What did the red fish say to the blue fish? Nothing fish can't talk.

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Situation: 2 cows eating grass on a warm Sunday night. Question: Why does 9+4=3 1/2? Answer: 69!

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So a guy says to his dog "hey man when you piss in the toilet can you please flush, just because I don't like to look at your pee." then the dog sits back and says "...woof !!"

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"bus driver pressed the horn at my mum and she stuck a finger up at him " Not the first time she's got the horn and shoved a finger up

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Why do bears go to school on Sunday's? They don't, bears don't go to school.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas?? - Cancer

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I slept through the Dark Knight movie....turns out I was pretty tired.

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Why did the short man fall down the stairs? He got shot in the face with an assault rifle.

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A black man walks into a store and grabs something off of a shelf. He walks briskly towards the door and pauses, looking sneakily left and right to make sure nobody else is around. He also looks and sees that the security camera is not facing him. Seeing as nobody is watching him, he quickly turns towards the counter beside the door and pays for the item with his own debit card, knowing that nobody can see him enter his PIN.

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What's a green tasty vegetable? None, they're vegetables.

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how do yopu punish helen keller? Ground her, just like you would with any other child.

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whats funny and has four wheels? A handicapped 11 year old boy getting raped by his father

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What's worse than finding half a worm in your Apple ? The holocust .

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A Chinese man walks into a bar. With his thick accent, he finds it difficult to order drinks.

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What's a computer without Internet? A computer.

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What did one wall say to the other? Walls don't talk.

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how do you upset a black guy kill his family :)

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How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie-roll center of a tootsie-pop? zero if you bite it

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roses are red violets are blue i am black and so r u

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Everybody will die

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what does nike and the kkk have in common? Nothing as one is a brand of clothing ie;shoes, hoodies, etc. while the other is a racist cult formed in the 19th century which persecuted african americans.

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how did the cat call 9-1-1? very carefully as cats do not have opposable thumbs, making the whole situation rare, and semi-improbable.

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Why did the man die when he hugged the pillow? He was hallucinating at the grand canyon.

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who would win in a gang battle? WEST COAST SWAG

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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