Once upon a time, A lonely man was living in the woods. He died of exhaustion, dehydration, starvation, and bacterial infection. The end. Once upon a time, Another lonely man was living in the woods. He built a house, made a well, made a farm, got married, had kids, and had a wonderful life. The end.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who cares?

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What ticks like a clock and has numbers on it? A clock.

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knock knock whos there a boy a boy who ? oh, sorry he just got hit by a train.

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A man walks into a doctor's office, he pees in a cup and is diagnosed with diabetes.

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democracy

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What happened to the Jewish man while he was in the shower? He accidentally fell asleep and was late to his job.

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why did the boy call the girl a bitch? Because she was beautiful.

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what worse the 2 dead kids in a van 3 dead kids in a van

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I hated hipsters before hating hipsters was mainstream. Does that make it sound like I have a fixed gear bicycle? Because I don't... I promise... What's a fixed gear bicycle, you ask? You mean you don't know???

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Why did the babysitter only get paid 50 cents for a whole day. Because he was a 6 foot mexican.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Hold on. Let me think of an answer.

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"We have such clean water we drink and do a lot of other stuff with it" The American said. "What other stuff do you do with your clean water" The African Child said. "Well we take showers in and we go to bathroom with it" The American said. "So let me get this straight you even take a Shit in it to" The African Child said.

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What did the husband tell his obese wife? I love you honey

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A boy found a nickel on the street. So he went to the ice cream shop and bought a gumball with the nickel.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall. First of all, babies do not have the physical ability or the mental capacity to ever paint a wall, no matter how many of them there are. Second of all, they are dead which probably will not increase their chances of painting said wall.

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What do you call a mexican without a lawn mower? .....unemployed

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Why didn't the man walk up the stairs? He had an acorn stairlift.

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Your Black, Im Black, We're all Black

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Listen Nero, you are the only one I suspect right now, how do you know all of this? Why should I believe you?!

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If at first you don't succeed.... maybe skydiving isn't for you...

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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Why are leprechauns so happy? The grass tickles their balls

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How many hours of sleep did Jimmy get last night? Zero, because he has insomnia. Jimmy got fired from his job today because of his lack of energy and motivation due to his disorder. His wife divorced Jimmy because he can no longer support her and their two kids.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops