Me and my wife set and watch the eleven o'clock news every night. My wife always thinks that she has the different disease that is mentioned each day. One night she was practically in tears telling me that she had the disease that was talked about that night. I looked at her and said "honey, there is no way that you have testicular cancer. You don't even have testiculars." The End

thumb_up thumb_down +22

An asian woman was driving along the freeway one day when a police officer pulled her over and arrested her, The officer arrested her because she had killed her husband 5 years ago and she thought she had gotten away with it.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

How did the chicken cross the road? He went to the crosswalk so all the cars had to stop for him.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why was the child in the clown's car? Because the clown was a serial killer and abducted the child while he was at soccer practice, the child then raped and murdered

thumb_up thumb_down +16

whats worse than find a worm in your apple? finding the holocaust in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

How many Haitians does it take to change a lightbulb? Typically one, unless the light bulb referenced is in an inconvenient location or is over-sized / industrial grade.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's the difference between a Pile of Dead Babies and a Lamborghini? I don't have a Lamboghini in my garage

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven raped and murdered eight's family.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

roses are red but violets are definately violet what retard made this rhyme

thumb_up thumb_down +9

whos gay rusty kohlen hit him up on facebook!

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Roses are black Violets are black Everything is black —Stevie Wonder

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What's orange and is a loyalist in the orange order? Caoimhin McCann?

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A fish walks into a bar

thumb_up thumb_down +21

All this fuss about drink driving is a load of crap! I frequently drink and drive, and I've never had an accident, apart from one small collision in which my wife was paralysed from the neck down.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Why does the Easter Bunny deliver chocolate eggs? Because

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What did the man say to the atractive woman? Hi

thumb_up thumb_down +20

what is white and if it falls out of a tree it will kill you? a refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Yo mama so fat, she should see a doctor to discuss healthier lifestyles.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

charlie sheen becomes sober.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why did the balck man sit at the back of the bus? Because all the other seats were taken.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the man remain calm when the judge passed the death sentence? Because he was in another country and had no connection with the case.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

How did the lifegaurd break his leg? He was hit by a submarine!

thumb_up thumb_down +19

when there's trouble lurking in your neighbourhood, who you gonna call? The local authorities.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

whats worse than a kane nothing

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops