A man walks into a bar, he has a terrible drinking problem and he is ruining his family.

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In America you read books, but in Soviet Russia, it's exactly the same as it is in America, because it's not possible for books to read humans.

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A man dressed in a white sheet shows up at an African American's door, they sit in the living room drinking coffee and watching the weather.

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i like tits

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Why do blind people laugh at this joke? Because they can't read it and everyone else is laughing.

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What did the Jewish man say to the Shia faction Muslim man? Even though we have different views on god and religion I value your friendship more than my religous views.

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Doctor, doctor, I think I've got a problem! Correct, you have got acute cancer, you have 2 months to live.

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Why is this website called anti joke.com? Because it has anti jokes.

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My girlfriend is getting an abortion tonight. Its a surprise.

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Hey girl, do you have a mirror in your pocket? Because I dropped one and I can't find it.

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Dad, why do people say mom is a nympho? No idea son, try asking one of your other dads.

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A doctor, a farmer, and a blonde walk into a bar. The doctor orders red wine because he knows it's good for the heart. The farmer orders a Piña Colada because he likes fruit. The two men wait eagerly to what the blonde is about to order. The blonde opens her purse and says "Damn it, I can't find my credit card." Suddenly, a handsome young gentleman walks up to her says "Don't worry miss, I'll buy a drink for you. What are you having?" The blonde looks up and says "Don't worry? I just lost my credit card!" In a fit a of anger, the blonde storms out the bar and doesn't order anything.

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Want to hear a tough toung twister? spoons

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other... Uh oh. A car just ran it over.

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once upon a time there was a cripple little girls who lived in an orfanage were she got raped then beat .

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Knock Knock COME IN!!!!

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What do you call a large group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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If I had a dollar for every time i got distracted, I want some ice cream

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What happened when the boy got sad He fell in a woodchipper

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Michael Jackson and Barack Obama talked to each other about oreos

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the slaughterhouse was on the other side.

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Whats the difference between platinum blondes? Absolutley nothing they all look exactly the same.

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Three politicians walk into a sports bar. Suddenly, everyone is watching the Stanley Cup playoffs.

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You: What gets wetter and wetter the more it dries? Person: A towel?! You: No, an aquaphilian woman drying off a car ;)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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