What did the mute child say to his parents for the first time? "My head hurts" Doctors later found he had hypertensitive heart disease and an aneurysm in his brain. He died later that month.

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how did little johnny die? i killed him

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Potatoes have skin. I have skin. Therefore, I am a potato.

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Why did Sally cross the road? Because a rapist was chasing her

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Did you hear about the fire in the shoe factory? All the inventory was destroyed.

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I walk into Tesco and wrestle an obese women for a packet of ''Mini's Biscuits''. This quarrel was over nothing but a trolley filled with them. I gradually became infuriated. Meanwhile, an employee commited suicide.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was making a suicide attempt.

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What do you call a black priest? Holy shit.

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What's funnier than an knock knock joke???? Dancing narwhals pooping talking soup

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Why do girls wear perfume? Because they smell and they're ugly

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What did the pirate say to the ninja? I have aids.

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What is red and has wheels? Grass, I lied about it being red and having wheels.

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Q: Whats the difference between a lamborghini and a pile of dead babies? A: I don't have a lamborghini in my garage.

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Q. Why did the Muslim go to hell? A. Because his name was Osama Bin laden.

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Q: What did zero say to the eight? A: Nice belt

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What's the best thing about shrimp? It never goes bad.

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what's the worst way to fall asleep? sad. it makes you lose sleep.

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hey i just met you and this is crazy but here is my gun so get in the van

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Bill Walters from across the street. How are we talking through a door?

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what you get time to go with? - a clock

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Wanna hear a funny joke? I can't think of one at the moment...

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What do you call an overly-sexual, chewbacca-like creature that smokes cocaine and shoots heroin, while beating its offspring? Mom.

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Why did the bartender leave the bar? He worked really long hours and finally needed some time to sleep.

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There is a newly wed couple, a biker and his biker lady friends. The newly wed man says to his wife, "Pass the honey, honey". One of the biker chicks looks over. Five minutes later the man says to his wife, "Pass the sugar, sugar". They biker chick looks back at them and then asks the biker man, "Why don't you treat us like that?" " You know your right. Pass the bacon... lovely". And from that day on the bikers lived in peace and harmony.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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