Hickory Dickory Dock, your mother is a whore

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What do you call man with no limbs or a head? Your neighbor.

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Why is nate asian? no one knows neither of his parents appear to be of asian desent

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

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A man walks into a bar at 4:00 PM NO it was actually 4:01 because my clock is messed up and My dad likes cheese plus pie

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why did the snow man die? Actually it is impossible because it was an inanimate object.

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How do you stop a drunk driver? With a minivan and family of four.

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What's worse than being forced to drink your own urine and eat a disabled kids poop? James Holmes (Ironic that the text I had to type in to post this was "I'M BATMAN".)

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why didn't your dog come home last cause he died

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How much does a polar bear weigh?. . .Approximately 515 kilos.

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Want to hear a tough toung twister? spoons

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Roses are red Violets are blue Your mom likes dick and so do you

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Q: Why didn't the man give money to the homeless person on the sidewalk? A: Because he thought that he was faking it. Two days later the homeless person died in an alleyway from starvation. Nobody was there to witness it, and the body was never found.

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Why was 97 afraid of 98? Because 98,99, 100!

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Why do I know Vin Diesel is gay? Because I sucked his dick

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3 guys and 2 women walk into a bar and sat down........... good to see both sex`s were welcome in the bar

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What did one volcano say to the other? Hey.... wana get some lunch... later, not now of course it's WAAAAY TOO EARLY!

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A baby seal walks into a club. The man holding the club skins him and makes a lot of money.

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A young man was lost wandering in a field, when he came upon a small house. He knocked on the door and was greeted by a scary southern man with a shotgun in hands. "I'm lost," said the man. "Can you put me up for the night?" "Certainly," the man said, "but on one condition. If you so much as lay a finger on my daughter, I will shoot you with this shotgun." He couldn't have sex with the daughter because he has severe erectile dysfunction.

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Hey i heard you where cool wait that was opposite day ;)

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Why did the chicken cross the road? he has an iq of 5 like all chickens

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Guy walks into a bar and orders a drink. He goes to the restroom and urinates. He comes back and orders another drink. He goes to the restroom again and urinates. He comes back and orders another drink. Guess what happens next? A. He goes to the restroom to urinate B. He buys another drink C. He flirts with a very attractive lady D. Goes home and masturbates

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What do you call a midget sitting in a tree? Jim, because that's his name.

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A 12-year-old boy comes up to the Polish man and says, "I was looking in your bedroom window last night and I saw you and your wife doing it. Nyah, nyah, nyah!" The Pole answers, "You are a very rude, disrespectful, and inappropriate child. Where are your parents?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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