How many bears does it take to screw in a light bulb? None; it’s a fairly menial task requiring little more than a single human hand. Requisitioning any number of bears for the effort would be an extremely dangerous “Rube Goldberg”-esque solution to simple problem.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue. Vodka is cheaper than dinner for two.

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I met a hot girl in the Tampon aisle and i asked if she wanted to hang out in 5-7 days

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What do you call a fat kid with no arms and an eye-patch? Names.

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What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter, it won't go to you anyways.

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How does a black man spell Jack J-A-C-K

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Q: A black man is walking down the street with a television, where did he just come from? A: Best Buy, he just got a bonus, and wanted to reward himself.

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So a baby seal walks into a club...

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Woah again Nero, you are so wise... I love you, I really do. If someone can and has already changed the world for the better, its you. No wonder people believe you have superhuman abilities, I used to think so too, but I think I understand what humans can do on another level now, you did that, thank you.

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the your face joke

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What happened when the Asain woman got in her car? A speeding drunk driver hit her and now she is paralyzed from the neck down.. Its a tragic story

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Knock Knock. Please stop peddling your religion on my doorstep. .

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Guy 1: "hey look that homeless guy is riding a bike!" Guy 2 " Ya i know and look, there's a dead pro biker other there"

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why did the mother beat the young boy? Because he was adopted

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I killed someone on minecraft.

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What did hitler say to the jews? Die.

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whats the diferrence between a bush and an old lady? it be wierd if a bush had an old lady.

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Knock Knock who's there its black george washington.

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A man walks into a bar and says "hey, it's me!". Turns out that wasn't him.

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A Mexican and an Irishman walk into a bar. They have a couple drinks. Then they leave because it turns out that wasn't the bar they were meeting the Jew at.

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

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what did the person with yellow teeth and the person with white teeth have in common? they have a nose.

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Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it thought it was a game. Why did the tree fall over? Because it thought it was a squirrel.

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Why'd the second squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was tied to the first one.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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