What do you do if you see an alien landing? This depends entirely on the circumstances under which the landing takes place. It also depends on the observed nature of the alien,but given the high unlikelihood of this occurrence, one may be safe in the knowledge that he or she will never have to deal with such a mental state of stress.

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What do you call a lepucaun leaping in a feild of flowers, on christmas? Ground beef.

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Why did the chicken cross the road The light was green

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Why did the black guy walk into the supermarket and buy 100 bananas? Because he works at the zoo you racist!

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Why did the first squirrel fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Peer Pressure. Why did Bobby fall off his bike? He was hit by 4 squirrels Why did bobby die? He was hit by a bus

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Beethoven! It is true? Did you really lose your hearing? Yes.

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What is pink and fuzzy? Pink fuzz

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How do you get a one armed Polish man out of a tree? With a ladder, he needs help.

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Cows make a world go round and round They also live in the town town town They make a funny sound sound sound MOO MOO MOO MOO MOO Where do cows go on saturdays? The MOOvies I am Cow Hear me MOO I weigh 10 times more than you! Why are cows black and white? Cause they dont want to be racist

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kcid gib a evah uoy neht sdrawkcab siht daer nac uoy fi

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A baby seal walks into a club.... Oh....

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Knock Knock. Who's there? I don't know, you answer the door.

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What do you call two black people on one bike? Organized Crime

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roses are red, violets are blue, no one cares, your adopted.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he can't fly

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What do you call a black man who is flying a plane? A pilot.

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A Weight loss service that works

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Jews... The only funny thing they did was piss off Adolf Hitler

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Why did the man turn up at his friend's funeral dressed as Mickey Mouse? Because it would have been disrespectful not to attend.

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? The Holocaust

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Why did the Nazi Doctor drown a Jew in the lake? To see how long it would take a Jew to drown with its big nose. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

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What did David's mom give him for his birthday? Nothing he hasn't seen her in eight years.

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Q; What's the new slogan for the TSA? We handle more junk than EBay.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Generator? One powers your house...and then there's the generator.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops