why did tom get HIV? He was raped by a giant scorpion

thumb_up thumb_down +33

well use a tissue!

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What is the difference between 10 dead babies and a 1,000,000 dollar car I don't have a 1,000,00 dollar car

thumb_up thumb_down +4

It was the eve of December and a man was using a blanket why? because it was cold and he wanted to be able to function properly at work so his boss would not get mad at him because he respected his boss and wanted to make him happy

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Knock knock. Who's there? Come in.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

wut did the cow say to the other cow thet's get a moo shake

thumb_up thumb_down -19

a chinese man pays the full price

thumb_up thumb_down -24

what is the opposite of underpants? overpants

thumb_up thumb_down -35

What do you call a dog with 3 legs? Just because it has 3 legs dosnt mean you have to call it anything different

thumb_up thumb_down -6

How do you get to pigs in a pen? Move them.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What was the pirates grade? Arrr That isn't a valid grade

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Whats worse than finding a repeated joke on anti joke? The holocaust Whats worse than finding a repeated joke on anti joke? The holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down -12

I walked into my maths lesson and my teacher told me to point out the uncommon variable. ..So i pointed at the ginger black man in the corner.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

what does a buttler put in a closet ? stuff.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How did Helen Keller burn her hands? On a candle.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did the cricket say to the fox? Cricket.

thumb_up thumb_down

What do you call a snail driving a boat? An accident waiting to happen.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What gets louder as it gets smaller? A baby in a trash compactor.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Id like to apologize for the one below (near the end yeah at the very end yeah that near you fuck!) When I said I give candy to etc etc I did mean I do not give candy to... Well... Nothing male, and I do not apologize, thank you. Shortie: Me as a Sociopath vs Sociopath with faster gunplay: So A Sociopath moved into my neighborhood, he arrived at my place and said hey you? You the sociopa... "BOOM" Moral: Shoot first, listen later... And if you hear something keep shooting... Anyway that was not the Sociopath but I got him eventually.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why didn't the Baby wake up? Because it was dead

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What's worse than farting in front of your boyfriend? Farting on your boyfriends pillow and giving him pink eye.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do 69 and 420 have in common? That was my score on my Math final:(

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's better than finding a worm in your apple? -The Holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down +4

what's faster than a snail? Usain Bolt

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops