Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no hands.

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Wait, I am sleepy as the world which spawned you Nero, but which comment is mine again?

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A hemophiliac walks into a bar. Then he dies of internal bleeding.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was late for its laser bypass surgery.

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it was dead.

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What did the dog say to its anus? Woof

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Why couldn't the Asian man speak in chinese? He never learned chinese

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why did the man have a hole in his face? because syphillis had eaten a hole in it

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Why shouldn't you try to pick up a live scorpion with your teeth? Because it could easily sting your face, or mouth.

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Why was the Muslim crying? Because his brother got hit by a bus.

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Why do guys love to wrestle? They like to have physical contact with other men.

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If you call Dani a dog one more time, lick a gooch nut suckers. XoXo Jamie <3

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Why did the kid punch the other kid. Because he was black.

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Q : Who is the most famous celebrity, Lady Gaga or Justin Bieber? A : Neither, because they are just fads.

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Why did the Nazi shoot the Jew in the head? Because he was a Jew. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

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The young orphan boy had high hopes for this Christmas. When he woke up, he ran to the foot of the tree and saw a large box wrapped with seasonal wrapping paper. He looked at it to see that it was for someone else. The boy recieved nothing for Christmas and was later hit by a bus that had veered off of the road to avoid hitting a dog. The boy is now paralyzed and is extremely disappointed as to how his Christmas had unfolded.

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"Knock knock..." "come in"

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Why couldn't the unicorn fly? It was a horse.

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I'm hungry.

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A bear walks into a bar, and says "I'd like a gin... and tonic." The bartender says "AAAAHHH! A BEAR!!!" and calls animal control. Later after the beast has been tranquilized and carted away, he rationalizes having heard the bear speak as trauma-induced hallucination.

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theres a giant burning orb in the sky and it can burn your flesh, it can give you diseases, it can kill you, looking directly at it causes physical pain, and we all think this is okay. we like this orb. we like to go outside and lie around on our backs when this orb is in the sky. children draw cute pictures of this levitating death orb with a smiley face on it. what is wrong with us

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What did the boy without arms get in his Christmas present? A pair of gloves. Just kidding, he didn't open it yet.

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HaHaHaHa... Was the last joke funny? Ya, well this ones not.

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A Rabbi walks into a bar. He does not order any alcoholic beverages, because Orthodox Jews aren't allowed to consume alcohol except for certain times and religious customs.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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