what has two legs and bleeds? half a dog

thumb_up thumb_down +50

Knock Knock Who's there? Father Dougal Mcguire

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why did the plumber kill his family? He wasn't a very good plumber.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

It's the police sir. There's been an accident.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

An alien spacecraft picks up human transmissions from Earth. They continue on in silence and disgust.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why should this joke be funny? It shouldn't, because its an anti-joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's funnier than a dead baby? A lot of things. Dead babies are not funny.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

A mute says to a paraplegic: You can talk the talk - but can you walk the walk?

thumb_up thumb_down +46

The sword that kills, the sword that gives life.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Buy one packet of condoms for the price of two packets of condoms, and you will be given a second packet of condoms ABSOLUTLEY FREE!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

why did the fox jump over the pen ? it was tuesday

thumb_up thumb_down +44

What is worse than being ran over by a bus? Nothing really.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

What do you call a black man standing on top of a church? bullshit!!

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What is the best thing about having sex with twenty-seven year old's? There's twenty of them

thumb_up thumb_down +62

Roses are green Violets are green I'm colour blind Everything is green

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What's black and white, and red all over ? A penguin in a blender.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why do Vampires Sparkle in the Sunlight? They don't read a proper Vampire Novel and see for yourself.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A man yells at the top of the Grand Canyon, "Heyoooooo" He hears His voice echo multiple times. He yells again, "Heyoooooo" This time he hears his echo and a girl yell "heyo" back to him from within the canyon. He looks down. He falls. A mountain goat breaks his fall. The man is so thankful for the goat. He says, " Thank you goat! You saved my life!" The goat then pulls out a gun, and shoots him thrice. The man dies.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

whats the differance between a orange and a dead baby one is a delicious treat the other is a fruit

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Whats the difference between a black guy and a pizza? A black guy is a human being, and a pizza is a food you racist.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

why can't Helen Keller drive? because she's a women

thumb_up thumb_down +16

whats a long boring sotry that no oneever wantsto read? the life of sarah palin.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

How do you know when your sister's on her period? Your dad's dick tastes like blood

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Yo mama's so fat, she has low self-esteem.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops