When would you find a Mexican, Asian, Black and white guy hanging out? Never

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the guy fall into the ocean? He was surfing

thumb_up thumb_down +14

How do you kill a Mexican? Rupture its vital organs like any other organism ,but murder is wrong and should not be done under any circumstance

thumb_up thumb_down +1

(Pretend you're an orphan.) Knock knock. Who's there? Not your parents.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What do you call a muffin with frosting? A cupcake

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Knock knock. Who's there? You. You who? Fuck you.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why is there such a big box because there is some writing down here :)

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Knock knock Who's there Orange Orange who Orange

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did the little boy get for Christmas? Nothing. He was Jewish.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Je veux avoir des relations sexuelles avec toi.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Hey, is that your corvette? No, I thought it was yours.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why was a black man in a prison cell? He was a highly respected plumber fixing a prisoner's faulty toilet.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What do you call a guy being followed by about 30 others with high powered rifles? A military general serving for his country.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What do you call a gay dinosaur? Nothing, they're extinct.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why can't men give birth? Because men do not not have the reproductive organs required to give life to a new born child.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

If a blonde and a brunette fell off a building, who would hit the ground first? Answer: Newton's Law dictates that they would hit the ground at the same time.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A duck walks into a bar, the bartender says what do you want? the duck says nothing cause ducks can't talk

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Knock Knock Who's There? Your Best friend. Did you forget what I looked like?

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How you know that you are flying with a "no frills" airline? There are no meals or films provided, no orange juice to drink during ascent and descent and no mid-flight shop service.

thumb_up thumb_down

If the 49ers won the superbowl

thumb_up thumb_down -15

roses are red violets are blue i ate a peanut lets go have sex

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Knock Knock Whos there? smell map smell map who?...really? I was in the middle of a phone call with my paraplegic wife's doctor, who was telling me that her condition has gotten worse and doesn't think she'll make it to the end of the month. You interrupted that in order to get me to say something that sounded like "smell my poo". Forget being allowed into my house, you should be worried about being allowed into heaven. Hopefully as you walk home today, someone will murder you.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

A priest enters a bar moments after a young teen walks into the same bar. The priest scolds the teen, warning him of the possibility of arrest, alcoholism, and other bad life consquences. The teen apologizes to the bartender, and much later in life, he thanks the priest.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops