What did the the policeman say to the band member who trashed a hotel room? "You're under arrest" The band member replied "Well, you're under a vest" The policeman reiterates that this isn't the time to be making any jokes and that vandalism is a very serious offence

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A man walks into a bar with a couple of chickens by his side. He sees a man sitting at the bar drinking a beer. The man who's drinking the beer offers the other man a seat, and asks him to join him in the drinking. The other man hardly refuses and takes the glass from the other man and throws it on the with all his power to the floor. The man sitting at the bar asks him why he did it. The man answers: "My chickens don't like beer"

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A black guy and a jew walk into a country club, within minutes, they are told to leave and never come back in order to avoid being contaminated by the radioactive waste left by a landfill company cutting corners in safety regulations

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A man dies from a cat attack. he goes up to heaven. At the gates, St. Peter asks him, " how did you die sir?" The man doesn't reply so Peter says, "cat got your tongue?" "No," he says, "cat got my throat!"

thumb_up thumb_down -4

j.p. is dumb

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Q: What do you say to a person in a wheelchair who fall downs the stairs? A: Nothing because most likely they would take an elevator.

thumb_up thumb_down -44

Why did the bear turn red? Because I fucking stabbed it!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

all muslims get the fuck out of britain you fucks

thumb_up thumb_down -51

What did Little Jojo get for Hanukah? Nothing he is Muslim.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

There are two lawyers about to enter a court room. They look at each other shake their hands and then the defending lawyer smiles and says "I'm Jewish your f*cked"

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What do you get when you cross a rusty nail and a foot? Tetanus

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Q: What did Gaddafi get for Christmas? A: Brain Surgery

thumb_up thumb_down -2

I don't know about the rest of you, but I HATE funerals.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q: What's black and white and red all over? A skunk in a blender.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

If i could rearrange the alphabet I wouldn't put U and I together. I'd put my dick in your mouth.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Tacos

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A van drives into a car.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

what do you call a middle-aged man with one blue suede shoe on, purple hair, pink skin, white eyes, no toenails, 67 fingers, 1 eye, a pocket watch, no clothes, and 8978967564567898765432345678765321234568909876543w245678909876543456098765323456-0987654367890-098765435678-09876543456789098765432345678909876543456789098765435678909876543234567898765323456890-987654345678900987654323456890987653234567890765434568909876543456899876543456789098765434568909876545678987654345678987654567898765434567898765478579458765456789876543223456789876543098765432123456898765432678987654230987653-098765434567898765434898765434567898765456787654567876 butt cheeks? bob.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why is Billy in a ditch? He stepped on a landmine and was promptly burst into many pieces. The ditch was coincidental.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

If monkeys ate trees, than what would trees be made out of? No one knows because that will never happen.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Have you seen stevie wonders house? Nope... Neither has he

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Brett Favre sent me a pic of his penis. I then compared it to my own and felt good about my general ackage size

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What did one potato say to the other. Let's get baked!( hope u dont mind that this isnt a anti-joke well i dont know what it is so sue me)

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Knock Knock Who's there? Xiao Kaan Xiao kaan who? Fu*k you ugly lauuhhh

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops