OMG YOU BOUGHT ME FLOWERS THANK YOU

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What's black and blue and hates sex? The unfortunate child in a pedophile's basement who the police have yet to find.

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How do you confuse a blond? Nordic mytholigi. That is, if shes american

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What's a ghost's favorite color? Usually whatever their favorite color was in life.

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whats worse than 100 babies strapped to an atomic bomb? 1 baby strapped to 100 atomic bombs

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What happened to the boy who ditched his friends and lied to them...? His appendix exploded.

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Why didn't Jane buy an ice-cream? Because she was lactose intolerant.

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I dont often wash my hands in the bathroom but when i do its so people dont think im gross.

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A 21 year old man walks into a bar with a vase of 12 roses. 57 years later he died after a lengthy battle with colon cancer.

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What happened when the prisoner dropped the soap? He picked it up.

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- Women have rights, aren't they? - Yes, they have.

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What do a bicycle and a platypus have in common? They both have wheels, except the platypus doesn't.

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What kind of cookies does a pedophile order from the girl scouts? Samoas...pedophiles love coconut.

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How does an electrician install an outlet? I don't know. I'm not an electrician.t

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Mike tyson

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What do Robbers Get for Christmas? Other peoples things.

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What do you get when you mix a fox and a sloth? a..FOTH

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Whats better than sitting here writing anti jokes? Sitting in ENGLISH and writing anti jokes. Shoutout to Link Deas

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why is 5 afraid of 6? it isnt

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Why couldn't the Hispanic guy become a firefighter? Because the fire chief was racist.

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Knock Knock Who's there? It is actually not a good idea to say "who's there" to the random person outside. The man could be a robber or a murderer, and will realize a person is inside. He could bomb the door down and do anything to kill you. You should look through the window first, or through the little peep hole. If the person outside is an acquaintance, then you can respond. However it is best to not reply and leave the stranger alone. Safety is key to living a happy joyful life.

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How do you kill a blonde? A gun, knife, there are a number of ways really...

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Jesus, Buddha and Mohamed walked into a bar and say: "There is as much validity in this fiction as in our collective works.

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This is a joke.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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