how come bob felt 'under pressure'? because somebody dropped a dumpster on him

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A man walks into a bar and the bartender says "Sorry sir we're closed" So the man goes: "Oh, okay. I wasn't sure if you guys were open till' 10pm tonight" and the bartender goes "No, thats only on the weekends" The man thanks the bartender and proceeded to leave the bar. He now knows the arrive earlier the following day.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Sugar is sweet, And so is she.

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There's an african american, a latino, and an asian man riding in the car, whos driving? Obciously one of the three

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Nicki Minaj walks into a bar... there's no punchline because ruining music isn't funny.

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What's the quickest way to a man's heart? A knife.

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A man goes and buys a head of cabbage. The cabbage had a worm in it. When the man saw the worm, he threw out the cabbage and bought a new one the next time he went to the grocery store.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Jeff. I don't know anyone by the name of Jeff. Please leave my property immedaitely.

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How did the little boy die? A speeding moving truck took a sharp turn, the locks on the doors broke open and a huge office desk flew out and crushed the boy.

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How do you kill a blonde woman? Shoot her in the head

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? It wasn't. Six and seven are numbers, and cannot feel emotions such as fear.

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sometimes i take my duck a shower, i always use cold water because if i use hot water it will think im cooking it.

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Is your Alzheimers getting better? I have alzeimers?...

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How do you differentiate a Canadian from an American ? The American will have an American Passport,while the Canadian will have a Canadian passport.

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Whats worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Finding out that that apple was the tip of a dick

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What's the difference between a duck? One of its legs is both the same.

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Why did the black man get sent to prison? He had committed many crimes and was finally caught by the police.

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This little pig went to market, This little pig stayed at home, This little pig had pork chops, And this little pig was GONE...

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you simply have a chicken joke WITHOUT it crossing the road

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A mute man writes a joke that would only be funny to blind people.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Get out".

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how many Alzheimer's patients does it take ti screw in a lightbulb? to get to the other side

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What happened to Johnny when he tripped over his shoelace? He was shot by the man who was following him.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, your Heart maybe splited into two but, if you love me i would fix it for you

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops