Your mamma used to be fat till Slim Fast came out with dick flavor!

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-Knock, Knock -Who's there? -Carl -Carl wh-wait... carl...CARL OH MY GOD!!!! WE ALL THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD ,CARL!!!! Where have you been? Oh my god... Mom's DEAD! When we all thought you were dead she hung herself! IT'S YOUR FAULT SHE'S DEAD, CARL! YOUR FAULT!!!!!! YOU ARE AN UNGRATEFUL PIECE OF SHIT CARL! YOU KNOW THAT? I hope you burn in hell.

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Dave and Tim walk into a bar. The bartender says to Dave: "What'll it be?" Dave is black.

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Your a christain on a lovely vacation with your family a querr waalks by. What do you do? you push the queer of the edge.

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Chuck Norris is dead......

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Roses are red Violets are blue Call the cops girl They can't unrape you

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Why did the retard have no friends? Because somebody stitched his mouth and eyes shut so he couldn't be social.

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where do you get virgin wool from? ugly sheep.

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? Neither have they.

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Roses are red, Violets are purple.

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The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft by pulling down on one or both of the red tabs.

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two mormons missionaries knock on a door they are welcomed into the home and treated with kindness later the family is baptized. the mormons return home with a sense of accomplishment and purpose.

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My mom says to me are you gay and i say are you gay (What did i just do)

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Minecraft.

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Just happy you are back Nero, I have no idea what a proxy is but I am at my mum`s place, is everything alright between us now?

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Why did the loser end up in hospital? Because he was smoking glue.

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I always wanted to know what the future will hold in the decades to come... Until I realized the idiotness of my own thought for it is nigh impossible for us humans to see the future... Except... That the ancient Mayan civilization prophesized the end of the universe, which I did take into consideration as I slowly nibbled my way through the waffle cone till I had realized that I had reached the paper surrounding the cone and immediately spat it out for it leaves a fowl taste In my mouth, then continued eating my ice cream as I pondered the future and the anti-climatic ending of this anti-joke.

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Knock knock. Come right on in.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A piolet you racist!

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How do you get a clown off a swing? Take a chainsaw and cut the swing in half

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Whats worse then world war 3 world war 4

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Why did the man Jump of a bridge? Because he got sick of his life and he wanted to die.

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My aunt said slow and steady wins the race, she died in a fire.

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Why are Asians bad drivers? There Not. Have you ever seen Tokyo Drift?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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