There is no "I" in "TEAM" However, there is a "T" an "E" an "A" and an "M"

If you helped Jack on the horse, would you help Jack off the horse? Of course; if he was too short to climb onto the saddle then it would be irresponsible and potentially dangerous not to help him off. As his riding instructor, you would be liable for any injuries Jack sustained had he attempted to dismount the horse with no assistance.

What did spongebob say to patrick? Im ready! im ready!

What's worse than one bee sting? Two bee stings What's worse than two bee stings? The Holocaust What's worse than the Holocaust? Three bee stings

Why was the man afraid of the fish? He had ichthyophobia.

a man and his son pull up out side b&q and the man says to his son run in there and get me a black n decker and the boy goes in and is standing in the power tools isle and he looks round and there is a lady standing next to him so he hit her, the woman happened to be black and 2 minutes later a security guard rushes round and says son what did u do that for and the son said my dad told me to come in and get a black n decker!

What smells like weed? the person who smoked it.

whats red and bad for your teeth... A brick.

Why did the black man get arrested? He sold cocaine.

sally has no arms knock knock who's there not sally

How do you kill a 1000 Ethiopians? Throw a biscuit off a cliff. JimBoto

What do you call a black person who has fallen? an ambulance

Why did the thief steal the kitchen sink? Everything else was stolen by another thief earlier in the day.

I told my friend one of these anti-jokes, he took it seriously and beat my head with a bat.

A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

What do you call an awesome bucket? An epic pail.

Roses are red, Violets are red, Tulips are red, Dandelions are red, I lit your garden on fire.

What do you call a chicken with the head of a shark? A genetic anomaly.

how long does it take for a black woman to poop? depending on what she ate, about 5 to 10 minutes

a man cries out to god.... and god does't reply.

What did the black man say to the man from Kyrgyzstan? I've never heard of your country before.

One day, a mother was speaking with her daughters. "Mommy," the first one said, "Why did you name me Daisy?" "Because when we brought you home, a daisy petal fell on your head." "Mommy," the second daughter said, "Why did you name me Rose?" ""Because when we brought you home, a rose petal fell on your head." "MMMBWWAAAAGGGH!" the last daughter cried. She was born with severe special needs and is incapable of coherent speech.

yo mamas so fat whenever she wears a pink bathing suit people say "look at that fat lady wearing a pink bathing suit!

What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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