Why did the black man purchase a gun? Because the man enjoys to go hunting in his spare time.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Roses are red Violets are blue These two lines are overused I wonder to what poem they originally come from

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did the picture say to the man? Don't frame me

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? I t was dead. Why did the chicken fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the monkey.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A black man is setting up contingency measures of protection in his personal place of residence when all of a sudden, several warning alarms sound and a few specialized people with red "combating" devices who were alerted by the blatant scenerio unfolding before them were moving quickly in order to match previously stipulated criteria of value. The black man and his family were partaking in a monthly fire drill unfolding in their own house since they were extremely responsible, law-abiding citizens of the city they were located in that required various kinds ofl saftey precautions to be taken so to mitigate the serious chance that people might be hurt by preventable, residential distasters.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

what hurts more than getting shot in the arm Getting shot in both arms!

thumb_up thumb_down +12

An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Where do you find a baby with no arms or legs? Where you left it.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the sidewalk he was on does not.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q: What do you call a psychic midget who has escaped from prison? A: A SMALL MEDIUM AT LARGE!

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Q: What's worse than a truckload of dead babies? A: Shoveling them out with a pitchfork.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why did the chicken cross the road? It felt like it, no particular reason. Why did the hippo cross the road? Same reason as the chicken. Why did the Fred cross the road? He was with animal control, and a chicken and hippo had just been reported to cross this dangerous stretch of highway.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A man walks into a bar. It leads to a fight that is enjoyable to watch.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

why did the girl slap joe? he had a boner.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

One Big Ass Mistake America

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the chicken cross the road? An obsession with what motivates a chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What grows on trees and is woody? Wood.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A Jew walks into a bar...He uses his coupon to get a free drink, then leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

whats purple and attacks like a bear? a purple bear

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's gayer than Justin Beiber? The guy getting a blowjob from him! Kelvin Yang.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Dog is walking through a park and is almost stepped on by a horse. Dog says, "Hey, watch where you're going!" Horse says, "Well, looky here! A talking dog!"

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

se* is like math add the couple minus the clothes add the cream and just hope they dont multiply

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops