What did the homeless man get for Christmas? He got many things, because everyone felt bad for him. Someone even brought him into their house so he could have Christmas dinner. On Christmas Day someone gave him fifty dollars to spend on food for his family. Only thing is, he didn't have a family.

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Ask me if I'm on a horse. Are you on a horse? Yes, are you on a horse? No. Oh...

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Why is the chicken on the road? Cuz he died trying to get to the other side.

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Why can't Scrillex fish? Because He is too busy to practice fishing.

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Don't make my new Nazi friend upset, or he'll be Fuhrerious

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A father walks in on his kid masturbating to pictures of horses and promptly divorces his wife.

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what do you call a white and black girl 69? ying yang

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Why did the plane crash Because Joe diragi is so fat

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How do you keep an italian from talking? You duct tape his mouth.

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Q:what do you call a black guy with a gun A:racial equality in our nations armed forces

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A) why did the black guy leave the bar B) cause he was tired and wanted to go home

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your mom is so fat that when she walks in America with a yellow coat as they get a taxi

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two men are having a conversation a third man walks what does he do? patiently waits as to not seem rude.

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speak now or forever hold your pee

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Guess what i just did. Master bait.

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Fuck yourself you piece of shit.

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What's the difference between a bowling ball and a sorority girl? You could always eat the bowling ball if you really had to.

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How do you stop a rhino from charging? Kill it

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What do pebbles and Batman have in common. They're both pebbles. Except Batman.

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One night you tell your mom to make you a sandwich, the next day in school you ate a delicious peanut butter and jelly sandwich for lunch

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Why did grandma drop the dish? She had a heart attack and died, falling to the ground and thus bringing the plate with her to the floor.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a truck!

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An Irishman, an Englishman, and a Scottishman walks into a bar. They had a good time.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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