A duck walks up to a lemonade stand and says to the man nothing. Because It's a duck.

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What does the alien say to the man? Nothing, because it is highly unlikely that an alien would ever land on Earth, and even more unlikely that they would speak the same language of us. On top of that, aliens would not know anything about our species, and would probably hide from us due to being frightened and eventually flee back to their home planet where we would never see them again because our techonology is not advanced enough and the chances that we would find their planet which is somewhere among the billions of planets in the universe, are slim.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

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Man: I'm just popping out to get cigarettes (He never returns.)

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why did matt daly want to go to prison? to be fondled

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Roses are black Violets are black I lost my eyesight at two years old and all I see is black.

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what do you call ten white people on a bench ten white people sitting on a bench, possibly eating their lunch

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What did the rugby post say to the tree? Good evening George!

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The horse said "nay."

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An Irish man walks into his home and orders a drink.

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Ask me if I'm a truck. Are you a truck? No.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Seven was pursuing his dream of becoming the world's best circus clown, which six developed a fear of in a tragic circus accident which occured in his childhood. Therefore, six was afraid of seven.

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yo mamma's so stupid, she is not that smart.

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4 on three... 1, 2, 3, 4!

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Ok so there were 2 white dudes telling black jokes...so one of the white dudes tells a joke to the other... 1st dude: what's brown and tall? 2nd dude: a tree 1st dude: no that scary black man who looks like he wants to beat us up.

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What does a black person and ebola have in common? They both kill people

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what do you call a muslim flying a plane 911

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I think people who go to see a psychiatrist need their head examining.

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Gay people: "Quit calling Justin Bieber gay, we don't want him either."

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i feel like when the radish was discovered someone was like "hey lets call it rad!" and another guy was like "lets dial it down a bit"

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Redcunt? You got to try being nicer if you want a proper answer

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You know what's interesting about Polish people? Nothing.

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The man who invented the teleprompter has died at the age of 91. When President Obama heard the news, he was speechless.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, these two statement are obvious unless you are color blind

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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