A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver come in a gulp the guys drink down The man starts crying the lorry driver says"don't cry I will buy you another" The guy says "it's not that: Today I woke up late for work and when I finally got there my boss fired me so I get in my car to go home and it wont start so I walk home while it's raining and when I got in I found that my wife was sleeping with the gardener so I came down here and asked for some poison and you went and drank it"

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How do u make a hockey player cry You Kill his entire family

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A frenchman, an englishman, and an italian walk into a bar. They proceed to drink their beer in silence, because they can't understand each other one bit.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Tulips are yellow Grass is green

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There once was a rose that was red Violets are blue Knock Know who's there? Man I gotta quit huffing glue

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Wana hear something dirty? Mud

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What's better than eating an orange? Anal sex with Kim Kardashian.

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whats on object, almost tube like that squirts thick white liquid from the top elmer's glue

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Why aren't there Olympics in Mexico? Idk Because everyone that can run jump or swim are already across the boarder.

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yo mama's so fat, we are all extremely concerned about her health

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Doctor, people dont notice me anymore, doctor?... HEEEEEEEEEEEY!

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A baby seal walks in to a club

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What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car? Get in the car

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't, he was hit by a car. I lied about him crossing the road.

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Why did a monkey fall out of a tree? He was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of a tree? Gravity. Why did the third monkey fall out of a tree? He was stapled to the second monkey.

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Lets make like trees and stand still

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What's tall, has a really long neck, and eats leaves? My tall vegan neighbor's giraffe

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Q:how many ping-pong balls do you need te get a crocodile off of a slide ? A:none, because an engine doesn't have doors

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Justin Bieber

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What did the cracker say to the cheese? You're so cheesy.

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who let the dogs out my mom because they're fat and need exercise

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A man is playing pacman, on his last life, and is cornered. He inserts another coin in the slot.

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What did Steegers say when he lost his TARDIS? "The niggers stole it again!"

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What did the black kid get for Christmas? A bike that his father paid for with the salary he made as an accountant at a local bank.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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