what did the paraplegic man get for Christmas? a unicycle

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What's the difference between the NBA and the WNBA? What's the WNBA?

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It's not gay until eyes meet or tips touch.

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Why did the blonde flunk out of school? Because she was a fucking idiot.

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Whys it so cold? Nuclear winter.

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What is green and smells like paint? Grass, it doesnt smell like paint, I lied.

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tim rafter died no one cared

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There is a blonde, Santa and Jesus. Someone throws a million dollars on the ground who picks it up? Me because I shot them

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Two pretzels were walking down an alley way, one was assaulted. In a instinctive move, the other quickly ran away and alerted the authorities. The assaulted pretzel was severely injured but slowly recovered covered from physical trauma and has now sought professional help to deal with it's great deal of post traumatic stress.

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How do you make a clown cry? Hit him with a chair then rape his children

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Q. What do you call a small hen that can't lay eggs properly? A. A small hen that can't lay eggs properly.

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Where do you find a dog with no legs ? Same place you left it ...

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Barack Obama

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Why didnt little jimmy have a funeral? Because he is still at the bottom of the lake where I put him.

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What's worse than a dead baby? The corpse is chopped into little pieces And is put in a blender. Worse than that? An alive baby stuffed into a blender. Worse than that? Hellen Keller put into a blender. Worse than that? The holocaust.

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What's green and falls fom a tree? A dump truck. I lied about it being green.

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Roses are red, and blood is too. But violets are purple. NOT FUCKING BLUE.

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why does stuart own alot of hollister because he is autistic

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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What's the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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Lady gaga suposedly has a wener.What does that make her? A man

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What is the difference between a Ferrari and a dead hooker? One is a car and one is a human being.

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A: Knock knock! A: Who's there? A: Forever A: Forever who? A: Forever Alone

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We could have had it all Rolling in the deep You have my heart inside of your hand As you've just now inexplicably ripped it out of my ribcage.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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