Your mother is so fat she has made a concerted effort to loose weight and lead a healthier lifestyle

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What's black, white, and red all over?? A penguin that just got hit by a truck and is now struggling to live.

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What do you do if some idiot throws a grenade at you? Pull the pin and throw it back.

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Why did I call 87 yr old Jamie McMeanBully a douche bag? Because he's sterile

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What's the difference between John Candy and Chris Farley? Nothing. They're both dead.

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guy 1- damn its hot in here guy 2- then turn on the damn fireplace

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A Cow Walk's Into A Bar And Say's Drink Please The Bartender Is Then Sent To A Mental Hospital For Talking To A Cow.

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What is white and flys at you from a tree? A refridgarator. I lied about the flying part.

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A man went to the doctor and told him he was having the strangest dream. "First I was a tee pee Then I was a wigwam A tee pee, a wigwam. Do you have any idea what could be wrong?" The doctor looked at the man and said "You have aids."

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What did the Asian get on his math assignment? 56%, he forgot about it and passed it in a day late with a number of questions uncompleted.

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If pro is the opposite of con what's the opposite of progress? Retrogression.

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How Do you put an elephant in a fridge? Open the door put the elephant in and close the door. How do you put a giraffe in a fridge? Open the door take the elephant out put the giraffe in and close the door. The lion king has a meeting with all the animals but one doesn't turn up, which one is it? The giraffe because it's still in the fridge.

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What do 9 out of 10 people enjoy? Gangrape.

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How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way.

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If only i were a man! You not! Your a.... WO-MAN!

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There once was a girl who took away my source of entertainment. Her name was Nicole.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It died.

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What did the priest say to the little boy? "Reading antijokes in rapid succession takes almost all humor from them."

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Why did the boy fall off the purple cliff? Because someone cut of his legs and arms and threw him off.

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knock knock who is there who who who your an owl

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She is a woman.

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A girl dropped her pencil while sitting next to her bf... She glanced at his phone while he was texting a message that said "I love you"... The girl jumped up and called him every name she could think of and left the room... The message was to his mother! She didn't listen and left him... He killed himself because she left him... She killed herself because he killed himself... Moral of the story: Don't drop you pencil!

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Why Do cats purr when you pet them? I'm actually asking a question there I don't know why.

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Roses are grey Violets are grey Everything is grey I am a dog

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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