What do you call a black man helping an old woman cross the road? A concerned citizen.

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What do you call a Muslim in control of a plane? A pilot

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Why does the man ignore his wife? Because he is dead.

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If somebody chucks skittles at you saying taste the frickin rainbow Run over them with a car and say "NationWide is on your side!!! ????

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Why do they bury lawyers 10 feet deep? Because deep down they are really good people.

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How did the man escape the giant scorpion? He didn't he watched as his family died and waited for his demise crying in the corner of the scorpion's layer

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I like the Tsarnaev brothers. They ran the Boston marathon and had a BLAST!

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Ouch, a papercut .. what could be worse? A hatchet cut.

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What's green, little, and eats rocks? A Little Green Rock-Eater What's green and has a thousand wheels? A lawn, I lied about the wheels! If I were to throw a rock down the a whole in the center of the earth (straight through) what would happen? The Little Green Rock-Eater would eat it!

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whats worse than killing people that have bags on their heads? finding out that the people that u have just killed were your own children.

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What is the difference between a black man and a bike? Bikes are not human beings and therefore cannot experience the ups and downs a human being experiences.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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Turn your Caps Lock off, people think you're yelling at them, Stephen Hawking.

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What did Death say to Life? "Look, I respect that you waited till after I broke up with Sandy to ask her out, but it's still a little akward for me, so although there are no hard feelings, it's probably better if we keep our distance from each other for awhile."

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Do thumbs down me likes in this anti joke website?

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Women's sports

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What's the difference between your mother and a mallard with a cold? One's a sick duck; the other regrets having you as a child.

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Where do five gay guys walk? Where ever they want to. This is a free country, where people are free to travel as the please, no matter what their sexual orientation may be

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jeffrey: Do you know what happened on the 5th of november? gerald: No jeffrey: I cant remember

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Why did the young boy lose a testicle? Because he was viciously raped by a large parrot

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why are there so many peadofiles in the world? sexy kids.

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why does the octopus have no friends? because they're anti social by nature

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What would you do if I said a horse ate your mother? It doesn't mattet, I didn't

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Obama One Big Ass Mistake America

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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