The only hand that can beat a royal flush is Chuck Norris's hand

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What did Santa say when he fell down? Ouch

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Whats worse than forgetting some thing at the supermarket? your nuts being nail gunned to the wall.

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What happens when you bite the head off of two animal crackers and make them play leap frog? Nothing. Quit playing with your food.

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Why did the blind man drown? Because he couldn't swim.

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If a blonde and a brunette fell off a building, who would hit the ground first? Answer: Newton's Law dictates that they would hit the ground at the same time.

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Wanna know something funny? Your face

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Q: How did the black man own the Lamborgini? A: He was 2 Chainz.

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what do mexicans need to survive............. a truck load of herowin and BOARDERS!!!!!!!!

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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Your mother is so dumb, that she had a very poor ACT composite score.

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Chuck Norris is so strong that he could bench almost 250 pounds in his heyday.

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He had no distinguishing characteristics whatsoever.

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why did the chicken cross the road? becuase he wanted to walk and the road was the only available place to do so

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was suicidal.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being held for random.

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What do cats eat for breakfast? Cat food.

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WWII veteran screamed! "You damn yellow monkey" "But sir......my fur is brown!" Replied the monkey.

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Do you like apples? Yes

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Why did the fish but the house Because it wanted to eat the house

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What's yellow and can't swim? A bulldozer

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Vote this down and get DOXED

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Let's play twenty questions. Alright, but I have to warn u I have piss running down my leg

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Yeah, I assumed so, but I got kinda worried at the same time. Huh... The catchthing says trolololol, no coincidence at all huh? Anyway, take that last comment Nero, I am spent.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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