A rabbi and a priest walk into a bar and order two beers

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What did Rebecka black say on Thursday? Today is thursday.

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How did the Mexican got into the USA? Trough the border.

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Bob Saget

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If the blue dog falls out of sample object, how many bananas does my mom eat? No, because markers can't talk

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Why do black people have dark skin? Lack of melanin in their skin. You learn something new every day.

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How do you get a black man out of a tree? You help him down.

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Whats more dangerous then a man with a gun? two men with guns.

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How many chickens does it take to cross the road? It only takes 1 chicken to cross the road. You don't need a lot.

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A blond and a redhead are walking down the street the red head says look a dead bird the blond looks up

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Man: What is the meaning of life? God: Buffalo wings. Lots and lots of buffalo wings.

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I asked the librarian for a book on suicide. She said "I'm sorry we don't have those in stock." So I just hung myself.

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1+1=3 If you don't use a condom.

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"hey do you know the date" "58"

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A momma cow was grazing in the meadow with her three calves when the first one asked, "Mom, how did I get the name Rose? "Well when you were born, a rose pedal came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The second calf asked, "How did I get the name Daisy?" "Well when you were born, a daisy came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The third calf mumbled, "LKJLSKJFSLKJLKSJDF" incoherently, and the Mom responded, "Shut up, Cinderblock."

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(warning- this is sort of funny) A mom takes her son to cvs to pick up her pills. Son- Mom whats a pharmacists? Mom- well sweetie its a person who sells people drugs Monday Morning Teacher- Class, did you learn anything over the weekend? Son- Yah, i learned that my mommy has been taking me with her every week, to a person who sells drugs Later that week Teacher- Yes, hi, um your son has told me that you take him to buy drugs with you, i may have to call social services Mom- what? this is a misunderstanding, i go to a pharmacists to buy drugs. That evening Mom-what did you tell your teacher at school Son- you've been telling me that i go with you to buy drugs Mom- baby i need pills, well, because, im sick. Son- ohhhhhhhhhhhh ok At school Teacher- Billy ive called s.s on your mom, u will be living with foster parents Son- ohhhhhhhhhhhh ok Evening Police- ?Ms. Thackery, is this your student. Teacher- Yes Police- His mom has tradgicly died in a pool of tears after finding out YOU called s.s Mom- what? omg. DAMN Police- Im afraid u r under arrest for the cause of his mothers death Class- yayyyyyyy wooo hooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Billy Billy Billy Billy. hip hip hooray Teacher- Damn Son- mommy? Police- ur mommy's dead, sucks right sooooooo here's a box and ten bucks......... go live your life

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Why werent you at my party? Becasue there was none!

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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Dinosaurs are extinct.

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Lil Wayne

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the car? Get in the car, Robin.

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knock knock. who's there? 9/11

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Why wouldn't the baby boy stop crying when the babysitter was in the room? Because he put cigarettes out on him.

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So, this joke isn't funny.

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What do you call an asian guy in a police uniform? A police officer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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