Knock Knock. F uck off.

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What do you call a man who stole from a thief? A thief, no matter whom you are stealing from the consequences are dire.

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how many dead guys does it take to screw in a light bulb? 6

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How did the cat die of indigestion? Indigestion

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What does a tree do all day? Boredom

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Stephen Hawking walks into a bar.

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Q: What did the teen mom put her newborn daughter up for? A: Adoption

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knock knock who's there? The police your family is dead

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Q: What do you call a black person that flies planes? A: A pilot you racist

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What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline. Notice how Anti-Joke MISSPELLED "user", writing "uses" instead. Probably most of you didn't notice until I posted this :)

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So a guy walks into a bar and says, "I can hold a spoon in between my butt-cheeks." Jillian Michaels asked him if that will help him lose weight.

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CHUCK NORRIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!$$$$bOoBiEs

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hi

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What do you say to a woman with two black eyes? Nothing, you've already taken her police statement and she doesn't want to discuss the incidentit anymore until her lawyer arrives.

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What's worst than biting into an apple and finding a worm? The holoca- *the man hearing the joke then pulls out a desert eagle and shoots the man in the chest before finishing the joke then goes to jail for the rest of his life*

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What came first the egg or the hen? your mother did, when I had sex with her last night.

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How do you piss off a gypsy? Curse at him

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"the president is black, my lambo's blue..." no hes not, hes bi-racial.

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If I said you had a beautiful body would you stop asking me if those jeans make you look fat?

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What did the broom say to the vacuum cleaner? "Your mom sucks."

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Why Because

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Some people are like Slinkies: they get really boring after a while.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Turns out he was needed immediately at a business meeting.

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Polly went out for a cigarette. Then she was raped.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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