If you're happy and you know it go to hell.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Poetry is hard And so is wood

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What did the clam say to the scuba diver? FUCK MAN! STOP TOUCHING MY JEWELS! WOULD YOU WANT ME TO JUST RIP YOURS AND TAKE THEM WITH ME!

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the man was talking to a phone no answered cause he talking to a brick wall

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Your momma's so fat: She feels uncomfortable in public due to current trends in ideal body shape and aesthetics of beauty.

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What did Billy Mays eat for breakfast? nothing, he's dead.

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In what way are a pile of deceased children and a Ferrari F430 similar? Neither can be found in my garage, nor anywhere under my possession. As for the Ferrari, this is an unfortunate truth. Due to Ferraris' high level of desirability, and to their low supply, the cost of one such car is much more than an average person can afford. As for the pile of deceased children, anyone in possesion (for lack of a better term, as one can not truly possess another human being, even post mortem) of such a grotesque thing is probably too sick and twisted to be submitting jokes with no apparent climax in hopes of stimulating the minds of the joke's readers sense of humor.

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Why'd the clown fall out of the tree? it died. Why'd the cat fall out of the tree? it died Why'd the chicken fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the clown

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I used to tell people: step on my foot on purpose and ill FUCKlNG BREAK YOURS! Then I Evolved.. friendly r*pist neighbourhood Moral Man: Thumb me down or step on my foot if only on mistake, and I will break off both your legs and ram them up your ASS!

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Your mama is so ugly, when she looks in the mirror it displays her reflection like all mirrors do

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I don't have ADHD I just- Hey look a squirrel!

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I have a gun, Get in the van.

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Your mom is so retard that she needs "special help" from medical professionals. :3 <33

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UP

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A man runs into a bar. He is instantly knocked out.

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Guy: Hey, you want to dance with me? Girl: Who me? Guy: Nooo that bench over there...

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side

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what did the man say to his dog? sex. -teagan doherty

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A black and a mexican start a resturaunt it turns out to be a big success and they make a chain and profit from it.

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Why was the little kid bullied? Because kids are goats.

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Whats brown and sticky? Shit.

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what happens on labor day? the day she has a baby... ya your having a kid

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So Lindsay Lohan walks into a jewelry store. She buys a $2,500 necklace and goes on her way.

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What did the clock say to the book? I have no batteries.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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