Roses are red Violets are blue Sugar is sweet You have pancreatic cancer

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Roses are Red Violets are blue You little stupid ass bitch I ain't fucking with you

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Why couldn't kitty drink it's milk?\ It's face was nailed to the floor

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What did the farmer say when he didn't like his tractor? Man, i don't like this tractor

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yo mama is so old, so old that she was given senior citizen discount at the restaurant.

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Why couldn't the mother make her son's funeral? She died in a car crash on the way there.

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Roses are blu Violets are red Im colored blind

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Why did the bear eat a group of children? It was hungry.

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Why did Sally cross the road? Because she fell off a tree. Why did Sally fall off the tree? Because Sally wanted to cross the road.

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An Asian, white, and a black man decide to play Russian Roulette. The Asian goes first and shoots himself in the head. The white man picks up the gun for his turn. The black man runs down the street screaming. Cops see him and the white man holding the gun, both are sent to jail for life for the murder of their friend.

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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What do a van and a pencil have in common? You can write with both, except with the van.

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What do you call a pool full of black people? a pool full of black people.

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What's worse than Twilight? New Moon. What's worse than New Moon? Eclipse. What's worse than Eclipse? Breaking Dawn. What's worse than Breaking Dawn? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Breaking Dawn Part 2.

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What is black and red? Something that is black and red.

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When is your birthday? November 13 what year? every year

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How many lesbians does it take to change a lightbulb? One. But after she does this, se will probably have sex with another woman

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A bunch of nuns were riding a three-seat bicycle. The seats were comfy and no one complained.

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A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was a nurse said, "No change. He's likely to die, too."

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My teacher told me to so a report on women rights.....I turned in a blank sheet! ^.^

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A man walks into a bar and shuffles his way through the intoxicated patrons. He finds the only open stool and quickly sits in it before any other see it. The bartender approaches him and ask: "What will it be?" The man replies: "Can I have a beer?"

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Roses are red, Violets are violet.

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im gonna poop my pants. mom said to wipe afterwards i am a teletubby

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Q: Whats the biggest lie? A: The Cake...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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