What do you call a guy and two girls are at the bottom of the ocean? A guy and two girls at the bottom of the ocean.

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Why was the house on fire? A dog peed on it.

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People say it's easy to make fun of retarded people. But it's really not. You always have to explain it to them.

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wHY DIDN'T THE HORSE FINISH COLLEGE? HIS GRANT RAN OUT AN HE COULDN'T GET ANOTHER STUDENT LOAN.

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Omg you bought a Prius? Children in Africa are starving and could have used that money to buy food.

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im jewish

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How do you stop a black man drowning? Take your foot off his head

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What's the difference between ?2 and and 74^3? ?-405242.585786

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A blonde is elected President of the United States. Half way through her inauguration speech, she forgets how to read.

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A priest and a small child enter a bar. The bartender takes his son back from the priest, paying him $30 for his exemplary babysitting services.

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A black man walks into a store and grabs something off of a shelf. He walks briskly towards the door and pauses, looking sneakily left and right to make sure nobody else is around. He also looks and sees that the security camera is not facing him. Seeing as nobody is watching him, he quickly turns towards the counter beside the door and pays for the item with his own debit card, knowing that nobody can see him enter his PIN.

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The world blows up and everyone except for one man and his house make it out alive "Knock knock" "Whos there?" "Me" "Me who?" "Ummmm, its me, duh" It turns out the man was very bored and decided to go knock on his own door and tell knock knock jokes

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What's the difference between watermelon and baby? I don't eat watermelon.

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A man walks to his coathanger and shouts: "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!" his wife says not to because the Rapist 'Eggman' was out again. He says he will be careful. On his way to the store, he hears "They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggen-" but the man shouts "AND I'M THE WALRUS, SO SHUT UP AND GET OUTTA MY FACE OR I'LL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" Rapist and the singer became friends and found two more from Liverpool who were excellent musicians. They formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band's breakup.

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What's the point of going to college? There is none.

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why did little suzy fall off the swing? she was stabbed by a drugaddict

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Whats worse than your roof caving in on you? Being stabbed by yard gnomes.

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What type of pants do Mario and Luigi wear? Levi or Denim, I'm not sure why but probably because you can get a nice fitting pair for only a couple of bucks.

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Why did the creator of Anti-Joke.com make the website? Because he probably wanted to promote his book and make more money.

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What did the cannibal eat for Christmas. Your Mom!

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What's worse than a needle in a hay stack? A needle in a stack of drug addicts.

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I'm 23, just like most people my age.

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Religionh

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im typkiking wifrh myv troes. Sorry, i was typing with my toes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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