What do you do when you have those days where you feel that you go back three damn steps for every step you take towards your goal? DUUUUUH! You turn your back, see? Now you are getting three steps at the right direction for every right one! LOGIC!

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm schizophrenic And so am I

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You want to hear a joke? Democract

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Why don't I understand myself? Because I am an anti-joke and lack a self-aware existence.

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What's black and white and red all over? Nothing.

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A recently engaged couple are having sex. The man finishes in just under 3 minutes as usual. The woman then says "I love you" because they've been together for over 2 years and they care for each other very deeply.

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What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing 'cause you done told the b i t c h twice!

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Ditto, the Slut Pokemon. Ditto is a bisexual f@ggot who will f*ck any Pokemon that moves.

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Black Veil Brides.

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cchina is communist the USA isnt WHY?

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What happens when there is a jew next to you and you are standing on a train track? A train hits you both and you both die.

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You are a special guy, and I mean that in a really sweet way, but a retard no. Synapses, tell me more please.

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How do you make a plumber cry? I'm sorry but our princess is in another castle.

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husband : honey , can i have stuff candy wife : no husband : can i have milk and cookies wife : what kind of milk wink wink husband 2% you pervert

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Guy: If you can guess what's in my hand, you can have it. Girl: If it fits in one hand, you can keep it!

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What did Santa Claus get for Christmas? Santa isn't real.

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Why did Mary punch herself in the stomach? -she was pregnant

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A gay Asian guy walks into a gay bar where he found a fruity looking black man... The Asian went up to the black man and said, " how'r they hanging?" shocked with anger, the black man hits him in the face, knocks him to the ground and said, " YOU DO NOT TALK TO MY FAMILY THAT WAY. BOTH MY GRANPARENTS WERE LYNCHED!!!" the Asian stands up and brushes himself off... He turns to the black guy and says " I meant the balance scale at the table you were were sitting at" the black fellow turns to the table with the notebook and the balance scale with rocks on both sides that he was sitting at... He turns back to the Asian man and apologizes for his rude behavior and buys him a drink... (2 hours later) they have sex

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what do friends and trees have in common? If you hit them with an axe multiple times they fall over

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how do you drown a blonde? strategically place a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of a swimming pool (or just a regular sticker because, quite honestly, they won't be able to tell the difference as the water fills their lungs)

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Friend's are like pinguins, they both die when you stab them in the heart.

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Why did Jack got late to his date? Because he was playing Call of Duty and forgot about the time.

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It's long!

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A flight attendant walks up to a black man on a plane. She then asks if he would like anything to drink.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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