It was Valentines Day today, I thought I should get her something... I brought flowers to her grave.

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How did the blonde die? She got swallowed whole by a 1,000-foot scorpion.

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Are you related to Yoda? because yoda-licious!!!!

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Knock Knock Who's there? Gestapos.

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A man walked into doctors and said, “Doctor help! My arms have stopped working” to which the receptionist replied, “I’m not the doctor and you need to make an appointment.”

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he felt like it.

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There is a bus driving down the street, suddenly a man jumps out of the buss and splatters on to the sidewalk, why does he jump out? the buss driver was asian

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How many potatoes does it take to kill an Irishman? None

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Why did the car fall of the cliff? The dude driving the car was driving recklessly.

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Q: What's worse than getting a divorce? A: I don't know, i'm still married.

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A mother with a bum hip and her son go to walk up a set of stairs in the mall. The floor was slippery because the janitor just mopped the floor. They decide to take the elevator instead.

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*Knock-Knock* "Who's there?" "The police, you're under arrest for the murder of your wife and your two children."

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Why did the cookie go to the docter? Because he was dieing of terminal cancer.

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Q: Why did the baby cross the road? A: Because it was stapled to the chicken.

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Mommy, Mommy, I don't like Daddy! Well leave him on the side of the plate and eat your peas instead!

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A woman walks up to a man in a supermarket and asks him where she can find the potatos. He says "I think they are all the way at the end on aisle 3" "Thanks" she says. Then she gets to aisle 3, and there aint no potatos!!!!

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I like toast -my name is Bob and I approve of this message

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Have you ever heard of Yoda? From 'Attack of the Clones'?

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Who is pack bombs and has gum cancer? • Theo Kingdom

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Why did they bury the pope on the side of the hill? Because he is dead

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What do you call a guy who has no experience flying a plane? Suicidal

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Why wouldn't Michael J. Fox make a good Sniper? Because he has no military experience.

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write I if you think we should all yell A when dylan says orange.

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Who is the fiercist Raptor of them all? Matt Daly

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops