How do you keep a secret? Kill yourself.

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How do you make 5 lbs of fat look good? Draw a smiley face on it.

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What do you call a kid with one leg and an eye patch? Names

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What's black, white, and red all over? Half of a dalmatian.

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What do you get when you cross a joke and a rhetorical question?

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3 guys were caught trespassing in a field and were sent to jail. The cop asked the first guy, "What were you doing in the field? He replied, "I was blowing bubbles" The cop asked the second guy, "What were you doing in the field?" He replied, "I was blowing bubbles" The cop then asked the third guy, "Lemme guess, you were blowing bubbles too? The guy replied, "No silly, I am Bubbles!"

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Your mom is so fat that she is at risk for type two diabetes.

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Its april fools day and a women is in labour and has to rush to the hospital. Her husband couldn't make it so it is just the doctor and her in the delivery room. 4 hours of labour go by and complications arise. 12 hours later she gives birth toa beautiful baby boy. The doctor wipes the baby off and goes to hand it to her but then suddenly pulls it back and kicks it a cross the room. The mother screamed "my baby boy!" and the doctor smiles and says "April fools! It was already dead!"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? No reason.

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A black guy and a white girl are having sex. The white girl screams "I'm pregnant!!!!" The black guy says "i'll help you take care of it" "I love you sweetie and nothing will come between us"

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I slipped and fell in the shower today. Good thing my dad caught me

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wouldnt it be ironic if chuck norris was shooting blanks

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what do you call a kid with no legs and no arms some one who will nevaer forfill there bucket list cause they cant write it

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Girls Lacrosse.

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whats a cross between michael jackson and arnold shwarzanegga? Michaelwasanigga

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead, ok!

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minorities

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A man walks into a bar with a monkey. I forgot the rest but you mom is a whore

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What did the black man do to the white woman? I Dont KNow ask him

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WHAT? FRIENDS? DID YOU NOT READ MY QUICKFUCK PROFILE? Likes: Orgies. Favorite color: Pussy. Description:Looking for women with vaginas (maybe an asshole is fine too) Please, I am a womanizer, of course we are friends, heck I am even romantic, you know romantic as in... Uh... Well, maybe not my rose bud... (because that did really not appear at the solve media right now)

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Just happy you are back Nero, I have no idea what a proxy is but I am at my mum`s place, is everything alright between us now?

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Two cannibals were eating a man, one at the top and one at the bottom. The cannibal at the top said, "are you having fun down there?" The cannibal at the bottom said, "yeah, I'm having a ball!"

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The Below statement is an antijoke. The Above statement is a joke.

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How many men does it take to change a light bulb? One.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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