Q: What do you call a black person flying a plane? A: A pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Roses are red Violets are red I murdered the gardener

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Your mom is so fat, she went to the hospital, and they intern, turned her exess fat into 12 babies.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

We was all sat down at the table ready to eat then Gary must've said something to Lucy because she just burst into tears and left the table.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

a boy meets a girl the rest is censored

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What did the black man say to the Mexican? What a fine day it is!

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What do you call a man with no arms and half an eye? Larry -Jack Sparrow

thumb_up thumb_down -15

yomamas so fat it made Ben kanobi say thats no moon thats yo mama!

thumb_up thumb_down +20

When life gives you lemons.............. take them free stuff is awesome.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A socialist, a Muslim, and an illegal immigrant walk into a bar. The bartender says, "What can I get for you Mr.President

thumb_up thumb_down -10

There once was a man named Joe. Joe had AIDS, and killed all his friends and family The End, now go back to bed, pussy

thumb_up thumb_down +12

How did Nissan show its new car in there commircals By driving very fast and hitting fat kids $

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Is Yered a dumbass? YA

thumb_up thumb_down -12

holly shit!!!! when did i get on the internet !?

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What is the difference between a duck? A motorcycle because vests don't have sleeves.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Yo mama so short she often has to ask you to retrieve items from the top shelf of her cabinet.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Two Chav's jump off a cliff who wins? Neither, the affects of gravity are equal despite the weight of said object.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Blarg, with ritalin everything tastes like cardboard, but on the bright side I can taste, lucky me I am so handsome the ones that attacked us did not want to ruin "my pretty face", so I just got a few cuts before I broke his, they never see a steel fist arriving you know... Listen, you are wrong, you gotta think less about me, and much more about yourself, you feel like you should worry more about me emotionally, but worry about your feelings more despite that because I can more or less hear your body saying "please take care of me", I mean I can more or less hear the urges and needs of women, thats why I am so good around them, I dont put them in a trance "vampire style" i just make them feel safe around me because it is safe around me, I am safe at all times because I am who I am. Listen, worry about your needs, turn of all mental alarms, I can sense (I dont know how, Richard Bandler put that into me) that you are in lack of sleep, food and sleep (I can sense it now, you havent slept well since you thought I was dead, it makes logical sense, it always does, its not magic, its the human potential unleashed) So take care of yourself, turn of your body`s needs one by one, shower, eat, drink (eat something good), and if you are at the couch, go get a pillow and lie down, this is about you, because I cant feel well if those I love and care about dont feel well okay? Please allow me to sleep easily and try getting some sleep yourself even if my guys are 15 minutes away. Let me know that you feel better.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How do you make a baby stop screaming? Pour acid down its throat.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

So mind telling me why you wont call me? And why, you know... Are you avoiding this condition of yours?

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did the Homeless man get for Christmas? A dollar

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why did the black man cross the road? To rape the girl on the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Roses are red, violets are blue, i suck a poetry now show me your tits!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Your mother is of a healthy weight and a pleasure to be around.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops