I took a shower yesterday. You have no idea how hard it was sneaking that thing out of Home Depot.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

"I have some pretty bad news for you, but to ease into it, I will try to work it into a conversation." -Alright Doctor, let's try that." "Hey, how are you feeling today?" -"I feel great!" "That's odd, because you have leukemia..."

thumb_up thumb_down +46

A boy writes an anti-joke. It is not funny. He sees his friends teasing him about the jokes stupidity. He promptly pokes his eyes out with a dull broom stick. He can still hear his friends mocking him. He cuts his ears off with an industrial meat slicer. He wakes up the next morning and doesnt give a crap about the prior days events. Mainly because he can no longer see or hear.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

roses are red violets are blue wanna hear a joke? WNBA....

thumb_up thumb_down +5

to the one below me. YEAH RIGHT!!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Q:Whats rhe best part about spinning a baby round and round Stopping it with a shovel

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Yo mom so fat that even Torres won't miss her

thumb_up thumb_down -7

who is gay wit mon james cornish

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Patient: Doctor, it hurts when I run, I might have arthritis. Doctor: Let me check.... 5 minutes later... Doctor: It turs out you have 3 bullets in your legs. Patient: Ohhh, I get it now.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What's the difference between a black man and a white man, a white man has lighter skin

thumb_up thumb_down +25

You ask your friend if they want to hear a joke when they say yes tell them that thought you had a joke

thumb_up thumb_down

Cigarettes are a lot like hamsters. Perfectly harmless until you put them in your mouth and catch them on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What happened to the orphan who ate a sandwitch? She got hit by a whale!

thumb_up thumb_down -20

what's worse than the holocaust? when starbucks puts whip cream in my hot chocolate and I didn't ask for it. created by KA

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why did the tree catch on fire? A phinix hit it!

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Roses are red. Violets are red. Tulips are red. My garden is on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

What did the captcha tell me to write? Tepsyto Dora

thumb_up thumb_down +15

mary had a little lamb its fleece was white as snow and everywhere that mary went this joke has no punchline

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Relax and enjoy sugartits, you see, I left a last chance for you to shut down the function yourself, when you really want to end it sugartits, you can just read and focus on what I am calling you, sugartits, it really insulted you at first sugartits, but do you see it? Have a nice night sugartits, I mean I sleep like half a hour luckily because of hypnosis and the time control and you know stuff that sounds like its from Sonic or you sugartits. But I gotta go dear sugartits, you want to hypnosis to end, you make it happen by focusing on what I am calling you here.

thumb_up thumb_down

I went to the doctor and explained to him, "My penis fell off." The doctor gives me an odd look, and then chops his off to make me feel better.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

ass in my face ? no

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did thomas make a big mess on the ground? Beacuse he fell of a cliff

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What do you call a blonde in a library? Lost

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What's brown and sticky? Turtle excrement.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops