Q:What's the difference ethernet a corvette and a pile of dead baby's? A:I don't have a corvette in my garage

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson are camping out. After they set up their tent and get inside to go to sleep, they look up at the stars. Holmes asks Watson to make a deduction. "Well, Holmes, I think it's highly probable that other planets outside our own, among those many stars up there, could have sentient life." Holmes points up and says, "Someone stole our tent, you idiot."

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots? It depends on what his name is.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

why did the f a g perform fellatio? because he was a sick c unt

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did a black person beat a white person in a race? The white person was hindered because a polar bear was biting their leg the entire time.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Your mumma's so ugly. Period.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why cant stevie wonder see? He is blind

thumb_up thumb_down +25

NEVER

thumb_up thumb_down +22

How do you fit a homosexual man into a small card board box? You cut him into pieces.

thumb_up thumb_down +54

Q: What's worse than a pile of dead babies? A: The live one at the bottom trying to eat his way out. Q: What's worse than that? A: When he comes back for more.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What starts with F and ends with UCK? FUCK

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Where was Suzy during the explosion? Everywhere! Knock Knock! Who's there? Not Suzy!

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did Bob the Builder die? I threw a fridge at him

thumb_up thumb_down +20

How many licks did it take for the owl to get to the center of the tootsie roll tootsie pop? A: Since when did owls have tounges?

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Henry VIII: I need another wife!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thomas Wolsey: All right then. How about my nan? Henry VII: I'm dead!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :~D

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What do you call 17 blondes standing in a row? most certainly not Charles because it seems as though it would be incrediblely unlikley that a girl would be named Charles

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Every time I walk across the street I do the Hitler march and raise my arm straight out to salute him, if I feel like holding up traffic, I take smaller steps

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the grandmother lock her grandson in the closet? Because she didn't love him.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poke her face.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

A drunken man grabbed a gun and shot his entire family to death. Luckily, a even drunker man had shot them moments before, so it really only served to ruin the perfectly good wall behind them with bullet holes.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What happened when the turtle rolled over on his back? It proceeded to die because it couldnt find a way to roll over. An African tribe then decided to make the recently decised turtle into a delicious soup that lasted him and his family three days.

thumb_up thumb_down +61

Why did the short man fall down the stairs? He got shot in the face with an assault rifle.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What's funny about Magic Johnson's T-Cell count? Nothing. He has AIDS, and it's a degenerative disease, that will eventually result in death. There's nothing funny about that.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Roses are black Violets are black I'm blind

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops