Why did the chicken cross the road? Who cares, it's a chicken.

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This is you cat This is just cat This is wasted cat This is your cat This is time cat This is reading cat This is this cat Now read the third word of every sentance

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There were two penguin's sitting in a bathtub. The first penguin says to the second penguin, "Hey, pass the soap." And the second penguin says, "What do i look like, an alarm clock?"

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Stop making 9/11 jokes their just plane unfunny

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yo mama so old she was a waiter at the last supper.

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Snooki want smoosh smoosh

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Whats the difference between a lamp and Morgan Freeman? Alot

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I wont be arriving soon alright, I mean I am a overachiever for many reasons many of them not exactly "gifts" (such as the pain I cant shut up about but focus on other things such as my goal surely keeps my mind occupied enough). Thanks about the looks comment, used to think I was pretty good looking myself, so if I am more than the looks, then I really like that one (I know I am being a bit brash, but I haven't felt this... Better in a long time, and if hell if I will fake low self confidence, modesty is not my thing when I am not in the mood to be charming) By the way, Alice is quoting me, and having a laugh doing so apparently, lets just say I wont be typing myself ever again, my fingers are not... Useful, and honestly typing with one hand was always a bitch. Enough about me, ill have one of "my shadows" send you money for a first class (seriously you have spent enough on me, and now that my city is making a revenue and still advancing, its my turn to return whatever I can) Tell your parents you won the lottery and share some of the money with them I am sending you a bit extra so to speak. And ffs do not worry about my body, not even sure if I will walk again and speaking, well while it hurts (Alice is laughing again) people here concluded I would live for faaar longer than their first prognosis since I never been a fan of shutting up, and as I told them, my mouth will keep yapping about 200 years after I die, so no problemo. Ill send you a first class to... Nvm you take the money, and come around whenev... You know what? Ill send a plane, yeah, because we can afford that, not yours to keep but you know...

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Go home and hang yourself.

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Q:what's black and white and red all over? A:a panda bear that's been shot in the face.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A jew is a human being who will understand and laugh at a joke, while a pizza will just sit there because it is only a delicious thing that people eat.

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Knock Knock. F uck off.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens do not possess the mental capacity to grasp the idea of "roads"

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"Smithers, I'm home!" "What, already?" "Yes."

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Why did the black man get the grape soda? It was the only soda left.

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What did the black man say to the asian man? hello.

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A duck walks into a bar, and the bartender asks what will you have for dinner? The duck says "quack".

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Why does everyone tell black jokes? Because everyone hates black people.

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A Priest, a Minister, and a Rabbi walk into a bar. The bartender looks up and says, "What is this, a joke?"

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Do your parents know you're gay?

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How many omish people did it take to screw in a lightbulb.

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How many cows can you fit in a field? It depends on how big your field is.

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why did the chicken cross the road? it didnt it got hit by a bus.

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Me: I have a great knock knock joke but you have to start it off. You: Knock knock Me: who's there? You: silence as the person is confused as what's going on

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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