I've got the whole world! In my hands! I've got the whole world! In my hands! I've got the whole world! In my hands! Now you must listen to all of my demands or I will crush you all.

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From SpongeBob SquarePants "Hey Patrick, wanna know what's funnier than 24??" - SpongeBob "What?" - Patrick " 25!!!!" - SpongeBob There are a lot of things that are funnier than 24 though.

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Hum... I am actually a redhead... Which is so strange saying to anyone including myself, I dye it like constantly.

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What do you call a dog with no legs? A dog with no legs

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What's the difference between babies and butter? You can't pitchfork butter.

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How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? 17

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Roses are black, violets are black. I'm blind.

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Why did the girl scream in terror? Because her parents are being murdered.

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What happened when the wife refused to make her husband a sandwich? Since he was paralyzed from the neck down, he starved to death.

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Q: How do you solve a problem like Maria. A: You kill her. You kill Maria.

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What is laying in the corner of the living room of an abandoned house and keeps getting smaller over the years? A decaying baby left there by a crack-head.

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What's black and white and read all over? Michael Jackson. I spelled "red" wrong.

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How do you keep an extraordinary magician from performing his show? Replace his shampoo with battery acid

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What do you call a black woman that flys a plane? - a pilot...

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mom.what is red and green? dad. what? mom. your mama dad. you Mack me cry mom gooooooooooooooooood girl. mom have you seen gmom mom.no dad. your mom killed her girl. rely mom. yes girl.thanks she suck dick for money and now i have to get a new bed so thanks mom.ya dad. so you want to be dead mom and girl. or u want to be dead dad. help me plz nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo mom.yes girl yes

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Who broke into the village's homes and smashed all of the vases? Link did.

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Q: What's the difference between a trampoline and a bag of dead babies? A: I take off my shoes when I jump on a trampoline.

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i found waldo.

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Whats worse than your house on fire? an orphanage catching on fire. Whats wosre than an orphanage catching on fire? A bunny farm catching on fire.

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Why can't Ray Charles read? Because he's black.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

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A black woman and a white woman are in a bar. They don't talk to each other though because they don't know each other. THE END.

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Why did Tommy cry? His tear glands emptied out of his eyes

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Three nudists, a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead walk into a bar. No one finds it particuarly odd because the three are conscientious and wear appropriate clothing in public places.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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