Q: What happened to the man who died? A: Nothing, there is no afterlife.

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what to you call a black person that flies planes? a pilot YOU RACIST

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A Fat Kenyan

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A man waltzes into a bar, waving a carrot in the air. With an arrogant air of self-importance he flops onto a highchair at the bar. Looka here, looka here, he says to the bartender, waiving the carrot at the man. Will you buy me drinks all night, if I can make this carrot... Never mind, and please leave my bar, the bartender says, pulling out a carrot from under the counter. I've got one myself.

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What do two Mexicans call a stray cat? Gato

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What's the difference between deer nuts and beer nuts? Beer nuts are $1.50 and deer nuts are under a buck.

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A man from China is learning English and when confronted by a cop accidentally answers each question with one of the few words he knows, impugning himself in the process. The cop, not being a sociopath, realizes that the chuckling foreigner probably has no idea what he has just done and hands him a dictionary to help him cope with the drastic change.

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a women picks up her phone and screams! There were 3 missed calls from her mother-inlaw

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What didn't the man piss on the dead baby? Because that is just morally wrong. Instead, he reported it to the police and aided the cause of justice.

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How do you stop a baby alien from crying? Watch what its mother does to soothe it and then try and copy that.

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why did the man hop everywhere? He only had one leg

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What is the difference between a peasant and a pheasant? One's a bird.

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Which came first, the chicken or the egg? It's a meaningless question because animals had been creating eggs for millions of years before chickens ever evolved.

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NASCAR

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Knock knock. Stop making puns at my door!

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how do you stop a baby from crying? Slit its throat

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What is the best invention ever? Taking a crap reverse. So you can enjoy a nice bowl of aids.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 8 9. Why was 7 afraid of 9? Because 9 was black.

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why does the guy jack off to black on black porn? because he's black

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Why did your ears get blasted with sound? You never turned the volume down..

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What goes in dry, comes out wet and pleases two people. A teabag, you pervert.

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Whats worse than being a student? Being raped.

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Guy: If you can guess what's in my hand, you can have it. Girl: If it fits in one hand, you can keep it!

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Why did the English man walk into a bar? Do get an alcoholic beverage to temporarily forget the pain of his recent divorce.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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