Q. What's the definition of mixed emotions? A. Watching your attorney drive off a cliff in your new car.

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hiya im writing this coz im drunk and ktieally slumped over the keyobard i feel relaly sick man and i dunno why i;lm teling you this, coz i should reallyt nbe om nrd ny noe. goodnight antijokers

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Why did the chicken cross the road. To get to the other side. Original anti joke.

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Alex Gedrose.

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Bill is walking down the street when a girl who had a crush on him 20 years ago sees him, goes up to him, and says, "I think I know you, what is your name?". Bill says, "Timmy," and keeps walking because he is an asshole.

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A man is taking a shower in jail where he drops the soap. He proceeds to pick the soap up and cleans the rest of his body, puts his orange jumpsuit on and returns to his cell.

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why did Dayrl win the wheelchair race? Because he had working legs.

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The Bible

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was DEAD! But why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was stapled to the first monkey... But then why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? P-p-p-p-eer pressure

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whats black, dirty, and full of trash? A trash can

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Three friends were walking to school, they all looked in front of them and ran away. What did they see? A 200 ft dragon eating their school.

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How the hell did Susie get on the swing anyway I don't know you tell me?

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Who is buried in Grant's Tomb? DeShawn

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A guy says a joke. It was not funny

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why couldnt the jew play basketball? He was handicapp

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Why did the pig cross the yard? Because the helicopter was chasing him.

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A girl that had Malaria couldn't play with her friends, whys this? She died.

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There is this dylectic who can't spell.

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Q: how many oxen does it take to row up the empire state building in half of a green canoe under the purple sun while eating a dead moose with no arms? A: Purple, because snakes have no elbows.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, i thought violets were violet. hmph.

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Why did the dog lick the boy's leg? Cause when the boy blew up his leg landed in the doghouse

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Man #1: What was the hardest part about watching that kid get hit by that bus? Man #2: My dick...

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why is walmart so big? Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping and affordable low prices. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory that a typical person should or could ever possibly need all in one place.

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Why was six afraid of seven You would be scared to if your name was six and you knew someone named seven

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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