Q: Who followed E.T.A Hoffman? A: ASAP Rocky. (ETA and ASAP are both time-based abbreviations, ETA meaning 'estimated time of arrival' and ASAP meaning 'as soon as possible'. Thus, ASAP can form a response to a requested ETA. Additional humour comes from the dissonant occupations of the two individuals: E.T.A Hoffman being a nineteenth century gothic author, and ASAP Rocky being a modern rapper.)

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What did the dog say to its owner? well as you can see it is physically impossible for a dog to speak english or any other langueges such as french, spanish or chinese.

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take out the f in way. there is no f in way. I see what you did there.

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A blonde rubs a lamp hoping to find a genie that will grant her 3 wishes. It didn't happen.

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Q: What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? A: We are both lawyers.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, I was asking you.

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??????????? ??????????????? "Hello, idiot teacher! You eat milk."

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What happens when you throw a green rock into the Red Sea? It gets Wet.

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What does a duck have in common? The further it flies the more.

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Chuck Norris. Alright come in.

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who can be more evil than the person who hit my nuts. Adolf Hitler.

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Do you like flowers NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO NOW GET ME A COKE! And a pizza

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What did the black man say to the asian man? Whats up man!

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What do you get when you cross an alligator and a kangaroo? Nothing. An alligator is a reptile and a kangaroo is a mammal, therefore it is impossible for them to breed.

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Roses are grey Violets are gray Imma dog

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Knock knock. Come in.

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How do you get a Mexicans attention? By calling him by his name.

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Q: A Blonde and a Brunette fall of a building which one hits the ground first? A: The Brunette because she ways 200 pounds and the Blonde weighs 100.

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What is stupid? I would say you but these jokes are worse.

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How many alzheimers patients does it take to change a light bulb? How many? How many alzheimers patients does it take to change a light bulb?

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Did you hear about the blind carpenter who picked up his hammer and saw? Did you hear about the deaf shepherd who gathered his flock and heard (herd)? If you don't understand these, use your dictionary and look up the words "blind," "deaf," "saw," "heard" and "herd." http://gpsphone-tracker.com/

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Q: What's worse than dropping your phone in water? A: Throwing water at your phone.

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Johnny walked up to his teacher one day and asked her to explain to him how babies were made. She instead whispered back to him, "Let me show you". He declined, because he wasn't prepared to be a father.

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Why does Ray Charles always smile? Because he doesn't know he's black.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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