DON'T TOUCH MY DUCK, IT HAS A ONE DOLLAR BILL

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What's the difference between a hooker and an onion? You don't have to cook an onion to eat it.

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Where must you go if you have the desire to eat somebody's face? A psychiatric ward. You are clearly going insane and must seek help.

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Your mama's so dumb, she don't even know it.

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What is the similarity between John W. Booth and Pee Wee Herman? They both got arrested for shooting someone in the back of the head in the theater.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I dream of a day when chickens won't be questioned about their actions

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs on the front porch? Matt What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a hole? Phil What do you call a man with no arms and no legs floating down the river? Bob

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What do a grape and a reindeer have in common? They're both purple, except the reindeer.

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what's blue , and you can urinate on it ? a rim block.

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What are the biggest ants in the world? Ants under a magnifying glass.

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why did the elephant fall out of the tree? it was hit by a fridge. why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was sellotaped to the elephant.

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Why was Rebecca Black beaten with a pole when she sang Friday? It was Saturday

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why couldn't the tree grow? Because I cut it down with a chainsaw

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What did the baby do when it crossed the rode? It didn't get across it got hit by a car.

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How does santa deliver presents? He doesn't, because he's not real!

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Do you know who's gay? Homosexuals.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the middle of the ocean? A tragic drowning victim. And later, food for sharks, probably.

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How do you drown a blonde? Intentionally attempting to drown anyone, regardless of their hair color, is murder which is illegal and morally wrong to do.

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Why did the boy throw the clock out the window? He was severely depressed.

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On Friday the 13th,My cat turned into a dog.

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Jews

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Banana

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if life give you lemons. put them in the fridge they should be there...

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What did the lawyer name his daughter. he couldnt because both the baby and his wife died in child birth.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops