What do you get when you cross Dracula and a snowman. Probably a little startled from the man's Dracula costume and a little chilly because the weather is cold enough to support a snowman.

There is a very old lady at the bottom of a long flight of steep stairs with a large amount of groceries piled up in her hands. How did she make it to the top?? She walked.

what's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? a Jew is a person and a pizza is a food

What does it mean if your tv appears floating away in the dark? You had an awesome tv.

Did you hear the joke about the deaf man? Neither did he.

i found the cure to cancer.......AIDS

What did the dog say to the cat? Nothing, animals can't talk.

Yesterday I was walking my dog and while I was walking my dog, guess what happened? It got hit by a bus.

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? getting your ball sack ripped off with a grapple hook

Why did the Quantum chicken cross the road? It was already on both sides.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, My name is Paco, And yours is too.

Roses are red, violets are blue, so is my face, I'm constipated

knock knock whos there guy with a gun guy with a gun who guy with a gun who just shot you dammit

how do you get your son or daughters attention? break down the door to their room and promptly begin beating them with a wooden baseball and then tie them up to a chair and torture them for 24 hours.

A black guy walks into a bar... *3 hours later* He walks out...

Why was the man sad He wasnt i lied

Q: What do you call a hobo asking for change? A: Get off my driveway!

How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

what did hayley say to missy last night? I'm tired bye

When I was in 4th grade, I was fat. The other kids would take my lunch and spit in all the food, then give it back. Teachers started to wonder why I wasn't eating, and soon began to ask me if I was anorexic. I replied, "do I look anorexic!?" I'm now 6 foot 3 and weigh 56 pounds. *FUN FACT: based on a heartwarming true story.

Q: What did one muffin say to the other muffin? A: "AAAA! A TALKING MUFFIN!"

So three hikers decide to face the deadly challenge of climbing Mount Everest. They were unaware of the risks, and were all brutally killed in an avalanche.

What's big and green and if it fell out of a tree it could kill you? A snooker table

Other Guy: What are you looking at? Me: You.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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