Why was Sally in a wheelchair? Her abusive father beat her repeatedly with a rake.. Then as she crawled out the door to try and get help, the abusive father took his Dodge Ram and ran over her legs reapeatedly. Then began to slap her. Luckily, a vigilante saw the whole thing and slaughtered the father with an axe and carefully escorted Sally to the hospital. After a couple of weeks of beautiful and extraordinary care, Sally made a full recovery and was able to leave.. and all patients have to leave in a wheelchair

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How was the copper wire invented? 2 Jews pulling on the same penny!

thumb_up thumb_down -5

a guy is driving home his wife calls him and she say's be careful there is a lunatic driving on the wrong side of the road towards traffic he then reply saying they all are

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What's more funny than a dead baby? A dead baby dressed like a clown.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Michael Brown

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Roses are red violets are blue I hate rhyming pancakes

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Whats worse than a pile of dead babies? A live one at the bottom.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Q: what did i say when i crashed into the twin tower. A: nothing i was dead

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did the kid say to Santa? Nothing, he was a goat.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Q: What did the little boy with cancer get for Christmas? A: A funeral.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

why didn't the boy go to school because he died last night

thumb_up thumb_down -32

 

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have alzheimers. Cheese on toast.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A man walks into a bar, a man behind him doesn't.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What's the difference between a black man and a couch? One is a human being and one is a piece of furniture.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Where do you live? In a house

thumb_up thumb_down -5

One day a man discovered he could suck his own penis. Unfortunately he was heterosexual and could derive no pleasure from doing so as he was acutely aware of the fact he had a penis in his mouth.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

So there were two palm trees on an island. The first palm tree says to the second, "Hey! What's up?" The second one replies, "Nothing much, just chilling." Except they were actually ice cubes.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

I couldn't decide whether to buy a pepperoni or a meat feast pizza? So i got neither and my two year old son died of starvation.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What was hitlers least favorite pokemon? Hitler didnt have a least favorite pokemon because hitler died long before the idea of pokemon was created.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

That awkward moment where all you want for Christmas is for your parents to get back together but then you realize that they died in a car crash

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Yo mama's so stupid, she put the baby in the microwave

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What do you get when you stab a four year old in the chest 57 times A dead body

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the hipster burn his tongue? The tea he was drinking was at an unsuitable temperature for consumption resulting in the scalding of his mouth.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops