What did Hellen Keller's parents punish her? They didn't. She was a blind deaf-mute, there was very little she could do wrong

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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Stop Iran! We need the money.

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Have you heard the one about the Norwegian? He killed 98 people.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs floating in a lake? Bob.

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How many babies does it take to paint a house? It depends on how hard you throw them.

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A guy walks into a bar. He's thirsty and wants a beer.

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What's worse than finding ten babies nailed to a tree? One baby nailed to ten trees

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did you stub your toe?

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Whats worse than sourcraut? Casey Anthony.

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What do a tree and I have in common? We would both be mad if we got turned into paper.

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What did the blind kid get for Christmas? Same ones he got last year.

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Why was Helen Keller a bad driver? Because she was blind and deaf.

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why did it take the black man 1.5 hours to get out of a movie theater? he wanted to patiently wait for the movie to end.

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What's green and has wheels? grass... i lied about the wheels

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Women's rights.

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Want to hear a dead baby joke? Abortion

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Why couldn't the Asian drive? He was blind

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What does the cup-cake say to the cake? Do you want a cup in your cake to make it cup-cake?

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How many elephants can you fit in a mini? None. There are no affordable cars large enough to fit a fully grown elephant.

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why did the chicken cross the road? To prove to the possum it can be done.

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Do you have emotional issues, ever have a really bad day and just wanna talk call this number (402-314-5287) < N1GGER

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What did the boy say to the elders at the senior center? Dayum, you're all ugly!

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How do you call two black men on the moon? Astronauts.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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