Why did the cow puke up his grass? Because it is necessary so that the cow can re-chew his food to aid with the digestion.

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A dog walks into a bar and orders a pint of beer The barman replies : Woof Woof

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Hello I'm a fat kid

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LOL i just pissed on Hitlers grave! Shoudn't killed the Jews BITCH!

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What's the difference between your garage and mine? A pile of dead babies.

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What did the man say to his wife at the funeral. Nothing, he was dead

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two snow men standing in a field and one says to the other can you smell carrots

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what did the unicorn say to the centaur? nothing because neither exist

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Q: What happens when two planes both crush a tower in New York City? A: Bad news.

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Why was the Mexican socially inept. Because he hadn't recieved a good education

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? I t was dead. Why did the chicken fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the monkey.

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Why didn't Sarah come to school today? She had a heart attack and died.

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A young girl walks out of a bar then gets raped.

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how do you make a door cry? twist its nob

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What do you call Helena… A Shady palm tree

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What do get when you mix cancer and a bike? Lance Armstrong

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Q: Why did Tom bought a new sweeper? A : because his grandma fired their maid

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A duck walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "What'll it be?" The duck replies, "whiskey". The bartender gives the duck the drink and the duck sips it quietly, knowing he is ruining his life. Meanwhile, two cows in a pasture look for some grass to eat.

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Erron who the hell are you? How many people are you going to use before you finish whatever the fuck is on your agenda?

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When life gives you lemons, make grape juice, then watch the world as they wonder how you did it

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Confucius says... The superior man, when resting in safety, does not forget that danger may come. When in a state of security he does not forget the possibility of ruin. When all is orderly, he does not forget that disorder may come. Thus his person is not endangered, and his States and all their clans are preserved.

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What's the difference between a pizza and a Jew? A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven.

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How do you get a Blonde to switch seats with you? Ask her politely.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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