What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Get in the car.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

thumb_up thumb_down +8

ur mother

thumb_up thumb_down +52

What is worse than getting a 30% on a test? Getting a 29% on a test.

thumb_up thumb_down +69

Two guys walk into a bar. But the third one was a duck.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Roses are red, Violets are blue. I'm locked in someone's basement, Please help me.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Q: How many black people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: One

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Roses are red Violets are blue In Soviet Russia They had communism

thumb_up thumb_down +22

A lion, a leopard, a sheep, and a flesh eating New Zealand parrot stalk, trot and fly, respectively, into a bar. The parrot lands on the the sheep's back and begins to tear into its flesh in order to reach the succulent deposits of fatty tissue located around the sheep's kidneys. "Ouch!" Said the sheep. "Why would you do that? Oh, the pain! The pain!" "Squak!", Replied the NZ parrot, wiping blood of its sharp, hooked beak on the counter. "I think," Began the lion, "This parrot from New Zealand is hungry for fat from a sheep's soft, woolly back." The sheep's wool was now damp with blood. "Perhaps this parrot from New Zealand wants sheep fat from its soft woolly back." "Ah!" Said the sheep. "This parrot from New Zealand wants sheep fat from my soft woolly back!" "Yes", Replied the lion. "You could also say..." Started the sheep, "That an NZ parro-" The sheep did not finish his sentence. He died from his wounds. The lion left. The parrot flew off to tear up some windshield wipers. And the leopard stashed the sheep carcass in a tree branch for later consumption.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

"Knock, Knock" "Go away, I have a lot of stuff to do right now and knock knock jokes suck."

thumb_up thumb_down +84

Why did the man punch NUGE in the face? Because he got angry that NUGE was being such a BA person and he was jealous of NUGE'S style and he just got dumped by his ugly as poop mom which was eating Anti Chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Once upon a time, there was a cat. He died.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

All dead all doom or all dead? How can you choose the question doesn't make sense. dead all dooom ohhhaklsdjfla;ksdjfal;skfjasd

thumb_up thumb_down +52

Why did Silly Billy throw a clock out the window? Because he was stupid.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's black and blue and hates sex? The unfortunate child in a pedophile's basement who the police have yet to find.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

P1 : Yo mamma's so fat... P2: My moms dead

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A man walks into a bar. He breaks his neck and his insurance provider hikes up his interest rate.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

This is not a joke, I'm just bored (or am I?)

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why do black people love menthol? Nobody knows.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

LET

thumb_up thumb_down -18

A japanese man enters a Honda dealership and is approached by an eager salesman. The salesman shows him a few models and then asks him curiously "What do they call Honda in Japan?" The japanese man answered "Honda"

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What happened when the old woman crossed the road? A completely unrelated archery accident lead to the deaths of several people and thousands of dollars of property damage in another part of the country. The woman crossed without injury.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Why did the black guy wear a hat? To keep the sun out of his eyes

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops