their were 2 muffins. one said hello how are you. the other screamed "A TALKING MUFFIN"

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What's sad about Justin bieber getting thrown off of a cliff Nothing

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Why did the Nazi not help the black man up after he had been badly injured? The Nazi was in a wheelchair.

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A grasshopper hops into a bar. The bartender looks down at him and says "Hey, we have a drink named after you." the grasshopper looks up at the bartender...then proceeds to hop along because Grasshoppers can't communicate with humans. Then several of the bars patrons looked at the bartender, worried for his mental health.

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What do you call someone with no legs nor arms? Mat

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Obama

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Why did the black man have no toes? Because during his climb of Everest, he got frostbite and they had to be amputated.

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What did the mute guy say to the deaf guy? *awkward silence* What did the deaf guy say to the mute guy? *Awkward silence....huh?*

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Why did the vampire die? He had AIDS.

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A momma cow was grazing in the meadow with her three calves when the first one asked, "Mom, how did I get the name Rose? "Well when you were born, a rose pedal came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The second calf asked, "How did I get the name Daisy?" "Well when you were born, a daisy came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The third calf mumbled, "LKJLSKJFSLKJLKSJDF" incoherently, and the Mom responded, "Shut up, Cinderblock."

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why don't you hit a black guy on a bike? because its probably your bike

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Knock, Knock Open the fucking Door

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Why wasn't the black guy allowed into the bar? Because the bar was closed.

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An over weight naked black guy walks into a bank and says "give me all your money!"

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If an iPad 2 is better than an iPad 1, than what's better than an iPad 2? An iPad 3

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How do you kill a bolonde? You have her/him do an algebra problem.

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What's the difference a black person and a park bench? A park bench is a object and a black person is human.

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What's the best way to suprise your friend? Shove a banana up his ass.

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What's funnier than a dead baby? An episode of 'Friends'.

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if justin beiber was dating a girl what would you call him? a lesbian

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Q:What did a young Arnold Schwarzenegger say when his friends wanted to play a game pretending to be 18th century composers? A: "I'll be Mozart!"

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What do you do when you see a black man with half a head? Stop laughing and reload

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Why don't women have breasts? Because they have dandruff. Get it? Hint: "dandruff" = "dan druff"

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The knocking didn’t cease. It grew harder as the voice grew louder. “Let me in! Let me in! LET ME IN!” The knocking grew so fierce it could have shattered the door. Tears leaked from her eyes. “What do I do,” she thought “should I open the door?” The knocking was more than she could bear. “I know you’re in there, Kat.” it said. Her stomach twisted, her breath caught in her throat, and tears now streamed down her face. “Go away!” she shouted finally. “Let me in!” it screamed in response. “Leave me alone!” she cried. The voice and the knocking echoed in her head, making her more nauseous than before. Reaching for the lock hesitantly, she sucked up her tears and held her breath, unlocking the door and throwing it open. Nothing was there. The tree stood in the yard unmoving, no wind. Nothing. She shut the door, shaking in fear. With the click of the lock, the room grew cold. Goose-bumps covered her skin. “Thank you for letting me in.” a voice whispered behind her.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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