what did the girl do when she saw a spider in her bathroom? she peed.

Your mom is so ugly that she had self-esteem problems and severe depression as a teenager due to merciless bullying due to her looks, however she overcame this, found a man who loved her for who she was, and then married him. She now lives a happy life.

whats worse than not being able to hear? not being able to breath fvd n avt were here

johann grayson being liked

why did the chicken cross the street? it didn't.

Do you also think Daffy Duck is really attractive when he dresses up like a woman? Yeah, me neither...

Your Momma's So fat, that she is quite unhealthy, and she should stop spending her life savings at fast food restaurants. Probably should stop drinking pop as well.

Woman: If you were my husband, I've give you poisoned wine. Winston Churchill: Madame, if you were my wife, I would hope we could have enough love to attempt marriage counseling so as to work out these issues.

Johnny tried talking to his dog, there was no response.

So this farmer had theses two amazingly fast horses, one named slokey and the other pokey. They would run in the pasture and bring many people to watch. So one day this man says hey, you should enter them in the county derby. So he does and the whole race its slokey, pokey slokey, pokey, and slokey wins by a nose. So after the farmer collects his prize money a man walks up and says, hey those horses are pretty fast, you should enter them in the state derby. So he loads his horses up to the capital and prepares them. When the gates open slokey and pokey dash out of the gate. The whole race its slokey, pokey, slokey, pokey, and slokey wins by a nose. After all the press conferences a man says, hey you should enter those horses in the kentucky derby. So the farmer enters them and drives down to kentucky. The gates open and the whole time its slokey, pokey, slokey, pokey, and slokey wins by a nose. After the press meetings a man says hey you should enter your horses in the european derby. The farmer says no, im going to retire my horses. One fall afternoon pokey says to slokey, man, i wish i could have won a single race. So they race around the huge pasture and the whole way its slokey, pokey, slokey pokey, and pokey wins by a nose! All the farm animals go crazy and the farm dog says "congratulations pokey you finally won!" And pokey says "HOLY SHIT A TALKING DOG!"

What was black, then white, now dead all over? Michael Jackson.

Q. What's large, solid, and full of veins? A. A man or woman who frequently engages in weightlifting and follows a diet primarily based around high protein and low carbohydrate intake

knock knock who's there aids

Your mom is so dumb that she doesn't get this joke

Today I looked at a clock and realized that I was late.

Knock knock. Who's there? Jane from next door. Hi Jane how can I help you? Just wondering if my sister could use the spare spot on your drive tomorrow afternoon around 3pm? She is coming round for tea. I'm very sorry but my wife is due back around that time. Not a problem, thanks anyway. Have a great day. Bye Jane, see you soon, sorry again.

Q: what's the difference between a human and a gorilla? A: they can both talk, apart from the gorilla

What's the difference between a cheeseburger and a dead baby............I don't j!zz on the cheeseburger before I eat it.

What did the prostitute get for Christmas Money

hey I just met you and this is crazy but get in my van

knock knock who's there who who who and if u say something about an I will punch u in the face u stupid cike!!!!

What do you call a dinosaur that doesn't lay eggs? A male dinosaur

3 like an eel

What happens when a chemist dies? They are given a proper funeral and buried.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...