Why did the little boy cry? Because his parents were shot in the face while he was forced to watch you insensitive jerk Now walk away ????

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Q:what do u call a dead baby tied to my feet? A:new shoes

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why are the inside of a black guys hands white? Because he has worked really hard for his whole life.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it thought it was a game. Why did the tree fall over? Because it thought it was a squirrel.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the hipster burn his mouth on a piece of pizza? Because the pizza was on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Where's the dick??? east

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the blond get fired from the M&M factory? Repeated absences and stealing.

thumb_up thumb_down +3,328

Q: What do you call a gray box without a joke in it? A: I don't know but you'd better think of something.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

there r three guys on a bridge. They r chinese,mexican,&american. They each have a bottle of beer. The chinese dude says I have enough of this in my country and throws it over the bridge. Then the mexican says I have enough of this in my country and throws it over the bridge. The american takes a drink of his and sets it down he looks at the mexican and says I have enough of these in my country and throws the mexican over the bridge.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

If you'd turn to page 43 you will find the homework. Have a good weekend!

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why was the boy crying? Because his dad comes home drunk every night and beats him.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What you do you call a gay man with no arms and legs? His name.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

The mailman saw little Johnny sitting on the side of the street with an old coffee can Mailman: What do you have in that can there? Johnny: dog shit Mailman: what the fuck

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Two muffins are sitting in an oven they say nothing to eachother because they are muffins and cannot speak if they did they would most likely be taken by the US government and studied and assumed to be alien life forms but anyway the muffins were taken out later and presumably eaten

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A bear walks into a bar and says to the barman "I'll have a pint of................ beer please." The barman says "why the big pause?"

thumb_up thumb_down -108

What do you call a fly without wings? A walk

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the boy fall off his bike? He was mauled by a bear!

thumb_up thumb_down -3

I can't stand 9/11 jokes Their just plane wrong!

thumb_up thumb_down -3

why didthe man's computer crash? the man has a serious porn addiction

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did the lights turn off? Because I turned them off.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Obama

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How do you stop a run-away bus? You sit down in the driver's seat and gently place your foot on the brake pedular and proceed to press it down. The brake pads, located in the calipers, will squeeze the brake discs and slow the bus eventually to stop at the crosswalk for the old lady accompanied by a young boy scout to cross the street and continue their wonderful lives.

thumb_up thumb_down -107

What are the differences between a black man and a park bench? One's a chair and ones a person.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops