A stripper walks into a bar, she proceeds to cry because she's an alcoholic and a stripper. Meanwhile, her 3 children sit at home hungry. She then goes home, and grabs her gun and shoots her children, then shoots herself. Bucket.

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A middle-class family went away on vacation. While they were gone, a pyromaniac burnt down their house. Their cat was still inside.

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why did the man drop his ice-cream cone? He had no fingers, he lost them in Vietnam while he was protecting our country

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why was the man a redneck? because he got sunburned at the nascar race.

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what do you call a cucumber that is wearing a dress.... an asian lady

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One scientist is talking to another scientist. One say "what's the matter?" The other replies "my family is dead"

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What do you call a guy who set's pancakes on fire? Mentally confused, and in need of a psychiatrist.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? I am.

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"What's funnier then this joke? Women's rights." *Your suggestion is contradictory considering the fact that you are implying "Women's rights" is more humorous than "Women's rights".

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adam hodgson !

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Dan O'Driscoll

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What's worst than finding a repeated joke on anti-joke? Finding a grammatical error on anti-joke.

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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What have the TV programmes Shameless, The Jeremy Kyle Show and Benidorm all have in common? They are all examples of modern British society

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What type of ruler lies? A shatter resistant one

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A jewish lady is cleaning a house to make some extra money. Its great that she can still find work in this economy.

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Roses are Orange Violets are Green I'm Colorblind..

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How do you make a suicide jumper not jump? Shoot him instead.

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What is a question?

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Two men are walking along the Great Wall of China. "Do you know how many years it took to build this?" one man asked. "Yes," the other replied. "Me too."

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Why did Jimmy fall over? Jimmy was hit by a bus.

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Knock, knock Who's there? You're adopted...

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Why does my girlfriend pee standing up? Because he is a man.

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Q: What's pink and fuzzy? A: Pink Fuzz...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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