why does everyone like this website? ... because every other joke a little baby is dying.

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What does the young boy say to the gay man Hello Jacob, because he was raised to respect and treat gays equally

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What did Tom get for Christmas? Gloves, but Tom had no arms.

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Why did nobody answer when billy knocked on the door? Billy was a loaf of bread.

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What did the drug addict get for Christmas? He got hepatitis, fired from his job, and nothing from his family because their relationship was badly damaged by his addiction.

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Q: why do orphans always go hard? A: because the can never go home.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? -Hey! Where's my tractor?

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How do you make a burns victim cry? You show them a mirror.

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A kitten walks into a bar and orders a saucer of milk. Everyone enjoys the novelty of his presence.

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What's worse than the holocaust? anti-joke

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ballsack

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What is white, sticky, and something that gay people and women love? Frosting.

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Q: whats worse than finding a worm in your apple A: the holocaust

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How do u keep annoying children off your front lawn? Molest Them.

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Why did Jimmy lay down? Because he was tired

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What do you call a blind person? Mack Despard

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What do you call a guy who died in a stampede? Grandpa.

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A mum and a dad were having guests round for dinner. The daughter overheard them arguing. Dad was calling mum a b*tch and mum was calling dad a b*stard. The daughter asked them what it meant and they just said, "oh, it just means ladies and gentlemen". Later, when mum was doing her makeup, she dropped it and said oh "sh*t". Daughter asked what it meant and mum replked "it's just another word for makeup". After that, dad dropped the turkey and said "oh, F*ck!" Daughter asked what it meant and he replied "its another word for cooking". When the guests arrived, the daughter answered the door, and said "hello b*tches and b*stards. Mums upstairs stuffing sh*t on her face and dads in the kitchen f*cking the turkey".

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You know what makes me smile? Face muscles.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Um...thats impossible because chickens live on farms theyre are no roads....

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Uh, summa lumma dooma lumma you assuming I'm a human What I gotta do to get it through to you I'm superhuman Innovative and I'm made of rubber, so that anything you say is Ricochet in off a me and it'll glue to you And I'm devastating more than ever demonstrating How to give a motherfuckin' audience a feeling like it's levitating Never fading, and I know that haters are forever waiting For the day that they can say I fell off, they'll be celebrating 'Cause I know the way to get 'em motivated

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what do u say to a man walking down the street nothing, u shouldnt talk to strangers

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A man went to his doctor and said, "Doctor, every time I hit my hand with a hammer, it hurts!" Then both him and his doctor died; so it didn't matter.

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Two blonds walk into a building....they couldnt see it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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