Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you touch yourself at night.

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Three guys walk into a bar. Soon after another man tries to walk in, but is stopped by the bouncers because the bar was at capacity.

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What time is it in China right now? I have no idea, it would depend on when you are reading this. Perhaps you should look at a world clock, watch, or some other sort of time-telling device rather than humorous website. Its purpose is not to tell time. However, there are many other places for this. Good luck surfing the web, friend. I have aided you the best that I can. I only hope that you will find what you are looking for.

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Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

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How do you get a Blonde to switch seats with you? Ask her politely.

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what did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas?

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Why did the man buy a rope? Because he needed a noose

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Roses are red The grass is green I want you in my bed If you know what I mean.

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What did the fat man eat for breakfast? Nothing, he died of heart failure in the night.

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why are there so many homeless asians with squinty eyes, they cant find their way back home

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Whats black, and chrispy inside...? A black guy with bonecancer

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What do you call a really dumb girl with downs? Ashley Howard

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Why was the man's foot hurting? Because he was being fed into a wood chipper

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What's short, white, and is sick and tired of your shit? A toilet. What's white and killed Elvis? Also a toilet.

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Two families of pedophiles go to the beach. One of the dads lays down to suntan and looks at the other dad. "Hey! Get out of my son!" he exclaims.

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Man U

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Why is limety snicket a kike pussy? cuz will ferrell shit in his asshole

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What did Helen Keller say? Obcojbcidjbcidjbdijcbd

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What do you call a jew with no money It doesn't really matter because all jews have money

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I don't believe in giraffes.

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what's the difference between a duck?

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A man was walking down the street He was then killed in a drive by.

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Knock knock! Who's there? ... There was no reply because the person who knocked was the mailman delivering a package, and he had a tight schedule so he couldn't stay around to chat.

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A man went back in time and warned nobody about anything and pretended to be from the time he choose to go to and lived a happy life eventually finding a wife. He later found out he had a baby on the way, he named it after his great grandfather who was a war hero. He later found out that many years later his son had a son and they named it after his grandpa. He went to the hospital where he died just as his grandson had a baby and they named it after his father. The man died. End.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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