Knock, knock. Who's there? Your parents are dead. And happy birthday!

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Why is it a shame if a kid gets run over by a car? I like the newspaper headlines about stabbings better.

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Why did the elephant cross the road? To get to the other side.

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A dog walks into a bar and orders a pint of beer The barman replies : Woof Woof

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What did the chair say to the fan? Nothing. Chairs and fans are objects so they do not have the physical ability to talk.

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Why did the rabbit cross the road? I don't know, I was asking you.

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If a blonde and a feather were dropped off of a building at the same time, which would hit the ground first? A feather is a light object and would most likely float all the way down at a slow velocity, the blonde is most likely 100+ pounds and would die because she is stupid.

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A dyslexic man gets asked what 1+1 is, he replies with a wopping 11. Grats <3

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Knock Knock Who's there? Rob Rob! I haven't seen you in ages come on in.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? because it ran away and it's coop was on the other side of the road

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Roses are red Violets are blue get down or i will shoot

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4 score and 7 years ago was 1965

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What do grass and cows have in common? They both say "moo" except for grass

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Too get to the other side. Duuu no one crosses the road to get killed.

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What do you call a Mexican who gets shot on a golf course? A tragic incident.

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Sometimes i'm hungry.

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Why did the african kid die He was mauled by a tiger in a zoo

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A: Why is that boy on the ground? B: He fell. A: Why did he fall? B: He tripped. A: Why did he trip? B: I tripped him. A: Why did you... B: BECAUSE I WANTED TO!

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How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a would chuck could chuck wood? Home depot

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Roses are red Violets are red Jimmy is red Sally is red Susie is red Jimmy is red Billy is red Carl is red Jose is red Jerry is red Ferdinand is red Everyone is red Because they all just got shot In the head And now they're dead

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How do you stop the neighbors kids jumping your fence and stealing your lemons? Molest them.

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Did you hear about the woman that died of a heart attack? More oxygen for us!

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What's sadder than a lost puppy? A dead puppy.

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69

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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