What's worse then getting kicked in the face by Chuck Norris? A: Nothing

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why couldn't the little boy sleep? he was being tortured.

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Why do giraffes have long necks? To connect their bodies to their heads.

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What's the difference between dead babies and punching bag? No one makes jokes about punching bags.

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A boy orders a sandwich at a restaurant. He then questions the cashier about it. Boy: Excuse me, Why is my sandwich so bad? Cashier: Sorry, none of our women cooks were in today.

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A Man Walks into a Bar with a Dog. He is blind, and is promptly guided to his seat by other patrons.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Luke Futie

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Why was Jimmy upset? There is a frog taped to his face.

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What did the facial stylist charge Jack Sparrow to get his ears pierced? A buc-an-ear!

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What has four legs and one arm? An attack dog in a daycare.

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Why did the window break? I threw a pig out it.

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Why did the Jewish business man cross the road? A: to go to his reasonable paying job at a business.

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What is white and black and red all over.

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roses are red i have a phone nobody texts me forever alonee lol

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How can you tell a blonde a brunette and a red head apart? Ask them if that is their natural hair color.

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Have you heard the joke that they don't tell retarded people? You haven't? Well then alright let me tell you because it's actually quite amusing.

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How do you tell identical twins apart? You can't. They look identical.

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How much does a polar bear weigh? about 900 pounds

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How is matt and alicia going last after summer They won't

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Why did the little boy cross the road? He didnt. He actually got halfway across the road and was struck by a fast moving car. There is now a memorial on the side of the road mourning his death...

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A. Why did the chicken cross the road? B. Why? A. To get to the other side. A. Knock, Knock. B. Who's there? A. The chicken.

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a duck walks into a bar, sits down and asks for grapes. the bartender says, "no, we don't serve grapes." so the duck leaves. the next day the duck goes back to the bar, takes a seat. "got any grapes?" the bartender says, "i already told you we don't serve grapes here. if you come in here and ask for grapes one more time, i'm going to staple your beak to the wall!" the duck leaves. the next day, the duck returns, sits at the bar and asks, "got any staples?" the bartender replies, "no, but there's an Office Max next door where you might find some."

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What song did Buddy the elf sing for Santa on his birthday? Happy birthday

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What's The Difference Between Roast Beef And Pea Soup? Roast Beef Is Made From A Cow And Is Commonly Sold At Your Local Arby's.Pea Soup Is Made From Peas And No One Really Likes Pea Soup Anyway So Its Not Really Sold Anywhere.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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