Q: What do you do when your friend tells you he murdered someone? A: Call the police.

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Why did the black man buy a watermelon? Because it tastes good.

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Why did a black kid kill his teacher? No reason. That what they do

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as this could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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Want to know a joke? There is no joke.

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Person 1: want to hear a joke? person 2: yes.

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What did the cab driver say to the duck who wanted a ride in the cab? Get out of the cab.

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what do an black ,am and a bicycle have in comman there both objects

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why did road cross the chicken Niggers love chicken.

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A guy walks into a bar carrying an octopus under his arm. The bartender asks him, "say, buddy, what's with the octopus?" and the man replies, "this is the most intelligent octopus in the world. In fact, I bet you $100 that it can play any instrument you give it." The bartender snickers at the other patrons, and puts $100 on the bar. He motions the man over to the piano by the wall. The man puts the octopus on the piano, but it nothing happens. The octopus is dead, because it's been out of the water for a while. The bartender looks at the man sadly, as two psychiatric orderlies from the local mental hospital take the visitor away to the looney bin, after another patron called the police. The bartender never gets his $100, and now he has to clean up the godawful mess on his piano.

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What is stupid, black and high? A stupid black kite.

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Q: What do you call a dyslexic Irish man with no legs? A: Handicapped

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What's worse than seeing Helen Keller behind the wheel of a car? Being run over by Helen Keller.

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Why did the little boy cross the road? He didnt. He actually got halfway across the road and was struck by a fast moving car. There is now a memorial on the side of the road mourning his death...

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why couldn't the black man get a job? Because he was a violent sociopath with a criminal record.

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Why did the man's motorcycle not move when the street light turned green? Because it was a filing cabinet.

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I don't understand what's so bad about a worm in your apple. Just get the proper software to clean it up, or even better, get a PC

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Some potential names for Justin Beiber's next album: Headache Wailing and Screaming Eardrum Rapist Anger Half Price Indescribable Out of Print April Fools The Sounds of Hell Torture Ear Basher

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Why was Timmy sad? He had 15 large cuban men slapping him for 27 hours straight.

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Why did the blonde kid that was really gay He got a bad case of HIV

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a customer walks into a store and says, "the customer is always wrong." the employee replies, "no, the customer is always right." "you just contradicted yourself."

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I tell the Doctor I'm having pains in my chest. He says that sounds serious and admits me immediately to the hospital.

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your mothers so silly she saw a rock and sat on a chair.......?

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What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing really, it just let out a little whine.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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