So a leg, an arm and a head win the Boston marathon. And I'm sitting here masturbating, ...

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Why am I losing my time writing this joke even knowing that I will get lots of thumbs down?

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Have you heard of the lawnmower joke? No neither have I

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What do you do to a duck with no bill? Please, leave the duck alone, it's bad enough for him having no bill.

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Q.) What did the young child of a highly idiosyncratic family do when he heard the fire-alarm going off unexpectedly in his house? A.) He started to panic since he hadn't received any portions of formal insturction in the art of, "Stop, drop and roll", prior to the moment of the lamentable catastrophe. I think that we should blame his parents/teachers immediately... *Sigh*

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Knock knock. Who's there? Auntie.

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A man walks into bar. Which is no surprise as he'd been drinking heavily and his spacial awareness was poor at the best of times.

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what's worse than fining out that the best and worst jokes on anti-joke.com are about the Holocaust The Holocaust

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Q: What happens after you have sex with Michelle Obama? A: You wake up and kill yourself.

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a man walk into a bakery, he sais... may i have a loaf of bread....

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What do you do when you see a black child riding a bike? Think to yourself, "Wow you just don't see many kids riding bikes anymore because there too busy playing video games in their basement."

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A priest, a rabbi and a scientologist walk into a bar. They discuss their various religious viewpoints until the scientologist gets a call informing him of his mother's death. The priest buys him a drink. Then the priest gets a call informing him of his mothers death. The rabbi buys him a drink. The rabbi gets a call. The scientologist expects it to be about the rabbi's mother dying, so he prematurely buys him a drink. It was actually the lottery commission telling the rabbi he won 48 million dollars.

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How do you make a clown happy? You sucks it's dick

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Why was the little boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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What'f funny and has 8 wheels? The Holocaust, I lied about the wheels

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What did Voldermort say to harry potter? i raped you mum last night!

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Why did Doris want to father children? Because she wanted to have a fry-up with the leftover baby oil

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What is the difference between a black man and a white man? The pigment in their skin.

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Yo momma so ugly just after she was born, her mother said, "What a treasure!" and her father said, "Yea, let's go bury it!"

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what did batman say to robin before he got in the batmobile get in the batmobile

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who lives in a pinaple under the sea? japanesse people!

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you will now laugh.

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why did the boy drop her ice cream? -he got hit by a bus

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What's worse than the holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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