Teacher: Why did you fail this test? Student: Because the hamster that gives energy to my brain just died.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

how do you make a plumber cry? you hit him in the face

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Knock Knock Who's there? Kelly Oh hi Kelly! Long time no see! I know! I've been my working fingers to the bone ever since I got that promotion and I barely have any free time! That must be tough. It is but it pays bills! Being a mother of three isn't a task for the faint of heart. Now Kelly,I was wondering how you thought of the remodeled kitchen....

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Two Jews, three Nazis, and a black guy go into a bar. Where they have a spirited debate about Canadian football. And leave without coming to any conclusions.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do a Jew and a whale have in common? They're both Jewish. Except the whale.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why is justin bieber gay? because he is attracted to men

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's the scariest thing about the dark? There's a black man in my bed.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What do you call A potato who is covered in red refrigerators and is known as a potato. Fallafal

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's funnier than Carrot Top and Dane Cook combined? Almost anything.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

How many Jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb. Two. But it would have to be a very big lightbulb to fit both of them in there.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What is red and has wheels? Grass, I lied about it being red and having wheels.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What's funnier than a dead triceratops? Nothing, nothing at all...in fact this is scary because the triceratops and their other Cretaceous herbivores, have been extinct for over 3.5 trillion years... ........also if you see a dead triceratops, you're probably tripping on LSD.........

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Albert, there is a dead, FLY in your hair.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

A black man walks into a KFC, he then realizes that he is in the wrong store, and walks out.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

what happens when a white guy goes to harlem he gets robbed by 5 to 10 black men

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why is 6 scared of 9? Because 9 is a zombie.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

You can lead a horse to water, but you can't put it in a basket.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the sailor fall off the boat? Because vampires arent real.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

two muffins were in an oven, one muffin said to the other, " ohmygod! its so hot in here!" the other muffin said,"AHHHHHH!!!! its a talking muffin!!"

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Q- Why was Dan mourning the death of his wife? A- He wasn't he was mourning the death of his daughter who was killed in the same car crash as her mother.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the chess grandmaster lose his mind? Because he died of old age.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

okay so three men are in a plane ( this is the type of plane you can open the windows) so the stewardess goes up to the first man he asks for a gun she agrees but hes gotta throw it out the window he confused but he does it anyways the stewardess goes to the second man he asks for a beer she agrees but he has to throw it out the window hes confused but he does it anyways the stewardess walks up the the third man he asks for a pack of C4 she agrees but hes gotta throw it out the window without hesitation he gets it and throws it out the window. so they land and the first man sees a women crieing i was walking down the street and got hit in the head by a gun and arested for being armed the second man sees a hobo cheering loudly hes says he was sleeping in the ally and it started raining budlight the third man shes a women hysterically laughing she says i was going to work and spilled my coffe then my house blew up!

thumb_up thumb_down -22

42

thumb_up thumb_down +16

There once was a man named Trevor. Trevor was walking casually through the forest one day. All of a sudden, a wolf leapt out from the trees. The wolf said, in a harsh voice, "Hey man! This is my patch". But then Trevor woke up and realised that his hallucinations were symptoms of a degenerative brain disease.

thumb_up thumb_down

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops