What's the difference between Mitt Romney and a statue of Mitt Romney? The statue doesn't change its position.

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A priest, a rabbi and a captain are in a sinking ship. The rabbi says let's save the children. The captain says f*ck the children. The priest days do we have time.

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Why do cows have hooves instead of feet? Because they lactose!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? because it looked both ways and saw no cars coming.

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What's so funny about a heart attack? It's not kidney failure..

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Two men are making sandwiches, one man is spreading peanut butter over the bread and the other man is spreading honey and Italian raspberry jam over rye bread. the man with the peanut butter sandwich looks over and says "HEY, where did you get the rye bread?" and the man with the rye bread says "well my wife made it yesterday and I would be delighted if you come over for some tea, and tried some of my wife's homemade rye bread".

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whats purple and brown lucozade sport

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Thats where the slaughterhouse is.

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Dani barton from bob chuckles

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Why couldn't Suzie ride the swings? She got hit by a refrigerator.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Becuse 7 was a convicted serial killer. >----->

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i am writing this because i felt like it.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The holocaust. What's worse than the holocaust? Nothing, you heartless asshole.

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[Enter Funny-Anti Joke Here] [Enter Retarded Answer Here]

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why did the woman get electricuted? because there was an electric fence around the kitchen.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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Why did the white girl lose the race? The girl that she was beating was black and her boy shot her. Therefore the black girl won.

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why did the boat crash? a tomato was driving

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Confucius says, I hear and I forget. I see and I remember. I do and I understand.

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A Muslim get's on a plain. He is heading to Spain, and has a lovely time.

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Why did the cat fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second cat fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the third cat fall out of the tree? It was tied to the second cat. Why did the fourth cat fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the fifth cat fall out of the tree? It needed to get down, but couldn't find any other way down. After he fell, he was minorly hurt and ate some cat food.

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Why couldn't the black man play hockey in college? He died of cancer while still in high school.

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Roses are red violets are blue a face like yours belongs in a zoo don't be sad cause I'll be there to not in the cage but laughing at you

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A black man breaks into a car, he doesn't steal anything because that would a violation of the car owner's privacy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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