Why was the boy sad? Because his pet bird couldn't fly. Why couldn't the bird fly? Because it was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Your momma's so fat that when she uses a hoolahoop, she cant use it, she is fat.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do you call a black man riding a bicycle? A good citizen who cares about the environment.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Whats black and blue and doesnt bruise? a bruise.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

what's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? one is fun to hit with a sledge hammer, and one is a watermelon

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the koala fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the tree fall over? The koala forgot to let go.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

whats worse than the holocaust? nothing

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A priest, a nun, and a rabbi walk into a bar. There's a massive earthquake and the bar collapses to the ground, killing everyone inside.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A grasshopper hops into a bar. The bartender looks down at him and says "Hey, we have a drink named after you." the grasshopper looks up at the bartender...then proceeds to hop along because Grasshoppers can't communicate with humans. Then several of the bars patrons looked at the bartender, worried for his mental health.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

"Smithers, I'm home!" "What, already?" "Yes."

thumb_up thumb_down -5

why did the teenaged girl cry? she was about to have an abortion

thumb_up thumb_down -9

"It smells like Up dog in here." "How do you know what the dog from the movie "Up" smells like? It's computer-animated and not real." "I...I think I have a brain tumor..."

thumb_up thumb_down +9

The Barackness Monster

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Roses are gray Violets are gray I am a dog

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Why are anti jokes not funny.... Because they make sense.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Knock Knock. Doors open

thumb_up thumb_down +21

how do you confuse a blonde? tap her on both shoulders

thumb_up thumb_down -16

There once was a rose that was red Violets are blue Knock Know who's there? Man I gotta quit huffing glue

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why was the teacher sad? Because her boyfriend broke up with her.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Q. What's the difference between a Mcdonalds employee and a gynecologist? A. They have different jobs.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

How do u put an elephant in a refrigerator? -open it up and put it in How do u put a girraffe in a refrigerator? -open it up take out the elephant and put it in All the animals it the world are at a party in Florida. Which one didnt go? -the girraffe, it was in the frige Your trying to cross a river. A sign says alligators everywhere. U have no boat and no bridges. How do u get across? - swim the alligators are at the party in florida

thumb_up thumb_down +1

My pet rock died.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What did the one man say to the other? Nothing, they didn't know eachother

thumb_up thumb_down +41

wh did a man all of his bike? It was a wet and slippery day, he had a lack of control and concentration

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops