Q: When do u know when your sister is on her period? A: Your dads dick tastes funny.

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Roses are red Violets go poo My name is Dave How bout u

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Why did the chicken cross the road? because potatos are invading russia

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Knock knock Who's there? Police Police who? You're under arrest, open up or we'll knock your door down

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs in water? Drowning

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Why did the blonde drown in the bathtub? Her father repeatedly molested her and beat her mother, she no longer wanted to live in such a life and promptly committed suicide

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What's the difference between a teacher and a train?!? The teacher is a highly-intelligent organism and the train is a large vehicle used in transporting goods over long distances on the ground.

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A train conducter conducts goes at 60mph, when he goes under a bridge he goes at 52mph. When he goes over a hill he goes at 47mph. If he goes under 3 bridges and over 6 hills what did the conductors mother eat for dinner that night. Nothing, after many months of suffering she died from Huntington's disease.

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A gay man takes another gay man home after a wild night at the city's top club. They choose to be safe and not have gay sex.

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Why was the Blonde Crying? -because she had just witnessed her infant get sucked through a jet engine and was very sad.

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What is the difference between an Irishman and a plank of wood? Almost everything, including anatomy, chemical make up, mass etc

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"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. "You already had me chained to the bed. You didn't have to break both of my legs, Kathy Bates."

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Why can't dinosaurs talk? Because they're dead.

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What happens when you shoot Chuck Norris? You go to jail.

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welcome to anti joke.com. you were expecting an anti joke wernt you.

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Cheese

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What do you call a gay dinosaur? Nothing, they're extinct.

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Why did the boy fall out of his high chair? I'm not sure.

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What's green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

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Want to hear a joke? Jokes are not allowed on this site. Only anti-jokes.

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Q: Why couldn't Billy breathe? A: Because when the truck ran over him his lungs were crushed.

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what has 2 legs and is red all over? Half a cat.

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Why did the man eat the cat? I don't remember the punchline, but trust me it was hilarious.

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A handless Asian boy was riding his bike through the park with some friends. One of his friends puts his arms in the air and yells "Look! No hands!" The handless boy rides his bike home, crying and thinking about how one day he would like to say, "Look! No hands!" without people getting nauseous.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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