Alright, if you guess it right, I'll stop playing Mario and finish my division problems. Okay, Mom, call it in the air! Heads or Tails? Huntington's Disease is the reason your Father doesn't remember your name anymore, Billy. There's a fifty percent chance you'll end up with it too. I am so sorry. Also, Tails.

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What was Hitlers first toy? An easy back oven.

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Why did the nervous man jump out of a plane? He was sky diving.

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What does a black person call black friday? Friday

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Once upon a time, You have a nice rack...

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Ok so there were 2 white dudes telling black jokes...so one of the white dudes tells a joke to the other... 1st dude: what's brown and tall? 2nd dude: a tree 1st dude: no that scary black man who looks like he wants to beat us up.

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why was the black man on the bus? cause he needed to get to work

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why did a girl walk down the alley? because her name was alley!

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Why did the teacher give the little boy a golden star? He was a Jew and it was in Germany during the 1940's

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What's worst than a holocaust 2 holocaust's

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what do you call it when everyone becomes tolerant about gender identity. whatever pronoun it prefers.

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A musician without any music walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Who do you think you are, a hobbit?" The musician without any music says,"yeah" and turns into a hobbit

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A policeman walks into a bar. He goes inside to greet his friend who happens to be the bartender. Another man walks into the bar. This man is a regular customer and goes to the bar almost every other night. The policeman leaves and goes back on duty.

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What do you do when a burglar breaks into your house and tries to kill and rape you and you family? Nothing, he as an AK-47 and shoots you all dead and then has sex with your corpses.

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Where does Osama bin Laden do his shopping? He doesn't, he's dead.

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a horse walks in to a bar and the bar tender asks, "why the long face?" The horse doesn't respond because it is a horse and is confused by its surroundings and then gallops out of the bar knocking over a few tables as it makes its escape.

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Y did the first squarl fall out of the tree? It died Y did the 2nd squarl fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first Y did the 3rd squarl fall out of the tree? Peer presure. Why did bobby fall off his bike? He got hit by 3 squarls Y did bobby die? He got run over by a truck:)

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What's black and white and read all over? A lot of things.

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Doctor: Knock, Knock Woman: Who's there? Doctor: Interrupting Doctor Woman: Interupt- Doctor: You have cancer

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't it got hit by a speeding moped.

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Why did the boy fall off of the swing? Because he had no arms

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The Pope, a Rabi and an Islamic religious leader go into a room and come out with what? A new understanding of each others cultures.

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Q: What's worse than getting a divorce? A: I don't know, i'm still married.

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Why did you insult me and then punch me in the face? The hell if you care anymore, I killed you straight after. Neo-Nero. (Rest in peace Nero7 better known as The Moral Man, I hope I can one day live up to your greatness.) Moral: "Keep your spirits up, we are all going to die sometime, but life means nothing if we lose faith in ourselves and each other" Moral 2: "Nero Septimus, that will be my first and last moral that made a figment of fucking sense, if you are watching from whatever comes from life, I know that this is what you would have done, but just so you know and always wanted for us that followed you, I am doing this for my own goddamn fucking self, respects... Now if your ghost is still watching, get the fuck out of my room you damn cripple, and know that your arm is somewhere in the basement because its so goddamn bad ass that it fucking freaks me out, and so fucking heavy that I think you where some sort of superhuman, now gtfo, as you taught us, we cant focus on the goddamn afterlife, if we are gonna get the best out of life and the present, adios amigo"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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