Friend: "yo momma is so fat........ Me: My mom is dead

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A black man, a small child, and a priest were all standing in line. They were all checking in the hospital after being in a 3 car pileup

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A man walks into the bar and ask the bartender for a shot of vodka. He drinks the vodka.

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knock, knock come in

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What's black and white and in the desert? Tourists being held hostage by a tribe.

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An itsy bitsy spider went up the water spout Down came my dick, and forced the spider out

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A man goes to a Korean-owned dry cleaner to pick up his suits. They were impeccably cleaned at a reasonable rate.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Getting raped..

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What do you get when you cross a zombie with a beer? Nothing because zombies are just another subject dealing with the occult.

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How do you drown a blond girl? Forcibly hold her head under water until it enters the lungs and prevents the absorption of oxygen leading to cerebral hypoxia and myocardial infarction.

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I once ate at a restaurant where the food was so bad that the chef's name was Earl.

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What happened to the alcoholic? He got liver cancer

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what happened the magic tractor?..... it turned into a field

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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Q: Whats black and green and goes 100 mph? A: A black and white car going 100 mph.

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Knock knock How is ? Bond ,James Bond!

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Joke- Blah Blah Blah, punch line -LOL -Shut the hell up

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, sorry i gave you Herpes type 2.

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What's long and hard and full of semen? An erect penis at the climax of an orgasm.

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a jew walks out of a furnace

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Six hats walk out of a garden. When mustard offal fruit paps.

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A student goes up to the teacher because he has to go to the washroom. The teacher tells him that he has to sing the ABC's before he can go. So the boy sings, "ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ." The teacher said he did a perfect job and could go to the washroom. The boy went on to become a billionaire. Congrats!

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A duck walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender realizing this is an odd situation, seeing that ducks cannot articulate the English language, realizes he must be dreaming. He wakes up and turns to tell his wife about the dream, but she won't respond. He then realizes how his marriage is in shambles...

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What do you give a Penn State waterboy for Halloween - Candy

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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