a man walks into a bar it hurt

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roses are red, violets are blue, {insert name here} is f**ked up, (s)he want to have sex with you

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What do you get when you cross a cow with an elephant? A deformed organism

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What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? The holocaust.....

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How do you keep someone in suspense? Refuse to let them view the resolultion of a gripping film.

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chuck norris will never have a heart attack because he has great cardiovascular health.

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An optimistic person says the glass is half full Pessimistic people say the glass is half empty Engineers say the glass is 2 times the size it needs to be.

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How do you make a gorilla stop chasing you? You shoot him.

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Why has Bugs Bunny got big ears? Because he's a rabbit

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What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? Names! *ba dum chzz*

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alert("The Game");

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Why are they the "living" daylights?

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Why could'nt the Jew drink milk? He was laptose intolerant.

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What did Santa say when he came to drop off your toys? Nothing. Santa doesn't exist.

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A thought for the day: Life is like a game of chess. In the constant struggle for power, control and safe positions it makes no difference whether one plays white or black. As long as everything is planned and one stays a few moves ahead, everything will work out. Just don't annoy the queen, or she may send some very irate knights to fork you or a bishop to flank you. [L]

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What has got 56 eyes, 1 leg and 3 arms ? I don't know but that's right behind you.

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What's the difference between a watermelon and a dead black person? There aren't 50 watermelons buried in my backyard.

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I forgot my joke about gamblers, but i bet you would have loved it!

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Why does Michael j. Fox make the best milkshakes? He uses the finest ingredients

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Why do Teenagers, mostly girls between the ages of 12-17 love Justin Bieber? Answer: Because he promotes himself worldwide and makes sure that girls know who he is thus creating a fan base that will be large enough to promote his career, which ensures him a safe financial future.

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Why are black people black? They're not. They're brown you idiot.

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What do you call a yelling, enraged Asian man? A fucking asshole.

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The answer: He is dead! (read it throughout so you cant go wrong) Question: So why cant a man in Italia marry his widows sister? Moral: Had yet to read one like this one...

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2 women were sitting quietly

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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