What's invisible and smells like a carrot? A rabbit's fart.

thumb_up thumb_down

Q:How did the blonde commit suicide? A: She didn't, she sought help and was able to live a very happy life with a beautiful family in a nice suburb outside of Cincinnati.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What happened when the high school student had intercourse with his history teacher? orgasmic noises.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

why did Bernard have a bold because I ripped his Mohawk

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Q: What is red and smells like blue paint? A: Green paint.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why didn't the boy have any toes? - Because he did not have any legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +57

Q : How many babies do you need to paint a wall A : It depends on how hard you throw

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Titanic with will smith. Girl: I wont ever let go of you. Leo: Drowns. Smith: Move your fat ass over girl, there is like room for me and fifthy kids there yo! Me: Bitch if you need to float on a piece of wood where six of us could fit, im gonna drown you.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What happens when you throw a red rock in a green pond? It sinks.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

If you share rice between 30 Africans what do they each have? Aids.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

why cant the porcupine marry the balloon? ...neither one can talk.. obviously.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did the carrot say when it was thrown out of an airplane? Nothing. It's a carrot.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

How do two porcupines make love? Well actually it's doubtful that porcupines feel higher emotions like love - they pretty much just mate for reproductive purposes.

thumb_up thumb_down +90

What did the baby get for its 1st birthday? Nothing it was aborted.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did the spider cross the road? He was stapled to the chickens back.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

You're as useful as Baby P's dummy.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Mary had a little lamb, But it couldn't stop her from being raped.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you call a man with no arms, no legs, and only one eye? Dave.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

roses are red violets are blue i need a pee and so do u

thumb_up thumb_down +5

So the priest took the 6 year old boy into the confessional...and He told him to say 3 Hail Mary's.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why don’t stores sell mouse-flavored cat food? It’s a matter of marketing; tuna, chicken and liver flavors sound much more palatable to the humans buying the pet food.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Why did God create Ebola? Because he hates us all.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

An Iraqi, an American and an Irishman get on a plane. They all enjoy the in-flight amenities, agree that the food was sub-standard and arrive at their destinations safely.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Yo momma is so fat when she sat on the i pod she made the i pad!

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops