why does Chuck Norris never get wet in the rain? Because he has a very serviceable umbrella

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Why couldn't Roger become an astronaut? Because Roger's a toaster.

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Did you know, I have a black man in my family tree? He works for a lawn service.

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How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Make hurtful and upsetting remarks about her person.

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identical jokes get different votes.

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Yo mama so stupid she liked this joke

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twenty three roaches walk into a bar. the bar is evacuated due to insects.

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Why did Jimmy throw butter out the window? Because he had down syndrome

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What's worse than a rainy day? Rape.

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What's worse than a mentally retarded boy screaming in your ear while your sitting in the waiting room at the doctors? 2 retarded boys screaming in your ears while your sitting in the waiting room at the doctors.

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How come Billy can only swim in circles? His right arm and right leg were amputated because he scraped his left arm.

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What do you say when you see your tv floating at night? Drop it, nigga!!

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hating his life and his job, the man leaves work early and while he is in the elavator he has thoughts about killing himself after returning to his apartment he turns on the TV and grabs his gun out of the drawer. sitting in a chair with a gun to his head he looks at the TV and realizes that his office building has just been hit by a 747 piloted by Al-Quida members. Suddenly the man realizes that maybe he has something to live for and decides not to kill himself.

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WHATS A CRUM AND LIVES IN A SLUM ?? A BOY CALLED KEVIN CRUMMY

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She Explored My Body, Licked, Sucked, Swallowed! When Satisfied, She Left! . . . . Damn Mosquito!!!

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I would have made you laugh, but that is not the point is it? Moral: What do you expect from the 4th most pointless invention?

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What worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into an apple and finding 2 worms

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I was thinking... Love conquers all right? Remember the epic crying video? Satan: Because... Some where deep inside... I still love you... God:BUUUUUUUUUUAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHAAAAUuuuaaaahhh... (Partially invisible effect hand of Satan pats God on the back) The universe is at peace with no opposing forces and I am Nerometal, not that asshole that claims to have one fist and is the leader of some sect, I am and will always be the original Moralman, my name simply happens to be Nero, and thats it, so I am not dissing the bible, why would I none of my business literally, but if love can be tha powerful eh?

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Why did Billy cross the road? Because Billy wasn't wearing his seatbelt.

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How do you tell identical twins apart? You can't. They look identical.

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why did the chicken cross the road? I dont know, you ask it.

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Wow, so it is true, you are here the entire fucking time aren't you bitch? You and all "six billion of your followers of the dark", listen asshead, one thing is people asking ME when I FUCKING SIGN BOOKS (which does not happen all that FUCKING OFTEN!) Why I lead a fucking cult of sorts. Another one is having your goons stab me in the FUCKING EYE, and going "Oh I am like so sorry, please let me be the gayest I can be" People assaulting me because I use the "Moralman identity" IT IS MINE! My real FUCKING NAME IS NERO! I DON'T GO AROUND STEALING NOBODY`S SHIT!

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How do you make a plummer angry? Kill his family

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Why did the black guy cross the road? His car was parked across the street.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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