roses are red voilets are red bushes are red trees are red HOLY SHIT MY GARDENS ON FIRE!!!!!!

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Q.What happens when you win a trophy? A. You don't, there is always someone better than you.

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What do you say when you take a nasty shit in you friends bathroom? There's some nasty shit in there.

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Q: What were little Jonathon's grandmas last words before dying of Alzheimer's? A: Who are you?

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Write your own pointless joke on http://pointless-jokes.tk

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A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

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An Asian walks into a bar. He has a few drinks, but makes sure not to have to many. He then drives home safely, and enjoys a good nights rest.

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Why are you angry dude? I can't see my forehead

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An underage man walks into a bar. He then was shot and kicked out of the bar. An overage person found the body. What age is he? Normal Age

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What's worse than being raped by a giant scorpion? Eating mud

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Whats the difference between a black guy and a bench? Ones a person and the others a bench.

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Q: What's better than the Call Me Maybe video? A: A shot-for-shot parody of it featuring a GIMP! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rFxnAITCv5o

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What do you do when life gives you lemons? Make some fucking lemonade.

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What did the jerk say to the Mexican? You are a Mexican

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She is both blind and deaf, and doing so would put others in danger.

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Why do fancy unicorns wear jackets? Because they're fancy.

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A black man walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey Nick!" Because he knows him and is not racist.

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How do you kill a diabetic? Take away their insuline

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What's worse than a baby dying of AIDS? It depends upon one's frame of reference. A family living in the US might consider the death of a baby by AIDS a horrible act by the gods. But to a similar family in sub-Saharan Africa, this might be a regular, albeit tragic occurrence.

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When life gives you limes, say hey! wait a second ,aren't these meant to be lemons? then kill yourself

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GUYS! I GOT AN A IN MY PIANO EXAM!!!!!

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What happens when you put a baby, a dog and a cat in the same bag They will all most likely suffocate if left in the bag too long

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A duck walks in wal-mart and buys stuff. The cashier ask how hes going to pay and the duck said just put it on my bill.

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WWII veteran screamed! "You damn yellow monkey" "But sir... ...my fur is brown!" Replied the monkey.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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