Lambos are red Tuxedos are Blue The cat is out of the bag Shit, we're all gonna die in helll

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School is like a boner. It is long and hard unless your asian.

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What did Nick Comado say to the black person? Hello I live at 317 North 12th Street, Beech Grove, Indiana, USA. PLEASE come murder me and my family

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Knock, knock. Knock, knock. Knock, knock. Guess no ones home.

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A guy wanted to write a joke. He didn't.

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Why did Sally fall off her bike? Because sally has no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Sally.

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A banker makes some poor economic investments with other people's money. turns out the people can never get the money back. the banker walks away like nothing happened. the government does nothing to prosecute the man. Somewhere in there his wife leaves him.

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What is worse than 10 babies nailed to 1 tree? 1 baby nailed to 10 trees.

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What happen when a plane crash? Everyone on it died...

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roses are red violets are violet hey look up there! Its a suicide pilot!

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a guy walkied into a bar... he really got hurt

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What do you get when you cross scabies with genital warts? Krusty Krabs.

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What do you get when you cross Chuck Norris with a cheetah? Don't do that, I'm pretty sure it's illegal for several reasons.

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What is red and green and goes 50mph? A frog in a blender.

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why did the man tell a joke? to make people laugh

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Why was Diana crying? Because she was penetrated.

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Why did the plane crash? A loaf of bread was the pilot

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How do you kill a blue elephant? With a blue elephant gun. How do you kill a red elephant? Spray paint it blue then shoot it with a blue elephant gun

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A lady in a bank was asked by the clerk to round the sum she wanted to raise from her account. She rounded it several times, but the clerk continued to insist that the sum needs to be rounded. She left the bank confused, with a coupon consisting of completely rounded sum of 691, 88$. Next day she returned with a coupon with a rounded sum of 690,88$. The clerk asked again the lady to round the sum. The lady started helplessly to cry and said she had rounded is already with a harp, and couldn't make it round anymore, she even removed the sharp 1 from the sum.

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The hooker walks into a bar wearing a vest and tight denim shorts. A drunken man proceeds in trying to have his way with her. He is thrown out for sexual mis-conduct and is currently waiting for his court date.

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who cares wats behind the green class door people cant be in it

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Three explorers are walking through the jungle when they are suddenly captured by a group of cannibals, the cannibals, going through years of culture and hereditary custom, kill the explorers, skin their bodies, chop them to pieces and cook their flesh, finally they eat it giving them a prosperous feast while the rest of the world is unaware of whatever happened in that jungle.

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Why couldn't Jim pogo-stick? He didn't have one.

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What do you call John Lennon without glasses? A skeleton, because John Lennon is dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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