A: Ask me if I'm a tree! B: Okay, are you a tree? A: No, no I am not.

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What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye-patch? Names.

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Q: What did one blind girl ask the other? A: Where are you?

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Whats the worst thing a 13 year old could do? Have a Bar Mitzvah in Holocaust Germany.

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You are walking down the street. You see 3 black people and you don't talk to them because they are complete strangers.

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There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

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What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? Neil Armstrong walked on the moon, and Michael Jackson is dead....

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Why did the black guy cross the road? Because he found a crosswalk with a walk symbol near his destination.

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I once ate at a restaurant where the food was so bad that the chef's name was Earl.

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A mother took her little boy to church. While in church the little boy said, "Mommy, I have to pee." The mother said to the little boy, "It's not appropriate to say the word 'pee' in church. So, from now on whenever you have to 'pee' just tell me that you have to 'whisper.'" Then the mother, realizing how her son could later become confused, clarified. She said, "You can say you have to pee as long as you say it in a quiet voice." The boy understood. There were no problems afterwards.

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roses are black violets are too im colorblind how about you

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Whats worse than your shoe being untied? 911

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There were three elephants in a bathtub. One said, "Pass me the soap." The other one said, "What do you think I am? A Radio???"

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Ha ha. You've wasted your life, sucker!

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Knock Knock Who's there? Gestapo.

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That was slightly painful. I would appreciate it if you would stop such actions in the future

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yo mama so fat, her favorite food is seconds.

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roses are red violets are blue your friend is a scumbag and so are you

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Why did the airplane crash? It was hit by a flying refrigerator.

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What happened to Alice? She fell down a big hole and broke her neck.

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What did the virulent Homophobe do during the PRIDE national day of silence? He talked

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how many aliens does it take to change a light bulb? i wouldn't know, i have never seen one and there is the off chance that they don't even exist

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An ordinary man, much like your friend Brad from that one place where you used to hang out, was walking along one night, much like that night last week, and saw a star. He then wished upon that star...and kept walking.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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