Your momma is so fat that she's developed a cardiovascular disease and has 5 weeks to live

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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Why is Jesus not real? Because Chuck Norris is still alive.

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Q: A jew and asian and a normal white guy walk into a resturan, who orders the cheapest meal. A: the Asian, its 1940 and the jews dead

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Why was 6 afraid of 7 7 eight 9

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How did the fat guy survive the plane crash? Because he still in the food court at the airport.

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three retards, a Jew, 4 Mexicans, and an Eskimo go to the grocery store. Windex is on sale. The Jew bought artichokes.

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Why did Doris fall down the stairs? Because she was a stupid, uncoordinated old hag with no control over her bladder.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken is now getting flowers for her dead children that got hit buy multiple cars, also the chicken is a human mother.

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What's sad about a pile of dead people? They didn't have life insurance.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? No one is quite sure because technology is not advanced enough for humans to converse with chickens.

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A black man, a Mexican man, a white man, an Asian man, a priest, a rabbi, and a prostitute walk into a bar. It was a very popular bar.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Why didn't the boy get a bike for christmas? He broke the bath tub.

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What did the father tell his son on his death bed? Nothing. He was hit by a car and was now a vegetable.

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A Priest a Rabbi and a duck walk into a bar. The rest of the patrons continue to drink until the situation seems less strange.

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What do you call a white sheep with no legs? A cloud What do you call a black sheep with no legs? A shit.

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What do you call a guy with an axe in his head? Chuck

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What do you call cheese that isn't your's Well it would depend on what type of cheese it actually is

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You can pick your friends you can pick your nose but you cant pick your friends nose.

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into an orange and finding a worm.

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RATE THIS JOKE THUMBS UP FOR TEN COOKIES COOKIES COOKIES COOKIES COOKIES RATE THIS JOKE THUMBS UP FOR TEN COOKIES COOKIES COOKIES COOKIES COOKIES

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Tomorrow, today's yesterday.

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Why did the Christian man dislike gays? Because Christianity views being gay as a sin, and as a follower of the religion he decided he did not like gays.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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