Roses are red violets are blue, he is for me and not for you, he's too ugly you can have him

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why was six afraid of seven? because seven raped six's mom.

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What's three times More dangerous than a war? Three wars

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Why did Jane break up with DeShawn? Cause they grew apart

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There's a car about to hit me.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Pete. I'm here to tell you that your entire family just died in a car accident.

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Vaginal secretions

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Roses are red Violets are blue You are green Curse you!

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What's blue and orange at the bottom of a swimming pool? A dead baby, why's it there? I popped the arm bands.

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What hurts more than a bullet? A bullet penetrating your skin, muscle and embedding itself in your body

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Wow, so today is 9/11? Yes.

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Shape like a book, have papers like a book, have a cover like a book, and could be read like a book. But it's not a book, what is it? A dictionary

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What did a cat said to another cat? Nothing because cata dont talk.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, chickens aren't capable of crossing roads without being involved in a car accident.

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How do you get a black guy out of a tree? Cut the rope.

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Why did they use the phone as a football? Because it was a phone-ball.

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Boy: "Mom, I don't want to walk in circles anymore." Mother: "Shut up or I'll nail your other foot to the ground."

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What is small and gives people courage? Certain kinds of illegal drugs

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

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Bigfoot, the loch ness monster, and self-respecting Justin Beiber fans are all the same, your told they exist, it's not true.

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Dries Roelvink walks into a bar...

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Why did litltle Susie drop her ice cream? She got hit by a bus Knock knock Who's there Not Susie

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Where do cows go on the weekends? The slaughterhouse.

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A man with tourettes walks into a bar, due to his disease he shouts unexpected profanities across the room; everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the pressure anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom and pulls out a gun and points it at his head. HIs wife of 15 years walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to conceive. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man diagnosed with touretts then goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. After he killed everybody he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentanced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man with touretts still cannot control his ticks and rots in jail everyday screaming obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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