I have Alzheimer's, but at least I don't have Alzheimer's.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Two trains, each having a speed of 30km/h, are headed at each other on the same straight track. A bird that can fly 60km/h flies off the front of one train when they are 60km apart and heads directly for the other train. After reaching the other train, the bird flies directly back to the first train, and so forth. What is the total distance the bird travels before the train collide? Who cares about the bird if two trains are going to collide? You need to call this in immediately.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do you call a bunch of black people at the bottom of the ocean? Cocoa puffs

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why was the boy in hospital? He fell off the bus and was run over by many cars.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What's the difference between a tigar and a shark? One's a land mammal.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Knock Knock! But nobody was home and couldn't hear it.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

No antijoke here.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What do you call a car that doesn't work? Broken.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Whats black, white, and red all over? A severely beaten and bruised man who was found un conscience and robbed in a dark parking lot behind Dennys at 2 o'clock in the morning.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What happened when Chuck Norris tried to divide by zero? He found that he was not very good at math, and moved on to another joke concerning himself.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why do black guys have white palms? Because that area of the human hand contains no melanocytes, the cells that allow pigment to form.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

captcha: all yer base

thumb_up thumb_down -11

How do you call a man in a wheelchair? Disabled.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why isn't the dog a rebublican? Because it's a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What can you sit on, drink from and sleep on? A chair, a cup and a bed.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

An atheist walks into a church

thumb_up thumb_down +26

420

thumb_up thumb_down +6

what has wheels and can fly and is purple? A plane i lied about the color purple

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Q: How many black people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: One

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What the hell are you doing?

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A blonde walks into a library. She is a commerce major.

thumb_up thumb_down

Women's Golf

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Bitch

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q: Why were minorities denied access to the bathroom? A: It was for employees only.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops