"It smells like Up dog in here." "How do you know what the dog from the movie "Up" smells like? It's computer-animated and not real." "I...I think I have a brain tumor..."

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In Soviet Russia you drive car, because a car driving you would be screwed up.

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Steve Jobs Died today. So did 56 million other people.

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In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

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Knock Knock. Who's there? An astronaut. He's all alone in the vacuum of space. No one hears him knocking.

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What do you call a fat computer? Adele :)

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Why did the chicken cross the road? As this question does not provide neccesary information, a plausible answer cannot be found.

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What do you call a black man on the moon?? Never going to happen

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A whale walks into a bar, everyone says Hey, Ashely!

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there's a new drink out called the Bin Laden... it consists of two shots and a splash of water

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If you have me you want to share me, if you share me you no longer have me. What am I? (a secrect)

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Why didn't susie use the jump rope She had no arms, replied carl No, susie doesn't like using jump ropes replies the mother

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Q: What do you call an American who has both Irish and Italian ancestry? A: An American.

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a jew, a gay, and an irishman walk int a bar at different times during the span of 5 hours.

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Why am I writing this? Cuz I am eating babies alive right now!

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did you know towels can cause dry skin?

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What do you call a joke with no punchline?

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What do a reindeer and a grape have in common? They are both purple, except for the reindeer.

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Q: What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? A: Plenty of things but you already knew that.

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How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a lightbulb? usually one new yorker.

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Two straight men walk into a gay bar. They quickly realize their mistake and cross the street to the tavern where they enjoy a beer and some pretzels.

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When's the best time to go to the dentist? When you have an appointment.

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What is brown, smells like shit and on fire? A muslim after the bomb vest malfuctioned!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It got hit by a school bus and died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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