What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Mets.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

A lion, a leopard, a sheep, and a flesh eating New Zealand parrot stalk, trot and fly, respectively, into a bar. The parrot lands on the the sheep's back and begins to tear into its flesh in order to reach the succulent deposits of fatty tissue located around the sheep's kidneys. "Ouch!" Said the sheep. "Why would you do that? Oh, the pain! The pain!" "Squak!", Replied the NZ parrot, wiping blood of its sharp, hooked beak on the counter. "I think," Began the lion, "This parrot from New Zealand is hungry for fat from a sheep's soft, woolly back." The sheep's wool was now damp with blood. "Perhaps this parrot from New Zealand wants sheep fat from its soft woolly back." "Ah!" Said the sheep. "This parrot from New Zealand wants sheep fat from my soft woolly back!" "Yes", Replied the lion. "You could also say..." Started the sheep, "That an NZ parro-" The sheep did not finish his sentence. He died from his wounds. The lion left. The parrot flew off to tear up some windshield wipers. And the leopard stashed the sheep carcass in a tree branch for later consumption.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What is the difference between Steve Jobs and a PC? PC's are not dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What do you get when you cross a cow with an elephant? A deformed organism

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Jennifer walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender's name was Steven. His friend's sister who was my cousin's ex wife has the same name as the girl Jennifer. That's what I heard.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why did the chicken cross the road? WHAT THE HELL DO YOU CARE? LET THE POOR CHICKEN IN PEACE! No, seriously he was going to his mother's funeral.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Q: What's circlular and has two hands? A: A skinny person, i was kidding about the circular part!

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Ok so, we have bread , tofu, coolwhip

thumb_up thumb_down

What do you call shark with no dorsal fin? Unused ingredients for soup.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

A kangaroo walks into a bar and says "Lipstick is the blood of all wounds." The bartender does not know how the kangaroo said this or why.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Yo Momma Is Soooo Fat She Is Highly Obese

thumb_up thumb_down +29

whats worse than 2 jews 3 jews

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What is worse than waking up by your alarm clock on the weekend? 9/11

thumb_up thumb_down +6

The Colts this year.

thumb_up thumb_down

Penis-Pump

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Your mom is absolutely pefect. This makes me love HIM.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why do black men run faster then white men? Because they practice more and some simply want to improve themselves in the sport more then other men. Of course, some white men are faster then some black men, so the whole question in general is not true. You should not believe everything you read on here.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

try this on someone: Knock Knock Who's there? Knock Knock Who's There? Knock Knock They will keep asking who's there while you laugh

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What is worse then dying of testicular cancer? Living of testicular cancer and having one amputated?

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do you call 99 lawyers in a car going off a cliff with no driver and another lawyer running in the other direction? A dick move.

thumb_up thumb_down +61

what's worse than a kitten scratching your arm? A dead baby scratching your arm...

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Two Jews, three Nazis, and a black guy go into a bar. Where they have a spirited debate about Canadian football. And leave without coming to any conclusions.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How many hipsters does it take to change a light bulb? ...You mean, you don't know?

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A dog walked into a bar. He was a trained seeing-eye dog leading a man who had been blind since a tragic industrial accident a year before.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops