Knock knock! Who's there? Hitler, time to shower!

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? It wasn't. Six and seven are numbers, and cannot feel emotions such as fear.

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What did Al gore say after he sold his TV Station to Arab Oil Money? HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. CHA-CHING!

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Why was the man thought to be peculiar? Because he had sex with a pistachio.

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roses are red violets are black why is your chest as flat as my back

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obama is a good president

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two muffins are in a oven the one muffin says jee its hot in here and the other muffin says wow a talking muffin

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Hi there! As the Director of Anti-Joke, I would like to thank the users for their contributions so far. We are currently raising money in order to gradually end our dependence on advertisements for revenue. Your participation is so important to us, and in order to continue our service we request a minimum donation of $100 for continued use of the Anti-Joke website. Please submit your payment by the end of November 2012. All major credit cards are accepted, as is PayPal. Thank you again for your cooperation and understanding as we grow in our services.

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how do you kill a blonde?? put a scratch n sniff on the bottom of a pool

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What do you do when a elephant is sitting on your fence? You hit it with a fridge

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What do the Chinese call ping pong? Ping pong.

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roses are red violets are blue tis poem makes no sense so screw you

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the other day i saw a mouse run across my floor. i said "okay" and proceeded with my life

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Wanna hear a dirty joke? A little boy falls into the mud Wanna hear a clean joke? He takes a bath with bubbles Wanna hear a dirty joke? Bubbles is Michal Jackson.

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how do u make an infant cry? hit it in the face with a full grown salmon.

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yo' momma's so fat that when she saw a doctor he told her that she was overweight.

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Chuck Norris was in a staring contest with the sun. He's blind now.

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A boy and his dad are in bed and his dad is telling him a story. And the cow told the farmer to get out of the bar. Now, what did the farmer say? Holy shit a talking cow!

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How many police does it take to change a lightbulb? None, they all beat the room for being black.

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How do you know a blonde's been in your refrigerator?? There's lipstick on the cucumber!

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Some guy stapled it to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? A terrorist threw a refrigerator at it. Why did the girl fall off her bike? She was hit by 3 dead monkeys and a refrigerator.

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Humans and dolphins are the only species who have sex also for enjoyment.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a bar of soap? You don't rub your balls with a Jew.

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What does a sock, pillow and a lamp have in common? -they all live underwater expect for the sock, pillow and lamp -Matt

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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