How do spell____? awk moment when u try asking someone how to spell something over text but they have no idea what ur saying

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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What do you say to a black man in the morning? Good morning

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It's black, and when it falls out of a tree, your refrigurator is broken. Your refrigurator.

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What does a blonde say when she walks into a bar? Ow

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Q: How can you fit 1000 jews in one car? A: The Ashtray

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whats black and white and black and white and black and white? a penguin rolling down a hill whats black and white and laughing? the penguin that pushed him

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How do you fit an elephant inside your car? I don't understand why this task would even need to be performed. I have never arrived anywhere in my car and thought "Sure could use an elephant right about now..."

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Why did the bud driver drop his ice cream? Because he hit a boy.

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"Did you eat your veggies?" asked the shark, sarcastically.

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What do you call your mom? Mom

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Why didn't the man answer the Anti Joke? He had a severe mental disorder and was therefore incapable of speech.

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All I want for Chrismas, the murderer of my parents to be caught.

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One time there was a man walking down the street. Wrong, it is physically impossible to walk down a street, you can only walk along it.

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What's the difference between a Corvette and a sack of dead babies? I don't have a Corvette in my garage.

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what's worse than finding a worm in your apple? rape

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What do you call a black man with scissors.? A Barber.

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Why did the first monkey fall off the tree? becuase he died Why did the second monkey fall off the tree? because he was stapled to the first monkey Why did the third monkey fall off the tree? monkey see, monkey do

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Person: Hello Parking Meter! Parking Meter: Hello! The person then backed away in fear

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Shltskc gw? G

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Roses are red, Violets are blue.. And IDGAF!

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knock knock whose there?? seth oh, come in

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What do you call a man with no legs? A cripple

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Yo momma is so stupid, she has no job, five kids, and six weeks to live, due to the fact she spent all her money on cigarettes and now has lung cancer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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