Why was the little boy's hair messed up on picture day? Because he was brutally stabbed in the face.

i like my women how i like my coffee ....i dont like coffee

whats the difference between and black guy and a bench? a bench can supoort a family

Why did the 40 year old man quickly close his web page when his wife called his name? Because he had to leave.

Women's rights.

what do you call a middle eastern man on a plane? a passenger.

Is this your pen? I wanna go to school, bye!

In space, no one can hear you scream. Which means Xenomorphs are deaf.

Whats brown and rhymes with Snoop?...... Dr Dre.

I had a chocolate chip cookie today, thats it, just a chocolate chip cookie.

Ding-Dong.............no knock-knocking required

Why did the hunter shoot the deer? Because he was hungry and might starve to death if he didnt

Two cannibals were eating a clown. One says to the other "Does this taste funny to you?!" ...Two days later, both of the cannibals became very ill with food poisoning. Always ensure meat is cooked thoroughly before eating.

Who let the dogs out? The burglar, he broke the door and they ran out.

What did the kitty say when it's owner called him over? Nothing. It's owner killed him.

Why did the boy miss a day off school? He was in a coma

Why did the black man go to school? So he could graduate with a degree and persue his life in medicine. He later goes on to get his P.H.D. He now supports his healthy family of 5 and living in Idaho, the state of the potato. He has a job as a doctor and is making more than $2M a year. Ha, didn't expect that now did ya.

What did the the policeman say to the band member who trashed a hotel room? "You're under arrest" The band member replied "Well, you're under a vest" The policeman reiterates that this isn't the time to be making any jokes and that vandalism is a very serious offence

What is brown and sticky? Maple Syrup.

John's life hasn't been the same since committing suicide 13 years ago.

What is brown and sticky? A lot of things are brown and sticky

Why was Lucile crying? Because she was sad.

Why did the fat person build a lift in his house? He was caring for his terminally ill mother which has a cancer and got both her legs amputated due to the cancer spreading to her legs.

Yes, it's for the patiënt in the other room.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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