How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

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Q; What's something that's long and girls like to suck? A: A popsicle

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Why Did The Horse Cross The Road? He Couldn't Because He Was Still-born

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was shot.

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What do you call a man with a spade in his head? An ambulance.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?? Because it Died

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So there's A blonde, a brunette and a redhead at a lake. they all swim across and have a picnic at the other end.

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A guy walks into a bar with a sad and depressed look on his face. the bartender says why the long face. The depressed guys think "how bad of eye sight he has my face is the average diameter of about 20 cm long"

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guess what? WHAT? Idk.

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What did Helen Keller say when she fell into a well? Nothing. She died upon impact and her family mourned her death for years.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? A worm in your apple.

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A man and a dog were sitting on a hill, the dog says to the man "Nice weather we are having today isn't it?" The man then goes insane because dogs can't talk, then later commits suicide from depression caused by his wife leaving him.

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How many jews can you fit in a car? As many as the compacity of the car can hold and how big the jews are

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If I told you I was straight I'd be lying

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In Soviet Russia You drive car, because a car driving you would be screwed up

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How did the guy in a wheelchair get up 7 flights of stairs? He didn't.

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three lesbians on a plane they were all responsible and had sex when they got home and not on the plane

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Why can't you look at the sun? Because it's 2.00 AM

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Why do blondes where knickers? to keep their ankles warm

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What happened to the dog that ate to much? It became obese.

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What did the talking muffin say to the other talking muffin? Ah! A talking muffin!

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A chicken and a triceratops walk into a bar. They both immediately recognize each other and start trading anti-jokes, of which no one else in the bar understood, for they are animals, and animals cannot speak. Which brings up the question of how the triceratops and the chicken would communicate in any way that was conversely accurate to how humans would make jokes. Also adding in the fact that they are both from different eras of time, and the people wonder why a triceratops is walking around when they are in fact extinct. Turns out, the triceratops was an animatronic that gained sentience and ran off the set of Jurassic Park IV, a movie production that was not yet announced, as Steven Spielberg was still working on other movies that were more important at the time. The chicken flew in here because he heard the bar was close-by to where he worked, so he decided to drop by after a long Friday. The bartender finally walks up and asks the triceratops, "What would you like?" The triceratops then went on a rampage and killed everyone inside because he was an alcoholic and lost his family because of it, since his ex-wife would be worked to the bone trying to raise his 2 children and adopted platypus son David. He lost everything in the divorce. Why was he in a bar then? I don't know, I can't talk to dinosaurs. The chicken then befriended the triceratops, as the chicken was a secret anarchist who sought to bring down all the stores on the street, as his mother was killed there while trying to cross the street. She fell into a manhole. The chicken and the triceratops then traded usernames on League of Legends then played out that Friday teaming up and taking down Evil. How do they play League if they're animals? Because this whole story is made up and you wasted a good 2-3 minutes trying to read this.

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the Holocaust. Because anything involving the Holocaust is automatically an anti joke. the Holocaust wasn't funny.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops