Why don`t women need watches? Because in our modern society, there are many clocks in most locations.

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How many cows can you fit in a field? It depends on how big your field is.

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A black guy bought fried chicken and grape soda and decided to eat in the park. He had a sip of the grape soda and said "aaaaaaahhh grape drank!" There was a man dressed in a grape coustume drinking out of the fountain.

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Why did the hedgehog cross the road? To return to its nest.

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How many times has Susie fallen off the swing? Not enough.

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Q: How do you make a plumber cry? A: Kill his family.

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Why did the kid start to cry? His parachute didn't open.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme Others just don't

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Bob: why didthe chicken cross the road? Tom: why? Bob: to get to your house Knock knock Tom: whos their Bob: the chicken

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Brown Bear, Brown Bear what do you see? I see some poachers looking at that tiger over there.

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Where did the kittens go on their class filed trip? Nowhere, animals are not permitted to enter a museum unless they are eye seeing dogs helping a person who lacks vision.

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How do you get a tower to move? Hit it with a plane.

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How many dyslexic people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Filing cabinet.

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2 blondes walk into bolemics anonymous.

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Y did the first squarl fall out of the tree? It died Y did the 2nd squarl fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first Y did the 3rd squarl fall out of the tree? Peer presure. Why did bobby fall off his bike? He got hit by 3 squarls Y did bobby die? He got run over by a truck:)

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David Cameron

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream ? He got hit by a bus !

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What did Heinrich Himmler say to the chicken? I'll take that liver thanks.

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"Hey, do you guys wanna hear a joke?!" -no, shut up.

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What's worse than your mom finding out she has AIDS? After she found out she had AIDS she stormed out of the hospital and got run over by a bus.

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We was all sat down at the table ready to eat then Gary must've said something to Lucy because she just burst into tears and left the table.

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Why don't blind men skydive? Because it would be unwise for a man who can't see to be jumping out of planes, completely unaware of his surroundings.

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How to have a cheap party in just 5 steps: 1. Buy 100 McDonald's burgers and give everyone food poisoning 2. Bring out that black serial killer's mask you've been working on. 3. Bring out that sharp knife. 4. Slit everyone's throats. 5. Dance.

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What's worse than having a friend in a car accident? Laughing at their funeral.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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