Why couldn't my grandpa use a cell phone? He didn't have hands.

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Q: What did the monkey say to the parrot? A: I like trains so feed me bananas!

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What do black people do with M&Ms? They eat them.

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Oh please! Come on! Those that got to us where mostly Russians remember? And what where my parents? (if you do not know you might have guessed it by now) I found a guy that looked about the same as me, messed him up and put my jacket on him, I do not die that easily. Anyway, id explain more, but I have been without these fucking painkillers so long that I am talking trash on this stupid site again... Seriously the pain I am used to, but this addiction on painkillers is a bitch... (shedog if censor got a hold on it) But it turns out I cant sleep without them, sleep just does not come anymore, so Ill go get some now. Who are you by the way? I am Nero7, Aka Axel Knight.

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What do you call a mexican who works at a landscaping business? A hard working man who is trying to provide money for his family

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Go fuck yourself.

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Bare with me here, im gonna change this up a bit What's better then finding a worm in your apple

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today at school... I learned about all the core subject plus the additional electives.

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What do you call a bicycle that likes threesomes. A tricycle

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What's worse then being HIV positive? Catching the cold the next day.

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a gay guy is in a club, from across the room he sees another attractive man with now shirt and he gets an erection.

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You know what they say about a guy with big feet? He wears large socks and has big shoes.

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Why was the fat guy so sad? Because he knew he would die sooner or later, just like every other human being

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A man walks into a bar, he then falls unconscious and driven safely to the hospital.

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Excuse me waiter! What the hell is this fly doing on my soup? I believe it's swimming on it, sir.

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When life gives you Corn Nuts, snack on them while watching your favorite TV show. Then go to sleep early and have a nice, peaceful rest, dreaming about the fun things you'll do tomorrow.

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why wasnt johnny in math class?....he slipped and cracked his skull on his way there, he is now recovering at the hospital

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Q: How many babies does it take to paint a house? A: That depends how hard you throw them... Q: Whats worse than 10 babies nailed to 1 tree? A: 1 baby nailed to 10 trees...

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Gays always seem happy wonder why Straights complain to much

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how do you upset an obese cat? you put her in dog sweaters

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A Muslim walked into a bar....nothing happened

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Q:How can you tell an asian has just robbed your home? A: You took the necessary precautions to purchase a very high quality security system and you caught the whole thing on tape, and the man was arrested.

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Q: What did the two muffins say in the oven? A: OMG we are in an oven, "OMG a talking muffin"

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So there we were, climbing Mount Kjerag and we take a break. So I decided to tell you a joke. "Isn't this nice, just hanging around? See it's funny because we're suspended over 1000 metres in the air by our harnesses, except that you're not because I cut yours and now you're falling and you're gonna die." But I had done all that before I told you the joke so you didn't hear me and now I'll have to cut my harness and try to catch up to you so I can repeat myself. Great job, ya prick.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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