Why wasn't the Asian at work? Because the sweat shop was closed on Sundays...

How do you get a woman out of a car? You drive it into a river and her body will float to the top.

Barbara Streisand

Miley Cyrus.

In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

Why do people laugh at the number 69? Honestly I don't know, its just a number isn't it?

A duck walks into a bar. Animal control is notified, and the duck is released into a nearby park.

Why was the boy confused? Because somebody had been running around in circles around him and throwing plastic cups at his face.

A father and son are involved in a car crash. The father is killed, sadly, but the boy is rushed to the hospital. The doctor prepares for surgery, and since this boy has no family-connections to her, she performs successful surgery on him, and the boy goes home after 3-5 days.

Why did the bartender leave the bar? He worked really long hours and finally needed some time to sleep.

person: Ask me if i'm a tree other person: are you a tree? person: no

I fear I do, maybe someone fooled you, but that was originally one of my aliases.

There were a dog and a cat in a family house. The dog turned to the cat and said .. nothing because a dog can not speech the human language.

What's brown and sticky? The faeces of a glue stick.

What do you call a man sitting at the bar drinking alone? An alcoholic.

when i walk in the living room this is what i see... Luci's big eyes are stairing at me! (Luci is a dog) (Pita is a cat) I start a hissing and a scratchin and i ain't affrid to bite her, bite her, bite her, I"M PITA AND I KNOW IT!!!

You can lead a fool to wisdom, but you can't make him think.

Q: What did the rectum say to the Anus? A: "Your a waste."

What hurts worse than a papercut? Divorce.

How did the chef bake 20 muffins for the king? My name is Bob.

Do you know how I know you're gay? 'Cuz your penis tastes like shit.

What's worse than 100 dead babies stapled to a wall? 100 live babies stapled to the wall!!!

So there's this boy who really love clowns. His room is adorned with circus and clown posters and his one dream is to go to a circus and see a clown. One day he sees an ad in the newspaper for a circus that was headed toward his town. He begged and pleaded to his parents to let him go, and when they finally agreed he was ecstatic. The boy was in awe of all the things that the circus held, elephants, lions, tightrope walkers and trapeze artists, but there was nothing he was more excited for then the main show with the clowns. He took a seat and out came the clown on a unicycle. The boy was having the time of his life, when the clown suddenly called for someone from the audience. The boy immediately ran to the center of the stage. The clown asked the boy "Are you a horse's head?" then held the mic to the boy. "No," he replied. "Are you a horse's mouth?" "No." "Then you must be a horse's BUTT!" The crowd erupted in laughter and the boy was mortified. He ran out of the circus tent and vowed never to return. He grew up with a hatred for clowns and even had to see multiple therapists. 30 years passed and the boy was now a man. The man looked in his morning paper, only to see that a circus was in town. He decided he would visit one last time. There it was, the elephants and tightrope walkers. And then he saw it, the same clown from 30 years ago in the same show. He walked up and the clown asked the same questions. "Are you a horse's head?" "No." "Are you a horse's mouth?" "No." "Then you must be a horse's BUTT!" Then man the took the microphone from the clown and said, "Screw you clown."

Q. A man walks into a library and asks the librarian for a book on suicide? A. The librarian hands the man a book on suicide

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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