Anti deep thoughts, by Fabian Monge'. The other day while parked at a stop light i was looking in the rear view mirror at the person who was blowing his horn at me. I then realized that while i was looking back at him the light had been green for a while. I then thought that i had better drive forward because i was holding up traffic, and that it was very selfish of me to waste other peoples time like that while wondering what was going on behind me instead of what was happening in front of me. In the time it took for me to come to this conclusion, i had wasted another few seconds of someones time. How very selfish of me.....

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the waterhorse is a beautiful creature. It often frolics through fields of wheat.

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Your Mother

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What happens 2 seconds after you thorw a rock out a two-story window? The rock hits the ground.

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Q: How many cantaloupes can you fit into Jackie Chan's basement? A: 4

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A black man and a mexican man are in a car. Who is driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. The mexican, Alex, had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. Rain had suddenly come upon them and a passing off-duty police officer had picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel. The three men had drinks and the friends had a wonderful rest of their trip. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months after their return John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

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a dumb blond walks into a hair salon and gets her hair died brown... she is now a dumb brunette

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Knock Knock. *Silence* Knock Knock. *Silence* Knock Knock. *Silence* *Busts open door* "Oh right... I killed Bob last week.

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A dog walks into a bar, followed by his blind owner.

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What do you get when you cross a badger and a paper bag? The badger is cross of course but the bag is inanimate and can't be angered.

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What's worse than a bee sting? Getting shot in the head

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Did you hear about the guy who came home one night and found his wife in bed with his best friend? He had just returned from a trip to the grocery store, where he'd purchased bread, milk, eggs, broccoli, yams, tea, and brownie mix.

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If a chicken and a half lays an egg and half in a half of a day how long does it take a monkey with a peg leg to kick the seeds out of a dill pickle?

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Knock, Knock. Lol jk, we all know knock knock jokes fricken suck.

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The original joke: "WATCH OUT FOR THAT HOLE!" "WHAT HOLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" The anti joke, aka realistic edition: "WATCH OUT FOR THAT HOLE!" "WHAT YAAAAAAAAAAAARGHHHHHHHHH!" The ballon edition: Original: "Balloon! Watch out for that Cactus!" "What Cactussssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss..." (leaking air you slowmo) The anti-joke aka realistic version: "Balloon watch out for that pointy soda!" "What soda *pop*" Moral: None of these where the least realistic!

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Ian: Your Mama's so dumb, she tried to commit suicide off a sidewalk. Dan: Yea, and when that didn't work she hanged herself.

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A man walked into a bar, he was meeting his friends but was half an hour early, so he went down the road and got a burger. He had recently began dieting to maintain a healthy weight, but had trouble with self control. 30 years later he would gamble away his family's life savings and then go onto live a long and unfulfilled life.

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A priest, a rabbi and a shaman walk into a bar. Except there is no rabbi and there is no shaman and the bar is actually my 8th birthday party priest is molesting me. And the priest is my dad. My dad molested me. A lot...

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Once there was an ugly barnacle. He was so ugly that everyone died. The end.

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Whats worse than the holocaust A.MRS FRANK B.HITLER ANSWER MRS FRANK

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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Doctor, doctor! I feel like a pair of curtains! That's a rather strange psychological problem I think you should consult a professional psychologist rather than see me.

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Why did Logan lose his lunch? Because he forgot to his lunchbox on the day-trip.

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Justin Bieber having an erection.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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