How did the fat man survive the plane crash? He didn't, he died like everyone else!

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What has two thumbs and cancer? This guy.

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What happened to the child drowning in a pool? He was saved by the well-trained lifeguard.

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How do you keep a black man from hanging around your tree? You cut the rope.

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A women gets a call saying her only daughter is trapped inside a burning building. She runs as fast as she can too her car before she realizes... women can't drive due to their role in society.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a toothpick

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm colorblind.

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A man who was not blind, but could not see, walks around a metal bar, and proceeds to the bar, where he walks into the door without opening it first

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What's green and has four wheel? A tractor.

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A nuclear reactor explodes and all the waste are going straight out in the ocean. Look at my new shoes.

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What did the drunk man say to his wife? "I love you, Honey"

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Why did the black man have no toes? Because during his climb of Everest, he got frostbite and they had to be amputated.

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Knock Knock Who's there? the mailman.

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why did the mans hair start to get shorter the barber was shaving it!

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A man walks in to a bar. He then walks in to a different bar, and later that evening he goes into a different third bar. That man is a bar critique.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

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Why did the chicken cross the road? For a legitimate reason

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You will not press the like button.

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Why is ms Wolfe mean? Because she is a poop face

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Q.sam is 18 years old, why can't she get her licence? A.because Sam is a lost dog on the street

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Women

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"Who stole the cookies from the cookie jar?" said the little girl. "I don't know", said the mother," we were robbed of all our money and posessions. And your father was killed while we were gone.

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A paper cut is a tree's last revenge.

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A man walks into a bar He's an alcoholic and it's ruining his family

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops