Your mum's so fat that she's incredibly lucky she has a loving and supportive husband who values her personality over her appearance.

12

Scientist 1: "What's your research paper about?" Scientist 2: "Homosexuality in fruit bats." Scientists 3, 4 & 5: "AHAHAHAHA LOL WUT"

What is a long boring story that no one will ever want to read? the life of Sarah Palin.

I believe you, if something is possible, I know you can do it. I tried lucid dreaming once, but I felt like I began floating and that was no fun, scared me. I am pretty good at hypnotizing others, myself not so much.

What do Michael Jackson and Donkey Kong have in common? They're both famous.

What did one guy say to another? Womens rights..........

A man walks into a bar and says "ow"

why did the girl fall off the slide? she was pushed, by her dad...

Two Jews walked into a bar. Then bought it.

Why was Dr Who unable to travel back in time using the TARDIS? Because it's just a television prop. It isn't a real time machine.

What's worse than a pile of dead babies A live one eating its way out!

Why was billy bad at telling jokes? Billy was sexually abused as a child and humour was never really part of his life

What's the difference between Justin Beiber and gay people? Quite a bit, actually, because Justin Beiber is one person, and "gay people" is a community.

One day a married couple have a conversation. The husband says, "Make me a sandwich." The wife says, "Okay, what do you want on it?"

Hey, there are 206 bones in the human body, would you like 1 more? ;) If you are referring to your penis, that is made of tissue, so it is not an extra bone. And no, I would not like your penis.

What's the difference between a pizza and a black man? It would be cannibalism to eat a black man.

What is the difference between a group of magicians and a cheerleading squad? One has a cunning array of stunts.

Whats he difference between a rock and a dead baby? I'm not spemding the rest of my natural life in an insane asylum for eating a rock!

Amanda Knox walks home free.

Emergency call: - Please help, my little son swallowed a condom! 5 minutes later - It is ok, I found another one.

What Is big, round, and looks like gaben. Gaben!

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato.

Why did Justin Bieber jump out of the airplane? He didn't, i pushed him

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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