- Anti Joke

How do you drown a blonde? Force her head underwater until she can no longer breathe, thus shutting down her brain and killing her.

What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

women's rights

Why did the pumpkin stop using the jack hammer? Pumpkins cannot use power tools since they are nothing but orange gourds. But, [for sport] say this ‘pumpkin’ was incarnate; one could assume he was done with his demolition work. He then would return the portable drill to the rental facility and get his deposit back.

To whomever it may concern, You are currently reading this anonymous letter from someone anonymous. I’m currently watching you read this letter. I am not a threat. I am not Big Brother. I am someone anonymous. You will never find out who I am. You may have a few ideas of who this might be, but you will be wrong. Just know that I am watching you. That is all. I love you. All for Jesus -A

What shakes and twitches and can be found at the sea bottom? A scuba diver running out of oxygen.

How many jewish people can you fit in a Volkswagen? depending on the class of car but a mid range SUV can seat up to seven.

Q: why couldn't anyone hear hellen keller when she fell off a cliff? A: she was mute.

What did little Timmy find at the bottom of the well? The fact that he could no longer breathe and thus causing him to drown.

A hard-working man, in his early forties with slightly graying hair, arrives to work earlier every day. He values integrity and dedication. His loving wife is proud of his accomplishments and her favorite part of the day is when he arrives home from a day at the office. He is close friends with the Director of HR, because he believes that we all should be respected and treated fairly on the job. Today, there is a board meeting, which he prepared for extensively, because he cares deeply about what happens to this great company. His boss greets him after the meeting is done and says, "Great job, that presentation was even better than yours usually are." It was a very long meeting, so they both end up going to the Men's Room. What does he say when his boss corners him near the urinals and demands sex? Nothing. He doesn't like to talk during sex.

A Jew walks into a bar, he buys it.

Q-if you are what you eat ,does that make you cannibal? A- yes

What do Ethiopians do at night? Starve.

What do you call hunter ? An anerexic that is skinny as a tooth pick. Duh

If u wanna get high, smoke weed

Why did the cookie die Because a fat kid was hungry

T u r n i p s

Knock knock Get off my porch.

What did the chair say to the guy? Nothing, as it is a chair and chairs can't talk

your mommy so gehto shes black

Q:What did the hillbilly say when he lost his tractor? A: Where is my tractor

Roses are red Violets are blue i have a gun get in the van

What did the Albino say to the other albino? Due to heredity and our inheritance of Chromosomes causing albinism, We could be displaced in society but luckily, we have eachother. They went home and lived happily. But not ever after. That craps or normal people. (freaking albinos...)

How do you beat someone in a video game? You win it.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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