when do you go to heaven? Never

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That awkward moment when Amish mingle has a member

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Is your friend gay? Yeah, duh, of course he's happy.

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What's got eight legs and one eye? Two chairs and half a pigs head.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? The Batmobile only seats one, you'll have to take the bike Boy Wonder.

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Why did Max drink the red Gatorade? Because he likes it more than all of the other flavors.

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Your momma is so hot your dad married her. She then slept around with other men. Your dad found out and now they're divorced.

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I woke up this morning and ran five miles. I am proud of myself for engaging in such a healthy lifestyle.

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How do you make a baby crawl in circles? Nail its hand to the floor. How do you make a baby stop crawling? Nail the other one to the floor.

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Why did the man run away from the cat? He was allergic

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Why did the black man have drugs? He had a very serious medical condition that involved putting himself at a high risk at any time without proper medications, therefore he requires drugs to sustain him and hopefully prevent him from dying. To immediately believe that he was in possession of illegal drugs is a very racist assumption that is representative of one of the numerous racial problems that faces our society today.

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How many anti-jokes does it take to change a light bulb? Since anti-jokes are not concrete objects, any change would have to occur metaphorically or abstractly. The number of anti-jokes required would then be irrelevant.

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How many dead babes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? its not possible because there all dead

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Haikus are easy But sometimes they don't make sense Refrigerator

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Why was Joey bad at playing the trumpet? He had no fingers.

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A Irish man walks our of a bar

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why did the circus boy not do his homework? because he was in a coma.

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What's worse than finding half of a worm in an apple? a razorblade.

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When is a door not a door? When it is thrown away. Then, it will likely decompose in a landfill or be recycled into another product. In either case, it will no longer be a door.

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guess what my nephew said today? oh ya i forgot, hes dead..

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Which is correct grammar: 'I hasn't a penis got' or 'I doesn't a penis has'? Answer: They're both wrong.

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What do Kim Kardashian and a broken-down horse have in common? They will both eat oats out of your hand.

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What did the chicken say when it crossed the road? Nothing. Chickens can't talk.

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A man walks into a bar. He then meets some friends and has a rather enjoyable night.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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