September 8, 2011 Amy Winehouse: 46 days sober. Date of death: July 23, 2011

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How do you hack into someone's computer? A few good hits with a hatchet should do the trick

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a Black Swan walks into a bar......,,,.she then has hallucinations and imagines herself having lesbian sex with Mila Kunis...

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this is a haiku i have no idea where i am going with .... this

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What is the difference between a boyscout and a Jew? Boys outs come home from camp.

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A lady was walking to the grocery store as she was walking she saw a old lady with a dog behind them where two black merses and about 200 women behind the merses. The lady Rushes over and ask '' Maim i am sorry to bother you but i would like to know who you lost and how?'' The old lady paused for a minute and awnsered '' I lost my husband and mother in law, Well My husband had just walked in to the house and my new dog went and ferousiously atacted him my mother in law had been living with us at the time she the jumped in and tried to help him They both died because of blood loss'' The lady looked at her with simpathy and thought i feel sorry for her husband and his mother she then asked '' Can i barrow your dog'' the old lady looked puzzled and said '' Get in line '' The lady walked to the end of the line as the dog was Passed to a women and taken home then passed back. When the women got her turn she thought do i want to kill my husband then she thought yes

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What time is it when grandpa sits ontop of a telephone pole and throws pineapples at people? Time to go to a nursing home

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Knock knock. Whos there? I am you dumbass im standing right next to you.

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I began as a dreamer, then I became a visionary, then I saw my dream come true, until it shattered us all. Do you believe that perhaps, there are people out there, trying to stop the world from reaching a better age?

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What's worse than a truckload of dead babies? Wait a week.

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Yo momma eats healthy, exercises regularly and is likely in decent physical condition.

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Why'd Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock! Knock! Who's there? Not Sally.

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knock, knock Who's there? Statefarm... and we are always gonna be there for you

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Who wants pizza crusts?

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Your momma is so fat that she's developed a cardiovascular disease and has 5 weeks to live

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Why did the person get hit by a fridge? They didn't for its physically impossible for most people to throw a normal sized refrigerator.

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Q: What's the difference between a grasshopper and pencil? A: Lots

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What do you call a puppy with one eye, one ear, and one leg? An ugly mother f*cker.

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How do you cheer up a sad caterpillar? KILL IT WITH FIRE

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What did the tourist in Africa get? A souvenior.

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* Are you deaf? * Yes, as I love paradoxes.

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What's long hard and black A drain pipe

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what do you call a black man who is flying a plane? A: a piolt

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I like school Said no one ever.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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