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Why did princess diana cross the road? She wasn't wearing her seatbelt

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Why do you not play poker with a cheetah. 1. Animals can't play card games. 2. Cheetahs are carnivores. Think about it.

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Boy 1: Hey do you want my last chewing gum? Boy 2: Yeah please! Boy 1: Same. The boy continues to eat the chewing gum and finishes his shit wandering why the boy walked into the same cubicle as him.

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Yo mama is so fat she probably has diabetes, poor circulation in her extremities, and cannot ride anything at Disney World.

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How do you kill a dumb blonde? Stab them in the chest 43 times.

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Why DIDN'T the chicken cross the road? Because it got hit by a bus

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What did the underaged man say when he walked in the bar? He asked for a Coke.

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How do you kill a blonde? Tell her she can breath underwater.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Back when seven was in Vietnam, he sufferd Posttraumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and constantly has flash backs and irrational thoughts of six being with the veitnamese alliance and tries to viciously molest six whenever he runs out of anxiety medication.

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to boys are playing football 1 ses pass tje over ses pass wot

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Knock, Knock. Who's there Hey, it's Dave. Oh well come on in.

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Yo mama so old when I slapped her on the back her tits fell off.

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Why did the plane crash? Because there was no pilot

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In 1284, while the town of Hamelin was suffering from a rat infestation, a man dressed in pied clothing appeared, claiming to be a rat-catcher. He loyally promised the townsmen a solution for their problem with the rats. The townsmen in appreciation and glad to get rid of the infestation promised to pay him for the removal of the rats, they were looking forward to being left in peace. The man pleased with their decision accepted, and played a mystical musical pipe to lure the rats with a joyous song into the Weser River, where all but one drowned. Despite his renowned success, the people reneged on their promise and refused to pay the rat-catcher the full amount of money. The man left the town angry and upset the people had betrayed his kindness, he did however vow to return some time later, seeking revenge. On Saint John and Paul's day while the inhabitants were happily sat in church, he played his pipe yet again, dressed in green, like a hunter, this time attracting the young and joyful children of Hamelin. One hundred and thirty boys and girls followed him out of the town, skipping in song as they went, where they were lured into a cave. The events that followed are now known as the 1284 mass child massacrer, in which all 130 children were raped and savagely tortured and killed one by one, each viscously taped and recorded for the pipe pipers satisfaction, where a copy of each tape was sent to their corresponding parents, this was before their bodies turned up dangling from a tree and the bottom of the village, all 130 of them unrecognisable from decomposition and mutilation the pipe piper had inflicted.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? An Alzheimers's patient. An Alzheimers's patient who? To get to the other side!

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The blond detective was searching a crime scene and replied to the police officer, "I smell something fishy about this situation." She was on her period as a matter of fact, and bled all over her trousers.

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How many Jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One. Screwing in a lightbulb is a simple, menial task, and the fact that the man was a Jew is irrelevant.

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Why did Sara fall off the swing? Because she had no arms... Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sara.

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Why is 13 the most hated number? 13 is Jewish.

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*Wear a Mario costume* What happened to Luigi? I ate him.

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if you're jesus and you know it, clap your hands

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What did the woman say when her boyfriend asked her to marry him? Idk my bff jill.

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Why did the prostitute begin to cry when she saw the chinese patron's penis? His testicles are diced onions.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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