A man was walking down the street and witnessed a car crashed. He was traumatize.

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Roeses are red lemons are sour open your legs and give me an hour

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? Because it thought that it would somehow increase its chances of survival.

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what did batman tell robin before they got into the batmobile? -let's get in the batmobile!

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What's pink fluff? Pink fluff. What's blue fluff? Pink fluff holding it's breath. What's red fluff? Angry pink fluff. Ask me if I'm a truck. Are you a tr-- No. What's green and has wheels? Grass. I was just lying about the wheels. What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm in your apple, 'cause the other half's in your mouth. What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Angry pink fluff. What's worse than angry pink fluff? The holocaust. That's not funny. Stop laughing.

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how many babies does it take to paint a wall? it depends on how hard you throw them

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Whats funnier than a dead baby tied to a tree? Everything, infant mortality is a very sad thing.

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What do you call a black guy driving a Mercedes through New York? A U.S. Citizen

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Knock knock whos there Ewan Gudgeon *Shoots Himself cause cannot live with hearing tht name*

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The sentence below is an anti-joke.

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A woman is on an escalator, which stops, then she cries. Why? The escalator is in a hospital and stops because the power has failed. She was going to visit her husband who is on life support, which has now but out.

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What do you call 5 of my friends and 5 of your friends hanging out together? I don't know. I don't have any friends.

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Why was little Timmy so fast? Because he's tied up in the trunk of a speeding car.

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Bill and John are talking about types of cheese. The conversation drags on a bit and slowly changes topic. Bill says "I bet you I can bungy jump off a bridge". John chuckles before replying "I bet you can't". They go and find a bridge and Bill puts on his harness and ties himself to the side of the bridge. He throws himself off the edge and falls through the air screaming at the top of his voice. John cuts the bungy cord and Bill dies.

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What's worse then failing a math test? Your mom getting shot

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Q. Why did the man crash the car? A. Because the driver was a bling man with no arms, who happened to have a psychological problem affecting his brain's ability to detect movement, thus making the car crash.

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Who smells like urine and his da is a registered sex offender with madeline mccann in his house? Aodhan hearty, May I also include he looks like a bug. Oh and don't forget the rot on his teeth, it is fucking disgusting. It really looks like he hasn't brushed his teeth in quite a substantial period of time, in my opinion, he is the only person who is actually comparible to sean.

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Knock knock The boy doesn't answer because it's dangerous to open your door to strangers while home alone.

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Why did Billy drop his ice cream? He was hit by a bus

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Whats white, and edible? white chocolate

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Why couldn't the kid get into the Pirate movie? He died in a car crash on the way there because of a drunk driver.

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What's the difference between a 7 year old boy and a 50 year old man? Hair.

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Two scientists are experimenting with sulfuric acid. One scientist says to the other, "Did you see the new intern?" In the process of turning to face the first scientist, the second scientist knocks the beaker over and spills sulfuric acid all over the first scientist's hand. The first scientist writhes in pain as the second scientist rushes to find a strong base to neutralize the burn. After a few minutes, the first scientist is rushed off to the emergency room and suffers from some serious chemical burns.

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what does trondifly mean? trondify is not a real word.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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