i may not know where you sleep. but, i spiked your drink with sleeping pills

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How did the blind man eat his soup? With a spoon. Despite no vision, the man could feel the shape of what he was touching.

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Why does a clown wear makeup? So you can't identify him to police after he shoves your kids in his tiny car and drives away.

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Whoever is reading this, I love you and I hope you have a great day.

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A man goes to the pound to adopt a dog and sees a very shaggy dog and says "WOW! Thats a shaggy dog I'll take it!" So the man takes home his new dog and decides to enter the dog in the towns anual shaggy dog contest. and wins. After winning the town shaggy dog contest he moves up to the county shaggy dog contest. theres no competition. Now the man and his dog enter into the state shaggy dog contest, the states shaggiest dogs are all competing. the man wins. Finally the man and his dog are in the prestigious national shaggy dog contest. The judge walks up to the man and says "your dog isn't very shaggy"

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Q: A squirrel a chipmunk and a spider monkey are fighting over these nuts. Who gets them? A: Your Mom ;p

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Your momma so poor, she has a hard time paying her bills.

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What's the difference between a piece of chicken and a black guy? They were both once alive and innocent, I lied about the black guy.

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A guy walks into a bar, has a few drinks with his mates and gets highly intoxicated.

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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A Jew walking in the street sees a homeless person asking for charity. He reaches to his pocket, grabs a penny, greets her with a nice smile and gives away the penny.

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So there's this crazy married couple in a old trailer down the road. They are both drunk. The man asks his blond wife, ''Isn't it about time we get married?'' The wife replies ''I wouldn't marry a ugly thing like you!'' The next day, they file a divorce.

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Did you hear about the Mexican boy scout that helped that old lady cross the border.

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A boy walk in. What did you think I was gonna add "into a bar"? Also, boys under the age of 21 aren't allowed to drink.

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Knock, Knock Who's there? Betty. Answer the door!

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why did the man fall off his bike? someone threw an oven at him

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so there are two muffins. no wait there are three muffins in an oven. actually it was a toaster oven. and they were covered in butter. uuuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhh cheese on toast anyone?

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An Asian, a white man and a black man were running in a race. The Asian won and the black man came second due to his lack of training and motivation over the past couple of months.

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What did the white man say to the group of mexicans when a golf ball was coming toward them? 4!

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Once upon of time there was 2 boys named Bucky and Thorn. They were best of friends and always came up with amusing adventures. So one day, during summer time before high school senior year, Bucky and Thorn went to go hiking on the mountain called Mt. Saint Lasik. It was the tallest mountain of the city. The city was called "The City of Dreams" because everyone had a dream that one day they will accomplish their goals. Well Bucky had a goal and his goal was to be the youngest to ever climb the mountain. However, Thorn was jealous because he as 11 toes. Since he can't hike they decided to go camping at Walala National Park. One day they saw a big huge bear named Pervus. Pervus told them that they were not allowed to be there. Thorn told Pervus to shut the hell up because he can't hike mountains. A girl came suddenly showed up. It was a girl named Sally. She was half black, white, Spanish, ad French, and she could sweet talk bears. Pervus said "Now it's time to boogey woogey woogey" and began dancing like a maniac. Police arrived. Officer Caleb Johnson was in the scene to investigate. "Where were you at the night of April 24th?" To which Bucky replied "To what do I owe pleasure of speaking?" Harry, his front door neighbor stole the cop car and drove off to New Guinea. God knows how or why Harry showed up. Coincidentally, Sally decided it was time to leave. Everyone left utterly confused. The End.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick!

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What would Jesus do? Something worthy of having him nailed to a cross.

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Why wad six afraid of seven? Because seven was a sexual offender.

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Why did the wiener dog fight the cock. Because it was a cock-fight.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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