Q Why did the feminist cross the road? A To suck my dick

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Why do you want to know? And what did the censor get? Okay okay you are not boring nor stale nor anything, please increase the effect of this thing, its not working very well when I try to.

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What do you call a box with a dead Jew in? A coffin.

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whats a parkour kid? someone who jumps off things and is a pre-teen with adhd

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knock knock who's there? a murderer. a murderer who? a murderer who kills you and your family.

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Do you want to hear a joke? No.

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What do you get when you cross Bambi and a ghost? Bamboo

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Do you want to hear a joke?!?!?!?!?!?! A happy orphan

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What's big, green, fuzzy, and will kill you if it falls out of a tree? A pool table

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Two penguins are sitting in a bathtub. One looks at the other and says, "Can you pass the soap?" The other penguin says, "What do i look like, a typewriter?"

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A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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Why was the Irish Cop happy to see the Mexican family killed in a accident? Because the Lopez family were a family known for generosity and selflessness. It came as no surprise to anyone who knew Steven Lopez and his beloved family that they were all organ donors and not only that but Shelly Lopez, Steven's oldest daughter had blood type O negative (the universal donor). Officer McO'Brianiganly's wife is dying in the hospital in need of a kidney transplant, doctors have given her just weeks to live. Now, thanks to unfortunate events for la familia Lopez., Officer McO'Brianiganly and his wife can live a long happy life together, just as they always imagined.

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Three Blondes were walking when they come upon some tracks. The first blonde says they're deer tracks. The second blonde says they're elk tracks. The last blonde says they're moose tracks. While they are all arguing about what type of tracks they are, they get hit by a train.

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Why cant Joe drive his tractor? Because he doesn't have any arms or legs. Why doesn't Joe have any arms or legs? BECAUSE JOE IS A POTATO.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? People trying to be funny writing the same jokes over and over.

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Two polar bears, oddly enough, are sitting in a bathtub. One of them asks "Could you pass the soap?" The other obliges and gives him the soap.

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Why did the young man not want to go to school? Because he had a large tumor on the left side of his face.

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Knock knock Whos there? Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior jesus christ?

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Not even I believe you will ever know yourself that well ever Nero, you see what you created as a false illusion, as all of your, or rather our effort for nothing, as a pathetic attempt to create heaven on earth. In my eyes, you succeeded in doing so, and if it where for you, or more people such as yourself and I, it would have lasted, stop trying to give people what they do not deserve, and remember that making others happy will never cure the sadness and pain deep within you, only cover it. Stop fleeing from yourself, stay, get to know yourself.

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Hickory dickory dock. Two mice ran up the clock. The clock struck one; The other escaped with minor injuries.

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I road a horse to school. My friend stabbed it with a Javelin and screamed.... The horse was his Dad

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Bin Laden: dang, these pizza guys are so late, this pizza better be free! door: Ring ring ring.. Bin Laden: yes its finally here!

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Have you heard of the Armenian genocide? No? Me neither.

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My uncle was involved in 9/11... He called me before the plane crashed into the twin towers, his final words were so comforting... "ALLAH AKBAR!!!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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