Your mother is so fat that her doctor recommended that she exercise regularly and eat foods with nutritional value.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

A man made a sandwich.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What does a girl get from a dead MAN:)?? Nothing he is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What did the paper say to the pen? Nothing, they are inanimate objects!

thumb_up thumb_down -24

A man goes to the doctor's office. The doctor says, "I have some bad news, and some worse news. The bad news is you have alzheimer's. The worse news is you have cancer." The man breaks down in tears, realizing that his life as he knew it is over, and recognizing the horrible burden he is about to become on his family, both financially and emotionally.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the pig have a band-aid? Because he had a whole in his foot.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

The dinosaurs aren't really extinct. Just kidding.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why was six afraid of seven? Seven was black

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Joe Biden

thumb_up thumb_down -6

what happens when two small children jump into a pool full of pedophiles? They splash around and have fun

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: he was sucidal because his kids hate him and his wife cheated on him.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

why did the boy trip off a cliff? because he was clumsy.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

you better accept "balls in yo mouf"...

thumb_up thumb_down +14

how do you make sure someone is dead shoot them

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What object do bananas look like? Bananas.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What's the difference between a Jew and a Canoe Well one is a human, beating heart, and the other is a small boat you row in

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A man walks into a bar, looks to the right and sees a man one foot tall playing the piano, he sits at the bar and says to the bar tender,"I'm feeling kind of down" the bar tender gives him a bottle of very strong alcohol and later that night he goes home and hangs himself.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why was Carlos fired? Because he stole and smelled of weed.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

I'm not as random as you think i salad.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. "For Christ's sakes, Grandma, put your pants back on!"

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Roses are red, violets are blue, grass is green, sky is blue, dirt is brown, fire is orange, water is transparent, powder is white

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Theodore was a small kid that lived down the street. Little did he know, that Kaiwen the Poor Pedo was his next door neighbour. So he was walking one day down the street. He saw Kaiwen dead. Because he ate too much sugar. So Theodore called the police. But his phone broke suddenly. Theodore realized that his brother had filled it with broken eggshells. He was sad. He took out a few golf balls and stuffed them in his mouth. But he couldnt forget taht a fellow neighbour had died. He buried the body beneath the Carpet of Ol' Justin's House. He wasnt happy. His dad confiscated his laptop. And the golf balls

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What's the difference between a porsche and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a porsche in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why didnt sally throw out her lunch? Her mom had a miscarriage, she was never born.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops