How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

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Nigel Farrage and the concept of UKIP.

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What do A Canary and a Groundhog have in common? Nothing, Groundhogs can fly, and Canaries can't dig.

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what said the girl when the roof collapsed over her nothing she died

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A baby tastes grapefruit juice for the first time. She is allergic and immediately begins convulsing and dies.

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Whats the difference between a black guy and a retard? NOTHING!!!!!!

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I was walking down the street then my hands were itchy so I stuck em in my pockets Jk, I'm a donkey. We don't have hands

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Why don't jews believe in Jesus Because jews believe Jesus Christ was not their savior

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A man finds out he was molested by his father as a child.

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what will you do if you become a ruler of the world? Waking up, its just a dream GET REAL!

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Two cows are out in a field grazing. One falls over and dies because it was unhealthy and was ravaged with a deadly disease. The other cow, which does not understand death, continues to graze until the farmer moves it back to the barn.

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Why did the boy fall of the swing? He had no arms or legs

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Who do you call when there is a ghost in your house? You should problably call the doctor, you may be hallucinating.

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What did the coat say to the dog? Nothing, the coat was inanimate

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Two blondes were in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their car with a coat hanger. They had left the keys inside and no-one was around to help.

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Why was the boat red and sticky? A boy dropped his slurpee. What were you thinking?!

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Why did the man complain of pain in his ankle? Because several consecutive tissue samples of the area revealed a rapidly metastasizing neoplasm. Blood samples indicated the presence of what appeared to be Hodgkins Lymphoma. The man was very wealthy, however, and had world class doctors treat him and got better.

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What did the pear tree say to the farmer? Go harvest that corn over yonder.

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is it normal to be sexualy atracted to numbers?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To run away from the slaughter house.

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What do you call a deer with no eye? No eye deer ( get it, it's like the red, necked southern speaking states )

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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Romney: I think you would raise our debt and make more Americans jobless. Obama: It's just cuz I'm black!

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Why did she fall again? Because somebody put her back on. Why wasn't she able to hug her dad? Because she has no dad.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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