A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear? The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf."

One day, a mother was speaking with her daughters. "Mommy," the first one said, "Why did you name me Daisy?" "Because when we brought you home, a daisy petal fell on your head." "Mommy," the second daughter said, "Why did you name me Rose?" ""Because when we brought you home, a rose petal fell on your head." "MMMBWWAAAAGGGH!" the last daughter cried. She was born with severe special needs and is incapable of coherent speech.

What's the best thing about having sex with twenty six year olds? There's twenty of them.

What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut.

Stare at the person nearest to you and say "sprinkles" with the straightest face possible.

So there's this cup that I own... I use it to aid in the drinking of my hot or cold beverages.

Roses are red Violets are blue I was diagnosed as criminally insane Wanna be my friend?

Roses are red violets are blue, he is for me and not for you, he's too ugly you can have him

What did Sherlock Holmes say when he saw a very pretty lady? Hello

I'm called the! no i wish am I left

What's Funny About A Black Man Being Shot? Nothing, That Man Was My Friend.

I like my coffee how I like my women Without a penis

how do you kill a jew? inject him/her with gratuitous amounts of cyanide until they cease to have brain function and a pulse.

Whats brown,looks like a.dike,and is a whore. Marcella

How do you annoy a farmer? Shoot his wife.

What happen to the guy who didn't breathe A. He died

Do you know any anti-jokes. Yeah, I do. It's a bit pointless though.

All work and no play makes Johnny successful in his field of interest.

Why did it take so long for the baby's to paint my wall? I didn't throw them hard enough.

What's worse than being a midget Being a midget with no legs

Ask me if I'm an orange. Are you an orange? No.

Patient: "Doctor I think I might be a homosexual." Doctor: "How can you tell?" Patient: "RAAIIINNBOOOOWW!!!"

How do you stop a lawn mower? You throw a baby under it.

Q. why did the black man cross the road? A. Cause there is no law saying he cant

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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