What did the man with Alzheimer's get for Christmas? Happy New Year!

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How many ecotards does it take to change a light globe? Ve Vill Change all ze light globes to use;less grey vuns and you vill luv it or else ve vill kill you to save ze planet

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What do you call a black man who has become a millionare? A financhaly successful buisnessman who worked hard to be where he is today.

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what did the fish say when he was eaten by a shark nothing fish cant talk

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks him what he wants to drink. He orders a beer.

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What did the Mexican say to the Black guy? Nice to meet you Mr. President. I'm Antonio Villaraigosa, the Mayor of Los Angeles.

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Guess what? You just lost the game.

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How many blacks does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None we have mexicans for that

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What is a pirates favorite crime? Piracy, which is still a serious problem in today's society.

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What's round, has two hands, and tells time? Some fat guy I know, with a watch.

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Have you ever watched that show on Lifetime about that woman?

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What did the farmer say to the woodchucks chucking his wood? Excuse me, not to be rude but i worked very hard splitting and stacking that wood and would appreciate it if you would stop throwing it in the water.

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sandwich. roller coaster. brain sprout. cholera, meander. time. rivet.porcupine. mayonaise. frying. x-ray forever.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Knock Knock I said, who's there? KNOCK KNOCK OH MY GOD, WHO IS IT??? Yes, we have your daughter here, she was caught doing drugs on school property.

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q: what do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex? a: sex, just like everyome else calls it

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What do you call a girl who disappears on the 3 May 2007? Madeleine McCann

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Roses are red my name is Dave this poem makes no sense, micorwave

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Your moms so poor that when she went to buy a bag of chips, she couldn't buy the bag of chips, because she didn't have enough money to buy the bag of chips

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How do you kill a blue elephant? How? With a blue elephant gun. How do you kill a pink elephant? How? You hold it's nose until it turns blue, then you shoot it with a blue elephant gun. How do you kill a orange elephant? How? You can't, they don't exist. How do you kill a white elephant? How? You tickle it till it turns pink, then you hold it's noose until it turns blue, then you shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

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What did the mail man say to the resident? I have your mail. Now let's f*ck.

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Why did little Sally drop her ice cream? She got ran over by the school bus

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Three Blondes were walking when they come upon some tracks. The first blonde says they're deer tracks. The second blonde says they're elk tracks. The last blonde says they're moose tracks. While they are all arguing about what type of tracks they are, they get hit by a train.

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what's more interesting than capital gains tax? (there's no answer)

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knock knock your gay

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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