How long does it take to build a wall? it depends on how big he wall is

Why were the teacher's eyes crossed? She got kicked in the face by a mule.

I began as a dreamer, then I became a visionary, then I saw my dream come true, until it shattered us all. Do you believe that perhaps, there are people out there, trying to stop the world from reaching a better age?

why did the man beat his wife? why not?

What do you call a black man at the head of the U.S.? A mistake.

Why couldn't the cat drink it's milk? Because it didn't have a face.

Joe Paterno walks into a police station.

Curiosity killed the cat! No, the tire of a vehicle did.

a guy walks into the bedroom with a duck in his arms, his wife is in bed half nakid. he then coments out loud this is the pig im f**king. his wife says huny your holding a duck. then he with a serious look on his face says im sory i wasent talking to you

What's black and hanging on a tree in my backyard? Blackberries.

What do super heroes say after they beat the villain? Nothing, super heroes are not real.

whats worse than killing someone? finding out your mom is your dad

how do you make Will Smith cry? cut off his toes and fingers.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm a scizophrenic, Or at least thats what the voices tell me.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Chickens can't fly, what choice did it have? All it wanted to do was to get to the other side. That chicken knew what it wanted to do in life. What do you want to do with your life? Be chicken smart. Cross the road.

What do you call a retarded man? Mentally challenged.

When is your birthday? November 13 what year? every year

the man the invented it doesnt want it, the man that wants it doesnt need it, and the man the needs it doesnt know it....what is it? a coffin.

Steven Hawking walks into a bar. Steven Hawking is disabled from the neck down. I lied.

What do you get when you mix a panda,oklahoma,and a handle? The oklahoma panhandle.

Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because he's stupid.

Thank you Nero, this might not sound apropiate at all, but I am in love with you and have always been, and just want you to know that what I love the most about you is your spirit, your kindness, and sincerely, how you make me feel safe, I think its that you are dead honest to the point where you insult people asking for your opinion, I never had to question what you really mean or want, you just say it out loud, I love you, I realize it must be strange hearing that from someone you see as a daughter, I remember my father too well to consider you one, but I guess I always considered you a hot big brother of sorts. You are 32 huh? You always knew did you not? Why that secret of all things? Ill be arriving as soon as those trained killers of yours show by, and man are they fast and loyal, only you could inspire that love. I know your name is Nero, but I would not mind calling you Axel or at least knight, that's what you have always been for me.

KOOKABURRA

A man walks into a bakery and buys a doughnut. He then starts to drive home when he realised that he'd forgoten to eat the doughtnut and has to returne to do so.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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