how do you kill a blonde? -a gun, knife or any other lethal object

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Why was the homeless man begging for money? Because he needed money to buy liquer for his severe alcohol addiction that was slowly destroying his liver.

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You know what rhymes with school? Hell.

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What did winter say to summer? Nothing. Seasons are physically incapable of speaking because they are not living things. They are simply an idea made by humans to explain why the weather changes as the sun spins around the earth.

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your mom gave me head.....phones

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Yo mommas so fat they had to change 'one size fits all' to 'one size fits most'

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What do you call an Arab with a long beard? An Arab with a long beard you stereotypical piece of crap.

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A Jew, an African American, and a homosexual are on an island. They all came to Manhattan for different reasons and are enjoying the lives they've built there.

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Math mean: mental, abuse, to, human

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What's black, white, black, white, black, white, and red? A horse with it's heard chopped off.

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what did the chinese guy say to the black guy? hello

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Why is the boy lying down on the floor? The chandelier fell on him.

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What did Britney Spears say to the Mexican? Hit me baby Juan more time.

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What is funnier than dead babies? Dead babies aren't funny, Carlos Mencia and Tom Bergeron are funny.

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whats round red and taste like candy? such a thing doesn't exist

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Knock knock. Who's there? The Door! He then broke down into tears as the nightmares from his schizophrenia had lead to a severely crippled mental state.

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What does a gay horse eat? Other gay horses.

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Yes. Just Yes.

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roses are red violets are blue get out of my face before i kill you

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A horse walks into a bar. The Bartender says "Why the long face?" The Bartender is then put into a lunatic asylum for hallucinating and trying to communicate with said hallucinations.

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3 women are on a plane. One blonde, one brunnete, and the other a red head. The pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. The 3 women find out that there is only one parachute in the plane. The plane crashes and they all die.

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs going down a mountain? A: As good as dead.

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Why can't Hellen keller drive? Because she's a woman.

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Your momma is so fat that she is a plus size model and gets paid very well for modeling. Good for her.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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