A man is sleeping and is woken up. What does he say? Why did you wake me up

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How did the man break his arm raking leaves? He fell out of the tree.

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Call me for a good time! 402-805-2412, I do anal!;) -Martini Wyant

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Why did the depressed man commit suicide? Its typical of a depressed person.

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the game

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What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One is fun to smash and the other one is a watermelon.

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Why can't you teach drivers ed and sex ed at the same time in Iraq? The camel would get tired.

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Why did i get some thing to eat? Because i was hungry.

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i had sex i stuck my dick into your mouth

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What's black, white, and red all over? A murdered interracial couple.

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Why did the man die? He helped others before placing his own oxygen mask on.

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Whats worse than a dead baby in a puddle of blood? A dead baby in soup.

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Hickory dickory dock, The mouse ran up the clock, Barbara called the exterminator, Who killed all 10 of them.

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What do you call it when a multiple personality disorder person masturbates? Rape.

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How do you stop a baby from drowning? Take your foot of his head

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What did the mute say to the deaf man?

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Frostbite. He died the following day.

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Two jews walk into a bar. They laugh over a beer and leave

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What's orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot

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Why shouldn't you drink and drive? Because you might hit a bump and spill your drink.

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How do you get babys to paint a house? depends on how hard you throw them

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Why couldn't the girl find a date to the prom? Because she was really, really ugly.

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A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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Grammar ... the difference between knowing your shit, and knowing you're shit.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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