If you give a mouse a cookie... you're destroying their natural diet.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Tulips can be of multiple colors.

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Why couldn't the young pirate get in to the movie? Because he wasn't old enough.

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What did the Lightning Bolt say to the Thunder Cloud? WATTSup?

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was a convicted rapist.

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I got pissed off at my little brother... So I threw him out of the window.

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I never knew I was dyslexic. Then one day I showed up to a toga party dressed as a goat.

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Why was segregation made Illegal? because its more fun to break the law

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A priest, a rabbi and a proctologist walk into a bar. Why is there a bar lying in the middle of the sidewalk?

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Yo mama so fat she was diagnosed with diabetes and now has to regulate her daily intake of foods.

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Why did the chicken cross the road. To get to the other side. Original anti joke.

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Why are fire trucks red Well fire trucks have 4 wheels, and they have 8 people in them, 4+8, is 12, there are 12 inches in a foot, a foot is a ruler, Queen Elizabeth was a ruler, Queen Elizabeth was a boat, boats sail the seven seas, fish are in the seven seas, fish have fins, the Finns defeated the Russians, Russians are red, And that is why fire trucks are red.

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That awkward moment when a loved one dies.

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A man in a wheelchair walks into a bar... ...wait a second.

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Q: What did the Goth-Punk girl write on her test for the question "What are three kinds of rock?" A: Igneous, Sedimentary, & Metamorphic, She is a 4.0 Geology Major attending a respectable University. She simply chooses to express herself through the musical and clothing trends that emerged in 1970's English underground music. In reality it her personal preferences in the aforementioned areas have no bearing on her intellectual or academic standing.

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your momma is so stupid it took her 2 hours to watch 60 minutes

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What is a pirate's favorite movie? A pirated movie.

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What do you do if Zombies are chasing you and your friend? Trip the friend.

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selena gomez & justin beiber go in space. selena says im hotter than the sun. the way she knows this information is that she is near the sun at this time justin beiber has already drifted off in space.

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What do u when life gives u lemons? U put them in your iced tea.

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What did the clock say to the book? I have no batteries.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was tomato...

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What's big, red and eats rocks? A big, red Rock-Eater

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Whats red and crawls up your leg? A homesick abortion.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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