Why can't Anne Frank drive? Because she's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Knock Knock! Well come on in!

thumb_up thumb_down +11

besides saying "Oh, Yeah" and punching down walls, what does the kool-aid man do? drink cool aid

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A man walks into a music store and hears dubstep playing in the background and he says, "Ugh! I hate dubstep!" Suddenly the clerk gets extremely offended and says, "Haters gonna be gay!" The man chuckles at the clerk's remark and shakes his head. "No no no silly," He said. "Haters gonna not be deaf." He says shaking his head as he walks out. The clerk tries to elaborate on what the man meant, but he realizes he cannot hear his thoughts.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Your mom is so fat shes having trouble getting into her own pants.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What do you call a middle-eastern man flying a plane? A pilot

thumb_up thumb_down

whats fat and sits on a toilet? a fat guy sitting on the toilet

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Your momma's so fat: she now considers her body to be a metaphor for post-industrial excess.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

You know you're drunk when you've spend a significant amount of time consuming alcohol.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Q:What did the cat say to the dog? A: Meow

thumb_up thumb_down +22

I like to rape children, then kill them, eat them and defecate them into a toilet

thumb_up thumb_down -50

Q: What's the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? A: I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why did the carrot jumped over the fence? It didn't. Carrots do not have the physical ability to jump.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the dog eat poop?

thumb_up thumb_down +9

When life hands you lemons... do not squeeze them, for juice may squirt into your eye, causing severe pain.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

A man walks into a bar. It turns out he's an alcoholic, and he goes home and beats his wife.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Knock Knock Who's there? Orange. Orange who? The orange that can talk and knock on doors.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What did the Catholic Priest say to the Altar Boy shortly after sex? Nothing. The feelings of shame and revulsion the priest felt about what he had just done meant he couldn't look him in the eye let alone talk to him.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

jess is a drama queen am i right rishi ?

thumb_up thumb_down +13

In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A bomb went off in japan where did sally go Everywhere

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Hey

thumb_up thumb_down -12

How many babies does it take to paint a wall red? Depends on how hard you throw them.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Diarrhea

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops