Fool me once, shame on you Fool me twice, shame on me Fool me 3 times, oh now you're just being a jerk

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because Acl tear stepped on a spit.

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What's black, blue, red, green, white, purple, orange, yellow, etc.? Last I checked, a bunch of colors

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What happened after September 11, 2001? September 12, 2001

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There's a tray of muffins in the oven. One muffin says, "man it's hot in here!" Another muffin says, "holy shit! A talking muffin!"

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What happened when the wife refused to make her husband a sandwich? Since he was paralyzed from the neck down, he starved to death.

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There once was a man from Nantucket He decided to sail to Portland Now he lives in Portland.

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Where did Sally go when the bomb hit her? Everywhere

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There was once a boy who ate fire. He died of severe burns.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I doubt it thought much about this. The chicken is a simple animal, and i doubt its actions were spurred by any particular motivation.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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A guy walks into a bar- he walks out of the bar because the beer was expensive and he didn't feel like getting drunk.

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Why are Chinese people only allowed one child? Because their government states so.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding out your boyfriend's gay

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? To have a shit.

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Hillary Clinton

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What is a dog's favorite color? Dogs are colorblind and can not see colors.

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Q: Whats red and circular? A: A red circle

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why did the pirate have a patch? to crack the software he had downloaded

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why didthe man's computer crash? the man has a serious porn addiction

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Why did Jill fall off the swing? She had no arms. Why didn't Jill get up? She had no legs. Why didn't anyone help Jill up? She had no friends.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, it was Friday night (or Halloween or St. Patty's Day) and the chicken was at a party. He got totally drunk, and then got the bright idea that it would be okay to drive home. On a rural two-lane highway, his vehicle careened into the oncoming traffic lane, and then the ditch, thus crossing the road. Fortunately, he walked away with only a few scratches. However, he was cited for wreckless driving, and got a DUI as well.

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How do you find out if your son is ok? Ask him.

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an asian walks into a bar and does his math homework then he gets raped by a horse

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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