Your mother was a hamster, And your father smelt of ElderBerries!

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What's green , has 4 legs and if it fell out of tree on you , would hurt you ? A Pool table

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Why didn't Sammy Robertson make the world series catch to win the series in 1977? Because Sam, like many many discouraged teens in America, didn't follow his life long dream and later became a janitor at his hometown middle-school.

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Why did the man mysteriously disappear? Because he was hiding without telling anyone that he was hiding.

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What is a cow's favorite drink? Well, I could be wrong and this is just my opinion, but I do not believe that animals experience feelings and, in corollary, favoritism towards anything, particularly regarding basic survival needs, such as hydration.

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Six Jews get on a train. They all safely arrive at their locations.

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A priest, a rabbi, and a preacher walk into a bar. They ordered a water each.

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Q: What did one candle say to the other? A: Nothing, the mere thought of candles being able to possess the ability of speech is preposterous beyond any of the highest capabilities known to man.

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Chuck Norris is so strong, he can probably lift more than 80 pounds

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Doctor, doctor, it hurts when I hit my head with a hammer!! Dont hit your head with a hammer anymore.

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Why did Suzy fall of the swing? -she had no arms Knock Knock Who's there? Not Suzy

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Whats brown and drives people around? A cab driver of south asian decent. Finding a job that alligns with their qualifications and experience is not always possible, so they take up menial jobs to survive and provide for their family.

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an object in motion continues to stay in motion unless acted upon by an external force :)

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Did you hear about the monkey in the tree? Oh no wait. It was a lizard.

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What's the difference between a black businessman and a white businessman? Their skin colour.

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Why didn't Helen Keller have headphones? Because they weren't invented

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How many Nazis does it take to screw in a light bulb? One. Their domestic handiness was not impeded by their warped sense of entitlement and racial superiority.

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why did Sarah fall out of the swing? she had no arms. Knock knock. who's there? not Sarah.

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Jim just got laid off at the office. He believes his life is going to hell, so he commits suicide. His wife then later was blamed for his death because they were having many arguments. She was sentenced to life and slowly rotted in prison for the rest of her life. Their children then are moved around from foster home to foster home and they grow up to be drug dealers.

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You can teach a man to fish but you cant teach a fish to man

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It's April Fools Day... APRIL FOOLS!!!

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if a cat is mean and a dogs a bitch then what do u call your wife? A MEAN ASS BITCH

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-Knock knock! -Who's there? -A kazoo. -A kazoo who? -A small, simple musical instrument consisting of a hollow pipe with a hole in it, over which is a thin covering that vibrates and produces a buzzing sound when the player sings or hums into the pipe.

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Who let the dogs out? Their owner because he had come to the rational conclusion that they were cooped up in their cage all night and were in serious need of relieving themselves and needed love and affection

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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