Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's DEAD!

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This made my day: The Japanese verb "to drink" is "nomimasu". [L]

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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What happened to the jew that donated? Stop thinking, jews dont donate.

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What did the cow say to the other cow when the boy asked him for something to drink? Probably MOOO! Considering that cows cant say anything except for that

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Domonic is a gay homo!!!!!!!!!!!! Vagina

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What's funnier than a pile of dead babies? One crawling out of the bottom licking its lips.

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How do you flatten a worm? Feed it to a little boy, and then drop a refrigerator on him.

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What did the human say to the human? You are a human.

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What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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How do you keep an idiot in suspense..............

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56

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What color is red paint? Red

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A: Want to hear a funny joke? B: Nah, I'm okay

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Q: why is the squirrel stuck in the tree? A: because he should have finished high school.

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms; *knock knock*, Who's There? Not Sally.

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What comes after 69? mouthwash

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How do you stop someone from getting cancer? Kill them.

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a older brother and a lil brother have bunk beds, one night the older brother has his gf sneak over, they are going to have sex. he tells his gf, "say lettace for a new positon and say tomato for stop", they start and she screams, "lettace, tomato, lettace, tomato". then the lil brother says " will you guys stop making salad, ur getting mayonase all over my face!!!!"

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How do you get a clown off of a swing? You throw an axe at its face.

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What do you call Chuck Norris when there is a bullet inside of him? Dead.

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roses are red violets are blue i have no money could i have some

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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