Hello, I'm David and I just stabbed my aunt in the eye. Just kidding, my name isn't David. That was an Aunt Eye(anti) joke.

why did the chicken cross the road? it didn't it got hit by a bus.

Why did the boy collect poop? Because it was it was his dogs shit.

What did the priest get for Christmas? Herpes

Robin, get in the batmobile.

Why is Jesus not real? Because Chuck Norris is still alive.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because I threw it after I chopped its' head off.

Tom buys his wife Mary the latest Eco friendly car. The car is said to go well over 100 miles on a tank of gas. A week later, Tom is stunned to learn that when his wife was driving to the supermarket the car ran out of gas, despite that the tank was full and she only drove 5 miles. How is this possible? Mary was involved in a horrendous car accident that caused the fuel to empty and catch fire. Mary survived but their 6 month old baby was killed.

What do you call a kid without any friends? A Sandy Hook survivor

What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A bicycle.

What did one pole say to the other pole? We are both from poland

Why does the easter bunny hide his eggs? Because he wants to hide the fact he knocked up a chicken.

How many dead babes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? its not possible because there all dead

Once you go black you may be more open to dating a second black person.

What gets louder as it gets smaller? A baby in a trash compactor.

Whats the difference between a Mexican and a bench? A Mexican is a Mexican and a bench is a bench.

Soccer...

How did the kid drop his ice he got hit by a train Griffin Cholette

How many Dean Mckee's does it take to screw in a lightbulb? He doesn't know what a lightbulb's for, nevermind how to use one.

This is one LONG empty space isn't it?

dry handjob

My name is Nero, Angelo Nero, its Italian (or rather Roman) For Black Angel, and yes it is my real name, you will believe me once you see my passport, driving license, mastercard whatever, I am 32 years old and I wont tell you my last name because at this rate... You could probably just google me up and find it yourself. Seriously, I am latino you know that, romantic is in my veins, but hey, you never told me you liked that so if we agreed to sex, that was what I was going with... I did tell you that sex is kinda meh for me without the romance factor. The thing about your name being Tifa, is that you look A LOT like the video game character, I mean come on! You even got red eyes! (okay hers may be a brownish red but come on!) You should post a picture of yourself online and see how many guys find you really sexy... Then again, dont, I want you for myself. Sorry this is taking some time, I dont get any of these solvemedia crapcraps

There once was a man from Duluth who's never did rhyme. They were often too short.

What happened as a result of the bitter terrorist attack? The president began to devise a plan to help the abused child

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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