Why did Suzy fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock... Who's there? Not Suzy.

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What did the black cat say to the tabby cat?? Meow

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What did the unicorn say when he was kicked out of the grocery store? Nothing, dodo birds dont exist

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Q. Why didn't the Hero rescue the princess? A. Because he crunched some numbers, realized the incredible odds against him, and decided against it.

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a man walks into a bar, sits down, sighs and says, "i had the worst day ever." the bartender replies with, "worse than 9/11?" the man then says "well, 9/11 wasn't that bad."

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Why didn't the dog like baseball? Being a dog, it had no idea or interest in what baseball is.

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A horse walked into a bar, and the bartender asked, "Why the long face?". The horse replied, "It's evolutionarily efficient to have an elongated skull so that I can eat vegetation with ease."

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's Where am I

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Yo momma is so fat that she is in the guinness records

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got hit by a truck on the way.

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Thomas the Tank Engine could see Express up ahead on the tracks! His driver shut off steam and applied his brakes. Ahead of him Gordon groaned "Ohhhhh stop your train! Stop your train! His driver and fireman jumped out quickly. Thomas tried his very hardest and eventually found himself slowing down. But there wasn't enough time and Thomas smashed right into the express. Seven people were killed and Thomas himself was smashed to pieces.

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How do you blindfold an asian? With a blindfold.

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what did the bug say when it got ran over by a car? NOTHING, bugs can't talk

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What's utter destruction but still has wheels? A car that was crushed at a junk yard, after the Bridgestone tires were removed for another car that could still use them

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Why did the mexican cross the street? Because the next lawn to mow was in a different neighborhood

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On a scale of 1 to 10, 7 being the highest, what is you favorite color

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What's worse than 4 black guys sitting in a Jeep that goes over a cliff? They were my friends.

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Why did the man fall down? Because he was pushed of a 5 story building

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What she says: “You’re really sweet, but I have a boyfriend.” What she means: “You’re really sweet, but I definitely don’t want to date you.”

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Always put punctuation at the end of your sentence

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They took away privileges that she normally would have had had she not misbehaved.

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What did Einstein say to the blonde? 'What specific part of the theory don't you understand?'

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How did the black kid drop out of highschool? He got bad grades.

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Q.What do you call a beaver with a unibrow. A. A beaver........it's still a beaver

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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