Why are Americans so fat? Poor diet and lack of exercise.

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"Hey look, mommy! I'm a whale!" (child proceeds to pull a shotgun and create a blowhole in his head)

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roses are red violets are blue i use refrigerators to keep my food cool

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Knock, Knock. Who's There? Its Greg. I forgot my keys, can you let me back in?

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Walruses are basically saber-toothed seals. That does not affect the fact that they are awesome.

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Your mom is so fat, she had liposuction.

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I told you it would happen

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A ham sandwich walks into a bar, bartender says "We don't serve food here."

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Whats black and white all over? Michael Jackson

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Wanna hear a joke!? Miley Cyrus.

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Why didn't Helen Keller drive? With all that time she spent learning how to read and write despite being blind and deaf, authoring numerous books, and being a prolific political activist; she simply did not have the substantial time to acquire a driver's license.

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whats brown? poop.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Your mama is so fat she has a high BMI and is at a high-risk of Type II Diabetes.

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Yo mama so fat when she went to the ocean the whales started to sing we are family even though your fatter than me

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Why do people read Bibles? To learn about God.

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What did the fat man order at McDonalds? Nothing, he was on a diet

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Okay, hundred billions, and because I am fucking hungry, we make it perpetual, now the longer you keep the feeling going, the stronger and stronger and you know, trillions, indefillions, nondecillions, hell, make up your own numbers and just consider them higher. Bet its starting to feel pretty nice huh?

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Hitler

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I honestly have no idea what is upsetting you, why would I lie about my name? Please don't leave, you do remember me don't you? Can I call you over?

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Q: Did you know Hellen Kellers father was a skilled craftsman? A: Neiter did she.

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What's the thing that freaks guys out the most? When you're about to have sex with a girl and it turns out she had a penis and it's bigger than yours

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Why cant a black man and a white man cant be friends? Because bont mens are racist

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What do you get when you cross a lion and a tiger? A Ligor.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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