two muffins were in an oven, one muffin said to the other, " ohmygod! its so hot in here!" the other muffin said,"AHHHHHH!!!! its a talking muffin!!"

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Q- Why was Dan mourning the death of his wife? A- He wasn't he was mourning the death of his daughter who was killed in the same car crash as her mother.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the chess grandmaster lose his mind? Because he died of old age.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

okay so three men are in a plane ( this is the type of plane you can open the windows) so the stewardess goes up to the first man he asks for a gun she agrees but hes gotta throw it out the window he confused but he does it anyways the stewardess goes to the second man he asks for a beer she agrees but he has to throw it out the window hes confused but he does it anyways the stewardess walks up the the third man he asks for a pack of C4 she agrees but hes gotta throw it out the window without hesitation he gets it and throws it out the window. so they land and the first man sees a women crieing i was walking down the street and got hit in the head by a gun and arested for being armed the second man sees a hobo cheering loudly hes says he was sleeping in the ally and it started raining budlight the third man shes a women hysterically laughing she says i was going to work and spilled my coffe then my house blew up!

thumb_up thumb_down -22

42

thumb_up thumb_down +16

There once was a man named Trevor. Trevor was walking casually through the forest one day. All of a sudden, a wolf leapt out from the trees. The wolf said, in a harsh voice, "Hey man! This is my patch". But then Trevor woke up and realised that his hallucinations were symptoms of a degenerative brain disease.

thumb_up thumb_down

What do you call a person with no life. Dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

How do you fit 100 dead babies into a box? Put them into a blender.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

knock knock. Who's there? The delivery man.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why couldn't billy hear his mom on the phone? Because Billy is deaf.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why was the T-Rex so bad at math? Cause it was stupid

thumb_up thumb_down +56

Q: Why is the sky green? A: It's not

thumb_up thumb_down -13

POOP.............................................. ITS THE FUNNEST WORD OF ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Wanna hear a great joke? (any answer) Your dad's choice of condom.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Two children are opening presents for Christmas. Daughter: "Look how many beautiful things I've got, look how much parents love me! And you got a Jo-Jo! Ha-ha!" Son*playing with Jo-Jo*: "Yeah, some of us have Jo-Jo, and some of us leuchemia. Ha-ha."

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What does the kid with no arms and no legs get for christmas? A: arms and legs

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Q: Whats red and not a penis A: A lot of things

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Knock, knock. Come in.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What happened when a 16 year old guy went over to his friends party? found out he wasn't friends with anyone there, got kicked out and committed suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

My wife has terminal cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What do you call a penis without hair? Apple sause

thumb_up thumb_down +46

What is small, red all over and gets shorter by the second? A baby cutting its hair with a potato peeler

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why does Brianne cry? Because she has no family.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A man walks into a bar and orders a strong drink Bartender: Why the long face Man: My wife was recently killed in a horrible car accident Bartender: Oh my god, I'm so sorry Man: Jks I have AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops