how do yopu punish helen keller? Ground her, just like you would with any other child.

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What's the difference between an orange and a dead baby? One is a popular citrus fruit commonly grown in Florida, and the other is a horrible tragedy, possibly caused by miscarriage or a serial killer, who was hopefully immediately jailed for his actions.

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Why did suzy fall of the swing? -she had no arms... Why couldn't she get back up? -she had no friends

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CHAD'S A FAG!!!

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What did the White lady say to the Black lady? Hello, how are you?

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Q: What did the dog say the cat? A: nothing, because dogs cannot speak, and even if they could, I highly doubt they would speak cat.

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what did the maker of anti jokes website say while reading some of the jokes on here? these people r idiots. and he lived happily ever after. then died. Good one

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What did the fish want to drink? Charlie Brown

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Two cows are standing on the top of North Pole and in a half-inch wind they're spanking a bottle of coconut jam. Suddenly two infrared gallopping fly past them. What's the consequence? That people shouldn't use freshly peeled lemoncakes on underwater cornfields.

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Why did the prince kiss his beloved just before going into battle? Intermission.

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whats worse than getting caught by a teacher for chewing gum? getting kidnapped by a giant hawk.

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Only one. It should only take one person to demonstrate such a simple task, regardless of their hair color.

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what do you get when you give a man viagra? A man with an erect penis. Viagra is known to increase blood flow and vascularization in the penis, allowing for erections for people with erectile dysfunction.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive a car? Because she's dead.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Most poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

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Did you hear about the dyslexic insomniac that stayed awake all night wondering if there really is a dog?

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You're Mother's so fat, she sat on a chair, and it broke.

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What is the #1 cause of pedophiles? Sexy children

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Roses are Red, Violets are blue, I'm a Schizophrenic And so am I

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How do you kill Helen Keller? With a gun.

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When life gives you ponies... get a new life!

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Why did the mouse cross the road? Because he had been attached to the chicken with a nail gun.

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An Asian man walked to P.F. Changs, and asked where the bathroom is.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? 3, according to Mr. Owl

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops