Whats the difference between a horse and glue? Nothing

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Q: What do you call an exact duplicate of Homer Simpson who's been enhanced with numerous special powers and a strength-boosting inducer among other beneficial additions? A: A mobidly overweigth individual who hasn't realized what the phrase, "Go on a diet", even denotes/implies.

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The baby started screaming in the dead of night. It woke up his mother, but his father did not be woken by it. why? Because the father left the mother some time ago, and emigrated to Australia with a new girlfriend, who is incidentially a model, and therefore he could not have heard hs child scream whilst on the other side of the world. His new girlfriend dosen't like him.

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the baby fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the koala.

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Why are all of the cars in the left lane? Because you are in Winona MN.

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What's a good joke? Not this one.

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What was the black kid carrying when he was running down your street? His television set

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Kevin was very nervous going into his job interview. So he pretended he was a salad and ate himself.

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a blond goes into a taxi, the driver asks where to my friend , the blond says her desired location, gets droped off and trips, falls on her head, suffers major injuries, dies,weeks later the taxi driver drove the family to the funeral, they walk out and one of of them trips and gets back up...

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what do you call some one with no arms and no legs? names.

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Your mom is so old that she has a lot of wrinkles because that's what happens to people when they get old.

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How many blondes does it take to change a diaper? About a thousand

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A blond walked into a bar. A guy picked her up and then they had sex.

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Why did the squirl eat the accorn? Because he enjoys it.

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Q: Why did the plane crash? A: Because the pilot was a loaf of bread

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What did the man say to his wife? Go make me a sandwich!

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How did the boy break his hand? He slammed it in a car door.

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What'd yellow and can"t swim. A black person with a yellow shirt on.

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A duck walks into a bar, guess what the bartender does............ GIVES HIM A SEAT AND 6 FREE SHOTS! But instead of that the bartender promptly escort the duck out considering the fact that in all bars there is a no animal and/or pet policy so the duck went... and commitid a series of loud noises before he got to a hotel and hung itself, that is what any depressed hungover duck would do.

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knock knock. Who's there? Jehovah's witness. *Door Locks*

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Now that I'm of age to go clubbing, I feel sorry for the seals.

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Who is Dank? A: Billal

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? It was simply tired of being mocked and judged by society.

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There is a secret society known as Grandma Elbow. What happened to the boy who tried to leave it? All of his limbs were ripped off and fed to a man eating shark by the name of Nigel Tommy Baker. It didn't hurt that much because the boy was forced into eating the waste products of a donkey before this happened. NEVER LEAVE GRANDMA ELBOw!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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