What happened when the Hispanic man dropped his Wollet? He picked it up

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SCP-009-J is missing. Where has it gone? Is it under the table? Was it sat upon? Is it there on the ceiling? Is it under the rug? Was it gobbled right up by a quantum pillbug? Did it run through the tunnel? Did it fall down the stair? Was it sent back in time to a carnival fair? Did it get on a train to a far-away place? Is it locked in a falsified beacon from space? Did it fall in the oobleck and [DATA EXPUNGED]? If it clogged up the sink, will it have to be plunged? Just where has SCP-009-J gotten to? Oh wait, that's right! SCP-009-J is you!

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Tilt your screen back

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How do you stop a group of black guys from fighting? go over to them and ask them politely to stop.

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Ahmed walks into Abbar. He apologized and they both continued about their jobs as sales assistants at Pottery Barn.

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why did the gay person cry? he was said that he couldn't marry his boyfriend.

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A bear is chasing a rabbit through the woods. The rabbit stumbles into a genie while coming to a clearing. The Genie says, "I will give you both three wishes." The bear thinks quickly and says, "I wish every bear in the forest was female." The Genie then grants the wish. "And...now I wish that each bear in the country was female!" The Genie grants the wish. "AND I WISH THAT EVERY BEAR IN THE WORLD WAS FEMALE!!!" the bear exclaims, now getting overly excited by his wishes. The Genie grants the last wish and then turns to the rabbit. "Your turn." The rabbit wishes for a pair of running shoes and the well being of his family and friends. For his last wish he points at the bear and says, "I wish he was gay."

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What's the difference between watermelon and baby? I don't eat watermelon.

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The speakers on my computer were broken, so I was going to replace them with John Boehner. Because he is the SPEAKER of the house.

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60+8.99999999=68.99999999 soo close

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If life hands you lemons you're probably a hippy because you know someone named 'life'

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Hey I just met you you are a sneaker smell my gym socks and then pick oot throughyour nose

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Why do they censor everything on here? Because **** **** ******* *** ***** *****.

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Where do you find a quadriplegic? Where you left him

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what's funnier than a dead baby? a lot of less tragic things

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Roses are red. Violets are red. Your garden's on fire.

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knock,knock who's there? the postman didn't answer as he is deaf

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What do Chuck Norris and Oprah Winfrey have in common? They are both white, male, good actors, white, rich, and white. Except for the eagle.

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How can you tell I'm the biggest idiot in the room? Look at me.

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what do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch names

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When does 1+1=3? When the condom fails.

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How do you wake up lady GaGa? You po po po poker face!

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A black guy NOT arrested for being black.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have Alzheimers Cheese on toes

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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