Roses are red. They also have thorns. Their family is Rosaceae and they are often given as gifts between lovers. They grow in well drained and fertile soils...

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Why did the boy throw butter out the window? Because he had uncontrollable muscle spasms.

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Why did the boy get hit by a wrecking ball? Because he picked up an upside down penny.

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Why did the boy eat the worm? Because his parents were starving him, and it was all he had.

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knock knock knocking on heavens douoor

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Roses are red Violets are blue Peas are green Plums are purple Thieves are black

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Two monkeys are sitting in a tree. One monkey looks to the other monkey and says, "I bet I can jump from this tree to the next tree without falling." The other monkey replies, "I'm sure you could. You're a monkey."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To rape a duck

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Why did the girl fall of her chair? The chair can only hold so much weight.

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What do you call a muslim who is not a terrorist ? A muslim

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A man goes to the doctor and says, "Doc, I don't know what to do! One day I'm a wig wam, the other day I'm a teepee, then I'm a wigwam, then I'm a teepee again!" The doctor sighs and replies,"Sir, we've been over this. You have stage four periodic cancer."

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm only 13 so if you have sex with me it's illegal.

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what is big, grey and sits in the middle of a field. A filing cabinet

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What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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What's worse than not finding your true love in high school? Dying

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Sure, if my waifu aproves, hell, the more the hornier. CONDOMS? ARE YOU INSANE? CONDOMS ARE FOR PUSSIES... ..:WHIIIIIICH sorta makes sense so okay, my for a moment I thought you where not gonna go trough with this... Nah just kidding, I already got you, now if you want to break free I am gonna be like "MEH!" So, uh, you shaven or not? Please dont be "trimmed", sometimes it just looks like a pussy with a mustachio, thats bullshit.

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What's the difference between a duck? An armchair because the vest has no sleeves.

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What's the difference between a car tyre and 365 used condoms? One is a Goodyear. The others a fucking great year!!! San2

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Do you know what does Wikipedia says about Elton John ? It says that Sir Elton Hercules John, CBE (born Reginald Kenneth Dwight; 25 March 1947) is an English singer-songwriter, composer and pianist. He has worked with his songwriting partner Bernie Taupin since 1967; they have collaborated on more than 30 albums to date.

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Slam! Slam! Slam! I'm a woodpecker. Slam! Slam! Slam! Except with dirt.

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Q: How do you make a five year cry twice? A: There are many ways, as children are generally not that adept at controlling their emotions. Loud noises, threats of violence, images of scary monsters... those tend to work. Be sure to let them stop crying before making them cry again, otherwise you will have only made them cry once.

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what is the difference between a cow?? there is no difference, you can't make a comparison between different object when there is only one object beïng named.

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What do an airplane and a strawberry have in common? They can both fly.... Except for the strawberry

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why couldn't jimmy play on the swings at recess.. Because he's been dead for 5 years

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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