How does a girl with no arms swing on the swing? She doesn't, she has no arms.

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Are you one of those gay rapists that flame around telling people no all the time?

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What did the blind boy get for christmas? harry potter transcribed in braille so he could enjoy such a magical world like the rest of us

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Q:What's the difference between my refrigerator and the trunk of my car? A: There isn't a spare tire in my refrigerator.

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Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

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How do you put an elephant in the refrigerator? Open the door and let him in. How do you put a giraffe in the refrigerator? Open the door and let the elephant out then give the giraffe a reasonable amount of time to enter.

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What did Bill go for his birthday? No where someone slashed his tires.

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men jump out, and the plane crashes anyway.

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Some people are like Slinkies: they get really boring after a while.

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david what a baghead

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What do you call two gay black men? Homosexuals.

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A man has only two fingers on one hand, and everybody calls him two-fingered Mike. Why? Because his fingers were lost in a tragic accident at birth, and his parents, who were considering calling him Mike, decided to lengthen the name because it seemed appropriate.

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A man walks into a bar, and spends all his money because he is an alchoholic.

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what is the germans word for fat dick what is very fat hairy dick

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A pretty funny pick-up line that probably doesn't work: "Hey, do you work at Little Caesar's? Because you're hot and I'm ready.

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Why did the 2 black kids jump the barb-wired fence To get to the other side

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What did the Buddhist say to the hot dog vendor? I don't eat hot dogs. Thank you though.

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Why did George Bush blow up the Twin Towers on 9/11? 9/12 was his girlfriends birthday.

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How do you put your babysitter in jail? Kill your kid on her shift.

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Whats the opposite of red? Fish!

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Person 1 What's good? Person 2 Your mom's love making

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Why did the Egg turn Purple Because it didnt turn blue.

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What's 18 inches long and makes women scream? Crib death.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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