Whats black on top and white on bottom? R a p e.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she has no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Suzie.

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what did god say when we made his first nigga oops i acidenlty burnt it

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That awkward moment when your brother goes to crack his neck, but he dies instead.

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Who's dumb and retarted. A person that is dumb and retarted.

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How do you get a nun pregnant? You have sex with her.

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how many licks does it take to get too the tootsie center of a tootsie pop. Well it depends on how you eat it, there is always the option of biting it, so there is no defined answer, as well as ones lick might absorb more of the lollipop then another mans.

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You are in a sealed room with Joseph Stalin, Osama bin Laden, and Hitler and have a revolver with two bullets. Who do you shoot? None of them. You awkwardly set the gun down and wonder how to get out of this room filled with three corpses.

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why was the boy mad? He had a lot of homework that evening

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when geese fly in a V patteren why is on side longer than the other? not as many geese on that side

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Why did the boy get hit by the bus? He didn't check both sides before crossing

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So a baby seal walks into a club...

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knock knock who's there? faith

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A mexican goes to an ATM.

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One day a duck was swimming on the lake and sees an alligator. The alligator says "You will be my next victim." The duck says "Quack."

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A: what did one apple say to the other apple. B: Nothing apples cant talk

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What happened when the paraplegic man went into the bar? Nothing the man couldnt get into the bar because the bar has no wheelchair ramp.

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A detective? I think more about that chip and dale thing, that was not funny, the classics are okay I suppose, but that newer thing detective-ish maybe. Uh... Do I get a clue? I have not like watched all of them.

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Knock knock Fuck off!

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if chuck norris had 5 dollars and you had 5 dollars he would have 10 dollars

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What does it mean if you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars? You both have five dollars

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A man found a magic lamp. He rubbed it and a genie emerged from the lamp. The genie asked what his new master's wishes were. The man wished for asthma.

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What was the beauty pageant contestant with a bladder control problem told by the judges? You’re an 8.

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How do you know that an elephant has been in your refrigerator? The door is ripped off and the refrigerator is lying on it's side. All the shelves are strewn around the floor and your food has been partially eaten or simply crushed. You also have costly damage done to your house and most likely a frightened elephant in your house

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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