Why didn't Timothy wish his dad a Happy Father's Day? His dad died yesterday in a car accident.

There is a black man and a Mexican in a car. Who's driving? The driver.

Why was the Pizza Delivery boy crying? He was sad.

Why was the old lady hard of hearing? She spent many of her young days blasting hard rock from her speakers/

Why is six afraid of seven? Seven is a convicted rapist.

how did the dead baby cross the road? it was stapled to a chicken..

Wendy went for a walk every day in the forest. Why not today? She was shot yesterday

One day a man woke up and decided that he was going to do something with his life. He then got a haircut, took a shower and bought a nice new suit. After that he went home and cleaned up his whole house and invited his parents, that were not very close with him, over for dinner.An hour and thirty minutes before his parents got there, he went to the store to pick up some food to prepare for the very important dinner. On the way home he see's a homeless man walking on the side of the road. The man felt bad for him because he was poor so he gave him $10. He then proceeded home to make the dinner. The dinner turned out very well and he went to bed a better man.

Knock knock. Who's there? Potatoes. Potatoes who? Garlic salt.

Q: When do you know you've had to much to drink? A: When the zebra in your belly button starts talking to you

Q: What do you get when you put an ice cube, a grasshopper, a cell phone battery, and a human finger in a freezer? A: A very strange mix of objects indeed.

A man walked into a bar. "Ouch"

Q. Why did the boy get so fat? A. From playing Pokemon Pearl Edition

Chuck Norris can fly around the world in under 2 days. In an airplane.

Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? Finding a bomb in your apple.

Why couldn't the little kid get to sleep? His dog was on fire

An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman all walked into a bar. But, the bartender was not happy, as he had noticed that each of them were wearing tops with rude slogans on them. The Bartender said to the Englishman, "you do know that your t-shirt isn't suitable for the children in here, don't you?" "Oh," said the Englishman, "I'm sorry, I'll go home to change it at once." Next, came the Irishman, who's top was slightly worse than the Englishman's. The bartender said to the Irishman, "you do know that the joke on your jumper is sexist, don't you?" "Oh," said the Irishman, "I'm sorry, I'll go home and change it at once." Last, was the Scotsman. The Scotsman's top was particularly bad, and the bartender especially did not want this top to be seen in his bar. So, the bartender said to the Scotsman, "you do know that the slogan on your cardigan is racist, don't you?" "Oh," said the scotsman, "I'll go home and change it at once."

Why did the irishman go to the bar? because he was a designated driver and was picking up his friend.

How many dollies does little Suzie have? Enough to kill 15 men

What color do you wear if you're in the NAVY? Beige, white, sometimes camouflage - really, it depends on your rank and the situation.

A black man walks into a bar. He sits down and has a couple drinks. When he is finished, he generously tips the bartender and walks out.

Why couldn't the kid go into the pirate movie? Because it was rated PG-13 and he was only 11!

like for a handjob.

Q: What did the Big Bad Wolf say to Little Red Riding Hood? A: Nothing, wolfs are mentally nor physically capable of talking

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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