*knock knock* Who's there? *Gorilla* Gorilla who? *Gorillas don't hoot, owls hoot*

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What happend to the gay kid that walked into iran. He got shot and killed ????

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that green thing is not a leaf, it's my sister

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?", laughs at his own joke, then calls animal control.

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If there's something strange in you neighbourhood, who you gonna call? my mate Jonno who has a gun.

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why was the 40 year old still a virgin? it doesnt know either.

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An astronaut walks into a bar. He orders a beer. After waiting for about 1 and a half minutes he receives his beer. The bartender says it was 3 dollars. The astronaut checks his wallet and finds no money so he pays with credit card. The bartender swipes his credit card but the card doesn't work. So the astronaut takes out his debit card. When the bartender swipes the debit card it worked. In relief the astronaut looks at the bartender and says "Thank you" and then goes home.

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Why did the man fall of his bike? He wasn't on his bike, i drowned him yesterday.

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I have read and agree to the Terms of Service

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why was the boy sad? because his mom just punched his hamburger

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What time is it when an elephant sits on your car? 12:00

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Why did Hayden Bryant walk down the street? Because he can, dont doubt Hayden Bryant.

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Why couldn't the black man be an astronaut? He was not qualified for the Job

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An anteatter walks into a bar, the bar tender says "hey renee zellweger"

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roses are red violets are blue i have AIDS now so do you.

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What do you call a Chineses filled with bus?

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Roses Are Potato, Violets Are Booze, Im Irish and i hate Jews.

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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A man walks into a bar and breaks his nose, he asks the bartender for help The bartender says "no you're a f***ing idiot"

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What did the black guy say to the japanese ninja with super fighting skills? Nothing, because he neck was sliced before he could.

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why didn't the baby cry once it came out of the womb? because it was a stillborn.

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don't do anything i wouldn't do first

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Ask me if I'm a grapefruit. -Are u a grapefruit? NO!

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A turtle that couldn't swim walked to Japan.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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