How do you starve a zombie? You dont, they are allready dead.

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What's the deal with airline food? It's nourishing matter that sustains life, provides energy, and promotes growth distributed by flight attendants.

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What's worse then the WNBA? Nickelback.

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What's the difference between a McDonald's and Michael Jackson? One is a fast FOOD restaurant, while the other likes having sex with little boys.

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Wy was the lamp crying, because his mother turned into mashed potatoes.

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HEY YOU!!!!

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My son won the lottery. I shot him so I could have the money.

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Why did the jewish man pick up a nickel on the street? Because he understands the value of saving money.

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Your mother smells so bad that if she were alive in 1919 she would most likely be outlawed in the Geneva Convention or at least banished from conventional warfare among nations that adhere to the restrictions imposed by such a document

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why did the panda go to the store? to buy milk.

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Could switching to Geico really save you 15% or more on car insurance? Yes.

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Why didnt the boy eat his ice cream? Because he is dairy intolerant

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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An Englishman, and Irishman and a Scotsman are on a plane. The plan is carrying too much weight, and is destined to crash. They drop the luggage, but there is still too much weight on board. They drop the secondary engine, but there is still too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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How do you know when someone tells a bad joke? You don't find it humorous.

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Woman:I give my Heart to You! Man:Thank You!!! The Woman then dies because one can't live without a heart

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What do fat people and shinease people have in common? They both have a lot of chins.

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Roses are red violets are blue tulips are purple/pink

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Knock Knock Who's there? Pussy... Do you get it? Think about what you just answered.

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? a genetically disfigured fish please stop pollution.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken was trying to escape from the sad and depressing environment that surrounded him on the side he thus came from. Alas, he did not know that he would be soon hit by a drunk truck driver, who would also die, in a bright explosion of morbid flames and screams.

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What object do bananas look like? Bananas.

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yo mama so old she was a waiter at the last supper.

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Why did Jimmy pass out Cause he drank a full tallboy

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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