Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she couldn't afford one.

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What happens when a black man falls out of a tree? He gets hurt.

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Your mom is so fat she probably has a body mass index of between 25 and 30 which is considered to be "overweight" but paradoxically is associated with fewer health risks by medical professionals.

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Why did Hitler kill the Jews? He didn't, the people he told to kill them did.

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I take the "the" out of Psychotherapist

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what is the most efficient way to scratch your balls? hire a leprechaun slave.

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I haven't had sex for about 2 years, 10 months, 20 days and 4 minutes. It doesn't bother me though.

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roses are red violets are blue ur family is dead and u will die too

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My neighour knocked on my door at 2.30am last night, can u believe it? 2.30am? How rude I thought. Luckily I was still up, playing drums.

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Why did Sally fall of the swing? Breaking news! An 18 wheeler has gone loose and hit a playground damaging a swing, 1 fatality and 16 children injured 5 in critical condition

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I painted my dog to look like pizza. Someone ate him. It was my mom.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Suzie Thum thump Who's there Bethany Hamilton

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Follow the Yellow brick road, follow the yellow brick road........except it's not yellow.

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What did Buzz say to Woody? A lot. There were 3 movies.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sally!

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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Billy is walking down the street when he spots 1 armed johnny hanging in a tree.Billy proceeds to wave causing Johnny to wave with his 1 arm. Johnny falls out of the tree and dies

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suck my dick.

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What did the pear tree say to the farmer? Go harvest that corn over yonder.

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why did kermit cry?Ms.Piggy knocked him out on Christmas and he slept through the party and all of the presents

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speacking of cheese... steve jobs died

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[Insert dumb, last minute anti-joke here]

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What do you do when you see a half-dead black man on the floor? Call an ambulance before he bleeds out causing sepsis.

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When my brother was hanging at YOUR cross, he asked "daddy" "Oh father why!" Then lightning struck and the weather went to fuck. Moral: WHAT KIND OF RESPONSE IS THAT YOU PIECE OF SHIT!?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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