What part of a vegetable are you not supposed to eat? His wheelchair.

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Q: What did Steve say to his teacher on the first day of school? A: "My name is Steve."

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So a seal walks into a club...

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Q: What are the best kind of jokes? A: The funny ones.

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This is like another one: Terry is at work eating a cookie.. He drops his cookie. His co worker trys to pick it up, however he accidently stands on it. Turns out terry can keep a grudge, nine years later, he killed his co worker with a shovel.

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What is the best way to eat a dead baby? I don't know. That is incredibly disgusting.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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Your mama's so fat her patronus is a cake

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Q. Why did the squirrel cross the road? A. Because it was stapled to the chicken.

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Whats the difference between a rabbit an a eagle? They both fly except for the rabbit

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''thanks for giving me back the money i lent you david''-said nobody

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Whats the difference between a blonde and a sloth? Everything. The blonde is a human being and humans are way different than sloths.

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What is brown and sticky? A chocolate ice cream made with too much margarine and not enough of the ice mixture used to make Mr Whippy

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you just contradicted yourself.

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Why was the blonde fired from the M &M's factory? Her Masters degree in electrical engineering made her overqualified for the job she had.

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What did one deaf mute say to the other deaf mute?

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"hey you know that graveyard down the street." "yeah." "people are dying to get in there."

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wHY DIDN'T THE HORSE FINISH COLLEGE? HIS GRANT RAN OUT AN HE COULDN'T GET ANOTHER STUDENT LOAN.

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What color was the black guy's skin? Brown

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Is your refrigerator running? Go fuck yourself

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scraggle is in you pillow case

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if this joke was a potato, it would be a good potato

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Winking at old people

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What does a homeless man get for Christmas? A gun to kill himself with

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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