A man comes home from the office, walks inside and hangs up his coat and hat at the door. He walks into the kitchen to find his wife has not made dinner instead she is drinking with friends, she tells him that she would have made dinner but she didnt want to. Furious, the man storms to the door, grabs his coat and leaves... He gets in his car and drives down to the pub. Sitting there drinking his beer, trying to calm down he finds a peice of paper tucked into his coat pocket, he unfolds it and reads it. It turns out to be a memo he wrote to remind himself at work that day.

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How did the fat guy servive the plane crash??????? He bounced

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Hey Johnny what's after 2?? 3.

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Q. Why was the Asian boy crying A. Because i stabbed his family

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Q: What do you get when you cross an Elephant and a Rhinoceros? A: Merriam-Webster defines "cross" as "an affliction that tries one's virtue, steadfastness, or patience." This comedic exercise is one such affliction.

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Why did the boy fail his test? He didn't study.

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yolo mother f-uckaaaa

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Why did the man mysteriously disappear? Because he was hiding without telling anyone that he was hiding.

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Why did the boy lose his change? He had no Pants Why did the boy have no pants? The Holocaust

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wat is the name of a girl u can play connect the dots on her face laurie pisciotta

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I don't like anyone who is not a straight, white male.

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Why don't women wear watches? In the technologically advanced age that we live in, the watch is rapidly being replaced with other electronic devices that tell time, such as cell phones or iPods.

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Why was little Jimmy sad? Because his mum died.

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Why did the boy engage in oral sex with the other boy. He was a hormonal homosexual.

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Why does Santa wear sleigh bells? Because he's got leprosy.

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What do you call a man with an eight foot steel spike wedged in his rectum? An Ambulance

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Donald Trump decided to run for President.

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Cheese

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What did the man say to the horse in the bar? Nothing, communication requires listening and comprehension which horses cannot process in their brains. If anything the man said it at the horse, not to him.

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A family of black people get onto a plane. The son said to his father: "Why do planes have wings?" The father then replied by saying: "To help them fly son." The plane's wing then fell off due to a building error, then the plane crashed and everyone on board was killed.

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how come bob felt 'under pressure'? because somebody dropped a dumpster on him

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Ask me If I'am a tree are u a tree? no.....

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Me: Hello. You: Oh, hi. Me: How are you today? You: I'm fat.

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I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. But it wasn't actually getting bigger, it was just getting closer. So I got hit in the face.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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