Why did the pumpkin stop using the jack hammer? Pumpkins cannot use power tools since they are nothing but an orange gourd. But, [for sport] say this ‘pumpkin’ was incarnate; one could assume he was done with his demolition work. He then would return the portable drill to the rental facility and get his deposit back.

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So a duck walks into a pharmacy and says "i need some ointment for my beak, its rather chapped." and the Pharmacist said "Sorry we don't have anything for ducks here."

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How many black people does it take to screw in a light bulb? One.

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Why did the boy get hit by the ice cream truck? The driver of the ice cream truck was drunk

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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Why did Hitler try to take over the world? Hitler wanted to spread the Nazi (National Socialism) idea, He also wanted to destroy the Jews(Christian and non-Christian) and many other groups of people using the prevailing scientific idea of the day eugenics and survival of the fittest

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Did you hear about the black guy who went to college? I did too, he worked hard for four years, partied in moderation, but graduated with a degree in chemical engineering and became very successful in the business world in order to support his wife and two children.

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What do you do when a black person steals your computer Inform the authorities, as theft is a felony.

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Yo Mama is so stupid, she believes in God. While her faith has absolutely nothing to do with her intelligence and in 2014 only the most bigoted and stupid people would demean people based on their religion,she does have an IQ of 65 and is therefore believed to be mentally inadequate. It's really quite sad.

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There's a redhead, a brunette and a woman with green hair walking down the street. A man asks them how they all came to have such beautiful and vibrant hair color. The redhead smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The brunette smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The woman with green hair blows her nose, and replies "It isn't natural, I'm rebelling against society's conformist ideals. Also I was not loved enough as a child." She has a cold.

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing. I don't know. Why? She had no arms. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sarah.

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Joe Paterno dosn't walk into a police station.-South Park

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What did the black guy say to the other black guy? We are both black

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Where did Officer Blackman find the missing child? A shallow grave.

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Knock Knock. Martha, get the door I'm watching the game!

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So a black guy walks into a bar, respectively pays his tab and walks out.

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There is a man who is half black half Jewish. He walking up a hill really fast. What happens to him? Answer: The Jewish side of his body will fall off and the black side will walk away.

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What is worse than a little girl being raped by an old man? The accidental firing of nuclear weapons at the US and the US responding by launching nuclear missiles at an unknown enemy then assuming that targeting everyone will kill the enemy. Thus bringing an unprecedented and abrupt end to the world, in a cataclysmic nuclear holocaust. Leaving that little girl to be raped by mutated creatures - that survived the mass destruction - and eventually being consumed by those creatures.

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A catholic priest held a puppet show at a kindergarten. The children were a very polite audience and the event was considered a great success.

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What is the best thing about dating a slut? You can return her at Build-a-Hoe Workshop.

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Your mom is so fat, she has sleep apnea.

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What's the difference between jelly and jam? I can't jelly my d i c k in your a s s.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side (The original AntiJoke)

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What's green and fuzzy and has legs that would kill you if it fell out of a tree? A pool table

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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