What do you say on a date with Uma Thurman? Hey Uma, pass the salt.

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What did the fat man say when he saw the giant twinky on the billboard? I wish that twinky was real, because I am too poor to pay my bills, am getting audited, and cannot feed my four children on minimum wage.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? I dont know so why are you asking?

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Why was the white man's baby black? The mother was black.

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A family goes to a talent agency and performs an act. They call themselves the aristocrats

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I took my father out last night. We went to the Olive Garden.

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Why did the gorilla leave the zoo? He didn't, he was released.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?". The horse does not respond because it is a horse thus lacking cognitive capacity to speak nor understand English. It is confused by its surroundings and promptly shits on the floor then gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

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Why did little Jimmy drop his ice cream ? He got hit by a bus.

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Girl: What's up? Guy: If I told you, would you sit on it?

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hey I just met you, and this is crazy. I have alzheimers. Hey i just met you.

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Gauss what ur mama said last night nothing i found her dead

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roses are red violets are blue i killed your family

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How did the dog die? He was put down.

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Q: Why did sally fall off the swing? A: Because she had no arms Knock Knock Who's there Not Sally! How did Sally die? She couldn't figure out how to open the fridge

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Why does beyonce sing "to the left to the left?" cause women have no rights

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a: How can you tell you are not pregnant? b: I don’t know. a: Like this: I’m not pregnant.

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why did the chicken cross the road because he wanted to get to chicken to have safe sex

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Where did Little Sally go after the bombing? Everywhere.

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Why did the black man get shot Cause someone shot him

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LAMBORGHINI MERCY, YO CHICK SHE SO THIRSTY! IM IN THAT 2 SEAT LAMBO WITH YO GIRL... and I'm giving her some Gatorade because it'll quench her thirst but I'm making sure she doesn't spill on my seats because it's new, k

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Why didn't the man go to work on Friday the 13th? Because he was unemployed.

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Q: Why did Rapunzel fall out of the tower? A: Because she was a dumb bitch.

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How many mentally challenged beings does it take to screw in a light bulb? Well one couldn't do it so adding more to the equation will only make it worse sir.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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