Whats the definition of helpless? A quadraplegic in a washing machine

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What do you call a boy that fell off a ferry? Extremely unlucky, since one of the other passengers noticed and the captain turned the ferry around, threw him a ladder, and pulled him aboard. Also he died of hepatitis because his mother was too poor to afford condoms, so he was born with it.

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Q: What did the black guy say to the white guy? A: Nothing, he's a mute.

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Wanna hear a joke? 9-11

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so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane act

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Womens Rights. Excist in nearly every country on Earth today.

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What is worse than getting stung by 1,000 bees? Getting stung by 1,001 bees.

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Q: What is the difference between a pile of dead babies and a ferrari? A: I don't have a ferari in my garage.

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i read the terms of service when i posted this

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Eggplant.

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Is this the Krusty Krab? No, the Krusty Krab is a fictional place, and therefore does not exist.

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It is the conjoining of the two possible outcomes of the interstellar and post modern possibilities of the pasta sex god's niece's favorite colour after she falls off her bike whilst riding down a yellow slide after her twenty-seventh birthday when the two suns form a triangle in the night sky over the delta. Yes indeed that was good pudding.

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What gets bigger and bigger and bigger, then dies? A baby.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had a gun.

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women outside of the kitchen

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Q: Where do you go when its cold? A: A corner because its 90 degrees.

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What did the fat kid eat for dinner? Salad, he's on a diet.

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A man walks into a bar with an MP5 and proceeds to fire thirteen bullets into a crowd of people, several unarmed bystanders attempt to disarm the gunman but they are promptly ordered to stay back or they too would be fired on, a witness reports gunfire coming from down the street to local emergency services and they arrive quickly, organising a perimeter around the bar, county sherriffs decide it would be safest to wait for a swat team, as reports indicated the gunman may have hostages, however the gunfire appears to have ceased an noone has entered or exited the building since police arrived on scene. As SWAT arrives on scene and media helicopters circle above, a person emerges from the bar and the gunman appears behind him, he shoots and kills the hostage and then turns the gun on himself, the death toll reached sixteen including the gunman and as many as fourteen people were injured. there was no clear motive to the massacre, but a search of his appartment indicated he was tired of one-liners on typical joke sites and felt his wife's betrayal with his best friend was too much to bare and he simply snapped after losing his job in the current economic situation.

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What do you call a man with a limp? A limping man.

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there was a tomatoes and it blew up and died. Why did it blow up? The Nazi's needed ketchup for there Jew Burgers

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What do you call a nun in a wheelchair? Virgin Mobile

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A horse walks into a bar, prompting the show-jumping judges to subtract points for failing to clear the obstacle.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was standing next to you.

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Why couldn't the baby play with the blocks? It died during birth.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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