What's the square root of four? Two.

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a little boy takes his lacrosse stick to his mom and says "hey mom this is bob" the mom says "hi bob" and she says to her son "does bob say hi back?" and the boy says "no mom. hes a lacrosse stick."

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I know you are but what am I? A queer.

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Why did the blonde stay in the five-star hotel? She had enough money.

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How do you kill Glenn Campbell? Stab him with a screwdriver.

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Roses are, blue, Violets are red, Screw poetic forms, I wish you were dead

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On a tusday night, three guys walk into a bar After realising they have to work they proceed to exit

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So lion bites off a mans foot. He bleeds to death.

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Who's white and tries his best? Steve Nash

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If there's something strange in your neighborhood. Who ya gonna call? The Police.

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david what a baghead

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Q:how do you save a black guy from drowning A: you shoot him

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Need homeless tips? Get A Job.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, What the **** did i just do? I have no clue......

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why did sally drown? because she had no arms or legs and couldn't swim

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Why did the girl have an abortion? Because she wanted a burger.

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Why did the chicken cross the road. Because most living organisms eventually cross some form path that is commonly known as a road. Roads are hard asphalt that is very good for cars and other wheeled road licensed vehicles.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they get into the Batmobile? -Come on Robin, get into the Batmobile!

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A man walks into a bar. He is rushed to the hospital due to a large aneurysm that has burst in his brain because he walked into the bar.

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Bob Saget that is all

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I beheld M.Bison/Raul Julia, as I fell down from the sky LIKE LIGHTNING! Your friendly r*pist Moral Man: You don`t like me? MAAN That gets me on... As for Horny, I was born with two of them... The third is a burning stake. ...So you like me... Meh! No fun when they don`t struggle nor squeal, even if they do scream in pain...

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What do you call a partially deaf obese man? Anything you want, it's unlikely that he'll hear you. If he does manage to catch what you said, your chances of outrunning him are very good considering that he's likely to tire before you, unless you're overweight yourself of course. If this is the case then perhaps you should hit the gym, obesity is a growing problem in the Western world and greatly increases your chance of heart disease and/or diabetes.

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mary poppins' handbag is full of fuckin dick

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What did the rap singer say to the other rap singer? "You just got served. Here, read this subpoena and sign it, verifying your understanding of the document."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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