Why was the washing machine laughing? Because you're on drugs.

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What's the humor in an elevator? Me jumping up and down yelling we r all gonna die.

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ROSES ARE RED VILOTS ARE BLUE I HOPE YOU KNOW IM A JEW

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nena. nerna. neener. neezie. nena.

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Why did Obama cross the road? Oh, wait, he didn't make it.

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What is cowboy say

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knock, knock who's there? Dave. ....oh well dave's not here man.

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Why didn't suzzana go to school on Monday?? Because it was Sunday...I lied about it being monday

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MWAAHHHHHAHAHHAH

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How many Mexicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? The entire population.

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Why did single women didn't want any babies for? because of Ice Ice Baby.

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What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One's fun to hit with a sledgehammer, the other one's a watermelon.

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Trees are my friends because they welcome me with open limbs.

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How are bananas and friends alike? If you peel their skin and eat them

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a blond goes into a taxi, the driver asks where to my friend , the blond says her desired location, gets droped off and trips, falls on her head, suffers major injuries, dies,weeks later the taxi driver drove the family to the funeral, they walk out and one of of them trips and gets back up...

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The man decides to jump off the bridge and decides to make one last phone call. "Hello, Jane, this is Doug. I just wanted to let you know, from the bottom of my heart, that I love you." Person on the phone says "This is not Jane, this is Joe." "Oh, hi, Joe. Could you just tell your wife what I said. Bye." The man continues to jump down the bridge and swims with his beautiful girlfriend. They all had a great day.

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A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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Roses are red My name is Dave This poem makes no sense Microwave

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Whats white? A fridge

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What is a jew in space? Dead

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was Catholic and was having an identity crisis. Thinking that he was the road, he panicked and crossed himself.

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Your mama's so poor, that it's hard for her to pay her bills.

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What did the ketchup say to the mustard? Nothing they're just condiments.

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How do you make a person cry? You bury them alive.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops