What did one theoretical physicist say to another theoretical physicist? Hey there Bill, how's Nancy and the kids doing?

What's the difference between humans and dogs? 4.

7

Goats are like toilets, I shit in them

What's black, white and red all over? A nun that's just been shot.

yo mommas so ugly that everyone died.

Nobody enjoys your company. Nobody likes your work. Nobody loves you. There is no person who's name is legitimately nobody.

Have you ever treat woman like sandwich? Elephant and walrus said Jews are troubles. If six plus nine is five, chickens will eat you, saturdays.

A mushroom walks into a crowded bar, the bartender says "we don't serve your kind here." Protestingly, the mushroom replies, "why not? I am a spore reproducing eukaryote!" Everyone stares as an awkward silence ensues.

yo momma is so fat she ate the rest of the joke

Why did the blonde jump off the bridge? She was clinically depressed and wanted to end her life

i love antijokes

What's the same between grapes and squirrels? They're both purple, except for the squirrel.

I like my women like I like my coffee... In a cup.

The cream, it is coming

Q: Who followed E.T.A Hoffman? A: ASAP Rocky. (ETA and ASAP are both time-based abbreviations, ETA meaning 'estimated time of arrival' and ASAP meaning 'as soon as possible'. Thus, ASAP can form a response to a requested ETA. Additional humour comes from the dissonant occupations of the two individuals: E.T.A Hoffman being a nineteenth century gothic author, and ASAP Rocky being a modern rapper.)

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because 7 ate 9.

Your mamma's so fat she has diabetes and may die because she may not be able to loose enough weight to keep her blood sugar at a regulated number.

Whats red and smells like black paint Red paint

Why did the chicken cross the road? There was something of interest on the other side.

Why Did the throw up He was sick

did you see stevie wonder's new guitar no neither did he

Michael Castillo is gay

How many black people does it take to change a lightbulb? The same amount as white people, stop being racist.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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