What is better than a 50-inch wide plasma flat screen TV? A 51-inch wide plasma flat screen TV.

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How do you make a homeless person cry? cut an onion in front of him.

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Knock knock Who's there Santa who santa hates you and that is why you got nothing for Christmastime

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Why did the woman step away from the kitchen? To pick up her paraplegic son, who had fallen.

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What starts with "m" and rhymes with monkey? Platypus

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Why was the black man arrested? He was tried and convicted in a court of law for being an accessory to murder.

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How do you stop a black man from drowning? Take your fott off his head.

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What did the little boy with no arms and legs get for his birthday? A baseball, bat, and a glove.

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"I have some pretty bad news for you, but to ease into it, I will try to work it into a conversation." -Alright Doctor, let's try that." "Hey, how are you feeling today?" -"I feel great!" "That's odd, because you have leukemia..."

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Q: What did the whale say to the other whale? A: MMMMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

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Stephen Hawkings walks into a bar. An impossible thing because he can't walk.

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whats one word that gets everyones attention? rapist,bomb,and sex

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Two men walk into a bar. They get drunk.

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A muslin walks into a bar, and has the same equal rights as everyone else and orders a pint of fosters.

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If life gives you melons, you're probably dyslexic.

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What's the difference between an American and a Russian? One's American and one's Russian.

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Your mom is so dirty, She smells.

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? It really depends on the make and model of the car, as well as the relative size and weight of the people in question, but legally you can only have as many people in the car as there are seatbelts available for them.

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Whats worse than a dog biting you? Cancer.

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why did the T-Rex eat the other dinosaur? Because it is a carnivorous animal.

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My friends are like trampolines I have none

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A priest enters a bar moments after a young teen walks into the same bar. The priest scolds the teen, warning him of the possibility of arrest, alcoholism, and other bad life consquences. The teen apologizes to the bartender, and much later in life, he thanks the priest.

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Fine, start by proving to me that you can be a reasonable human being, and I will meet you myself, I have too many of those that rely on my guidance and protection in order for me to send myself off to some suicide mission. Say, are you familiar with the Antony Stark method?

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Joey and Jack walked into a bar, and proceeded to have gay sex on the floor.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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