What does a witch put food in? A lunchbox

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Son: Mommy can I have some cookies? Mom: Sure, they're on the top shelf! Son: But I don't have any arms! Mom: No arms, no cookies!

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How are you this morning?

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A couple was arguing about how the man was cheating and he was in "The Doghouse". There clever son pointed out that they didn't own a dog.

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A man comes home to find his wife sleeping with another woman. He molests them both.

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A. Knock Knock B. There is noone home so the individual goes home

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So a mama tomato, a daddy tomato, and a baby tomato were all walking down the street. The baby tomato was falling behind its parents. So the daddy tomato goes back, squishes the baby tomato and yells ketchup!

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what did Stephen Hawking say to the prositute? nothing, because he has a disability which renders him unable to speak

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Why did the cat bite its owner? Because the owner had been dead for several days and the cat was locked in the house with nothing else to eat.

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I hate blackniggers

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What did the blonde waitress say to the man with a curly moustache? Good evening, are you ready to order?; yes [x2]; and what would you like with it?; certanly; there you go; no, I'm sorry; right.

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Knock,knock Who's there? Apple Apple who? Knock,knock Who's there? Apple Apple who? Knock, knock Who's there? Lemon Lemon who? Lemon know if you want me to say apple again

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A man walks into a bar. He has had a tough day at work and unwinds with a beer. He goes home to his loving family. He makes love to his wife that night. It's good but not great.

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A black man is pulled over doing 66 in a 65 zone. He asks the officer what the problem is and the officer says his left tail light is out

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Why is it that we don't eat clowns? Because in most Western countries cannibalism is illegal.

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What do you do when you're surrounded by 15 vampires and 15 werewolves? Stop pretending.

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LOVING BIRD DIEING BIRD DO NOT FLY AWAY

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Dubstep < Music

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your mothers so fat...... shes borderline diabetic.

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What did the paper say to the pen? Nothing, they are inanimate objects!

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It's a scientific fact that if you took all the veins out of your body, and lined them up end to end, you would die.

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tims sty:)

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What has four wheels, two wings, and flies? A bird...I was kidding about the wheels.

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P1 : Yo mamma's so fat... P2: My moms dead

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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