What do stuffed animals and living animals have in common? There both living except the stuffed animal.

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Why did the old man cross the road? Coz he was in an ambulance

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How do you make a dentist cry? Rape him in the ass.

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What do you call a man who is dirty, and is searching through a pile of garbage? A man who threw out his divorce papers.

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What's large, green, and pissed off? The dumpster out back

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What's green and eats rocks? A green rock-eater.

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Moose A: What do you call a moose with diapers on its head? Moose B: Me.

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Why did the bald man die? Cancer.

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What did chris say? Nothing, bushes cant talk!

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A preschool teacher told his class to draw a squirrel. One child proceeds to break into tears. The teacher says "what's wrong Johnny?" Johnny said "my whole family was slaughtered by a gang of squirrels!" this upset the teacher

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What did the Rabbit say to the horse? They are both completly differebt species and cannot communicate. Therefore, the rabbit said nothing.

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Little Birdy: Are you my mother? Man: No, I'm a murderer. Get in the truck.

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How do you send Harry Potter a post card? Get an owl to send it to his house.

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What's worse than getting shot? Getting shot twice

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A man and his young child walk into a clinic to get physical check-up. The man learns from the physicist he doesn't mater. His wife remarries and start having frequent sex and the child is scarred for life. This is irrelevant because both parents don't exist and this is all a constant delusion in an psychiatric hospital.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms Knock knock Who's there? Certainly not Sally

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Why can Randy Moss Jump so high? Because he trained to jump high.

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What's the difference between above job and below job? Below job sucks

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Hitler arrives at his neighbor's barmitzfah... fashionably late.

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Hey I just met you you are a sneaker smell my gym socks and then pick oot throughyour nose

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Why was Timmy dirty? Because he was buried

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why are the inside of a black mans hand white? cotton residue

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What's hard, long and full of seamen? an erect penis.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? no... Well, It's really nice. :)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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