What do you do if you are surrounded by 2000 Hungry cannibals? You talk to them in a calm yet determined diplomatic voice, then you become a part of them. Moral: A part of them... Forever.

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Sally sold seashells by the seashore but she didnt make any money of course. seashells on the shore can be picked up off the beach for free

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how do you beat up 3 year old with ease? you beat her up, 3 years can't fight for shit.

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A black man went on the bus and sat down next to a white man. The white man looked up from his magazine and stared at the black man. They then chit-chatted and enjoyed their trip.

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What do you call a kid with no arms, no legs, and an eye patch? Names

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Q: what white hard and huge and it can kill you if you fall out of a tree? A: a refrigerator

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A man walks into a bar... He has a severe drinking problem, and his wife weeps for him

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs floating in the ocean? Bob. What do you call a man with no arms or legs in front of your door? Matt. What do you call a man with no arms or legs hanging on your wall? Art.

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an american walks out of a strip club.

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A deranged serial killer walks into a bar. No one leaves because he looks like a normal guy.

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What starts with Pu and ends with Y, And homosexuals tend not to like them. "Pushy" People.

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Why was the trucker making noises? It was having sex with someone

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chuck norris

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Q: When do you know you've had to much to drink? A: When the zebra in your belly button starts talking to you

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A boy writes an anti-joke. It is not funny. He sees his friends teasing him about the jokes stupidity. He promptly pokes his eyes out with a dull broom stick. He can still hear his friends mocking him. He cuts his ears off with an industrial meat slicer. He wakes up the next morning and doesnt give a crap about the prior days events. Mainly because he can no longer see or hear.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Mark Mark who? Mark Jennings. Oh hey, Mark, come in.

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A man with Alzheimers favorite thing to read is the first page of the antijoke book

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A Muslim walked into a bar. He didn't drink anything

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A visibly exhausted and distressed man walks into a bar and orders a strong drink. "Long day?" the bartender asks. "Yes" the man replies, because he is aware that the bartender wasn't actually asking if the day way long, but rather if the day was hard.

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How do you get a black man down from a tree? Cut the rope!

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You are like really sincere aren't you? I really appreciate that in a friend. Thank you for being who you are Nero.

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mike:what did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas tom:cancer ahahahaha mike:he got a skateboard jerk nararrator: this skate board will be worth less because he has no legs

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Why do i love this website? Because it is funny.

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12 sea cows waddle into a bar... Yea, I bet, you'd like to hear the end of that one.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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