How do you tell if a kitten is alive? Throw it at the wall.

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There was a man that invited his uncle, his uncle his uncle his uncle, his uncle and his uncle spidey to a party. He was really dissapointed when he realized that not only was his invitation full of typos, but that he invited Peter Parker twice and forgot to invite spiderman.

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Why did the bus drive off the cliff? It's driver happened to be a tomato.

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Why did the bus crash? What, you were expecting an answer? I was asking you

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Senior Sergeant Thomas the officer investigating your current rape and insect charges. Please open the door now.

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two peanuts were walking down the street. but one was unsalted...

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Why was the orphan crying? His parents were dead and his future was uncertain.

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Why didn't the parachute open? nevermind

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what did the grandma do after she was pushing up daisies? washed her hands because gardening is a dirty activity

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no

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How many babies can you fit on a ferris wheel? None, babies aren't allowed to ride

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What is black, white and red all over? Many things.

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My friend came in the barber's shop and asked me to cut his hair for him, i always have rude banter with him and i made a joke about his big bate nose. He acused me of calling him Jewish and threatened to sue me. This is how i found out that he was a white supremisist.

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what is the difference between a black person and a picnic bench? A picnic bench can support a family.

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A black man rode down the street on a bicycle.

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A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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Example of a pro gamer: A kid who gets all F's in gradeschool, dosent goto collage, gets fat, dies alone.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Most poems rhyme This one doesn't

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whats big, black and red all over? My mom when its that time of the month

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What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? A fossil.

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An iguana walks out of a bar

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Knock Knock! It's me! Hello? Hello! Why didn't they answer him? He was at the desert, with a disconnected phone. Also, my Captcha for this is "lose face" Good job solf mediya

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Why was the black kid at school? Because he wanted to receive an education.

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Yo mama's so ugly that the majority of people find her physically unattractive, but I hear her personality if great.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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