"hey" said an elephant to another elephant... "why can I talk?" the other elephan did not reply because it is normal and cannot speak or understand the first elephant. And a man near by thinks he's dreaming so he strips down and runs around naked to be tazed on his left testicle an the. Falls into the crocodile enclosure. But they pay no attention because they are docile after being in the zoo so long. But he did land on his balls and is crying.

thumb_up thumb_down -113

Think about it: Is mexico REALLY full of: Lowrides in candy ass sparkly colors such as lip red that bounce, (manly color right? Yeah sure baggot) which contains a whole street war gang of members inside and at least twenty tons of COCAINA! ...But does not have a horn that plays "la cucaracha" Seriously, you say yes right? Hey look at this guy he said yes everybody, but ITS WROOOOOOONG CUCARACHA OR GTFO OF MEXICO! Yeah... Because Mexico is shit, id would be racist if Mexicans didn't agree...

thumb_up thumb_down +24

OH NO, ZOMBIES!!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Person 1: Why does food from Subway taste so good? Person 2: I don't know, why? Person 1: Because their ingredients are fresh. Person 2: Um, OK? Person 1: Yeah, it's all under 18. Person 2: Shit...

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Your mother is so good in the kitchen that we all asked for a second helping.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Wanna hear a funny joke? Oh, I was just asking.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What does a Chinese girl get for Christmas? New parents...

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What is both dead and alive at the same? nothing, thats scientifically impossible you fool

thumb_up thumb_down +54

What is the difference between a bench and a mexican? the bench is an object

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Justin Bieber's mother.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do you call a dead baby in a lunchbox? It doesn't matter he won't hear you.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What did the depressed man get for his birthday? a rope

thumb_up thumb_down

Why is Osama bin laden so hard to find? Because he is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down

A guy, arriving at the pearly gates of Heaven, asks St. Peter "Why did I die? Why me." St. Peter replies: "You died the same way everyone does. Lack of oxygen to the brain."

thumb_up thumb_down -35

What do Michael Jackson and Donkey Kong have in common? They're both famous.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's red but smells like blue paint? Red paint.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What did the fat man with scissors do? Cut off the foreskin of your penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What is the best part about being in bed with twenty eight year olds? There are twenty of them

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Inquiry: After the specially hired detective in shades of black had managed to finish his secret investigation of the crime scene, what significant affair did he demand and expect to subsequently occur next in the logical chain of events? Answer: A specific transaction of money. To elaborate, immediate providance of previously allotted recompense in the particular configuration of myriad pristine wads of cash.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Q:Why did the rockstar put rollerskates on his rocking chair? A:Because he wanted people to see him rocking and rolling on it.:)

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did the Groom give to his Bride on their honeymoon? Herpes.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do you call an overly-sexual, chewbacca-like creature that smokes cocaine and shoots heroin, while beating its offspring? Mom.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

How do you see a black man in the dark? You dont

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What do you call a brunette between two blondes? Susan.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops