that" please stop it, its humiliating.

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What did Stevie Wonders wife do when they got into fights? Re-Arrange the furniture

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so your paddling up stream in a cement canoe, one wheel falls off. how many pancakes does it take to shingle a dog house? 46 cause bears dont like eggs.

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple this joke.

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-Knock knock -Go away -*Breaks door and shoots*

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How do you make time fly? Well! You cannot really make time fly. Imean, yeah, iguess it feels like time flies when your having fun, but it moves just as fast as always!

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what did one wall say to the other wall Nothing because its physically impossible for walls to talk

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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