Edward and Bella looked at each other. Then they both died. Oh, and Jacob is actually a transvestite.

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A gay Asian guy walks into a gay bar where he found a fruity looking black man... The Asian went up to the black man and said, " how'r they hanging?" shocked with anger, the black man hits him in the face, knocks him to the ground and said, " YOU DO NOT TALK TO MY FAMILY THAT WAY. BOTH MY GRANPARENTS WERE LYNCHED!!!" the Asian stands up and brushes himself off... He turns to the black guy and says " I meant the balance scale at the table you were were sitting at" the black fellow turns to the table with the notebook and the balance scale with rocks on both sides that he was sitting at... He turns back to the Asian man and apologizes for his rude behavior and buys him a drink... (2 hours later) they have sex

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Hey, I'm Schrödinger, and this is crazy! But here's a sealed box... the cat lives, maybe...

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Two cannibals were eating a clown. Good.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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8

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whats big and green, andif it falls from a tree , it can kill you? a golfcourse

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You're such a dork you were found on the bottom of a whale.

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knock knock how there me ok come in

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Chicken eats your pie filled with monkey guts!!

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What does andy and burger king have in common? Nothing, thats why she is now banging josh!

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Why do so many black people like watermelon? The same reason so many white people, do. Have you had that stuff, it's really good!

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what did batman say to robin to get him into the car? Get in the car

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How many jews do you need to change a lightbulb? -One.

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what did the man do when he went to save the other man from drowning? drowned with him...

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Why did the mathematician cross the road? To get his mail.

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What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One is fun to smash and the other one is a watermelon.

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Robocop and T-800 argue over who can run the fastest, Robocop claims he is the fastest, while T-800 says that he is the fastest. To settle things once and for all, they start a race. At first T-800 seems to be leading Then the T-800 is leading by a great distance. moments later the T-800 has a huge lead. But then suddenly, without any warning, the race shifts! T-800 is now leading only by a great distance! Yet in a amazing, and completely unexpected plot-twist. T-800 wins! Moral: :O

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If life throws you melons, you should do your best to avoid them. Large and hard objects such as melons can easily harm you if moving at high speeds. Fortunately, life is not a physical entity that can throw melons or anything else - so the chances of this event occurring to you are exceedingly low.

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i want to eat a horse out jaffa cake

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This is a joke...that your supposed to laugh at.

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A man dressed as a woman gets hit in the nuts they fall to the ground in pain

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What's green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels

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When is a door not a door? Never.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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