I bet you read this. Told ya.

Go away nothing to see here,. I said go away

What kind of cookies does a pedophile order from the girl scouts? Samoas...pedophiles love coconut.

What is funny about 9/11. Nothing, it was a tragic day for the world.

Why did the teacher arrive late for class? Because his father had a stroke the night before, and they had to rush to the hospital and because of exhaustion, he missed the bus, and arrived ten minutes late.

what do you do when you see the klu klucks klan ? act white

Roses are red, Violets are violet, hence the name Violets.

How many licks does it take to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop? As many as it takes.

Why did the fortune cookie taste bad? I forgot to take the wrapper off.

Q: What is George Harrison's favorite hairstyle? A: How can we know? He's dead!

why didn't the boy get any presents for his birthday? because when his dad went to the store to get him some presents he ended up buying presents for himself like a huge douchebag.... and the apple doesn't fall from the tree so his son is a douchebag too and doesn't deserve presents.

Knock knock ... KNOCK KNOCK ... I guess nobody's home.

What does a bug do in a telephone booth? Eats yogurt.

One drunk bug looks over to another drunk bug and guess what it says? Your a glitch

A girl asked a guy if he thought she was pretty, He said 'No'. She asked him if he would want to be with her forever. He said 'no'. She then asked him if she were to leave would he cry, Once again, he replied 'no'. She had heard enough. As she walked away, tears streaming down her face the boy grabbed her arm and said.. 'Asking emotionally charged hypothetical questions that are completely irrelevant to the prior conversation can be known as fishing for compliments or reassurance of your value as a human being. Except, your tears seem to reflect a more serious inner emotional neediness. I suggest you seek a psychologist.'

What did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede. (do you get it cause the robot has no arms)

What's the difference between a chicken and a bartender? A chicken is a domesticated fowl, a subspecies of the red junglefowl. As one of the most common and widespread domestic animals, with a population of more than 24 billion in 2003, there are more chickens in the world than any other species of bird. Humans keep chickens primarily as a source of food, consuming both their meat and their eggs. A bartender is a person who mixes and serves alcoholic drinks at a bar. also bar-tender ; 1836, American English,

A cow walks into the butcher shop, he looks around then mourns the loss of his brothers

What would Billy Mays do if he were alive today? Yell.

if life gives you lemonnde your probally halusinating

i like serious. serious means business. business means cash. cash means money. money makes me happy and when i'm happy you dont die

A black guy, a mexican, and a jew walk in a bar. The mexican had to go to the bathroom. He asked the bartender where the bathroom was and she directed him down the hall where he pooped in quietly.

Why did samantha die? Because she had cancer.

One time i was in north philly and bought milk, then i came home and drank it.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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