It's your mother, open the door.

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Q. I look in a mirror. What do I see? A.My reflection

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How do you confuse a blonde? Put her in a circle and tell her to sit in the corner.

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What do you get when you have 5 Russians, a few 8 year olds, and guns? A kidnapping

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What is worse than torture? Not much.

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You know what they say about fat thumbs? They give a lot of accidental comment likes on statuses.

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Why was the Magic: The Gathering player a virgin? Because he was underage and it would have been immoral for him to have had sex.

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So a Jewish, Hispanic, and Asian man are on a plane. The pilot turns to them and says "aren't you tired of this?"

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How do you make a toddler run faster? Chase it with a lawnmower.

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What did the man say to his wife before she made him a sandwhich? Do your job and make me a sandwhich.

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I wouldn't consider the Titanic sinking to be a disaster, ????It is better down where it is wetter under the sea! ????.

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Why doesn't the farmer have a dog? He doesn't like dogs.

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What do u call a matthew vasquez with a guitar, a one man mariachi band... cuz he is mexican

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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What do you have Canasta!!! Were not playing canasta you stupid asshole

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What's for dinner? Flesh from when your brother was alive and your blood.

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So you are "The Nero" are you not? How ironic... ...I got nothing on you, let me ask you however, why did you quit the underground society? What changed your lifestyle so much? I mean I accept that you did not do it out of fear or cowardice, but why did you leave it up to the rest of us to try to hold together the last remains of freedom and social information? What? To use your techniques in order to entrance people into buying your books? How is that so different? I am not saying that I consider your methods lesser, because nobody here does, but if you can explain how this makes you better, I would appreciate it, I am certain that most people would.

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you know whats not funny white boards.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? You pour cold water on her head or make a loud noise nearby.

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Why did the flight attendant look scared every time every time she saw a muslim get on the airplane? Because her family got murdered in front of her before she came to work

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what did the man say to the person he hates? nothing!

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Why did the White man scream when he saw a Black man? Because he was scared.

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Knock Knock? Who's their. M. M who? Me.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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