Roses are red, violets are blue, can I have a ball? No these can't be removed

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Womens Rights.

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Who invented apple? God

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Q. What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in front of a door? A. Matt

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To try to go to heaven because his girlfriend Margaret was cooked into chicken sandwhiches, and he had no kids and he didn't want to marry someone else, so he tried to get ran over but no cars hit him so he cooked himself. AND so he became KFC-Style chicken wings. BUUUT since no one ate them, he grabbed them up from heaven and commented on how delicious he was and proceeded to eat more and then exploded, sending him to heaven's heaven. But it was just a dream. And Margaret had to do laundry some more today because he freaking caused a urine tsunami. You're welcome.

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Lol... (wow you made me type lol), "like it is nothing to be ashamed of?" Your eyes are really beautiful, honestly probably the most beautiful eyes I have seen... And no, I am not talking about your bewbs.

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Some really old band covered Dirty Bit. But the cut out the Dirty Bit part so its just the Time of life part

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Wanna know something fishy? A fish

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I suck at poems, wanna f***.

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A woman walks out of the kitchen, she gets slapped by her sexist husband.

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A black man walks into a store and grabs something off of a shelf. He walks briskly towards the door and pauses, looking sneakily left and right to make sure nobody else is around. He also looks and sees that the security camera is not facing him. Seeing as nobody is watching him, he quickly turns towards the counter beside the door and pays for the item with his own debit card, knowing that nobody can see him enter his PIN.

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Yo momma so hot she won a beauty contest and was later shot and killed by the jealous losers

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What goes down well with whiskey? Pedestrians

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What do you call a woman who loves sex and food? A fat whore.

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Why can't vegetarians eat mushrooms because I can't urinate over a scotch bonnet :/

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So I was making love to my cat the other day, and my pet dog comes in.

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What happened to Timmy went to get ice cream from the ice cream truck? He was raped and never seen again, his family now mourns there loss

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What did Batman say to Robin before getting into the car? We're going to Dairy Queen.

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Why did the women knock on the door? she needed to do a shit

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Q: Why did the little girl fall off the swing? A: Hahahaha! I can't read.

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Knock Knock! Who's There? Whoevers at the door you should probably go answer it.

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why did the mexican stab those people? why? he didn't you racist

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Whats happening when you see your TV floating at night? You are probably suffering from some sort of mental disorder which causes spontaneous hallucinations and should seek medical help before the condition worsens.

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? Were both lawyers.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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