A Black man walks into the Dentist's office, because he cares about his hygiene.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To run away from ebola

What did the sheep say to the Commonwealth Committee on September 11 2001? Baabaaabaaaahhh

Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap ...in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations])That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

Q: What Would You Call Someone Who is 6 Foot and hairy. Answer: By His Or Her Name.

What did the wife say to the husband? I'm a man.

what did the gay man say to the pole? May i have this dance

why did the chicken cross the road? it wanted to why did the bubble gum cross the road? it was on the chickens foot

what the hell happened to your face

What does a pelican and a taxman have in common? Both are bipedal, both are carbon-based lifeforms that procreate by DNA replication, both in all probablility eat fish, both have survival instinct, both require fresh water for hydration, both have five senses; vision, hearing, touch, taste and smell, both are capable of at least limited cognition, and both can turn aggressive when provoked.

There once was a man from Peru. Who dreamed he was eating his shoe. I shot him in the head. With a bullet made of lead. And now he's dead. No more shoe ingestion

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it had sinned.

A man is gay, a parade is held in his honor. A man is black, a holiday is named after him. A man is white, he laughs at the stupidity in the world today.

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" So the horse says, "My ex-wife just got full custody of my kids and I'll never see them again."

Knock knock Who's there? The mailman The mailman who? The MAILMAN The MAILMAN who? I'm the Fu*king mailman now here's your MAIL!

Man :A homo-sexual panda walks into a gay bar. Homo-sexual Panda : Wait...wait I'm gonna stop you right there. I will not take part in this odd joke, so just ummmmmm ya. And another thing, my species is extremely offended by your inferior remarks. Why can't homosexual panda just have piece?

Why didn't the door open? Because it was locked

these guys im about to shoot owen,john,henry,shawn

What do andy and Justin Bieber have in common? they are both 5'7

Why did the child cry? It was beat up and thrown in a trashcan.

What's hotter than a woman who is face down and ass up? A woman who isn't tying her shoes.

What did you say? I'm blind. (Did not write this meaning to be offensive)

What's blue and rhymes purple? Get Out

What do your friends have in common with a tree? They both fall down when you hit them multiple time with an axe

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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