A duck walks into a bar. Animal control is promptly called and the duck is released at a nearby park.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why was the little kid sad at a funeral. He was actually happy and he was at six flags

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Knock Knock. Who's there? Lettuce. THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE! AAAAHHHH!

thumb_up thumb_down +17

what do you call a Mexican driving a plane? a pilot you were probably to racist to work that out

thumb_up thumb_down +6

what are the best kind of bees none they sting and hurt like hell

thumb_up thumb_down -33

A man gets a paternity test. It's better than beating his wife senseless due to his own insecurity.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

whats black and large -me

thumb_up thumb_down -29

so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Q: What do you brush your teeth with, sit on and sleep in? A: A toothbrush, a chair and a bed

thumb_up thumb_down +3

what shoes do pedafiles wear White vans

thumb_up thumb_down -30

A grasshopper goes into a bar It is stepped on and crushed.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What can you sit on, drink from and sleep on? A chair, a cup and a bed.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A married couple is arguing over the temperature in their house. The wife wants it at 62 degrees and the husband wants it at 74. What should they do? Nothing while they are arguing their daughter decides to put it at 32 and freeze them to death

thumb_up thumb_down -24

what did johnny's dad say to him after his baseball game? nothing because johnny's dad was an abusive alcoholic who beat him until the neighbors found out and called the police. the dad was arrested, tried in court then promptly thrown in jail were he was raped in the showers repeatedly by a very large and intimidating black man. he vomited suicide in his cell today by drinking drain cleaner

thumb_up thumb_down +22

How did the boy die in the holocaust? Cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -17

how do you make a plummer cry? you kill his family

thumb_up thumb_down +4

When life gives you lemons ....go murder a clown.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs? Steve

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Where did Sheyanne go during the bombing...... Everywhere

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's the difference between a pizza and a Jew? A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What do you call a pickle that is sad? A pickle!????

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What is blue and angry? Mr Johnston wearing his green dress. I'm colour blind but he came round to my way of thinking in the end.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why couldn't little Jimmy play catch with his dad? Because he was an orphan.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

What did Oprah get for christmas? Weight Watchers

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops