3 guys get stuck in a island and find indians and the indians say the three guys have to stick 10 of the same fruits up there or they die. The first guy came back with oranges but stops at 3 then gets killed. the second had grapes and stop at 2 and gets killed. But in heaven the first guy ask why did you stop at 2 there grapes. the second guy said he saw the third with a pineapple.

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Q.whats the difference between a women's argument and a knife A. a knife has a point

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Whys it so cold? Nuclear winter.

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Q: What did Helen Keller say to the bartender? A: "I would like a bud lite please" it was a different Helen Kellar

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Q: What did Robin Williams say to the young boy? A: Nothing, He is dead

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What do you call 4 black people at a kfc? A family sitting down for there evening meal

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What did the guy say when he came out of the closet? Where's my green shirt?

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A woman goes into a butchers with her baby. She says "I live a few doors down and my scales are broken, do you mind weighing my son?" The butcher takes the boy away and a short while later returns holding a dripping bag. "He's 17lbs two ounces" he informs her, as his colleague brings the boy to the counter safe and well.

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Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everywhere

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A van drives into a car. An hour earlier, the man who was driving the van walked into a bar.

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How do you fit 1000 Jews into a car? You can't. You'd need a much larger vehicle.

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A man goes to the doctor and says, "Doc, I don't know what to do! One day I'm a wig wam, the other day I'm a teepee, then I'm a wigwam, then I'm a teepee again!" The doctor sighs and replies,"Sir, we've been over this. You have stage four periodic cancer."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, It's none of my business.

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What's so similar about a zombie and a black man? They are both almost human.

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was holding hands with the first. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? It saw a banana. Why did the fourth monkey fall out of the tree? It slipped. Why did the fifth monkey fall out of the tree? It thought this was all a game. Why did the sixth monkey commit suicide? All his friends were gone.

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why did bob eat the cookie? because he was hungry

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full house

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what do you call a man that has a terminal illness and is named James - James

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So a clown walks up to you and asks, "What'll always STICK with you? The violent disposition of humanity."

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Knock Knock Who's there? Hodor

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Why did James drop his ice-cream? He was mourning the loss of his mother to terminal illness so he threw himself in front of a train.

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why did my BFF hate me?i called her an idiot on all the holidays including her birthday

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Two muffins are sitting on a counter. One muffin says to the other "hello." The other muffin says "Oh my god a talking muffin!"

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Roses are red,nuts are brown,skirts go up,pants go down,body to body, skin to skin, when its stiff, stick it in,the longer its in, the stronger it gets,it goes in dry, comes out wet, its comes out dripping and starts to sag Its not what you think its a...Teabag

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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