What do owls and cars have in common? Nothing.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To rape the hen.

Four blonds are driving to Disneyworld. They finally get to Florida and they see a sign that says "Disneyworld: left" so they turned around and went home

what's worse than the holocaust? nothing.

What has 2 legs and smells like fish A fish with 2 legs

Why was the boy sad he ate a loaf of bread? Because ducks ate him alive after that.

Roses are black. Violets are black. Everything is black. I'm blind.

What's small, black and at the top of a burning building? Oh shit - I forgot my baby

What's brown and sticky??? A brown stick

What do you call a supporter of Barrack Obama? A welfare recipient

finding nemo didnt make sense how could a shark go on a no fish diet

What is the difference between a jew and a boyscout? A boyscout comes back from camp.

What did the kid with no arms or legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

Why does an Irish cop wear a belt? To hold up his pants.

Why does the man leave the store, with two lemons in his shopping bag? Because lemons happened to be one of the items of food he had purchased.

What do you call a black man repairing a car? A mechanic who has worked very hard to gain his qualifiaction.

A horse walks into a bar. The barman says why the long face. The horse, unable to understand English shits on the floor and leaves

Q: What did the dumb blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios? A: Look! Donut seeds!

Why couldn't santa eat cookies and milk at little Jimmy's house? He has diabetes and is unable to stray from a strict diet prescribed by his local doctor.

why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible to try out for his school's football team. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

Q. Why was the blonde fired from the M+M factory? A.She was addicted to meth.

why is justin bieber so pale? Because he hasn't come out of the closet.

Question: What did Mr. Reeves say. Answer: Nothing

Why did the plane crash into a mountain? Because a Banana was flying it, and Bananas can't fly planes.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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