What do you call a gynochologist named John? John

Why couldn't the man get a job at the daycare? Because he was a serial killer/rapist.

Yo momma is so fat that she is at a high risk for heart disease and diabetes!

Q: How do you measure a ruler A: You don't.

???????????? ???????????? ???? ???? ???? ???? ???? A wild EXEGGUTOR appeared!

what did the maker of anti jokes website say while reading some of the jokes on here? these people r idiots. and he lived happily ever after. then died. Good one

Jimmy's mom: Jimmy go do your chores now!! Jimmy: You shut your mouth, whore. Get your smelly ass back in the kitchen!!!

A man has had too many beers late at night. The bartender says "Sir, I'm going to have to cut you off"

Do you know what is worse than getting kicked downstairs? Getting kicked upstairs because then you could fall downstairs and break your skull.

Roses are red, violets are blue, the face like yours belongs to the zoo. Please don't be sad, 'cos I'll be there too.. Not in the cage but laughing at you!

Three Arabian men are on a plane, they stand up, and shout BOMB, BOMB, BOMB! All three have Tourettes.

What did the vegetarian order for lunch? A dead baby.

Jamie stegman put many doodles into his mouth, sometimes 2,3 even 5.

Knock knock? Whose there? Colin Come in

Q. Why did the girl with no legs fall off her bike? A. Somebody threw a refrigerator at her.

Two Jews walk into a bar. They promptly order their drinks and then leave.

Did you know Helen Keller had a playhouse in her backyard? Well if you didn't, it was quite nice. I was her neighbor.

Three men are on a plane (note this is a low altitude plane) they're are going on they're 2nd grizzly bear hunting trip in Alaska. they crash into a mountain and all die. except the pilot. he left the wreckage and died from the freezing temperatures of an Alaskan winter.

book 'em danno

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock Who's there Not Sally

Three blind mice go into a pub, but they are unaware of their surroundings so to derive humour from it would be exploitative.

What do a priest, a rabbi, and an asian have in common? They all don't know each other.

There once was a man from Nantucket I raped him. The End.

Three guys, stranded on a desert island, find a magic lantern containing a genie, who grants them each one wish. The first guy wishes he was off the island and back home. The second guy wishes the same. The third guy wishes the same.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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