How many Jews can you fit into a Volkswagen Beatle? Two in the front, two in the back, and one hundred in the ash tray.

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Shit happens. Correction: feces happens.

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What did Roadrunner name his car? Turbo Tax.

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How do you cut the sea in half? You can't. There are an odd amount of letters. You would have to jeopardize the "e", but then it would no longer be "sea".

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mark is mark

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Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue If I Had A Brick I Would Throw It At You

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Why did the black surgeon get fired? The hospital was low on funds due to the economic crisis, and had to let a few employees go.

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What happens when lady gaga and chris brown jump into the pool at the same exact time. They get wet

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Q: Guess what my Mom and Dad did last Night on the Kitchen Table.... A: Had Dinner.

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A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel in the front of his pants. He is given some very strange looks from the patrons both due to the fact that he has a steering wheel in his pants and because people wearing traditional pirate garb are a rarity.

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Why did the man commit suicide? Because on top of his depression, his wife had been cheating on him and his kids all died in a horrible hand-gliding mishap.

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What does it take to play in the WNBA? Nothing....

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer. And a free haircut.

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My grandma's star sign was cancer, and it was really ironic how she died, actually... She was attacked by a giant crab.

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Why doesn't Michael Jackson sleep with boys anymore? -Because he is dead.

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What is white and stands in the corner? A refridgerator who has been very bad...

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knock knock who's there bob bob who bob marley who else

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what happens when you try to believe it's not butter? 34 Indonesian kids lose their job.

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knock knock whos there? yo mama yo mama who? yo mamas mama!!

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How many pollacks does it take to screw in a lightbuld? Likely the same number as is required when people of non-polish descent screw in lightbulds. Overall however it is variable based on the number or bulbs, position of bulbs in relation to ceiling, potential shakiness of required ladder, and desired efficiency. Please reference GE's lightbuld home instillation handbook for further information or alternately contact your local electrician or handy neighbor.

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What's the difference between a Muslim and a box? A box won't blow you up!

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Who killed the ears of every human being? -Rebecca Black

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Jumping out of an airplane without a parachute is a once in a lifetime expeirence.

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What do you call a person who hammers a nail into his forehead? A dumbass.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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