Dislike this.

Ok so 3 guys walk into a bar... the fourth one ran.

if life gives you lemons, you have some lemons

What did the girl fruit say to the boy fruit when he wanted to marry her? "No."

I put the STD in stud now all i need is U

Why did the chicken cross the road? Earlier that morning the farmer's daughter had inadvertently left the gate to the yard open as she was preoccupied by her worry over a maths test set for that day. She hadn't studied for the test as she was still deeply distressed over her fathers recent heart attack. This, coupled with the added burden of household chores now delegated to her because her mother was out trying to get the west field prepared for sowing, had made her quite forgetful and distracted of late. Whilst several chickens escaped, only one strayed so far that it actually encountered the road facing the farm. After crossing the road and gorging itself in a soy-bean crop, the chicken was struck by a furniture remover's van as it attempted to make its way home. Several hours later the dead chicken was spotted by a Community Mental Health Worker who was doing his bi-weekly rural clinic run. The chicken, being a bantam, caught the eye of the Mental Health worker, who was a keen trout fisherman. "Cool" thought the mental health worker- "those feathers will make for excellent trout flies". He stopped and plucked a handful of the most iridescent blue, green and orange feathers and placed them in an envelope. He rolled himself a cigarette, sat on the trunk of his car and admired the clouds. "God, I love this job", he muttered to no one in particular.

If dropped from the same height, which hits the ground first an apple or a baby? the apple because the baby has a rope tied around its neck

I told my grandmother to act her age.... she then died

A dyslexic walks into a bar. He called it a bra because he was dyslexic and dyslexics misspell things. People laughed at him because mental disabilities are inherently humorous to them.

Goats are like mushrooms, If you shoot a duck im scared of toasters

Why was the black man in Jail? He works there as a correctional officer.

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A: Where's my tractor

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Not only did 7 have that intimidating look to him, but 6 had recently found out that he was a well known mob boss who also went by the name of Lucky Seven. he was in charge of a gang called The Prime Numbers. They had been terrorizing 6's city for sometime now, whether it was stealing, mugging, or even killing or vandalism. 6 sure had a lot to fear, but he knew things might turn out well, as 6 had a great ability to try his best and do what he believed in: Justice

What did the mother say when her sons asked for a can of pop? No you have diabetes.

Justin Bieber's Never Say Never 3D came out the other day. I went to see it, and it was a pretty good movie.

Knock, knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo who? Don't cry, it's only a joke. It's not that, my wife and son were just killed in a drunk driving accident.

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: To get to the other side.

what do you call a black man wearing a makeup? A clown

A blonde goes in an electronic store. She buys a TV and leaves.

Whats the difference between a sack of babies and a sandwich? A Sand which floats when you put it into a large body of water.

Whats pink and screaming? a skinned baby in a bucket of vinegar+

What is greater than God, More evil than the Devil, The poor have it, The rich need it, If you eat it, you will die? Madelyns head

fruit salad?

knock knock Get off my porch I've already called the police.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...