how do you make a baby float take you foot of its head

Why did the baby cross the road? It doesn't matter. He was hit by a bus.

What happened to the famous musician when he overdosed? He overdosed.

a muslim, jew, and catholic went into a bar and sat down and had drinks. The muslim asks the jew "are you macrobiotic". the jew replies "no" and they go about their fun....

Don't you hate it when you're reading a sentence and it doesn't end how you testicles. _._._

Penis

Enough with the gay jokes, they all go one direction.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he had an appointment with his hair stylist. Just kidding chicken don't have hair.

What's the difference between a pizza and a baby? I don't stab pizza 47 times in the chest with a chainsaw.

What is a cow's favorite drink? Well, I could be wrong and this is just my opinion, but I do not believe that animals experience feelings and, in corollary, favoritism towards anything, particularly regarding basic survival needs, such as hydration.

i punched my mother in the face once she cried

Why did Sally fall of the swing? Breaking news! An 18 wheeler has gone loose and hit a playground damaging a swing, 1 fatality and 16 children injured 5 in critical condition

What's green and apple-y? You're gay.

Your mama's so fat, that at her last annual checkup her attending physician informed her that it would be in her best interest to diet and exercise before her obesity manifested itself in a variety of chronic afflictions that would detract from her ability to lead a long life.

What did the girl with no arms or legs get for Christmas? Cancer .

Roses are red, Violets are blue, You're adopted.

Is J.P. dumb? Yes

Why did Billy Bob kidnap Jamal? Because he finds the African American community fascinating and is unable to start up a regular conversation due to the over-amplified stereotype that rednecks usually kidnap and/or kill black people. Therefore, kidnapping Jamal was necessary so that he could have a conversation with him about his heritage and background.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

why did the man tell a joke? to make people laugh

Father: Son stop masterbating u might go blind Son: But Dad I'm over here

What's the tallest building in the world? A library cause it has so many stories get it haha.

What's the difference between Jesus and a painting? It only takes one nail to hang up a painting.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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