An Italian, a Mexican, and an American all stand in one room. The Italian throws pasta out the window and says "We have too much of this in our country." The Mexican throws a taco out the window and says "We have too much of this in our country." The American throws a burger out the window and says "We have too much of this in our country."

Q:How do you make an accountant cry ? A: You kill his whole family

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

why did you poop because you are a poop

- Knock Knock!! - whos there? - KGB - KGB wh........... *slap* - vwe vwill ask the questions!!!!!!! - Knock Knock!! - whos there? - KGB - Mom the KGB is here again....... - i dont care just answer the damn door - 5 seconds later nobody answers the door....... u here a crash and all of a sudden big men run in with guns - one comes over and slaps the mother while he continues to say " the KGB vwill vwait for no one!!!!!" - every body in the house is shot and and the KGB goees on to tlive normal lives........ for the KGB

There was an english man, and irishman and an pakistani sitting in a bar. What a wonderful example of racial & cultural differences bing put to one side while they are socialising in a friendly environment.

Why was the asian bad at sex? Because he was 5 years old

Why did the chicken cross the street? Because it could without dying.

Knock knock Who's there? Rick Rick who? Your wife's boss. I regret to inform you that your wife has sustained a injury on the job and she is in intensive care... I also regret to inform you that your insurance doesn't cover the injury

besides saying "Oh, Yeah" and punching down walls, what does the kool-aid man do? drink cool aid

When's the best time to kill a black man? Never. Committing murder is a felony and constitutes as highly immoral.

A germaphobe is in a room full of sick people. He leaves.

Doctor, people dont notice me anymore, doctor?... HEEEEEEEEEEEY!

A goose walks into a bar. Maybe he should have ducked.

What did the penguin say to the other penguin? Nothing, penguins don't talk.

A man walks into a vagina. The man, expecting a holiday inn, is very confused, and later gets mauled by five bears, who mistook his scent for a fish.

Why did the chicken cross the road? If you don't know the answer by now, there's something wrong with you.

what is behind your butt? DEEZ NUTS

Did you know that Hellen Keller had a roller coaster in her backyard? Neither did she

The hippo's an African beast, Who notably is quite obese, Quite boorish and mean And never too lean And poops in the rivers, at least...

Q: Whats blue and white and if it fell out of a tree it could kill you? A: A tree wearing a denim jacket.

Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? He died! Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was attached to the first! Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? He thought it was a game! Why did the fridge fall out of the tree? The branch broke! Why did Sally fall off her bike? She got hit by three monkeys and a fridge!

So a jelly bean walks into a bar. The bartender asks him "whatchuu doin here jelly bean" the jelly bean doesn't respond and sits there awkwardly because he neither speaks English nor has the brain capacity to move or breathe. The bartender closes the store and comes back the next day to find the bean in the same awkward position.

Why are objects in your mirror closer than they appear? Because they are closer than they appear.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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