Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: It was dead Q: Why did the lizard fall out of the tree? A: It was stapled to the moneky

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What's Kanye West's main goal in life? To dash the hopes and dreams of Taylor Swift on national television.

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What did Sally want for Christmas? Nothing, she is Jewish.

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what did the african child get for his birthday? water, it is a very scare resource were he comes from and is considered a great present

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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why was the boy sad? there was a frog stapled to his face.

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Mack: Hello Jonathan: Hi Mack: My name is Mack, what's your name? Jonathan: My name is Billy Mack: You liar! I'm reading this post at anti-joke.com and whenever you reply, your name shows Johnathan! Johnathan: Well Mack, I guess you broke the 4th wall. By the way, this joke is over in 3, 2, 1...

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girl: why do you love me? boy: i don't.

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Why did the black homeowner declare bankruptcy on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by continuing to pay his mortgage bills.

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What's better than winning the special Olympics? Not being retarded.

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how do you kill a blonde?? put a scratch n sniff on the bottom of a pool

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What's a good way to kill time? It's impossible to kill an inanimate object.

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How does an asian man drive? He hops into the car, turns the ignition, slowly accelerates from his parking spot and merges into everyday traffic

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Why is Stevie Wonder always smiling? Because he's rich...

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why did suzy drop her ice cream? she got hit by a bus. knock knock. whos there? not suzy.

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How could you ever watch a man hit another man and say nothing? UFC is on at 9:00pm.

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How do you get someone to paid attention to etys You don't, there is no such thing as retys

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Why was the horse sad? Because it seen a Tesco van in the distance.

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WHY DID THE CHICKEN FART SO LOAD TO GET EVRYYBODY ATENTION

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Q: what did one kangaroo say too the other kangaroo? A: I was told I am schizophrenic.

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I woke up in bed with someone this morning. I forget why this is a joke, but your mother is a whore.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Not a blind guy.

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Why did the man and woman have sex? To have a good time, but the man's condom failed and they ended up with a deformed baby because they were brother and sister. Those are your parents. Enjoy

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If you have ten apples, and I take away three, then you will only have seven apples left, because ten minus three is seven. On the other hand, if I have a hundred apples, and you take away ninety-six, then I will call the police on you because that is stealing and it is not allowed.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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