Why can't Hellen Keller have kids? Because she's dead, therefore does not possess the ability to bear children.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A man walks into a bar, and he died.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Roses are Red Violets are Blue Violets are not blue They are Violet

thumb_up thumb_down -2

what did the apple say to the orange? -- NOTHING! APPLES DO NOT TALK!

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A man walks into a restaurant and ordered a soup. Then, he called the waiter and said the soup tasted funny. The waiter said, "so laugh". the man then killed the guy and sips the soup while laughing.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Knock Knock Who's there? Your real father. I left you when you were a month old and I have regretted the decision ever since. I would like to be a part of your life.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Q: what did one kangaroo say too the other kangaroo? A: I was told I am schizophrenic.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

knock knock go away!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How many Jews does it take to fill a shower? As many as it does to fill an ash tray.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the chicken cross the road? Who gives a crap?

thumb_up thumb_down +7

How do you make someone cry? Shit on them

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why don't women wear watches? In the technological age we live in, the watch is rapidly being replaced with other electronic devices that tell time, such as cell phones or iPods.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Har har hey

thumb_up thumb_down

"Knock knock!" "Who's there?" "Red." "Red who?" "Red any good books lately?" Suddenly, the séance lost credibility.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

How many men does it take to change a light bulb? None, there is nothing wrong with the light bulb.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A man with a badly injured arm is sitting in a hospital. He says, "Doctor, when my arm heals, will I be able to play the violin?" The doctor says, "With proper medical attention and rest, yes, you will be able to." The man says, "That's great! Before I was hurt, I really enjoyed playing the violin."

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Jack and jill Went up the hill To go smoke Some marijuana Jack got high Unzipped his fly And asked jill "Do you wanna?" Jill sais "yes" Pulled up her dress And things got real fun But silly jill Forgot the pill And now they have a son

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Q: What's green and goes through walls? A: A pickle, you just have to throw it really hard.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

womens rights

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Nathaniel Nugnes walks into a bra

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why is the sky blue? The sun reflects off the water molecules in all bodies of water

thumb_up thumb_down +55

What's worse than a car going backwards on the highway? A steamroller going backwards on the highway.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops