How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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What is the difference between a bike and a baby? There are a lot of differences

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How do you call a half deaf duck? HEY DUCK!!!!!!

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How much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to take three harpoons to the chest and still manage to feast on a family of baby seals...... Hi my name is Joey

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Your dad is so dumb he tried to put M&M's in abc order

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What is a man with no arms and no legs on a pile of leaves? A quadriplegic who enjoys the fall.

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why did the chicken cross the road? he didnt.. that kinda shit never happens

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I pooped my pants

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What's blue and invisible ? Nothing.... Its impossible to be iinvisible and a color

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Whats the different between a black man and white man...... the different levels melanin in the skin that results in pigment

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Why did the woman hate waiting in line? Two reasons really: almost an entire day had passed since her last intake of non-prescription drugs plus she was generally apprehensive that the witness would identify her.

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I was walking down the street one day when suddenly, a chicken crossed the road. Apparently it wanted to cross to the other side.

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What did the baby get for his 1st birthday? Nothing, he was a Harlequin baby, therefore dying during the last stages of pregnancy.

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what did one barstool say to the other what theres a butt on me

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What is in your backyard and is stalking you? Corn

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I don't usually drink beer, but when I do it usually doesn't take much for me to feel the effects of intoxication.

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Why are elephants big, grey and wrinkled? Beacause if they where small, white and smooth, they would be an aspirin!!!

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Your mom is so fat That the salesman advised her not to buy the tight dress

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He wanted a car to kill him so he can get to the other side with his wife and son. In other news,I had a very nice chicken cutlet and scrambled egg dinner.

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Itookasipasoda

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Q: what do you call a muslim driving a plane? I don't know A: 9/11

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was being raped by a giant scorpion

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The world does not deserve our rule, it requires effort, teamwork, respect for oneself and others, tolerance, love, patience, strength, honor, loyalty... ...Face it, people do this because it is far easier to be ruled, than to rule, it is far easier to do as told, than to ask oneself what one desires with ones life. A king that suffers the burden of his people, falls of his throne, a king that enjoys the burdens of his people, creates burden, and grows as people suffer. We cannot change that, maybe we have yet to evolve to that point as humans, or maybe it is time to accept, that we have evolved past this.

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Technically I did not try to, but I made you believe I tried in vain, so your subconcious is unable to register that it is under a state of trance, you could deny it, but you are in a state of trance right now. So how big are your breasts?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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