Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock (who's there?) Not Sally.

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5 Christians, 4 Arabs, 3 Jews, and a Monkey are locked in a room with sticky bombs, hand grenades, a bible, and some bananas. What do they do? play scrabble

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What's worse than finding half a worm in your Apple ? The holocust .

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How do you know if you have athlete's foot? You ask your doctor, and he will tell you.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I kill children dont worry about it

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What did the monkey say to the garbage collector? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAA

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Q:Whats yellow and on the floor in the bathroom? A: A Rubber Ducky

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Why did the pengoon cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken

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Yo mamma's so fat, she's self-concsious about her weight and is embarassed when people make fun of her weight which makes her escape to her only friend, food, which makes her even fatter, so she will never lose weight until society accepts her and is not so prejudice towards overweight people.

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What was the dying Raccoons last words? I don't want to die.

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A bishop died and went to heaven. At the Pearly gates he sees Saint Peter , so he says to Peter "All my life I've been a committed Christian, but I just before I died I was tempted by a woman of ill repute". Saint Peter says "This is just an illusion, your dying brain is merely conjuring up images based on your presuppositions of an 'afterlife'. You have about three seconds left"

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Why was Michael Jackson seen shopping at Kmart? Because he heard little boys pants were 50% off the original price.

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What is Alqueida's favorite football team? The New York Jets.

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Why does Courtney smell? she has a severe lack of personal hygiene which needs addressing,

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brandon ya twwat

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what is brown and sticky? a stick

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what is green and has wheels? grass i lied about the wheels

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What do you get when you cross a shark and a squid Nothing thats impossible

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What did the husband say when his wife startled him as she appeared coming out of the kitchen? You scared me.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being molested by a giant octopus.

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A new family have moved in next to me. They have three little kids and they've challenged me to a water fight in the back yard, so I'm just writing this while I'm waiting for the kettle to boil

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what did the blind, deaf, paraplegic child get for christmas? other than cancer, nothing.

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Yo mamas so fat.

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A rabbi, a nun, a priest, a hooker, a stripper, 2 secret servicemen, a teacher, a midget, a ginger, a rodeo clown, a nascar driver, a homosexual native american, a heterosexual native american, 2 portuguese tuba players, an african american taxi driver, a blind man, his seeing eye dog, a bartender, 2 minor league baseball players, 3 lesbian mexican salsa dance instructors and a dwarf are all in a bar. They all had a good time and the teacher and one ol the portuguese tuba players ended up becoming facebook friends.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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