A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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Dwarf Shortage

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When life gives you lemons, That's physically impossible. Life cannot physically hand you lemons.

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why couldnt the little boy watch two and a half men? because charlie sheen left and the other guy had surgeery and now has 2 penises

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i punched my mother in the face once she cried

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How many blonds does it take to kidnap a child? One.

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Wat do u call a 2 root tall scottidh man named max? Max

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so a black guy, an asian, and a scott are sitting at a bar, they drink responsibly, pay their tab, and leave. The evening couldn't have been more pleasant.

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Why couldn't the black man swim? Both of his legs were just eaten by a shark.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was black.

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what do you call a bunch of black people in a pool cocoa puffs

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what do you do when a woman tells you no? cut her tongue out

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-Why did the chicken cross the road? '' I dont know '' -Because it would cross the road and over to you. -Knock knock? '' Who's there?'' - CHICKEN!!!!!!!

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Q: What's the meaning of life? A: Look in a Dictionary.

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What do you call a black man sitting on a porch? Relaxed.

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What's worse than biting into your apple and finding a worm in it? Biting into you apple and finding two worms in it.

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Whats similar between a grape and a duck? They're both purple. except not the duck.

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A man walks into a bar. [Insert punchline here.]

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What do you call a gay scientologist? His first name or last name, depending on how close you 2 are.

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Two penises walk into a minefield. Both are very careful with their every step and try not to be blown.

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An elephant and a hippopotamus were taking a bath. The elephant said to the hippo, " Please pass the soap." The hippo replied, "No soap, radio."

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Who invented the Iceberg Salad? The Titanic

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Why did the suicidal terrorist swim with fish? He heard the SEALS we coming for him.

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What noise does a dead dog make ? Nothing its dead

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops