A christian and an atheist are in a bar. The christian says "if you don't accept Jesus Christ as your lord and savior you will go to hell." The atheist replies "No I won't."

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One dark, stormy night, there was a man, limping slowly down the road. He looked across the road and noticed a little girl on a park bench. He carefully moved around behind , creeped up, and slowly tapped her on the shoulder. I tap 2 tap 3 tap The little girl slowly turned her head, and as she did, the man uttered 3 sentences.... "Would you mind helping me get back to my apartment, my hand was cut off in the war, while I was serving my country, which is why I have a hook as opposed to a hand. I was heading back to my apartment to greet my wife and 2 little children, since I just got back from a long day's work at the soup kitchen, helping those in need, and I sprained my ankle. By the way, my name I John Thompson."

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Why does the boy like ice-cream? It tastes good.

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A man walks into a bar. Splash.

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It's bright in here *puts on? sunglasses* Ahhh, that's better...

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What do humans and fish both have in common? They both live underwater, apart from humans.

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a brunet,a redhead,and a blone were stranded on an island 4 miles away from land. the brunet swam 1 mile and drowned. the redhead swam 2 and drowned. the blond swam 3 miles and decided to swim 3 miles back to the island

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I wonder what mute people say to themselves. :/

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Why did the baby cross the road. It was stapled to the chicken.

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Its Erron, listen, we got to talk, I do not mind your pictures, but I am not going to call you because of that weird spot on your face, its just 101 basics here, I suggest you shut down the access to this site to the rest of your employees, this might get very personal.

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What did the blind quadriplegic get for Christmas? Cancer.

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What is funnier than a barrel full of clowns? The holocaust.

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What is red and bad for your teeth? A brick

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What's black and red all over? Half a cat

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Knock, Knock ...

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Whats the difference between a jew and a boy scout? The boy scout comes home from camp.

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I had a dream I watched Inception.

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the only thing funny about this website is the fact ciaran hawkins is in love with it

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So a duck walks into a pharmacy and says "i need some ointment for my beak, its rather chapped." and the Pharmacist said "Sorry we don't have anything for ducks here."

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What's the diffrents between a horse and a zebra? WELL clearly there names duh.

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A man tells his wife to leave the kitchen

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I have this friend named Rachel, so I call her Rachel.

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"knock knock" "who's there" nobody answered cus it was a bunch of little shits playing knock a door run

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Knock Knock. Who's there? A dozen burly firefighters ready to stick it in your pooper

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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