So a mouse walks into a bar....the bartender immediatly kills it because he doesn't want another C rating by the sanitation department.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

A patient goes to the doctor. The doctor says I have bad news and even worse news. The patient says "What's the bad news?" The doctor says "You only have 24 hours to live." The patient says "Oh my gosh what could possibly be worse than that?!" The doctor says "Well...we've been trying to contact you since yesterday..."

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A man hanged himself, leaving a note. Nobody found him, nor the note. Nobody cared for him.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Im black and want attention. I also love fried chicken and love Africa call for a good, African-American time..... Im black 4025406623

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Creationism.

thumb_up thumb_down -65

When is a door not a door? When it was never actually a door in the first place and you just thought, for whatever reason, that i was.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into a worm and finding an apple

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Hey, wanna hear a penis joke? Nevermind, it's too long.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why are soccer players sad? They couldn't play Football.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

so little jonny was doing bad in school like always so he decided to drop out and now he cant get a job and will have a terrible life and die alone

thumb_up thumb_down -6

24

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What happened to the power lifter that tried to deadlift 920 lbs while wearing nothing but his briefs? he succeeded because he is trained power lifter.

thumb_up thumb_down +54

A priest, a pedophile and a rapist walk into a bar. He orders a drink.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

this website...

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Two muffins were sitting in an oven. The first muffin did not look over to the other one and did not talk to it because muffins are objects and do not have the ability to communicate.

thumb_up thumb_down -46

Why did the aeroplane engine fallon the house? Because of Donnie Darko

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Yo momma is so poor when she went to the bank the teller was like " you have no money."

thumb_up thumb_down -3

How do you stop a plane? Throw flying birds at it.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Q: What do you call a room full of black people? A: A Social Gathering.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Did you hear about the new pirate movie? It was rated PG-13.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

civil rights

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What do you call a man with three arms and three legs and no nose. A highly unlikely instance that no one would believe is real.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What's red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.

thumb_up thumb_down +118

A baby crawls into a bar. He cannot walk.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops