What's white and sticky.... Jizz

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Why did Michael Phelps drown? He didn't because he is the best swimmer in olympic history.

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Knock knock! Just kidding.

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Why did the boy fail his final? His severe depression and progressive detachment from reality caused him to hang himself the night before

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A man walks into a bar and says ouch, as he stubbed his foot when he became fully enclosed in the tavern.

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A boy asks a wolf, "whats the time mr wolf?" The wolf does not answer. Wolves possess neither watches, nor the neurone in their brain required to talk.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Interrupting cow. Interrupting cow who? The one from the farm across the street. Can Randy come play outside?

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What is green and can hurt your eyes? I don't know, but its definitely not a laser pointer.

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A bear walks into a bakerey. He aks for a loaf of bread. The bakers asks: "White or brown?" The bear answers: "It doesn't matter, I'm on the motorcycle".

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Once upon a time, there were two brothers jumping on a bed. Q: The one stopped. Why? A: His brother fell off, cracked his head, started uncontrollably bleeding and died.

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Why did the Koala fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second Koala fall out the tree? Hit by the first Koala. Why did the third Koala fall out the tree? Peer pressure

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Whats black, white, and read/red all over? What? Michael Jackson after his surgery.

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How much booze did the homeless man drink? All of it. He is severely depressed.

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WHY CANT THE ENGLISH MAN FIND HIS.....PANTS? BECAUSE HE NEEDED TO LOOK HARDER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! LOOK HARDER ENGLISHMAN!!!!!!!!LOOK HARDER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! yell this joke out loud and u will realize that its really funny!!! ^-^

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What has 4 legs in the morning, 2 legs at noon, and 3 legs in the afternoon? A dog that got its hind legs chopped off, and then only got 1 prosthetic one.

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What's green and doesn't fly? A broken green helicopter.

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A duck walks by to a lemonade stand. He says to the man running the stand, "Quack."

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"Do you know the joke about the No and Me Neither?" "No..." "Me neither."

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Why can't Ray Charles read? Because he's Black

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A guy vociferiously kills another person- fueled by the incentive of personal gain provided by his rapacious, human nature. He is an army soldier who's triumphant in battle and hoping to recieve a promotion. However, ultimately all he did was essentially insignificantt and his acts of purported valor were diametrically unnoticed by all except for his closest friends/allies. He never did supass his original self of a soldier and died of a natural cause that was disclosed only to the members of his immediate family.

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A theif walks into a blonde ladies apartment. The theif takes all of her valuable belongings, leaving her life in shambles.

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A priest walks into a bar, which is suprising because priests don't usually go to bars.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

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what is brown with wheels? a potatoe, i was just kidding about the wheels

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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