Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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a mother cow walks up to her three child cows. the first cow asks: "mom, why am i named rose?" the mother responds with: "because when you were a baby, a rose petal fell on your head." the second cow asks: "what about me, mom?" the mother says: "when you were a baby, a daisy petal fell on your head." the third cow says: "AAAAOOOOOOAOAOAOAOAOAOAOAOAO!" the mother screams: "SHUT UP REFRIDGERATOR."

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Men's rights Because its an anti-joke

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What do you call a mexican and a African? Two people with no water.

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Your boat breaks down on the highway. How many squirrels does it take to eat a bannana? Squirrels do not eat bannanas but it would probably take a monkey 1.5 milliseconds.

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A guys walks up to a drug dealing looking to score some drugs. The deal was made an the man quickly arrested the drug dealer because he was actually a undercover cop

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Shaun Sutton Call me: 1-800-tryhard ;)

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Homonyms should be band.

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what do German people eat at BBQ ' s ? burgers and hotdogs and kebabs and fried chicken with a garnish of summer salad washed down with a cold mouth tingling glass of coca cola and jews

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What did the farmer say to the cow on the roof? Get off the roof.

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What do Barney and a butchers knife have in common? One of them is purple

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Why did the Mexican mow the lawn? Because it was summer and the grass had extensive growth, so much so, that it proceeded to spread to his neighbors yard. His neighbor then called HOA, and thus, the unruly grass was taken care of.

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What did batman say to robin before they got into the batmobile? Get in the batmobile.

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Why are rich guys gay? Because they hang around other rich guys

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My friend asks me what my mom does for a living and i told him that she is a nurse. Then he says "That a good job because she is able to save lives". I quickly reply "She works in an abortion clinic".

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roses are red violets are blue this verse doesn't ryhme and neither does this one

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the water? You shouldn't call him anything. He needs help. -Tag

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What do you call a man who's a gynecologist, painter and respected martial arts champion? Talented.

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A man walks into the office for an appointment. The doctor proceeds to perform the usual examinations, before asking the man to turn his head and cough. As is standard, he feels the man's testicles to check for irregularities. The man jokes, "Say doc, couldn't you at least ask me to dinner first?" The doctor replies, "You have testicular cancer." He died a month later.

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A man shouts a women crossing the road "Oi, get your rat out love!" So she did, and it savaged his face.

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why do leprecon's laugh when they run through the grass? because it tickel's their balls

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Why did the black man get a life sentence in prison? Because he was involved a mass stabbing in a night club London which saw 4 local teenage girls lose there lives.

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What did the cop say to his belly? "Hey in there!"

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What happened when a black lady sat in the front on a bus? She didn't vomit because she could see the road, which helped with her motion sickness. Also the driver got in a better mood because he had company, and the lady was a pleasant person.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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