Did you hear about the speed reader on top of the Twin towers? 90 stories 5 seconds.

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What is white and fluffy? A cotton ball.

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Whats black and white and red all over? My wife, i constantly beat her and I should probably be arrested for it if she didnt love me so much

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Why was Timmy crying? because his impaled his dog while in a drunken rage

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Whats a Quires favorite type of sport?--- A contact sport

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Did you hear the one about the guy who couldn't tell any funny jokes? He went to Anti Joke and posted 1000's.

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What did the man with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A bike

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An Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They have a few drinks, then go to a club, where they amuse each other and those around them by completely slurring their words in their already very strong regional accents. Then they get a taxi back to the house of the Englishman as he lives nearest, and stay the night. The next morning, the Scotsman and the Irishmen walk home as they are still hungover and do not wish to risk driving.

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What'sucks and white Jackson

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A fat man and his dog walk into a bar...the man buys a beer and walks out

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why didn't the printer work? it was in the toilet.

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How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

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Why did the cow have to travel everywhere by an electric scooter? It had motor neurone disease.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? "Get in the car."

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Knock Knock. Come in.

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What's the difference between a black guy and a white guy? One has a slightly darker skin complexion

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Alternate ending for children: Despite the massive trauma that the spider suffered from his fall and the sheer volume of rain in the confined space of a pipe, it made a miraculous recover due to the sun coming out. It was however, forever doomed to repeat this cycle of undeath for ever more. [L]

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What is the square root of 69? 8.306623863

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what did the nazi say to the jew? hi

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How do you kill a domb blond? Shoot her in the head.

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haha look at that guys shirt! what's wrong with it? i don't know.. nothing i guess

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Jokes about the Holocaust

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There are two cowboys in the kitchen. One says to the other, "I feel at 'home on the range.'" To which the other replies, "Is that because of your extensive culinary background?" The first cowboy breaks down in tears because he realizes he's not pursuing what he truly loves.

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Do you know how I know that you're gay? You told me you are gay.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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