"Really, how is your wife?" "You know she's dead right?" "Cool mine too!" They high five in mid air and lived happily ever after

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Q. What do you get when you put a Jew and Adolf Hitler in the same room? A. Trouble

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what did jake say to the priest? hmmm, salty

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Wanna hear a dirty joke? A pig rolls in the mud.

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What do you call a giraffe without a neck? Dead.

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A marine biologist is captured by a group of violent pirates. After hours of being tortured, the pirates make him walk the plank. As he is pushed on to the plank, they ask him for his one last request. He responds "Kill yourselves." The pirates proceed to stab themselves until they bleed out and the marine biologist is the last man on the boat.

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A man looks both ways before crossing the street. He gets hit by an airplane.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because there happened to be road in the vicinity of the fowl and the odds of the bird crossing it is very high.

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What's long and yellow? A yellow tube.

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Why was the little boy reluctant to approach his father? Because his father was a rotting corpse.

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Knock knock SCREW YOU I BUSY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Friends are a lot like trees I just thought you should know.

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Fun Fact getting married to your first cousin is legal in CT... bet you thought there was joke coming right about now..........

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Sex vagina. lol.

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Knock knock. Who's there? I am. I am who? I am pregnant.

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The man and the women were doing something. What are you looking? They just talked

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What did the white guy say to the black guy wearing a black T-shirt? That's a very nice shirt.

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why did the kid let go of his kite? He got struck by lightning

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A man walks into a bar. He enjoys a few quiet drinks with friends before returning home to his loving family.

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How did 6-year old dyslexic boy start his essay on soap? Sopa is shit...

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Two scientists walk into a bar. One says "I'll have H20", the other says "I'll have a beer." The first one is the one to drive them to their homes.

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A man told his wife to go make him a sandwich. She said no.

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We start counting at 1, therefore 0 is countless. I've slept with countless women.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken had just received a call from his family, hearing that his father had just been butchered. He was approaching the farm when an 18-wheeler approached. The tire flew off, hit a candy store, candy flew in the chicken's mouth, and it died of diabetes. However, right before the chicken died he finally crossed the road, not knowing he would get shot by his farmer. The chicken managed to survive the shooting to his right kidney, wiggled to his family, and died in front of his wife.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops