A man walked into a doctors and said, “Doctor help! My arms have stopped working” to which the receptionist replied, “I’m not the doctor and you need to make an appointment.”

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the chicken fall off the tree? It was stapled to the monkey.

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Whats worse than getting an eye gouged out? Getting both eyes gouged out?

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I love boobs

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Friends are like lettuce; If you eat their head, they die

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Two weeks ago, my brother walked into a flea market and asked if they sold fleas. He's so silly.

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What's the difference between a cake and Jews? A cake comes out of the oven.

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The man was allergic to water. He unfortunately died because water is needed to sustain health as a human.

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What's black,white, and red all over? Nothing, because if it is completely covered in red then it can only be red.

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What did Christopher Colombus say to his men before they boarded the boat to sail around the world? Get on the boat.

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What do you call a cat with 1 eye, 4 legs, and its tongue out? Road kill.

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Q: Whats A Schoolbus Full Of Black Children??? A: A Rotten Banana!!!

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whats worse than 9/11? not much haaaa

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Two straight men walk into a gay bar and promptly forget why they went to a gay bar when they are both clearly heterosexual.

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Why did the blonde become a cannibal? Because she got hungry.

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what's red and blue? your heart

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall red? Depends on how hard you throw them.

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You know what the Germans have to say about problems? For every problem there is a final solution.

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Who is a knob? ross d

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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Q: Why do blondes wear hoop earrings? A: Those that wear them think that said earrings positively accentuate their physical appearance.

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Why did the angry husband murder his cheating wife? She forgot to cook dinner.

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Why didn't Sebastian get out of the forest? Because he got brutally murdered by a big bad wolf

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A man gets home from work with red on his collar. His wife asks what it is. The man replies "I had sex with a young woman, your to old and you disqust me"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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