why was 6 afraid of 9? because 7 ate 9 and 6 is afraid of ghosts

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Person A "did you hear about the cure for AIDS?" Person B "no." Person A "neither did I."

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A group of young men walks into a bar. They drink some booze, laugh, have a great time and then go home to sleep.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Two pretzels were walking down an alley way, one was assaulted. In a instinctive move, the other quickly ran away and alerted the authorities. The assaulted pretzel was severely injured but slowly recovered covered from physical trauma and has now sought professional help to deal with it's great deal of post traumatic stress.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What do you call a frog with a bow tie? Cute!

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A blonde and a brunette nearly fell off a cliff and were hanging on for dear life. The brunette found the strength to climb back onto the ledge. The blonde was impressed and had muscular dystrophy so she lost the strength to hold on any longer and fell to her death.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How do you get your girlfriend to become more enthusiastic about swallowing? Stick your dick in Ben & Jerry's Cherry Garcia ice cream.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

hi im bob i ate a Pickle sucked a boob and died of a haert atak

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the Girl fall of the swing? She had no arms Knock Knock Who's There? Not That Girl

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A deaf lion tried to kill a zebra. It succeeded.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A Black Man Walks Into an Office For A Job Interview. The Meeting Goes Very And He Soon Has A Very Nice Steady Job.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

ME: HEY ZACH DO YOU KNOW WHO LIKES YOU................... ZACH: NO!... WHO.... ME: DO YOU REALLY WANT TO KNOW??? ZACH:....YEAH!!!!!!!!!! ME: OKAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY NOBODY!!!!!!!!!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why is Jesus not real? Because Chuck Norris is still alive.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

how do u unload the dishwasher? u take the dishes out!

thumb_up thumb_down +34

whats big green and fuzzy and would kill you if it fell out of a tree? a pool table

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What ticks like a clock and has numbers on it? A clock.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Roses are brown, violets are brown, who is s***ing in my garden?

thumb_up thumb_down +66

John Katzenbach were drinking a soda... He is the author of The Psicoanalist

thumb_up thumb_down -5

If the red house is made out of red bricks, the yellow house is made out of yellow bricks, and the blue house is made out of blue bricks, what is the greenhouse made of? Ah, I see what you did there. You are expecting me to follow the sequence based on how each house is made out of bricks the same color as their title. However, I am one step ahead of you and I know that the greenhouse is made out of glass panels. But what if it were made out of green glass panels? Then, I suppose, the sequence could continue naturally yet we still have a problem of units - bricks vs. glass. Quite the dilemma we are facing.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

roses are head mydick is blue i live in somolia and i killed all the jews

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Ask me if I'm a giraffe Are you a giraffe? Yes

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did the little kids call the boy "pornboy" Because he showed gay porn at the bus stop

thumb_up thumb_down +17

sit in the dark for about 4 or 5 hours covered in Vaseline with a huge dildo inside of your arse

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Want to hear a funny joke? Me too.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops