Why couldn't the T-Rex give anyone a high five? Cuz he's dead.

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What did the cow say to the chicken? Moo.

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How do you stop a clown from laughing? You hit it in the face with an axe.

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How many midgets can you fit into a telephone booth? Well, it really depends on a lot of factors. The size and design of the phone booth itself is pretty important. Also, midgets really have a wide range of sizes, but we could do some analysis and find out the average at least. Based on that we could have an estimate done soon.

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What's funnier than seeing a baby falling from the empire state building? Stopping his speed with a shovel

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"Ask me if I'm a tree!" "Are you a tree?" "No."

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How many blind people does it take to screw in a light bulb? Does it matter?

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Q: Why was little Timmy afraid of clowns? A: The one at his birthday party killed his parents.

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If there are 50 bricks on an airplane, and 3 fall off, how many are left? It does not matter how many are left, however, the 3 falling bricks pose a serious safety threat and more should have occurred to properly secure the bricks from falling from the aircraft.

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What would Walt Disney be if he were still alive today? Still anti-semetic

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Daniel is a fag

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An asian man walks into a taxi. The driver asked which chinese or electronic store woupd u like to go to?

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Stealth baseballs record

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No. Neither has he.

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what did Harry Potter get for christmas? ... nothing his parents are dead !

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Yo' mama's so poor that she can't afford many of the privileges of everyday life.

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how do you kill a rat skin it and feed it to your child and wait till it shits then when it shits feed it to your dog then when it shits then microwave it and shove the smelly liquid remains up your ass.

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What`s that CREAM that comes out of you when your mom puts a WHIP on you with a switch? WHIP CREAM!

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What did the flower say to it's friends? I want to kill a Christmas tree.

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why did the baby fall down the stairs? i pushed it.

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What's black and white and red all over? The newspaper classified section after a man has abandoned long, futile job hunt. He has crossed out all the potential jobs with red ink. He was laid off due to the downturn in the economy and will now have to get food stamps, which is very embarrassing for a man who has worked to support his family his entire life.

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How do you get 100 midgets into a Mini? You have to manufacture a Mini large enough to accommodate 100 midgets. It wouldn't be street-legal, but at least the problem of getting 100 midgets into a Mini is solved

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European on my shoes, buddy.

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Goat balls.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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