A woman gets home from bying tampons to use later in the month. She walks into the house and sees a heart box with a note from her husband of 5 years. The note reads: Roses are red - violets are blue - Fudge Is Sweet - Heres some Fudge...........She then puts the note down, eats the fudge, and has diarrhea a few hours later. The husband comes home and feels bad because he forgot that fudge upsets his wife's stomach. Later that night the wife asks her husband to have anal sex with her. The husband agrees but later regrets his action since his dick is now discolored and smells of shit..........Two days later the family dog dies. The wife and husband mourn. I like cheese

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You know what they call men who make kitchen jokes? Single.

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Who is the most vile man in Britain? Jerry Carr, the guy who works at the casino.

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Can Helen Keller keep a secret? No, she didn't hear it in the first place

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What's worse than eating half a worm? Eating somebody's brain.

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There are two muffins in a oven, the first muffin is chocolate chip and the second muffin is blueberry.

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Why are kenyans so fast? Because due to evolutionary changes, people from that area of the world have evolved to have superior muscle builds to sprint, hence giving them a natural advantage against an equally trained athlete form another part of the world with an equal skill level

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WWII veteran screamed! "You damn yellow monkey!!!" "But sir... ...my fur is brown!" Replied the monkey.

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Why did the little boy want to sleep with his parents in their bed on the only night in weeks they'd planned to have sex? His bedroom was on fire.

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A kid walks into a shop and asks the shopkeeper for a loaf of bread. The shopkeeper says, "White, wholemeal or multigrain?". The kid replies, "No thanks. My bike's outside".

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Knock Knock Whos There Policeman Policeman who Please open then door your fathers been in a terrible car accident

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Did you know? that if you were to stretch out all your organs to see how far theyd stretch? youd die.

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why did the black man shoot himself? because he commited a crime and was sorry for what he had done

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Why did the batmobile lose a wheel? Because the Joker was raping Robin too hard!

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its was amazinglysmooth fuck off

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Aaron Cummings is me. Find me on facebook:)

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How did the man want his hair cut? In silence.

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-The proceeding statement is true. -The preceeding statement is false.

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Who's looking for judicial toenail clippings?

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What happened to the man that jump out of the airplane with no parachute? He landed on a baby and both died almost instantly. The authorities were called and they took care of the situation flawlessly.

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A man commands his dog to sit. However, his dog is poorly trained, so does not.

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roses are red violets are blue the thing in the toilet reminds me of you :)

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what did one tree say to the other spruce up actually nothing because trees can't talk

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What did God say to Adam and Eve? Be fruitful

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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