Man 1: youre going to die Man 2: why? Man 1: everyone dies

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What did Buzz say to Woody? A lot. There were 3 movies.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Your mama so fat she often lays awake at night wondering if your father is happy with their sex life. He isn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the black man take the watermelon? Because he bought it, and watermelons are delicious.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did the young girl with leukemia say to a stranger? I am afraid

thumb_up thumb_down -11

So Lindsay Lohan walks into a jewelry store. She buys a $2,500 necklace and goes on her way.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

i love huge wieners.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

how does wasabi stay open during summer because tiffany is a nice person

thumb_up thumb_down -4

An alphabet walks into the post office and asks for a letter. What does the postal worker give the alphabet? Nothing. Alphabets can't walk.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Nicki Minaj walks into a bar... there's no punchline because ruining music isn't funny.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

what is the difference between 10 and 3 7

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Q: Whats the difference between a watermelon and a infants head? A: One is fun to beat a with a hammer, and the other is the infants head.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? As much as it is capable of. Personally depends on the weight of the wood.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What's worse than a dead baby? 2 dead babies

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Q: A woman is hit by a motorcycle. Whos fault was it the motorcyclist's or the woman's? A: It was the motorcyclist's fault. He shouldn't of been riding his mortorcycle in the kitchen while she was making my sandwich.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why was the boy considered a bitch? His name was Jason Jubin

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Roses are Red Violets are Blue I got to go now Gonna take a poo.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

what has 4 legs three eyes and a horn? a:yo mama

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he (assuming he bears male reproductive organs) saw some corn on the other side (using the light rays refracted primarily by his cornea onto the retina) which is his staple diet as he is a herbivorous chicken. As corn is the producer of the food chain in question and the chicken is the primary consumer, a fox being the secondary and an angry farmer being the tertiary, he needs to ingest this food source in order to obtain the glucose required to produce adenosine triphosphate by the process of aerobic respiration in the mitochondria of his chicken cells. Thus, the chicken crossed the road.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

You know what they say about men with large feet? Large shoes.

thumb_up thumb_down

what do you call a black man that sells drugs

thumb_up thumb_down

What's the difference between a woman with an IQ of 160, and a man who is mentally challenged? The woman wasnt premature and abused from an early age.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

there are 2 sausages in a pan. one sausage says "wow it's hot in here" and the other sausage says "MY GOD A TALKING SAUSAGE!!!!"

thumb_up thumb_down -7

5

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops