Why did the kid fall off the swing? He had no legs.

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Your mother is so obese, that when shot with a high velocity round from a handgun, the bullet is unlikely to penetrate the several layers of fat protecting her vital organs, like a fleshy kevlar vest. However, she is likely to die from infection, which is highly commom among gunshot wounds.

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Why did the boy cry after baseball practice? He was molested by his coach.

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Knock, knock. Come in.

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Doorknob.?/111111!!!!hrfuasdyfgasdkhfgawihbrtpaeyrgfai;yegf;gtf L Like or I will killl you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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A zebra dies and goes to animal heaven. All the animals around him are trotting, flying, jumping, each according to its own species, in the kind of bliss that only eternity can bring. But the zebra is not impressed and mopes through heaven's green fields. A giraffe notices his languid stupor and asks, "Why so glum, pal?" The zebra mournfully replies, "All my life I've wondered if I was black with white stripes or white with black stripes." The giraffe, hoping to get the zebra to some answers as quickly as possible, suggests, "Why not go as God?" The zebra, somewhat taken aback by the notion that God might give him an audience, replies, "Oh, I can do that?" The giraffe says, "Sure, I'll show you the way!" The giraffe leads the zebra to a great tabernacle of gold and points the way up a long stairway of diamond. The zebra follows the stairs up to two great ivory doors. But no matter what he tried, the zebra couldn't get the door open. The only animals that could open the door for him would be the primates because of their opposable digits, but the zebra wasn't much of a social animal, so he didn't have any friends. He spent eternity with no answer to his question.

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hahaha

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Why did the plane crash into the mountain? The Pilot was a tomato

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Hey, Texas! Knock knock Texas: Who's there? Ebola

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where is the world?

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Why wouldn't the baby boy stop crying when the babysitter was in the room? Because he put cigarettes out on him.

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What's the difference between Harry Potter and the Jews? Harry Potter can escape the chambers.

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Why are small clowns and baby's alike? They both dreadfully die when hit in the face with an axe!

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Why was the kid crying Cuz there was a frog stapled to his head

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Why did the hipster burn his mouth on a piece of pizza? Because the pizza was on fire.

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Yo momma was so ugly that everybody died.

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What did the dealer say to the addict? Sup.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Hey pal, why the long face?" The horse neighed.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road Because he did

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Guess what my dog can do? Bark.

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What did Einstein say to the blonde? 'What specific part of the theory don't you understand?'

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I win an iPad for pooping on someone's head Answer- We have a muddaf**kin winna

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What's bigger than a whale and has no water? Africa.

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Santa isn't real

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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