If life gives you lemons, get some seeds from them and plant them. Then in a few years you'll have a lemon tree. Then take some lemons off that tree and throw them at people saying "Here's your stupid lemons, people".

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was being chased by a pack of wolverines and decided the best idea was to run away, and this decision just happened to involve him crossing a road.

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A black man, a Mexican man and a white man walk into a bank. The black man reaches into his bag and pulls out his bank card, the Mexican and the the white man do the same as they need to withdraw money.

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Why was the woman worried? She was coughing up blood

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A white horse walks into a bar and orders a bitter. The bartender says "Hey, do you know we've got a drink named after you?" The horse says; "Eeek! A talking cow."

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Whats the difference between a dead baby and a porsche? i don't have i dead baby in my garage. That would be wrong

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My brother found snow in his hair from last year... only people who know me know this joke!!haha -sopie

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What do people in Asia do for black history month? Nothing, black history month is an American thing.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because a tree fell on her. Knock Knock Who's There? Not Sally...

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What do you call 100 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A good start

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Why can't basketball players play hockey? Because hockey and basketball season occur at the same time.

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Q:what has legs but may never walk? A: a table

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Q: Why did Katie fall off the swing? A: She had no arms. Knock, Knock Who's There? Not Katie.

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I added ICE to WKD it was WICKED

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Your mom is absolutely pefect. This makes me love HIM.

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Roses are red, Violets are glorious, Don't try to surprise Oscar Pistorius!

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A man sees Bill Murray at a restaurant in Los Angeles and tells his friends about the incident. They believe the story, because it is entirely plausible that it actually happened.

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Q: What did the diddler say to the little boy? A: Can i touch you inappropriately?

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What do you call a cat up a tree in a party hat? A cat up a tree with a party hat

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Q: What is scarier than the boogie man? A: Herpes

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Why did John get hard? He froze to death

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What did the aliens say when they first landed on planet Earth? We've come back for Anthony Davis.

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Why was the little girl blowing bubbles in the swimming pool? Because she was drowning

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Q: What do you call a black pilot? A: A pilot, you racist

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops