A man shaves at least 3 times a week, yet he has the longest beard in town, how is that possible? He shaves his head because he's embarrassed about his rampant and patchy balding.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? FBI. FBI who? The FBI. We have your house surrounded. Pervert.

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hahahahaha thats not funny

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What did the 5 cent store clerk say to the customer? That will be 5 cents.

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A poor boy receives his first wrapped present in his entire life. Why did he hate it so much? Because it was a copy of "Mien Kampf" Is he Jewish? No, he actually does know what "Mien Kampf" is because he is poor and cannot read.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Neither has he.

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do you have a pen i can borrow? yeah, here.

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Q: Why was the little boy upset? A: His nose was glued to the sidewalk.

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3 Chinese brothers (chu, bu, and fu) come to America and want to change there names. Chu becomes Chuck, Bu becomes Buck, and Fu becomes Tom because obscenities do not make acceptable names.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Doesn't matter get in the van.

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Why did the depressed teenager die? Because he had cancer.

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Hey, guess what? What? Dammit!

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What did the black man buy at the fruit shop? Some bananas.

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What is pink and fluffy? Pink Fluff.

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How do you make a Russian baby cry? Punch it in the face

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What did the monkey say to the garbage collector? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAA

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What's the difference between a catholic priest and acne? Acne waits until the boys hit puberty before coming on their face.

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What did the orphan get for christmas? Glaucoma.

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How many kids with Asperger's does it take to change a light bulb? Tyrannosaurus lived in the Cretaceous Period.

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A bear walks into a bakerey. He aks for a loaf of bread. The bakers asks: "White or brown?" The bear answers: "It doesn't matter, I'm on the motorcycle".

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What walks on four in the morning, three at noon, and two at night? A baby with leprosy.

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What did the gay lifeguard tell the little boy at the pool? No running!

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A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender asks: "why the long face?" The horse replies: "my wife has terminal cancer."

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Me and my pet lion just took a trip to his homeland of africa. It is also worthwhile to note I'm a chronic liar.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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