What did the prosecuting attorney say to the defense attorney? I hate you.

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Q: How many light bulbs does it take to change a blonde? A: One, if she tries to swallow it.

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What's the difference between a black man and and a bag of crap? A lot, but mostly the bag

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An early Jewish man walks into a bar where a number of stormtroopers have gathered for drinks and is taken into custody and then transported by railcar to a camp where he and other persecuted minorities are deliberately imprisoned in a relatively small space with inadequate facilities where they await their eventual mass execution.

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Why did the girl run to school Because a lion was chasing her

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Tom Petty walks into a bar and the bartender says, "I'm sorry, you are visibly intoxicated. We cannot sell you liquor." The bar explodes because someone said no to Tom Petty.

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Knock knock, Who's th- IMA FIRIN' MA LAZOR

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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Once upon a cross

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What's the difference between a cat and a dog? Vast. While they are both mammals belonging to the order Carnivora, and therefore have a loose evolutionary connection, dogs belong to the Carnidae family and cats belong to the Felidae family. There would need to be much biological research done to discover all of the differences that result from this.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Cindy Cindy who? No it's Cindy Lou Who!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? because he was hungry and mcdonalds was across the street

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BIG MAC'S

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To run away from a fat emo girl with a knife

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?". The horse does not respond because it is a horse. It can neither speak nor understand English. It is confused by its surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

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10inch nice

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How do you keep an idiot busy? Give him something to do.

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-hey sam look what mom gave me for christmas -what eli? -a new baseball bat -thats your prosthetic leg silly

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why'd the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side.

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an amosh person used an electrical appliance

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Want to hear the best joke ever? Want to hear it again?

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Why isnt there any mexicans on star trek? Because even in the future they dont work.

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Why are watermelons green? 9, because cows like to eat grass.

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is your refrigerator running? yeah oh, ok. just making sure your food doesn't spoil

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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