Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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How do you make a white girl commit suicide? Bully her.

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As a kid I was always told that school would get me good places. As an adult, I have found that there is another thing that gets you into a good place. Shrooms.

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Why did Sally fall off of the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sally

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If anyone can read me... I am Michael Jackson and I would really appreciate if someone could get me out of this... box... I mean help! Where am I! I think I have been under a long coma and would appreciate any small boys digging me out... Moral: I hope there is no hell... for my own sake that is...

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- Helen Keller

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What's better than wining the para Olympics? Wining the Olympics.

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I'm the rubber and you're the glue, whatever you say sends vibrations through the air that hit my eardrum and my brain interprets these vibrations as what your are saying.

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What did muscleman say to his dad? You know who else is my dad? MY MOM!

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What did Helen Keller say when she got raped? Stop raping me.

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your going to die

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What is the difference between a tree and a person? Trees don't scream when hit with an axe.

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What do you call a man who interru- SHUT UP!

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A Jew, a black man and a Christian enter a bar. Black people werent allowed in at the time so he was escorted out. The Jew And Christian have a blast and the time of their lives that night.

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Do you know what Stevie Wonder's house looks like? No. Well, neither does he.

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You know what's funnier than a pile of dead babies? A pile where one's alive in the middle, and has to eat his way out.

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How do you trick the devil? You give him a ginger.

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If somebody stabs you in the forehead, you are likely to get injured.

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What's black and hangs from trees? Tire swings

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How many Jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Well, one must question: 1. How much the electrician knows when it comes to screwing in lightbulbs. 2. The amount of electricians present at the scene. 3. The type of equipment being used in the process. 4. The physical and mental stability of the electrician. The situation is solely dependent on the above factors.

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Why did the chicken cross the road Who the f*** let out the chicken

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So a guy and his monkey walk into a bar I don't remember the rest of the joke but you mom is a whore

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Roses are red lemons are sour open Your legs and gimme an hour!

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme But this one doesn't

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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