What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence? About 4:30, unless he's running late, stuck in traffic, had to get gas.

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What did one muffin say to the other? I'm baked... just kidding muffins are food and therefore can not speak

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Slowly being tortured to death.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens have 2 legs

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why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? because i shot it.

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What does it mean when the drummer drools out of both sides of their mouth? That they've may have had a stroke and you should immediately call 911.

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My mum is called Steve

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What is pink and smells like green paint? Pink paint

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i hate it when people repeat the same jokes. i just hate it when people repeat the same jokes.

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What did the deer say to the hunter? Deers are animals, they haven't yet evolved enough to talk..

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What is the difference between a mustache, and a pile of dead babies? Mustaches disgust me.

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Q:What do you call a mexican witha clean record? A: Impossible

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There once was a man from Peru, he couldn't fit into his shoe. He went to Brazil bought a big. Swallowed it and died.

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There once was a man from Nantucket, who had his car stolen and wasn't very happy so called the police.

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I baked you a pie! Oh boy! What flavor? Apple.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? 3, according to Mr. Owl

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Why did the dog in Detroit die in the street? It was stabbed.

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What's the difference between a screwdriver and DJ Pauly D? One's a tool and one is an inanimate object.

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Committing Suicide #YOLO

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what did the woman say? 'duhhh, i don't have a penis durr durr' (By the way, I'm trying to be not misogynistic, please let me know if you find this misogynistic in any way)

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What do you call a horse with wings? Nonexistant. Welcome to the real world kid.

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A man realizes the whole time he has wanted to fly like a bird. His funeral was two weeks later

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Hey babe, are you a refrigerator? -No... Good--'cause I wanna f*ck you so hard. Best pickup line. Always works.

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PFF! I hate that shit XD not saying that claymation cant be art, but that Plonsters or whatever is just something I dragged out of my head.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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