A man walks into a bar. He gets drunk, goes home, and beats his wife and kids.

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Why did the unicorn cross the road? i dont know. unicorns arent real

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You are in an airplane, and you have 500 bricks. You throw one out the door. How many do you have? 499. What are the 3 steps to putting an elephant in a fridge? 1-open the door,2-put the elephant in,3-close the door. How do you put a giraffe in the fridge? You open the door, take the elephant out, put the giraffe in, and shut the door. The lion king is having a party for all the animals… which one didn't go? The giraffe, it's in the fridge. An old lady is trying to cross an alligator infested river. She makes it over. How? The alligators are at the party. She dies anyway. How? She gets hit by the brick you threw out of the window.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Tim. Tim who? Tim Smith.

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Yo mamma's so fat, at her last annual checkup her attending physician informed her that if she did not attempt to control her weight gain through a careful moderation of her diet and began exercising on a regular basis, that her obesity would soon manifest itself in a variety of chronic health conditions that would permanently alter her ability to enjoy life and could significantly decrease her lifespan.

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Rebecca Black just died, she walked into a stadium and was overwhelmed by the amount of seating choices.

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How many women does it take to arrange my new Ethan Allen furniture? Just one, I was told it was divorce present. She took it with her.

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The other day a male African American approached me in a less than reputable neighborhood after dark and inquired as to whether or not I had a dollar which I could spare. I politely told him I didn't and apologized. He forgave me and we went our seperate ways.

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Womens Rights.

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you're so stupid, you have trouble understanding what you read, like the newspaper, for example

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Guest-knock knock (silence) Guest-hello is anyone there? no go away Guest-looks like there is no one here lets leave

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Me and my wife set and watch the eleven o'clock news every night. My wife always thinks that she has the different disease that is mentioned each day. One night she was practically in tears telling me that she had the disease that was talked about that night. I looked at her and said "honey, there is no way that you have testicular cancer. You don't even have testiculars." The End

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A Hispanic, a Caucasian, and an African American walk into a bar. The bartender says, "What is this, some kind of a joke?"

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Who has a higher pitched voice than the average man? A woman.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? a fridge was thrown at her

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She is a woman.

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What's the thing that freaks guys out the most? When you're about to have sex with a girl and it turns out she had a penis and it's bigger than yours

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What do you call the branch of Science that separates the organism's race? RACISM

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What did the us reporter say? nothing as his head was in a isis members bin

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What's my name? I don't know i was asking u.

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How many lesbians does it take to change a lightbulb? One. But after she does this, se will probably have sex with another woman

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Roses are red, Violets are unicorns, This s h i t doesn't make sense, Refrigerator.

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"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. "For Christ's sakes, Grandma, put your pants back on!"

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why is 6 afraid of 7 7 is a registered sex offender

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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