How did Pablo get into America from Mexico? He drove here!

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what do you call a kid without arms and legs? names

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How do you punish Helen Keller You don't, she's dead

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Man :A homo-sexual panda walks into a gay bar.... Homosexual Panda : Wait...wait I'm gonna stop you right there. I will not take part in this odd joke, so just ummmmmm ya. And another thing, my species is extremely offended by your inferior remarks. Why can't homosexual pandas just have piece? Man 1: Were the hell did you come from? Homosexual Panda: My mother's uterus same as you, retard.

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What's blue and fluffy? Blue fluff. What's green and fluffy? Green fluff. What's red and fluffy? A kitten that got hit by a truck.

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Why did the monkey fall of the tree? Because Newtons law states that we are all under the influence of gravity and hence an object, in this case the monkey, will fall down if it failed to stay on the tree.

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Q: Whats worse than 5,000,000 African Americans being killed? A: 1 White person being killed

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Hi Danny it's Louis Tehe

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Knock, Knock Who's there? The FBI

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Sometimes i like to paint myself red and then curl up into a ball and pretend i'm a tomato.

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what is the difference between my pubes and my actualy hair on my head.... my pubes didnt fall off when i went trough chemo

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Your momma is so fat she has an increased risk or cardiac arrest due to obesity. I ridicule her based on the theory that her morbid obesity is due to the fact that she has a diet consisting of large amounts of calories and high fat content and/or she is known to be very sedentary and does not partake in physical exercise. However, if this increase in body fat content is due to genetics I retract my previous statement and wish only the best for her, also, you might want to lower your calorie intake and visit your local gym, lest you succumb to morbid obesity, much like your mother.

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A man walks into a bar and orders two shots the bartender then picks up his shotgun and gives it to him

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Why couldn't the man walk? He lost his legs when he stepped on a land mine in Afghanistan.

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Whats worse than your roof caving in on you? Being stabbed by yard gnomes.

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What did the black man say about Linkin Park? That there's obviously a rapist in their midst and they should all be questioned.

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What's worse then listening to Nickleback? The Holo- On second thought, nothing.

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Knock knock, Who's there? Pizza hut delivery service, here's your pizza, Thanks.

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vote this down and i will DOX you

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Son: "Mommy That Boy Over There Beat Me Up" Mom: Good I Like When You Suffer

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Jews

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Why did Abraham Lincoln fall asleep at the movie? He was shot several times in the back of the head.

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I love you Itachi Uchiha, please let me lick ice cream off of your body and oh crap you're an anime character and not real never mind

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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