Who gets more action than my best friend Reese? My raped cousin....

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Why'd Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms Knock Knock Who's There Not Sally Why was the boy sad? Because he dropped his ice cream cone Why'd he drop his ice cream cone? Because he got ran over by a bus Why'd he get run over by a bus? BECAUSE SALLY WAS DRIVING

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what's the difference between two pieces of bacon and a blond girl? The blond girl is a human and it's against the law to eat her.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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A man told his daughter not to give his dog coffee. His daughter turned and told him that she was his nurse and his alzheimers is getting worse.

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What's not red? No tomatoes.

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What's the object with the most points according to science and math? A sphere.

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Why couldn't Jimmy wash his hair? He has leukemia and therefore no longer has hair.

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What's normally shaped like a rectangle, and is so thin, it gives people cuts? Paper.

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What did the orphan say to his parents? nothing

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What did the white man say to the black man at midnight? It's really dark out.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms

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A whore walks in to a bar. She soon finds her John and they leave to his hotel room.

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Why did John kill Maris? Because Maris killed his family.

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A mass murderer ran into a bar full of people. He first shot a man. What did the man say when the murderer shot him? Nothing, he was hit in the head and instantly died before he could say anything.

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y momma so fat that she's heavy

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Me, id rather be known as the antijoke rather than the antichrist, I offered him water at the desert just because I care. You killed him. Moral: Once you see the point of this joke, myself, I will be the one laughing, ten years and counting humanity, ten years or so, and the world belongs to me.

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Officer i'm dot nrunk, beriously you gotta selieve me!

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A horse walks into a bar. Bartender says "It's probably not a good idea that your in here, any sudden movements and you could seriously injure somebody. Our beer glasses aren't ergonomically designed for your kind of species. I'm going to have to ask you to leave"

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Where do you find a dead hooker? where you left her.

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What's green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

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What did the pet lion say to its owner? Nothing. Lions do not have the ability to speak. The lion then proceeded to hunt down its owner, pin him down and rip out his insides. Besides, the likelyhood of owning a lion as a pet is very slim, and even if one did, this act would be highly illegal in most parts of the world.

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Roses are Green Violets are Black Everything's different since I took crack

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Why didn't Little Timmy's parrot talk? It's neck had snapped.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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