There are 2 men are standing on the roof of a building, one of them jumps off, the other one is named Peter

What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech? One is a blood-sucking parasite, and the other practices law for a living.

You know what really grinds my gears? Shifting into "park" before my car's fully stopped.

What's worse than locking your keys in ur at outside of an abortion clinic? Going in side and asking for a coat hanger!!

What did the Atheist say in the church? His best friend's eulogy.

Have you heard that Hitler and Osama Bin Laden share a room with saton in hell

Popsicles

WOMAN! I am not a sweetheart at the core, I am slightly sweet on the outside and really really dark and cruel on the inside, so I can trick people into loving me before I consume them! Anyway, sure, I will get to it, first thing when I wake up, like 8 hours from now okay? Moral: Seriously? Are you hoping to see a sweetheart at my core?

I wish I Charlie Sheen's Dealer.

Who the hell is Femi Otedola?

What's the difference between a Jew and a piece of coal? The coal doesn't scream when you burn it.

boy1: whats blue and goes blub blub? boy2:i dont know boy1:a blue blub blub boy1: whats green and goes blub blub? boy2:a green blub blub boy1:no. there is no such thing called a green blub blub

Why was Sally gone for her father's birthday? She went on a camping trip with her friends. Sally's friends were brutally murdered and she was kidnapped. The kidnapper cut off her arms and legs and left her in the middle of a suburban intersection late at night. The autopsy revealed that Sally died from blood loss from losing her limbs. It also revealed that she had contracted a fast growing tumor in her brain which would have most likely killed her within days of the murder anyway. Her family was living in the country illegally so her DNA did not reveal a computer file of her person. Her parents were not informed of her death for years because of this. When it was determined that the victim was the parents' daughter they were arrested for living in the country illegally and were not able to have a funeral.

What's big, grey and can't swim? A castle

Like this joke, bitch.

Baseball

When Chuck Norris is bitten by a zombie, Chuck Norris doesn't turn into a zombie, the zombie turns into Chuck Norris

A soccer player, a basketball player, a football player, a hockey player, and a baseball player all walk into a bar at different time periods of the day

what did the duck say to the dog. quack

whats worse then a baby with out floaties?.......beating your grandma to death with a puppy

knock knock who's there peedo peedo who scissors

Why was 6 afraid of 8 because 8 kidnap 7

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? None, now stop hallutinating about wood chuck.

2 black people and a mexican are in a car. Who's driving? The black person because they decided it would save gas if they all carpooled to their job.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...