If life throws you cars, you are probably on LSD.

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what do you call it when everyone becomes tolerant about gender identity. whatever pronoun it prefers.

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Two fish are in a tank. One says to the other, "You man the guns, i'll drive."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got hit by a bus on the way over.

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two scientists line up a frog at a line and tell it to jump it jumps 4 feet they cut off one front leg and tell it to jump it jumps 4 feet they cut off the other front leg and tell it to jump it jumps 4 feet they cut off a rear leg and tell it to jump it jumps 2 feet they cut off its last leg and tell it to jump it doesn't move they tell it to jump again it doesn't move the scientists come to a conclusion: frogs with no legs...cant hear

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How do you catch an elephant? Dig a nice deep hole in the ground, and fill it with ashes. Next, line the outside of the hole with peas. When the elephant comes to take a pea, kick it in the ash hole.

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Why can't Helen Keller have sex? She is dead

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A man rode into town on Friday and stayed a while and then left on Friday how did he manage this?

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Monkey see monkey do. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the second monkey.

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Here come the elephants over the hill!

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Why was Helen Keller a bad driver? Because she was blind and deaf.

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When does a cat not land on its feet? When it has paws.

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What do you call an armless legless man swimming? Dead

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whats worse than the holocaust? 2 holocausts

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Yo mamma so fat, she is going on a diet and is very sensitive about her weight.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive a car? Because she was deaf and blind and would have been a hazard to herself and others.

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version 2 knock knock, whose there FU CK FU CK who FU CK YOU

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Ask me if I'm a horse. Are you a horse? No.

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How do Chinese people name their kids? They could look up a baby-names book, consult their family history, or make one up

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Q. What's yellow and looks like a duck? A. a baby duck

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What do you call a black lady with big boobs? Oh, wait, it's just a fat black guy.

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Q: Why couldn't the ginger play soul music ? A: He couldn't hit the right notes

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yo mamas so young shes gonna b born soon

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A man walks into a bar with a couple of chickens by his side. He sees a man sitting at the bar drinking a beer. The man who's drinking the beer offers the other man a seat, and asks him to join him in the drinking. The other man hardly refuses and takes the beer from the other man and throws it on the floor, breaking it. The man sitting at the bar asks him why he did it. The man answers: "My chickens don't like beer"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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