Why did the one-legged chicken say déjà vu? It felt a strong sensation that the current event had been experienced in the past.

This schoolteacher was taking her first golfing lesson. She scored poorly from her lack of practice and experience and was turned off from the sport.

Two bananas are walking down the street. One says, "Nice weather we're having, isn't it?" The other banana says, "Wait a minute, fruit can't talk." The second banana turns into a dove and promptly flies away.

Why did the black man go to jail? He stole some rice.

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple.

Q. How can you tell if your arm is broken? A. Break it.

A man walks into a bar. I don't remember the rest, but your mother's a whore.

roses are red violets are blue ill keep u in my heart forever and ower baby to

chuck norris was shot yesterday... tomorrow is the bullets funeral.

Knock Knock trick or treats? here is the candies, have fun kids!

Whats the difference between a horse and a pile of wheat? Its a pile of wheat.

Why was the child lying in the scrap yard? because he was being torn apart by guard dogs.

What did the little orphan girl get for christmas? nothing her parents are dead

– Hello. Is this a laundry? – Yes, it is a laundry.

What starts with F and ends in UCK? The F word but im not allowed to say it.

What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Someone else's cheese.

What do you get when you cross a squirrel and a horse? Each animal has a different number of genetic faults therefore such a process would be impossible.

What did the African say to the Mexican? "Hola, Como estas?" and the Mexican did not respond because he didn't speak Spanish.

Did you hear that the actress, Reese what's-her-name, got stabbed to death? Witherspoon? No, with a knife.

Why did the fish bite the house? Because he wanted to eat the house

The man goes to the doctor after just losing his job. His house is being foreclosed because without the money from his job he can't afford to pay for his house. His girlfriend also just left him because of problems with money and she was looking forward to having a family and with him jobless it was just out of the question. Man:"Doctor I could really use some good news" Doctor:"You have aids"

How do you make a dead baby float? Two scoops of vanilla ice cream and two scoops of dead baby.

A black guy, a Jew, and a Mexican jump out of a plane. Who dies first? Well, judging by the fact that black people in general have a higher body mass, the black man most likely would smash into the ground first.

what did the duck say to the monkey.............. QUACK!!!!!!!!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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