So a pirate walks into a bar. He sits down and orders a drink. The bartender then looks down and realizes that the pirate has a steering wheel on his penis. "Sir, are you aware that you have a steering wheel on your penis?" the bartender asks. "Arrrrrrr! It's driving me crazy! I just woke up one day and it was there!" The pirate replied. "Well you should probably get that checked out soon, it looks like it could be very harmful to your health and slightly uncomfortable. Not to mention your penis is out in the open." "You are right, what was I thinking?" The pirate agreed. He proceeded to get his friend to drive him to a hospital, for drinking and driving is not safe, and steering wheels on penises are not healthy.

Four blonds are driving to Disneyworld. They got in a crash and died.

A duct walks into a bar. The writer meant to write duck and then proceed to make a clever joke but instead a typo was made and a very unlikely occurence was writtern about considering air passages are not capable of walking and would most likely already be in the ceiling of the bar as too bring fresh air into the bar is important.

What do you call a deaf black man? Well, if you did not already know his name, you would first have to contact a member of his family, or a friend, and ask them, as even if you were able to communicate the question of 'what is your name?' to the man, it is well known that the speech of deaf people is nowhere near as clear as that of people who are able to hear.

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was a cannibal.

Ask me if i'm a tree... "Are you a tree?".... No

What did the sea say to the sand? Nothing, he just waved.

Oh my God! A talking dog!

What do 9 out of 10 people enjoy? Gangrape.

Your mom is so ugly that she often finds it difficult attracting members of the opposite sex.

Hey I just met you, and this seems crazy. I have Alzheimers... Hey i just met you.

…What did you put in the drink that made me fart, and kill my horse?

what does a blonde say when she walks into a bar? ouch

What would the world be like without 1 direction it would still be the world but just without 1 direction

why was the girl sleeping on the ground? because she was dead

why did the monkey cross the road? it escaped from a local zoo a block away

Eliza eh? Of you I do not know but at least you used the correct code yourself, I suppose Nero7 kept your existence hidden from most of us for a reason. This "point Zero" is no more, about time people got out of the fucking north pole anyways, he was buried there, as his identity and existence is better off kept secret from the outside world for reasons many, none the less because if he is found and identified, undesired company might track whatever loose threads he might have left, straight back to us and we are not exactly operating within the parameters of... Legality anymore. Listen, if you want to know more give me the code straight out (I could not care less about deciphering shit right now and we are leaving horseshit network anyways) And I will tell you what Major6 knows, because as far as the screams roaming these halls can tell, he is still alive, you just better be fast, my men and women are not exactly experts at keeping these people alive... Yet, but enough idle chitchat. If you are who you claim to be, you should have the code I need, bring it, and I will present you with the neccesary information... ...Fail to do so, and I suggest that you never address any of us again fair lady, while we can simply not be tracked down, the security here is... Do I need to say? Neo-Nero.

how did hitler fit 100 Jews in his car??? he couldn't, his car only fits 5 people.

Excuse me waiter! What the hell is this fly doing on my soup? I believe it's swimming on it, sir.

Word Problem Q.John has 32 candy bars. He eats twenty eight of them. What does he have now? A. Diabetes. John has Diabetes.

Why didnt Steve Jobs make an iphone 5? He died

Why do people poke people on facebook? Because they have no friends and will die alone

do you know what's so funny? yup

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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