What does does an elephant and a grape have in common? They are both grapes except for the elephant.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why was the student late for class? Because paraplegics can't drive.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

A Haitian walks into a bar. It collapses.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding two worms in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? Nothing he died.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How many sheets did the Asian want on his bed? "You sheet on my bed I kill you!"

thumb_up thumb_down -17

I agree Detroit sux. But the bulls suk too ya know

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Whats the difference between a lemon and an ant? They're both yellow except for the lemon.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A guy walks into a restaurant and sits down only to realize he is not wearing any pants. Immediately the police are called and arrest the man for indecent exposure. Given there were children in the restaurant at the time, the man is also charged as level 3 sex offender and is held on $100,000 bail. His family receives the news and become the talk of the town. His wife commits suicide from embarrassment, leaving her 10 year old son up for adoption who later gets involved with drugs due to his rough childhood.

thumb_up thumb_down -57

A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do you get when you put a woman in a room with 4 guys? She gets Gang Banged.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Where did Suzy go after the explosion? - Everywhere.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

why did stacey marry bally because she loves him

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A woman walks into a bar. She is pregnant and gives her baby fetal alcohol syndrome.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

why did the man take a poo because his rectum exploded

thumb_up thumb_down -8

If a guy has a sex change what is the first thing he would say? Boobies!

thumb_up thumb_down -26

have you ever tasted ethiopian food? ..... neither have they

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What would a prostitute do if she was given a million dollars? She would probably diversify her portfolio. First, she would pay her rent. She would buy some groceries and a present for her mother. She would then invest it in stocks and low-yield bonds. She would they buy a vehicle. This win might not affect her continuance in her job.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How did the boy compliment the girl? He told her she had a lot of breasts. In return, she told him he had many penises.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

the joke below will not be as funny as this one.... hahaha other joke i just ruined you

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A: Knock Knock! B: RING THE DOORBELL YA DUMMY

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Did you hear about the man who discovered the secret to making women happy? Neither have I.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Salad. It's green and so is The Hulk.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Two Chav's jump off a cliff who wins? Neither, the affects of gravity are equal despite the weight of said object.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops