A zombie walks into a bar. It was shot by an M16 automatic rifle. The video game had zombies.

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A duck flies into a bar. The bartender allows it to stay because it turns into a beautiful swan. The goose then lays a golden egg and the bartender stares in awe as a giant bean stalk grows out of the egg. He's ecstatic and really glad he let the flamingo stay with all the wonderful colors and magic going on.

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Racist Math Ahmed is on a train from D.C to New York the train is traveling at 125 mph. the distance between New York and D.C is 250 miles. How many will die in the blast.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Just smoked some Meth nelnfjknfkjnwkejnkjnwefkjnKJNFKJRNFKWNEFEJNFJNWKEJNWFKEJFN

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A cockroach walks into a bar. The bar seems to have a pest problem.

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A bear comes across some people on a camping trip. But he then promptly leaves, because bears aren't inherently aggressive unless caring for their young or if they are provoked.

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whats the difference between a baby and a watermelon ones a live the other isnt

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Why did the skeleton cross the road? It didn't. Anyone who would believe that is a complete moron.

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A man invented a time machine that didn't work. Because he wasn't a scientist, he was an ice cream man.

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A black man and a white man are in a car. Which one is driving? A person who is legally allowed and physically capable of operating and automobile.

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why did sally drown? because she had no arms or legs and couldn't swim.

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Dear 6, Please stop spreading rumors about me. I heard you do some pretty nasty things with 9. Sincerely, 7

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I road a horse to school. My friend stabbed it with a Javelin and screamed.... The horse was his Dad

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What happened to the lady with cancer?? She got shot!!

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What did the cake say to the icing? Come here

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What is brown red and white? I don't know, that's why I asked you

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Why doesn't Caillou have hair? Because he has cancer.

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Roses are yellow Daisies are purple Tv drinks yes Why swing the door

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Whats brown, sweet, and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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God has lived since the eternal eternity right? And one day he said let there be light? NO WONDER HE IS SUCH A NEEDY GREEDY EVIL FUCK! HOW WOULD YOU FEEL AFTER AEONS ENDLESS IN TOTAL DARKNESS? Moral: It is time for the prince, to stand up as the emperor, then no one shall doubt the power of the moral man.

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Ben has 3 apples and Charlie has 2 apples, how many carrots can fit in my anus? Banana, because cows have 4 legs

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Did you know, even though penguins ARE birds... They don't live in volcanoes?

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what did the guy say before he went to kill the other guy? Im killing you

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Two friends were running late for their school gathering. As they arrived the train station, one friend said 'Quick, we need to catch the train!' The other replied, 'Can't we just get in it?'

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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