what do you do with a fat little chug...kick em in the guts

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What do you call a muslim in an airport? A muslim going on vacation you racist bastard.

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12

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How do you confuse a blonde? Tell her she is a burnette.

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mitchell palmer sucks

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock Whos there Not Susie What did Susie get for Christmas? I don't know , she never opened it. Who high fived Susie? No one Why did Susie die? She got shot in the face

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A blonde walks into a bar; she orders and enjoys her drink and then leaves with her thirst quenched.

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A loving father took his two children to the park for a picnic. while the children went into the lake for a swim he drowned them both

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Q. I'm not hot, I'm not cold I'm not young, I'm not old I'm not lame, I'm not cool I'm not smart, and I'm not a fool. What am I? A. Text

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Three left giraffe testicles fell out of the sky and into a woman's grocery bag. "Did you know that 16 people die from dolphin rape every year? said Adolf Hitler as he began eating a horse.

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I hate it when people talk about concentration camps... my grandad died in one He fell off the guard tower

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How many ears does Captain Kirk have? Two.

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What do you call a retarded black man? His name

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POOP.....People Order Our Patties

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Whats red and you can't see it? No Tomatoes

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Q:Whats the difference between Jews and Pizza? A: Jewish people are humans, and pizza is a food

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Do you smell that? Sex and candy?

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Why did the boy cry? His Parents died.

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Why didn't Helen Keller have headphones? Because they weren't invented

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Roses are red Violets are blue TEST: Are roses red?

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Eric went for a poo in the public toilets. After he finished, he realised that there was no toilet roll. So he had to just pull up his pants and put up with his sshitty arse for the rest of the day. Unfortunately, he was in a board meeting and when he went in he stank of shit and it was a very uncomfortable feeling.

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What moos like a cow? Another cow

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Twelve people are in a plane. One of them says: "Man, we really are not so many in this plane" Another one replies: "It's because it's a 12 seats plane." Another says: "Do 12 seats planes even exist?" Another one answers: "Of course they do." Another person says: "Guys, are we even flying?" Someone says: "I don't know" Another says: "Yes, we're flying, look out the window." Another says: "I have cancer." Someone reacts: "Oh, I'm really sorry for you" Another: "Yes, me too" Someone adds: "It's really terrible" Another says: "Has science made any progress recently?" The plane crashes.

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only in america: does pizza arrive at your house faster than an ambulence do banks leave their doors open and chain their pens to the desks people put their usless junk in the garage and thier expensive cars in the driveway

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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