I pooped my pants

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How Do Bulls Drive Cars? They cant, they have hooves making it impractical for a Bull to Drive a car.

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How do you get someone off a swing? ask them politely.

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What do you get when an elephant and a pig have baby? Nothing, mating between animals must take place between animals of the same species, thus making it impossible to cross these two animals

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A fat guy eats a twinkie.

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What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup? Everything.

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How can you tell if a dog is under your chair? Look under your chair

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I have aids

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Why was little Johnny crying? He is regularly raped by his father.

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Why's Jeds head so big? Curley wurly.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: He was being taken to the slaughter house

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A: What time is it? B: Half past six.

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how many niggaz dose it take to fit in al lightbolb?? 36 ahahahh yall deez nutz

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Past, Present and Future walk into a bar. It was tense...

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What did the father tell his son who was caught stealing from the teacher? --The father didn't say anything because he walked out on his family when the children were born.

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Q. What do you call Lebron James on a roller Coster? A. A man who makes a lot of money and decided to take his family out on a family fun day to an amusement park.

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Why can't you get a pterodactyl use the bathroom? Because they're extinct.

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Roses are blue Colton is gay

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a man walks into a bar the other man ducks

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Hey I just met you, and this seems crazy. I have Alzheimers... Hey i just met you.

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A dog walks into a bar, the bartender asks, "why the long face?" The dog replies, "because I am a dog you idiot, my face always looks like this"

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Why did phil krahn go to the store? To get one of those suits

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No, we got to speak now, or you know, never.

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What's the difference between a ferrari and pile of dead babies? I don't have a ferrari in my garage.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops