When is a door not a door? When it is a cup.

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Hey, your mom left something at my house. It is pink and lasy. It is her new hat and i think she will want it back.

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Why is the man's nose bleeding? Because I punched him in the nose. He looked at me funny.

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Whats worse than an oompa loompa a black midget

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What did the man say to the other man? I would have no clue because I am deaf

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Women are definitely a full time job.. You should be paid to have them......

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? First of all, babies do not have the physical ability or the mental capacity to ever paint a wall, no matter how many of them there are. Second of all, they are dead which probably will not increase their chances of painting said wall.

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Why do blondes where pigtails? Because they look nice.

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A Jew was walking home one night when two thugs leapt out of the darkness and demanded his money and other possessions at gunpoint. A reflection of how dangerous our streets can be at night.

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How can you kill someone who looks like a squirrel? With an bomb. That would kill most people.

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Why is Jesus not real? Because Chuck Norris is still alive.

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Why is NO ONE on Facebook when I AM?! Because you have no friends... on Facebook... ... Wow.

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why can't Michael Jackson bake a pie???? Because he's dead

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Why was the clown murdered? Because it laughed at my cousin so he ran right into the icicle 10 times to the heart

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Do you know whats funny to say to someone unless they're black. Your ma's in jail.

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There is a terrorist attack. Muslims are blamed for it.

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How do you make a girl scout cry? Steal her cookies

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cancer

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Boy: Is your body from McDonalds ? Girl: Aww is it because your lovin' it? Boy: No, it's because your greasy and fat!

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Did you hear the one about the kinky dominatrix? No. Damn. I really wanted the details.

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So a mouse walks into a bar....the bartender immediatly kills it because he doesn't want another C rating by the sanitation department.

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Q: How do you stop a hijacked plane? A: The plane can't be hijacked because the pilots cabin is not accessable until the plane lands.

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Four brothers joined the army and were deployed to Iraq. Two of them committed suicide.

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One day my dog ran away. We drove around for a long time looking for it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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