19 cats 33 hamsters 24 turtles and 23 dogs are all in a small cage, PETA is not happy.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How do you punish an electrician? Kill his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

What is Michael Bay's favorite fruit? Melon

thumb_up thumb_down -56

What do 9 out of 10 people enjoy? Gang-rape.

thumb_up thumb_down -83

boy1: whats blue and goes blub blub? boy2:i dont know boy1:a blue blub blub boy1: whats green and goes blub blub? boy2:a green blub blub boy1:no. there is no such thing called a green blub blub

thumb_up thumb_down -10

How do you stop a run-away bus? You sit down in the driver's seat and gently place your foot on the brake pedular and proceed to press it down. The brake pads, located in the calipers, will squeeze the brake discs and slow the bus eventually to stop at the crosswalk for the old lady accompanied by a young boy scout to cross the street and continue their wonderful lives.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Who was the dinosaurs favorite NBA player? He didnt have one. Dinosaurs became extinct far before the NBA was established.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Why did Captain Hook die? He wiped.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

roses are red violet are blu--- blue? violets are violet! weird, isn't it?

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Whats long,hard, and has c.u.m in ig? Cucumber....also my wiener

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why'd the littler girl fall of the swing? because a drunk driver ran through the swing, the little girl was killed. he was later charged with manslaughter.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did billy have a bruse? Because he got smacked with a belt. -Louis

thumb_up thumb_down -20

I started a pottery course where the two instructors looked like Demi Moore and Patrick Swayze. The only other student looked like Whooping Goldberg. This teacher to student ratio proved invaluable as I am hoping to make a living as an artist and really appreciated all the extra attention.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the 16 yearold pregnant girl cross the road? To get to the abortion center

thumb_up thumb_down

whats worse than a baby impaled on your lawn... the universe being consumed by a giant albino ape with over sized testicles

thumb_up thumb_down -33

How much does a Polar Bear weigh? Approximately 500 lbs

thumb_up thumb_down -23

johann grayson being liked

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What do you call a Puerto Rican, a Blonde, and an African woman in a taxi cab? Three people who happen to be traveling to the same location at the same point in time.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What did the white teen say to the black man? Sup nigga. What then followed? A savage beating at which the teen did not survive.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

"It's a blimp, it's a hot air balloon!" "No wait, it's your mom."

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A man and a woman have drunk, unprotected sex, and 9 months later, they have a beautiful baby girl. What did they call her? An accident.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Paul walker: Breaks, stop Breaks: no

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A duck walks up to a lemonade stand and he said to the man running the stand, "Hey! Got any grapes?" The man then realized he was hallucinating because ducks are unable to speak proper english.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

a show horse jumps over a bar

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops