What is black, white, and red all over A penguin in a blender

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Yo mama's so fat that when she was diagnosed with a flesh eating disease she was given 10 years to live.

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What is worse than stepping on Lego bare foot? Mass genocide.

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What happens if you play CS:GO? Well you loose alot of fucking money.

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"Doctor, Doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains." "Well that sounds like a mental illness and I deal predominantly with physical ailments"

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Who is married to Uncle Joke? Antijoke.

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Jesus said unto John, "Come forth and receive eternal life." But, John came fifth and won a toaster.

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What's the difference between celery and a truck?

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1: Knock Knock? 2: Who's There? *runs*

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A black man walks into an all white bar. He was escorted out, ten months later he died of a heart attack

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What the difference between a duck? One of the legs is both the same.

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What is a Mexican's favorite sport? Cross country.

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What does a girl with no arms on a swing? Falls.

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a Mormon knocked on my front door three times, and i took three seconds to answer, whe shook hands for three seconds. how many dead kittens can fit in my blender?

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A woman leaves the kitchen.

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How do you get Pikachu on a bus? Pokemon are fictional, therefore Pikachu is fictional, meaning he would never be at a bus station in the real world at all.

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What is the difference between 1 and 2? 2 is a higher number than 1.

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Q: Why was the little boy late for school? A: His face was stapled to a wall.

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What happens when a truck full of mexicans and a truck full of aisians collide? They all die.

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Did the owl ever reach the middle of the tootsie pop? Yes. Dreams do come true

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If it's mid-july and there are flying cows everywhere, how many bacons does it take to impregnate a spaghetti ? 3, because because vases can't swim in the dark.

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A guy sitting at a bar was getting really impatient for his drink, so when the bartender asked if everything was fine, he yelled, "No, it's not! Where the f*** is my drink?!" The bartender replied, "I'm not sure what you're asking, 'cause I don't know what letters the asterisks are replacing."

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You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose, but you can't rob a bank! That's a felony. ;)

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What's worse than finding a dead baby in a dumpster? Recognizing the baby as your missing child, and finding the corpse of your dead wife next to it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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