how do you fall off a building? you trip.

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Q. What did the dead man do after he died? A. Nothing. He's dead.

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What's the difference between a black man and a park bench? A park bench can support a family of four.

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Why did the boy laugh? Mr Tickle was his babysitter

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Who would win if Chuck Norris and God fought to the death? None they are both fictional.

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Roses are Blue Violets are Red I have Alsheimers... Cheese on Toast

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a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o q r s t u v w x y z i left out p.

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How many one does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

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I was raped the other day... I still did more work than the bitch

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Why was Jim fired from his job at the sperm bank? Continual absenteeism and inconsistent work.

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What's the difference between Stephani and a momma hippo? The mother hippo is slowly but surely losing weight while Stephani is packing on the pounds! :)

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Why did the woman fall off her bike? She got hit by a car door

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What happened when the Mexican lays his head on a pillow? He falls asleep

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Your mom is so fat, she weighs 732 kilograms.

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That awkward moment when... Your mom is a guy.

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Knock knock Whos there? Orphan. Orphan who? Orphan miller. Orphan miller who? Orphan miller jones. Orphan miller jones who? Thats it. Oh okay, I get it you're doing a knock knock joke Yeah. did it go alright? Yeah I guess, untill we started talking in 3rd person.

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A white police officer pulled over a black guy on the highway. The cop asked him for license and registration. The black guy had a tail light out, and was very polite and cooperative. The two became close friends, but then one night, the black guy went to the house of the white cop. The black guy brought his wife and daughter over for a dinner party, eating grilled turkey sandwiches with mayonnaise. When the cop's attractive wife asked the black guy if he would like some fresh watermelon from the patch in their back yard, he respectfully declined, for he needed to return to his own home to patiently wait for a business call from one of his employees, who was also a very intelligent and hard working African male. Once home, the black guy turned on his stereo, to listen to some calming country music at an appropriately low level of volume, as his daughter and wife had gone to sleep, for the wife also had work in the morning, at her law firm, and her daughter had a job interview after her day of classes at Dartmouth were out for the day... then Martin Luther King Jr. woke up from his dream, and was soon thereafter assassinated.

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A Sloth runs...

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Yo momma's so ugly, she decided to get plastic surgery and now has much higher self-esteem.

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Patient: Doctor, I was cleaning my glass eye and accidentally swallowed it. Doctor: OK. Lean over and spread your legs. Patient: (Leans over and spreads his legs). Doctor: My God! This is the first time, in all my years of practice, that I've ever seen an asshole looking back at me!

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Q: What do you get when you cross a cactus and a platypus? A: I was wondering the same thing.

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68

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How do you suppress a black hole? Surround it with white holes

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Whats black and yellow and makes you laugh? A bus full of niggers driving of a cliff

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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