Why'd the aborted fetus cross the road? 9/11

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A Japanese Nuclear Scientist goes to the swimming pool, and buys a ticket. He went to the changing rooms and proceeded to have a lovely bit of exercise, which helped him burn off the calories from his carbohydrate based luncheon.

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What do you call a man with a spade in his head? An ambulance.

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john liked the paper........ so he took it

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Why did the woman die? She was hit by a bus.

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What's the difference between a black guy and a door? Various answers are acceptable. The door has hinges, a black guy has legs, etc.

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Why was the Amish man dead? Because he fell off of his fridge, while trying to screw in a light bulb.

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What did one cat say to the other cat? Meow. What did one dog say to the other dog? Meow. Why was the man sad? He had a retarded dog.

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penus

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The song Barbra Streisand has more than 2 words.

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whats worse than 1 bee sting? Two bee stings. Whats worse than two bee stings? The holocaust. Whats worse than the holocaust? Three bee stings.

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What do you call Chuck Norris when there is a bullet inside of him? Dead.

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an alien is walking down the street he can't breathe our air and quickly suffocates and dies

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Knock Knock Who's there? Your mum, I've just raped her

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Ambition is like a frog sitting on a Venus Flytrap. The flytrap can bite and bite, but it won't bother the frog because it only has little tiny plant teeth. But some other stuff could happen and it could be like ambition.

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What do you call a black man walking on the side of a road? A Pedestrian

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Q- How do you wake up Lady Gaga? A- You Poke Her Face

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what is the difference between my pubes and my actualy hair on my head.... my pubes didnt fall off when i went trough chemo

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Q: What's the difference between a vampire and a lawyer? A: A lot of things.

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"Knock Knock" "Just ring the bloody bell for once!"

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Why doesn't Squidward wear pants? Because he's a pervert

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What is the difference between a white man and black man who are facing each other? They have different rights.

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Knock Knock Good one...

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Do you know what lmnop is? No. A group of five consecutive letters.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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