Bill: Knock, Knock. Sean: Who's there? Bill: It's your neighbor, Bill Walters, from across the street. Sean: Oh, hey Bill, how are you and Margie? Bill: Oh, I'm doing fine, but Margie just got out of the hospital for a broken arm. Sean: My gosh, what happened. Bill: She was just loading the Halloween decorations down from the attic while I wasn't home and fell. She's fine though; it was only a minor fracture. Sean: Well thank goodness she alright. Bill: Anyway, I came over to return those hedge clippers I borrowed from you last month. Sean: Oh, thank you. How did they work? Bill: Just great once I gave them a coat of oil. It was a big job... I haven't trimmed those bushes in three years. Sean: Yeah, these clippers have belonged to my grandfather, father, and me. Bill: Darn, thats quite amazing, I wish I could get a pair of those, but I doubt they still make them. Sean: I'm pretty confident they don't, but you can borrow these anytime. Bill: Thanks Sean thats very generous of you. Sean: No problem, I almost never use them myself. Well I better get back to Jeanie...I'm helping her make dinner. Bill: Alright, Well thanks again.

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What does a black person call black friday? Friday.

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Tim: Jason, your dumb Jason: No I'm not.

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What do a goat and an eagle have in common? They both can fly, except for the goat.

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What did the woman find when she got home from the post office? Her son's corpse hanging from a clothes hanger. She was an abusive mom, and he killed himself.

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How many blondes can you fit in a car? About 5 if you lift the arm rest.

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what has wheels and drives? a boat i lied about the wheels

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What do you call a three-legged cheetah? Crippled.

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What can fly for only a short period? A jumper.

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What do you call a shark on land A dead shark

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roses are red, violets are not, this poem makes no sense. Bananas

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what's white, sticky, and very fluffy? which can be sweet or bitter, depending on what the person ate. THATS RIGHT. it's CUM. :D

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whats the differnce between a baby and a dart board? dart boards dont bleed.

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What's the safest way to tell a racist joke? Ask everybody who might hear the joke if they would be offended by a racist joke.

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Yo mama so fat when she looked at the scale it said to be continued

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Q. Did you hear about the kid napping? A. Yeah, he woke up and was grumpy

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Q. How many lemons does one person take to fill a ladder? A. Fish

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Chickens don't have the cognitive capacity to reason. So you'd never know

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What do you call a black man that has just gotten out of jail? A former criminal who has served his time in prison and is now trying to redeem himself by becoming a respectable member of his community

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A man dreamt that he was eating a marshmallow. He ate his dog.

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Why did the blonde turn down prostitution? She knows it is illegal and has better moral values than that.

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What's worse that pooping in your pants having someone see it

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A Black man and a Hispanic man were sitting in the back seat of a car. Who was driving? Their Asian friend who offered to take them to get lunch.

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what did the green grape say to the purple grape? i'm green.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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