knock knock - "who's there" - "i'm a escaped convict who's here to murder you and rob your house" - "Well come in the doors already open"

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Many people protest. they go home after a few hours

thumb_up thumb_down -9

what's worse than a dead baby in the bathtub? if the baby was named Grace.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks "What can I get for you?" The man replies, "a drink"

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Two polar bears are sitting in a bathtub. One polar says to the other, "Pass the soap please." And the other polar bear says, "No soap, radio!"

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why did the Black man buy some slaves? They were his family

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was a woman.

thumb_up thumb_down +63

What's another name for asexual reproduction? Parthenogenesis.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

why did the boy drop his ice cream? a terrorist dropped a bomb on him which turned into a transformer, raped him and then burried him inside of his refridgerator

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Boy: Is your body from McDonalds ? Girl: Aww is it because your lovin' it? Boy: No, it's because your greasy and fat!

thumb_up thumb_down +61

Why did the man stop dead in his tracks? He was on top of a land mine.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What did the lawyer name his daughter? Amanda.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What's the funniest thing about the holocaust? Nothing it wasn't a joke

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Jack and Jill went up the hill, to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and broke his crown, and Jill came tumbling after. Up Jack got, and home did trot, as fast as he could caper, to old Dame Dob, who proceeded to get Jill convicted of attempted murder, as well as several millions of dollars for pain and suffering.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Bill:Ask me to do something. Bob:Go get me a beer Bill:Would you like fries with that?

thumb_up thumb_down +4

You know whats funny Aids

thumb_up thumb_down +3

You cant like my stuff ive known you for like 1 day. just kidding you can like whatever you want, actually ive know you for 5 years

thumb_up thumb_down +9

why don't asians use this finger (point at pinky)? because it's my finger.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

why did the chicken cross the road? who cares its a chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A man decides to go hunting in the woods with a shotgun, he is going through the woods and a bear randomly pops out of no where, knocks him down and rapes him. So the next day he came back with an even bigger shotgun and said, "i am going to kill this bear" so he goes through the woods, the bear comes out of nowhere, knocks him down and rapes him again. So he comes back the next day with and even bigger shotgun and says, " i am going to kill this bear, skin it, and eat it" so hes going through the woods and out comes the bear, knocks him down, gets real close to his face and says, "you dont come out here for the hunting do ya".

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What starts with F and ends in UCK? Firetruck. What starts with P and ends in ORN? Popcorn. What starts with S and ends in HIT? Shit.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

how many jews can you fit in a car? 2 in the front and 3 in the back depending on how many people decide to go

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? Where's my tractor?.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Why didn't the little boy have a good time at his birthday party? Because his friends lit him on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops