I love my valentine <3 Hes mine no matter what anyone says <3 Cause i love him with all my heart <3

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what is a model plus a poop plus a rhino plus a flamingo a peice of floob split in half or a shelby koon

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What did the man do after he took a bite of his pie? Chew. After that? Swallow. Then? Repeat.

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What is better than a cat? Nothing

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Knock knock. Who is it? The police officer. ok, im not home.

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What do Jews and Sloths have in common? They are both Mammals.

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What do you get when you cross a penis with a dinosaur? A dicklodocus.

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What do you call a cat at the bottom of the ocean? A cat.

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Q: What did Santa give the little boy for Christmas? A: Nothing, he's not real

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go up to some one and say "i told you it would happen" with a straight face and walk away. it should cause a LOT of confusion.

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What do you call a man who just died 5 minutes ago? Dead.

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Why did Debby drop her ice cream? She was hit by a bus.

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Its simple, if people do not have the willpower to follow their own desires, their own wishes, they do not deserve to. I have no desire to resurrect what is doomed to fail again and again, that is idealism, of course we would all have liked our own little society where people are encouraged to accept who they are and respect their own kin, regardless of race, culture and so on. But we did our best, we gave our teen years, and what did we end up with? If you think I have given up, you are right, I will help you do your thing however, but I will not stand beside you when the tide turns, had I joined you, we would all have been killed or imprisoned at best, all while "The Wizard" would have gone free maybe even with money and a medal.

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Your mom goes to college. Actually, she graduated a while back!

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A man and a prostitute walk into a bar. they have a few drinks then proceed to a hotel room where the man has sexual intercourse with the woman in exchange for money. The man then leaves while the woman stays in the hotel room and cries cause she hadn't achieved any of her dreams or life ambitions.

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what do you call a black man in a police car? either officer or offender, depending on what role he has in the crime.

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Q: Why was the boy so sad? A: His parents were just killed in a car wreck, therefore orphaning him and his five brothers and sisters and leaving them with no money, food, or shelter due to lack of steady income and the fact that their house had been foreclosed on.

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What's the best anti-pest control of all time???? The Holocaust.

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Sam murray got home after school one day, he siad hello to his father and possibly played some Avatar on the D.S

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If dropped from the same height, which hits the ground first an apple or a baby? the apple because the baby has a rope tied around its neck

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Two homosexuals walk into a bedroom, and begin to have sex.

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What do you get when you cross a donkey and a horse? a mule

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Asian son: "I'm using a calculator for my math" Asian mother: "Why not you calculatnow!"

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What do polar bears have that no other animal has? Polar bear babies.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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