What do you call a guy walking into a bar Dave, because that's his name

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That awkward moment when you walk in on your economics teacher shagging Danii ... Anyone ?

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra!

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What is white and flys at you from a tree? A refridgarator. I lied about the flying part.

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Fun Fact: If you lay out all of the veins in your body out, You will die

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I came home from my doctor`s appointment today, I told my sister that I was diagnosed with The Super rare "Spontaneous Erections Syndrome" (S.E.S) a very rare disease that can seriously impair the victims life in general, especially the social life, as symptoms may show themselves even among friends, pets, grandmas, enemies, and even close family! She told me that everybody knows I a just a kinky pervert with bulge so big it scared girls away instead of attracting them. Excuse me, what the hell is patient confidentiality good for if my doctor is going to call my sister and tell her everything she said to me afterwards?!

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Why did Doris have no control over her bladder? Because she was old and suffered catastrophic incontinence

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Q: What's full of different butts and smells bad? A: An ashtray.

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Why do they call it "Unsweetened Tea?" Did they put sugar in it and then take it back out again?

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Why Americans are so bad at League of Legends? Because they can't defend their towers.

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How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Attack her with a sanding machine.

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what did Santa Claus say to Nikki Minaj? I really admire your musical talents

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Blonde: what does IDK stand for? Brunett: i don't know Blonde: NOBODY KNOWS!!!

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What did one door say to the other door? - Nothing, doors can't talk

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock Whos there Not Susie What did Susie get for Christmas? I don't know , she never opened it. Who high fived Susie? No one Why did Susie die? She got shot in the face

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In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

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A white man a black man a french man and a mexican are on a sinking ship. The French man says "we have too many of these" and throws a bunch of begets over board. The Black man says "we have too many of these" and throws a bunch of red hot cheetos overboard The Mexican man says "we have too many of these" and throws a bunch of Tacos over board. And then the White man says "we have too many of these" and throws the Mexican man overboard

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What do you call a dear with no eyes? A victim of animal cruelty.

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Women Drivers.

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Why did the paraplegic die in a fire? He couldn't get down the stairs.

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Your mom is such a slut, she had unprotected sex at least once.

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What do you call a bus full of white people? A Twinky!!!

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John: Hey Bill, ORANGE you in the mood to go to a Phillies game? Bill: Yes! So let's make like a banana and raise our potassium levels drastically and leave right away to beat the rush hour traffic.

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Why would Jesse Ziegenbein and Terran Hansen make a good couple? Because they both smell like shit and are fat as hell

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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