obama

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What does a dishwasher and the holocaust have in common? Not much.

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Your mom is so fat because she eats too much and is most likely incapable of controlling when to stop.

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what did the obese kid get for chistmas? an athsma attack ,which led to death.

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What does a person that is fasting get for Christmas? Food.

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You.

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What is the sun's favorite day of the week? The sun is a mass of incadescent gas and cannot feel emotions; therefore, it cannot have a favorite day of the week.

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what did the horse say to the bartender? why the short face?

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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because pterodactyls along with all other dinosaurs have been extinct for millions of years.

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A blonde girl walks into a screen door. She is blind.

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Jason's Wife said to him I love you before I left to head to work, Jason then went back inside to see no one was there and he remembered his wife died in 2009.

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What in the world is that thing in her butt!!!

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How do you kill a Jewish person? Like any other person, they are like any other person of any race and religion.

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Knock knock. Who's there?

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What did the Wife say to her husband about his Erectile Dysfunction? - Im sorry I dont know how to finish a joke based on this private a matter.

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Hellen Keller

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It has been this way for two days now. Whenever he looks over his shoulder and past his wing, he can see them there. Following him. The men with the red eyes. He doesn't know what they want and doesn't want to find out. He crosses that road as he has crossed so many others recently, squawking and shuffling along on his stubby legs, darting through traffic in a risky effort to shake them off of his tailfeathers. He gets to the other side and ascends the curb, walking beak-first into a pair of legs hidden beneath a grey robe. He looks up and sees a pair of eyes like burning coals staring down at him from within the darkness of a hood. He tries to run, but it is too late. He has been taken. His wings and fingers are forfeit.

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Have you heard about the angry chef? He beat his children

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What did the woman say when her boyfriend asked her to marry him? Idk my bff jill.

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What did God say to the snake when the Snake decided to ignore God and just give Eve the apples? Snake what are you doing? Answer me, SNAKE! SNAAAAAAAAAAAAAKE! *DUN DUN DURUDUN! DU DU DUN! *gunshot* Moral: I just hate thumbs ups, and the comments where I omit this receives those horrible green thumbs instead of them sexy red ones, so there goes.

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Wife: Where were you all night. Husband: Cheating on you with your sister

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Say you are caught in a net with 10 other people in said net at a construction site. A pair of scissors are right next to you and everyone said to use the scissors. But instead of using the scissors, you use your teeth in risk of a broken tooth.

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A boy called Justin bieber fell down a hole and died

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree It was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree He was stapled to the first monkey Why did the refridgerator fall out of the tree? its a refridgerator Why did the third monkey jump out of the tree It thought it was a game

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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