Why did the genie not grant the man his 3 wishes? Genies don't exist, only vampires live in lamps.

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I'm on a see food diet- it consists of fish and molluscs. sea*

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KNOCK KNOCK WHOSE THERE? AVOCADO AVOCADO WHO AVOCADO COLD THAT'S A RETARD JOKE HAHAHAHAHA GOOD 1

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Why did the horse go to the doctor? It had a heart disease.

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What would be the worst thing to do to Helen Keller? Cut her hands off, as it would destroy her last chance at communication and re-arranging her house so she often fell nub first over chairs.

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What do you call a cat with no ears? Anything you fucking well like. Cats can't understand speech.

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When life gives you lemons....you probably just FOUND lemons...

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Women can vote? WTF

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What's the best use for a van full of candy? Donating it to an orphanage.

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What did superman say when he flew into a building? Flying is inhumanly possible unless in an aircraft vehicle.

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There was an Englishman, a Scotsman, and an Irishman. Now there's millions of them. And women too.

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What's worse then a worm in your apple You took a bite outta that apple.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was suicidal.

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A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender asks "Why the long face?" The horse, incapable of understanding the human language promptly shits on the floor then leaves.

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What is intangible and has every color on the rainbow? A rainbow.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartenders says, "why the long face?" The horse doesn't respond because horses do not comprehend English. He then becomes startled by his surroundings and bolts out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

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What's worse than a bee sting? 2 bee stings. What's worse than 2 bee stings? A Holocaust. What's worse than a Holocaust? 3 bee stings.

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A drunkard stumbles into the bar. Now he's got thousand's of dollars in medical bills.

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Why did the atheist start snoring in his sleep? He has a naturally small airway and fairly large tonsils.

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19 cats 33 hamsters 24 turtles and 23 dogs are all in a small cage, PETA is not happy.

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A lady with alzheimers walks up to her friend and says" my nefew died today" and her friend replied.. " no he died three years ago."

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What's green, brown, red, and is covered with crumbs in a ditch on the side of the road? A girl-scout who got hit by a car...

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Why do cows have hooves instead of feet? Because they lactose!

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What has legs but may never walk? A Vietam Vet

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops