How do you get 100 Jews into a Volkswagon? You don't. It's impossible to fit that many people into a car that small.

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Did you hear about the guy who fell off the mountain? Oh, well he died

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken never made it across the road because it was hit by a car with a driver who is obsessed with abusing animals.

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Whats worst than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Being stabbed.

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Why did the chicken crossed yo mama? Because your moms a man and your birth certificate was an apology letter from the condom factory.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop? That depends on a variety of factors.

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Why is Barney green and purple? Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way.

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A blonde and a brunette nearly fell off a cliff and were hanging on for dear life. The brunette found the strength to climb back onto the ledge. The blonde was impressed and had muscular dystrophy so she lost the strength to hold on any longer and fell to her death.

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knock knock who's there? nobody. then why are you knocking?

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What is the quickest way to a mans heart? Through his chest with a stick.

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What's the difference between a 7 year old boy and a 50 year old man? Hair.

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On a scale of 1 to 10, 7 being the highest, what is you favorite color

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Why does an Irish cop wear a belt? To hold up his pants.

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? Well the chicken was very confused and had no logical brain power to think or know where it was going. Once he crossed the road he went into the ice cream parlor but was soon kicked out due to lack on communication

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Why did the vegetarian eat a steak? Because he was not a vegetarian

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Why was the boy sad? He had just had his legs amputated and will never walk again.

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Why did Suzie fall of the swing? The chain broke.

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What did the fat man say when he was offered infinite french fries for life? Yes.

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How to have a cheap party in just 5 steps: 1. Buy 100 McDonald's burgers and give everyone food poisoning 2. Bring out that black serial killer's mask you've been working on. 3. Bring out that sharp knife. 4. Slit everyone's throats. 5. Dance.

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If Life Throws You Melons, Then You're Probably Dyslexic. -S.H.A.T Brother 2Flush

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Why did the man cry when he was surrounded by black men? He got a call saying his mother had just died.

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YOUIR MAMA IS SO UGLY THAT SHE MIGHT WANT TO LOOK INTO PLASTIC SURGERY TO BETTER HER APPEARENCE

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Adam Fantuzzi loves stroking jacobs small penis

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Where do 5 gay guys go????? One Direction.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops