Why did the man kill the hamster? To get to the other side.

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Your mother is so fat that she has diabetes

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what did the penguin use as a napkin? a napkin

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roses are red, violets are red, my garden is on fire

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A guy sitting at a bar was getting really impatient for his drink, so when the bartender asked if everything was fine, he yelled, "No, it's not! Where the f*** is my drink?!" The bartender replied, "I'm not sure what you're asking, 'cause I don't know what letters the asterisks are replacing."

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Q:Whats big, red and eats rocks? A: A big red rock eater

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Knock Knock. Come in.

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how do you wake up lady gaga? you set her alarm for the intended time

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Why do dogs chase squirrels? Beacuse dogs have very low attention spands and also chase cars and cats.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She was deaf and blind.

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what is orange? an orange

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There's 2 cows, one says to the other "What do you think of Mad Cow Disease?" The other says, "I don't care I'm a helicopter"

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A priest, rabbi, and a monk are sitting on a plane. One is in first class, one is in business class, and one is in coach. It turns out they're all going to the same interfaith conference.

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What do you do when your dish washer breaks? divorce her.

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What's worse than reading a bad joke Realizing it's yours.

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Did you know that Helen Keller had a swing set? neither did she.

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A man walks into a bar and the barman says "Why the long face?" And the man replies "I am severely deformed".

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? A Holocaust in your apple.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because animals walking across a paved street is a very common occurrence ever since the industrialization of the modern world.

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Chuck Norris doesn't swim... He never learned

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Ich bin nicht der Anführer

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you walk into a bar Griffin: 'are you ok'

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A car enters a curve. An ice-cream man pops out from a manhole and throws a pine cone to the car.

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A boy asks his father how babies are made. The father responds, "Babies are created via coital sex. A man rhythmically inserts his erect penis into a woman's vagina until he ejaculates. If his semen successfully fertilizes her egg, a baby will slowly grow in her uterus. After roughly forty weeks of gestation, the baby will be born."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops