Guy 1: I had a Energy Drink the other day, I crashed. Guy 2: Really? That must of sucked. Guy 1: Yeah, the family in the other car died.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What came in like a wrecking ball? A wrecking ball.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Roses are red Olives are Black come to my and will smoke some crack

thumb_up thumb_down -17

(SPOILER ALERT) The following are a few punchlines: "I didn't know what you did, but I stepped on a duck!" "I can't believe I just blew thirty bucks!" "Hold on buddy, I'm about to save you $10,000" "To get to the other side!" "Because 7, 8, 9!" "She had no arms!" "A fridge!" "I don't have Ferrari in my garage!" "The clown can stay, but the Ferengi in the gorilla suit has to go!" "And if it wasn't for my horse, I wouldn't have spent that year in college!" "It was stapled to the chicken!" "I proved it to him." "The holocaust" "Red paint" "A stick." "I wished for a big orange head." "No." "A bicycle is an object and a black man is a human being." "A pilot." "The papa tomato steps on him and says ketchup." "You left your engine running!" "That's what she said." "TV watches you!" "I think so Brain, but where will we get that many cucumbers at this time of night?" "Rectum? Damn near killed him!" "One but it takes two episodes and the bald guy dies."

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What's big white and cant climb a tree? A refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

So a duck walks into a pharmacy and says "i need some ointment for my beak, its rather chapped." and the Pharmacist said "Sorry we don't have anything for ducks here."

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Knock Knock! Who's there? ....Mrs Murray silently returned to her armchair, a single tear rolling down her weathered cheek. Her lonely existence deepened, as she realised the gang of boys had fooled her again.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What is the biggest lie in the universe? "I have read and agree to the Terms of Service"

thumb_up thumb_down -7

what do fish smoke? sea weed

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Chuck Norris was so famous we was casted for the show Walker, Texas Ranger

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why do Chinese people smell? Because of their ethnicity...plus, they smell.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Q : Why did the girl fall off the swimset ? A : Gravity pulls smaller masses towards larger masses, so the girl being the smaller mass, got attracted to the bigger mass, AKA the Earth, and that's why she fell.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

One day, a bear happoned across a man and said "How do you do today good sir?" but the man ran away screaming "OH CRAP, BEARS!!!!" because it just sounded like bear growling (which i would love to dedicate to my friend Chris Bradley, just to make the ball to stick ratio too high)

thumb_up thumb_down -33

your mother is so lesbian

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the other monkey fall out of the tree? It was taped to the other monkey

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Most people like to drink beer, others do not.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why didn't the boy go to the bathroom? His mother was taking a well deserved bath.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A man walks into a library looking for books on poor punchlines. The Librarian directs him to the appropriate section.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Life is like a box of chocolates. Sometimes you get the shitty coconut ones.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why did I lose a card game to a cat? Cause he was a cheetah!

thumb_up thumb_down +30

knock knock who's there your family just died your family just died who? -.-

thumb_up thumb_down +16

How many dogs does it take to change a light bulb? None, any dog aware of the situation would kindly inform its owner.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

YOU

thumb_up thumb_down +14

I just pooped in my boyfriends mouth. He ate it. Ps. I am a boy

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops