How do you get to pigs in a pen? Move them.

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Call of Duty Infinite Warfare

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how do you crash a party? You dont because that would be rude.

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If life hands you lemons Take them

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I have a black friend that recently went to the doctor for a full checkup. I saw him today, and he we was dressed to the nines in a very expensive suit. "What's with the suit," I asked. "My doctor told me I'm impotent! So I thought, if I'm going to be impotent, then it'll be harder to attract a long term mate without the ability to give her children someday. So I've decided to showcase my impeccable taste in style to make up for it." He seemed really bummed out, so I gave him a hug and we went and had some ice cream.

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What's the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead black guy in the road? It doesn't matter, I cried after both

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What do you call a black person who was in the U.S. army and survived WWII? A veteran, considering he fought a war and is still alive.

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i am an idiot if you read this outloud your a dumb ass

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Hold on, please hold on! I will explain, it is my name, but I don't know whats so wrong with it at all... Please give me five minutes, I need to use the bathroom, please don't go just yet, don't be mad at me, what have I done wrong now? I mean if you are gonna go to sleep or something please do not be upset with me.

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What did the doctor say when he lost his glasses? Where are my glasses?

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How do you make a clown cry? You kill his family and chop off his legs.

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I took a vampire out for dinner last night. I expected her to cringe when I ordered a rare steak, but we decided not to let my tastes impact on the evening, sharing wine and many stories before heading back to my apartment.

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What would Abraham Lincoln do if he were alive today? Scream and scratch at the lid of his coffin.

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A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse replies, "My face isn't long relative to the others of my species, it is actually quite normal."

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How did the Jewish husband and stay together forever? They didn't. They ended up in divorce like 50% of all other married couples due to irreconcilable differences.

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God said onto john "come forth and receive eternal life" john came fifth and received a toaster.

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A black guy and a white guy are walking down the sidewalk. As it suddenly begins to rain, what does the white guy say to the black guy? Nothing. They did not know each other.

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i had sex i stuck my dick into your mouth

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Two guys walk into a bar. The Third ones a duck

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Colloqiual irregularities are a significant part of the English language, and excellent example of this is between can and may.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread

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How do you make an idiot in suspense?

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Whats black and white and says moo? A Dalmatian retriever with a voice box.

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Why does Ron Weasley have friends? He does't. He's a ginger.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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