Roses are red,I love the walking dead,but if they kill off Darrell ill watch glee instead

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Which came first? The chicken? Or the egg? Whichever one was more sexually excited i guess.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q: Holy do you get a nun pregnant? A: You have sexual intercourse with her, and have an orgasm inside her body. Also, in vitro fertilization is a viable, albeit expensive, alternative for couples who have difficulty conceiving by standard intercourse.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Twenty-Four

thumb_up thumb_down +29

You see this dick stop being a spick now suck on my wee wee u prick

thumb_up thumb_down

A: how do u wake up lady gaga? B: you poke her face

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Knock knock. MAN: Who's there? HOOKER: The hooker you called for. MAN: Oh, dear lord. My wife hasn't left yet. I need you to come back in fifteen minutes. WIFE: Honey, who is it? MAN: It's the hooker I called for, but you haven't left. I told her to come back in fifteen minutes.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Poop.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

i am a duck. are you a duck. yes i am a duck.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

A baby seal walks into a club.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What did a lot of money say? I FEEL LIKE A MILLION BUCKS!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +5

ecks! why zee?

thumb_up thumb_down +36

roses are red violets are blue , but i would't know that because u never bring me flowers, you bastard .

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Mindfuck: They call you a patient where medics are because they do not want you to become impatient. The Coronel is the Kernel of the army (coronel sounds a lot like coronel no?) Sergeant = Sir gent. as in Sir gentle(man) Ok, so if you experience insanity one day, does that make you insane forever? In that case I was born and will die hungry and thirsty. Sigmund Freud= Sickman fraud. General: The guy you should generally listen to if you are in the army. 3.14 ratebay = PIRATE BAY! Why is Satan the antichrist, humans killed him :P Satan only "tempted his thirsty brother with water at the desert" Jesus showed real power by saying "NO WATER WHEN I AM THIRSTY IS BAD FROM MY BROTHER!"

thumb_up thumb_down +21

How did the chicken cross the road? Suicide. There was a graveyard across the street. RIP Mr. Chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

what worse than bitting into an apple and finding a worm bitting into a worm and finding an apple

thumb_up thumb_down +33

How can you tell if someone is a virgin? Everyone is a virgin in something. For example, if you never had sex with a dinosaur, then you are a virgin at dinosaur sex.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Bob: "Knock knock." Gerald: "who's there?" Bob: "your worst nightmare." Gerald: "your worst nightmare who?" Bob kicks open the door, kills Gerald, ties up his wife, sells his kids to slavery, and burns his house down.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

What did the peanut butter say to the jelly?

thumb_up thumb_down +55

Steve: Ask me if I'm a tree. John: Are you a tree? Steve: No.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

what is Justin Bieber+ One Less Lonely girl.... A BABY

thumb_up thumb_down +31

- Knock, knock. -- How many dead babies does it take to cross the street and walk into a bar? - That's an odd question to ask to a visitor. -- Your mom.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

how many cucumbers dos it take to change a light bulb? none. cucumbers cant change light bulbs. dumbass.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What did the man say before he got stabbed? What are you going to do, stab me?

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops