Please don't shoot me

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What did the man say to the orphan? No one loves you, you have no friends.

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Why did the black guy fell from the stairs? Because I threw him

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what did your mom say to you? go fuck your self you stupid greedy shit. you start crying later in your bedroom, then your mom comes with a bag full of your fathers semen, and dildos. and forces you to drink the entire bag.

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There once was a boy walking down the street. He got shot in the head. He died.

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What is the meaning of life? Definitions of life on the Web: a characteristic state or mode of living; "social life"; "city life"; "real life" the experience of being alive; the course of human events and activities; "he could no longer cope with the complexities of life" the course of existence of an individual; the actions and events that occur in living; "he hoped for a new life in Australia"; "he wanted to live his own life without interference from others" animation: the condition of living or the state of being alive; "while there's life there's hope"; "life depends on many chemical and physical processes" the period during which something is functional (as between birth and death); "the battery had a short life"; "he lived a long and happy life" the period between birth and the present time; "I have known him all his life" the period from the present until death; "he appointed himself emperor for life" a living person; "his heroism saved a life" liveliness: animation and energy in action or expression; "it was a heavy play and the actors tried in vain to give life to it" living things collectively; "the oceans are teeming with life" the organic phenomenon that distinguishes living organisms from nonliving ones; "there is no life on the moon" biography: an account of the series of events making up a person's life a motive for living; "pottery was his life"

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A child is watching Saturday cartoons when is father walks in and, the child is aware that the father was on an all night binge and is verbally abused

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Q. What do you call the person that graduated at the bottom of his medical department? A. Doctor

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Whats black, white, and read all over? Micheal Jackson reading a book while painting himself red.

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all hail based mark

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What's the difference between a black man and a pizza? A pizza can feed a family of four.

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How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? As much as it is capable of. Personally depends on the weight of the wood.

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What was the dying Raccoons last words? I don't want to die.

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Yo mama so fat when she sat around the hous she sat AROUND the house

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Q: what's better than ice cream A: not having aids

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Why did the clown fall off the swing? Because he was dead.

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Im So Hood... That When I go Shopping, I Buy Sweatshirts with Hoods

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What did the man say halfway through his sponsored trek across the Sahara desert? Well this was a dumb idea

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like a cammel, lewis stores his weed in his back

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Why did the boy eat his homework? Because he already ate his dog.

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what is worse than finding a dead worm in an apple? Obama being elected a second time

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why did the man stay home on a monday? He was dead.

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way do Japan bomb pearl harbor because America hat sex with China [watch Hetalia]

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What's worse than the Holicost? Bitting into an apple and finding a worm

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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