who lives in a pinaple under the sea? japanesse people!

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What's worse than anti-joke.com? Non-anti-joke.com! Louis

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whats the difference between a Jew and a piece of pizza? pizza doesn't scream when its in the oven.

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What do a jew and a black have in common? God hates both of them

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What did the doctor tell the boy with no arms or legs? I'm sorry, you have terminal cancer.

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How do you scare a plumber? Kill his family.

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What looks like a rainbow but isn't seen in the sky? A drawing of a rainbow

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A bear walks into a bar. The bear is then shot by the bartender with the shotgun kept under the counter.

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What did Johnny get for Christmas? Drugs, Johnny was a convicted drug dealer, age 19.

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Why did the cookie go to the doctors? It didn't because cookies are Inanimate and are incapable of mobility

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What happened to the fish? It drowned

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What's the difference between a woman? Apart from the differing reproductive systems and body organs, women are characterized by a need to create food.

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What did the dog say to the rabbit? I quite liked Prince's first album.

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So a black man steals a bike Because it was unlocked, and that was just poor planning.

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Why was the accountant sad? He just watched his wife have consensual sex with another man.

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John had 32 candy bars. He ate 28 of them. What does John have now? daibetes, john has diabetes.

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Why did the washing machine laugh? Because it took the piss out of the knickers!!!!! :)

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Someone said you sound like an owl Who?

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I went to the opticians to get my eyes checked. The optician said "you need glasses".

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How did Billy tip the cow? He didn't, cows are animals and that would be wrong.

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what smells like a rose bud? a rose, bud.

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This guys grandma comes to live with him. While shes there she has a stroke. He rushes her to the hospital and waits for her to come out of surgery. The doctor comes out and says "i got good news and bad news" The guy says " give me the bad news" the doctor says "your grandma has had a massive stroke and wont be able to go to the bathroom by herself or eat by herself, so you'll have to feed her baby food and change her Diaper for the rest of her life." So then the guy goes " well crap whats the good news" The doctor goes "Ahh im just kidding she died"

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A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

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What color is my lamp? Brown

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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