What do you say if you see a monkey driving a car? Nothing , you run away because primates are incapable to have motor skill and will probably crash within the next 50 feet

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Two scientists walk into a bar. The first one says, "I'll have some H20" and the second one says, "I'll have some H20 too." The second scientist dies after drinking hydrogen peroxide.

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Bitch

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Roses are Red. Violets are Blue. But Roses can also be White. And Violets should be Purple

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How do you describe a cranky rapist? Cranky and rapist

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Your mother is so stupid that she has lived a very unfulfilling life due to her lack of education.

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what do u call a 50 yr old man at disneyland a rapist

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Llamaworm

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Q:Whats the difference between a black man and a park bench? A: A park bench can support a family.

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It's bright in here *puts on? sunglasses* Ahhh, that's better...

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What's worse than forgetting a punchline?

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Have you heard the one about the Norwegian? He killed 98 people.

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A guy walks into a bar, unfortunately for him, he walked in on a huge bar fight and managed to get the hell knocked out of him as he entered the door.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? ...

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What happened to the dying kangaroo? He died What animal is not in the lion king? Kangaroo --why? Because he died...

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A guy asks his girl friend to marry him and she says yes, so he buys her a new car - a Lamborghini Countach - she loves this car and she goes everywhere in it. One day, she picks up her kids from school. She's got a boy and a girl. As she's driving down the road, a car pulls up in front of her and they have a really nasty accident and she falls into a coma. When she wakes up from the coma there is a doctor next to her and she quickly asks doctor, "Where is my son? He was really good at football, he could have played for England and been better than Beckham." The doctor replies, "I'm so sorry, in the accident he lost his leg he won't be able to kick a football any more." The woman asks about her daughter. "Doctor, where is my daughter? She was really good at tennis and she could have been the best in the world and won at Wimbledon." The doctor says, "Sorry but in the accident she lost her arms and she won't be able to pick up a racket any more." She begins to cry. "Doctor," asks the woman, "how long have I been in this coma?" The doctor replies, "Six months." "So what's the date?" asks the woman. "April 1st," says the doctor. The woman begins to laugh "So you were joking then, were you?" Doctor: "YES... they had minor breaks and cuts but both have made full recoveries. I'll get them and your fiancé down here straight away." The woman is relieved and is discharged three days later to continue recuperating at home, while the doctor is sent to a tribunal for tricking her into believing her children had been maimed and eventually accepts early retirement with a generous severance package.

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What begins with "B" and ends with "N" that you never want to call your neighbor? a Black Person

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Q: What is the difference between a smart blonde and a UFO? A: One is a human while the other is an unidentified flying object.

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whats the difference between a pizza and a Jew?... Never mind, that was a stupid question.

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woman's rights

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What do you call a black guy who flys a plane? A pilot.

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What did the terrorist get for Christmas? A bullet in his head.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Orange. Don't be ridiculous. Oranges can't talk.

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Why did the asian man crash into the stop sign? Because there was a frog stapled to his face.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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