an islamic man with a strange bag walk into thr airport. he is probably heading toward his flight like any other person.

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What did the penguin say to the tiger? I'm in the wrong country.

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roses are red violets are blue i forgot what i was gonna say my dad is an engineer

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A man is walking down the street when he stumbles upon a school, every school in the area had an American flag outside it, so he sees the flag and atop this flag a man is sitting and he doesn’t look comfortable. Next to the flag pole is a chair with a flag attached to it and the wind is as strong low down. So he looks at the man and says "Sir I think you may be using those wrong." The man on the flagpole says "why?" So he says well this chair is flat and made for sitting and this flag pole has a draw string for the flag. The man atop the flag pole says "I'm sure good will come of this…..im sure." the man says "What good could possibly come of this!" and the man on top of the flag pole looks at him and says "Later……………..you can tell this story to your friends and disappoint them when they find out theirs no punchline."

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A white guy drives to Home Depot in order to get supplies for remodeling his kitchen. He notices a few Mexicans standing around outside. He decides to go to to Lowe's instead.

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What did the ocean say to the beach? Nothing. The ocean is inanimate and therefore incapable of speech.

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Man walks into an apple store. Shortly after he leaves with a fully charged phone.

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A man walked into a bar, he was meeting his friends but was half an hour early, so he went down the road and got a burger. He had recently began dieting to maintain a healthy weight, but had trouble with self control. 30 years later he would gamble away his family's life savings and then go onto live a long and unfulfilled life.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A pizza is a tasteful meal and a Jew is a person of Israeli decent.

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how do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poker face

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? Nothing, we eat pizza and we respect Jews.

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Q. What's the difference between a Mcdonalds employee and a gynecologist? A. They have different jobs.

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What do your friends and a tree have in common? They both die if you set them on fire.

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Roses are red but violets arent blue!!!!!

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What's big, black and long? The line in KFC

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Its easy they said, just type your text below they said, so I did

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Q: Why Cant The T-Rex Clap? A: No, Its Not Because His arms are to short, Its because he's Dead You Idiot...

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? Because it was a refrigerator. Why did the little girl die? Because she was hit by two monkeys and a refrigerator.

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Lizzy doesnt shave or shower. She just went to the bathroom in the middle of the school hallway

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A man dreamt that he was eating a marshmallow. He ate his dog.

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Me, myself, and I walked into a bar. We didn't say anything to each other because I'm not schetsophrenic.

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I have a phone, Don't know where it's at, Forever Alone FAPFAPFAP

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Why cant Stevie Wonder and Ray Charles read? Because they are blind you racist.

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Whats even funnier than watching two black guys with guns attempting to shoot people Just about everything

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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