You know what sucks? Yes.

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What is small, cries a lot, and moves at high speeds? A baby stapled to a car.

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What did the monkey say after its tail was run over by a lawnmower? It won't be long now.

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Why was the little boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his face! -Lets go Mets

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Q:How do you fit ten babies into a bucket? A: A blender Q:How do you get them out? A: Nachos

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Why did the little girl miss 7 straight days of school? She died.

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why did the blind kid cross the road... because he was sick of being blind

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Why can't you tell Knock-Knock jokes in a Japanese farmhouse? Because your fist will go through the rice paper.

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what's the difference between you and a yack one is a spitting idiot and the other one is a camel

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What's black an blue and doesn't like sex? The 8year old in my trunk.

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what do you call a fat black cat and a skinny white dog? Just two animals that are judged.

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Why did the penguin die? He was anti-social and would rather die than huddle. So he died. THE END

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Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall. Humpty Dumpty had a great fall. His death was mourned by his wife and three children who wished he would not have been so reckless.

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What's the difference between getting hit by a car and being struck by lightning? Impossible to tell, they are 2 entirely different circumstances with limited certainties.

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There are no stupid Questions just stupid people

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How do you make sushi if you are a fish? Commit suicide and sell yourelf to a sushi resturant!

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They brutally whipped and tortured her.

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What do you call a gynochologist named John? John

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What did bob say when he was told his beloved parents were dying? "oh"

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Rhyming is hard, Zebra.

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Why do people on here submit anti-jokes involving children getting raped or killed? Because the people on this website are sadists. =/

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ROSES ARE RED VIOLETS ARE BOOBS BOOBS BOOBS BOOBS BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOBSSSSSSSS!

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Knock knock. Who's there? Nobody is here, nobody would ever want to knock on the door of you. Yes, you. You reading these awful jokes.

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Once upon a time, a story teller used the "once upon a time" metaphor in order to tell you your parents have died in a terrible accident

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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