A man went to the doctor and told him he was having the strangest dream. "First I was a tee pee Then I was a wigwam A tee pee, a wigwam. Do you have any idea what could be wrong?" The doctor looked at the man and said "You have aids."

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Q: Did you hear the joke about Helen Keller? A: Neither did she...

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? Captchas.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family

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Roses are yellow, violets are grey, I'm colorblind

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Why did Tupac Shakur get shot? He was a famous and very controversial celebrity, which naturally led to having a lot of enemies.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have a gun Get in the van

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What do you get if you cross a horse with a cow? A horse and a cow.

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Why did the girl blush when she opened the fridge? Because she saw the salad dressing

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whats worse than getting no gifts for christmas? getting hit by a bus for christmas

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wounds are red bruises are blue I've got five fingers the middle ones for you

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Jack and jill Went up the hill To go smoke Some marijuana Jack got high Unzipped his fly And asked jill "Do you wanna?" Jill sais "yes" Pulled up her dress And things got real fun But silly jill Forgot the pill And now they have a son

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Knock knock Who's there? Impatient Hellen Keller. Impatient Hellen Keller who? ...

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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Knock knock Whos there Bill O hey bill

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What was wrong with the tree? Nothing

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What happened after the man with no arms and legs lost his keys? He called the police.

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Why did the duck cross the road? Hurricane Katrina

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What do you get when you rape a dead baby filled with jalapeños? A lifetime in prison, and a burning penis.

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Why is the black guy afraid of the white guy? He's not, it's the other way around.

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What did the vegetarian order for lunch? A dead baby.

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Why was Uncle Monty's head damn tasty? Because he shoved it up a horses arse when it needed a shit.

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Know what's funny? Not these jokes!

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Human race: Let's play hide and seek! BOEING MH370: K faggotz :P

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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