There once was a squirrel. He lost his nuts.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, It's still in its pen.

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A Man walks into a bar, he sits down on a stool and begins to cry. Why are you crying, asks the Bartender. I just lost my job, my wife left me and I had my car reposesed. Ok says the Bartender, I know what'll cheer you up, he promptly pulls out a 12 inch piano and begins to play. The Man at the Bar says, hey thats awesome where did you get it? The Bartender says, a really old Genie gave it to me. You know what, I like you so I am going to let you have my last wish. Really? Asks the man, Ok thanks, I wish for a million bucks said the man at the bar. There was a Loud voice saying "Your Wish has been granted" then the room was full of ducks. Hey! Exclaimed the man, I didn't wish for a million ducks, I wished for a million bucks! Yeah, said the bartender, and I wished for a 12 inch penis...

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Why are rich people so rich? they're not poor.

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theres a black guy and a mexican whos driving the cop

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why was their a child on the sun? There wasn't he would be incinerated

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Yo mamma so fat when I searched her on the internet, I got 28,000,000 results

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Yo mamas so fat, when she jumps in a pool she displaces a disproportionate volume of water.

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What did the man with cancer say to the Holocaust survivor? "I have cancer."

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why did the guy with cancer die? because he had cancer

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how many blonds does it take to screw in a lightbulb? one, because she is an intelligent and capable woman

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how do you fit 100 jews in a car? 2 in the front seat, 3 in the back seat, and 95 in the ash tray.

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Why couldn't the black man get a high-paying job? because he lived during the harsh and cruel times of slavery.

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My computer will die soon, and my life is a lie. Refrigerator.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Roses can also be white And violets can also be purple

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Wha'ts the funniest joke in the world? Written.

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There is a terrorist attack. Muslims are blamed for it.

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Knock Knock Who's there The military. We're under attack. The military we're under attack who? Dinos

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do you know what happened to the bravest warrior in the battle who got stabbed in the foot while trying to rescue puppies from a burning building and dying children? well he took the children and puppies home, and ate them. then the SWAT came in and killed him. so yeah... oh... suck my a s s barf

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Why'd the blonde jump out the window? To kill herself

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Did you hear about that man who ate 17 cheeseburgers?! I didn't.

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why shouldn't you get a clown angry? Because they'll yell at you.

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You can buy me a rose, and if I love roses, that rose would make me happy, you can buy me a large house by the ocean, but if I do not like big empty spaces and dislike the sea, it would make me sad. I am no longer sure what would make me happy, so no.

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Why did hellen keller's dog kill itself? You would to if your name was, AIIEEEEIUUUUHGH!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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