Why did the chicken cross the road? Because I told him to. I'm very influential.

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whats yellow and cant swim? a bulldozer,

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Q: What's a Mexican's favorite sport? A: Cross Country

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A man walks into a bar. I don't know what happened next because I was waiting outside for my friend.

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What time will the little girl get up for school? Never, she died in her sleep.

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roses are blue violets are blue everything is blue I'm sad now

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"Knock knock" "The doors open" "Oh, okay"

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

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what do you call a gay guy in a sleeping bag? a fruit roll-up. GET IT? because gay guys like fruit roll-ups.

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An Irishman walks into a club. "Ow, that was almost as painful as that time I walked into a bar."

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What's big and white?

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Whats green and has wheels? A Rednecks front lawn.

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There's a cat, a dog, a rat and a goat... I don't know how the goat got in there?

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You might be a redneck if you spent all day in the sun without sunscreen.

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-It ain't over till the fat lady sings -she just did -oh, I guess it's over then -k

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What's brown, dirty, and smells like feces? Feces

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What was the first thing the mother did when her baby was born? Weep. The baby was a was a stillborn.

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Roses are red violets are blue if you were number one I"ll pick number two, if you were number two then I'll pick POO!

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i wish i was a tree !

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Jokes=Funny Anti=Opposite Anti+Joke=Anti Joke Anti Joke= Anti Humour Anti Humour + People= Offensive Jokes Offensive Jokes= Often jokes about women Offensive Jokes=Problems Women=Problems

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What is the best game in the world? There is no answer because that would be an opinion and opinions cannont be proved or measured.

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What do retards eat for lunch? Grilled Cheese

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Heat oven to 375°. Grease 18 regular-size muffin cups (or 12 large size muffins). In bowl, mix butter until creamy. ... Add eggs one at a time, beating after each. Beat in vanilla, baking powder and salt. With spoon, fold in half of flour then half of milk into batter; repeat. Fold in blueberries.

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No, Sarah. You know your hooks scratch the keys.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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