Why is it easy to steal candy from a baby? Because the baby is smaller, weaker and would not pose any threat.

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What's worse than carrying a heavy suitcase? Poisoning children.

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What time is it when an elephant steps on your watch? Time to go to the hospital and get treated for a shattered wrist.

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How do Helen keller's parents punish her? They sternly reprimand her for her misdeeds.

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What has two legs but can't walk A paraplegic

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A man with short term memory loss loses his memory every day. His last memory before his accident is the day he escaped this hostpital and murdered a family of five. He continues to do this every day and he is known in Mexico as cincochico.

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Why was Martin Luther King assassinated? Because he had a mustache.

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how do you drown a blonde? strategically place a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of a swimming pool (or just a regular sticker because, quite honestly, they won't be able to tell the difference as the water fills their lungs)

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Cause your mom has cancer

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whats worse than ur granny dying? uhhh...actually theres nothing is worse

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What do a lamp and a elephant have in common? Big ears, except for the lamp, it doesn't have ears.

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Q)whats pink and fluffy A)pink fluff

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What did the young girl with leukemia say to a stranger? I am afraid

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Xzibit

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why was six afraid of seven? it wasn't. numbers dont have feelings.

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why couldnt the mexican jump the fence? He broke his leg.

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What do you call a giraffe driving a car?.. Your Imagination

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Want to hear a funny joke? Not really.

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What do you call a man with no arms and legs? An amputee

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You're on fire.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Somebody pushed it.

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why was the girl unhappy? because she was stapled to a shark.

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What is a terrible tragedy and wears ice skates? Holocaust; The musical on ice

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what is green, blue with spots all over? A frog with chicken pox

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops