How many women does it take to arrange my new Ethan Allen furniture? Just one, I was told it was divorce present. She took it with her.

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how do i know if my husband is cheating? beat him until he tells you

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Q: A Blonde and a Brunette fall of a building which one hits the ground first? A: The Brunette because she ways 200 pounds and the Blonde weighs 100.

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no pen = no studying no studying = bad grades bad grades = no job no job = no money no money = no food no food = death DON'T LOSE YOUR PEN

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What did the black man do for his science project Which is better homemade or colonel sanders?

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Why cant Michael J Fox draw a perfect circle? because he is dying of parkinson's disease.

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What did the clown say when he was denied health insurance? Nothing, he died of his pre-existing heart condition.

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Day turn night. Dreaming is now true . Turn on your flashlight, slenderman is behind you.

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What has 142 teeth and can hold back the hulk? My zipper.

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what did one ocean say to the other ocean? Nothing, They just waved.

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If a tree falls in a neigheorohood lots of people hear it.

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What's the best part of any family reunion? Sodomy.

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How long did the Hundred Years' War last? 116 years.

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What's invisble and smells like bananas? My mailbox.

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How do you get your little brother to stop kicking you? Stick his feet in the garbage disposal.

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Did the Chicken cross the road? No the road moved the chicken across.

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What's eighteen inches long, stiff, and makes women scream at night? A twelve inch long penis that is erect, thus adding approximately one half of its flaccid size, and involved in the act of fornication with the female partner of the man whose penis I am describing. (Of course, it is ignorant and juvenile to assume that the man in question is heterosexual. He may be a homosexual, which is perfectly acceptable in these liberal times we live in, or he may in fact be single and not inclined towards a sexual preference of any kind. This is understandable due to the myriad complications of long-term relationships, a result of the infinite differences between the masculine and feminine psyches.)

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What do you think when you see an asian woman behind the wheel of a car? She's very attractive.

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Want to hear a joke? Women's rights.

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What worse than a baby nailed to a tree? One baby nailed to ten trees.

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What did Sally get on her 18th birthday? Herpes

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A: How do you make a fire with two sticks? B: Ask your mother, we did it last night.

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who can beat up superman doomsday, duh, he killed him

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What did the dogs say to Michael Vick? Arf Arf Arf, woof woof woof

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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