how did the blonde get a concussion? she didnt see the pole in front of her.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Last night I had consensual sex with my long term girlfriend in the missionary position. It lasted approximately 4 minutes before I ejaculated into the durex extra safe condom.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Kumquats Daffodils Alka-Seltzer Serendipity Dewey Decimal System Buccaneer Avuncular Pantaloons Weasels Alligator Chewbacca Sasquatch

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Jimmy went to a bar, to see a stand up comedian, he heard the standup comedian tell a funny joke, so after the show, he went home and told his wife the joke and after that he said, i made that up, im funny arent i, the wife seemed shifty, so she googled the joke and found the stand up comedians joke, giggled and then proceeded to continue back angrily to Jimmy, because he just did the wrong thing, she slapped Jimmy in the face, divorced Jimmy and killed his 3 children because Jimmy plagurised, and plagurism is illegal, and now Jimmy has no children, and a red mark on his cheek and knows he did the wrong thing don't smoke kids

thumb_up thumb_down +37

69

thumb_up thumb_down -25

So, a man walks into a bar. His alcoholic habits are slowly tearing apart his marriage.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Whats the difference between a cat and a dog? Nothing a cat and a dog is an extremely different species.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Rebecca Black walks into a bar. The bartender refuses to serve her because she is not yet 21.

thumb_up thumb_down

what do you call a black man at a school. coach.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Roses are red Violets are blue You're adopted and Santa Claus isn't real

thumb_up thumb_down +11

You wanna hear a touching story? Once a pon a time you died. The end. (all anti jokes posted by me will be adressed with -blarg)

thumb_up thumb_down -37

How do you wake up Lady Gaga? "Poker Face"

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Why did Jerald heat up pizza? Because he was hungry.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the man commit suicide? Because all meaning in his life were gone.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why do beavers have flat tails? They don't know but their relatives certainly get upset

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why do blacks run away from whites? Because god told all people to never go to the light.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How do you get a firetruck to swerve uncontrollably? Shoot the driver with a 12 gauge.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

why did the boy fall off his bike? someone threw a fridge at him

thumb_up thumb_down -19

If life gives you lemons, You have a problem and you might need medicine.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What is funnier then 25 9/11

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A man walks into a bar. Nothing happens that's worth explaining.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

An Indian child is born with three arms. After being ridiculed his whole life he kills himself at age 19.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

catastrophic anthropogenic global warming

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What is another way to call a procrastinator? Avery annoyed and bored child who does not want to do her homework and is looking up many different anti-jokes for a laugh. You know who you are...

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops