Why did the Mexican jump the border? Because his mom told him the grass was always greener on the other side... She lied.

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Congress back then: No sooner had I ended this prayer than a pederast farted on my right. "Hah! a good omen," said I, and prostrated myself; then I burst open the door by a vigorous push with my arse, and, opening my mouth to the utmost, shouted, "Senators, I wanted you to be the first to hear the good news; since the war broke out, I have never seen anchovies at a lower price!"

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viki has 10 penises around her she eats 8 of them what does viki have? viki has AIDS

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Why was 8 afraid of 9? Because 9 bullied him until he became anorexic.

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Yo momma is so ugly that she should probably consider suicide

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I read the terms of service.

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What do you call a middle-aged man at a preschool? A teacher.

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Why did you fall? Because of my buttcrack.

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"Knock, Knock" "Who's there?" "Banana." "Banana who?" "Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "Banana." "Banana who?" "Knock, Knock" "Who's there?" "Banana." "Banana who?" "Knock, Knock" "Who's there?" "The police. We're looking for three escaped inmates posing as bananas."

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Christopher Reeve walks into a bar.

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What is a black person's favorite food? It varies from person to person, just as with any race.

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What's worse than getting one of your hands cut off? Getting both of your hands cut off.

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What is worse worse than stubbing your toe? The Holocaust.

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What would happen if an unstoppable object hit and unmovable object? I don't know, I was just wondering

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I am a joke. I am funny.

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Q:What's the difference between a pinata and a baby? A: One I hang from a tree and beat to death and the other one is a pinata..

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Knock knock. Whos there? The police, your wife is dead. The police, your wife is dead who? Sir, this isn't a joke.

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A: Do you want to hear a joke? B: A ladie not working in the kitchen A: WTF dude thats just terrible

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What do you call an anorexic with a yeast infection? A quarter ponder with cheese.

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I am so good at sleeping, I can do it with my eyes closed.

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Why didn't the man finish his dinner? His dinner was a wheelchair.

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How do you get 100 midgets into a Mini? You have to manufacture a Mini large enough to accommodate 100 midgets. It wouldn't be street-legal, but at least the problem of getting 100 midgets into a Mini is solved.

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Why was the black man smoking marijuana with his friends? He was at a glaucoma support group meeting.

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A man goes to a doctor and says , "My arm hurts in 3 places." the doctor says, "Dont go to those places.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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