If life gives you lemons ask where they came from.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

when life throws you lemons you should probably get out of the way because it will hurt

thumb_up thumb_down -9

four people walk into a maze with a billion dollars in the middle.the people are santa clause, the easter bunny, a smart mexican, and a dumb mexican. Who gets the money. oviously the dumb mexican gets it. why you ask. because the other three are not real.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

what has small feet? a human being with a tiny proximity of feet matter.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the elephant fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second elephant fall out of the tree? Because it was attached to the first elephant. Why did the third elephant fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

cats, swimming, northpole ,sky, park , tree , bench, anti joke. shut up you have a skin disease!

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What do you call a black astronaut? It depends on what his name is.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

If someone throws a fridge at the boy then they must be exceptionally strong because fridges weigh more than the average human can lift therefor he has a good future ahead of him but will have to live with the fact that he hurt a small child

thumb_up thumb_down +20

How many dead babies does it take to paint a house? Depends on how hard you thro them

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What's grey and can't fly? A castle

thumb_up thumb_down -17

A man walks into a bar, muttering to himself. People stare at him because his severe Schizophrenia makes him stand out in social situations.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What is sticky and smelly - a stick

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What's black and white and red all over A nun falling down the stairs

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What is the difference between a bike and a baby? There are a lot of differences

thumb_up thumb_down +7

I'm off to my tank guys!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Is that a baby in your carriage or are you just happ..... WTF. WHERES ITS EYES!? **purges**

thumb_up thumb_down -32

What do you call a bookstore with explosive offers? Barnes and Cher-Noble.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why was 97 afraid of 98? Because 98,99, 100!

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Q: What do you get when you cross and owl with a bungie cord? A: My ass

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How did the baby survive the car accident? He didn't. He was killed on impact.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

who do you call when you see a ghost in your apartment? The Mental Hospital.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why do black people eat Kentucky Fried Chicken? Because there is Protein in chicken and without protein their bodies would succumb to such diseases as Kwashiorkor and Cachexia.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

The motto of those who live in the Bible Belt; "The Bible Belt: Where being obese is 'Genetic' but being homosexual is a 'lifestyle choice'."

thumb_up thumb_down +11

why did so many people die in the typhoon in the Philippines because they had to finish there math homework

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops