My dad weights 350 lbs. He decided to switch to diet soda.

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A young boy is crying in the park, when priest walks up to him -What's the matter son? -My parents died in a horrible car accident 2 weeks ago and now i'm held in an abusive household.

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What do you get when you mix Jabba the Hut with a hen? nothing, genetically they are unable to reproduce due to the disproportionate number of chromosomes and DNA

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what are the three types of rings? -wedding ring -engagement ring -suffering

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Why did the addict choke himself with a trash bag? His family couldn't afford a funeral and it was the quickest way to disappear.

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What is small, green, lives 10 meters under the ground and eat rocks? The little green rock eater!

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Wats worse than bitting into apple and finding a worm Bitting into an apple and finding an alligator

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How do you have sex with an amputee? stick it in the eyes

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a white guy walks into a black guy bar who walks out. A. half black half white baby.

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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Your mom is so fat that her Body Mass Index is 30,?which is considered obese, she should really try to lose some weight.

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So a woman is in the kitchen. And she makes the most delicious turkey salad for her 4 hungry children and her husband. They love Jesus

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whats worse than fining 7 dead babies in 1 trash can? finding 1 dead baby in 7 trashcans!

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How do you escape from being enlisted in the army of your nation? Flee to a different country and bring along your valuables.

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What do you call a tree with all of it's branches down? A tree with all of it's branches down.

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What did the little boy get for Christmas? Nothing, hes Jewish.

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A women was driving along in her brand new, swanky, red ferrari when she spotted a red light in the distance. She stopped steadily, following the rules of the road. All of a sudden a loud bang came from behind her where a young driver had hit her at 50 mph. They both come to an abrupt stop and exited their vehicles. The women says "Idiot, you just hit me!" The boys says "oh don't worry, I have insurance."

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What smells, tastes, and looks like trash? Garbage.

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What s faster than a black guy with a TV? His brother with a VCR.

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so a mom is like so what you want hunny and the dad goes like you baby bahahahahaa get it?

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A man walks into a bar. Several hours later he staggers out and drives into an oncoming school bus, killing all occupants. He survives to live with the grief for the rest of his life and attempts to commit suicide several times.

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What do you call ten black men running down the street? A race.

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Two gay guys are cuddling in a park when they spot a hot, busty blonde jogging near them. One turns to the other and says, "Damn... It's days like this I wish I was a lesbian."

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You know what makes me smile? Face muscles.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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