A n antelope walks into a bar and many people leave for the sake of their safety and animal control gets called to escort the antelope out of the bar.

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Q: where was Johnny during the bombing? A: everywhere

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How do you get a guitar player to play softer? Ask them politely to turn down their volume.

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Why did the black man smell really bad? A: becuase he ran out of paper

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Hey you wanna hear a joke? Sure! Well first, do you want part of my sandwich? No thanks.........Are you going to tell your joke? Joke? Um sure. I didn't know I was telling one. Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have Alzheimer's. Would you like part of my sandwich?

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Why was the kid happy? Because it was his birthday.

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-Knock Knock -Who's there? -Traveling Salesman.

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i like my women like i like my coffee...big boobs

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Why won't lance Armstrong survive 2012 Because he has cancer

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Q: What happened when the rich man got married? A:His wife stole everything he had and left him a cold and broken man.

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Person 1: I need an adult.... Person 2: I am an adult. Person 1: I need another adult... Person 2: My friend's an adult too. Person 1: I need a third adult Person 2: GOD UR NEEDY!

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What did the dyslexic say to the nun? When I write, I typically misplace letters in words.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7... Because 7 raped her little sister

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What did the Vampire say to the pastor? Nothing. You have to be real to talk

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Roses are red, violets are blue, whoever met you is a BIG fool

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How many ears does Chuck Norris have? Two.

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What did the man who brutally raped and murdered his infant daughter say? He didn't.

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What is a gremlin's favorite snack? Gremlins aren't real.

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Patient: I thonk I'm gonna die Doctor: well will ya hurry up and die already? I've got to treat a kid with a paper cut.

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What's black and white and red all over? A mime lying in a pool of blood.

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A woman says Renae has a butt... Two men say we don't care we have her hammer. True story.

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What is long, hard, cries a lot, and can't fall down a man-hole? A baby with a javelin through its neck.

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Q: Why do Mexicans love rice and beans? A: Because it's fairly easy to grow in places with relatively low rainful and high temperatures like that in which they live in.

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Why did the cow cross the road? Because he escaped the farm and didn't know what else to do.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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