why did the Cow die....? He didnt!!!!

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What did the Apple Tree say to the Oak Tree? Nothing.

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What's blck and blue and doesn't like sex? The ten year old in my car.

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what did the soccer player say when he missed a penalty? damnit.

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How did the two friends cross the busy road? They couldn't, because that would be considered jay-walking

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How many Jews can you fit into a car? How ever many seats happen to be available.

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I can't believe they been together for 16 years!! Who? Deez Nutz!

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Two guys were Arguing. (A & B) A. You suck B. If i suck then you choke. A. The only way id choke is if i smelled your stank ass breathe. B. The only way id have stank ass breathe is if i was liking your moms vagina A. The only way my mom's pussy would stank is if you were liking it. B. The only way id be liking your moms pussy is if it were a dick.... Both stare at each other... and walk off awkwardly

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What do you call postman pat without a job? Pat.

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What starts with P and ends with O-R-N? Popcorn

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Whats worse than a repeated Anti-joke This One

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Why was the blonde crying? She had just been raped by a 10-foot praying mantis.

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Hey I Just Met You And This Is Crazy But I Am Pregnant And It's Yhur Baby ~GotDemChoozen

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Have you seen Stevie wonders new house? No Neither has he.

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Lillie: tell me three adjectives that would describe yourself. Ellie: pretty, smart, and funny. Lillie: if I were to analyze you...I would say you are pretty, smart, and funny.

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Q: How do you get a blonde out of a tree? A: Throw a moneky at her

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What is useless and over-payed? Our government.

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A deaf man walks into a bar. A few minutes later, cops come in and takes the poor man into the cop car and takes him downtown to the precinct for booking. Meanwhile, back in the bar the deaf man drinks his beer and converses with the bartender in sign language.

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Two blondes are sitting in a car. They took a drive and later enjoyed turkey sandwiches at the local eatery.

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Why did the woman have sex with the man? Because she is over 18, which is above all of the legal consent ages in the United States.

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Why couldn't the chicken cross the road? it has no legs.

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Not everyone with a mustache is a child molester, but not every child molester has a mustache.

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A man walks into a bar. After several hours of drinking and loud unintellegable outbursts to those around him, the man wonders off to a nearby bus stop and relieves himself. He is now a registered sex offender.

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Cheese that isn't yours

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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