What is the difference between a dog and pile of dead babies? One of them is alive.

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What did Frodo do when he realized that he needed to destroy the ring? He simply walked into Mordor

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I love animals . But the ASPCA soon put a stop to that .

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Well, there is no way to accurately estimate this number being that 1.woodchucks in fact do not chuck wood and 2. there is no time frame given for said action to take place

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Why can't kids do drugs in school? Because it's against the rules.

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Three minorities walk into a bar and are treated poorly

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Ever hear the joke about the blind guy taking care of the baby ? ... Good, because it's not funny to make fun of blind people and I doubt a blind guy would ever be legally taking care of a baby.

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what did the man with Alzheimer's say to his son? who are you!?

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Baby seal walks into a club... what a tragedy

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What is black, tastes like crap, lands in a toilet, feels soft and mushy, sometimes red, blue, yellow, purple and pink, feels very heavy. eats cookies, drinks soft drink and lights fires? A fat person in a coloured suit.

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What is big and white and will kill you if it falls from a tree? I don't know. I cant think f anything big and white that fall from trees that can kill you and besides if it is big enough to kill you then you will likely see it and avoid the section of that tree lest the big white object should fall and kill you because of this it is likely that anything that is big and white and falls from trees will in result kill you.

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What did the cat say when it stepped in poo? Meow.

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Hey guess what! We're birthday buddies! May 3rd.. Yeah that's why you should give me 5 bucks.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Cancer

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I have a knock knock joke. You go first.

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My mom

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What do you can a stinky mexican? Whatevet his name may be. Possibly Jose

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What's worse than terminal cancer? Two terminal cancer?

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What did the snow flake which could talk say to the other snow flake which could talk None of us are the same.

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What does a weasel and a naked college girl have in common? No clothes

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roses are red violets are blue the sugar bowls empty so is your head

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did you know why people keep saying "you know...you know..." in their conversation? well i don't know

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What's the difference between shoes and babies? You can't eat shoes.

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How did Pablo get into America from Mexico? He drove here!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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