A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A man walks into a bar and breaks his nose, he asks the bartender for help The bartender says "no you're a f***ing idiot"

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What did the black guy say to the japanese ninja with super fighting skills? Nothing, because he neck was sliced before he could.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

why didn't the baby cry once it came out of the womb? because it was a stillborn.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

don't do anything i wouldn't do first

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Ask me if I'm a grapefruit. -Are u a grapefruit? NO!

thumb_up thumb_down -21

A turtle that couldn't swim walked to Japan.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

A man walks off the top of a very tall building. Why did he fall off? Because he was blind

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Mom: Uncle toms coming home from the war Jimmy: What are we going to do Mom: Bury his coffin he hit a land mine .............. Jimmy: ^O^

thumb_up thumb_down

An Italian, a Mexican, and an American are eating lunch on a bridge. The Mexican drops his taco off the side of the bridge and the Italian and American were kind enough to share some of their lunch with the Mexican making it a successful picnic. Their ethnicity was not relevent at all.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's the difference between donuts and dead babies I don't have a pile of donuts in my garage

thumb_up thumb_down -4

. Deez nuts Ok

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the black guy still have price tags on his clothes? He forgot to take them off.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's the difference between 10 dead babies and a Lamborghini? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage..

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Two hillbillies are sitting in a van. It's friday and one of them suggests they should play a game of 20 Questions. The other one agrees. The first hillbilly thinks of the word 'donkey dick'. - Is it something you can eat? the second hillbilly asks. - Yes, the first one replies. - Is it a donkey dick? - Yes.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Doctor, Doctor I think your gay. thats because i am

thumb_up thumb_down +6

what smells like tuna? my underwear

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Q: Why was the old man sad? A: Because he has a quarter super glued to the bottom of his foot

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Where does Charlie Sheen buy his clothes? Winners

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Bob Saget

thumb_up thumb_down -32

A mass murderer ran into a bar full of people. He first shot a man. What did the man say when the murderer shot him? Nothing, he was hit in the head and instantly died before he could say anything.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

How do you make a fake baby cry -Put batteries in it. How do you make a real baby cry? -Put batteries in it.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How do you kill Chuck Norris? Short Answer: You can't.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why did Kelsey run out of eggs? Horses don't have much sperm.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops