Why doesn't Julius Caesar answer his cell phone? Because he's DEAD.

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Knock. Knock. Who's there? Alzheimer. Who?

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A blonde girl walks into a hairdressers and asks for a slight trim. She leaves the hairdressers fairly happy with the result although she was unhappy with the price which she later concluded was most likely because of the rising inflation. However overall she felt it had been a successful outing.

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Did you hear about the blind carpenter who picked up his hammer and saw? Did you hear about the deaf shepherd who gathered his flock and heard (herd)? If you don't understand these, use your dictionary and look up the words "blind," "deaf," "saw," "heard" and "herd." http://gpsphone-tracker.com/

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Why couldn't the old man see? Because he was stabbed in the eye.

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Q: You and a thousand other people are suddenly bursting in flames at a park, there is a big barrel of water just a few steps away from you, what do you do in order to save the people that truly matter? A: Stop drop and roll, duh!

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Roses are 3:18 Violets are 3:18 I Just figured out a pattern. And saved peoples lives with the help of Keifer Sutherland.

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A minor, her mom, her aunt and a marine went out drinking...they had a fun night

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What do black people and white people have in common? They are both mentioned in this box

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why did the black guy talk to the monkey? they were in the same cage.

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a Ferrari? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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What would you do for a Klondike Bar? Well I would open the freezer.

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What do you call a person from China? Chinese, duh.

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Suicide Johnny and the Go Kill Yourselves

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doctor,doctor my eyesight is getting worse, you are certainly right, this is the post office

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kkk

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? It's the police, they ask the questions.

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What did the blind man say to the train conductor? Nothing. He was mute too.

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Do you want to hear a good anti-joke? Well I don't have one.

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Life is like a box of chocolates. Well...not really no. It's not.

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How do you know to start calling a fetus a baby? If it cries when you abort it.

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The indistinguishable bug corrupts a bond arrow.

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A guy orders soup at the resturant and says to the waiter, "will you try this soup?" The waiter says "what is it too hot?" the guy says "just try the soup." the waiter asks "Is it too cold?" the guy sais just try the soup." the waiter says "fine, where's the spoon?" AHAHHH!!!

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What did the black man get his mom for Mother's Day? Some jewelry and a very nice card.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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