How do you make a plumber sad? You kill his family.

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what is the difference between a dead baby and a trampoline? you take your shoes off before you jump on the trampoline.

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You idiot.

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whats does a dog cat spider and rat have in common?the dog cat and rat are all mammals.Exept for the rat idiot!!you should have figured THAT out before!!!

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what did Stephen Hawking say to the prositute? nothing, because he has a disability which renders him unable to speak

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You're flying over a lake in your canoe and the wheels fall off. How many pancakes does it take to cover a doghouse? None! because ice-Cream doesn't have legs!

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Why did the fat man go to America? Because he was excited to get of work for vacation.

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My friend told me to jump right off a cliff That's impossible since this cliff goes left...

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Whats worse than eating a worm? Haveing a worm die in your penis.

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What did the guy say when he died? nothing, he was dead

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In Soviet Russia a lot of people were killed for voicing their opinion against Stalin

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What do you call somebody who votes for Donald Trump? A voter. What do you call somebody who votes for Hillary Clinton? A voter.

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What noise does a dead dog make ? Nothing its dead

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The family performs an array of disgusting sexual acts. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "It has no name."

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What did the Muslim say to the American? Hi

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My closet is like the wardrobe to Narnia, accept my closet isnt a portal into a magical world.

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Q: What is Paul's nickname A: His name is Paul, he doesn't need a nickname

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alert("The Game");

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Why don't men ask for directions? They want to appear knowledgeable and strong. Asking for directions is sometimes considered a sign of weakness.

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What's the leading cause of pedophilia? Sexy kids.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It's hard to tell, but i could really use a cigarette.

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Q: Why was six afraid of seven? A: I don't know, he didn't tell me.

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What happened when the lawyer went surfing? A shark came up and tore his leg off.

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Why did the boy get coal in his stalking. Cause he wants to be a geologist and that's what he asked for.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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