A man walks into the local grocery store on his way to work. He stops by the pastry section to buy a bagel. As he is paying, the cashier says "and here's some blueberries, they're complimentary." The man looks at the blueberries expectantly. When they don't say anything he looks up, feeling foolish, pays for his bagel and heads off to work as a partner in a lawyer firm.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What did Stephen Hawking say to his daughter? Nothing, his illness prevents him from talking. And letting a high-tech wheelchair make human sounds isn't talking!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What should you do when a man carrying a stuffed tortoise tries to break into your house? Call the police.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What really killed the dinosaurs? ME!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -18

So a woman is in the kitchen. And she makes the most delicious turkey salad for her 4 hungry children and her husband. They love Jesus

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why does Kony kidnap infants? To create an Infantry

thumb_up thumb_down +41

A joke were created last night and was so funny! But this is not the case

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Womens rights

thumb_up thumb_down +65

Knock Knock Who's there? The police. The police who? Your wife has been killed in a car accident.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What do you call the Flintstones if they were black? N****rs

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why didn't the black man brush his teeth today? Because he was already too late for work.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A boy walks into his friend's house for a party. While he waits for his friends to return from the bar he realizes there are many people waiting in different lines for various kinds of drinks. After his friends return he decides he does not want any of the carbonated drinks they had ordered, instead he chooses to wait in the fruit punch line. There is no punch line.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A white guy, a black guy, and a spanish guy jump off a building. They all die on impact and their families mourn their loss for years to come.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

human centipede

thumb_up thumb_down

Knock knock Who's there? Interrupting doctor. Interrupting doct- You have cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A fire at a chinese high school caused the death of many children. The drill was unsucessful.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

how does bob marley like his doughnuts? Sugared

thumb_up thumb_down -21

A bear woke up from his annual hibernation to find that his stomach is growling. "I sure am hungry." the sleepy bear said. So he found some berries, but spit them out. "These berries are far too bitter." the playful bear said. He then found some honey, however was soon bombarded with a swarm of bees. "That honey is good, but not that good." the jolly bear said. He then stumbled upon a cabin. "I wonder if there is any food in here..." the curteous bear wondered. The events that followed are now reffered to by the locals as the May 20th Massacre. While no witnesses survived, the police reports depict that the Martinez family, a young family of 7 enjoying their memorial day weekend in their New Hampshire cabin, was brutally slain by a blood-thirsty animal who tracked each of them throughout the house in a period of approximately 45 minutes.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the man go bald? He had cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Funny joke to play on an elderly woman: Take her cane and push her In front of a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Whats white and blue and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? a fridge in a denim jacket :D

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why are anti jokes funny? You can trick an old person to think they are

thumb_up thumb_down +23

so a man walks into a bar, then the prison warden told him to calm doun.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

There are four dead people on a boat. They commit suicide. Why did they commit suicide. To get to the other side!

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops