Hey. I came up with an anti-joke. I posted it here.

What ticks like a clock and has numbers on it? A clock.

CHICKEN it is a chickenly chickeny food we eat WRONG

Wanna know what a hate about instructions? I always get my dick stuck in a ceiling fan.

sticks and stones may break my bones but cataracts will prohibit you from eyesight

Why did the bald man die? Cancer.

Why Did the one handed man cross the road? To get to the dying man on the other side

Why can't Vampires go out in the sunlight? Because they don't exist.

Q: What did the bulbasoar say to the charmander? A: bulbasoarrr

Why did the chicken cross the road? A: This is a highly unlikely circumstance due to the fact that there are no wild chickens and most chicken coops are nowhere near a road

a dad farts in the woods nothing else happens

What's the difference between a bird and a horse? - Both can fly, exept the horse.

What has eight wheels and cost more than a Lamborghini? Two Lamborghinis.

How many licks does it take for a pedophile to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop? Given a simple random sample of pedophiles, they will most likely have the same statistical standard normal distribution of tongue sizes and saliva efficacy as any other part of the population. Therefore, that question in regards to the tongues of pedophiles is irrelevant and remains unanswered.

Q. What does a rock and a bird have in common? A. Everything. Except a bird can fly and has wings and can breath and eats and makes babies...

Whats the difference between christians and nazis? one suppressed human rights and caused millions of deaths. the others were responsible for the holocaust.

What is worse than finding your parents dead? You being charged for the crime.

In that case you are probably a bit of an outcast as most girls of your beauty are, you know, you are that kind of girl that feels weird because when she got/gets on the buss EVERYONE stares at her, but nobody dares to say anything, right? And when you are hanging out for a drink or something guys stare at you, and go like "nah" which means "Nah she is too good to want me" and starts hitting on your friends instead. Oh and you also get a lot of rude comments from guys "auto disqualifying themselves" like using complements they know will backfire like "Hey wanna fuck sugart1ts? They do this so they can go home with their ego intact thinking "Hey I was tough enough to hit on her, but she turned out to be a bitch! So does any of this sound familiar?

What did the dead guy say to the other guy? "You murdered me." How did he hear the dead guy? He was dead too.

What do you call a chicken who crosses a road? Nothing, its still a chicken

a kid calls 911 and says ,"is this 911?" and the operator says ,"NO! THIS IS PATRICK!!!!!!"

A kid walked in to a bar, grabbed a napkin, and left

What do you call a lettuce named Andrew? Andrew.

A man and a midget walk into a bar each carrying a suitcase. They were stopping by after work.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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