Knock knock. *Silence Knock knock *silence Knock knock *Silence KNOCK KNOCK. *Silence (Busts open door) Oh right I murdered Billy a week ago

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Why did the boy fall of of his bicycle? He was hit by an asteroid.

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What`s the best part about twenty-three year olds? there are twenty of them

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How many Mexicans does it take to screw a lightbulb? None, they couldn't cross the border.

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How do you kill Glenn Campbell? Stab him with a screwdriver.

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Q: What did Stevie Wonder eat for dinner last night? A: Something consumable

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Knock, knock Who's there? The police. Your under arrest!

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What did the boy with no arms get for Christmas? Gloves.

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Why did the serial killer need the knife? He needed to butter his bread

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A very depressed man walks into a bar, sits down, and gives the bartender his credit card and says, "Keep giving me beers until I pass out." The bartender asks, "What's wrong Buddy? You can talk to me!" The depressed man explains that he was fired, his wife has been cheating on him for the past 2 years, both his daughters ran away and became prostitutes, his mother died after choking on his father's Genitals and the father had just been diagnosed with both brain and testicular cancer and will die within the week, his sister was kidnapped and sold into a sex slave market and has been missing for the past year, his brother confessed to being gay and committed suicide with his lover (male) after learning that their state did not accept gay marriage. He pauses to drink his beer, then continues on to say that he has been convicted of sexually assaulting a child even though he was innocent, his dog had just been run over by a tractor trailer with no physical body left to bury, his cat had gotten stuck in the garbage disposal and he turned it on without knowledge that the cat was sleeping inside. The man looks at the bartender and started to laugh and cry at his misfortune, he then said,"... And to top it all off i just spent the past 2 hours explaining this to a deaf bartender!" The man then went home and hung himself on the telephone pole outside his house. At the funeral only the bartender,who attended, spoke on his behalf, reciting the man's terrible life, then ending by saying, "This man death has motivated me to search for a cure to this rare Delusional Disorder."

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Q.What do you call a beaver with a unibrow. A. A beaver........it's still a beaver

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What do you call a gay dinosaur? a mega sore ass

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What did the magician say to the little boy after he "cut" his mother in half. She is dead now. Your dad is on Row 4, he is crying.

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what do you call a guy with a huge dick ? hugedickasorus

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abortion, it really brings out the kid in you.

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A man walks into a bar. He buys a drink and then goes home and beats his wife.

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A black man and a white man were on an island. They lived in England.

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Beans, beans the magical fruit. The more you eat, the more likely you are to realize that beans aren't actually fruit. They're legumes.

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Whats worse then sneezing on someone? sneeze on someone and find out

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Whats the difference between the black man and the white man? The black man was born with more melanin the pigment in there skin, which would concur the black man did have darker skin. Also, the white man had cancer.

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Why was the Amish man dead? Because he fell off of his fridge, while trying to screw in a light bulb.

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HEY WATCH OUT FOR THAT TRUCK! What truck? Weird I could have sworn I saw a truck...

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In 2012 at what age are Americans allowed drink? At any age. liquids are vital for human beings to survive.

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There were three men standing outside. They were enjoying the nice weather.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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