my own dog bit my penis off, it was then put down. it was the worst day of my life.

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Why did the blonde throw her alarm clock out the window? Because it was broken.

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What has two legs and is red all over? Half a dog.

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What did the minority say to the white person? Aboobasashagaboogly. He was uneducated, along with the other minorities in the world.

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roses are red violets are blue holy sh*t slendermans behind you

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whats your budget like? a budget.

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Why did Jimmy not go to school? Because Jimmy, along with his family, were killed in a horrible house fire. Knock Knock? Who's there? Not Jimmy...

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What did the shark say to the boat captain? So do you prefer cards or pool?

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Where do you find a dog with no legs? Right where you left him.

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What do Elephants and Grapes have in common? They are both purple, except the Elephant.

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Q- what the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? A- The Wheelchair

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How do you find a needle in a haystack? You don't, you're too distracted by the pile of adorable kittens next to it

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what did jake say to the priest? hmmm, salty

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Why did the chicken cross the road Because he was Pierre preasured by all you assholes Saying he already did it so now he feels like he Has to do it.

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Did you know that many scientists will find out what happens after death within your lifetime? But not their lifetime...

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Why did the milk man cry? Cause you killed his family.

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Why did Sally fall off the swingset? she had no arms... Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sally

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You know what they say about a man's feet... No i don't.

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What does a person with Alzheimer's do? To get to the other side.

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whats the problem with black and mexican jokes? once youve heard juan youve heard jamal

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Knock knock. Who's there? 9/11. 9/11 who? Oh my god, I thought you said you'd never forget.

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What is yellow, and cannot swim? A School Bus.

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If a girl sleeps with 20 guys, she's a slut. If a guy does the same... He's Gay.

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QUIT PUSHING DAD GUMMIT!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops