Why is a man like a packet of cards? Both are organic.

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What's black and white and red all over? A penguin that just got shot

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Penis

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Your boat breaks down on the highway. How many squirrels does it take to eat a bannana? Squirrels do not eat bannanas but it would probably take a monkey 1.5 milliseconds.

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What is a Mexicans favorite sport? Tennis.

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Why did the girl fall of the swings? Because she has no arms.

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-How do you befriend Tom Hanks? -Kidnap his son

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Why did the little girl fall of the swingset. She got kidnapt and raped by a giant scorpion.

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Q) Whats wet fishy and gets caught by fishermen? A) fish.

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What did the black girl say when sho dropped her phone? Oh crap, I dropped my phone.

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what do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question ................

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i should have been sad when my flashlight died.... but i was delighted.

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A Blonde walks into a bar. She is an abusive relationship and is drinking her pain away.

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What's black and white and red all over? I don't know either.

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Well, its Eliza again, sorry to bother you Nero, I always thought you where good looking but I know that when it comes to you its not about the looks, you are far more than meets the eye. Neo-Nero was the guy we met at a certain meeting, the arrogant guy with the big forehead whose arms where shaking remember? I wont reveal more for his sake, he did not mean bad, he was just angry like the rest of us and felt responsible, again like many of us. So when can we meet you? I assume you wont be arriving soon, but Id really apreciate seeing you again, and considering neither I nor my parents (I asked them) have the money to come visit you, id appreciate a loan or something.

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Q: What is the differenc between a lamborghini and a pile of dead babys? A: I dont have a lamborghini my garage.

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Why did the little boy drown? He was stapled to a whale.

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What did the ocean say to the beach? Nothing, oceans and beaches are both not alive, thus incapable of speech and feeling emotions

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violets are green roses are purple this makes total sense, cheeseburger

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Why could'nt Boris fit in with the other kids? His name was Boris.

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What do you look for in a woman? a pulse.

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Where is one place everyone eventually goes to rest? A cemetery.

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What do you call a clock with no hands? Broken.

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What Did batman say to robin before they got in the car..... Get in the car

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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