What's worse than a baby in a blender? Two babies in a blender

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What's black and always in the back of a cop car? The seat.

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What do you get when you mix Fruit and Flys? Fries... or Flutes, depending on how many Flys your add.

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An Irish man walks into a bar, and then realizes that he's walked into the wrong establishment (He was looking for an upscale restaurant.)

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, why the long face. The horse replies, neigh.

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How do you get your wife to stop nagging? chop off her head

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What's worst than finding two worms in your apple? Two holocausts.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The question just posed is unanswerable, as in order to state the reasoning for the chicken crossing the road, one would have to assume the a chicken has a concept of 'road'. As the chicken is an avant, we can safely say that it has no need of pavements/ sidewalks or roads. As a result, it cannot possibly have an incentive for doing so. Consider the following hypothetical analogy: you are walking in a forest, and you unknowingly cross another animals scent trail. You cannot possibly say WHY you walked across the scent trail, as you didn't know it was there. You can state your reasoning for walking in the first place, but not for crossing that specific scent trail. In conclusion, this question is unanswerable, due to the chicken's lack of knowledge about roads.

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Q. what did the kid say to his foreign language teacher about the test? A: i dont understand this test, its like in a complete different language

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Q. Why are most jews unemployed? A. They all got fired.

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What did the nintendo Wii say as it went down the slide? They don't talk.

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What happens when the hydro goes out for 1 second? 1 minute? 1 hour? 1 day? 1 month? 1 year? -1.8 people die. 105 people die. 6,306 people die. 151,338 people die. 4,603,198 people die. 55,238,376 people die. Aw shit, then you have to take account for how many people die of starvation :\, and the ones who froze to death, and the ones who died from heat stroke, And the ones who died of Alzheimers.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "why the long face", the horse said nothing; because it is a horse.

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What did the liberian man say to the kid he just spat on? You have ebola. and probably aids.

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What's worse than failing an exam? Failing two exams.

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What happened to the man that walked into the bar... He walked into the bar

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A blonde, brunette, and a redhead are taking a chemistry exam. They each get a solid B on the test.

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What's a Jew's favorite food? You would have to ask on an individual basis because it is unfair to say that all Jew's have the same favorite food

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Why did the dinosaurs die out? This is a long and debated subject, and as no one was alive back then and no solid evidence has been found to support any theories we can only wait.

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Q:What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? A: Getting raped by a giant scorpion

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What do u get when u lick chicken Answer- Your a retard if you did not figure it out it is obviously chicken taste DERP!

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue Even though I can't tell Because I am color blind

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What did the Atlantic Ocean say to the Pacific Ocean? Sploosh

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Y2K

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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