what do you get when you you put a knife in a head? a dead body

How do you confuse Helen Keller? You don't. She's dead.

What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

Stop being a centipede

What color is the bus? Yellow What color is the bus? Yellow What color is the bus? Yellow What color is the kid? Red because he got hit by the bus.

Q: Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? A: Because she is a woman.

Q: What is worse than getting stung by a bee? A: Your breath. Please have a mint.

Why did the kid drop his ice cream? He was hit by a bus

A horse walks into a mans house. The man wonders how the horse got into his house.

a retard walks into a bar a bruise appeared on his head

What does Pontiac stand for - People Of Normal Thinking Intelligence Acting Classy

What do the words lightbulb and lightweight have in common? The word light is in both words. Other than that absolutely nothing.

WNBA

I was walking down a railway line the other day... I was fined £1000

9/11 isn't funny. 19 Muslims died that day.

Joe diragi is gayer than elton john

how do you know if your pleasuring a woman? who cares

I asked a girl on a date. She said no.

Q: Santa Clause, the Tooth Fairy, and a rich mexican jump out of the plane at the same time. Who hit the ground first? A: The answer is none of the above, because they don't exist.

Q: What did Jenna Jameson say when she heard hard banging near the front door? A: Come inside

Brother Bro-ther Broad her Soap

What's the funniest part of a tomato? The skin.

What's the difference between a red Ferrari and a pile of deal babies? The red Ferrari is not in my garage right now.

Q. What did the Vampire say when he ate the Pizza? A. Nothing. It is literally impossible for a vampire to be real, therefore it's insane if you thought it said something.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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