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A man walks into a bar with a frown on his face His dog just died

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Which is Taller ? the Giraffe or the Lion is faster ?

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Bryce Harlan and I are close friends Love, Pete K

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UNICORNZ R PURPUL

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A man walks into the local grocery store on his way to work. He stops by the pastry section to buy a bagel. As he is paying, the cashier says "and here's some blueberries, they're complimentary." The man looks at the blueberries expectantly. When they don't say anything he looks up, feeling foolish, pays for his bagel and heads off to work as a partner in a lawyer firm.

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What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye-patch? Names.

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why did tom shut his bedroom door? grandma was fingering herself

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What is the fastest bird in air? NONE WHO NEEDS TO RIDE BIRDS WHEN YOU HAVE AIROPLANES!!!!

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What's black and white and red all over? A black, white, and red shirt.

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2 gays monkeys walk into a bar.........

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I take the "the" out of Psychotherapist

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What's the difference between chili and a urologist? One is hot and spicy and the other analyzes urine.

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how did the man get down the stairs? he walked.

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How do you stop a friendly bear from bouncing up and down on your front lawn? Shoot it in the neck.

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Two Muffins are in a freezer. The first muffin says "Sure is cold in here." The other muffin sits there untill at a later date eaten because muffins can't talk. The first muffin later is analyzed and dysected by the United States governmant and is classified as alien because again, muffins can't talk.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas ? Cancer

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms

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A man is talking to his friend at work. The man asks his friend, "Did you see the game last night?" Then a plane crashes into the building and we call it 911

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How many dead body can you hide in a hole? 100. Forget the fat guy

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Why couldn't the bartender sell alcoholic beverages? He got fired

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What do you call a black man with a gun? A cop

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What's black, white, and red all over? A zebra that's been brutally cut open.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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