What did the robet say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede. Its funny becuase the robot had no arms.

Q: What's black and doesn't work? A: My old, broken-down piano.

who do you call when you see a ghost in your apartment? The Mental Hospital.

Why was the boy scared? Well, his mother had recently taken up Satanical ideals and in an attempt to sacrifice themselves to the Dark Lord, she drove her car off a cliff and into a lake. Now, with his dead mother in the drivers seat, no way to call emergency services, and 300 feet of water between him and the surface, you can see why he'd be scared.

How do you fit a whale into a truck bed? You can't, whales live in the ocean.

Q. what sucks A. getting robbed loosing your family and then you die by cancer

Why did the little boy fall down the tree? He didn't. He jumped.

What does karissas vagina taste like? Ask vantwon

Did you hear the joke about Helen Keller? No. You don't need to, it's quite inappropriate.

What is the difference between the sky and the ocean? They're both blue.

A man walks in front of a bus. The bus driver avoids the man but hits the boy eating ice cream.

- What's better than just sitting on a couch in a summerhouse with a bottle of wine and reading a good book? - An orgy.

Where is Osama now? Telling this joke.

Why did the man open up a umbrella? Because it was raining..

Your mom is so fat that her every day life if a struggle and she has to get gastric bypass surgery or else she is going to die

what did helen keller name her dog? scruffy

Why did the Jew cross the road? He was hungry and there was a McDonalds on the other side of the street.

what did the crow say do the dead gazelle? - nothing the crow ate it

What makes the turtle move? It's legs.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? I threw a refrigerator at it

Q. What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a plastic bag? A. One is white, plastic and dangerous to young children, the other is a plastic bag.

Ask me if I'm an orange. Are you an orange? No...........

I was walking on the beach when I heard a man yell "Help, Shark, Help!" and I laughed, because I knew the shark wasn't going to help him.

A man walks into a bar.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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