Hi my name is Bob and I have Alzheimer's. Hi my name is Bob and I have Alzheimer's.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What happens when Helen Keller plays badminton? She doesn't win because she threw out her back playing Ultimate Frisbee the weekend prior.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What's worse than 100 babies tied to a tree. 1 baby tied to 100 trees

thumb_up thumb_down -18

(A man in a dark van pulls up)... Hey kids can you come help me find my puppy? The kids get in the car and they find the puppy in a near by park. The kids are then safely returned home.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was stapled to a donkey

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do you call a shoe with milk in it.... A milk shoe....

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's worse than hitting your thumb with a hammer? Getting your spine ripped off

thumb_up thumb_down -7

How many pumpkins can you fit in a watch? Depends how much jelly is in the pumpkins

thumb_up thumb_down +37

finding nemo didnt make sense how could a shark go on a no fish diet

thumb_up thumb_down

How do you make a plumber sad? You kill his family!

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I am homeless, Can I have some food?

thumb_up thumb_down +4

You stink so bad that you should cleanse yourself via shower and/or bath.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A tree walks into a bar and the bartender asks "why the log face?".

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Roses are red Violets are blue I've got to say I hate you!

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Factors that can increase your risk of prostate cancer include: Older age Being black Family history of prostate cancer Obesity My friend's grandfather is black and obese, his 70th birthday is tomorrow and his dad died of prostate cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Chuck Norris didn't count to infinite twice. He can't even do it once.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

your mama is so fat that she weighs 261 pounds.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

why did the first monkey fall out the tree? he was dead why did the second monkey fall out the tree? he was hit by the first one why did the third monkey fall out the tree? peer pressure why did the fourth monkey fall out the tree? he thought it was a game

thumb_up thumb_down -10

did you hear about the platypus that was found dead in the middle of death valley?

thumb_up thumb_down +37

How many Jews can you fit in a Volkswagen Bug? Four in the seats, twenty six in the ash tray, and thirty in the gas chamber.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What do you call a fly with no wings? Disabled

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Whats the square root of x^2? Variables cant be gay

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Cripples are lame.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What can fly, but can not swim? Malaysia Airlines Flight 370

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops