Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she has no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? Not Suzie

thumb_up thumb_down +21

guess what what that wasnt it

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are polemicists.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

your mother is so fat that she probably watches her calorie intake every day

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Your mother is so fat that when she went to get weighed she was diagnosed as clinically obese and later broke down into tears.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the little girl fall off her bike? Because she didn't have any arms

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Chinese men having large penis.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why do you do when a homeless man asks you for money Scream bicycle and then run

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Why did Timmy start a fire? Because Timmy was a derranged phycopath

thumb_up thumb_down -7

How do you make an electrician fall over? You hit him hard with a lamp

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why did the chicken cross the road? His motives so far are unknown as he is a chicken, and therefor cannot divulge the information.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Roses are red Violets are blue... Violets are not blue they are actually purple

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was deaf, dumb, and blind.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Yo mama is so fat she has a gym membership and a diet plan to lose weight

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Knock knock. Who's there? Interrupting cow. Interrupting cow who? The one from the farm across the street. Can Randy come play outside?

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the black man steal purple kool-aid, chicken and watermelon? Because it was the birthday of his 8 year old daughter with autism and she loves purple kool-aid, chicken and watermelon and he was very poor and wanted to make his little girl happy for once.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

What do people call the completely paralyzed man with no eyes? David, his name.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Your mom is so fat she probably has a body mass index of between 25 and 30 which is considered to be "overweight" but paradoxically is associated with fewer health risks by medical professionals.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

The new pickup line. The human body has 206 bones in it. I have broken one of them, please take me to a hospital.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

why was the guy crying at the bar his house got bombed

thumb_up thumb_down -166

Why didn't the elephant do any tricks? It was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

What's worse than finding a spider hidden in your sheets? The spiders being followers of the devil then sucking out your soul and giving it to the devil while your body gets stretched and you die a very painful death.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What boy with no arms get on his birthday? Lego.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Q: What do you get when you cross an alcoholic and a sex addict? A: A baby

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops