What do you call a Fat man? You call him by His name because that's the polite thing to do.

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How did Darth Vader make the little black boy's day? "I am your father"*heavy breath, heavy breath*

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A apple a day is good for your overall health and you should schedule check ups with your doctor to maintain good health and avoid seeing him everyday.

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Justin Littleton getting laid.

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What do you call a deaf person whom is behind the wheel of a car about to run off a cliff? ....

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how many jews does it take to change a lightbulb? none, they hire mexicans to do it

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No one walks into a bar The bar is slowly losing business and will soon be forclosed upon and will also lose his home as a result causing his family and himself to be homeless and slowly suffer on the streets

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Two strangers are sitting at a bar having a drink. One is a young, fat, red-headed guy named Fred. The other is an elderly grey-haired man. After a while, Fred turns to the old man and awkwardly asks: "Excuse me sir would ya' mind givin me some advice? There's this girl who has sat next to me on the bus every morning for the past three months. She's the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. She always smiles and winks at me. I wannna ask her on a date but every time I go to do it I freeze. I just don't know what to say. I'm sorry to bother you, but I'm falling for this girl and I don't know what in the world to do. Any tips?" The old man continues to sit quietly, slowly sipping his drink. After a while the old man looks at Fred. "Hmmm" says the old man, as he thinks over Fred's question. "What is your name son?" He asks Fred. "It's Fred sir," replies Fred. "Hmmm," the old man says again as he continues to think over Fred's question. The old man then stands up, takes out a gun, and shoots Fred in the face. Fred never saw it coming.

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A guy walked up to me and said "I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam, I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam." I promptly informed the authorities. He was transported to a mental institution and I later learned that he swallowed his own tongue and died. Nobody attended his funeral.

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-how many potatoes are in a sack -5

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What time is it in China right now? I have no idea, it would depend on when you are reading this. Perhaps you should look at a world clock, watch, or some other sort of time-telling device rather than humorous website. Its purpose is not to tell time. However, there are many other places for this. Good luck surfing the web, friend. I have aided you the best that I can. I only hope that you will find what you are looking for.

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What's the similarity between a dog and a car? They're both made out of atoms.

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Why couldn't the teenage pirate get into the movie? Because he lacked the required money for the ticket.

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Why do black people like watermelon? Because it good you racist bastard!

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How do you kill a jew? In a variety of destructive manners that are illegal and I would hope you would decide against.

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The cast of the 'Jersey Shore' is the worst thing to happen to the Jersey shore

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Roses are yellow, Violets are purple, im not color blind you just cant read.

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why did the clown fall of the swing? he got shot in the head

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What's the difference between and black dick and a white dick? To get to the other side

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i love weed i fuc king really do i fuc king love smoking weed with you.And i love a fat spliff and i love a fat bong why cant we all just sing along!!!

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Yo Momma is so fat that she is heavier than most other women her age

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Hey, I just met you And this is crazy I have alzheimer's Bacon

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What is the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is an Italian food that is an American favorite, and the other is a follower of Judaism.

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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