What are the two biggest jokes in College Football? Auburn and Florida! Roll Tide!

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You might be a redneck if you have red on your neck

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two penguins are sitting in a bath tub. one penguin says, "hey, can you hand me the soap?" the other penguin says, "what do i look like, a typewriter?"

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why did the girl moan in pain? she got punched in the face.

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How can you ruin someone's day? Tell them their mother has cancer. No really, I found out my mom has cancer a week ago.

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If life throws you lemons, get under some shelter so you don't get pelted by flying fruit and worry about making lemonade later.

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A blonde walks into a bar; she orders and enjoys her drink and then leaves with her thirst quenched.

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So I went to an audition, my friend said "break a leg" And then I did

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What's black and blue and hates sex? The ten year old in my trunk

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What do you get when you cross a turtle and a kangaroo? A hybrid combination of the two that is characterized by specific traits of both animals.

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Why did the man go to the barber? To get a haircut

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How did Harry potter open the door? He had the key

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A terrorist gets on a plane. He has a pleasant flight and gets off in a new country.

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Q. What does the pencil and the basketball have in common? A. They both are made from wood, except for the basketball.

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"What is the sound of one hand clapping?" "I'm not quite sure, but your on fire."

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Women's rights.

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Why was the boy embarrassed when he opened his parents' bedroom door? Because he had been trying the door for several minutes until he realized he was pushing instead of pulling.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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A n antelope walks into a bar and many people leave for the sake of their safety and animal control gets called to escort the antelope out of the bar.

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What's black and white and red all over? A bloody zebra.

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why do chairs recline Because they were built that way!!!!

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What's the difference between a leopard and a coffee table? There is no difference. They both have four legs.

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why hppened when the little boy failed his math test? He cut off his penis, shaved his head and hung himself

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My mother got hammered last night. We cried at her funeral.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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