"hey woody can i ask you a question" "sure buzz" "why is it your name is woody but they use me as a vibrator"

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Im going to the patriots jets game this year..... When the kick a feild goal and you see two kids wearing lime green holding up a poster that says BRADY LIKES SAGGY BALLS that will be me and my friend -RT

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What did the Brontosaurus say to the Triceratops? Nothing. Neither of them have ever existed.

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What did the black kid get for his birthday? Yo bike!

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What did the hobo say while giving birth? bob come over here and hold my third leg for me??

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What does an owl and a mole have in common? They both live underground, apart from the owl

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What do millions of men give their girlfriends every Christmas? AIDS.

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what did the robot say to the centipede. Stop being a centipede!!!! Its funny because robots have arms.

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Did you hear about the Nun in the Twin Towers? Yeah, she died too

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Why did the 15 year old girl not enjoy her taco? Because the man making her taco was kid napped and replaced with a female that forgot to put cheese on it.

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a man was cooking a tortilla. what did he say when he dropped it while flipping the tortilla? oops i dropped my tortilla

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A father teaches his son to ride a bike. Father: Don't stop or you'll fall. Son: Ok, dad. They have a nice time,

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So this guy is waiting for a heart transplant. He dies.

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Want to hear the best joke ever? Me too.

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Knock knock. "Whose there?" "Dave" Oh alright Dave, two seconds I have got to unlock the door~looks for and finds keys and unlocks door~ Hello Dave, sorry mate not been out yet so not been out, come in.........

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Why couldn't little Tiffany play kickball with the other kids at recess? I chopped her legs off.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm going to murder you Did you look behind you?

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My grandmother just called to tell me she was dying................. to have sex with me.

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The WNBA.

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Q: What is green, jumps and says i'm a frog? A: A frog that talks

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Whut r bacer dew? Eh muphin

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Q: What's black and doesn't work? A: My old, broken-down piano.

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Three children had stumbled into an old cottage where they were met by a wizard. The wizard pointed out a slide in the corner of his cottage. He told the children that they could each go down the slide and that they could shout out a word while sliding. He told them that what ever they shouted, they would land in a pool of it at the bottom of the slide. So the first child began sliding and shouted out "GOLD" and sure enough he landed in a large pool of solid gold. Due to its extreme hardness the child was killed immediately on impact.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Slowly being tortured to death.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops