Three men are walking on a beach when they find a lamp. They rub it, and a genie comes out. It tells them that they each get one wish, and to choose wisely. They each decide to discuss what to wish for with their wives. Their wives take them to a local hospital, where they receive treatment for hallucinations.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Probably because this chicken had a mental disability and saw on the news that there was a hospital on the other side of the road that could treat his illness and possibly save his life, allowing him to fulfill his life-long dream of retirement. But knowing that chickens do not possess the brain power capable of understanding the situation that this chicken was in, it had probably gotten lost and just wandered off.

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what is the most efficient way to scratch your balls? hire a leprechaun slave.

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Roses are red. Violets are red. My thumb is red because I accidentally put it in the toaster.

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Why did FiddleBob Joe chuck a stick of butter out the window? Because he wanted to see a butter fly

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I wrote a joke for 'Anti-Joke', I laughed, it was funny.

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What's the difference between a cow and a Spanish person? To get to the other side

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Your mom.

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An Irishman, a Zimbabwean and a South African walk into a bar... oh wait, it's just the English cricket team.

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An Irishman, a German, a Jew, and a Mexican walk into a bar...... the Irishman is named designated driver and all four have a safe and enjoyable evening.

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d

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Yo mamas so fat

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A doctor rides in his Mercedes Benz through a rough, poor part of town. He sees a homeless person who is begging for money. The doctor stops and gets out of his car and asks "Ill give you some money if you need it for food". The homeless person then shoots and kills the doctor, takes his wallet, and buys crack.

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did you ever see a butter fly?

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What dud the dorito say to the other dorito? Nothing. Sorosis are incapable of speaking because they are doritos

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What disease did the gay man get from his partner? Streptococcus!

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Big feet on a man means he has, Nothing, a man's foot size has no relation to the size of his penis.

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life is like a rapist. sometimes they're nice other times, they ram you in the ass.

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LOL i just pissed on Hitlers grave! Shoudn't killed the Jews BITCH!

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wats worse than gettin bitched at by ur mom? gettin raped by a giant scorpian n getting SUPER ULTRA MEGA AIDS

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What did the child say after the priest touched him? Thank you for the ashes Father, have a blessed Lenten season.

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Why did the man pee his pants? Because he was paralyzed from the waist down and had no way of feeling

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Hellen Keller walks into a bar. And a tree. And a lamp.

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What's the color of the sky when an airplane takes off? Blue. What are you, stupid?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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