Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Knock Knock. who's there? James. well use the doorbell.

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hi

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your mama so fat she should go see a doctor.

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Knock, Knock! Go away!

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Knock, Knock... Who's there? Your mother and I are getting a divorce.

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Why did the Spice Girls stop performing? They mutually agreed to stop performing.

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What starts with P and ends with O-R-N? Popcorn

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Why did Lucy fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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How many teachers would it take to find their way out of a maze? Depends on their area of speciality. If the teacher(s) are mathematicians or logicians, probably one or two at most. If they are home economics teachers, possibly more.

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A narwhall walks into a store and asks the cashier where he keeps the soap products. The cashier does not speak english.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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What did the dinosaur say to the koala? Nothing because the dinosaur is extinct and both of which cannot talk.

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What happened when the black man approached a dinosaur? Nothing, for dinosaurs were eradicated from the face of the earth 135 million years ago.

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What's worse than listening to a teacher talk? This joke.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I've got revenge And you got big boobs. :3 Roses are blue Violets are red I'm bad poet Now i'm dead. O_O

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Why did the car stop To buy drugs

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Why do the Chinese eat cats? Because it is a good source of protein that is relatively easy to obtain. Really, it's not much different than killing pigs for food.

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A man walks into a bar. He realizes that he would need a designated driver if he would want to return home safely. So he then leaves.

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a black guy, mexican guy, and asian guy race to hop over a window. Who was the LAST one to hop it? the mexican because he had to clean it first.

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So a priest and a rabbi walk into a bar. They order some wine and have an enjoyable evening.

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Q:What is the difference between a Blonde and a Ginger? A: Hair Color

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A Man, a chicken and a horse walk in to a bar and sit down at the stools near the jukebox. The jukebox is playing Love Me Tender. The Bartender notices the man pull something from his pocket and hand it to the chicken who takes it in her beak and then turns to the horse and passes it to him. "What'll it be?" says the Bartender. "methamphetamines", says the horse ironically.

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Of course, you have always found more joy in seeing others happy, that pursuing your own happiness.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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