So you're flying around in your bathtub, how pancakes to shingle a doghouse? Airhockey, because pizza bagels can't cry.

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How long did it take Jeff, a middle-aged man with a lifelong speech-destroying lisp, to overcome his impediment? Less than ten minutes, as carbon monoxide is a colorless, odorless toxic gas that eliminates oxygen at a rapidly-acting rate inside of small areas such as the car Jeff locked himself inside.

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A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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How do you find out the population of Mexico? The census.

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Why does Danny work at the factory? Because Danny is in an substantial economic crisis, and doesn't have enough money to afford food for his 6 kids and wife. They will all most likely die soon, as his factory job will not provide enough money.

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How do you save a drowning Asian teenage boy? You get him out of the water.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Houlocaust. What's worse than the Houlocaust? Nothing, the Haulocaust was one of the most horrible instances of inhumanity in recorded history.

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Whats The diference between a park bench and a black man? A park bench can support a family of five hahahhaahahah

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So Helen Keller walks into a bar...

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato.

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Q: What is George Harrison's favorite hairstyle? A: How can we know? He's dead!

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what did the fat guy say to the girl ill make fun of you because i have bigger tits than you

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want to get screwed for four years? VOTE REFUGLYCAN!

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How do you find out a chinese's name? Ask him/her

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What's funnier than 24? My life.

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When life gives you lemons... you probably just found lemons...

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Why was the chicken sad because it lost it's family

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yo momma so fat that she's fat

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What's dry and unpleasant to eat? Sand.

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life is like a penis, short but feels long when it's hard.

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How do you make Al Gore cry? Kill his daughter.

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What the best part of having sex with twenty-eight year olds? Theres 20 of them.

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why did they plain crash? cause of gravity stupid

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Two penguins are sitting on an ice flow. One says to the other: "hey--you know, it looks like you are wearing a tuxedo." The other one says, "who says I'm not?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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