Why was John the octopus depressed? Because his real name was Steve, and he couldn't communicate this to anyone since he lacked the higher brain functions and vocal chords required to do so.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm Scizophrenic And so am I.

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why did the car crash? Because the driver was just a box of raisen Brand

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What did the Chinese guy say to the black guy? Nothing, the black guy dosen't speak chinese.

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What's green, fuzzy, and can kill you if it fell from a tree? A pool table.

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What did hitler said to the chinese? Thank you for continuing my legacy.

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A chemist and his buddy walk into a bar. The chemist, trying to sound smart, says, "I would like a glass of H20." The buddy, being a normal person who actually cares if he looks like an idiot, asks for plain water.

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What do you get when you cross Bambi and a ghost? Bamboo

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A lion walks in to a bar, and murders everyone inside. This is why animals are not aloud in bars.

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What do you say if you see a monkey driving a car? Nothing , you run away because primates are incapable to have motor skill and will probably crash within the next 50 feet

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Why couldn't sally go on the swing? Because she has no arms. Knock knock Who's there Sally

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Why did the man punch his wife? Because he was angry

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Friend: Do you want to go to the bar or see a movie first? Me: Yes.

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What came first? The chicken or the egg? The egg, because breakfast comes before dinner.

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Q: How many babies does it take to paint a wall? A:I don't know i was asking you P.S. leave your answer in the comments below :D

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What did the calculator screen say? Cos0=1

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What is worse than getting a cold ? Finding a dead baby in your mailbox

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what did the 3 hispanic men say to the fat guy? you're in our seats

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Everyone is equal. It doesn't matter if you're black, red, yellow, brown, or normal.

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I sas Ratzinger a sandwich when someone came up to me and said "sharing is caring" So I gave him a grenade He asked "where's the pin" I said " I pulled it for you" This is not an anti joke

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They brutally whipped and tortured her.

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Penis

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was making a suicide attempt.

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What's the difference between a blonde and a brunette? The pigmentation of their hair follicles.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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