Q: What's green, red, and covered in cookie crumbs? A: A dead girl scout.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Q: How many Chuck Norrises does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: negitave 999999999999999999e

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a brand new Ferrari? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q: What's bigger than a volcano? A: Earth

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Why did the dog cross the road? To eat the chicken. Why did the police officer cross the road? To tranquilize the dog and the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Johnny woke up christmas morning, went downstairs and opened his presents to find he had an iPhone, iPad,Ps3 Laptop, the full lot. Then his mate came around and Johnny bragged about all the stuff he had got. Then his mate replied," I wish i had cancer".

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Q. What do humans and jelly beans have in common ? A. Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What does a black car thief do with a stolen car? Drive it

thumb_up thumb_down -33

row row row your boat gently down the stream rape

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Knock Knock. Whos there? Satan.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do you call a fly with no wings? Joseph

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Your mama is so stupid she had to go back to school to get her GED in order to get a job that could properly support her family.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

thumbs up!

thumb_up thumb_down -68

Freddie Mercurys teeth

thumb_up thumb_down +12

memes

thumb_up thumb_down +30

1 + 1 = 2 If it was equal to 11 the problem would be impossible

thumb_up thumb_down +3

i have cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Ask me if I'm a Banana Are you a Banana? Yes Oh, I couldn't tell in this lighting

thumb_up thumb_down +23

When did the War of 1812 begin? 1963.

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Infamous last words: "Phew these Germans are finally gonna let us take a shower! Okay who farted! And do not lie because it smells like gas in here!" "Oh Crickey! That reptoil looks dangerous! Good thing I am immune to reptoils... Wait are Manta-Roys reptoils? uh oh..." "Hi OJ dear! Say hello to my brothe..." Moral: Hmm my chest hurts I wonder if... YAAAAaaaaaaaaaaRAGHGHGhGHGHG *dead* RESURRECTION! Phew...

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Did you hear about the guys who wanted to go to Hawaii??? They didn't go!

thumb_up thumb_down -41

just in time?

thumb_up thumb_down +3

suck my dick.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops