Q: What's worse than ten babies tied to ten trees? A: One baby tied to ten trees.

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What's black and blue and made of poo? A drowning black guy, holding some blue poop

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A murderer takes you hostage. He lists three ways that you will die, but he lets you choose your death: 1. A bullet in your head. 2. A knife in your heart. 3. A lethal injection. What do you choose? It doesn't matter. You're dead.

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What time is it? Ask chuck Norris! Gosh!!

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Roses are red Violets are blue Sugar is sweet And so are you BUT The roses are wilting The violets are dead The sugar bowl's empty And so is your head

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Your mother is so old that her prom theme was fire

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Why do women like NASCAR? They don't.

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Why did no one throw a fridge at the boy on the swing? Because fridges are heavy.

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A man walks in to a bar, wakes up the next morning with the news that they have found a cancerous tumor in his neck.

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Why are bacon and eggs good. Because Toasters are silver

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Yo mamma is so fat that she is likely to consume large amounts of food regularly.

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why did helen cellars dog runway. you would to if ur name was ujujujujjujujujujujj

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How do you fit a billion llamas into a box? you dont

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Why did the housewife become a farmer? Because the kitchen was burned down in a horrific accident.

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How do you keep your dog from running away? Put it on a leash.

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To be, or not to be. That is not the question. The question is, what time is it?

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Aiming with a revolver? That`s fucking overrated. with a heavy powerful revolver such as this one, you do not necessarily need to aim that well at the heart of your enemy in order to blow his brains out.

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knok knok whos there know one cares your gay

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what did the homeless man get for Christmas? RAPED.

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Why doesn't a duck's quack echo? Evolution.

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Whats worse than one bee sting? Two bee stings. Whats worse than two bees stings? The holocaust. Whats worse than the holocaust? Three bee stings. Now, if you have been well-educated you should be able to tell the problem with this joke. Unless you know someone whos jewish and lived during the holocaust, you couldn't be sure if three bee stings was actually worse than the holocaust. If ou do however, thats good for you, keep it to yourself.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

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What do you call a spider with no legs? A spider.

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I stabbed a person. No seriously, I just stabbed them. There's no punchline. Just Just Stab wounds.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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