What did one apple say to the other apple? -Nothing, apples can't talk

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I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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Yo mama is so hairy she should probably start shaving.

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What's worse than losing a board game? Cannibalism.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the city on the other side. He hoped he could find work in one of the city's cheap factories. He needed money for his family: he could not bear to see them slowly starve for any longer. If he could get a lowly-paid job he may be able to just sustain them. But he knew it could not last for long. He would probably die on the streets or in the slums, cold, lonely and starving. But it was a risk worth taking - he could not see his own family waste slowly away like so many of his friends had.

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just one.It is a very simple task for somebody who knows what to do.

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ok last night i found a pic of romney saying "if i win the election 8 million people will have no job" then Obama says hey romney now that i won the election it would be 8 million and one stupid.

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how do you make a dog roll over you kill it

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Doctor, doctor, I have a cavity! Go to the dentist.

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Why did Jesus and his friends get crucified? So they could sing: "Always look at the bright side of life" Moral: Monty Python?

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what's worse than fining out that the best and worst jokes on anti-joke.com are about the Holocaust The Holocaust

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How did baby Bobby spend his summer vacation? He didn't, he died from heat exhaustion.

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Why did the rapist go to the girl's dorm? He wanted to apologise for his crimes, and brought them all a drink. It was spiked, he raped them

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What is black and hangs from trees in my backyard? Not black berries because black berries come from a bush.

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock knock. Whose there? A chicken.

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Why did the chicken cross the road. Because, It can't fly

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there once was a man from Afghanistan. Who wanted to bang his brother-istan. they licked and sucked. and kissed then f**ked, he got aids. and never did that-again!

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Your mom is so poor that she can't even pay attention.

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Whats white and can't climb a tree? A refrigerator

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steven hawking walks into a bar just kidding he has a horrable disiese preventing him from walking

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What's worse than stepping on chewing gum A clown throwing bricks at orphans

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There was a peice of lasagna. He knew he tasted great. So he constantly feared for his life.

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One night you tell your mom to make you a sandwich, the next day in school you ate a delicious peanut butter and jelly sandwich for lunch

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Did you hear about the deer? He had antlers. If antlers where a kind of disease, that would be a pun.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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