a man walked up to me and said someone is dying with long terminal cancer i said who? man replies your cat. i replied i don't have a cat. man says whoops wrong person

what worse the 2 dead kids in a van 3 dead kids in a van

Your mammas so fat, she weighs significantly more than the average person.

Pikachu says "Pikachu!" Squirtle says "Squirtle!" Charmander says "Charmander!" Ash is upset because he cannot communicate with his Pokemon in their foreign tongue.

why was the little girl crying? because i raped her.

What did the boy with no arms and legs get for his 8th birthday? Prosthetic arms and legs.

whats red and smells like blue paint? blue paint on the rag

What do you call a person on a swing? F u c k N i g g e r s

What's facial hair? Hair that slowly progresses to grow out of certain areas on your face.

why did the old man lose his hair Because he had cancer and needed kimmo therapy

What's more boring than watching grass grow? Watching grass not grow.

How do you get a baby into a bowl? Use a blender. How do you get the baby out of the bowl? Tortilla chips.

What's worse than a baby nailed to a tree? Ten babies nailed to a tree. What's worse than ten babies nailed to a tree? One baby nailed to ten trees.

What did Robin say to Justin Beiber? You're gay. Angus L.

Whats worse than sleeping on a bed of hot coals? Lupus

What's black, white, and red all over? And interracial man with multiple stab wounds.

how do you drowned a blonde? put ankle weights on her and throw her in a river.

There was a blonde, a redhead, and a brunette on an island. This island is called England, and this situation tends to happen a lot.

Why did the jew cross the road Because he was being cornered by 10 nazis that had automatic guns

the more I study the more I know, the more I know the more I forget, the more I forget the less I know, why study?

Why couldn't the blonde do her homework? She had no fingers.

Your mama is so ugly, when she looks in the mirror it displays her reflection like all mirrors do

Your mom is so old, that when somebody told her to act her age, she died.

Knock knock! Who's there? Girl Scouts selling cookies! I'm not legally allowed within 500 yards of you. Please get off my property.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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