Q: What did the ant say to the bush? A: Ernest Borgnine

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Repeat after me... I'matote ulbu twad Now say that all together Im a total butt wad

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A sheep croses the road It gets hit by a car.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

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Q: How do you keep an idiot in suspense? A:

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Q: what happed to the squirrel that lost his nuts? A: it died

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What did the child who tried to hang himself, but wasn't heavy enough to achieve breaking his neck do? Died slowly.

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You're so stupid, you had to take part in special classes in school, and despite this specific attention to your educational development, you've made no major progress.

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Why did the man rape the woman? He had a lapse in judgement.

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Why don't blind people skydive? They do.

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What happened at the 21 year old's birthday? She tried alcohol for the first time. She partied. She danced, She's dead. Open case.

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Knock Knock! Who's There? Mike Mike who? Mike who you just called and told to come over Oh ok, come in

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What did the blind, deaf and dumb boy get for Christmas? Cancer

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Whats small yellow and cant swim? A short bus full of autistic children.

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what do you call a man who makes fun of womens rights? Single

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Directions- I would be lost without you. Thank you for always being there for me.

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wanna hear a dirty joke? ...trashcan

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How may Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? To get to the other side!

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Two black guys are in an elevator, one guy gets off at the sixth floor, and the other on the eighth. And thats it.

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What do you call a boy with no arms and legs? Simply a pillow

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Why did it rain happiness? The people who wrote the jokes above and below this one exploded.

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What do kittens and napkins have in common? You can sneeze into both of them except the kitten doesn't like it

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A: Knock knock B: Who's there? A: A serial killer B: I don't feel comfortable opening the door

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Why did the man not want to be a tree? Because he didn't want to.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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