What do you call a goose with no arms? A goose

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A plane crashes on the border of canada and america, where do you bury the survivors? I lied there are no survivors and the bodies were incinerated by burning jet fuel so theres nothing to bury.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the boy cross the road? He was visiting his dying grandmother at the hospital.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did the white man hand to the mexican? His college degree because the mexican had completed all four years of college with a 4.0 GPA.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What's the difference between me and a dead baby? I'm not dead, or a baby. I am well into my teens and very healthy.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What's 6 inches long, held in your hand, and has a round tip? A pencil you pervert.

thumb_up thumb_down +100

poopy is poopy

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What did the girl get for her birthday? Nothing...cause she died

thumb_up thumb_down -124

So this guy and his monkey walk into a bar, I forget the rest of the joke but your mothers a whore.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

What's so funny about Mexicans? Nothing. They're all humans too.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Do you like waffles yeah we like waffles do you like pancakes do you like french toast yeah we like french toast dododododod let me get a mouth full. WAFFLES!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q.What do Santa Clause and a grape have in common? A.They both have beards. Except for the grape.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

there are 2 sausages in a pan. one sausage says "wow it's hot in here" and the other sausage says "MY GOD A TALKING SAUSAGE!!!!"

thumb_up thumb_down -44

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting cancer from a horse.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

An Asian walks into a bar with his girlfriend He proceeds to buy himself and her food Pays Then leaves

thumb_up thumb_down -11

haha

thumb_up thumb_down -34

whats worse than finding a worm in your apple getting blow jobed by a giant squirrel

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Knock knock Who's there? Sergeant Sergeant who? Sergeant John Clancy. I regret to inform you that Billy your son has just unfortunately been killed in the electronic fan factory in which he works.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

why did Dayrl win the wheelchair race? Because he had working legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

a hobo begs and begs for a dollar to buy something. a man finally gives him a dollar. what does the hobo buy? nothing. he walked into 711 and got shot.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Q: what's red and goes up and down? A: a tomato in an elevator

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Why did the chicken cross the road? The farmer left his fence open and the chicken happened to cross a road.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Hoverboards are still not available, and it's already October 21, 2015...

thumb_up thumb_down +16

British Dentistry

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops