What is red and fluffy?... Your teddy bear covered in blood...

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Yock

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Why didn't Betty ride her bike to school? She had no legs.

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Why did Sally fall off the swingset? She had no arms. Knock ,Knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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What do you call a large group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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Why did Emily fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Emily.

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What is white, long, and thin? A tablecloth

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A man walks into a bar. His crippling alcoholism is tearing his family apart.

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What's black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender.

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How many ADHD kids does it take to change a light bulb? Let's go ride our bikes!

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What did the Jewish man say to the Shia faction Muslim man? Even though we have different views on god and religion I value your friendship more than my religous views.

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A brown haired woman walks into a clinic and says, "Doctor it hurts whenever I touch myself." The doctor says, "Strange, I have never heard of such a disease. Please show me." The woman touches her leg and screams,"Ow!" Then she touches her arm and screams again. The doctor asks, "Are you a natural brunette?" The woman replies, "No, I am a blonde." The doctor says, "Oh, that explains it. You have a broken finger. God, you are so blonde." The woman gets her finger treated and then lives in agony for the rest of her life due to her untreated broken leg and arm.

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A jew go out of a bar

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Why are soccer players sad? They couldn't play Football.

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Women. Can't live with them. Can't systemically murder them without compromising the reproductive integrity of the species.

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You can't choose your family, so choose someone else's.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Your mom.

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What do you call a man with short legs? Whatever his name is

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Why did Poppy lose at sports day? Because she had a heart attack and died.

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What happens when you forget your parachute as you jump out of a plane? You wake up.

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-Why was little Johnny sad? >Why? -Because he had a frog stapled to his forehead.

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Why couldn't the black man support his family? He was the youngest child of 3 and already had a caring and supporting mother and father.

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Why did mallisa get to go to the bar instead of jeremy... jeremy has prostate cancer and he needs to be examined every 2 1/2 minuites plus he's 7 years old.

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is this the krusty krab? no this is smooth lobster.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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