How do you drown a blonde? You hold her head under water until water gets into her lungs and she cant breathe.

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Why did the chicken commit suicide? To get to the other side.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? A blind deer.

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Q: What's worse than falling off a mountain A: Falling off a mountain into a pile of spikes

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What's green and gets you high? Marijuana.

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Your mom is so fat that her doctor told her to go on a diet.

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What happens to the yellow hat when it is thrown into the red sea? It get's wet.

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Knock knock Who's there? Oh. I was just making sound effects.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? to get away from a gigantic tiger slowly stalking him

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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What's the difference between a trash can full of dead babies and a Porsche? I don't have a Porsche in my garage.

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Did it hurt when you fell from heaven, or have you been in a wheelchair all your life?

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how do you make a plumber cry kill his family how do you kill the plumbers family with a wrench

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Why is the women in the street selling her body for money? because she has 3 kids and a father with cancer.

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Jews for Jesus

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What did T Pain say to the skipper of his yacht? I'm on a yacht

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Somewhere in prison- Germany 1940 Janurary, Tuesday, 630PM: "Why doya' think you're so innocent" "It was only a jew!"

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Why did Kallum come to Getaway? Because he ran out of hats

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Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Give a man a gun and he'll build you a refrigerator.

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Q:What do you call chocolate without a gag reflex? A: Choc-o-late (Choke a lot)

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What do an owl and a squirrel have in common? They can both fly! Except for the squirrel.

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Why Lilly fell out of a cradle ? She had no arms.

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Why did the deer cross the road? It didn't, the animal species is incapable of having a logical reason to possessing the will to cross a road. ruhtard

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Why did Hitler commit suicide? Because the Nazis were on the brink of losing the war and Berlin was shortly to be captured by Soviet forces.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops