Why did the chicken cross the street? Because it followed the trail of bird feed strewn across it.

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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Knock Knock Who's There? The I.R.S.

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A seal walks into a club...and is taken in custody by animal control due to the club having a no animal policy.

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The Charlotte Bobcats

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Why didn't the girl take her hairbrush to school? She has cancer and all her hair fell out.

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A man visits his doctor for an annual checkup. "Doc, I feel great! I'm running 5 miles a day, I just got promoted at work, and sex with my wife has never been better!" A few weeks later, his doctor calls him in. When he arrives, the doctor looks at him grimly. "I have some bad news. You have lung cancer." "But how? I don't smoke. My wife doesn't smoke. I have never felt better." The doctor pats him on the back, reassuringly. "This may be true, but you still have lung cancer."

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I have an idea! You leave.

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why did the nazi eat the jew? He didn't

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Wife: Do you know what the most untruthful lie I've told you? Husband: What? Wife: That I love you. By the way I'm leaving you for your father. The twins are gay and in love with each other and your daughter is a hooker with AIDS. Your mother killed herself upon hearing all this news. She suffered a lot. Oh, the dog died by rat poisoning that your dad put in the backyard. Bye.

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A black man walks into a bar with a lovely parrot on his shoulder. The bartender asks "hey where did you get that Africa says the parrot...

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it wanted to.

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A man walks into a bar and sees an attractive blonde. He is afraid of talking to her so he goes home and masterbates himself to sleep.

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sorry son your nanas been put down

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What state is round on both ends and high in the middle? Ocoloradoo.

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What do you call a cow climbing a tree? Amazing. How many cows have you seen climbing trees?

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Shoulda had a V8 ...or not because I am severely allergic to tomato's.

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Oh my God! A talking dog!

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What do you call white trash Garbage

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What do you call a shattered lightbulb? A hazard that should be taken very seriously.

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Why did the boy cry? His Parents died.

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Whats more annoying than listening to another arrow in the knee joke? bink2w32.dll is missing from your computer.

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Why is there no Asprin in the rainforest? Because it's financially viable to sell pharmesuticals in the vast, unpopulated rainforest.

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As we had been trying for some months now, I called my wife to ask her the result of her pregnancy test. A stranger answered and promptly told me she was killed in a car crash.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops