How can you tell if a man has an erection? His penis is no longer flaccid

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according to the ewspickle, it is Dumbledore's favorite food.

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So a black man, a white man and a latina walk into a sentence that doesn't end how you expected it to.

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what is blue and smells like fish? blue fish ;)

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Roses are red, My name is Dan, I have a gun, get in the van

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Why aren't Anti Jokes funny? Cuz they're against my religion.

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Why was the jewish boy crying? i lied he was happy.

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What do you call two grown Mexican men playing tennis? Two adults showcasing their talent in a friendly game of tennis.

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who's sexually attracted to bones? James Cornish

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Knock Knock! Whos there? Doctor! Doctor who? exactly.. how did you know?

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? I don't know but you're a sick person even thinking about it.

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Q: what did the emo girl use to check her email? A: A computer.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

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ARGH! LADY THAT SNAKE BIT MY PECKER! YOU HAVE TO SUCK THE POISON OUT NOW! OMG SURE, err...Meh, thats not a poisonous snake... Oh... dammit! I mean phew! Ouch ouch ouch!

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What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? The wheelchair.

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What happened to the boy who survived a tragic car accident?? He stepped out of the car and got hit by a semi.

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A duck walks into a bar, and the bartender asks what will you have for dinner? The duck says "quack".

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What did the catholic priest say to the little boy? Nothing sexual, that kind of behavior isn't as widespread as people think.

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why did Helen Keller's dog commit suicide? you would too if your name was uuhuhuhduhh

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know why the fuck he crossed the road, I don't know what he is thinking.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? I don't know. He couldn't open it.

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Why do the lesbians where pants? Because they are extremely comfourtable and the best for cold days

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How many elephants can you fit in a car? Five. Two in the front, two in the back, and one in the glove compartment.

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What's a mexican's favorite sport? It varies from person to person.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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