Knock knock Who's there? I eat myp.

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What is the difference between a Jew and a pizza? The pizza doesn't scream when riding on a roller coaster.

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Why did the child step on a ball?

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Why didn't Josh go to school? On his way to school, a majestic flying homeless man hit him in the head with a sea cucumber.

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what do you call a fish with no gills? I dont know what youd call that creature...but its no fish.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? I threw a refrigerator at it

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how did the bling man cross the street? He didn't half way there he tripped and got ran over by a car.

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What is the best thing about having sex with twenty-seven year old's? There's twenty of them

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Q. What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A. Where's my tractor?

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i was raised in a bad family. i was the youngest and i was abused then i died three years back. then i died again and then i died again then i died again then again then i LIVED but then i died again then i died again then i died again then i died again

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Roses are red,Violets are blue, Who the hell are you,Get the hell away

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? I do not know because it depends on the woodchuck; however, if some statistical evidence is gathered on the average amount of wood a woodchuck could chuck you most likely would get a close answer, considering that the statistical research was not flawed.

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What do you call a woman who loves sex and food? A fat wh0re.

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Why did Sally fall off the Empore State Building? Her mother threw a refrigerator at her. -BG

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Why don't rhetorical questions need answers? Because that is what makes them rhetorical.

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What's blue and thrashes about on the floor? A baby playing in a plastic bag. How do you make a man pregnant? Stick a dead baby up his ass! How do you stop a baby falling down a manhole? Stick a javelin through it's head. How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends how hard you throw them. -S

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A hiker gets lost on a trail and ends up wondering deep into the woods. He comes upon an amish farm. He knocks on the door and an amish man answers. The hiker explains his predicament, and the amish man says "sure you can stay in barn, but promise me one thing, don't have sex with my daughter". The hiker says "of course I won't". He then goes to the barn. Right before the hiker falls asleep. The amish farmer comes in and says "make sure you don't have sex with my daughter". The hiker says "of course not". So the next morning the hiker is rested, well fed and is about to leave when the amish man approaches and says, "Thank you being decent and christian like."

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What's the difference between Harry Potter and the Jews? Harry Potter can escape the chambers.

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*Knock-Knock* "Who's there?" "The police, you're under arrest for the murder of your wife and your two children."

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A black guy gets arrested...

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Q. What did the barber say to the Italian kid? A. Do you want your hair cut or should I just change the oil.?

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what bounces and is blue all over? a blue bouncy ball

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My dog has no nose. How does it smell? It doesn't

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Why did the little girl fall off the swings? Because at the climax point in the swing, gravity is making a much larger affect on you because you are pulling farther away from the earth as well as positioning your body in a way where it is awkward and unstable to support your body, which greatly increases the chance of you falling off and landing on the ground.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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