roses are red violets are blue the thing in the toilet reminds me of you :)

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Recycling anti-jokes

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you know whats worse than being cold? being colder

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What colour is chocolate? Brown.

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What's worse than a duck with one leg? A nuclear explosion

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Help I'm being raped!

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How does a cancer patient bathe? He can't because he lives in an arid climate where water is scarce.

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Knock Knock Who's There The police, your under arrest.

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What's black, green, and doesn't have to take a shower? I have no idea.

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A Frenchman an Italian and an American were setting in a bar drinking and talking. The Frenchman said he made love to his wife five times last night. She said if I died she would never get married again. The Italian said said he made love to his wife ten times last night and that she said if he ever died she would kill her self. They asked the American how many times he made love to his wife last night. He said I'm a widower. She died in the 9/11 attacks.

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You know what sucks ? A vacuum.

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Why did the police officer shoot the man in the wheelchair? Says the police: "He was running"

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What do you do when you see an epileptic having a fit in the bath? Laugh at him

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If i was gay... I would have strong sexual feelings towards peolple of the same sex as me

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Knock knock Who's there? You're You're who? YOU'RE MOM IN MY BED!!! (i know it sucks)

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Johnny Manziel is the best quarter ever (this isn't a joke just a true statement)

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Why didn't the boy's parents throw him a birthday party? Because his father is in jail for drug possession and his mother is dead.

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how do you get a taco? Buy one!

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Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus

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Why are there so many jokes about germans on Anti-Joke? Because the Germans epitomize the flavour of anti-jokes perfectly and they have the whole nazi history thing going on which is ripe ground for many an anti-joke

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There are 5 men in a desert a black man a white man a gay a lesbian and a white woman they have no food or water and haven't had any in 3 weeks civilization is 1 mile away how many people live and which ones They all die you can only live 3 days without water.

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What's the difference between an apple and a black person? Well theres a huge difference but they both taste good in peanutbutter

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I had sex with my mother in law

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There once was a man from Nantucket, Who had an average-sized penis he only used during monogamous sex with his spouse.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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