Whats worse then getting shot in the leg? Getting shot twice in the leg

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How do you say hooker in Chinese? ?

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A black man boards a plane. He enjoys the rest of the flight in first class.

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Why does no one we talk about Nagasaki, they got bombed too...

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A Priest and a Rabbi pass a Muslim boy sleeping on the street. The Priest remarks "What a tragedy"; the Rabbi agrees and they both open non-denominational homeless shelters in their temples.

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What did the police officer say to the bank robber? You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to speak to an attorney, and to have an attorney present during any questioning. If you cannot afford a lawyer, one will be provided for you at government expense.

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How many gay men does it take to screw in a light bulb? One. He was happy to do it.

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A plane crashed. The pilot was some sort of food, like a loaf of bread or a salad. Neither of which can fly a plane or do much of anything-- like get a plane to move in the first place, let alone take off.

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A plane carries 500 bricks. 1 falls out. How many bricks are left? 499. How do you put an elephant in a fridge in 3 steps? Open the fridge, put in the elephant, and close the fridge. How do you put a deer in a fridge in 4 steps? Open the fridge, take out the elephant, put in the deer, then close the fridge. The Lion King is having a party. All the animals are there except for one; who is it? The deer: He is still in the fridge. An old lady is crossing a swamp, but it is a crocodile swamp. How does she cross? Normally, all the crocodiles are at the Lion King's party The old lady dies at the edge of the swamp. How? A brick falls from the sky and kills her.

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Knock knock. Who's there. Alex. Alex who? Your brother Alex. Oh, please come in.

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whats older than your mom? a tortoise that has been living more than a couple hundred years

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Why do Squirrels accidentally plant millions of trees. Because they bury their nuts and forget where they are.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was jewish and saw a nickel on the other side

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a black guy a white guy and a spanish guy walk into a bar, after they left the bar they became good friends despite thier differences.

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The police shouldn't have cars. They should use skateboards and use flowers as their gun. When they catch a criminal in the act, they have to hug him before sending him to prison

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Why did the dead chicken cross the road? It didn't. It was dead.

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how many pancakes does it take to get fat if u answered this question your already fat

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Why did Maggie shit herself? Because she saw her son.

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Q: How do you make a fireman cry?? A: Drown his wife

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Q: whats worse than getting aids? A: Giving your mom aids.

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Real jokes.

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Your Mom... is a very nice lady who makes good cookies

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Why was the white man arrested? He was a rapist.

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What has 5 legs, 4 eyes, and 8 stomachs? Nothing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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