Why did the man cross the road? To attend his wife's funeral.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What happens when you have nothing to do and you can't think of a joke? You just type whatever you want and hope to god someone likes it.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

how many large people can you fit in a bath tub ... 1/16

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the airplane crash? The pilot was a tomato!!

thumb_up thumb_down -7

NEVER

thumb_up thumb_down -14

"Up to 50% off."

thumb_up thumb_down +12

a 10 year old walks into a bar and orders a beer, he is then escorted out because you are not aloud to be under 21 one years old to be in a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Todays word of the day, is "legs" lets head back to your place and spread the word....

thumb_up thumb_down +22

A Muslim gets off his plane from Saudi Arabia to New York and walks to customs where a TSA agent asks him "what is you business in America?" The Muslim responds "I am here for a vacation". He walks on, and returns home 10 days later.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What did the farmer say to the survivor of the plane crash that just crashed on his land? "Need a band-aid?"

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Did you know that there is a species of rodent capable of jumping higher than an average three-story building? This is due to its muscular hind legs and the fact that the average three-story building cannot jump.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Two astronauts go kayaking in the Sahara Desert. How many pancakes does it take to shingle doghouse? Purple, because ice cream has no bones.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did casino dealer say to the other? Every day I'm shuffling.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What do you call a blonde with a diploma? Dum,because blondes are still dum

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did th chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock knock! Who's there? The chicken

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Why couldnt the man find his wallet? He didnt have one

thumb_up thumb_down -20

You know what makes me smile? Face muscles.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

If at first you don't succeed.... maybe skydiving isn't for you...

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Q: How do you stop a black man from drowning? A: Quit peeing in his mouth.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A depressed gay teenager goes to his boyfriend’s house. Why and what happens? Shaun was often discriminated against for being homosexual. He always tried to be positive and a good person, but when his parents disowned him, Shaun couldn’t help but feel alone and unloved. Upset, Shaun went to his boyfriend’s house to seek comfort from his lover. Sunny, his boyfriend, immediately told Shaun that he loved him and things will get better for both of them. A year later, Shaun rebuilds his relationship with his old family and they apologize for their lack of understanding. Sunny and Shaun are very close emotionally, and wish to get married. However, they live in Texas, where marriage is outlawed. Shaun’s family agrees to help aid the couple financially in their marriage. They help Sunny and Shaun move to New York City where they had a successful gay marriage and pursued their dreams of becoming a video-game character designer/artist and a professional hop-hop dancer, respectively. They adopt their first child two months later and raise their child positively, and adopt her younger sister five months after that. The two daughters love their two dads and grow up to be a successful NASA scientist and a talented singer, respectively. Sunny and Shaun live a long, happy life together filled with love, happy, and joy. They die peacefully in their nineties.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick

thumb_up thumb_down +10

whos a sick fuck? jake morris

thumb_up thumb_down -9

An Irishman walks into a bar. His alcoholism is tearing his family apart.

thumb_up thumb_down +100

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops