Women are like puzzles. Because prior to 1920 neither had the right to vote. Puzzles still don't

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To save his soon to be butchered family.

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Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact? Some men are blind.

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A man builds a time machine but can only travel back in time. Where does he go? Irrelevant. Time and space exist on different planes.

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how do you get rid of diahreah? Shove pepto bismo up your butt.

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A man goes to the pound to adopt a dog and sees a very shaggy dog and says "WOW! Thats a shaggy dog I'll take it!" So the man takes home his new dog and decides to enter the dog in the towns anual shaggy dog contest. and wins. After winning the town shaggy dog contest he moves up to the county shaggy dog contest. theres no competition. Now the man and his dog enter into the state shaggy dog contest, the states shaggiest dogs are all competing. the man wins. Finally the man and his dog are in the prestigious national shaggy dog contest. The judge walks up to the man and says "your dog isn't very shaggy"

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why would you thank the KKK because they killed the president

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What did they do with the drunken sailor? Gave him the sack, which meant he could no longer provide for his family.

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What happen when a penguin walks into a bar? That is an almost impossible occasion. Penguins first of all waddle not walk and they only live in Antarctica and zoos, therefor they will not be able to enter one unless Antarctica becomes populated.

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What is the speed limit in front of Liberace's house? 40mph because that portion of the road is curved.

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What did the blonde say when she saw a box of cheerios? "Lovely, I think I'll have some of these for breakfast today. The wholegrain will be good for me."

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What's a tissue's favorite kind of music? Nothing, tissue's do not have ear canals or ear drums and there for cannot hear any type of sound wave.

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Q: What's the meaning of life? A: A bush, have you ever been dragged through one? It hurts.

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Why was Ray Charles always smiling? because he was a happy guy

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear? The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf."

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a: How can you tell you are not pregnant? b: I don’t know. a: Like this: I’m not pregnant.

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Why did the dog cross the road? He didn't, he got run over

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Your friend is so retarded I am getting a bit worried and his mother should take him to get tested for mental retardation.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was an animal with a small brain and could not comprehend the situation.

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what did helen keller say to the nazi? -nothing, helen keller was blind and deaf so she could never aquired the ability to speak

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What was the doctor's shirt made out of? Cotton

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Sometimes black people kill other black people.

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Why did the insect play marco polo? It couldn't. Marco polo requires multiple players.

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How do you get a dog to obey your rules?¿¿? Threaten to beat it with a rod!¡!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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