roses are red violets are blue cookie monster is gonna eat you big bird is yellow you look mellow dont forget elmo to

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Tip for Employers: Avoid hiring unlucky people by immediately tossing half the resumes into the bin.

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There are fewer coppers on sundays. As well as criminality.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive a train? Because she's blind.

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What do you do if a goose comes flying towards you? Duck.

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Most of these Anti-Jokes are Anti-Anti jokes, which makes them funny, if they were actually Anti-Jokes they wouldn't be funny at all.

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knock,knock who's there? the postman didn't answer as he is deaf

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Why couldn't the blonde bride make it to her own wedding? She had another unplanned circumstance occur and the wedding was postponed until next week.

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what did the man say to his boss? Hello boss

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Why do Squirrels accidentally plant millions of trees. Because they bury their nuts and forget where they are.

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What happened when the man turned on his TV? It was tuned to the Discovery Channel

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what do you call a joke that makes no sense? a joke that makes no sense

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Yo mama is so ugly, she entered an ugly contest and placed well in her division.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the idiot's house... Knock knock Who's there? The Chincken

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How do you find the population of Mexico? Send out a census

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What do a fish and a frog have in common? They can both live in water. Its a well known fact.

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A horse walks in a bar and the bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse didn't reply because he was a hoarse horse.

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"How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator?" "Open the refrigerator, put in the giraffe, and close the door." "How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator?" "Open the refrigerator, take out the giraffe, put in the elephant and close the door." "The Lion King is hosting an animal conference. All the animals attend.... except one. Which one?" "The Elephant. The elephant is in the refrigerator." "There is a river you must cross but it is used by crocodiles, and you do not have a boat." "You jump into the river and swim across. Have you not been listening? All the crocodiles are attending the Animal Meeting."

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what did the homeless person get for Cristmas? nothing.

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How do you write an anti-joke? With the keyboard Or voice recognition software

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Why are asians such bad drivers? Cause they constantly have their eyes closed.

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Roses are red Violets are blue The other color on our flag is white I'm an American and rhyming doesn't matter

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One time there was a girl in a wheelchair and she couldn't walk.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Seven was a serial killer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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