Shakespeare walks into a bar, Having just seen someone that has been dead for over 400 years, the young man in the corner quits his drug addiction; it was clearly messing with his brain.

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Knock knock Who's There? Woo? Woo who? Stop celebrating and let me in.

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Why are objects in your mirror closer than they appear? Because they are closer than they appear.

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How do you make a dentist cry? Kill all his family.

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what did the dog say to the mailman? "hey thanks for the mail" the mailman replies "your welcome"

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What do you get when you cross something with another thing that one would normally not cross with the aforementioned noun? A better love story than Twilight.

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Your mom is so fat that she saw a school bus full of white children and , thought "I can hardly even remember a time when my body used to be slim." She now keeps track of her diet and exercises regularly,the result of this has been a weight loss of over 95 pounds.

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What's 9+10? 19

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Well, its Eliza again, sorry to bother you Nero, I always thought you where good looking but I know that when it comes to you its not about the looks, you are far more than meets the eye. Neo-Nero was the guy we met at a certain meeting, the arrogant guy with the big forehead whose arms where shaking remember? I wont reveal more for his sake, he did not mean bad, he was just angry like the rest of us and felt responsible, again like many of us. So when can we meet you? I assume you wont be arriving soon, but Id really apreciate seeing you again, and considering neither I nor my parents (I asked them) have the money to come visit you, id appreciate a loan or something.

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Not sure, its just a really rare combination, people tell me stuff like "oh they are really bright brown" like hell they are, I mean sorry but the hell they are. I prefer it the way you say it, they are red, really really red, and you do not say it as if I had something to be ashamed off.

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What's worse than 50 dead babies stapled to trees? 47 dead babies stapled to trees (it's better if it's a nice, round number.)

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How many times can the Frenchman cheat on his wife? I don't know.

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Person 1- Ask me if I am a tree Person 2- Ok, are you a tree? Person 1- Nope

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Why "Is Bart Simpson Yellow Its The Only Crayon The Illustrator had

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World Of Warcraft

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Once Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked a guy so hard that he got a large bruise.

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A: go away. B: No i won't A: Shutup B: Yes i will not go away A: again, shutup B: I left A: Thank you B: Your welcom A: Thank you for saying your welcome B: Thank you for saying thank you that i'm welcome A: Thank you for saying thank you for saying that I thank you that you're welcome.

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A: Is this the Krusty Krab? B: No, this is Pizza Hut. Please stop prank calling us.

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Why did the old lady have a heart attack? She got raped by a giraffe.

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Violence is never the answer, its the question... The answer is YES!

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A guy at a baseball game....

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What's the worst place to land when parachuting off an airplane? A. In the middle of an ocean B. In a war zone C. Inside an active volcano D. In a justin beiber concert

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What do you get when you cross a black guy and a keyboard? A black guy punctured by a keyboard

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glasses, jacket, shirt They call me glasses, jacket, shirt man. I never leave the house...without my brodies. hehehe hahaha hohoho!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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