What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Mommy, why did daddy leave? Because you touch yourself at night sweetie.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

why was the little girl crying? Because her family was dead

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Your momma's so stupid, she has a lower than average IQ!

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Q: What starts with "F" and ends with "uck"? A: "Fred is raping your sister with a puck."

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why couldn't the little pirate see the movie? He was busy

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, i was dropped on my head as a baby, 978e456293&*(^$%ZYI467z57967454^&4543^%$54#%^*44jffdGHFYI

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Pencils are yellow, Grass is green OK

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Why was the potatoe hot Cuz I cooked it

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why do Eskimos build igloos? Because it is the most practical form of habitation for their climate zone, lifestyle, and availability of materials.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the boy not wake up on time for school? He was fucking dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What happened to the guy that took to many lunesta pills? He fell asleep but he was glad it was the weekend or he would have been late for his job

thumb_up thumb_down -18

A: Knock Knock B: (No Reply) Nobody is home and the man trying to get in will come back later and try again.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why did sally fall off the swing? Because her grandfather hit her with a wrench.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Well, neither has he.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

what did the brick say to the other brick? hello. the guy next to the bricks was shocked and went home and killed his wife then later higherd an indian man to give him a lapdance.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What is frowned upon no matter what country you're in? Sex on a plane.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

why did jimmy's mom fall off the cliff? i dont know.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

God Does exist to all thoes atheist out there!!! All you have to have is faith. I corinthians 1:18 "for the message of the cross is foolishness to thoes who are perishing, but for thoes who are saved it is the power in christ Jesus!! <3

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Q: Why are black people black? A: Cause they're from Africa.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

SURFIN' BIRD (Frazier - White - Harris - Wilson) THE TRASHMEN (GARRETT 4002, 1963) A-well-a everybody's heard about the bird B-b-b-bird, bird, bird, b-bird's the word A-well-a bird, bird, bird, the bird is the word A-well-a bird, bird, bird, well the bird is the word A-well-a bird, bird, bird, b-bird's the word A-well-a bird, bird, bird, well the bird is the word A-well-a bird, bird, b-bird's the word A-well-a bird, bird, bird, b-bird's the word A-well-a bird, bird, bird, well the bird is the word A-well-a bird, bird, b-bird's the word A-well-a don't you know about the bird? Well, everybody knows that the bird is the word! A-well-a bird, bird, b-bird's the word A-well-a... A-well-a everybody's heard about the bird Bird, bird, bird, b-bird's the word A-well-a bird, bird, bird, b-bird's the word A-well-a bird, bird, bird, b-bird's the word A-well-a bird, bird, b-bird's the word A-well-a bird, bird, bird, b-bird's the word A-well-a bird, bird, bird, b-bird's the word A-well-a bird, bird, bird, b-bird's the word A-well-a bird, bird, bird, b-bird's the word A-well-a don't you know about the bird? Well, everybody's talking about the bird! A-well-a bird, bird, b-bird's the word A-well-a bird... Surfin' bird Bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbb... [retching noises]... aaah! Pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa- Pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-ooma-mow-mow Papa-ooma-mow-mow Papa-ooma-mow-mow, papa-ooma-mow-mow Papa-ooma-mow-mow, papa-ooma-mow-mow Ooma-mow-mow, papa-ooma-mow-mow Papa-ooma-mow-mow, papa-ooma-mow-mow Papa-ooma-mow-mow, papa-ooma-mow-mow Oom-oom-oom-oom-ooma-mow-mow Papa-ooma-mow-mow, papa-oom-oom-oom Oom-ooma-mow-mow, papa-ooma-mow-mow Ooma-mow-mow, papa-ooma-mow-mow Papa-a-mow-mow, papa-ooma-mow-mow Papa-ooma-mow-mow, ooma-mow-mow Papa-ooma-mow-mow, ooma-mow-mow Papa-oom-oom-oom-oom-ooma-mow-mow Oom-oom-oom-oom-ooma-mow-mow Ooma-mow-mow, papa-ooma-mow-mow Papa-ooma-mow-mow, ooma-mow-mow Well don't you know about the bird? Well, everybody knows that the bird is the word! A-well-a bird, bird, b-bird's the word Papa-ooma-mow-mow, papa-ooma-mow-mow

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Enough Red to share, RAWR! With me only though! But hey, do me a favor wear your glasses not your contact lenses. "That anime" do you watch anime? Or hentai or whatever?

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What did little John get for his birthday? No sort of disease or illness of any kind because he was in perfect health. He also got an Xbox.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

what do you call a professional gamer Their name

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops