Why can't Amy Winehouse sing? She's dead.

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why did aodhan not play BO2? Aodhan has Cerebral palsy.

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Hey, how much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to drown as a result of climate change.

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What's a bit smaller than the tallest man in the world? The 2nd tallest man in the world.

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why did Sussie fall off the swing? She had no arms! Knock knock whose there not Sussie

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People tell me im insane. Its all a conspiracy.

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What's worse than a bee sting? A katon.

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Whats skinny, round, tall, smells like a dead baby, hard, small, and fat? nothing

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a 5 year old rapes a pedophile

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What did the little girls who's parents died in a car accident get for her birthday? Foster Parents

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What did the sea say to the sand? Nothing, he just waved.

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why cant blondes water ski.......... because whenever they split their legs they feel somthing wet

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There once was the worlds most important people on an airplane. All of them. They were a Boy Scout with a hiking pack, World's Oldest person, World's Smartest person, a Scientist who had the cure to cancer, and the World's Richest man. The Pilot told them that the plane was running out of gas and they would have to bail. But there was a problem, two people were going to have to die. They were only two parachutes short. So the Scientist grabbed one and said, "I'm the only one with the cure to cancer I've got lives to save." And he bails. Then the World's oldest person jumps out with a parachute saying, "I Still Have A Life To Live!!!" Then the Richest person realizes there is two parachutes left. He says, "I have the most money so I have to go because I could save America from going bankrupt." Grabs a chute and jumps. Then, the world's smartest person just happens to be so selfish and bails with the last Parachute. So the Pilot and and the Boy Scout were left. The pilot was kind enough to let the Kid go because he still had he longest life to live. But the kid said no, we could both go. The pilot said no you go. The kid was still being stubborn. And said No, we could both go, The world's smartest person took my back pack, there is one chute left, we could share it. And so they both jumped and landed safely on the ground. And that was the end of the World's smartest man.

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Women's Rights...

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Scenario: 2 people are in a desert. There is only 1 bottle of water left to drink. Who drinks it? Neither of them, they drink the gallon bottle of gatorade instead.

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Back in my day,we used to have Johnny Cash,Bob Hope and Steve Jobs. Now we have higher divorce rates.

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Why didn't gram-pa give his grandson a Birthday present? Because he had Alzheimer's and forgot about him.

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Why did the man write with a pen on paper? Because he was writing a novel.

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4 men walk into a bar... Don't jump to conclusions! They were gay.

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Why does mcguigan get made fun of ? Because he is gay with Jack Walsh

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What did Juliet tell Romeo before they kissed? Kiss me Romeo

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60+8.99999999=68.99999999 soo close

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phone and phone charger were talking to each other suddenly a massive hand swopped down to the charger and another hand came down and grabbed the phone they both started screeming so the hand stabbed the phone with the phone charger so the phone said... ALL I DID WAS SCREEM (RANDOMZZZ) (L.W)

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why did the packers win the superbowl? because they were very good

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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