Give a man a match, and he'll be warm for a minute, but if you set him on fire, he'll die

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Q: How many ghetto people does it take to carry a fat gorilla? A: 14

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A married couple is arguing over the temperature in their house. The wife wants it at 62 degrees and the husband wants it at 74. What should they do? Nothing while they are arguing their daughter decides to put it at 32 and freeze them to death

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What's red, black, and green all over? A dead black bear. Just no green.

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why did the kid get chemotherapy? because he had cancer

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What do a spoon and a platypus have in common? Nothing.

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How come fat people drive cars? It takes to long to ride a bike to McDonalds

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How often does a black women poop? Every nine months.

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What's the diffrents beetween a carrot and a dead baby? One I like to eat in my soup, the other one s a carrot.

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What happened to the man who jumped off a plane while riding a donkey? He died.

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You mamma so fat, she should consider going on a diet.

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What did the man say to his wife before they went to bed? Goodnight.

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The white guy did it!

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Did you hear about the black guy who went to college? No? Well, he graduated in 4 years with a degree in chemical engineering due to his diligence and good work ethic. He now has a well paying job that allows him to support his wife and two kids and to pay the mortgage on their large home.

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What did the retarded guy say to the other retaarded guy? A. Your retarded

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What did the little boy ask for for Christmas? A new brain, as he has a malignant tumor, he died.

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whats worse than god meaner than the devil. the poor have it the rich need it nothing

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You know what's funny? A bucket full of dead babies. Do you know what's funnier? The last one is still alive and crying.

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A blond, a brunnet and a read head all fall off a cliif, wich one did not die They all died you idiots

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Wats rong with yo leg.....

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Q:Whats worse than 100 babies in 1 dumpster? A:1 dead baby is 100 dumpsters.

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A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

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How many jews does it take to stop hitler. no one knows they didn't

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Q:how many ping-pong balls do you need te get a crocodile off of a slide ? A:none, because an engine doesn't have doors

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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