what is red, white, and spins around real fast? a baby in a washing machine

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A: "Knock knock." B: "Who's there?" A: "John Doe." B: "John Doe who?" A: "..."

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A boy with red hair is happy.

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what did the jewish kid get for his birthday......Striped pajamas

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Baby you think i loved you, but you got played too

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This is no joke. Well, I did warn you.

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Women rights..

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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What did the rapist say before the little girl got in the van? Get in the van

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When I was in 4th grade, I was fat. The other kids would take my lunch and spit in all the food, then give it back. Teachers started to wonder why I wasn't eating, and soon began to ask me if I was anorexic. I replied, "do I look anorexic!?" I'm now 6 foot 3 and weigh 56 pounds. *FUN FACT: based on a heartwarming true story.

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What did the door say to the hand? Please stop caressing me!

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What's the difference between a blonde and a brunette? The pigmentation of their hair follicles.

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Q:what do you call a black guy with a gun A:racial equality in our nations armed forces

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What is red and green and goes round and round? A frog in a blender!

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What do grass and cows have in common? They both say "moo" except for grass

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Jingle bells, batman smells, robin laid an egg.

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Why was O.J acquitted for murder? A jury of his peers deliberated for many days and found there was not sufficient evidence for his conviction.

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Doctor doctor, I came here as quickly as possible, it was just the nearest place I could find. My dog he... he's panting and bleeding and I don't know what to do I think he's dying and I just want him to hold on... Please... Well then go to a vet you stupid shit.

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Her hair was fine, her scent was great, now show me your fucking ****.......please

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? "I'm going to kill everyone you've ever loved you fucking cocksucker, you think you can get away with sleeping with my wife? You better think again kiddo I will take away everything from you until you are reduced to a smoldering ruin of what you once was, mark my words bitch."

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What did the asshole say to his friend behind him? Fart

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An Arab walks into a bar. He doesn't explode, and has a fun time with his friends.

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What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter what you call him he isn't coming anyway!!!!

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A program that creates "pointless inventions" and posts them at the wrong sections.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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