Person 1 Hey man what's up Person 2 nothing much I just impregnated your mom

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A man tells his wife to leave the kitchen

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How do you scare a lawyer? Threaten to kill his family.

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It wa Jerry's first day of kindergarten He pulled out a .44 magnum and shot himself under the chin where he was instantly dead... Yes, dead

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: I didn't get to ask. He got hit by a car.

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what has 911 got in commen with most bank robberies? all r inside jobs

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When life throws knives at you, run away.

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knock knock hold on im takin a poop!

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what do rappers cover? ->CANDY CREDITS: ANUJ NARAYAN VARMA from Leland high school

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roses are blue violetrs are green im shooting heroine into my head

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a ferrari? -I don't have a ferrari in my garage.

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What did the homeless child get for Christmas? Leukemia

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Hello, I'm Mark and I have multiple-personality disorder. Don't listen to him, no he doesn't.

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roses are red violets are blue I suck at poetry time for lunch :D

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How do you stop a clown from laughing? Drive an ax through its head.

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What did the little boy say when he was sick? Nothing. He stayed in bed and slept all day.

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And Judas approached the rabbis and Pharisees saying, "The one whom I kiss is the one you seek. " To which they responded, "Gay. "

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What is yellow, has wheels and lies on its back? A school bus after a horrible traffic accident

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Why does the rabbit go in the hole? because that's where it lives.

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Who is John Galt?

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why did the man have solar panels on his house? because he had some money left over cos he won the lottery

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Roses are red Violets are blue Actually they are not, they are purple. Whoever the uneducated idiot was who made up that poem deserves nothing more then a slap in the face

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A brown haired woman walks into a clinic and says, "Doctor it hurts whenever I touch myself." The doctor says, "Strange, I have never heard of such a disease. Please show me." The woman touches her leg and screams,"Ow!" Then she touches her arm and screams again. The doctor asks, "Are you a natural brunette?" The woman replies, "No, I am a blonde." The doctor says, "Oh, that explains it. You have a broken finger. God, you are so blonde." The woman gets her finger treated and then lives in agony for the rest of her life due to her untreated broken leg and arm.

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*via text message* Me: Hey Trevor! You at home? Trevor: This is Trevor's mom. Trevor committed suicide today.. Me: OMG! Why?!? Trevor: Because when I gave him a glass of water, it had 3 ice cubes. Trevor doesn't like odd numbers.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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