What's black and white and red all over? A newspaper with some red stuff on it.

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Why did the guy throw a clock out his window? Because he was mentally unstable and needs help.

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Why are hookers and babies so alike? You can have sex with both.

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Why does Lady GaGa have no hair down there? It's physically impossible to grow hair on your toenails.

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George Bush, a little boy, and his grandfather are on an airplane with a failing engine. They have only two parachutes to save themselves. The plane crashes and they all die.

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why do elephants eat peanuts? so they can save the wrappers for valuable prizes

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Why did the Squirrel swim across the river upside down? To keep its nuts dry.

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cool

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Roses are gray, Violets are gray, I'm colorblind, I hate my life

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Your mom is so fat shes having trouble getting into her own pants.

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Q) why did jimmy kick the bucket. A) Because his dad is an alcoholic and Beats him to the point of near death, so He takes his anger out by kicking anatomit Objects such as a bucket.

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Why can't you teach drivers ed and sex ed at the same time in Iraq? The camel would get tired.

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Jake. Walsh.

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What did the wife get her husband after he became a paraplegic in a car accident? Divorce papers.

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Why is there a black president? Cause you voted for him. Thanks! Dick.

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A: If you were stranded on an island and you could only have one thin, what would it be? B: A boat A: That makes sense

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What's big, white, and can't climb a tree? A refrigerator

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Whats green and can kill you when it falls from a tree? a pool table

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Roses are red Roses are white and I one time saw a purple one

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Whats black and has a large penis? A dog with large genitalia.

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What's funnier than a chicken? nothing.

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Why did the black man rob the store? Because he was hard on money for a reason not associated with race or stereotypes whatsoever.

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So a guy is on his way to work and he nearly gets hit by a bus. He sticks his middle finger up at the bus driver but a couple seconds later he realized that it was the same bus he was supposed to get on so he apologized to the bus driver and got on the bus. He was 15 minutes late for the 420th time this week so he was fired from his job and went back home. On his way home he was not allowed on the bus because he left his oyster card somewhere so he had to walk home. 69 minutes later he arrives home to his wife and kids. What did the man say to his wife when he got back home? "Hi."

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Your face

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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