The opposing forces behind all human beings is not light vs darkness, not good vs evil, but fear vs ' love. Whatever is overwhelmingly good for one person, is evil to many. Overwhelming darkness wont allow you to see. Overwhelming light will make you blind. You can never fear overwhelming love. You can never love overwhelming fear. These are the true polar opposites, part of all emotion that drive the human being.

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How long can penguins hold their breath underwater? Long enough for you to eat a baby and then cover for it.

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs floating in the ocean? Bob. What do you call a man with no arms or legs in front of your door? Matt. What do you call a man with no arms or legs hanging on your wall? Art.

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A man didn't feel well so he went to the toilet. He had explosive diahrria, then felt better.

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Why doesn't Michael Jackson sleep with boys anymore? -Because he is dead.

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Cosmopolitan magazine releases an issue without any sex tips.

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Why didn't the boy eat chocolate yesterday Because he was allergic.

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roses are red, violets are blue, penis

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Two guys stopped at a restaurant for coffee. "I'll have a mug of strong coffee," said the first. The second said, " I'll have strong coffee too, but I want a clean mug." The waiter returns and says, "which one of you wants the clean mug?"

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What happened to jimmy when he stepped on a rusty nail? He died of of tetanus.

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What did one musician say to the other? "We should have gone to college."

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why did tiarnan not ride hi bike to school today? Tiarnans dead

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Why is jim gay? because he likes men

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what did one tree say to the other spruce up actually nothing because trees can't talk

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What do a comb and a guitar have in common? Neither of them can climb trees.

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Q: what do you call a camel with a garbage bag on its head? A: A ziploc baggie

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There's an Irishman, a homo-sexual, and a Jew standing at a bar. What a fine example of an integrated community!

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Why do people insist on drinking diet soda meanwhile eating extremely unhealthy food? Because some people like the taste of diet soda over regular soda.

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs in the middle of a lake? Bob

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why did the boat sink the captain drove it into a pile of sharp rocks

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Whats Funnier than the Holacaust? A: Nothing you asshole!

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What's funny about a black person, a Jew, and a mexican's graves being side by side? Nothing.

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how to you confuse a blonde you ask her to recit the alphahbet back words

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Scout? The Scout gets to come home from camp.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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