what did the astronomer say when he lost his telescope? where is my telescope?

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Whats green, and says i'm a frog? A talking frog.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did Max drink the red Gatorade? Because he likes it more than all of the other flavors.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Adam and Eve ate the apple and felt a bit ashamed and stuff. God looked upon them and said, well its just a fucking apple get outta here you kids! Adam and Eve also took things a bit too literal

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did michael say to sam? (pedo face) YEH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A grasshopper walks into a bar and the bartender says "Hey! We have a drink named after you!" The grasshopper doesn't respond because he is a grasshopper and therefore can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

If i was a painting... Id hang myself

thumb_up thumb_down +3

HAVE A GOOD DAY. DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

So once upon a midnight dreery.... In a galaxy far far away that takes place in the past but resembles a technologically advanced future, an evil sith overlord took an innocent Jedi knight and turned him in a cybernetic killing machine. In the end, he dies

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing 'cause you done told the b i t c h twice!

thumb_up thumb_down -19

whats worse than death getting your nuts ripped of by a rabid racoon

thumb_up thumb_down -15

My name is Corey, and I am Dickbang Majestic. Q: Who is Dickbang Majestic? A: Corey is.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me!

thumb_up thumb_down -19

a man says "whats shakin bakin" to a friend, but his friend was shaking, because he often has seizures... thats what was shakin

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He got hit in the head with a brick.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did Susie fall off the swings? She had no arms. Knock! Knock! Who's there? Not Susie.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A haiku for you Would not provide enough space To say all the nice

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A brunette, a redhead and a blonde are trapped on a desert island. As they investigate the island to find food and shelter they find a magic lamp. Together they rub the lamp and sure enough a genie appears and tells them he will grant each of them a single wish. The brunette goes first and wishes to be back home. The genie claps his hands and she appears in her house, where her husband and children are waiting for her. She is happy that her ordeal is behind her and to see her loved ones. The redhead goes next and also wishes to be back home. The genie claps his hands and she appears in her house. She is not married and has no kids, but she has 2 cats. She is happy to be through her ordeal and to see her beloved pets. The blonde went last and also wished to be sent home. The genie clapped his hands and she appeared back in her house. She wasn't married, and had no kids or pets, but she was still happy that her ordeal was over.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

why does horse head huffer keep posting here? because he really doesn't understand the concept.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

How types of people are there? One, we are the only homo sapiens.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Why did the chicken cross the playground? Thats what she said

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the boy kill his father? Because he was molesting him.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A black man, a Mexican man, and a cop are walking in downtown New York. So are tens of thousands of other people, because it is a very large and diverse city.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

How dis the chicken cross the road? On it's chicken wings.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops