what did i get my mom for her birthday? Nothing im selfish

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Jewwy Jewstein

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This is an anti-anti joke. I don't expect him to get it.

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An apple a day keeps the doctor away. Unless your father is a doctor and you live with him.

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What does a dishwasher and the holocaust have in common? Not much.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It just didn't.

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A man sees another man standing at the edge of a tall bridge looking down. Man: Don't jump! No one wants you to die. You have your whole life to live and I'm sure you will find happiness somewhere. I was once in the same position as you, questioning if god really wanted me on this earth at all. But I decided to make something of myself and now I am a very successful business man. You can do the same if you just put your mind to it and put your troubles behind you. Other man: I was just admiring the view.

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If you see a person falling down your balcony, Say cya later!

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Wy was the lamp crying, because his mother turned into mashed potatoes.

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Why did the blond crave hotdogs for breakfast? She was likely suffering a sodium deficiency from violently throwing up the night before.

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What do Jews always complain & want money for? Anything

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have schizophrenia And so do I..

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ask me if im poop are you poop? no that is impoible

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Two men walk into a bar. The bar was being robbed. They were both shot in the confusion.

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What do you call nacho cheese? Stolen.

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Doctor: I have good news and bad news. The good news is that your parents survived the car accident. Kid: And the bad news is? Doctor: I have a horrible sense of humor, they're both dead. I'm so sorry.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, it was kind of by chance that it crossed the road and what is the big deal lots of animals cross the road. For example possums, squirrels, deer, raccoons, cats, dogs, rabbits do pretty often too it's weird because sometimes more rabbits cross the road on Easter I don't know if that's just me though, chipmunks, bears, over in Africa probably tigers and lions cross those roads.

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Last Christmas I gave you my heart but the very next day your body rejected the transfer and you died.

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What happened to Liam? He Died.

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A tree walks into a bar and the bartender asks "why the log face?".

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What happens when an old lady bumps into a black man in the middle of the night? He politely offers her help getting home and she accepts.

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Theres 3 guys walking and the see a genie. He says hell grant 3 wishes. The first guy asked for sandals. The genie said"I can do that" and he got sandals. The second guy asked for rock hard abs.The genie said,"sure thing".When he looked down, he saw that he had rock hard abs. The third guy asked for a pair of pants."ok" Said the genie. And then he got a pair of pants.

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What happened to the man taking a shit? An unfortunate drop of water splashed back onto his arse

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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