A priest, a rabbi and a mullah walk into a bar. The bartender looks at the three, laughs and says "Please leave now, God is dead"

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Why did the Titanic sink, even though people said it was unsinkable? Grit and determination.

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Why was the lady afraid of cooking? Because her husband always beat her with a frying pan

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Girl goes to see a sex therapist. Girl says, "Doc, though this has never been a problem, for the past 3 months I have been unable to reach climax. Can you help me?" Doc says, "Yes.". And after an intense 18 months of therapy the doctor helped the girl to discover that her inability to reach climax was related to issues of childhood sexual abuse. And after another 36 months of therapy the girl finally found the courage to confront and forgive her unrepentant abuser, as she realized that by not forgiving him, it was like drinking poison while hoping that he would die. And though the doctor did help her,as he had said, the girl never regained her ability to reach climax again.

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why wasnt the baby cute? -because it was dead

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Want a fight? You Spelt F**K wrong O.o

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A white man and woman are married and the wife becomes pregnant. However, the wife has been having an affair with an African American man. The baby turns out to be white and so the woman was very fortunate or else the husband would have figured it out for sure.

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Why is the world round? Because oranges are purple.

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

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kkkk

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Michael Jackson walks into a bar. Everyone runs out, screaming, "AH, a dead guy is walking!"

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What is 8===D- ? A jew with a lip piercing.

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What isn't funny? The holacost.

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Women's rights

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What's worse than a baby in a blender? Two babies in a blender

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What's black and always in the back of a cop car? The seat.

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What do you get when you mix Fruit and Flys? Fries... or Flutes, depending on how many Flys your add.

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An Irish man walks into a bar, and then realizes that he's walked into the wrong establishment (He was looking for an upscale restaurant.)

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, why the long face. The horse replies, neigh.

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How do you get your wife to stop nagging? chop off her head

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What's worst than finding two worms in your apple? Two holocausts.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The question just posed is unanswerable, as in order to state the reasoning for the chicken crossing the road, one would have to assume the a chicken has a concept of 'road'. As the chicken is an avant, we can safely say that it has no need of pavements/ sidewalks or roads. As a result, it cannot possibly have an incentive for doing so. Consider the following hypothetical analogy: you are walking in a forest, and you unknowingly cross another animals scent trail. You cannot possibly say WHY you walked across the scent trail, as you didn't know it was there. You can state your reasoning for walking in the first place, but not for crossing that specific scent trail. In conclusion, this question is unanswerable, due to the chicken's lack of knowledge about roads.

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Q. Why are most jews unemployed? A. They all got fired.

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What did the nintendo Wii say as it went down the slide? They don't talk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops