when god gives you lemons you better hope he also gives you sugar or your lemonade is going to suck

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What do you call a truck full of dead babies? Not enough.

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A van drives into a car.

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? ghuieruioytidhfdvbshdkhfjh

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What song does the lady camel sing to seduce male camels - my humps my humps my humps my humps How did sergay the camel respond? -we dont know. He died a fatal death involving hippos in hula skirts, and flying guavas

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Two giraffes walk into a bar, hit their heads, cracktheir skulls and die.

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What is the difference between baseball and the holocaust? One is a fun sporting event…. The other is baseball.

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Why did the cow say moo? Because all cows say moo

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Yo mama so short, she developed a debilitating neck problem from having to look up at people when talking to them.

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What do you call a man sitting at the bar drinking alone? An alcoholic.

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Why did blonde cross the road? She needed to get to work.

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Why couldn't the dog fetch? It's back legs were useless after it got run over.

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A man goes into a butcher shop and says, "I bet you 350 euro that you can't reach that bit of meat," indicating a cut of beef hanging above him. The butcher looks up and says, "No way." The man says, "Why not?" And the butcher answers, "I have a huge gambling addiction, after losing my family to it, this job is all I have left" The man leaves, ruing the silly bet he had placed.

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What did the banana say to the other banana? We're both marshmallows

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Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, your wife and kids die.

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What do call a spoon that doesn't work? Broken.

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If you have three ice-cream cones, and you give away two, how many do you have left? Why would you give away your ice-cream? Eating it is the better option.

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What did the duck with one leg say to the pirate? Woof.

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Why did the bartender refuse to let the black man in ? Because the bar was about to close.

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Why is Michael J. Fox so good at shake-a-weight? He is in shape.

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A man walked into the woods with alzheimers......pancakes

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What do you call a gay dinosaur? a mega sore ass

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What's brown and sticky? A stick. What's green and shitty? A bootleg stick.

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Some guy pretends to be Santa on the street. He touches a little girl and says "It's okay i'm Santa" So the pedophile Santa molestes the little girl. The little girl goes home and says that Santa touched her so the parents go looking for this guy. And then they find out he died of a heart attack.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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