Roses are red Violets are blue I have Ebola How about you?

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Knock knock. Who's there? It's me. Oh, come on in. Thanks.

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when life gives you lemmons, chuck em' at beiber

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Knock knock Who's there? Mike Mike who? Mike Davis from across the street. Come in.

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Q. Why did the chicken cross the road ? A. Because he had grown tired of living thus choosing to end his life.

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What do you call a black man playing golf? A golfer.

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Why did the chicken go up the car? To get a drink.

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What did the daddy hamster say to the baby hamster? Nothing. Male hamsters eat their young.

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Verbal assault; because battering someone to death with a dictionary has never been so much fun. [L]

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Whats brown and sticky? A stick

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Why did the cow eat the grass? Only thing he had to eat.

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A man goes to the doctor's office. The doctor says, "I have some bad news, and some worse news. The bad news is you have alzheimer's. The worse news is you have cancer." The man breaks down in tears, realizing that his life as he knew it is over, and recognizing the horrible burden he is about to become on his family, both financially and emotionally.

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Knock Knock (No response) Knock knock (No response)

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why did the alien eat the cow? peer pressure

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Knock, knock. Who's there. Death.

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A blonde, a brunette and a red head are having a discussion on current issues. The brunette says she would like to see improvements in the environment. The red head says she would like to see the economy prosper. The blonde says she has to take a poop.

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Knock knock Who's there? Yolanda I do not know anyone by that name. I am sorry Oh I must be at the wrong house. My apologies. Oh, it's alright. Have a nice day You too. Take care!

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Roses are red Violets are blue I rather sleep in the class Like a boss in the school -HairyBoss

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Why did the soccer player miss practice? He got shot in the face.

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What is funnier than one dead baby? Two dead Babies

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How do you tie your shoes underwater? In a submarine

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What do you call a gay Jew? I don't know, but Jews are cool.

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What's worse than rain on your wedding day? You scheduling your wedding to be held on an aircraft carrier on december 7th 1941.

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What did Superman get for Christmas. Nothing as he likes to stay detached from society.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops