When life gives you lemons, chuck them at the creepy man across the block.

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A horse walks into a bar. "Why the long face?" the bartender asks. The horse kills everyone in the bar and stampedes the other horses into town.

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Jeff goes to the store, Helen Keller.

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Just the other day there was a house, and unforunatly Bob was a burn victim, the doctors said that he would have had a slow and excruciatingly painful death... Luckily he was already dead!

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Why was six afraid of seven? Seven was black

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Why wasn't the man able to see his son? He got run over by a train. Knock knock Who's there? The man. He was kidding about being run over.

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why did the guy get pulled over he had a broken tail light

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What do you do when your dishwasher isn't working? Beat it senseless, and then tell your wife you need a new one.

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I dream of a world where chickens can cross the road and not have their motives questioned.

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Why did the Harry Potter fan cry in school? She ran out of tampons.

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What is Ron afraid of? Spiders!

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How types of people are there? One, we are the only homo sapiens.

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THAT'S RIGHT, BEST INVISIBLE PAINT I EVER BOUGHT. LOOK WHAT A GREAT JOB IT DID ON THIS PAGE YEAH! I RECKON IT IS THE BEST INVISIBLE PAINT I EVER DIDN'T SEE

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What do you call a handsome nerd? The name that is on his birth certificate.

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2 guys walk into a bar the third one ducked

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How do u kill a horse? U stab it with a huge butcher knife

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What's worse than being held hostage? Waking up and finding dick your mouth

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Your dad is so fat, that eventually he got on Biggest Loser and ended living a very successful life.

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Doctor, Doctor, I feel like I don't know anyone... Uh...who are you?

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What's worse than waking up with a clown in your bed? Waking up with a dead clown in your bed.

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A white,mexican and asian man are walking together on the beach. They find a genie lamp and the genie says"since there are 3 of u u each get one wish" the black man says " i wish that all the mexicans would go back to mexico. " the asian man says " i wish all the asians would go back to asia" and the white man says " wait so the mexicans and asians arent in america right?" the genie said "that is correct!" the white man says " oh ok ill just taqke a coke then!"

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What do you call 100 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean 100 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean

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A panda walks into a bar, orders some bamboo shoots, and bamboo leaves, and eats them

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What's the difference between Hitler and shit? Shit has a shower in the morning.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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