So a magician was driving down the road and then he turned into a driveway!

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Two Mexicans are at the border and want to cross it. How do they cross it? Illegally

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No, I still have to make sense of some facts bits and pieces here, and thinking is pretty much the only thing I can do at this moment, so why would my doppelganger wannabe call me from her mothers place?

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"Knock Knock" "Come in"

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Why did the plane crash into the mountain? The Pilot was a tomato

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why do elephants eat peanuts? so they can save the wrappers for valuable prizes

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What do you call a 9 year old with no friends? A Sandyhook survivor.

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poop

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What is older than history?

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What does a ghost get when he watches pornography? A boner

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Whats better than 7 babies tied to 1 tree 1 baby tied to 7 trees

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What did one pole say to the other pole? We are both from poland

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Welcome to die!

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What did the bartender say to the upset horse? GET OUT OF MY BAR!!!

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Why did the chicken cross the road ? To get to the other side Why did the lollipop cross the road ? It was stuck to the chicken's head Why did the chicken commit suicide ? He couldn't get the lollipop off its head

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Why did the goat cross the road. To put his sacrifices into the pentagram.

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What did the alien discuss with the other alien? Something we discussed.

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What's red and weighs a metric ton? An apple, my scale wasn't calibrated

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Do not be unreasonable now, as for the twenty five million dollars, it is the least I can do, but if we cannot agree upon acting with some reason and dignity, as refraining from insults, then no conflict will ever be solved... ...I will send you my contact information shortly, expect the money within the week, three or four days tops. Would you be interested in learning more about our order? We make good use of people such as you. With all due respect, I would not exactly lend my sister to anybody that brags about engaging into intercourse with his own sister.

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Q: How do Hellen Keller's parents punish her? A: They give her a timeout

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Whats long and hard on a black man..... 2nd grade

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what's brown and sticky? a stick.

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Guest what in the butt

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A dog walks into a bar, animal control is called and he is put down as he is suffering from rabies.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops