You are so average that, if you entered an average contest, you'd come in middle place.

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What's retarded and comes from Eygelshoven? Roel van den Elzen

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A blonde, redhead, and a brunette are chatting outside a casino. The brunette directs a joke towards the blonde. "What's the difference between cotton candy and pork chops?" The blonde has heard the joke prior to this encounter and correctly completes it with sign language because she is deaf.

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Liar liar, your dead nans carcass is on fire.

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fish, just because it has a disability it doesn't mean you can treat it any differently

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What's the difference between a muffin and a scone? One's a muffin.

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A black guy and a mexican get into a car Who is driving? Whoever takes a seat in the drivers side of the car

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How can you tell if a duck is watching you? Look at its eyes

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hey, can you answer a question for me? yeah, sure. ThankYou!

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Roses are red, violets are blue, trains.

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why is the sky blue? because your mother blocked your computer to meatspin.com

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(Q)What do you call 4+4? (A) A math problem.

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Why did the lebanese man kill his own family? He had cancer.

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Doctor doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains!" "Never-mind that, you've got AIDS.

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Q: How many chicken nuggets can fit into an olympic size swimming pool? A: 8,563,690,152... Corndogs

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put my cøck in your mouth. Submitted by Arsha K.

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sky silverstein

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What did the pedephile do to the young boy? Smiled at him, said hello, and kept on walking.

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chinga tue madre Ryan

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What's the difference between a white guy and a black guy? Their skin color.

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Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you'll probably just land back on earth.

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How did the snail travel around the world without any help from a transportation device? Sadly, it didn't. The snail is incapable of this kind of long distance travel due to it's small size, lack of speed and short lifespan.

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This boy. We shall call him George. George was skating down the street when he passed the market. George stopped and looked in when he saw this SWEET pair of shoes! They were priced for 20 bucks. So George rushed home and went to his dad who was mowing the lawn. "DAD DAD!" "what?" The dad said. "I FOUND THESE SWEET PAIR OF SHOES! Can you lend me 20 bucks?" His dad shook his head and George ran inside the house and went up to his mom who was washing the dishes. "Mom can you lend me 20 bucks for these sweet shoes?" His mom just looked at him funny and said, "No". Angry, George set off upstairs to his sister's room who was on the computer. "Sis can you lend me...." "GET OUT OF MY ROOM!!" She slammed the door in his face. George sighed and went to his room. But before he got to his door, he saw a 20 dollar bill on the floor. He picked it up and rushed to the store. Once he got the shoes he ran back home to his dad. "Dad DAD! Look at these.." He stopped and saw his dad that was under the lawnmower dead. George shrugged and went inside to his mom. "Mom mom! Look at these...." He stopped and saw that his mom was stuffed in the dishwasher, dead. George sighed and ran upstairs to show his sis. "Hey sis look at...." She was found with her head in the computer screen, dead. So George sighed and walked down to the living room. He plumped on the couch and wondered about how his family died. Then there was a knock on the door. George hesitated. It knocked again. He got up and went to the door. Opened it and out stood a penguin. He stared at the penguin. "What do you want?!" The penguin stared back. What did he say?????? Nothing penguins can't talk.

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Do you know what is worse than getting kicked downstairs? Getting kicked upstairs because then you could fall downstairs and break your skull.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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